Why did Elon Musk divorce his wife?
Posted by MarvinLazer@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 97 comments
He heard marriage is a union.
Posted by MarvinLazer@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 97 comments
He heard marriage is a union.
Superb-Bank9899@reddit
He has a baby with another woman
MarvinLazer@reddit (OP)
More correct but way less funny.
Superb-Bank9899@reddit
I don't know, lots of people hate unions, but few people have something like 13 kids with all different women.
SyMag@reddit
Because he has a thing for Xs
GatotSubroto@reddit
Why did Elon Musk move his companies to Texas?
Because he wants all his X’s in Texas
SJ_Redditor@reddit
The one star state, for a one star company
EnvironmentalGift257@reddit
It’s not a flag it’s a rating
mikeyridesit@reddit
Ok. I know this is an joke. But damn did it make me snort with laughter when I read it.
Old_Rabbit3071@reddit
Mission accomplished!!
EnvironmentalGift257@reddit
It’s an oldie but goodie
Haunting-Ad-8580@reddit
And that's why he hangs his hat in Tennessee
Jonno_FTW@reddit
He literally built a compound in Texas for his exes and children.
lew_rong@reddit
Shit, I wouldn't wish cancer of the musk glands on Tennessee, no matter how badly they aren't Texas.
shadowwalker789@reddit
Nah. That botched penis surgery he had so he can only use IVF. I’ll give you a baby lol.
Codex1101@reddit
Did he go in for a lengthening or a widening?
Cuprous-Metal@reddit
Lengthening but the penis rejected him
ivanmor@reddit
This, this is the punchline it needed.
frowawayduh@reddit
He told her "I need more space."
Liquor_N_Whorez@reddit
Leave it to him to have a fetish for Xgasms
Woodentit_B_Lovely@reddit
Because he's a walking bag of possum shit?
eldiablonoche@reddit
A bag of possum shit who was in so tight with Epstein that his wife left him because of it...
Oh wait, wrong billionaire... that was Bill Gates.
spaceraverdk@reddit
Dude, remember, 80% of the site is Cali. and you know what the saying is of cali.
eldiablonoche@reddit
They're a bigger dumpster fire than their wildfires? 😂
spaceraverdk@reddit
If it leans more left, it's going to crack off the continental plate and disappear in the Pacific.
NotYourFakeName@reddit
Well, then it could float away to join the places in the world that actually are left leaning, unlike California.
Centrist, at most.
eldiablonoche@reddit
"Centrist at most".
LMAO. The pretense that "my side is in the middle" is hilarious. California is as "centrist" as Texas or Florida is "centrist".
There isn't a "left" position that ruling elitists in California don't hold. They may not be able to force everything through but their feckless nature doesn't make them not lefties.
NotYourFakeName@reddit
That just goes to show how clueless you are of anything outside of the US.
The Democrats aren't "my side."
Canada's federal Liberal Party is centre left, maybe moderate left at most.
California is significantly to the right of those Liberals.
Canada's federal NDP party is left of the Liberals, but still not far left. They'd still make your head explode, if you think California is "far left."
Your Overton window is so fucked and unbalanced, you have no frame of reference to even begin discussing left wing politics.
eldiablonoche@reddit
So if California is "significantly to the right" of centre left, what major leftist positions do they NOT hold?
I think your Overton window is the one that is terribly fucked up; just out of curiosity, where would you say the Republicans or Canadian Conservatives land? For ease, lets use a 0-10 scale where 0 is left as left can be and 10 is right as right can be.
Wolvenmoon@reddit
Possums are great. They eat blood sucking insects that spread disease and turn them into fertilizer.
Musk is just an extremely engorged tick.
Woodentit_B_Lovely@reddit
Plus they know when to play dead
AsleepAd2238@reddit
What did a bag of possum shit ever do to you to compare it to musk?? lol lol 😂🤣😂🤣. Honestly calling him that was being very very kind.
Fasting_Fashion@reddit
Then can we agree on elongated muskrat?
AsleepAd2238@reddit
lol lol. That is a good one lol lol
Daegog@reddit
Maybe he is like his hold man and waiting for a step daughter to be of age?
mariehelena@reddit
Ugh. No.
He's many things, but it's clear that wretched situation was hell for his mother + his siblings too and there's lasting resentment.
Giannis_ticky243@reddit
It wasn't named B7291 (not a planet just for a joke)
mdlewis11@reddit
Her name didn't have ASCII characters in it?
maryannesbetter@reddit
Can someone please explain ...I don't get it
OddlySexyPancake@reddit
elon, as many capitalists does not support labor unions
maryannesbetter@reddit
Ahh! Got it. Thank you!!
Major_Sir7564@reddit
Because she isn't AI
blockpartymovement@reddit
She wouldn’t Pay a Pal
Waitsfornoone@reddit
Elon Musk has come up with a fool proof plan of destroying Apple because they refuse to advertise on Twitter.
