Coffee has been banned in France.

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MrTjur@reddit

On the contrary, I've heard that something is brewing in the French press

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Fuzzybo@reddit

There may be grounds for that.

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TWVer@reddit

Who will be the first to spill the beans though?

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foxyfoo@reddit

They will probably get roasted.

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AverageDemocrat@reddit

This perked everyone's interest

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The_Helmeted_Storm@reddit

Hopefully it'll percolate down to the people.

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mdsg5432@reddit

Thanks. That news helps to au lait my concerns.

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wrightf@reddit

Exactly - How is that possible? There is no filter in the french press.

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Winter-Potential9180@reddit

You've heard the latte - est news ?

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dospc@reddit

All the French milky coffee has been exported to Spain and rebranded.

It's now Café ¡olé!.

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Lonely_District4930@reddit

Stupid Reddit! I drink Starbucks and fart in your general direction!

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Specialist_Neck7502@reddit

You stupid French Press. Your mother is a syphilitic goat, and your father is Italian.

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tlbs101@reddit

This hits home. Our Keurig machine quit working, so we were using a French press for a time, recently. 😂 😂

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Born4thJuly@reddit

Headline reads: "French press surrendered; hate to spill the tea".

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actordude1@reddit

I think I'll go with the classic:

"That's what she said!"

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LaughingHiram@reddit

Coffee is a mess in Paris.

It was all over the French press.

No need to thank me for rescuing your joke.

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actordude1@reddit

Nice! Maybe: "Coffee is making headlines recently in Paris. It's been all over the French press." ?

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LaughingHiram@reddit

If you take out the “mess” you have to tss add or out “all over” and just say IN the French press. Symmetry.

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actordude1@reddit

I guess your mess is best for the French press...

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LaughingHiram@reddit

I’ll take the joke either way, so long as the reportage matches the décolletage.

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actordude1@reddit

I like your word rhymes, by the way...

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actordude1@reddit

Ooooo, now we're getting sexy!

Sorry, I understand the one meaning of decolletage, but I'm not that versed in French to get this. It flew over my head.

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LaughingHiram@reddit

I was just using it to refer to the object end of the equation. Not really substantially accurate so much as indicative.

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musea00@reddit

Just had a French press coffee this morning. Made me laugh out loud.

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2nW_from_Markus@reddit

Liberté, égalité, pas de cafè.

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Korchagin@reddit

Liberté, égalité,, boire du thé

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Alewort@reddit

You probably haven't heard the story; the French press isn't working on it.

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RedHal@reddit

Does no-one call them cafètieres anymore?

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tychozero@reddit

And now, a poem (not sure of source, sorry): Coffee. Coffee, coffee, coffee. Everybody shut up. Coffee.

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Dadpool2420@reddit

Seems like a French Roast will be soon to follow

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Yeyati_Nafrey@reddit

A light roast, well done.

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5thInferno@reddit

The headlines would’ve read ‘cappucciNO!’

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kisukes@reddit

Why would they ban their water?

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MAXsenna@reddit

Nah, that's red wine.

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Evening-Tomatillo-47@reddit

So when they said the rivers will run red...

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TheDvilhimself@reddit

Maybe they're all in Seine

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philipp2310@reddit

French press is all about coffee!

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Yaguajay@reddit

But the political opposition has plunged right in to the story.

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gilfromisrael@reddit

I read it in L'expresso

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merrittgene@reddit

An underground market is forming in response to the ban. Details are unclear, but something is brewing at the French press.

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Moonrajah@reddit

The French just can't espress themselves.

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puertomateo@reddit

"Covering" doesn't really work.