When a call out of the blue from Dell wasn't a sales call
Posted by speddie23@reddit | talesfromtechsupport | View on Reddit | 129 comments
Way back I was working on the service desk for a large organization who almost exclusively used Dell for their end user hardware.
On a fairly quiet day I get a call.
Dell: "Hi, this is [name] from Dell, have I come through to [company name]'s IT department?"
Me: "Yes, this is the service desk at [company name]"
Dell: "I was just calling to see, how often do you refresh your hardware, specifically monitors?"
At this point, I'm pretty sure it's a sales call, but it's fairly quiet, and if I am on the phone, I can't get another call, so I play along
Me: "Usually 4 years, but can be more or less than that"
Dell: "Ahh ok. So you wouldn't dispose of one after say 2 or 3 months?"
Me: "Very unlikely"
Dell: "And what do you do with your disposed IT equipment?"
Me: "We use a computer recycler who collects it. I don't know what they do with it after that"
Dell: "Hmm. So the reason I'm asking is someone has made a warranty claim for a faulty Dell screen.
When I ran the service tag (serial number) through our system, I can see we sold it in a bulk order to [company name] about 3 months ago. Looks like you also purchased a few extra years warranty on it too.
The person who put through the claim mentions they purchased it new on eBay about a month ago"
Me: "huh. Yeh that is a bit strange."
Dell: "Yeh, just wanted to see what is happening as it does seem a little out of the ordinary you would dispose of a screen so soon, especially with the extra warranty"
Me: "If you can give me the service tag, I'll check our CMDB. That should confirm if it has been retired or not"
(I get and run the service tag in our CMDB)
Me: "Yep it's showing as it's an active asset (i.e. not disposed of), we got it about 3 months ago and it should be in our IT store room ready for deployment right now.
What I'll do is log a ticket, noting the service tag with the team that handles purchases and find out what happened"
I log the ticket, we exchange references numbers, and end the call. Then I basically just forget about it.
A week or so later, an immediate termination request is put through for one of the other IT guys. We were told he no longer works for our company and he left very suddenly without explanation.
Later on, I find out through the grape vine he was fired for theft of company property.
Basically, he stole a new Dell monitor from the IT storeroom that was intended for stock on hand, and sold it as new on eBay.
The monitor had a fault, and the purchaser on eBay logged a warranty claim directly with Dell, using the eBay purchase record as her proof of purchase.
The seller's eBay account belonged to person who stole the monitor, and that's how he got caught.
FoxtrotSierraTango@reddit
I don't understand how people can be so moronic. I've been involved in 3 theft investigations, all of which were similarly easy to crack. It's like people don't even try to hide their illicit dealings anymore...
Zombie-Giraffe@reddit
I also wonder why people risk their job for sometimes very little money.
At my last company a coworker was fired for stealing plates, glasses and cutlery from the break room. These were not good quality items and we were very well paid. She was even given the chance to replace the items and wouldn't.
Like why would you risk your salary for a couple of bucks? And then explain to your next employer why you were fired...
grendus@reddit
At my previous job, one of the sales guys pulling down six figure salary plus commission (on multi-million dollar contracts) was fired for using his company card (for wining and dining clients) to buy expensive crap like TVs and laptops and hocking it on ebay.
I understand fraud to steal several times your annual income. If you're pulling down $70k as an accountant and can siphon a couple hundred thousand into your own accounts... it at least makes sense that someone might take the risk (I value my freedom and integrity more than that, but I can at least see why someone else might not). But why risk losing your job over less than a single paycheck?
SeanBZA@reddit
I used to do the montlhy6 tea stock purchases, and every month I would buy a box of 10 spoons, 10 forks and 10 knives. After a while I bought plastic instead. Funny enough those only got worn out or broken, not stolen.
Medical-Traffic-2765@reddit
I'll bet it's a power thing. They get a little thrill from getting away with it.
musingofrandomness@reddit
I have seen people with ridiculously high security clearances steal from the snack fund. You would think all the background checks and polygraphs would weed that sort of stupidity out.
JustNilt@reddit
If you troll my post history you'll find a post about Boeing from earlier this evening that talks about theft of coffee funds. One of those involved in that story who the security folks talked about was a VP. They weren't "fired for theft" because that'd be terribly embarrassing for the rest of the executives but I'd bet my last dollar that's not the only executive to have done it.
Zombie-Giraffe@reddit
It's so weird.
I also worked at a company were we could borrow equipment and take it home for personal use. You just had to fill out a form (just your name and date and what equipment, not a lot of paperwork) and leave it at the gate.
People would just not do it. Sometimes at the gate there were random checks. If you didnt leave the form it was considered theft. Why would you risk your job for 30s of your time?
It's not even really a thrill to do this... Are people maybe just stupid?
FlowerComfortable889@reddit
Those in the top ranks don't often make it there by being honest and trustworthy...
My great uncle lost about 95% of his vision back in the 1950s from brain surgery in the Navy to remove a tumor. He was discharged and got into a program to run a cafeteria in an office building and he always said it was the execs who would hand him a single and tell him it was a $20. He'd then make a big show out of feeling the paper really carefully and trying to use his last 5% of vision to tell what it was and call them out on it very loudly. He'd then never see that exec again, but he said all the regular workers never tried to screw him in any way. It was always the higher-ups
JustNilt@reddit
It's likely a some people were easily distracted and forget to do that paperwork combined with those who are inclined to steal in general. There are those who will steal anything they can no matter what. I'm no professional in the field but I'm sure there are psychological reasons for that in many instances as well as plain old sociopaths who just don't give a shit about anything other than their own desires.
