I put it in rice though
Posted by ProgrammerChoice7737@reddit | talesfromtechsupport | View on Reddit | 168 comments
I didnt take this call but I listened to the recording and it went something like this:
Hello this is ****** how may I help you?
-Yeah all our docks are broken in our office. I think there was a power surge or something overnight
Ok, give me a moment to check if any of our systems detected an issue with the power.
.....
Hello sir? We have no record of any power issues in your building. Can you explain further what is happening?
-Yes, of course. I got up this morning and took my laptop out of the container of rice
*MUTED container of rice WTF*
Sorry sir, container of rice? Why was the laptop in rice?
-Oh because I accidentally spilled some juice on it over the weekend and I wanted it to get it dried out
Ok sir that may help dry out the machine but it wouldn't remove any residue from the liquid. I can have one of the hardware techs come to you when theyre available or you can bring your device to room **** and they'll take a look at it.
-No this is a power issue we need someone over here now to get this fixed before the rest of the office comes in
Sir your calling from a deskphone so the power and the wired internet connections are working. Based on your story the issue here is due to the liquid in the machine.
-The machine is dry I kept it in rice for 2 days
Yes sir but there would be residue in the machine that would prevent it from working
-Just get someone down here to fix the power issue. Cant believe Im having to explain technology to someone in your position. I have a PhD you know.
Ok Sir the technicians will be there as soon as they can.
LATER:
Spoke with the hardware techs after and this guy fried his PC and several docks, this was back when some docks connected with prongs into the bottom of the PCs. They said the amount of buildup on the device was insane and the guy mustve closed the PC back up, (oh yeah he ripped the bottom off to put it in rice) with rice in it cause when they opened it rice fell all over their bench. Dude killed almost $10,000 in equipment cause he thought rice was a magical cure all.
BrogerBramjet@reddit
I have a high school friend who has 2 PhDs. He's smart. Why? Because he'll say, "I don't know. " This guy? I bet he stares at cartoons of orange juice.
ttlanhil@reddit
2 PhDs? Why?
SavvySillybug@reddit
What do you mean, why? Why not? What would prevent someone from having 2 PhDs? Why would it be a bad idea? Do PhDs cause cancer and you should limit how many you have?
KodokuRyuu@reddit
PhDs are expensive and time consuming to obtain. There are very few scenarios where having two will benefit one’s career, so it’s rare to hear about someone who has two. It’s natural to be curious about why someone has done something unusual, and in such situations, we humans typically ask the question: “Why?”.
BrogerBramjet@reddit
He was employed by the university for the bio and they paid for it. He did it for a part for making him take a class at 8am on a Monday for his first PhD. He's also a nearly 50 year old man who goes by "Billy" while wearing a Spongebob tshirt. Unusual is fitting.
vaildin@reddit
What does he go by when he's not wearing a Spongebob tshirt?
NoeticSkeptic@reddit
My son-in-law is Billy. Not short for William. His mother named him Billy Francis. What makes it even more interesting is he is Hispanic,from El Salvador.
NotTheOnlyGamer@reddit
I'd assume he goes by bicycle. Most PhDs are part-time eco nuts.
KelemvorSparkyfox@reddit
William.
TheNobleMustelid@reddit
In my field you don't pay for a PhD unless you're at a diploma mill. I know people working in academia who are sort of between fields who just picked up a second (or, in one case, and third and then fourth PhD) doing very little classwork and doing the dissertation off of work they would have done or would have wanted to do. (For instance, an animal ecologist who wanted to know more about the plants his study species were eating and ended up with a PhD in botany as well.)
TehSero@reddit
My understanding is it started to become more common? One more thing to stand out in a world where having your name on papers is the most important thing, having 2 PhDs (in different enough areas) was considered a way to get noticed a bit more.
This was a few years ago, but I had a friend complaining about it, and how one wasn't special enough. It could just have been their view though.
