FamousWerewolf

And yet whenever we see school results getting better, everyone just seems to take it as proof that exams have gotten easier!

I was thinking about this the other day, apparently these days all kids at school have a water bottle and certainly as an adult I drink water at my desk all day. But when I was a kid, I would literally have one little bottle of apple juice that was warm by the time I drank it at lunchtime, and a few sips from the water fountain, and that was it for a whole day of running around and screaming at each other. I must have been so dehydrated all the time, no wonder it was hard to stay focused in class! Seems mad in retrospect.

"I know the mother would not allow or want me to contact her if I asked" - that's a bit of a dealbreaker, isn't it? Are you asking for good ways of contacting her without the mother knowing? Because frankly that's not a good idea. I feel like you're leaving a lot of details out of this (the fact that the mother didn't just leave you but *left the country*, and doesn't want anything to do with you is a bit of a red flag) but even taking you entirely at face value... what right do you have to get in touch with her? You agreed to let your child leave your life completely and have no further contact with her mother. 15 years later, she's grown up entirely without you. She doesn't just think this guy is her father, he *is* her father - he's the one that raised her. What right do you have to march back into her life now unannounced? Especially purely on the basis that now she's back in the UK it's convenient for you, when you previously don't seem to have made any effort to contact her? I think at most what you should do is just send a message to the mother saying that you'd be interested in seeing your daughter and asking politely if she'll pass along your contact details so she can choose to reach out or not. If she blocks you and deletes the message... so be it. But no good is going to come of trying to find some underhanded way to get in touch with a 16 year old who doesn't even know who you are against the express wishes of her family.

In the nicest way possible... there's British politeness, and then there's conflict avoidance. If you can't even get someone to move out of your reserved seat successfully - and feel so hopeless in that situation that you have to come to Reddit for advice - then you've become meek to the point of it seriously impacting your life. Normal existence in human society does involve some awkwardness and you should be able to endure at least a bit before caving and looking for some kind of magical no-contact solution. A bit of self-reflection is called for here. Whether therapy is appropriate or not is something that's impossible to judge just from a Reddit post, but at the very least I'd be looking for ways to build your confidence in situations like this going forward.

I'm in the same situation and honestly I'm yet to find something. A pint of fizzy drink is more than enough for one evening and even something like fruit juice is too much to just have drink after drink of. I love a ginger beer but I can't drink them all night. Really what I want is just squash but it's not like they serve that haha. Sadly, between that and getting out of the habit of it during covid, I've basically just stopped going to the pub regularly at all, and when I do go, I don't stick around for more than a couple of drinks. I look for other opportunities to socialise, like going out for a meal or doing a social hobby like board gaming. So I guess that's my advice, is that there's more to life than pubs and bars and you can basically leave those to people who still enjoy alcohol and go do your own things instead.

I mean if I could completely change absolutely everything, I'd probably be looking at serious political issues like reforming our voting system or giving a proper left-wing party an actual chance at power... but I'm guessing you're more looking for less hot-button issues. In terms of day-to-day life I think one of the biggest problems in the UK is public transport. Buses are broadly ok but our train system is ludicrous compared to other similar countries in Europe. Awful service and just unbelievably expensive for what it is. It's so desperately in need of a huge overhaul of both the infrastructure and the companies themselves and I always think tourists must be absolutely shocked at how poor it is when they come here.

You're comparing some of the most extreme heatwaves in our history to what has now become regular summer weather. Yes, right now, today, we are not at the height of the 1976 heatwave - that doesn't mean we're not overall experiencing overall unusually hot and unpredictable summers and the hottest days on record. You're cherry picking your data and comparisons. Look at a list of the hottest days ever in the UK and the top 5 are all from the last 5 years. There are countless other metrics by which we can point to the weather having changed over our lifetimes.

I'm afraid you're the one that has misinterpreted how climate change works. While global temperature has only gone up by about 1C, the effects of that are causing our summers to get much more than 1C hotter. Those global changes in the climate are causing localised changes in our weather. It's not confusing climate for weather - the two are directly connected. It's simply a matter of record that we're experiencing hotter summers, more heatwaves, record temperatures, unusual weather patterns, more serious storms and flooding, etc. And it's personally observable.