Thistlefizz@reddit
Stupid and lazy
NotYourNanny@reddit
If course criminals are stupid. If they weren't stupid, they wouldn't be criminals, they'd be lawyers.
Thats_what_im_saiyan@reddit
lawyers are just criminals in a different sense.
NotYourNanny@reddit
But they're criminals who know how to get away with it.
LupercaniusAB@reddit
It always amazes me. I lurk here, but work as a Union stagehand. We do lots of corporate events, especially tech conferences since we are in San Francisco. When it’s busy, we bring in “overhires”, non-members who want to get their foot in the door of our local.
A few years back, we had a guy working as an overhire try to steal a laptop from a dressing room for one of the executives presenting that day. He got caught, obviously. I never understood that. Like, here is a chance to have a career. At the very least, you’re probably going to earn the price of that laptop in a few days on this job. Why would you throw that away?
NotYourNanny@reddit
We once fired a receptionist in the corporate office for not paying for a 25 cent candy bar.
Because it's never just one candy bar.
Zombie-Giraffe@reddit
Yeah but hoe many candy bars do you have to take to make it worth losing your regular paycheck?
NotYourNanny@reddit
Indeed.
But let me clarify:
It's never just one, and it's never just candy bars.
reventcake295@reddit
Reminds me of a time when I did an internship at a company and my hand pump was stolen from my bike, noticed immediately when I got to my bike.
After review of camara footage it was found that the cleaner from the cleaning company that was used to be the person who took it, by my knowledge the person was let go and I got my hand pump back along with a statement along the lines of: "it never stays with small things"
meipsus@reddit
It's usually either for the thrill of it (including the "stick it to The Man!" kind of thrills) or because they are so stupid they see it as easy money, without even realizing how probable it is to get caught.
Jail is where failed criminals are kept; the smart ones won't do this kind of thing.
davethecompguy@reddit
That would be a fun meeting with HR. "So, was that monitor you stole from us worth your career?"
RandomBoomer@reddit
One of my co-workers stole my work laptop off my desk by coming into the office on a weekend. The security system logged who entered the building, so he was easily identified. Turned out he had a drug habit and had pawned my machine to support said habit.
I never was told any of the details, other than he had been caught and terminated. Apparently, our company didn't press charges and it was all dealt with very discreetly. I sure hope that rehab was part of the deal, because within a few years he was back working for another IT company in our area.
jlt6666@reddit
My favorite one of these stories was many years ago a disgruntled employee called in a bomb threat to the company Christmas party. From a casino pay phone. Two blocks from the office.
JOSmith99@reddit
And used his credit card to pay for the call?
Responsible-End7361@reddit
All thieves get caught.
Half of them are entitled or think everyone around them are stipid, so do things like this assuming no one will notice. The other half think hard about how they could get caught. So why do they still get caught? Because they are too smart.
See the smart ones get away with it...and do it again. Because their plan worked, they use the exact same plan, which means police figure out the two crimes are related, and can combine any evidence they did get from each occurance.
And the smart ones got away with it, and now know for sure they are smarter than the cops, so take shortcuts with their careful plan. Maybe skip wearing gloves (and leave a print) or drive to the crime scene instead of parking two blocks away and walking (providing a plate).
Each repetition the crook (effectively) gets dumber and the cops (effectively) get smarter until the smark crook is dumber than the cops.
Mouler@reddit
I'm going to be using smark and stipid.
Responsible-End7361@reddit
Argh, what I get for posting late at night, sorry. Stipid is just my stupid fat finger hitting slightly off on the touchscreen but I have no idea where smark came from.
Normally I spot these things (e.g. I just typed Normslly and fixed it) but I didn't double check...sigh.
Mouler@reddit
They're already added to my spellcheck dictionary, though. You may have just caused a shift in language.
Slackingatmyjob@reddit
If it's stipid and it works, it aren't stipid
Takes a smark person to re-alloys that
jinks@reddit
Maxim 43
GWSTPS@reddit
...it's still stipid. And yer lukky!
Golden_Apple_23@reddit
"If it's stupid and it works, it's still stupid and you're lucky."
Mouler@reddit
Stipid smark fer sher brah
CommercialExotic2038@reddit
Normslly
dredfox@reddit
Stipid is as stupid types.
coyote_of_the_month@reddit
One thing that pops into my head sometimes that if you were a psycho who wanted to kill someone just for the hell of it, it would be trivially easy to steal some license plates, drive an older car to somewhere away from your usual stomping grounds, leaving your phone at home, and shoot a rando on the street. With no connection to the victim and the most basic counter-surveillance, you'd never get caught as long as you didn't repeat the crime and create a pattern.
The only reason it doesn't happen is that the type of pyscho who actually wants to do this, is probably going to want to do it again and again, and likely has a lot of escalating behavior leading up to it.
NotYourNanny@reddit
Only about half of murders are ever solved. But the current estimate is that about 90% of serial killers are caught.
So you may be onto something.
dougmc@reddit
But that's explained just by math.
If 50% of murders are solved (and all murders are equivalent -- being caught is just random chance in this hypothetical example), and a serial killer does five murders, the odds of them getting away with all of them is only 0.5^5 or 3%.