SavvySillybug@reddit
I'd be much more curious to learn what the PhDs are in. That answer alone shines a lot of light onto the why.
ttlanhil@reddit
in addition to what KodokuRyuu posted: a PhD program is generally an apprenticeship into becoming an independent scholar/researcher - once you've done one, you should demonstrated you have all the skills you need to go on to further work (whether that's a post-doc, or going to industry, or starting towards professorship)
From what I've heard, many universities might not even allow you to enrol in a PhD program if you already have a PhD, as available supervisors might be limited (and it may not qualify for some of their funding)
Unless you're independently wealthy enough to cover all of your own costs for a second one, which is many years of effort, it's also not really viable
Often a first PhD can be covered by grants or study assistance, a second one rarely is; or in this case it's paid by the employer (e.g. working for a university that has some reason to support a second one at their own cost)
If someone has a PhD, but decides they want to go into a different field that requires advanced study, then they should already have the skills to pick up the research side; so a professional study program up to a coursework masters will be more useful than a PhD in a new topic
BrogerBramjet@reddit
One in mechanical engineering, one in biological engineering. He's kinda an overachiever. He's working on new types of prosthetics.
Ok_Net_5771@reddit
Can you ask him if he can make me taller
CheezitsLight@reddit
Yes, speak to a osteopath. They can make legs longer. Not cheap and not painless.
Ok_Net_5771@reddit
Already checked it out, fucks your legs up really good and proper, increased chance of injury, breakage and even stuff like arthritis, id rather be walking around in my 60’s as a shortie than be in a wheelchair from 45 just to be a few inches taller
saxon237@reddit
But you want to be a baller
Ardinbeck@reddit
shot caller, 20 inch blades on the Impala
Ok_Net_5771@reddit
Honestly id rather be a short king than a narcissist with fucked up legs
CheezitsLight@reddit
Rule in hell than serve in heaven.
Ok_Net_5771@reddit
You get it
saxon237@reddit
Sorry, I was trying to be humorous and quoting ‘I wish’ by skee-lo
Ok_Net_5771@reddit
I may be too young for that reference but I apologise all the same
saxon237@reddit
No worries at all an no apologies needed!
Ok_Net_5771@reddit
Better to be unnecessarily kind than be kind unnecessarily
Fishman23@reddit
Shades of Gattaca.
Ok_Net_5771@reddit
Huh???
Fishman23@reddit
The character in Gattaca has his height increased by lengthening his legs.
Ok_Net_5771@reddit
AH
BrogerBramjet@reddit
Well, sure. But your arms will be kinda weird and really long. He doesn't work with legs.
Ok_Net_5771@reddit
Rèțúřń ťǒ møņķēÿ
JNSapakoh@reddit
"Wow, how did he get 2 PhDs while in high school?" -- my slow, uncaffeinated brain
Aucassin@reddit
Some people are just like that. I have a friend who was a medical doctor, didn't really like it so went back to school and took the bar. Now she's a public defender.
TheJ-Train@reddit
I do not have a PhD, but I too would probably also stare at a cartoon of orange juice, depending on who the voice actor was.
emax4@reddit
Can a PhD be revoked? Maybe put the user in rice.
Chakkoty@reddit
Here, let me drop this ounce of wisdom: https://matt.might.net/articles/phd-school-in-pictures/
Immediate-Season-293@reddit
PhD in what?
Regardless, I knew masters candidates who didn't know what FTP was --- in 1999. I feel like a PhD isn't worth the paper it's printed on if there's no practical experience to back it up.
Fixes_Computers@reddit
My conjecture is we only have room for a limited amount of information. Each person's capacity is different.
Those with PhDs who cannot seem to do anything else ran out of room after they filled it up with PhD related information.
iacchi@reddit
I disagree with that. I'm a PhD in chemistry, yet I'm here discussing with you about IT (which is my hobby, among others).
The problem here is a misconception that all non-PhDs have: they think that having a PhD means that the owner of the title is an intelligent person. I can tell you from experience (many, many experiences, actually) that having a PhD is no synonym of intelligence; at most of persistence. Some of them are complete idiots not only in general, but also in their particular field.
Fixes_Computers@reddit
We could take this further and discuss intelligence vs. knowledge. In my conjecture, it's mostly knowledge.