We have definitely crossed the point where climate change isn't a matter of trusting the experts anymore, it's something you can simply observe in your own life. I'm only in my 30s but I have seen the weather in the UK change significantly over my lifetime. Which makes it even more frustrating that it gets boiled down to stupid "snowflakes can't handle a hot summer" nonsense instead of proper discussion of what we're going to do. Like even if you don't care about the wider global implications of climate change, we're far past the point where we should be seriously talking about adapting UK infrastructure to changing conditions at a far faster rate. Our houses, our rail tracks, our farms, etc are not remotely equipped for this heat (or the sudden snow/frost we now get elsewhere in the year) and living in denial about it is helping no one. So, yeah, very concerned!

I mean, OP is a common denominator here - that's just a fact, that's not opinion or inherently a statement of judgement. It simply means they are one of the recurring factors in each scenario. That doesn't mean I'm saying OP is an asshole, it just means that if you're repeatedly finding social situations are going wrong in the same way, one of the few consistent factors there is yourself, and often that bears thinking about. OP says they were nothing to do with the drama, but people often think that. But even if we take that completely at face value - is OP picking the wrong people to hang out with, or somehow approaching these situations in a way that isn't helping? As I say, it really shouldn't be common for trips to the pub to regularly end in major arguments, unless you're hanging out with very unstable or aggressive people. And I didn't say that everyone in the entire country is polite, I just said we trend towards being polite and friendly, which IMO is true. No country is free of unfriendly people, but I've found the UK to be much more polite than many other countries I've visited. Who knows what the real situation is here, we only have a reddit post to go off. All I'm saying is that with the few details we have here, it's worth looking inward as well as outward. What is the stance you're taking here? That the UK is just inherently anti-social and it's impossible to make friends here? If your feeling is that OP can't be doing anything wrong here then that seems to be the only conclusion, and frankly I just think it's patently not true.

That's not what I said. I just said that OP is the common denominator and that's worth self-examining. Maybe they're the problem, maybe they aren't, maybe it's a bit of both. I think that's just as valid an avenue to think about as concluding that an entire country is impossible to be social with.

I think pettiness and passive aggressiveness are one thing - I'm definitely not making Brits out to be perfect - but I certainly wouldn't consider it normal for trips to the pub to regularly turn into arguments so bad that a newcomer is never invited back again.

Maybe it comes down to the specific company you keep, but I feel like even after a few drinks, for a group to actually get into a serious argument with a newcomer to the point that they're never welcome again... that feels unusual. For that to happen to the same person multiple times... at that point I think it is worth asking, is this person doing something wrong, rather than just deciding it must be because an entire country is impossible to be friends with.

Yeah I was gonna say - there may well be some cultural clash here, but I would say British people trend towards being polite and friendly (even if sometimes that can be a bit fake). If things keep going wrong this badly, the common denominator is OP, and that's worth self-examining.

It's always been boring. I watched it as a child at the time and thought it was the most dull cartoon available.

The fact that all the top comments are things that are very much still around feels very revealing of the British spirit.

Definitely not allowed, potentially illegal depending on exactly what he was doing. But this is the same candidate who recently had to apologise for laughing and joking on a podcast about hitting women. He's a wrong 'un and, based on interviews I've seen, a self-absorbed moron, so this is all very on-brand, particularly the flash car.

Honestly that sounds like none of your business then. Fair enough if you disagree with his parenting style, I'd probably agree, but what makes you think you need to get involved here? You can hardly go around telling everyone you meet how they should be raising their kids and you don't know anything about his family or situation.

"Being nasty" is very vague - what do you mean? If he's just a bit of an arsehole then there's nothing to gain by getting involved but grief. If he's being seriously abusive, particularly if he's getting physical, perhaps tell someone at hotel reception and see if they think it's worth them calling the police. You really don't want to be involving yourself directly unless you think the children are in serious danger, and even in that case I would ask yourself seriously whether you think you're the best judge of that, especially given there might be cultural differences at play here.

I'm not sure if that is the case but if it is then yeah I think the answer is just what you've said there - people are generally more plugged in about food safety and hygiene, standards are higher for food sold in shops and restaurants, and medicine has advanced. It'll also come down to your personal drinking habits - people who binge drink every week are still vomiting plenty. Also worth keeping in mind that the lockdowns aren't that long ago - I think most people have had far fewer periods of illness generally over the last 5 years because they haven't been going out as much, interacting with people who are sick, eating food they didn't prepare themselves, etc as they normally would have in that sort of span of time.

