What do beer and pussy have in common? | TheaterFire

What do beer and pussy have in common?

Posted by superalpaka@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 138 comments

After the third, they all taste the same ...

[-]

fifi_twerp@reddit

Both appreciate good head.

[-]

volcanicnight@reddit

I've only tried one kind in my life.

[-]

Spiritual_Board9112@reddit

Imports are better than domestic

[-]

Elephant-Opening@reddit

TIL the Belgian Trappists do in fact have nuns lol

[-]

EmveePhotography@reddit

Your boss will frown when consumed at work.

[-]

jonny24eh@reddit

Sometimes a sly one at lunch is okay

[-]

EmveePhotography@reddit

Both are served alcohol free, so why not?

[-]

jonny24eh@reddit

Nah, full strength, of both, please.

[-]

EmveePhotography@reddit

Go see a doctor if she leaves you with a beer mustache.

[-]

Optomisticposter@reddit

Both will spray if you bang them hard enough 🤣

[-]

Optomisticposter@reddit

Both can give you long term medical conditions.

[-]

Optomisticposter@reddit

Plenty of yeast involved ;-)

[-]

Optomisticposter@reddit

Both have a lot of tax attached 🤣

[-]

PieAny2246@reddit

Acquired taste

[-]

Eastern-Aside6@reddit

Your wife cares when you have more than one.

[-]

reasonably_insane@reddit

It's always in the comments

[-]

drowned_beliefs@reddit

The beer, or the pussy?

[-]

BoilingHot_Semen@reddit

You missed the point

[-]

drowned_beliefs@reddit

No, I didn’t. I just made a tangential point and turned a sub cliche into a joke appropriate to this particular thread.

[-]

Criscoskid@reddit

A “clit”che, so to speak

[-]

Zerosan62@reddit

I don’t even know your wife!!!!!

[-]

Tight_Syllabub9423@reddit

That's funny, she said the same thing about you.

[-]

ryhid@reddit

Damn, you have two vaginas?

[-]

LostBetsRed@reddit

This is actually a thing.

[-]

silver_snorlax@reddit

Yeah, I don't want to see where this link takes me. I just opened Reddit.

[-]

Rupertredloh@reddit

It's a wikipedia article, you're gonna be fine.

[-]

LostBetsRed@reddit

You'd be surprised. All of Wikimedia is available for download, and flipping through all of the pictures from all of the articles, it's amazing what percentage of them are NSFW.

[-]

Acrobatic_Matter_109@reddit

Are you a virgin Redditor? I say risk it; go in deep. You might surprise yourself. (Best to have a sick bowl handy, though.)

[-]

EmveePhotography@reddit

Please look up Uterus didelphys, to learn something relevant here. :)

[-]

danbiarod@reddit

extraterrestrial vagina

[-]

gtr06@reddit

Unidentified flying olva

[-]

Wrestling_poker@reddit

I wanted to upvote but it’s at 69.

[-]

upsetmojo@reddit

And you better not go out to get more…

[-]

Yaguajay@reddit

Yep. No extra beer, no extra pussy.

[-]

MisterMasterCylinder@reddit

I never get either for free

[-]

Wraice@reddit

Well, I guess I should at least be glad I work for a small brewery and we get to take home product after packaging. Typically just a 6 pack, but occasionally we have extras of 12 packs or something and get those. 😆

[-]

Cold_Table8497@reddit

No such thing as a free munch.

[-]

Nobanob@reddit

I mean I would disagree on this one. I've used Reddit on a different account on a very different subreddit to find free munch. There is a whole subreddit exclusively dedicated towards offering to be munched or to munch another.

[-]

Satanae444@reddit

I woke up my toddler with the cackle that left my body

[-]

Haelstrom101@reddit

Really? Not even at a party?

[-]

MrRubin97@reddit

They both give you liquid.

[-]

Cauchy_Riemann@reddit

And I was wondering what pussy got to do with bear

[-]

Uk-reddit-user@reddit

My wife gets pissy when I want to taste her sisters.