(Of course this is a very oversimplified example, but the general gist remains -- commit a lot of crimes, and the chances of getting caught for at least one of them go way up.)
Thats_what_im_saiyan@reddit
Its not that they get dumber they get more lax in their safety protocols. I remember being the same way in the early 2000s when I would smoke weed. First couple times you go meet with someone you go through a 72 step process to make sure everything is all good. Month or 2 later your doing a deal in the lobby of the police station cause you think you're that good.
Jonathan_the_Nerd@reddit
I remember a true story some years ago about a poor redneck couple who stole millions of dollars from a bank. The theft was successful, and they would have gotten away with it. But they started spending the money like mad. It didn't take long for the police to put two and two together.
Edit: News article about the robbery. The ringleader was smart enough to flee to Mexico. He was caught when his co-conspirators put out a hit on him.
Langager90@reddit
What makes me a bad thief, officer? If I was a good thief, I wouldn't be sitting here discussing it with ya, now would I?!?
Paraphrased from the Meet the Demoman video.
MixtureOdd5403@reddit
People may be deep in debt and desperate for money, or they are on drugs and don't think logically, or they really think that they are master criminals who won't get caught.
GovernmentPuzzled819@reddit
We had a new employee who was caught in the manager's office rummaging through her purse. "I wasn't taking money, I was looking for drugs."
Reader, that did not work as an excuse.
shiftingtech@reddit
It's because there aren't any consequences.
Somebody was stealing equipment very regularly from my employer (a city government subsidiary). City security figured the thing to do was put a GPS tracker in a bait device, and see where it went. I came up with a perfect bait... and our management balked at the $50 fee for the tracker.
Ich_mag_Kartoffeln@reddit
A former employer looked into tracking certain assets due to "inventory shrinkage". According to the bean counters, it was cheaper to buy new stuff than buy and run the trackers.
Never did find out what modelling they used to reach that conclusion; sure it might be cheaper in the short term, but long term you could reduce the % of tracked assets and still have enough to determine where the shrinkage is occurring.
Laughing_Luna@reddit
Things like that do depend on a lot of things. I'm sure someone in the bean counting department cares about the beans past the current quarter. If shrinkage isn't too extensive, and isn't too regular, and if you account for potentially losing the tracking devices, as well as the costs of either hiring another person, or adding to an existing employee's responsibilities the need to monitor the trackers (which would mean less time/attention towards their pre-existing responsibilities)...
What looks like a short sighted decision ends up being a a fair bit smarter.
Alternatively, the ones causing the shrinkage are the bean counters.
Gadgetman_1@reddit
They think that because the Police hardly ever bother investigating theft any more that they're safe...
They don't really understand what we in IT can see. Not even everyone in IT understand that. And IT doesn't bother with the police. We call HR...
Rauffie@reddit
IT sees everything, including those repetitive OnlyFans searches, Greg.
Oh, and Melissa? Bad form doing that Zoom interview with our competitor from your desktop. You DO KNOW it records to Cloud, right?
...Maggie. Why Maggie? You KNOW we have to check every external thumb drive you bring in. I KNOW you KNOW, you're IT! WHY ONE GUY ONE JAR MAGGIE?!?!?
micaturtle@reddit
Maggie is trolling you 🤣
NotYourNanny@reddit
Police do like being handed an easy arrest on a silver platter, especially if you can up it to a felony.
But firing is a lot easier on the company. No publicity, no internet tongues wagging about what drove the poor criminal to do it, not down time for people who have to testify, etc.
agoia@reddit
I let HR handle make that call and stay out of it until IT needs to interact with them to provide evidence.
NotYourNanny@reddit
That's actually a decision that really should be made above HR, who should only be implementing decisions, not making them. Pity so many companies don't understand that.
caltheon@reddit
Not above HR, it's lateral, but usually an OGC / Legal department manages these. They often don't prosecute to avoid bad press or retaliation, but sometimes they will. We just recently had an executive who was fired from Microsoft for laundering money but not charged, they were hired by us (since we didn't have any record of it) and did the same thing. When we caught them, and checked with their previous employer, they let us know they had done the same thing, so Legal worked with them to press charges for both crimes.
agoia@reddit
HR was just the broker between IT and the rest of it. It was indeed the CEO who made the decision about how it went.
EMCSW@reddit
It’s nothing new. 35 years ago I ran the Tool Issue Room aboard a US Navy ship. All our tools had our ship name and work center number engraved on them. Young lady sailor who worked for me decided to take a few drills and grinders to a pawn shop. Phone call to local police who called the base who called the ship and the crime was solved. Stupidest thing was my sailor was pregnant and now getting tossed with a bad conduct discharge which meant no benefits.
FeistySpeaker@reddit
Not a new thing. Some 20-30 years ago, I was working for a gas station. (Ugh. Retail.) One of my coworkers decided to walk off with a big package of scratchers and frame me for it. Would have probably worked if they hadn't caught her on camera as she attempted to redeem them.
kanzenryu@reddit
Drugs need money right now
tibsie@reddit
They think that all they have to do is get the box out of the building and that even if the missing stock is noticed that there is no way to know it was them.
They don't realise that serial numbers are logged in an asset tracking system.
Flipflopvlaflip@reddit
Work at large corporation. We have a company cafetaria where you grab your food and pay at an unmanned POS.
One guy did just not pay. Was called out by the personnel but ignored it. Was let go as a consequence.
Like dude, getting sacked for a five to ten euro lunch.