I would conjecture (maybe even hypothesize) those who are more intelligent can adapt their knowledge to more situations and better integrate new knowledge.
oloryn@reddit
You're getting into the packer vs mapper distinction. I've commented on this several times in this reddit. Packers (those who learn by memorizing small, concrete information packets) tend to be much less adept at adapting their knowledge and integrating new knowledge than mappers (those who learn by making mental maps of information in their head). I would have hoped that getting a Phd would require a mapper approach, but I guess not.
iacchi@reddit
I think we could easily prove your hypothesis. Except sometimes, as I said, even the knowledge isn't there :D
Ben_DS@reddit
I absolutely agree with this.
I've had to work as a consultant dealing specifically with the AREN (Adv. Research & Education Network; e.g. Equivalent of Internet2 in USA, GEANT in EU etc.) market segment customers and this is pretty much it.
There are some that actually demonstrate intelligence and thoughtfulness but those are rare birds for the most part in my experience.
I also had to work with an absolute idiot who actually held a PhD in Computer Science. Lets just say your average luser is more tech savvy than this guy.
In the 5 years or so I spent in that company climbing from engineer to head of tech, he managed to get demoted from local MD, to GM, to just a sales ops director for a good reason.
What I can say about university degrees/ doctorates is literally that it only tells me the holder is literate, and has the tenacity to grind through 4 to 6 years of mindless studies.
Otherwise, it quite literally means nothing in practice in a general work environment.
I literally know business owners and hiring managers who'd throw away resumes from Masters/ PhD holders without reading them.
iacchi@reddit
And that's stupid as f**k as well.
Ben_DS@reddit
Different culture here. There's a lot of emphasis on academic qualifications over here that ends up being rather meaningless for the most part.
Due to the education system and culture here, most of those who end up with a Masters or PhD tend towards being unimaginative robots who lack initiative.
Many are also a pain in the arse to work with with their "I'm holier than thou" mindset just because they've been brought up surrounded by people who tell them that academic qualifications define their success (stereotypical Asian parenting is very real).
I've literally been rejected from job offers just purely because I don't have a degree despite the fact that I'm very well qualified in terms of experience and ace all my interviews; just because HR says the policy is that they require a Degree much to the chagrin of the hiring managers.
iacchi@reddit
Yes, that's also quite stupid. Experience can well replace any piece of paper. However I'll stand by the fact that it's stupid to not even interview someone and see how they actually are just because they do have that piece of paper. You can discard them later, but at least give them a chance.
This said, I thought your universities were decent in general, although it's true that we've had a PhD graduate from NTU in our lab for two years who hasn't done much at all the whole time...
Ben_DS@reddit
In terms of availability of knowledge and tools (e.g. equipment, connections to industry), sure, the local unis are good.
The problem is the culture here was (things are very slowly starting to change) basically based on the governance system of authoritarian democracy. i.e. Don't question authority, just follow the rules, don't be different/ think different.
As an example, I did go to a local uni for a year before I quit because I absolutely hated the way the system works.
During one of the classes, one of the questions the tutor asked was whether we could use DC power to run an AC motor. I said we could do it with pulse width modulation since the motor will still see it as AC waveform with a brief explanation on how the motor only sees the potential difference across the terminals and not in reference to the circuit ground.
The tutor shot it down saying it's too complex of a concept for a 101 class and then proceeded to explain that it can be done by rapidly switching on and off the power using transistors (basically the exact same thing as what PWM does).
So the only reason why my answer was shot down is because it doesn't conform exactly as per the script. So yeah.. That's pretty much how a lot of the locals have been moulded by our education system and societal pressure to conformity over individual expression.
i.e. You do what you're told. Don't do anything out of place even if you think it's better.
Sim Wong Hoo (founder of Creative Technology) once coined the term "No U-turn Syndrome" to describe this mentality.
Basically founded upon our traffic regulations where you cannot make a U-turn unless there's a sign that says you can do so. i.e You can or will only do something if you're told to do so.
Whereas in almost every other country, you can make the turn based on your individual judgement unless that's a sign specifically prohibiting this.
