An irate woman burst into the baker's shop and said, " I sent my son in for two pounds of cookies this morning, but when I weighed them there was only one pound. I suggest that you check your scales." The baker looked at her calmly for a moment or two and then replied, "

Posted by no_bon3s_about_it@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 54 comments

" Ma'am, I suggest you weigh your son."

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nutralagent@reddit

Why is it if you eat a pound of cookies you do not gain a pound immediately?

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hiker1628@reddit

Is this from personal experience? Seems like you ought to gain a pound.

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nutralagent@reddit

Not cookies, but I guzzled 16 ounces of water and got on a scale and did not gain a pound? Weird…

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sygnathid@reddit

Scale has a margin of error larger than the weight difference?

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nutralagent@reddit

OK, I I had at least 16 ounces of coffee in the first half hour after I woke up this morning. I did not gain a pound and it’s a different scale. Perhaps I’m burning it off too quick …lol

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Lachiko@reddit

You did gain a pound your scales just aren't accurate enough to show it.

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Awkward_Pangolin3254@reddit

You totally would as long as you weigh yourself before you take a shit

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Gold-Comfort5185@reddit

And if scarf ‘em down really fast before you sweat or respirate away any water weight

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gilfromisrael@reddit

"Go to son -> Settings -> Privacy and disable cookies"

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monkeysuffrage@reddit

Don't blame him, it was third party cookies.

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KillaDaKlown@reddit

Cookie Monster's Mommy, should have known better.

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carmium@reddit

And that's a strange thing to say. "Check his pockets" is more usual.🙂

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PerseusRAZ@reddit

I believe he may have been making a subtle LotR/Hobbit reference.

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carmium@reddit

Hmm. Went right over my non-hobbit head. Can you elaborate?

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PerseusRAZ@reddit

There's a character called Gollum who has an odd way of speaking - often making double plurals or added "-es" to things that don't need it. Here's a quote from (the book) The Hobbit:

""What have I got in my pocket?” he said aloud. He was talking to himself, but Gollum thought it was a riddle, and he was frightfully upset. “Not fair! not fair!” he hissed. “It isn’t fair, my precious, is it, to ask us what it’s got in it’s nassty little pocketsess?""

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carmium@reddit

Nasty Hobbitses! We don't trust them! Okay, got it. Why he's Gollum-speaking I have no idea, however.

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nihility24@reddit

Yeah trying to find associations where there isn’t

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Jenoma89@reddit

To be fair, he could have added an extra s and made it pocketsess.

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itmytech@reddit

When the cookies mysteriously disappear, always check the middleman

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weierstrab2pi@reddit

And when the commenting pattern is too similar, always check for bots.

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Ok_Caregiver_9585@reddit

When the cookies disappear, always check the middle, man.

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donjulioanejo@reddit

Man, I checked the middle, and it's a fuckin' donut.

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JetScreamerBaby@reddit

When the cookies disappear, always check.

The Middle Man

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mijcar@reddit

Durn, I was going to say “check the man’s middle.”

Whatever. GMTA

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chikinn@reddit

The middleman's middle

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Cien_fuegos@reddit

Reminds me of the time I was working at a cell phone store. Someone came in to complain they’ve gone over their data for the month so quickly.

After getting some answers I found out their 16 year old son just got his first smartphone with a 2gb data plan…

That was not the answer they were prepared for.

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TheStaffmaster@reddit

Like good internet (GIGABIT/T1 line), if you can afford it, GET UNLIMITED DATA. Make sure they keep that shit in the plan if they upgrade you. MAKE IT YOUR BUSINESS.

don't compromise.

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Rubber_Rose_Ranch@reddit

Data caps are a Fukkin scam

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donjulioanejo@reddit

Eh, depends what the cap is. My ISP has a 1 TB plan and unlimited data for an extra $5 or $10.

I've never gone above 300-400 GB/month (okay, 700 GB in the month BG3 came out), and we work remote and constantly have at least 1-2 streams like Netflix or Youtube going after work.

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