Magic appearance
Posted by Gerund54@reddit | talesfromtechsupport | View on Reddit | 44 comments
In the early days of mobile phones (round about the mid 90s - I had a state of the art mobile in a car kit. I was a one man band. I fixed computers, programmed them built new computers all by myself.
When I had to go somewhere I would redirect my office phone to my mobile. So I'm driving along the road and I passed one of my most annoying customers. I'm a great believer in "Killing them with kindness", so when the phone rang and it was the customer I had just passed, I turned around and headed back his way.
I pulled up out the front, listening to his tale of what was wrong and as I got out of my car and walked up to his front door I said 'How soon do you want me there?" He replied, "As soon as possible." and I opened the door as I hung up the phone and called out to him "Is this soon enough?"
He was in his office and his jaw dropped open and he just gaped at me. After I had fixed his problem (an easy fix), he shook his head and said "How did you do that?"
"MAGIC!", I replied.
Reasonable_Band299@reddit
you "programmed" the computers?
Gerund54@reddit (OP)
Yes to the users it looks a lot like magic but to me it is "If this then do that" or If not this then end"
past tense: programmed; past participle: programmed
1.provide (a computer or other machine) with coded instructions for the automatic performance of a task.
Reasonable_Band299@reddit
yeah, I know what the word means, that's why I question your use of it. what language where you programming in?
Gerund54@reddit (OP)
Oh! Filepro. Inventory, accounting and payroll. Then Access and Visual Basic towards the end of the decade. Costing of finished products from raw materials.
I'm sure you are excited.
tmofee@reddit
I’ve had that quite a bit. The venues know we are quite a few hours away so the times when I’m heading back and they happen to call at the same time I always make a joke of it
ITstaph@reddit
“Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.” -Arthur C. Clarke
land8844@reddit
I work in semiconductor manufacturing. This is accurate.
Double_Lingonberry98@reddit
A machine spews tiny drops of tin, they are hit with laser and turn into hot vapor, emitting some 14 nm UV light. That gets focused by extremely precise mirrors, bounces off a reticle, and is projected to a part of a wafer, precisely focused up to single nm deviation. The wafer then moves to a new position with a few nm precision. In less than a minute, it's done.
It's all a freaking miracle.
FrankWilhoit@reddit
What happens to the tin? I would hope it is recycled, but surely it deposits, as it condenses, on absolutely everything, forming a conductive coating -- possibly, for all I can guess, a mirror? Or does the entire process involve a macroscopically negligible amount of tin?
Double_Lingonberry98@reddit
Making sure it doesn't deposit on optical and other crucial parts is very hard problem.
land8844@reddit
And that's just one step!
Fun fact - I personally helped set up the EUV coater/developer tools at GlobalFoundries Fab 8 (2x Tokyo Electron Lithius Pro Z).
Then they shitcanned the entire project and sold them back to TEL.
Double_Lingonberry98@reddit
It could happen because of construction contamination.
land8844@reddit
I'm not sure what the reason was, but GF decided to throw their weight behind a 22nm process instead of moving past 14nm.
antikangaroo@reddit
The way I remember it is that their owners (the sovereign wealth fund of the UAE) looked at how much finishing this transition would cost and decided they didn't want to come up with the money required to finish it.
land8844@reddit
Sounds about right. That decision was well above my pay grade haha.
ferky234@reddit
You carve runes on rocks that allow them to think.
OgdruJahad@reddit
I remember reading the basics of how semiconductors work. Basically they add different shit to silicon and it behaves like resistors or transistors. That's basically alchemy.
nebu1999@reddit
Just have to know the right runes.
land8844@reddit
As is typical
land8844@reddit
More or less
KelemvorSparkyfox@reddit
And any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced.
K-o-R@reddit
And any sufficiently analysed magic is indistinguishable from science.
PepeBarrankas@reddit
I mean, mobile phones and call forwarding were not really that uncommon at that time. Back in 1993 we already had the Microtac and the Nokia 101, both of which you could carry around in a pocket.
Gerund54@reddit (OP)
One thing I missed from the story was that this business owner was old. At least in his 60s. To him a landline (the number he dialed to get me was a LL number) was a linear device. It rang me at my desk. He had no knowledge of call redirection or mobile phones.
jamoche_2@reddit
Points in the general direction of my flair.
honeyfixit@reddit
KOVE IT! The perfect smart ass remark
alpargator@reddit
Whenever I get near a computer with an issue and it's magically gone, I throw some Dr Strange hand gestures and walk away.
blahajlife@reddit
"Ninety percent of most magic merely consists of knowing one extra fact."
"It doesn't stop being magic just because you know how it works."
GNU Sir Terry Pratchett
MamaPutz@reddit
The fact that his name lives on in the real, non-Discworld clacks is a testament to his genius and what he meant to us. GNU Sir Terry Pratchett.
sir_mrej@reddit
What real clacks?
MamaPutz@reddit
IYKYK
cyberpunkdilbert@reddit
right but I don't and would like to. Do you mean the X-Clacks-Overhead HTTP header?
Rolebo@reddit
Yes that too, https://xclacksoverhead.org/home/about
MamaPutz@reddit
It's a reference to a part of the Discworld book series as to how they memorialized an old character, and it's repeated on the web for the author, Sir Terry Pratchett.
sir_mrej@reddit
So your answer is the internet is real world clacks. Ok. Weird but OK.
How was that so hard?
ozzie286@reddit
http://www.gnuterrypratchett.com/
sir_mrej@reddit
OK THAT is pretty awesome and I should do that.
blahajlife@reddit
I put it in my ansible playbooks/roles :)
scyllafren@reddit
"It will be $1000. And all it needs is a good hit. That's $10. The other $990 is for KNOWING where to hit." :)
dustojnikhummer@reddit
You ain't paying for a press of a button, you are paying for knowledge what button to press
Laser_defenestrator@reddit
Cool story but the unclosed parenthesis in the first sentence is giving me anxiety...
Gerund54@reddit (OP)
FTFY (sorry)
Sethaaroncohen@reddit
http://www.catb.org/jargon/html/magic-story.html
chrash@reddit
I'd rather be lucky than good