The doctor said to his patient...
Posted by President_Calhoun@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 8 comments
"I've got good news and bad news. Which would you like to hear first?"
"Give me the bad news first."
"You have two weeks to live."
"Two weeks to live?? What can the good news possibly be?"
"I bowled a 290."
3catsoftheapocalypse@reddit
You've only got about 10 left.
Years? Months?
9, 8, 7...
LordCouchCat@reddit
Very dark variant:
Prisoner is being taken out to be shot. It's raining heavily and the path is muddy and unpleasant.
Prisoner: Aren't you ashamed to drag me out to die in these conditions?
Guard:: What are you complaining about? We've got to walk back.
jet_heller@reddit
Dr. good news/bad news.
Patient: give me the good news.
Dr: According to these tests you have two weeks to live.
Patient: that's the GOOD news? What is the bad news.
Dr: I should have told you this 10 days ago.
Motor_Growth_9036@reddit
After examining the patient the doctor found out the patient has gonorrhea aids and syphilis.
“We’re gonna put you on a pancake and flounder diet” said the doctor
“Will that cure me?” Replied the patient
“No, but that’s the only kind of food we can shove under the door”
dontseethateveryday@reddit
The good news is I just saved 15% on my car insurance.
boxfullofirony@reddit
The good news is they're going to name a disease after you.
Virtual_Search3467@reddit
The good news is, you won’t remember the bad news by the time you leave.
Kooky-Glass4409@reddit
The bad new is, we've been trying to contact you for two weeks.