I have no doubts that the graduate in your lab is somewhat intelligent but you'll probably need to make additional efforts into pushing him/ her in order to tap on their abilities. Otherwise, it's just a case of them just doing routine work.
iacchi@reddit
I think he's left now, but basically to keep it vague we do research on class of products A using technology A. We wanted to start research on the same class of product but using technology B, so we hired him (he'd done research on technology B during all his PhD) to help us build up the lab and the equipment to do technology B, and then produce some class of products A. He's done next to nothing and failed to build a single working device in all the time he's been with us basically, despite that time being more than a year (for reference, I've also worked in technology B during my PhD but am now working on something else, so I can tell with knowledge that the project he was tasked to do was easily achievable withing the time frame).
Ben_DS@reddit
Ah.. That explains a lot.
Basically, he's worked with technology B producing something other than a class of product(s) in A category. He doesn't know how to leverage on the concepts to create new classes of products (basically a monkey see, monkey do mentality).
Happens a lot. The local education system literally stresses a lot on rote memorization and regurgitation (something that I hated all my life) rather than understanding of concepts and applications. That's how you end up with folks like these.
Case in point:
One of the largest projects I did for a government agency involved implementing network access control (for VPN) where-in the key requirement was to delegate access rights based on both the user and machine identities.
So they had users who were corporate staff (most trusted), and collaborators (part of joint-ventures or vendors etc.; less trusted). They also had laptops that were either conforming to corporate policies (more secure) and those that only complied with a sub-set for collaborators (less trusted).
Due to a lack of proper enforcement and governance, some collaborators were issued machines imaged with corporate images (hence, more secure machines). Likewise, some corporate users were issued machines that didn't comply with corporate policies.
Both machine types were registered in their Active Directory but were never grouped (like I said, lack of governance).
Big difference is that all machines complying with corporate policies have Symantec Endpoint Protection installed and registered with their SEPM server.
The directive from above was to start to implement access restrictions based on restricting network access rights based on both the identity of the user, and the identity of the machine:
E.g.
The Assistant head of Network dept decided and insisted it couldn't be done since they couldn't classify if a machine was compliant with corporate policies or not.
I literally had to tell him that all we needed to do was to ask for a list of computer hostnames from the Active Directory team (basically all machines), and a list of computers registered in the SEPM server.
By comparing the lists, we'd have a subset of machines that are registered in both (confirmed to be corporate machine type) and we could give that list to the Active Directory team to create a security group for filtering network access. This is relatively trivial to do since it's all CSVs that can be sorted and matched in Excel.
He still went back and harp on the fact that there are collaborators with corp machines - not a concern for CyberSec for this initial phase at all and this was made clear to us many times.
I lost track of how many times I had to repeat to him that it didn't matter because we're checking both the identity of the user and the machine - a collaborator would never have access to corp resources simply because their user identity would fail the check.
I even went out of the way to get his CIO to get approval from the board of directors that we agree to lock out any corporate users who weren't on the corp machine - it's trivial to direct them to helpdesk to re-image their machines when the time comes anyway.
I also got approval internally (as vendor) to offer him services F.o.C. for engineers who can script the cross-checks and setting up the import into the active directory security groups.
Literally, his only job was to contact the servers team folks to export these lists and work with our engineers to implement this. We even had the blessing of the board of directors so the servers team can't reject the request.
For over 3 months, he kept deflecting this duty and claiming it can't be done simply because it's out of the norm for his job duties. Eventually he just left the job before all the crap could hit the fan.
But that's what it is. Literally mindless sheep who are singularly unwilling to step out of the zone even if it's for something simple that actually benefits them. All because no one in authority is there to give them step-by-step instructions to get the job done.
iacchi@reddit
It's actually worse than that. In his PhD is was producing class of products A using technology B already. We literally asked him to keep doing what he was already, just to set up the lab environment to do so for us.
Ben_DS@reddit
Sounds like he could have had an undeclared NDA or non-compete from his research times.
Either that or he was thinking that he'd be out of a job once he completes the work and was just dragging things out.
Either way... that's one heck of a fella to have to deal with
iacchi@reddit
actually he was quite nice as a person. Just mostly useless research-wise :D
Ben_DS@reddit
I don't mean at a personal level. I meant more in a professional context since obviously someone has got to pick up the slack or the pressure from higher-ups or both
agent-squirrel@reddit
Hey a Singaporean! Hello from across the pond in Australia. I deal with our equivalent of AREN, AARNET quite regularly.
