A rabbi, a Hindu priest, and a politician went on a hike
Posted by H343now1@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 19 comments
Night fell and they were exhausted. The hotel on the map was nowhere to be seen.
They knocked on the door of a farm and asked if they could spend the night.
The farmer said, “Of course, but I only have a small room with two beds. One of you will have to sleep in the barn.”
The Hindu priest said, “I need no material comforts. I will gladly take the barn.”
The rabbi and the politician were settling in when they heard a knock on the door. They opened it to find the Hindu priest standing there.
“So sorry, my friends, but there is a cow in the barn, and I cannot sleep beside such a holy animal.”
The rabbi said, “No problem, my brother. I’ll take the barn.
The Hindu priest and the politician were settling in when they heard a knock on the door. They opened it to find the rabbi standing there.
“So sorry, my friends, but there’s a pig in the barn, and I can’t sleep beside such a filthy animal.”
The politician said, “OK, let it be remembered that I sacrificed my comfort for the greater good.”
The rabbi and the Hindu priest were settling in when they heard a knock on the door. They opened it to find the pig and the cow standing there.
thraawaya@reddit
A hindu will consider it a privilege to sleep next to such a holy animal. Your joke fails.(source: I am hindu)
deleted_by_reddit@reddit
Can confirm. Hindus love sleeping with their deities!
thraawaya@reddit
If you mean it in a vulgar, then this is rude and uncalled for. If you mean it like sleeping in the presence of deities then sure.
propane_penicillin@reddit
I’m Hindu and I love eating cows.
thraawaya@reddit
Are you a practising hindu? Do you recognize the cow as a symbol of purity and worship?
propane_penicillin@reddit
Practising Hinduism? What’s that lol?
I do recognise it as a good source of food.
thraawaya@reddit
"Pracitising Hinduism" is recognizing that the cow represents mother nature quite literally through her actions of givin us her milk. It involves respecting her and trying to protect her from people trying to kill and eat her. Now, I'm not saying that you need to be Hindu, you can be of any religion. But its only Hindus that have a unique relationship with nature, and venerate all forms of it. Apart from cows, we also venerate the Tulsi tree and the ganga river, the Sun and the earth, I'm sure you find these practices risible as well?
propane_penicillin@reddit
Convenient to forget pagans as worshippers of nature. But that’s your definition of what practising it is. The ‘no true Scotsman’, in this case, ‘Hindu’
thraawaya@reddit
Pagans were converted into Christianity/Islam. Hindus haven't been converted yet, mostly because we defend our religion instead of trying to dilute it. And whats your definition of Hinduism? Have you mastered all the vedas? Do you go to the temple every week? Can you recite the Bhagwat Gita from heart? Are you pure vegetarian/vegan? If you dont do a single thing to be called a Hindu, and also actively call for the destruction of cows, then it'd be better for everyone if you identified as a Chrisitan/muslim rather than a hindu.
propane_penicillin@reddit
Wow you really spiralled. So you’re saying that the majority of people who would say they’re Hindu actually aren’t because they have not read them vedas’. Virtually all Hindus then.
You’ve got some ways to go, friend.
I’m an atheist btw, haven’t got it changed from Hindu officially yet.
thraawaya@reddit
Of course you're an atheist :), BTW in Hinduism there are levels of participation traditionally, Brahmins participated the most, so they followed the strictest rules, with respect to learning the vedas, maintaining hygiene(brahmins were the original social distancers), and conducting the societal morals. Then Kshatriyas, then vaishyas, shudras, and finally outcastes, who refused to follow any rule. Right now, I'm partially a Brahmin because I follow the hygiene rules, am vegetarian and can recite 5-10 shlokas. But I don't mind atheists, as long as they don't actively try to pull down Hinduism, then I don't see any differencw between an atheist, christian, muslim etc.
