'Yo Momma' jokes are old, have no class, and are done to death by just about everyone.
Posted by RavingRationality@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 163 comments
Just like yo momma.
charlesmikeshoe@reddit
Yo mama so slow it took her 9 months to make a joke.
wemustkungfufight@reddit
Yo mama do old her Bible is autographed!
Yo mama didn't get beat with an ugly stick, she fell put of the ugly tree and hit every branch!
ryco1983@reddit
Yo mamma so old when god said “let there be light” she ran for the switch
RavingRationality@reddit (OP)
This is great.
youcanteatthatsir@reddit
Yo momma so poor she can’t even afford to pay attention
staffa_kartherma@reddit
Yo momma so poor, I saw her walking down the street kicking a can. I asked her what she was doing , she said "I'm moving".
RavingRationality@reddit (OP)
Oh sweet Lord Jesus what have I done?
(Guess it was yo momma.)
SeanMacLeod1138@reddit
Yo mama so stank she get a sourdough yeast infection 😆
celestialmechanic@reddit
There’s probably an Internet Rule pertaining to it. I’m not going to argue about which one. 😂
SeanMacLeod1138@reddit
Yo mama so fat she could play nine-ball with the solar system 🤭
Devil_May_Kare@reddit
"Your mother is so ignorant she searched Elrond's cupboard for his copies of Dianetics."
"Your mother is so vast that at the Battle of the Five Armies, she was two of them."
"Your mother is so large that much that once was has been lost behind her."
--Gandalf vs. Saruman - The Complete Trilogy
BeardedMass@reddit
Your mother is so large that the Balrog COULD not pass.
NoResponsibility2386@reddit
Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and came back with flip flops
Swoupdog@reddit
So is your momma lol
TheVyper3377@reddit
Yo mamma’s don’t dumb, you’d get change back if you gave her a penny for her thoughts.
Ok_Professor4339@reddit
i raoe children nigga
OutdoorRaleigh@reddit
Yo mamma so fat the sorting hat put her in Waffle House
slowpoke257@reddit
Yo mamma so fat her patronus is a cake
Moist-Debate-5497@reddit
I heard it as a bucket of KFC 🤣
Gardami@reddit
Yo Mama so slow, she took 9 months to make a joke.
Valsharia@reddit
yo momma so old and fat, the last time she jumped, the dinosaurs went extinct
ButtersStochChaos@reddit
Yo momma so ugly she has to roofie her vibrator.
Yo momma so ugly your dad takes her to work so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
Yeahmad
RileyTaker@reddit
Yo momma so ugly your dad wakes up with morning wouldn't.
Mojo141@reddit
Yo momma so fat -they baptized her at SeaWorld
-i wanted to get on her good side and had to take 2 buses
mrcapmam1@reddit
And a train you forgot the train
Plus-King5266@reddit
I couldn’t FIND the damn train!
navejadarian@reddit
That's cuz we was runnin' it on some dudes fat ass moms, yo
ImANuckleChut@reddit
I came to post the second one and end it with "I had to take a plane, two trains, and a bus to get on her good side".
Still one of my favorites though.
imsowhiteandnerdy@reddit
Yo mama SO fat, that uhh, she's decided to make some life changes, get some exercise, eat better, cut back on carbs, make healthier decisions.
So yeah, pretty fat.
CaptainPositive1234@reddit
My fav yo momma joke:
Your mama is so fat, she sat on Neil Coal and he became Neil Diamond.
Death2Gnomes@reddit
Yo momma so fat she uses sheep 5 days a month.
Total_Ad6587@reddit
Tell your mom I said hi
EverySingleMinute@reddit
Yo mamma so fat she got stuck in this air
DBarron21@reddit
Your mama so slow it took her 9 months to make a joke.
mrhb2e@reddit
Yo mamma like a brick. Dirty, flat on both sides and always getting layed by Mexicans.
robtninjaman@reddit
Your momma so fat when she jumped in the air she got stuck.
Outrageous-Rich-1134@reddit
Yo mamma so fat that during a full moon she turns into a warehouse
alexsteb@reddit
To momma so fat, it takes her two trips to go anywhere by car
reader106@reddit
You Moma's so teenie she can hang glide on a Dorito...
