This may not exactly qualify as tech support, but I'll give it a shot. I'll state I've been working in t/s since the mid-Eighties, so I used some valuable skills--mainly bullshitting* a client--in this situation.

The scene: A crowded bar--a good friend was dating the owner so I went with her to his bar to watch the Super Bowl. At the time this was one of the few bars with a big-screen TV, so the bar, while smaller and a little out-of-the-way, was a bit more crowded than usual, but not mind-numbingly overfilled like damn near any bar is on Super Bowl Sunday.

As it was, some idiot got hold of the only remote, and kept f'ing with the volume. Up, down, too loud, too soft....he just couldn't control it. The beer was flowing, and everyone was getting angrier and angrier at this guy, to the point I think someone (not me) was going to throw him out the window.

Fortunately, the time came when the beers took one of its effects and the guy put the remote down to head to the bathroom. The bar breathed a sigh of relief, when a thought came to me.

I picked up the remote, adjusted the volume to something reasonable, took out the batteries, put them in my pocket, and put the remote back down. I think the bar realized what was happening, because the chatter seemed to pick up a bit as he returned from the head.

After a few moments, he picked up the remote, pointed it at the TV, and was clearly pushing a button. It came time to bullshit him.

"PERFECT!" I yelled out after a moment or two, and he put the remote down.

Five minutes or so later, he picked it up, started pushing a button, and someone else had caught on: "PERFECT!" someone else yelled.

This went on for the rest of the game, with eventually damn near the entire bar yelling, "PERFECT!" after this guy picked up the remote. I returned the batteries to the bar owner sometime in the fourth quarter.

*By "bullshit a client" I don't mean lie to them. I mean play a little fast and loose with the truth to tell them what they want to hear, while doing what absolutely needs to be done to get the issue fixed. You know: The client says the problem is "X" and doesn't want to hear anything else, but you know it's "Y" and when they see you did something that wouldn't fix "X" you tell them it was actually "Y" but an adjusted setting at "X" will help prevent a recurrence. You know the drill: Ya bullshit 'em.