I told my daughter, "go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field."
Posted by Penguin-Monk@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 34 comments
She asked, "what's that got to do with anything?"
I said, "that means it's pasture bedtime."
tatertaunt@reddit
How did the farmer count his cattle?
With a cow-culator.
BioletVeauregarde33@reddit
And what did he keep track of all his cows on? A catalyst.
Reefay@reddit
You should post this in /r/cleandadjokes
freelance-t@reddit
Reminds me of my favorite bedtime book…
The cats nestle close to their kittens, The lambs lay down with the sheep. You’re cozy and warm in your bed my dear, Now please, go the **** to sleep.
Spaceinpigs@reddit
The windows are dark in the town, child
DueSatisfaction8123@reddit
A great fucking book!
Dizzy-Bake9587@reddit
…probably not the place to cop to having sex with your farm animals…
DaleInTacoma@reddit
If not reddit, where?
Abdul_Exhaust@reddit
Don't repeat this joke... I herd you the 1st time
Pitchblackimperfect@reddit
Repost it, I dairy ya
weekedipie1@reddit
He's gonna milk this on an udder post
mikestorm@reddit
Did you hear it through the bovine?
Dizzy-Bake9587@reddit
…to err is human to moo bovine…
AverageDemocrat@reddit
Is that from Romeoo and Mooliette?
Greedy_Ask_8058@reddit
Ok, this is getting udderly ridiculous
classof78@reddit
What this joke needs is more cowbell!
bestsmithfam@reddit
I'm Walken out after that one. You've milked it for all it's worth.
Evening-Tomatillo-47@reddit
I think that's the cream of the puns
furyshuai@reddit
can some explain it,English is not my first language
Sabre_Stryke@reddit
If you say "past your" quickly, it sounds like "pasture", as in where cows live
SmarS_the_Blind@reddit
Thank you, English is my first language and I didn't understand it.
marie6045@reddit
You're all just milking this.
NateNaddell@reddit
Yeah, it’s time to moooove on
Sunastar@reddit
That was so good that I read it to my wife. She groaned at a solid 4 out of 5.
lavassls@reddit
My wife shook her head in disappointment.
yooperann@reddit
It was so good I read it to my husband. His groan was only about a 1 out of 5.
ishook@reddit
They deserve a good rest. They were all outstanding in their field.
R3D3-1@reddit
That the most literal r/dadjokes material I've seen in a while 😅
NotThisShipSister@reddit
Besides, the sooner his daughter gets to sleep, the sooner he can get to doing that thing til the cows come home.
forbinwasright@reddit
I was planning to comment on this post, but I don't want to steer the conversation 's direction. Ultimately, I have no beef with this.
Awkward_Pangolin3254@reddit
But dad I'm not in the mooooooood
DueSatisfaction8123@reddit
Udderly dumb, but mooving
mikestorm@reddit
Aaand I'm using this on my 11-year-old son tonight.
Karamazov1880@reddit
“But daddy, there’s one in your bed!”