"Therefore," said the minister, "if anyone knows why these two may not lawfully be joined in Holy Matrimony, you must now speak, or else forever hereafter hold your peace."

Into the customary silence there dropped the *click* of a pair of lady's shoes on the stone tiles of the aisle. Everyone turned to see the beautiful young woman with a small infant in her arms walking forward from the back of the church. The hush became deeper. The bride burst into tears and slapped the groom across the face. The bride's mother gave a despairing wail and collapsed in a dead faint. The bride's father gave a snort like an enraged bull, tore off his jacket and handed it to the matron of honour, and balled his sizeable fists. The groomsmen looked from one to another in confusion, while the groom himself could only stare in stunned disbelief. The minister croaked hoarsely, "What is it, young lady?" "---Could you turn your microphone on, please? We can't hear at the back," she said softly.