[-]

Mbs3@reddit

They both foam at the mouth...

[-]

Ok-Photoman76@reddit

You can’t have just one.

[-]

One-Yellow1504@reddit

Pussy only tasted like piss for a minute

[-]

_jerrycan_@reddit

What does a cigarette and pussy have in common?

Closer to the butt you get, the worse it tastes

[-]

Several-Drag@reddit

Taint that the truth

[-]

LetsGo351@reddit

Best when packed tight

[-]

Several-Drag@reddit

Yeasty wasn’t for nuthin

[-]

IamChwisss@reddit

You don't get either with a newborn in the house?

[-]

stainhunter@reddit

I don't enjoy the foam

[-]

natty1212@reddit

Yeast has a big effect on flavor?

[-]

TheCheshirreFox@reddit

Just take my upvote and leave

[-]

_onestep_onetime_@reddit

Came here just for that comment

[-]

Muvseevum@reddit

You probably don’t like your first taste of either one.

[-]

GDaddyBee@reddit

Nonalcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries. It fills you up but no buzz

[-]

Bee2113@reddit

How are the dry ones? Never had.

[-]

XROOR@reddit

Yeast makes them taste better

[-]

owyeh@reddit

The smell may depend to the beholder:)

[-]

WuufTheBika@reddit

Alcohol free beer is like going down on your sister.

It tastes the same but it just feels wrong.

[-]

bigshot316@reddit

Why did I think this was gonna be something about yeast?..

[-]

BitterNinja123@reddit

BOTH NEED A GOOD GRIP

[-]

Karl-Hof@reddit

absolutely incorrect: neither...nor

[-]

gunnlaug1@reddit

I can save the taste of both in my moustache

[-]

oxXRagnaroekXxo@reddit

Isn't that the whole point of a mustache?

[-]

Acrobatic_Matter_109@reddit

Some people can't handlebar it.

[-]

TheGeekiestGuy@reddit

Both taste better when you're drunk?

[-]

bug2th@reddit

Both have blonds, reds and ambers.

[-]

WikiWantsYourPics@reddit

If it leaks on your mattress, you'll smell it forever.

[-]

CIAlien@reddit

If you blows in hard enough it spills.

[-]

gthm159@reddit

It's not quite the same the next day

[-]

raven21633x@reddit

I know what LIGHT beer has in common with pussy.

They both taste like piss and have a Busch.

[-]

AlgerianLantis@reddit

It feels better when you grab the container by the neck.

[-]

cheska192@reddit

Something about yeast I think

[-]

TheLugh@reddit

Both are better when they start with good head.

[-]

herti_bln@reddit

What is the difference of a pussy and alcohol free beer?

Pussy tastes like piss only in the beginning.

[-]

AssistantGullible308@reddit

Something dirty having either in the morning

[-]

The-Great-Calvino@reddit

I’m in trouble if I come home stinking of either one of

[-]

Cooter1mb@reddit

I can't afford either

[-]

Yung_Lyun@reddit

You wouldn't put your mouth on either after you have came inside them.

[-]

YoyoOfDoom@reddit

I don't know, I've never wanted to put my dick in a beer.

[-]

Yung_Lyun@reddit

First time for everything.

[-]

BitterNinja123@reddit

Both can maul you, if not careful

[-]

Ben716@reddit

Both taste better cold.

[-]

Feeling_Act360@reddit

Pussy only tastes like piss for the 1st couple seconds

[-]

dimmu1313@reddit

unless she's a squirter

[-]

Boomerraze247@reddit

Both get foamed if you move on it too quick

[-]

dimmu1313@reddit

that's actually pretty gross

[-]

tourbox12@reddit

What's the difference between eating pussy and bud lite? Pussy stops tasting like piss after a minute.

[-]

dimmu1313@reddit

unless they're a squirter.