Ben_DS@reddit
Ah... Very cool.
I've been out of the game for over a year now on a sabbatical though I definitely do remember AARNET amongst others like KAUST (somewhat newer player) from my time as the pre-sales SA for the secondary PoP, DWDM expansion, and firewalls setup here.
I think I left the job just after we had started the expansion for the 100Gbps transcontinental link to Guam.
I rather love working with most of the AREN committee folks. Many of them, even the PhD holders are actually very humble, and innovative folks who are willing to break out of the mould to try new things.
If you've contacted our side on behalf of AARNET then you'd have been in contact with Simon and you'll know what I mean. He's a real awesome guy and pleasure to work with.
Can't say the same for their 'customers' (internal & affiliated users) though.
ConsistentWindow4450@reddit
Fully agreed, as a PhD holder myself.
In my discipline of engineering, it is often simply a result of being scared to go out and work after graduation.
capn_kwick@reddit
PHD - Piled Higher and Deeper.
Immediate-Season-293@reddit
Yes! I haven't heard that one in a long ass time.
Pretend-Shelter4662@reddit
Paper tiger
DoktenRal@reddit
PhD in rice, clearly
argentophidian@reddit
He's the Rice President of the company
DiodeInc@reddit
Asian. I'll delete it if that was uncalled for.
Shazam1269@reddit
It's worth the cost of the print job, so about $.0035.
maroongrad@reddit
underwater basket weaving.
Designer_Number_6919@reddit
Probably a PhD in Agriculture. That’s why he threw rice at his problem 😜
Prog9999@reddit
A phd is no substitute for common sense!
chroniclesoffire@reddit
That’s the problem… these days the PhD REPLACES common sense, and fills them with so much ego that they think they know everything.
In reality, most of them learned precious little outside their SME field, and being in college replaced their common sense with internet memes. Like rice saving equipment from liquid, for example.
DannyDTR@reddit
This. I worked technical support for a semi well-known tech company and the way that customers would say, “I am a Dr” or “I run a million dollar business” and argue with me instead of just following the basic instructions was shocking.
bobnla14@reddit
"But you do not have a PhD in computer science. Please follow my instructions and we will get you fixed up. Trying to figure a better way will only delay is, and I bet you really do not like delays. am I right? "
Stryker_One@reddit
Not even a Degree in Computering from GoogleBing?
bobnla14@reddit
No, then I would be calling them.
Astra3_reddit@reddit
https://matt.might.net/articles/phd-school-in-pictures/
Mehsterrry@reddit
Holy shit, what a rabbit hole that was!!
4DAttackHummingbird@reddit
I used to work at a college and a fellow staff member said “it’s like they trade common sense for some letters behind their name”
Itchy_Influence5737@reddit
I've worked in several places where indeed, it did seem to act as a suitable substitute.
Bunslow@reddit
fascinating, care to share?
The_Flying_Stoat@reddit
In hiring it's generally used as a proxy for intelligence. Hiring based on intelligence testing is legally dubious, so many HR departments just require a PhD when they need a smart person. Problem is, higher educational achievement doesn't correlate with intelligence as well as you might think.
redditusertk421@reddit
Looks like his PhD in English Lit is being used appropriately!
agent-squirrel@reddit
I work at university in IT. The PhD candidates and researchers are insanely smart in their field and are literally breaking new ground with their research. However, I do wonder how some of them tie their shoelaces in the morning…
meitemark@reddit
They either have kids that can help them or just use glue as any sane person would.
Stryker_One@reddit
Piled Higher and Deeper
Dougally@reddit
Pretty hardcore Dunce.
Fraerie@reddit
The thing that many people fail to understand is that a PhD demonstrates deep knowledge in a very narrow and specific topic. It doesn’t demonstrate genius or a breadth of knowledge on all topics.
emax4@reddit
Ironically, those with a PhD don't know this.
