A guy is in a job interview. The interviewer asks “What do you consider to be your greatest weakness?”. The guy thinks for a moment and replies “Well I do believe in being totally honest.” The interviewer looking surprised says “I think that is a strength not a weakness.” …
Posted by cwwspurs@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 43 comments
“I don’t give a f@ck what you think!” The guy replies.
eagleeyerattlesnake@reddit
Describe yourself in one word.
"Follows directions."
listerinebreath@reddit
How would you describe yourself in one word?
Vague
Could you elaborate?
Yes
Phattastically@reddit
I like this because either answer works.
Could you elaborate?
No
Dockers4flag2035orB4@reddit
Could you elaborate?
Maybe
LaughingHiram@reddit
Could you elaborate?
I can elaborate, correlate, integrate and segregate. And I can do it all without any reference to facts, opinions or information.
Hell yeah, or maybe not
MinFootspace@reddit
E-LA-BO-RAAATE! THE DAAALEK DEMAND IT!
LaughingHiram@reddit
I get Who AND Gilbert and Sullivan. How could this day get any better. Star Trek reference?
Finwolven@reddit
Seems like a very model of a modern major general
Acrobatic_Matter_109@reddit
Gilbert & Sullivan, by any chance?
LaughingHiram@reddit
No, I’m just another alliterative iteration.
Bemxuu@reddit
-Could you elaborate?
-Orange!
Hmm, no, not any answer works, apparently.
skadalajara@reddit
No no, this is actually no less vague.
catninjaambush@reddit
I like this, but I am not going to say why.
Al_Kydah@reddit
This seems like it should be the only answer. I mean, if you're vague, you cannot elaborate/clarify
rankinfile@reddit
Clarify? I don't eat dairy.
ChewsOnBricks@reddit
I think "Probably" works best
Phattastically@reddit
I could be vague on purpose.
DaddyBeanDaddyBean@reddit
"I might be arguing in my spare time."
catninjaambush@reddit
As a hobby.
drkow19@reddit
It's could you versus would you. Sure, they could... but will they?
Cold_Table8497@reddit
How would you describe yourself in three words?
Efficient.
DangersVengeance@reddit
My preferred response is “Not particularly good at following weird instructions”
Rockfords-Foot@reddit
How do you spell vague?
V-a-something-something-e
nstickels@reddit
I’ve heard a similar one with:
Interviewer- what is your greatest weakness?
Me- I tend to answer questions with answers that while technically correct, don’t provide any value.
Interviewer- wow, that’s an interesting answer. Could you give me an example?
Me- yes
3point21@reddit
Pointy Haired Boss: Wow! You have three masters degrees and a PhD!
Nerdy Glasses Applicant: Yes, it’s all very impressive, but interestingly, I have no common sense whatsoever.
PHB: That’s not the sort of thing you should say during a job interview.
NGA: I don’t see why not.
(Early 90s Dilbert)
Driunischa@reddit
We immigrated to Canada in 1998, and mom asked me to buy the Toronto Star on Saturdays, to learn English. My favourite was the cartoon section, including Dilbert with witty humour.
imsowhiteandnerdy@reddit
You know that old saying "Never meet your heroes"?
Well... never Google them either to learn what happened to them or learn about their political views...
:Z
smackjack@reddit
Also from a Dilbert comic.
Interviewer: So why did you leave your last job?
Applicant: I punched my boss.
Interviewer to her boss: he's exactly what we need.
JohnLockeNJ@reddit
My favorite interview Dilbert
https://i.imgur.com/Ow0eBvV.png
sovamind@reddit
Aspie here... I am 100% am the interviewee in this story.
pmalleable@reddit
Where do you see yourself in five years?
Well, I'd say my biggest weakness is listening.
cwwspurs@reddit (OP)
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
In a mirror just like now I guess.
GoabNZ@reddit
"Certainly not in this dump, that's for sure"
Rockfords-Foot@reddit
What three words would you use to describe yourself?
Lazy
Ready-Future1294@reddit
Okay, then what is your superpower?
My superpower is that I always understand everything in hindsight!
In hindsight? That's not a superpower...
Well, now you put it that way...
StrategosMiron@reddit
Well, if he would really always understand it in hindsight it would be a superpower. Because sometimes the hardest part is trying to understand why the thing you tried to do/build did not work.
Ngklaaa@reddit
It's harder to get it right first time every time
rankinfile@reddit
I understand that now.
stringdingetje@reddit
In hindsight your always right, that IS a superpower!
PixieBaronicsi@reddit
What would you say is your biggest weakness?
I have difficulty separating fantasy from reality
OK, and what about your biggest strength?
I’m Batman
Excellent-Fill9395@reddit
Or “Can’t say. It would ruin my secret identity”
Plus-King5266@reddit
I’m Batman
Classic_Cream_4792@reddit
Job interview says we need some one responsible and response is perfect at the last place I worked at whenever anything went wrong they said I was responsible for it.