[-]

Far-Floor1483@reddit

I don't like hair on them

[-]

WolfWomb@reddit

They both cause babies

[-]

mrureaper@reddit

Some of them taste like piss

[-]

4519023059289882@reddit

Both are great followed up by a snack and nap lol

[-]

Desperado2583@reddit

My wife is constantly counting up how many I've had.

[-]

Beef-Stuart@reddit

They get gross if there is too much yeast at the bottom.

Both of them leave your dick soft after a long session.

Sometimes they get foamy upon entering

I enjoy them both more when they start with a little head

Both are illegal when underage

[-]

Key_Leading_3014@reddit

To much of both and you could lose your house

[-]

blakblakblak@reddit

I can stick my dick in a pussy?

[-]

dope_as_the_pope@reddit

They taste better when you don’t have to pay for them

[-]

RedX2000@reddit

The fresher the better

[-]

Alexkintnersghost@reddit

Both are best enjoyed if consumed prior to expiration date.

[-]

Upstairs_Olive_1827@reddit

I have to drive to town to get some….?

[-]

Direct_Big_5436@reddit

What’s the difference between an IPA beer and a clitoris?

The clitoris only taste like piss at the start.

[-]

Direct_Big_5436@reddit

I read that as bear the first time, so I was pretty confused.

[-]

Bell359@reddit

Everyone has a preference, but they’ll take what’s on tap.

[-]

Charming_Patient@reddit

If done right. They both can squirt

[-]

tarett@reddit

I got fired from the deli for licking the meat slicer. She got promoted to senior meat slicer!

[-]

KarmicTractor@reddit

Neither taste like fish is properly prepared.

[-]

wesmess14@reddit

I still prefer IPAs. I may drink a Belgium, but not really anything else.

[-]

klaxor@reddit

That is really untrue… there’s been some REAAALLY tart- um, “beers” since my third one.

[-]

Brovigil@reddit

A little yeast is okay, but you shouldn't be able to taste it.

[-]

vbt2021@reddit

The only two things that really matter?

[-]

Conquistador1901@reddit

One is good with froth on it & icy cold, the other not so much.

[-]

gerryf19@reddit

Oh crap...which is the good one?

[-]

Conquistador1901@reddit

Suck it & see, different people different taste.

[-]

Snorkelbender@reddit

You’d step over your own mother just to get one!

[-]

RogerPackinrod@reddit

Anyone who thinks this joke is funny has neither drank beer or eaten pussy

[-]

Tight-Operation-27@reddit

Sometimes they’re gross

[-]

Granite66@reddit

Both foam when agitated.

[-]

Damien1972@reddit

You can tap them both.

[-]

Muted-Valuable-1699@reddit

Whatˋs the difference between a Bud and a pussy?

A Pussy tastes like pee only for a few seconds.

[-]

Duneyman@reddit

I like mine with a bit of head.

[-]

Acawaz@reddit

They can both come in bottles?

[-]

ArachnidGuilty218@reddit

You can have one or the other when you get home but not both. One you pop open and the other you crack open.

[-]

Ed_Ward_Z@reddit

both will get you drunk.

[-]

RevBayes@reddit

What’s the difference between parsley and pussy? Nobody eats parsley.

[-]

Grolschisgood@reddit

I want them more than I get either

[-]

skinkiana@reddit

I thought it was going to be some yeast joke

[-]

tlp357@reddit

They are both wet and some taste better than others.

[-]

from-the-stix@reddit

Ewwwww. Take my upvote 😂

[-]

Lanky_Restaurant_482@reddit

Gosh I love a good IPA

[-]

TreyKhan@reddit

Both are dangerous to indulge in while driving

[-]

RedPankaj@reddit

Both taste not so good but you can’t really leave them once you’ve started.

[-]

Speadraser@reddit

Both are better with head

[-]

FlappingHeck@reddit

They both make you pay in the morning!

[-]

Ok_Diamond_5977@reddit

Ain't that the truth

[-]

RonConComa@reddit

It's cheap beer and pussy.... In the beginning both taste a bit like piss...