Wife: I love you. Husband: Is that you or the wine talking?

Wife: It’s me talking. To the wine.

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The wine is much more trustworthy anyways

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Punchline suggestion:

Wife: I love you.

Husband: Whoa! Is that you or the wine talking?

Wife: Shut up, you idiot. I'm talking to the wine here

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A rare occurance of the best joke not being in the comments (in my opinion naturally). OPs version has subtlety.

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"How do I love thee? Let me count the positions." Elizabeth Barrett Horny.

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Reddit always fucks up the classics

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Another Prairie Home Companion classic.

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What type is it, husband asks. Fat Bastard, came the reply. No need to be rude husband says.