A guy goes to the doctor.....

Posted by cikanman@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 18 comments

He isn't feeling well so the doctor runs some tests. After all the test doc comes back and says "Good news we know what the problem is and we have medication for you. Bad news is the medication only comes in a suppository and it needs to be taken every 4 hours. I'll put the first one in now and then have your wife help you this evening."

The guy goes home and explains everything to his wife, she's reluctant to help but agrees to do so. At the 4 hour mark they head upstairs, he drops his pants and bends over. His wife puts the suppository in causing her husband to start screaming, startled she says " OH my God I'm sorry did I hurt you?" Husband replies "No it wasn't you, after you put it in I realized when the doctor put it in he placed BOTH hands on my shoulders."

[-]

gpatoall@reddit

True story .. I was like 20?? and had went to my GP due to blood in my stool ( in a commode a lil blood looks like u have lost all u have in ur body ). He asked me to drop my trousers and bend over suggesting that I lean against an exam table in the room. So with my backside exposed he did his thing and determined that I had a fissure causing my blood loss, but he didn’t disclose this to me at that time. During the exam I heard his beeper ( yes a beeper .. it was over 40 yrs ago ) go off, and shortly there after he hustles out of the room. Thinking that he would soon return, I was determined to not give him the pleasure of asking me to lower my pants again to resume the examination. Shortly there after I hear the door open and then like 3 seconds later I hear his nurse 👩‍⚕️ tell me that I can pull up my pants😱in that the doc had left to go deliver a baby! So yeh .. I got that going for me!

[-]

star_359@reddit

I still laugh at this one. My son got super constipated when he was young, I think like 5 or 6. We’re at the doctor because he never told me he wasn’t pooping and was crying about his stomach hurting so I’m not even thinking poop (which is stupid of me).

Doctor suggests a suppository, I’m asking about liquid laxatives but my son interrupts and will gladly take the suppository. We were both surprised but OK. I even said “it needs to go in your bum, you know that right?” He says yes. So we get home and I tell him to pull his pants down and bend over and up it goes. As soon as I get it inside his butt, he lurches forward and is like “Aaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!” Little dude is like traumatized, I’m standing there going “I don’t understand, I told you it had to go in your butt???”

He thought I meant it had to be snuggled nicely between his bum cheeks and absorbed through the skin. He went into the bathroom and was crying these big tears while he pushed out his monster poop. I felt so bad for him but the whole thing was just so comical too. Now he laughs about how he thought “in your bum” was just in your bum cheeks. 🤣

[-]

Herr-Pyxxel@reddit

When I was little my mum used to call them bum bonbons, saying that my bum loves then and made sucking noises, just to put me at ease when she inserted them. I'll never forget it!

[-]

Dependent-Play-9092@reddit

Has anyone ever had their wife or girlfriend insert a suppository that they could have done themselves?

If so, what the hell is wrong with you?

[-]

nookane@reddit

Mine shaves my ass, she'd probably take the next step

[-]

couldntyoujust@reddit

Not an anal suppository, but my ex-wife when we were engaged had a yeast infection and was having trouble handling the applicator while it was inside her vagina, so she asked me to do it.

I was totally happy to help her - yeah because I cared - but also because I made creampie jokes to put her at ease, made moaning noises as I injected the applicator, etc. She thought it was hilarious. I won some brownie points that way.

She in turn liked to pop my back-zits, so she did that occasionally. We tried as much as possible to take care of each other's bodies.

[-]

PromiscuousScoliosis@reddit

I’m a male nurse and I have put suppositories in grown ass men (who are allegedly straight) that they 100% could have damn well put in themselves.

People get a helplessness complex sometimes.

[-]

12altoids34@reddit

Funny story . When I was about seven or eight I got sick. Not like deathly ill but sick. My mom took me to the doctor and the doctor prescribed a suppository. When we got home my mom sheepishly asked me if I knew what to do with it. I laughed. I knew exactly what you do with a suppository. I was not some stupid child. And I was going to be a big kid and take care of it myself. So I went into the bathroom. And I tried. It hurt like hell, and I tried again. It hurt like hell but even worse I couldn't get it in. I don't know how many times I tried . Maybe it was as few as three or as much as five .With tears in my eyes I went out and told my mother " I can't do it, I need your help".

She looked at me with such sympathy in her eyes and said " oh honey! You have to take it out of the plastic first". Lesson learned. I guess I wasn't as smart as I thought I was.

[-]