KnottaBiggins@reddit
What was his PhD in? Because it certainly had nothing to do with electronics, chemistry, or physics.
groveborn@reddit
It can be, but you'd need to convince his school. Unlikely.
mercurygreen@reddit
Yes, actually.....but mostly for fraud or misconduct about something with their degree.
emax4@reddit
Imagine that on a diploma...
mercurygreen@reddit
"Terms and conditions may apply. Subject to cancelation at any point."
Neue_Ziel@reddit
Had a guy brag about his engineering degree and called me to troubleshoot a temperature sensor and its attached Type K thermocouple.
Took the cover off the thermocouple cover and saw red and yellow for a type k, going into a terminal block, then copper 14 gauge wire coming out the other side for each wire.
Had to explain to the guy how thermocouples worked and was insistent it was our device.
Cue avoiding eye contact from him when I proved him wrong.
KelemvorSparkyfox@reddit
I had to read that twice. Then an old memory surfaced about why thermocouples work.
(In my defence, I'm old, and tomorrow I have a meeting with my boss's boss and HR to explain what a company that doesn't see the value in managed master data needs with a master data systems manager.)
TheJ-Train@reddit
He must have a PhD at Rice University.
emax4@reddit
Ba dum TSSS!
jjason82@reddit
A lot of the PhD'd that I've known are basically min-max builds IRL. They put all their stats into one extremely specific area, which they know more about than probably anyone else you're likely to meet except for another PhD in the same subject. However, they spent so much time and energy in that one thing that most things outside that sphere of knowledge they are at a 1 out of 10 at in terms of useful, everyday knowledge. It seems contrary to what you'd expect but a lot of PhD'd can be kinda dumb.
emax4@reddit
Believe it or not, I've thought about that before. Would be great to have a PhD in something, and share that information with others to benefit them. At the same time I understand about missing out on other aspects of life. This is why I believe that those with higher education have book smarts, but lack even the simplest of Street smarts.
falcopilot@reddit
When someone earns a PhD, they have proof that they know a LOT about a very tiny slice of something; sadly they too frequently believe that they know a LOT about EVERYTHING.
joe_attaboy@reddit
No, let him keep it.
"PhD" actually stands for "Piled High and Deep."
superkeys7@reddit
BS = Bull Sh.. MS = More of the Same PhD= Piled Higher and Deeper
Standard-Jaguar-8793@reddit
I’m lucky I have a BA and an MA. Whew!
TerminusEst86@reddit
Juice = sugar = rice ain't gonna help
Starfury_42@reddit
I've worked for Doctors and Lawyers. They are smart people - in their field. Bring in technology and a 10 yr old is more competent.
BDRfox@reddit
I have a masters myself. It only means I did the courses and passed the exams to get the degree. It doesn't mean I actually have to understand the material that was taught from the curriculum. And funny thing, all my degrees are business and have nothing to do with my IT career ;) I'm a K8S engineer too
rcp9ty@reddit
You should send them a packet of Silica Gel from the next hardware package you get with a label saying this isn't rice so please don't eat it.
Nevermynde@reddit
Fried laptop. 10/10 with rice.
TheGogmagog@reddit
Orange fried laptop with rice, even better.
Suitable-Platypus-10@reddit
Fried item and rice? Time to call Uncle Roger
cr101uk@reddit
And the users name - Jamie Oliver
NoIdeaForUserName001@reddit
I'm still waiting for a story, where someone used cooked rice.
wanderinginger@reddit
You mean it's supposed to be raw?!
Readem_andWeep@reddit
I put it in rice pudding, it should work now!
NoIdeaForUserName001@reddit
Cinnamon or Vanilla?
NotTheOnlyGamer@reddit
Well, cinnamon of course. I'm not a monster.
wubbalab@reddit
Well, it was a power issue after all. /s
NotTheOnlyGamer@reddit
Yeah. Brainpower.
RickRussellTX@reddit
I used to run the help desk at Rice University and never saw so much rice.
Naf623@reddit
PhD isn't any measure of intelligence or common sense lol.
Geminii27@reddit
"We'll send someone over to clean your juice and revoke your PhD."
KnottaBiggins@reddit
When I worked graveyard as a computer operator, my boss gave me something to keep me awake that night.
"Here, this laptop had water spill on it, it's dry now but still won't work. See what you can do."