17HappyWombats@reddit
With the smart thieves you never even start the investigation. At worst the bankruptcy trustee eventually works out that the reason there's no money is that someone was stealing everything in sight. But often things just trundle along and eventually the thief tapers off the stealing and leaves, and you probably never notice the tapering either.
In my case the auditor's insurance covered a lot of the losses because the thief had also fooled the auditor (as well as the tax office, but they're not really looking for that). The bankruptcy trustee worked it out fairly quickly though (they had the advantage of knowing a lot of money was definitely missing). The only dumb part was that the fucker lied so vigorously about the cover-up that they actually got convicted of perjury. That's how pissed off the judge was. Obviously the actual fraud did not merit time in jail because white collar crime almost never does. But between insurance and asset recovery they/we managed to unwind most of the losses.
30porn87@reddit
SMH at least remove it from the asset DB.
EinsteinTaylor@reddit
Probably can’t depending on the size of company. And this story sounds like a large company.
Sarbanes-Oxley is no joke. In our asset management DB there are certain fields that nobody outside of asset management org can change. And every year we get audits where they come to a site, pick X number of assets from the DB and they damn well better be able to walk to the exact rack and slot it claims to be in.
30porn87@reddit
Then ... don't steal it. Wait until it's out of order, and/or let a friend in asset management remove it/set it to trashed. 99% of my hardware, with servers etc., is "old" or just a bit damaged stuff that was sorted out and taken by my dad lol
RatherGoodDog@reddit
And just ask... The amount of free shit I've had from work is amazing. My company was getting rid of old office chairs, so I asked facilities management if I could take one of the good ones home instead of them trashing it. "Sure!" And I picked it up from the back door at 5PM. Still got it, and it's a way better chair for my home computer than I could have afforded at the time.
Same with a load of boxes that I needed when I moved house. Got some good archive folders for my personal documents that were surplused about 5 years ago and were sitting in storage. I asked for and got some Falcon tubes from the labrats which I keep cigars in now.
I have a full set of fire extinguishers for my house - all surplussed, headed for disposal as they were slightly out of date. Foam for the kitchen, CO2 for electronics, water for everything else. Still fine, I'm sure, because I've seen the inspections and all they do is check for pressure and visible damage, which are both fine.
Just this week I was offered an unwanted office plant, which I took, because I now have a reputation as some kind of womble.
Significant_Snow4352@reddit
I still have an old thinkpad that I bought of my employer for like 150€ after the battery died a few months after warranty had ended. Replacement was 50€ and an hour of work.
At the time, it would still have easily been worth 500-600€ even in it's used state
EruditeLegume@reddit
Upvoted for Womble!
k6lui@reddit
Where is a difference between the trunk if your car and the electronic waste bin? Oh right, your car is closer to the office than the electronics bin.
GWSTPS@reddit
BOFH right there!
JustNilt@reddit
Heh, saw that one coming as soon as I read the first few lines of your post. It's amazing how many folks will happily steal stuff thinking there's no way they can get caught.
erikkonstas@reddit
TBF idiot was caught because he put identifiable stuff in his eBay. It's like those burglars who painted their faces with sharpie instead of putting on a mask.
Speciesunkn0wn@reddit
I like the 'lemon juice as invisible ink' bandits best
Vesalii@reddit
I don't get how someone from IT is this dumb. There's probably only a handful of people who even can get into the store room, so it's not like there would be a lot of suspects.
Rubik842@reddit
I worked for a place where someone was doing that with ergo keyboards, except it was about $100k worth before they were caught.
doshka@reddit
airz?! Where are the keyboards, airz?
ProfChubChub@reddit
He's active again.
mind__goblin@reddit
Thanks for the reminder, airz is a legend
Melbuf@reddit
That's a lot of keyboards
Rubik842@reddit
Yeah, it was a couple of years and more and more brazen. Big company.
saforce@reddit
I'm actually impressed someone from Dell took the initiative to contact you instead of simply moving on with their day.
bobarrgh@reddit
Back in the early 90s, I was working for a fairly large financial services company. We occupied 1 floor (or possibly 2) of an 11-story building. Although the elevators were located in the floor lobby, you still had to have a badge/fob to go from the lobby into our offices.
We had a rash of laptop thefts. I had purchased a DefCon lock and locked my laptop to my desk so I was never a victim. But, one of the guys in our group had his laptop stolen.
About a week later, that guy gets a phone call from a pawn shop, with the pawnbroker asking if he had recently had a laptop stolen. The pawnbroker was savvy enough to know that our company did not dispose of its property via pawn shops, so he had turned on the laptop and on the bootup screen, it had my buddy's name. So, of his own volition (most likely because he knew that the laptop was most likely stolen), the pawnbroker called our company and asked for my buddy.
The police were called, security tapes at the pawn shop were reviewed, and, sure enough, an employee who worked for our company (I'll call him "John") was clearly seen bringing in the laptop and pawning it for cash. That employee was subsequently fired, but no criminal charges were laid. (Mistake #1)
(The rumor mill churned up the tidbit that "John" had a gambling problem and had often boasted how he had won -- or lost -- this or that amount at the casinos, which had just recently opened in our city.)
About 2-3 years later, I was at an airport in another city, flying home and I saw "John" waiting for the same flight. At the time, I was traveling so much, it was not uncommon for me to run into acquaintances at airports. He and I talked a bit, catching up (awkwardly, I might add), and I asked where he was working. I was surprised when he told me he worked for a very large bank in our city.
