What's the female equivalent of tea-bagging called?

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DommallammaDoom@reddit

Russel Howard (British comedian) termed it Muffling.

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PsychoRocker1399@reddit

Clam Slam seems popular, but I'm partial to Snail Stamp.

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Anna Farris had a podcast where she tried to figure out the female equivalent of guys’ “bangin’/layin’ pipe/etc.”, she landed on “caving” a guy… like: “I’m gonna cave that guy’s d!ck so hard” ….hilarious.

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NonCreditableHuman@reddit

I'd let her spelunk me

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Semi-Nerdy@reddit

She's caving, you're spelunking. But if you want her to spelunk you, who am I to stand in your way. I say belay on.

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Beefpotpi@reddit

Belay that order, I think she’s got you pegged this time.

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UglyPussySlayer@reddit

She can spelunk my junk

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gneiss_gesture@reddit

"Invade my cave with your special unit!"

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DoctorGregoryFart@reddit

I think it was the Workaholics guys who came up with the opposite of "finger blasting," which is "jack blasting." So fucking funny.

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Waitsfornoone@reddit

Do you know how to contact her? Asking for a friend.

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KIDNEYST0NEZ@reddit

How can you talk about layin pipe and bangin and still sensor the word “dick”!?

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S-Fore@reddit

Hahahah… good point. Total dickhead move by me.

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ZappBrannigansLaw@reddit

Watch out the clamfam will call out all dickheads

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msnmck@reddit

I think you mean d!ckhead.

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captcraigaroo@reddit

Female version of cock blocking is beaver damming

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Lone_StreetCone@reddit

I call it clam slamming or twat swatting

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AvJd_52@reddit

Pussy in the face is what I'm familiar with?

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anominamanus@reddit

Toe tagging, toe tapping, toe dipping, lip slipping, clam surfing, beav cleaving, nose snatching

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Commercial-Name-3602@reddit

Clam bagging

Taco slamming

Vindictive vaging

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AlphaMaelstrom@reddit

My ex called it tea-cupping.

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YourAncestorIncestor@reddit

Wouldn’t that imply the teabag goes in the teacup

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ignored-yet-content@reddit

I thought it was called a "clam slam" .

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Hubbardia@reddit

Nah flappuccino makes more sense thematically

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billnowak65@reddit

Seems almost like an instrumental influence…. His repertoire on the flappucino resulted in screams of joy and a request for an encore!

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chinsedentist@reddit

The only thing in its favor is it is word play also based on a (often) caffeinated beverage.

Not in its favor: -It's a noun, not a verb -it's a made up word -it is not visually evocative as a metaphor in the way "teabagging is"

All in all it's weak just as a punch line, and completely lacks even a small fraction of the staying power that teabagging does.

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TheLaVeyan@reddit

Clam dip fits the culinary theme though, if not the beverage one. It's also hilarious.

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izanamithekorn@reddit

Rrraou@reddit

I was going to go for Snail trailing. But yours works better.

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lambchop70@reddit

I was going to say "clam dip."

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Degenerecy@reddit

As long as there's no clam sauce.

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Pkrudeboy@reddit

White or red?

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AverageDemocrat@reddit

Bearded hatchet battle

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mancer187@reddit

Always said clam stamp myself, but slam works too.

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JugdishSteinfeld@reddit

Rooty Tooty Fleshy Goochy

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pickleboo@reddit

I'm picturing the commercial where a man is wearing those fake nose and glasses as he orders at Denny's.

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Mapex@reddit

Clam slam was the more “technically” better answer. But yours made me laugh myself out of bed and now I can finally start my day loooool.

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super713@reddit

The real joke in the comments

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GroundbreakingFuel40@reddit

The real joke is in your pants.

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MrDrBelmont@reddit

We always called it "tea boxing." Some of these are amazing.

Shout out to "clam slam" and "carpet bombing!"