I opened it up, and the motherboard was covered in a brown sticky substance. I carefully smelled it, then closed the thing up and put it aside.
When my boss came in the next morning (it was a 12 hour shift) I told him, "It wasn't water. It wad Dr. Pepper, I didn't even bother doing anything once I saw that. It's fried."
Soda is even worse than juice, I think it's even more acidic. And when an acid meets dissimilar metals, you get an electric flow. (It's called a "battery.") Juice or soda will create enough current to fry sensitive electronics.
joppedi_72@reddit
I mean, just because you have a Phd in philosophy doesn't mean I'll trust you in building suspension bridges...
harrywwc@reddit
but let us consider, is it a bridge?
SumoNinja17@reddit
PHD
Petty Hardcore Dunce
harrywwc@reddit
(shit) Piled Higher and Deeper
lotsalotsacoffee@reddit
WOW, a PhD??
It amazes me when users assume their education has bearing on a support issue.
I work for an MSP. One day, one of our clients experienced an internet outage. The ISP confirmed the outage was on their end and wouldn't be resolved until the next day. I called the client and let them know. The primary contact for the client thanked me for the info but stressed that she wanted prompt resolution and said "I have a masters in IT security, so I know how these things go". OK, sure lady.
I was also the on-call tech for that night. The same lady called in, because she couldn't VPN into her network. I called her and reminded her that her office internet was still down. Her response: "I have a masters in IT security, I don't need excuses, I need to remote in"
I replied, "I understand. Since you have a masters in IT security, I don't need to tell you your VPN requires an active internet connection to work, so you won't be able to use it until the ISP resolves your internet outage".
She sheepishly accepted that and hung up. I later learned that her "masters in IT security" was an MBA.
Tarlonniel@reddit
Perhaps from the same school which offers certificates of proficiency in computering.
Loko8765@reddit
Google Bing.
TinyNiceWolf@reddit
Could those be any more inconsistent?
Loko8765@reddit
It’s consistent with this at least.
Loko8765@reddit
It’s consistent with this at least.
Nu-Hir@reddit
Business Administration / IT Security, what's the difference?
year_39@reddit
Maybe, one of these days, people will accept that putting electronics in rice does absolutely nothing.
Sir_Jimmothy@reddit
I really like those snap docks; they're way better than the port replicators pretending they're docks.
TheJ-Train@reddit
But the real question is - Did your tech fix the power issue or not??
action_lawyer_comics@reddit
Look at this guy gloating at how good they are at their job but can't even fix a simple power issue. It's just wires after all!
sir_mrej@reddit
Just grab both ends at the metal bits, and let the power flow through you! Cmon it's not difficult.
action_lawyer_comics@reddit
Emperor Palpatine Voice: Yes, let it flow through you! Hahahahaha!
Glittering_Code_4311@reddit
Educated idiot
obscurestooge@reddit
Educated beyond their intelligence, as my friend likes to say.
newtonpens@reddit
An old shade tree mechanic I used to know called them educated bird brains.
anotheritguy@reddit
About 20 years ago I worked at a datacenter for a company that built and managed cell towers and such. My jib was pretty simple I was good at hardware and since no one else wanted to do it I would be the guy to fix your device. Now we had two types of users, field techs and engineers who were remote and on site and the usual office workers basically everyone else. Some worked remote some had to be on site but each had a laptop. We had two models we would use for about 3-4 years then upgrade. And to expedite repairs we had spares of each type to swap out if was a hardware issue. Swap hard drives and off they go. So I spent my days between swapping out hardware and repairing. One fine day a gentleman walks into my office and has a laptop that he "spilled coffee on" so I figure HDD swap and then look it over. I open it to find the keyboard melted beyond recognition. The conversation wen like this:
CLueless User = CU
Me: How hot was this coffee?
CU: regular temp
Me: OK so then how did the keyboard melt?
CU: Oh I tried to dry it off with a hair dryer
Me: Your hairdryer did this?
CU: well not mine one of yours
Me: As far as I know IT doesnt have any hairdryers, did you borrow it from a coworker?
CU: No I used the one of the ones in the warehouse. (He said with a very smug look)
So I had to think about this for a moment then came to a realization...