I put 2 and 2 together and realized that the only way he could have been hired at a bank after being fired for theft was if our company had declined to press charges. The fact that he had been hired at a bank was Mistake #2.
About two years after that, I left that company for a different one. I was assigned to a particular project that used Lotus Notes (shudder ... sorry ... PTSD flashback) and I went to the kickoff meeting, only to come face-to-face with "John". Apparently, he no longer worked at the bank. Instead, he worked for our company, whose offices were spread across three different buildings. He was working at one of the smaller buildings, in some sort of lab environment, where there was space for hardware to be stored and staged before rollout to employees or clients.
Shortly after that meeting, I heard my manager talking about a delay in a project because two laptops had gone missing from that lab. I went to my manager and told her that I had some past experience with someone who worked in that lab, a person who had been fired for property theft. However, since I did not have first-hand knowledge, I was unwilling to point the finger at "John". I didn't want to gossip or spread slander.
Instead, I told her to suggest to the powers-that-be to put a video camera somewhere in that area.
Less than a week later, "John" was once again let go from the company without any criminal charges being applied. (Mistake #3, at the very least).
Not surprisingly, we didn't have any more equipment walking away after that.
TinyNiceWolf@reddit
There should be some way to punish companies that quietly fire known criminals, dumping them on some other unsuspecting company without reporting the menace to the authorities.
Laughing_Luna@reddit
This is where it's kinda thorny. It's the prerogative of the victim to or to not press charges, be they corporate entity, private individual, or federal agency.
Legal departments are already expensive just for their retaining fees, but once they have to actually do work outside of their usual, then they start billing more; in addition to court fees, in addition to how long it can take for the matter to get resolved; not to mention that the company would probably prefer their lawyers be more available for combing through or writing contracts/agreements/EULAs/etc; and this is assuming the stolen assets are worth enough for the charges to be felonies, rather than misdemeanors.
And on the other side, IF Company B calls Company A, Company A isn't allowed to say anything that MIGHT be construed as preventing the thieving employee from gaining employment. Yes, even if they tell the whole factual truth, see above about legal costs and time taken away from other tasks should the fired and still unemployed thief try to sue or press charges.
And as my emphasis implies, Company A MIGHT be totally upfront and honest despite risks and/or opting to eat what ever costs, but it's not Company A's responsibility to track their former employee's post employment activities. So said employee needs to [1] list Company A as a reference, [2] Company B needs to actually follow up and call Company A, and [3] if there are no legal records backing up these claims of larceny (see above), then Company A is not incentivized and is actively disincentivized to elaborate on their answer when they say no to "Should the opportunity arise, would you rehire this employee?".
Even if the former employee has NOTHING on the company at all, the company risks some serious penalties if they elaborate. Or they can just let it go, costing nothing except what the thief has already taken (which has probably already been written off as a loss).
TinyNiceWolf@reddit
If they let it go, the cost falls not on the company but on other companies, and eventually on all the honest people. We need a system that directs that cost back to the selfish company that decided to keep quiet.
When you try to open a checking account, the bank looks you up to see if you're deposited bad checks at other banks. Try to get a credit card, and the issuer checks to see if you've paid on time in the past.
Suppose a similar system existed for employees, and insurance companies set their rates based on whether a company fully participated. If a company wanted to participate, it would have to promise to accurately report why each employee left the company. If you fire Bob for stealing, but report that he just left on his own, and I hire Bob, when I go to my insurance company to report that Bob stole stuff, they now have a reason to go after you for making a false report, and recovering damages from you. Perhaps some mechanism like that would help.
Laughing_Luna@reddit
The burden of proving that the first company fired Bob for theft lies on the accuser. If all the documents say he left on his own or fired/let go for any other reason, then how do you prove that he was fired for theft?
Further, what penalties could you possibly reasonably leverage to make it not worth the losses of the prior thefts AND the associated costs legal would incur for Bob's defamation suit? Part of worker protections is SPECIFICALLY to (try to) make sure a company or someone CAN'T make it impossible for Bob to find gainful employment.
And further STILL, under the current laws, Bob doesn't need to disclose where he worked previously if he doesn't want to - if he worked in the public sector, you might find him on a background check, sure. But Bob could just choose to have to explain an apparent gap in his employment rather than list his prior affiliation.
The examples you've given all happen to be systems that have a vested interest in tracking particulars about you, while Bob's Forklift Operator position at the job he was fired from, and the new job of the same position will only care that his Forklift Certification is up to date and MAYBE that he passes a drug test once in a while.
And additionally, making such a tracking system makes it impossible for someone to actually turn over a new leaf, and while I might be an optimist and be assuming that your ideas would also provision for extenuating circumstances such as desperate need for food/medication/medical care or mental episodes, you don't actually mention such things. And if there's anything I know about legal matters, it's that if it's not written at all, then people get needlessly harmed.
Not to mention that guilt of theft needs to be proven beyond a reasonable doubt, which takes court time, which could take weeks, if not months or even years in some cases to resolve (see also the theft needing to be of sufficient severity to warrant felony charges). Do you expect Bob to do nothing that entire time, earning zero income? What if it was an accounting error on the company's side? We ALREADY have the problem where the mere allegation can ruin the career or even life of someone, even if it's a mistaken, or worse, false allegation.