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evhutch@reddit

My friend calls it a Taco Drop

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Mr_Minecrafter88@reddit

That reminds me of that one obscene movie about sentient food having biracial sex with other food, voiced by Seth Rogan.

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Pomeroy-41144-TTS@reddit

What’s wrong with the good, old fashioned mustache ride?

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Zealousideal_Ad4875@reddit

Lip laying

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wigglesnarf419@reddit

Oh...that ain't nothing but a lip dip

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Rare_Cause_1735@reddit

I call it a twat squat

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FridayGeneral@reddit

That doesn't work so well since twat and squat don't rhyme.

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DisciplineNo5688@reddit

Since there are far more American English speakers in the world than British English, the American pronunciation should be the de facto standard.

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FridayGeneral@reddit

Twat to rhyme with hat is not "British" English solely, it is standard international English, and there are far more speakers of this than there are US-Americans, not that it makes any difference.

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DisciplineNo5688@reddit

International English is not a standard by any definition, although versions are being adopted for specific purposes such as diplomacy, global business, and media. To say average people are using it in numbers greater than American English is misleading at best.

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DisciplineNo5688@reddit

I’ve been around awhile, lived in many places, never ever heard it pronounced like it rhymes with hat. Always has been pronounced like it rhymes with hot.

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FridayGeneral@reddit

I’ve been around awhile, lived in many places, never ever heard it pronounced like it rhymes with hat.

Try leaving USA dumdum. The rest of the Anglosphere pronounces it to rhyme with hat.

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DisciplineNo5688@reddit

And it’s been twat shot in my world

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ShadowTsukino@reddit

They do when I read them.

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FridayGeneral@reddit

Twat rhymes with "hat", squat rhymes with "hot".

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ShadowTsukino@reddit

Twat, squat, hot, bot, rot, cot, dot, fought, brought, wrought, slot, etc. all --made in taiwan-- rhyme.. The only time I've ever heard anyone pronounce it like "hat" was on Red Dwarf.

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FridayGeneral@reddit

Twat, squat, hot, bot, rot, cot, dot, fought, brought, wrought, slot, etc. all rhyme when I say them.

You need to work on your diction. There are three different vowel sounds in your above words:

Twat rhymes with "fat"
Cot/squat/dot/slot rhymes with "hot"
Fought/brought/wrought rhyme with "fort".

The only time I've ever heard anyone pronounce it like "hat" was on Red Dwarf.

Yes, because the actors on Red Dwarf are classically trained, so they pronounce things correctly.

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ninjacow2003@reddit

in what crazy bizarro world does fought rhyme with fort?

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Dependent-Play-9092@reddit

It's an alliteration.

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FridayGeneral@reddit

Example A: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AL8chWFuM-s

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fugazzzzi@reddit

In a shithole country

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ngetch@reddit

I thought it didn't rhyme in the usa?

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Evening-Tomatillo-47@reddit

English speaking ones?

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ShadowTsukino@reddit

Lol, no. Fought, brought, and wrought do not sound like fort, brort, or wrort.

And twat goes into your second bullet, same as your third, since all of those words rhyme.

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FridayGeneral@reddit

Lol, no. Fought, brought, and wrought do not sound like fort, brort, or wrort.

They do in standard English. Obviously there will be some regional dialects where pronunciations differ. However this is an international subreddit so we use international conventions.

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SparlockTheGreat@reddit

Oof. Your colonialism is showing.

This subreddit does not police people's pronunciation. Regardless, American English is significantly more common than Received Pronunciation, so if we're going to use international conventions, we should probably be using American English (to be specific, the general dialect used in media and news).

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hungryrenegade@reddit

Uhhh... they do in American English

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FridayGeneral@reddit

Maybe so, but this is an international subreddit, so you should use the international pronunciation. This isn't /r/jokesUSA.

Twat rhymes with "hat", squat rhymes with "hot".