ETtheBiggaFigga@reddit
Yo Mama so poor she can’t even afford to give her two cents’
Pineydude@reddit
I don’t have a mom, me and my dad share yours
Marquar234@reddit
Thine matriarch's countenance is so grotesque, Joseph Merrick didst gawk at her.
___HeyGFY___@reddit
Thy mother is of such unfathomable visage that her tears cascade down her back, seeking refuge from her countenance.
mrcapmam1@reddit
A cultured yo mama joke i know the world hasn't ended yet but you can see it from here
Kush420King666@reddit
Yo mama so ugly her reflection walked away.
___HeyGFY___@reddit
Yo mama so ugly her imaginary friend played with the kids across the street
mrcapmam1@reddit
Yo mama so ugly they tied a pork chop to her neck so the dog would play with her
JugdishSteinfeld@reddit
Yo mama so ugly Scorpion said "Stay over there!"
Luvs_to_drink@reddit
*rolled away
No way that fat ass in the reflection could walk
Powasam5000@reddit
Your momma so fat instead of sending starlink into orbit they just attach them to her belt.
edfitz83@reddit
Yo momma’s like a bowling ball. She gets picked up, fingered, and thrown in the gutter.
mrcapmam1@reddit
I laughed way too hard at that one thanks
powdered_dognut@reddit
But you can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
substandardpoodle@reddit
Yo momma so fat she can only play “seek”.
And if you ever meet someone named Luke say this: “Luke, I am yo momma!” They really appreciate that, nk.
TemporaryBluejay3570@reddit
What do you call 100 lesbians with guns?
Militia Ethridge
ATXKLIPHURD@reddit
Yo momma so fat her blood type is ragu!
SilverSurfina@reddit
It used to be called jumpoling before yo momma jumped on it.
Sciekosis@reddit
Your momma is so fat and stupid she thought the equator was a new dessert at McDonald's.
Cauchy_Riemann@reddit
Yo mama so fat, when I pictured her in my head I broke my neck.
ImANuckleChut@reddit
This one made me snort out a laugh. Hell yeah for ones I haven't heard before.
WhyGhozting@reddit
They might be old but some can still be a bit funny too
ImANuckleChut@reddit
Yo momma so fat, she has to put her lipstick on with a paint roller.
Pipe_42@reddit
Yo Momma so fat, 12 hours in the crematorium only got her to medium rare.
mkstot@reddit
Rumor has is it that the grease that rendered off her fat ass is still burning to this day.
XROOR@reddit
Yo mama so fat, even her knees have love handles
TheBlueCrab850@reddit
Your momma is so fat. When there is a full moon, she turns into a warehouse
Appropriate_Olive_19@reddit
Yo mama so nasty, I stepped on a roach and she said,
"You gonna eat that?"
blackdantey@reddit
Yo momma so old, you’re going to have to make a tough decision soon
PsychoSmurfz@reddit
Yo momma so fat she fell over n cut her leg n gravy poured out 😁
PacRat48@reddit
Yo mamma so fat she went to the restaurant and the waiter handed her a menu.
She looked at it and said “That looks good. I’ll have that”
JoeJitsu79@reddit
Yo mama so stupid it took it took her two hours to watch 60 Minutes
BendGroundbreaking83@reddit
Your mother is so fat that between her two breasts there is a time difference
QosmoQueen@reddit
Yo mama so fat she got hit by a bus she turned she yelled "hey who threw that?!"
CoolDragon@reddit
Yo momma is so slow, it takes her an hour to cook MINUTE RICE.
Eyemold_Azzell@reddit
Yo momma teef so yellow, when she smiles traffic slow down.
Glum-Ad7761@reddit
Yo Momma is SO fat, even hippos say, “Dayum You Fat!”
Glum-Ad7761@reddit
Yo Momma… is SO fat… That when she walks into Walmart she makes the prices roll back!