There's a lot of centrism in this country, and mostly centrism just boils down to "Yes some things are bad but they're very complicated so trying to change them is naive and the responsible adult thing to do is ignore them". Or, in short, "I don't care and I'm smug about it". This one in particular infuriates me too, because the premise of the argument is so flawed. "If we tax the companies they'll leave and stop benefiting us!" - ok, why don't we stop and measure the actual benefit to the average person of big companies that exploit our public services while not paying towards them, hire people and pay them like shit and don't even let them have proper toilet breaks, and lobby for ever more unfair laws and regulations to help themselves? It's completely stuck in this totally unexamined "Big company here good" mindset.

They would've been noticeably grey if they were raw. Translucent and mushy doesn't indicate uncooked - it sounds like these were just crap quality frozen prawns that they do no prep work to. No notable fish restaurant would be selling raw prawns, that's a fast track to getting shut down. It's pretty worrying if this place genuinely has managers who don't understand the difference, though they may have misunderstood your question - if you asked "are the prawns in this prawn cocktail cooked?" I can understand that he might have thought you meant "are they supposed to be hot?" and thought that was a funny question to ask about a famously cold dish. Either way though it sounds like a crap restaurant.

It's not a tradition in the UK no, and I'd say considering how buttoned up we are as a culture most UK men would find it quite embarassing and awkward to be kissed like that. Men and women kissing each other on the cheek is more of a thing but I'd say even that is a very older generation thing. It's the sort of thing that's much more normal in Mediterranean cultures like Spain and Italy, I believe - are you sure he's from the UK? To be honest, from the way you describe his other behaviour, it does make it sound like he took your gifts as a possible romantic gesture and is testing the waters of whether you'd want to stay in touch. I don't say that like "If a man kisses another man's cheek it's gay", but the excitement, hugging, "message me anytime", etc all does sound kind of flirty to me. You may have inadvertently been giving off some signals.

He didn't end the character, he still tours with it regularly and he's got a new TV show with the character in.

I really don't get Wagamama's popularity either. Shit chain restaurants make sense when they're cheap, convenient, and comfortable, but Wagamama's combines awful food with high prices and a dreadful dining experience. It's so, so far below the food you'll get at almost literally any other Japanese restaurant available. But then I also don't get why Dominos is the most popular pizza place when they're outdone by any greasy local independent pizza shop.

Time to quit drinking - or at least the kind of heavy drinking that gives you a hangover. This country has a ridiculously unhealthy relationship with alcohol that makes quitting more awkward than it should be, but I stopped drinking at all a few years back and it's honestly been a big relief. No hangovers, social events are much cheaper, I don't make a fool of myself, and I feel healthier and happier. It doesn't have to be a core part of your life if you don't want it to be.

100% him - he went from being an absolutely inescapable presence on TV to utterly disappearing almost overnight when the story broke, and his attempts at a comeback have all failed miserably. Can't think of many other UK celebs that have been that ubiquitous and then rejected by the public that completely.

Same with all those 'own a bit of the moon!' schemes and other nonsense like that.

I think the biggest disconnect here is that people from the US don't seem to recognise any food as being from the UK unless it's the most stereotypical English dish possible (e.g. fish and chips, beans on toast, etc). They completely ignore all the cuisine in the UK that bears the influence of other cultures. For example, our tradition of curries and other Indian-inspired dishes. I bet there aren't many Americans who know that chicken tikka masala was invented in the UK and has been eaten here for probably 60 years or more. So in their mind, UK food is just potatoes and sausages with no spices, as if we're still living in Victorian times (which is how they see us). It's completely hypocritical, because all the foods America is most proud of come from outside influence in just the same way. Pizzas from Italy, tex mex from Mexico, hot dogs from Germany, etc.

This was my takeaway from a visit to the states - all of the food that was available was incredibly sweet, usually with no other seasoning than the sugar. Everything tastes like cake. If that's the flavour profile you're used to, anything genuinely savoury is going to feel like it's missing something vital.

I always do this too. Mentioned it to my mother the other day and yeah she reacted like I was some kind of OCD clean freak. Really surprises me that seemingly most people don't do it - you have no idea where that t-shirt has been before it gets to you!