A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “Ha! That’s not going to help,” she said.

Hmm, hard to say. Don’t know of many cars that go 0-120 MPH in 3 seconds. Maybe acBugatti. You could get hurt just riding in a car that accelerates that fast. Also in America, cars are usually rated on their acceleration time for 0-60 MPH. O-120 KPH makes more sense, though but not American. I suppose 0-100 KPH is a more common stat.

As far as weight. Have you seen a stereotypical American? 120 lbs is nothing. That’s a teenage girl. 120Kg would be a better weight to make this joke more funny.

The real question here isn’t if Op is or isn’t American. The real question is why is this joke so lame.

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bigloser42@reddit

Nothing road legal does 0-120mph in 3 seconds from the factory. The closest is probably the Rimac Nevera, I don’t have a 0-120 for it, but it does 0-100mph in 4.1 seconds. That’s a 2,107hp AWD EV. If that’s not enough, I don’t know what is.

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keyboardstatic@reddit

Most f1 cars go from 0 to 97 kilometres in 1.8 seconds. So its not much to get to 120k....

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bigloser42@reddit

An F1 car is not street legal. Also, according to redbull an Indy car takes 3s to hit 90mph, and Indy cars are faster in a straight line than F1 cars:

https://www.redbull.com/us-en/how-fast-do-f1-cars-go

So I doubt it’s going to make it to 120mph in 3s.

I think the only thing that’s hitting those acceleration marks are funny cars or higher.

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LuckyTreacle3418@reddit

Sounding smart not knowing anything.

Cars are built around 0-100 kph.

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rossxog@reddit

Right, but the issue was if this was an American. 0-120 makes more sense in KPH and KG

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Pato_Lucas@reddit

My girlfriend left me because I wasn't American enough.
I guess I could have seen that coming a kilometre away.

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elmwoodblues@reddit

Pfft...chucks are a pfennig a dozen

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purpleflavouredfrog@reddit

Very slim if they are.

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Ice_Wolf912@reddit

Maybe it's kilograms

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purpleflavouredfrog@reddit

Not if they are Americans

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AgitatedText@reddit

Mine wanted something with a lot of diamonds in it, so I got her a deck of cards.

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boxfullofirony@reddit

My wife was looking in the mirror and asked me "do I look fat in these pants?"

I replied "Do you promise not to get mad no matter what I say?"

She said "yes".

So I said "I fucked your sister"

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irredentistdecency@reddit

I used this joke on my ex-wife thinking she would find it funny because she doesn’t have a sister.

She did not, in fact, find it funny…

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badinkywaba@reddit

Was she your ex before or after you told her this joke?

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irredentistdecency@reddit

She became my ex long after the joke - but in hindsight, the fact the she responded to the joke by insinuating that what I meant by saying that was that I had slept with her younger brother’s ex-girlfriend who I had only met once at a family meal & barely said two sentences to; probably was a clue of things to come & the issues that I ended up leaving her because of.

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Baconsliced@reddit

I feel like I shouldn’t understand this but I do.

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Visible-Pie-3225@reddit

And the wife says - " You know she used to be a man before. Before she became Patricia she was Patrick."

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AgitatedText@reddit

Years ago, I dumped a girlfriend because I found out she used to be Christian. Maybe that makes me shallow, but I had only ever known her as Christine.

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