14high@reddit
Yo mama so fat she needs a yacht to go kayaking
14high@reddit
Yo mama so fat parachutes refuse to open
14high@reddit
Yo mama so fat her shadow has a shadow
Ted_Denslow@reddit
Yo momma so fat... when she jumps, the radio skips.
ssshield@reddit
Yo mama so fat, she jumped up in the air and got stuck
Osbert92@reddit
Yo momma is so nasty, her titties give sour milk.
CzarCW@reddit
Yo mama so fat I threw out my back trying to raise her spirits.
one_angry_custodian@reddit
This one came to me in a dream:
Yo mama so fat she gets her showers at the car wash
BBorNot@reddit
Yo momma so fat she's got triabetes.
NeedAVeganDinner@reddit
Never heard this one, got me
brq327@reddit
Yo momma so ugly yo daddy became a monk
TyrantOfFury@reddit
Yo mamma so fat she pays her rent by selling shade
goldhelmet@reddit
Just like yo momma.
Mental_Ad1948@reddit
Your momma is so fat, she's taller when she lays down!
Your momma is so nasty. She would suck my dick and then go give you a kiss goodnight.
DisrupterDaddy@reddit
Yo Momma so fat she waves her hand she takes off
OpeScuseMe74@reddit
Yo momma so fat, she went dancing and the band skipped.
Greenhaagen@reddit
Yo mama so fat that when she goes camping, the bears hide their food.
CelebrationSlow1717@reddit
Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it says “One at a time please”.
Yo mama so fat she can’t even jump to conclusions.
Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow coat people yell “TAXI!”
Eve_In_Chains@reddit
My son and I tell each other yo mama jokes all the time. His grandma is not very amused
Almost_Infamous@reddit
You momma is so ugly that the whole world faked a pandemic to make her cover her face.
Jekyll_1886@reddit
Yo mama is so fat that when she hauls ass she's gotta make 2 trips.
Yo mama was so fat that when you were 10 she took her belt off to hit you and it didn't hit you until you were 21.
babyrobotman@reddit
Yo Mommas so ugly, her blowjobs count as anal
supacrispy@reddit
To mama so fat, she walked in front of the TV, I missed six seasons.
Akovsky87@reddit
Yo mama so fat her belt size is equator
JollyTartan@reddit
She needs a boomerang to put her belt on
AuthorizedVehicle@reddit
She irons her pants in the driveway
nakaimas@reddit
Yo momma so stupid, she took the Pepsi Challenge and chose Jif
lonewolf_fenrir@reddit
Yo mama so fat her nickname is “Damn” Yo mama so fat her thighs have their own zip codes Yo mama so fat when she hauls ass it takes 4 trips with a dump truck
nakaimas@reddit
Yo momma so fat, she jumped up and got stuck
redshopekevin@reddit
Yo Mama is so fat all the other mamas are really worried about her health and is encouraging her to exercise and eat healthier.
SensualRarityTumblr@reddit
Yo mama so fat, she jumped up in the air and got stuck.
Yo mama so fat, on a full moon she turns into a werehouse.
Yo mama so fat, I swerved to miss her and ran out of gas.
Pitiful_Researcher14@reddit
Just like yo Mama
gfunkdave@reddit
Yo mama so fat, she got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book.
AcanthisittaWhich498@reddit
r/Angryupvote
Neurojazz@reddit
Yo momma is Saggitarius *A
RavingRationality@reddit (OP)
Yo momma got pulled into Sagittarius A* and got stuck.
RandomName39483@reddit
Yo mamma so fat she got two smaller fat women orbiting around her.
RavingRationality@reddit (OP)
Yo momma so fat she got pulled into a black hole... And got stuck.
imsowhiteandnerdy@reddit
Yo mama SO fat, that uhh, she's decided to make some life changes, get some exercise, eat right, make healthier decisions.
Azuras_Star8@reddit
Yo momma so ugly, her blow jobs count as anal.
Soakitincider@reddit
Making mom jokes ain’t easy. If it were, it’d be your mother.
ucjj2011@reddit
Yo mama so ugly, she went into a haunted house and came out with a job.
alex0166@reddit
Yo momma so fat, she on bossfights
biosphere03@reddit
Your momma so fat, health professionals are seriously concerned about her.