He plans to buy it.
lew_rong@reddit
How do you make a small fortune? Give a conservative a big one.
Amarules@reddit
Because he wanted t'witter and no she's his X.
Hero_of_Thyme81@reddit
He couldn't handle the grit and grimes of marriage.
gruffDragon@reddit
Man, it’s going to be ride. The next four years that is…
celestialmechanic@reddit
He wanted to rename her $?@!}a&+3.
thejuva@reddit
False, because there’s no X’s in the name.
acab__1312@reddit
Unrealistic, there's no x's in it.
thatguywithawatch@reddit
It would be pronounced "Emily"
Julianbrelsford@reddit
After the end of their relationship, Elon asked politely if Grimes would consider renaming herself "archdemon" since it'd fit well with their son's name and all.
Top-Salamander-2525@reddit
The crazy thing is I’m not sure if this is real or a joke.
durtysanch@reddit
Would sound better with Jeff Bezos
g0ingb0ing@reddit
X..x..x..
GrumpyOldTech1670@reddit
Because, after X amount of marriages, he finally found the love of his life...
Problem is no-one can work out if it is orange or himself..
spaceraverdk@reddit
Living rent free in your heads. 😂
Healthy_Ladder_6198@reddit
Sigh this could be true
t-60@reddit
Because hiring guy with H-1b visa is cheaper way for doing his wive than using himself
BerserkPotato@reddit
Feels like a Reddit joke :/
Shyam_Kumar_m@reddit
He wanted to start with X
Wicked-Chomps@reddit
Because he got caught cheating in PoE 2?
AwakeNowAwakeNow@reddit
this is the joke of the millennium
Notgoodatthis13@reddit
He is a level 96 but she's only level 62
GrumpyOldTech1670@reddit
He asked for a 69, and she 86ed him..
ohleprocy@reddit
The old 86 when you're trying to 69 eyyy. There's nothing worse I tells ya, nothing worse.
GrumpyOldTech1670@reddit
Yes, (in full Agent Maxwell Smart accent) he missed it..by that much.
Groundbreaking_Fly36@reddit
just trying to keep his kids' lineup diverse
mbpeters13@reddit
She didn't have enough things.
GrumpyOldTech1670@reddit
Surgeons celebrate today as they have successfully found a billionaire's brain in the lower half of the billionaire's body.
This confirms why billionaires can be a dickhead and an asshole at the same time. It also explains why they fail to see further than their noses, have common brain farts, denial of their shit stinking & they talk so much regurgitated shit.
Bezos, Zuckerberg, Musk were unavailable to comment at this time.
Successful-Walk-6262@reddit
he he he. Those are my pronouns. I identify as a jokester
SutMinSnabelA@reddit
He was too busy paying people to play his path of exile account.
GrumpyOldTech1670@reddit
After 5 marriages and 16 kids, he has finally worked out...he is omnisexual.
He has to fuck everyone and everything..
Hazywater@reddit
Dammit, I can't think of a joke. There must be something here about Musk hiring someone to fuck his wife for him so he has higher ranking.
GrumpyOldTech1670@reddit
She was DTF, and he can only fuck up.. everything?
CurrentlyLucid@reddit
She got mad he was fucking the rest of the world.
GrumpyOldTech1670@reddit
Top answer.. Take my upvote.
Careflwhatyouwish4@reddit
Not in Elon's house. That's a limited partnership with a silent partner. Otherwise just buy them out and regain your peace. 🤣🤣🤣
imsowhiteandnerdy@reddit
Because she couldn't stand him.
TSiQ1618@reddit
because he's he has to put an X on everything
alice456123@reddit
Becase she bit his coin too much
scaur@reddit
Because his wife had an affair with his pilot , his POE2 pilot.
meeyaoon@reddit
She dumped his ass... And now her ex is in Texas.
DubRunKnobs29@reddit
Because he’s Boring Company
MarvinLazer@reddit (OP)
LOL I love how many great punchlines there are to this. 🤣
TheSunderedThrone@reddit
He found her Elony Fans
Crazyguy199096@reddit
This would've been even funnier with Bezos
Portland_st@reddit
That’s…that’s pretty good.
Big_Bri_Guzzi@reddit
He wanted to wait until the journey to Mars, then she'd be his Space Ex.
BloodOdd9913@reddit
Oh I thought it was because she made fun of his little toy rocket.
captnlenox@reddit
Maybe because she is better at PoE than him
jonesey71@reddit
Not sure she could be worse.
AccomplishedHold4645@reddit
Because a 13-year-old gamer on X said she was cringe.
Ogodei@reddit
After the first night, she woke with a virus.
AhhAGoose@reddit
He didn’t, she left him because he got another girl pregnant via IVF while she was also in the middle of an IVF treatment
TheMaskedDeuce@reddit
As always, the real joke is in the title.
lawlietskyy@reddit
She couldn't stand Elons Musk?