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Asteroth6@reddit

I’ll never adjust my jokes to match the lingo of someone so absolutely frothing stupid he thinks “twat squat” can’t work since it doesn’t rhyme like “tea” and “bagging” do.

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FridayGeneral@reddit

I didn't say it "can't work", did I. Learn to read.

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Moppo_@reddit

The thing is, they almost rhyme, which makes it sound like a failed rhyme, even when it isn't.

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_InvertedEight_@reddit

Ohhh, I see - you're mispronouncing the word. https://youtube.com/shorts/2nGFAOMfN30?si=nLC_dqFHq7_AOH58

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ChrisPJ@reddit

https://youtu.be/v8TKFt3p6Dg?si=bs6HuPcvyU3TmkzT&t=14s

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thugarth@reddit

Well, I've learned something.

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Evening-Tomatillo-47@reddit

You're not saying it properly then. Twat rhymes with cat

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strungup@reddit

Do you think “tea” rhymes with “bagging?”

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rickyg_79@reddit

McMurray is a piece of shit

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Imtinyrick22@reddit

Mrs. McMurray though…

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Vimes-NW@reddit

Bonnie fucking McMirray.... 🥹

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Timely_Astronomer306@reddit

Asphyxiation if she’s doing it right

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CariadocThorne@reddit

Most of the female gamers I know call it "clam-slamming" or just don't bother and still calling "teabagging", but I've heard a ton of variations over the years.

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Llamaalarmallama@reddit

Mayhaps a clunge plunge?

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Chaspatm@reddit

Getting Clammed Or Clamming

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loselmuh@reddit

In Sweden we call it "snailing" (snigla)

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SamSquatch6969@reddit

Dropping the curtains?

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transcendentbyozzie@reddit

if men keep stuff for the spank bank do women keep stuff for the rub club?

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gtr06@reddit

Lemme rub out an egg

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deleted_by_reddit@reddit

[removed]

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Disastrous_Pear6473@reddit

And we always head to the club right before we fall asleep for some reason. No idea why. I don’t make the rules

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Brrringsaythealiens@reddit

Speaking solely for a friend, yes.

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sophrocynic@reddit

Finally, someone's asking the real questions.

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transcendentbyozzie@reddit

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT2ftNVPX/

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rojoshow13@reddit

I was going to go with the direct and uncreative, roast beef bagging.

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Jakey0_0-9191@reddit

But a flap wipe first!

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bigbadbizkit420@reddit

It's called a Twat Squat

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Justa_Dee123@reddit

What does tea bagging mean

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No-Win8174@reddit

I call it a flap slap

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Murderkiss@reddit

Swooshing the curtains

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toriemm@reddit

If you were a bird, it would be the cloaca quaka.

But r/birdsarentreal

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Sheperd_Commander@reddit

Carpet-bombing, mayhaps.

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artsybrigadier@reddit

My spouse replied with the same when I told them the joke!

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Lanster27@reddit

This is great on so many levels.

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True_Response_4788@reddit

Tbh I haven’t seen any shag or wall to wall in ages. They all seem to go for little area rugs now.

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Lanster27@reddit

Downsizing due to the economy.

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Mastore84@reddit

This is the one I've heard, too.

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kooksies@reddit

Rump dump, flap slap, clit sit, flounder lounger, clam slam, queef seat, ova sofa, gyats mask, coochie cushion

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toriemm@reddit

Alright, we found the professional, holy shit

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NarrowBrain8039@reddit

Had to think about this joke before I got it.

But when I did I fappachinoed

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aeoden34@reddit

I would have said a "claim clubbin'". Clam slam works too, though.

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DaithiGruber@reddit

Staying with the hot drink theme...

Flappuccino

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jkpirat@reddit

Clit lipping.

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hooldon@reddit

Nice! You saw the same yeahmadtv clip on instagram as me. I think we’re Eskimo brothers now

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brokeneggomelet@reddit

Former female coworkers called it a tw@+ swat.