BrogerBramjet@reddit
I have a friend who works at a hotel. Last year, they remodeled. In the new office was 20 36 inch TVs with the intent on recycling them as they were 10 years old. The office has a door to outside as it used to be the laundry. New, they were $300. There was nothing stopping him from pulling his car up and leaving with the whole lot. Instead, he offered the owner half of what they were sold for. Instead of paying a city fee of $50 per, the owner got paid $200 as my friend sold them ALL in 4 days. It's a nice TV. I bought early and got the one from next door to the ice machine- the last room rented. Everyone won there. OPs coworker. I'll bet the new owner got denied on their claim plus could have lost the monitor as it was stolen property. Then they would have to get the money back somehow. Ebay? Good luck with that.
Elowan66@reddit
I knew a guy that was fired for taking home a broken inkjet printer. A customer abandoned it at the shop because it wasn’t worth repairing. Everyone knew about it and no one cared except one new manager that was trying to impress the bosses and made a huge deal about it.
Another guy was fired by a manager that accidentally bumped into him at the door and a hard drive fell out of his jacket.
Geminii27@reddit
Gah. I've at least cleared it with bosses before taking home busted equipment which has been on the bench for years gathering dust.
(These days, I'd actually arrange to buy it from the company for $1 - or be paid that to dispose of it - so I had proof of sale/work and wouldn't be relying on a boss to change their mind or lie about a verbal authorization.)
DoctorOctagonapus@reddit
Clearing it with the manager is good form, though everywhere I've worked the attitude is if it's destined for e-waste then it's fair game and you might even be doing the company a favour getting rid of it for them!
I even had one manager once come back from holiday, point to a TV out of a conference room we'd just replaced with a bigger model, and go "What's that doing here? Why is it not on your living room wall?"
caltheon@reddit
I really wish my company would have let me keep my old cellphone. They just send them to a copy to destroy and probably recycle parts of. Their thinking is they want to avoid any system that had company data on it from ever not being managed by the company. I get it, but still, frustrating.
Laughing_Luna@reddit
Depending on what your company does, or at least one part of your company does, they might be required to or face serious penalties, or even be in violation of law. And frankly, it's a lot less of a headache if they just make all work devices need to be destroyed, rather than trying to track which ones touched which work, and which ones that didn't touch the critical work but talked to devices that did, etc.
Also a lot easier to just destroy all of them at end of life, rather than assigning multiple devices to one person to keep things air gapped.
thebarcodelad@reddit
That’s been my experience so far.
“Hey barcode, do you want a couple of these old laptops? They’ll just go to e-waste otherwise, they’re practically worthless”.
“Hey barcode, there’s some old HP workstations in there. Feel free to grab one, just take it out of the asset register and mark it as disposed in the notes”.
“Hey barcode, we have a bunch of HDMI-DisplayPort adapters, you want a couple? Just in case?”
Honestly love it. Made a small little server rack with the equipment. Made a NAS, VPN host, and am currently trying to set another one up to host a website now.
DoctorOctagonapus@reddit
We took out a couple of switches from our datacenter a few months back, 48 port 10gbe things. My boss took one for himself and asked me if I wanted the other! They were all SFP ports sadly otherwise I would have.
thebarcodelad@reddit
Ahhhh, that sucks! I’d love a 10 gig switch. I couldn’t even really do anything with it, but it’s just such a cool thing to have
461BOOM@reddit
We had a civilian worker in Air Force supply, who never lifted anything. One day after work hours, he is spotted lifting heavy boxes into the dumpster. Highly intrigued, we check the dumpster, and it has 4 boxes of new field jackets. A quick call to the OSI, they set up surveillance. After dark Civilian supply guy shows up snd takes the boxes directly to a military surplus store. The OSI guys followed him and arrested him. No retirement for him.
UsedToLikeThisStuff@reddit
We had a stack of Mac laptops stolen, which were all enrolled in Apple Business Manager. Even if you wipe and reinstall it, it’ll install our MDM and start reporting in. There are ways to bypass it but most thieves aren’t that bright. When they inevitably report in, we capture their details and lock the screen with an image saying to call us, and we tracked them down to a contractor who had access to the shipping room.
Honestly, apple has done a pretty good job of making it easy to remote lock and remote wipe laptops.
Trinkadink51@reddit
This person is one of my favorites - Tiffany Jenkins JetBlue -https://www.masslive.com/news/2023/09/tiffany-jenkins-of-chelsea-sentenced-for-cheating-airline-ticket-system-feds-say.html
VernapatorCur@reddit
Had a guy at my last gig who stole a laptop from his seat neighbor and give it to his wife. He didn't do anything other than add a username for her, under her full name.
He has a very unusual last name, and his wife had spoken personally with our supervisor not 3 months prior.
He was given one opportunity to come clean, and was walked out by PD when he didn't as they were pressing charges.
VernapatorCur@reddit
Which reminds me of my first real it job where, while learning how to run reports in the purchasing system I figured out the guy who'd previously been in my seat had been having tens of thousands of dollars worth of computer equipment shipped to his house every month for over a year. They only nailed him in particular because of the shipping address as like 5 people all used the same creds
Special-Original-215@reddit
Lol this is similar to my company, guy was stealing monitors out of the box and taking them home...he takes the bus...and the manager caught him waiting for the bus with the monitor right next to him..haha
spinmykeystone@reddit
Work at a large company, with about 5,000 laptops in circulation. Someone in pc support was fired for similar. When people traded in their 4 yr old laptop for a new one, he sold the old ones on eBay. Eventually was caught.
