A friend has a trophy for being the "best thief".

Although he didn't actually win the competition...

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Sounds like he stole the show!

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“I have a trophy for being the best thief!”

“There was a thief competition?”

“No.”

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Though not in the typical format, this is a much better telling of it. I can see this as sitcom dialog I would chuckle to.

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I'd imagine that's HOW you win the competition...

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No, that’s how you get the trophy

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It fell of the back of a truck I swear