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HyrulianSavior@reddit

I always laughed at "snail trail".

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Haki23@reddit

My wife felt we should call it a "tea cozy"

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SkeletalBellToller@reddit

Lip smack

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Celtic_MezzoForte@reddit

Nope it’s called a clam slam

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towehaal@reddit

I always used that one as an alternative to sausage party.

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uberbeetle@reddit

Thought that was technically a Clam Bake?

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geedman@reddit

Iron curtain?

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Logic_Nom@reddit

Give'em the ol' flap slap!

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Hamfistedlovemachine@reddit

I’m guessing mud flapping.

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ValuableAd3808@reddit

More like Thud Flapping

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Agreen2511@reddit

I can show you what it looks like https://a.co/d/4F9Krln

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Kimchi_Shadow@reddit

The FUPA Flop

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Vimes-NW@reddit

How do you say 'bra' in German?

Keepsemfromflappen

How do you say 'virgin' in German?

Gutentite

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360walkaway@reddit

Face-sitting, and it is welcomed.

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honjuden@reddit

Lowering the curtain.

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Geekfest65@reddit

It’s simply a “face ride”.

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Geekfest65@reddit

It’s simply a “face ride”.

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Geekfest65@reddit

It’s simply a “face ride”.

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lriley777@reddit

I've always heard of it as Hot-Pocketing

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lriley777@reddit

I've always heard of it as Hot-Pocketing 🫠

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Abrahms_4@reddit

I call it a Taco Stamp

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Much_Razzmatazz_5022@reddit

i don't understand can someone make me understand please

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Hillary_is_Hot@reddit

stop being 12 please.

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Working_Client6133@reddit

Men are perpetually 12. We will not comply.

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Hillary_is_Hot@reddit

i like to say “it was the 12 year old in me” while chuckling like butthead

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PunkRawkSoldier@reddit

Please tell me what the deleted comment was.

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Hillary_is_Hot@reddit

asked for someone to explain, in a really immature way

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Mrtripps@reddit

You're likely enjoyable at shin-digs.

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PolebagEggbag@reddit

99% sure this is another Gary Delaney joke passed off in this sub.

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FatherGoose70@reddit

Bonus if she can pick up a dime off the floor

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traumaortho@reddit

It’s called a clam slam

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madwblues@reddit

Great now I’m thirsty…

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Flippyfloppyjalopy@reddit

Clam dip

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MHJ03@reddit

Dammit. You made me LOL. 😂

Take your upvote and move along…

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grantm06@reddit

I used to call it Taco Tappin’

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dilallio01@reddit

One slip up away from a crappuccino

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Fitter419@reddit

Depending on the week it could be a bloody Mary

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Nuclear-poweredTaxi@reddit

It’s a roast beef sandwich.

maybe it used to be clams way back in my 20’s.

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suite4k@reddit

I am thinking meat curtains

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scarybyte@reddit

Clit-dipping, of course

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smittyblackstone@reddit

The cootchie cotillion!

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No-Method@reddit

I call it a "taco drop"

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DenikaMae@reddit

Pretty certain that was snail trailing.

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okcwey390f@reddit

Muff marking Beaver bites

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termerthe@reddit

The good ol’ snail trail

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Jacrispy1376@reddit

I'm personally fond of taco touchdown

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deadonthei@reddit

There is no female equivalent of tea bagging as it requires testicles or at the very least external genitals.

Maybe a beef curtain beat down

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ericdavis1240214@reddit

Tell me you've never gone down on a woman without telling me you've never gone down on a woman.

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deadonthei@reddit

I have it was just your mom that I REFUSED.

Just because of how bad your mothers pussy smelled but that is not surprising when that is where pieces of shit like you come from. You left a foul smelling shit streak on the way out. Not to mention she blames you for the curtains. The whole thing was a disgusting mess. Tell her to call me sometime though.

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Walking tacod em

Camel kissed ‘em

Clam kissed em

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