We have an onsite cafeteria that’s pretty large and someone, who made good money, would get a bowl of soup and eat it before reaching the registers and walk out “with no food.” Eventually got canned.
k6lui@reddit
Did he receive canned soup or did the soup got canned?
capilot@reddit
Happened at Google once. Someone crowbarred their way into a server room and stole the ram out of a bunch of machines. Sold it on eBay, and then some buyer called the manufacturer with a problem.
Manufacturer matches the serial # to a batch they sold Google, and gets pretty miffed because Google's contract says not to re-sell anything.
This led to the arrest of someone who had been breaking into tech companies all up and down the peninsula stealing computer parts.
vdragonmpc@reddit
God, job I was contracted to as their IT manager had a wildly lazy and useless CFO who was supposed to be managing accounting. Guy was going to Home Depot on the company credit card buying all kinds of things and selling them. He kept getting bolder and bolder to the point he was creating job items in the system and picking up materials and then recycling them. The only reason he was caught was an employee at the depot was curious why we were tossing so much new looking material.
CFO not fired. Losses over 250k
HR girl charged her hoochie waxing to the company card along with a 170$ pair of 'skinny jeans' CFO didnt terminate her. So she would order omaha steaks and other stuff.
Guy that replaced me for under a month upgraded his company phone and then bought 5500 of mac hardware that he took home.
Its amazing what an ineffectual employee can cost a company by not doing his job. It was brought to his attention but he just didnt care.
agoia@reddit
Wow that is insane
fresh-dork@reddit
all that and for a $200 monitor (or whatever you stock)
agoia@reddit
I'm gonna guess that there was a substantial sales history on dude's ebay acocunt.
OffSeer@reddit
The myth of the evil genius criminal
ac8jo@reddit
Thieves aren't the brightest.
A few former co-workers (former because I left and then they were fired some time after) would clock out and go out running during lunch and clock back in from their phones while still running. With things like Strava, the evidence to fire them is pretty easy to get.
LucasPisaCielo@reddit
I bet this was in Australia
ac8jo@reddit
Nope. Half a world away from there.
pockypimp@reddit
A few jobs and over about 2 decades ago I was a field tech for a retail copy/print company. One morning out of the blue my boss calls me and asks what locations I was planning on visiting that day and if I had anything urgent at those sites. When I said no he asked me to drive to another are about 4 or 5 hours away to get computers back online because they don't have a field tech in that area anymore.
Curious I ask why since the field tech down there was on our group call a couple of weeks ago. So my boss tells me what happened.
A customer came into the store asking for the tech. Techs really didn't interact with customers a lot so it was odd and the customer was upset over something. It turns out the tech was taking equipment that was End Of Life and being replaced, cleaning them up and then selling them out of the trunk of his car. Even worse he was using the Windows license from the sticker on the computer to activate Windows. The license got rejected at some point and the user got the notice that they didn't have a valid Windows license and was reasonably upset.
Anderas1@reddit
Yes we had soldering stations that appeared on a local flea market. The guy who stole them was sitting next to the solder stations.
What a moron. This was 25 years ago, so the stupidity is not new.
elPocket@reddit
A chemistry department at uni had a very expensive analysis machine disappear over night.
Since the machine was so friggin expensive, the prof tasked the person using it regularly with checking on eBay if they can find a cheap, used replacement.
The person argued nobody would sell a rare & specialized machine like this on eBay, but the prof insisted on at least trying.Turns out, they found quite a lot of finished auctions, each one with pictures taken in THEIR lab!
So they checked out the seller's store, and found multiple other active auctions for gear still in the lab, all complete with pictures taken in the lab.
To find out who the seller was, they simply outbid everybody for another piece of their equipment and surveilled what happened to it.
Turned out, one of the maintenance techs was behind the scheme, posting the equipment for sale and bidding themselves to up the price, and only if a satisfactory external buying price was achieved, they would steal & ship the hardware.
epimetues@reddit
why? let the buyer pick it up directly from the lab "yeah door is open, lab 004... just take it" 🤣
LucasPisaCielo@reddit
This is a criminal mastermind at work.
Ancient-Weird3574@reddit
At least smart enough to sell only if he got a good price. Its a cherry on top of a pile of crap
JustNilt@reddit
Man, that's pretty bold. I've seen some really bold ones before but posting pictures of them in the lab without at least blurring the identifiable bits has got to be among the boldest or laziest I've seen.
malren@reddit
In the 90s, I had a friend that worked for a very, very large company. He was IT for the local branch. over 10,000 employees and almost half of them were issued laptops. So. He used to, once every 18 months, add three laptops to his lease orders as spares, give me one and my wife one and keep the other on hand for a spare. I'd just do a fresh install of windows.
ALL support went through him. It had a legit asset tag for his company and everything. If anything went wrong, he'd grab the spare, come over, swap hard drives and send it back to Dell.
We did this from 1996-2001. Then he got promoted. His solution to the problem of not being able to grab the laptops anymore? He hired me as a contractor. Once a year I'd send an invoice for consulting, the company would pay it, and every 18 months I'd clone my drive, he'd re-image it with the company image and stick it back in the lease pile for return.
He left the company in 2003 when the company was bought and the local division was closed down. The first time I bought a laptop hurt real, real bad.
bawta@reddit
Obviously wasn't a very good IT guy if he didn't know about an obvious asset management system that would pickup something like this..