propane_penicillin@reddit
yes, hinduism is a farce like any other religion, why bother? ecks dee. sure, there are levels of participation: some hindus don't practise much else other than the major festivals. that too in a halfway manner. what's a partial brahmin? you're either one by birth or you're not. being vegetarian is your excuse? are you aware that bengali brahmins are allowed to consume meat and fish? also, that brahmins were served meat and wine back before irrationality started consuming the masses? (plenty of recorded evidence for this)
also, you're not a brahmin or jain because you follow 'the hygiene rules'. you follow them because surely your common sense tells you to keep clean. i could memorize shlokas and recite them too, would that qualify me to be a "partial brahmin"?
i'm guessing that's your own arbitrary head-canon. there IS a difference, i choose to believe in one less religion than you, out of the hundreds that are out there. all of it is a funny con at the end of the day so we're better off without it.
you'll realise why there's no need for religion once you become capable of disowning it. :)
thraawaya@reddit
Hinduism isn't really a religion per se. Its just a bunch of ways of finding God. If you can find Him any other way good luck to you, and if you can't its your loss really - the pursuit of God realization is actually the pursuit of peace. If you find peace some other way props to you. The hygiene rules are important, like this coronavirus pandemic will show you. Socal distancing is what was called as untouchability :P. Anyway, I got confused, I was responding to some guy who wanted to kill and eat cows and still call himself a Hindu. If you're an atheist you can do whatever you want, you're not my concern really.
propane_penicillin@reddit
Implying you can’t find peace without finding god? I mean if you’re looking for morals in fairy tails that’s fine. Carry on.
As for the other guy, if he isn’t killing another human being, why are you so concerned? You do know you can’t convince people online to live the way you do, right?
You also ‘kill’ a lot of small insects and microbes ingested accidentally. Would that mean a practising Jain is superior to you morally? :p
thraawaya@reddit
No, implying that Finding God is just another way of saying 'finding peace'. Bhakti Yoga is just one of the many paths, there is also gyan yoga(the path of action), karma yoga(the path of action), raja yoga(the path of meditation). But it'll probably take me a lifetime to find out all the different ways of finding peace when I could actually be following a path for peace. But anyway, you do you.
propane_penicillin@reddit
you meant gyan yoga"the path of knowledge*" (ironically funny)
Your implication is erroneous. it's not another way, they're different things. Consider this (and set aside your rosy semantics): a murderer can also claim to be at peace after his deed is done. a soldier could claim the same after killing a terrorist who'd been holding hostages. who are you to say otherwise? are they finding god that way?
basically, if they were the same, i could claim that "i feel content and peaceful, hence I have found god(s)". Or vice versa, "god(s) came to me in a vision/dream, hence i am at peace".
The only interpretation of your mental gymnastics that could make sense is: once you die, you're at peace/are with god. and only since you can't prove that to be right or wrong, so it's a very weak nonsensical argument.
I grow weary, i'll just leave you this: "Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?" - Epicurus
The lines above bring me a sense of boundless peace, ease my anxiety, keep me from wavering toward irrational beliefs. I guess that means since i'm at peace, I've found god(s), nirvana and all that good shit then? Yay :D
thraawaya@reddit
Here's something you might not know. I'm well versed with the Epicurean paradox :) so its not as "gotcha" as you'd hope if to be. The interventionist God is a Abrahamic construct. Hinduism subscribes to Vishishta Advaita Vedanta. Now go research on that, or continue living in your bubble. You're not my responsibility, so I'm not going to waste any more time to you. Like I said find your own path to peace, if rejection of bhakti yoga and blinding yourself to all other paths gives you peace, go right ahead.
Andrewmatlock89@reddit
Well hinduism is a composite religion. It evolved from many tribal, ritualistic, folk, vedic, and philosophical traditions that gradually came together over the years
Upbeat_Ad_4360@reddit
It's a joke, guys . . . the laughter is on the politicians, not on Jews or Hindus or whatever . . . lighten up