Hokeybogey@reddit
Yo mama so fat when I said it was chilly outside, she ran out with a spoon
healsey@reddit
The earth is flat? Naw, the earth used to be flat…until they buried yo mamma.
RavingRationality@reddit (OP)
I used to believe the Earth was round. Until you momma sat on it.
XarmtheinsaneX@reddit
Yo momma so old she got a separate entrance for black guys
RavingRationality@reddit (OP)
This is... Horrible. Upvote.
SouthernZorro@reddit
Yo Momma so fat she walked in front of my TV and I missed a whole season of Survivor.
powdered_dognut@reddit
Yo momma so fat, she was walking down the street and a cop slowed down and yelled, "Break it up!".
Feisty_Ad_8101@reddit
Yo mama is so FAT the only words she knows in the alphabet are KFC!
jumpinoutofmyflesh@reddit
Yo mama so fat yo daddy has to roll her in flour to find the wet spot.
powdered_dognut@reddit
When he was done, he rolled over 3 times and was still on her.
BuckskinRun@reddit
Yo momma so fat, when she wore a yellow dress some guy climbed in and said "Take me to the airport!"
authorinthesunset@reddit
Yo mama so old and ugly she walked into a bar and said I can't see a thing. I'll open this one.
ppardee@reddit
Yo mama's like the end piece on a loaf of bread - touched by many, wanted by none
tameone22@reddit
And only eaten by the desperate!
DocRogue2407@reddit
Are you calling me desperate? I LOVE ❤️ the end slices of a loaf. 😋😋😋
TheOriginalUnky@reddit
Yo Mama so fat she's got her own La Grange point.
iamtanji@reddit
Yo momma so old, she scolded God for doing nothing on the 7th day
CalabreseAlsatian@reddit
Yo momma so old when God said “let there be light”, she flipped the switch.
(Also works with yo momma so fat when God said “let there be light” he then had to say “so move your big butt out of the way, bitch!”)
_name_of_the_user_@reddit
Your momma so ugly, when God said let there be light and he saw her for the first time, he then created night time.
tlk0153@reddit
Yo mama is so fat, she seeks advice from sumo wrestlers on how to lose weight
ilyazhito@reddit
Yo mama is so fat that even Jabba the Hutt is ashamed of her.
TanaFey@reddit
Yo momma so fat that when she sits around the house she literally sits *around* the house
gofishx@reddit
Yo momma so fat, that she has an elevated risk of heart disease
Fredfredricksen01@reddit
Yo mama's so fat when she goes to the movies she sits next to everyone.
___HeyGFY___@reddit
Yo mama so fat she had a threesome and neither guy knew
ciberpunkt@reddit
Yo momma so fat that fell from both sides of the bed.
Atrkrupt1@reddit
Mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy poured out.
Atrkrupt1@reddit
Mama so fat she puts her belt on with a boomerang
XarmtheinsaneX@reddit
Yo momma so fat she's on both sides of the family
John_TheBlackestBurn@reddit
Yo mama is old, has no class, and has been done to death by just about everyone.
Yankee_chef_nen@reddit
Yo momma so fat when she wears a Malcom X jacket helicopters land on her back.
Brocc013@reddit
Your Mother is so corpulent that in the Battle of Five Armies she was two of them.
justmethedude@reddit
Yo mamma so stupid. But even she saw that punchline commin
ReplyNo7464@reddit
Yo Momma so big she takes 3-5 business days to arrive
PythonVyktor@reddit
Just like my momma.
drthsiao@reddit
Yo mommas so fat .. Ozempic made her gain wt.
Orange_Queen@reddit
"H.P. Lovecraft does... yo momma
"Yo momma so slutty, maiden of the Black Goat, she has been to the shrines of Irem and I dare not speak further of the blasphemous congress she indulges in the night wood."
Crimsonkayak@reddit
Yo momma’s so fat her blood type is ragu!
godleymama@reddit
She's so fat her blood type is gravy!
Tchio_Beto@reddit
Yo momma so fat, her shirt has a real polo horse.
panhandlesir@reddit
That's not what yo mama says.
puertomateo@reddit
Well done.