KelemvorSparkyfox@reddit
Ah, warranties.
A colleague became an ex-colleague like this. The PA to the IT Director took a call from Cisco, who wanted to know why we were reselling network equipment. This came as a surprise to us, as we didn't resell IT hardware (being a food manufacturing company), and we had stopped using Cisco some time previously. There was much frantic discussion among the senior manglement team, and then my boss came over and told me to deactivate the $ERPS account of $DirectorsFavourite.
$DirectorsFavourite has since served a term at Her Majesty's Pleasure for stealing £1.2M worth of hardware. He'd achieved this by raising POs for various bits of Cisco kit, and having them delivered to production sites that didn't have an LSM (Local Systems Manager - an IT contact). Then he'd go and collect them, and sell them on. He was able to do this because, in addition to having rights to raise requisitions and puchase orders, he'd been granted rights to approve them, too. As long as the total was less than his personal limit, no-one would be alerted to what he was doing. This situation arose because the person who previously approved departmental requests once made a single mistake, and the IT Director decided that he shouldn't do that any more. He gave that task to his favourite, instead.
The IT Director was not punished, despite this egregiously breach of the segregation of responsibilities that was in place for every other aspect of IT use. Instead, $DirectorsFavourite's line manager was made the scapegoat.
No-one was sad to see $DirectorsFavourite go. His peers were suddenly finding that they no longer had unexplained shortfalls in their project budgets. Service Delivery no longer had to worry about system changes happening without warning. I was happy that he wasn't going to delete a site's production replica of a Notes application because "Their server was getting full, and they can use the $SupportCompany replica if they need it."
He's now at liberty again, and LinkedIn kept telling me to add him to my network until I worked out how to make it stop.
theknyte@reddit
One of my old jobs, I worked in the Operations department, and we shared a common space with the Help Desk in between our areas. In that area, was where the E-Waste disposal was piled up, until it was enough to put on a pallet and ship off.
I worked the overnight shift, mostly backing up servers, applying patches, and other mostly automated things. So, I would get bored and look for stuff to do to help pass the time. One night when I came in, the E-Waste pile was such a mess, you had to walk around the pile to get to our door.
So, after getting everything up and going, I decided to re-organize the pile into something neater and better stacked, so it didn't take up as much floor space. While moving around old monitors and desktops, I saw a box at the bottom of the pile. I look at it. It was a brand new Dell engineering laptop! i9 CPU, 64GBS RAM, Quadro Mobile card. It was like a $3,000+ laptop at the time.
Well, the head of Help Desk, would come in around 6:30AM, 30 minutes before the rest of his team. I caught him as he came in. Showed him my discovery.
Next night when I came in for my shift, I heard not one, but two help desk techs were fired for stealing company assets. Apparently, for ages, no one wanted the job of having to pallet up the waste and wheel it off to the shipping docks. But, recently two HD guys started volunteering to do it. So, they would pop into their boss's office every other week and be like, "Hey the E-Waste pile is getting pretty big, want us to take care of it?"
He thought he just finally had some "Go Getters". Turned out he had two guys who would hide goods in the pile, then when they wheeled it all away to the dock, they'd take the stolen goods out and run them to their cars in the parking lot. Run back to the dock, wrap up the pallet and then return to their department. (This is what the security cameras revealed during the investigation.)
Kip_Schtum@reddit
I worked with a guy who lost his six figure IT job with great benefits and a pension because he gave an iPhone that had been returned in a refresh to a relative. Absolute idiot.
l80magpie@reddit
Wow.
magaketo@reddit
Knucklehead. Lol.
We had a guy stealing expensive diesel engine parts after dyno testing. He was the guy who gathered up the parts and shipped them back to the O.E. for examination. He decided it was a good idea to sell these parts on eBay. Then he decided it was a good idea to list them from his company computer. Then it was a great idea to ship them via the UPS truck that came to our workplace every day.
Then corporate security came in with a note book full of laminated pages of everything he had stolen and sold. The company let him sweat it out for a couple months and then allowed him to retire.
NotYourNanny@reddit
I've only ever been involved in 1 1/2 formal IT investigations. In the one that was finished (the other one was fired for other reasons before I really got started), a location manager was fired for surfing porn at his desk after hours. (And printing out stills. In black & white. Which he kept in the bottom drawer of his file cabinet. His employees called it "the porn drawer.") I ended up with 45 pages (of small print) from the proxy logs (with duplicates removed). I only went back a week.
Less than two weeks earlier, I'd had a conversation with him about how "if you do something on my network, I have a log of it."
Some people are just stupid.
frenat@reddit
We have a cafeteria where people have been terminated recently for taking soup containers and filling them up with chicken from the salad bar and paying the soup price
alwayswatchyoursix@reddit
Almost 20 years ago I had a roommate who was almost arrested because of a Dell laptop.
He didn't steal it, just bought it for dirt cheap through craigslist. I warned him it was way too good of a price but he wasn't exactly the smartest dude. I forget the details but when he got it something wasn't working correctly, so he contacted Dell to get a recovery disk from them. Dell sent him the recovery disk, and also forwarded his information to law enforcement when they eventually contacted Dell.
RandomJoke@reddit
Back in the 70's I drove a truck for a large industrial supply house. We had a paper mill in Arkansas that had a 300 pound vise walk off every month. I never found out if they ever figured out how that was happening.
Geminii27@reddit
If you're going to steal something, don't sell it through a channel which is directly linked to you.