Cows kill significantly more people every year than sharks.

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idontspeak_burrito@reddit

You can't shake my stereotypes, shark is scary and cow is chill

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Sometimes that cow looks right at ya. Right into your eyes. And the thing about a cow is he’s got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes. When he comes at ya, he doesn’t even seem to be livin’… ’til he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then… ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin’. The ocean turns red, and despite all your poundin’ and your hollerin’ those cows come in and… they rip you to pieces.

Anyway, we delivered the bomb.

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Kevin33024@reddit

Anybody else read this in Quint's voice?

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citizen_of_leshp@reddit (OP)

So, 1100 men went I to the pasture that day…

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Waxman2022@reddit

How did that movie only get 1% on rotten tomatoes? I've never been back to that site since I saw that rating.

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AssaMarra@reddit

I read it in Charlie Day's voice!

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RequirementGeneral67@reddit

I believe that was the point

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graboidian@reddit

I'm pretty sure we all did.

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Old-Requirement4346@reddit

Well if we had lived in the ocean, this would have certainly been not the case

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Erik_Soop@reddit

Well, all that red meat sharks eat will eventually kill them.

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berserk539@reddit

That's not cow, it's soylent green.

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Larkson9999@reddit

People are the least efficient food source possible. An adult weighing maybe 200 lbs takes about 17 years of daily, varied foods to make into decent meat. Meanwhile a pair of potato seeds in a five gallon bucket will make two pounds of potatoes in under three months with mulch, water, and sunlight.

You could grow two hundred pounds of potatoes in a quarter an acre of land in one summer.

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berserk539@reddit

r/foundthepotato

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graboidian@reddit

It's people!

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pornborn@reddit

Cows With Guns

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Happydad1228@reddit

This just made my day thank you internet stranger

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Inside-Power333@reddit

I'll bring a shark to a cow so I'll change the stats

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Direct_Ad_9965@reddit

Well, I guess we know who the reaol apex predator is now...mooove over sharks!

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Tight-Tower-8265@reddit

No mames 😂

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yIdontunderstand@reddit

We're going to need a bigger tractor!

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tricky5553@reddit

Cows actually kill more people a year than sharks

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oldsguy65@reddit

I bet factoring in heart disease caused by eating beef, it's even more.

But there's nothing funny about that.

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GyaradosDance@reddit

I'm imagining a Far Side-like cartoon. Cow drives the tractor into the farm house. Farmer escapes without a scratch. Cow thinks "Close..."

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Miss_Speller@reddit

The first two on this page seem pretty apropos.

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ReadinII@reddit

Not that cartoon but still good:

https://www.reddit.com/r/comics/comments/2id1ih/the_odds/?rdt=42712

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Zestyclose-Exam1160@reddit

Should blow your mind, until you realize that most of the world lives inland and a lot of people never even set foot in an ocean.

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yirzmstrebor@reddit

First of all, that is the statistic that inspired this joke. Second, the reason for this is that there are far more interactions between humans and cattle on a daily basis than between humans and sharks.

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Erlox@reddit

Yeah, if humans regularly corralled thousands of sharks and stampeded them around then likely more people would die of sharks.

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Which-Adeptness6908@reddit

Stampeding is generally not the idea.

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jarheadatheart@reddit

Hence so many deaths

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ImaginarySeaweed7762@reddit

So cows do kill more as most shark attacks aren’t fatal but widely publicized.

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nano11110@reddit

These comparisons are meaningless.

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tricky5553@reddit

Stating they are meaningless is meaningless

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royhibbertlookstired@reddit

Growing up we had a cow. One time we were trying to corral it into a new paddock and it got into a bathtub that we had goldfish in, and it killed one. I know that’s not a shark but all I’m saying is don’t assume cows can’t tussle with marine life.

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