Me: Did you use the ones over by the staging area?
CU: Sure did
Me: The orange ones with the warning on the side about severe heat?
CU: Yeah thats the one
Me: Those are heat guns, they get to like 400 degrees or more.
CU: Well they really should have some sort of warning label
I just stared at him dumbfounded and got him a new device. They locked up any potentially dangerous equipment in a cage after that.
mercurygreen@reddit
When someone does the "I have a degree!" or "I used to do I.T." I want to ask them "IF YOU'RE SO SMART WHY ARE YOU CALLING?"
TraditionalTackle1@reddit
I used to do tech support at a University and dealt with crap like this all the time. I was so glad to get out of there.
daveysprockett@reddit
I was under the impression ricing made your PC prettier.
samamorgan@reddit
In my experience as a former support bro, PhDs and Venture Capitalists are the absolute worst customers to support.
Just follow these 3 simple steps, user. Stop second-guessing the literal expert you've reached out to for help.
subhuman_voice@reddit
Add attorneys to the list
UnicornBatteryStaple@reddit
Education does not equate intelligence
AJourneyer@reddit
There was a post today about how to respond to someone who says they have a higher IQ than you.
This. This post here.
You can't buy wisdom and common sense, apparently.
Peacewalken@reddit
And he wasn't fired or reprimanded in the slightest. Because they never are.
emmjaybeeyoukay@reddit
So it wasn't DNS?
maroongrad@reddit
gawd I wish they still had free rewards!
JoeDonFan@reddit
PhD's are the dumbest people on Earth.
(NOTE: OK, they're really not. But they think their degree gives them some Magical Power That Makes Them Understand All.)
Existential_Racoon@reddit
All a PhD says is that you're really knowledgeable on one tiny little thing, like "the correlation of mill grinding wheel size to surplus food availability in 1359".
And that's it.
maroongrad@reddit
EXACTLY. But you are ALSO supposed to figure out how the hell to do research and use logic by that point, or you couldn't find your sources and make sure they were solid. If you don't know it, you should know how the heck to find the answer somewhere, and verify. Not just claim knowledge of all! I can do a huge swatch of biology topics, a lesser swath of chemistry, and a good chunk of environmental stuff. I know enough computer stuff that, for awhile, I was the one cleaning out viruses and malware that coworkers installed! Anything else? Unless I got weirdly interested in it and looked it up, I expect to not know, BUT I should know where to look. That's what a PhD SHOULD teach you.
Casexcasey@reddit
"$10k over rice"
K1yco@reddit
Are you telling me that a computer fried this rice?
maroongrad@reddit
apparently with orange sauce.
Immediate-Season-293@reddit
Sounds delicious.
ThisIsAdamB@reddit
Is his PhD in rice? Otherwise it’s useless.
Hot-Win2571@reddit
He has it in a frame, so we can't tell if his PhD is in rice paper.
mantisae121@reddit
If he had a PhD in rice he would have known it wasn’t a cure all.
l0rdrav3n@reddit
Ahhh the magic rice technique
Hot-Win2571@reddit
Apparently he used regular rice, instead of magic rice.
iggzy@reddit
Reminds me of my first job out of college, that led to my IT career. I was Customer Support for a gaming company with a big online game. So like 65% of calls were technical from people that don't understand troubleshooting network or graphical issues on their end. It all has to be the company that has millions of others playing without issue. So most basic start was a trace route and a dxdiag to troubleshoot network (just the dxdiag if display or stuttering) and so many conversations went like this:
voxadam@reddit
It turns out having a PhD in English Literature isn't all that applicable to diagnosing and solving issues with complex electronics.
K1yco@reddit
To quote Chad Daniels: My wife has a Ph.D. in genetics. But that's it. She does not have a Ph.D. in everything, although you would not know that from talking to her,"
ITrCool@reddit
Please tell me PhD guy got chewed out or fired.
Immediate-Season-293@reddit
He put it in rice because he panicked, right? I mean, was he in a position where his boss wasn't going to yell at him for blowing that much tech up?
tetsu_no_usagi@reddit
But he's got a PhD, doesn't that fix everything?
/s