How were you humiliated as a child?

Posted by wtfitlphm@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 333 comments

The year is 1990 I was 9 years old, I innocently asked my parents how I could clean my recently acquired tv that I got for Christmas. I was informed that they didn't have the necessary equipment and that I should ask the neighbour for some "elbow grease" As you can imagine, much hilarity ensued and I was the butt of the family joke. I called my older brother a "twat" and was sent to my room. To this day it pisses me off and I always promised I would never mock my kids and I never did (I love my family and this is a lighthearted post) What lingering humiliation do you still cling to from childhood?

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mr_meeseeekks@reddit

My parents got divorced when I was around 6/7. My mom got super depressed and we went to live with my uncle. I was a good student and adjusted to a change in life easily. But I wasn’t able to emotionally feel close to anyone. I acted out at times and Every one always asked me if I hate my mom or if I have a problem with her and my answer was always no. Anyway fast forward 5-6 years. my uncle was a very dominating, “spiritual” person who forced his “self realisations” on others. Cause he wanted to be a “mirror” for them. He had his girlfriend and her own kids living with us. Every single day from the age of 13-18 I have been sat down in front of who ever comes home or just the “family” (I didn’t even like my aunt and her kids) and humiliated and talked about how I wasn’t enough and how I act out and how I have never proved myself to be better anything other an a failure. And I mean, ever. Single. Day. My mom worked at the time and wasn’t home much plus she was dealing with her second separation, so she couldn’t speak up for me so shit. So I started to resent her silently. Even now I’m 26, being around my uncle makes me rage out and angry to another level. Because even now he takes every chance he has to talk about my failures and fuck ups and publicly make sure I know I’m a nobody. And that he “had such big dreams for me”. He’s never let a single guest go without first humiliating me in front of them. He does that even now. Thankfully I have gotten away from him now: but I have a lot of difficulty managing emotions and forming relationships or genuine emotional connections with anyone. Even now. If (my boyfriend) makes me feel unwanted or judged, I get fits of rage. That are uncontrollable. Instead of understanding where that stems from obviously he just left me like everyone does but yeah. Humiliation I would say is the worst. It destroyed my self confidence, any ounce of self respect I had, I have zero self esteem. No self love. No sense of who I am, no identity to cling to. Nothing. On top of that my uncle preached enlightenment and made me too aware as a kid of things that I wasn’t ready for that left me too vulnerable and confused and sensitive. I fought all of that wit rage which I cannot control. But I did it to survive. Now I’m 26 and I’m just now figuring out the full impact of it has had on me and my mental health. Do not humiliate kids.

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karen_in_nh_2012@reddit

When I was 8 or 9 and we were living in the UK (Mom was British, stepdad was in the military and we were stationed at Alconbury), I was fascinated by my developing body (such as it was, LOL!). After a bath one night, I stood in front of a little mirror, dropped the towel, and stared, fascinated. Then I danced a little because I thought it was fun. I was giggling the whole time. I had no idea my mom had come upstairs and was watching me. She was horrified and furious at my "slutty behavior," and later that night when the whole family was in the living room, she started a discussion about what we kids (there were 5 of us, all girls) wanted to be when we grow up. She started by saying, "Karen wants to be a striptease artist." I was totally humiliated in front of the whole family. What's even worse is that I thought I DESERVED IT at the time for being fascinated by my own naked body -- there was clearly something shameful about that! Well, no, there ISN'T anything shameful about it and there wasn't in the late '60s either. I'm in my 60s now and the idea of anyone EVER doing that to a kid is just mind-boggling cruel to me. My mom died 5 years ago ... she wasn't a great parent (my childhood was chaotic, scary, unstable, insecure for lots of reasons, not just her) but I think she MOSTLY tried her best. Not this time, though.

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dollimint@reddit

As a young teenager, I used to write. I had a novel I was writing, a shitty sci fi about multiple personalities and how a certain kind of crystal could essentially filter those personalities through like the colours of a prism. I wrote it compulsively, taking this tatty A4 notebook with me. One time, me and my stepbrothers were taken out to some woodland area to go hang out in the forest whilst the parents went around a garden center and when we came back to the car, my mum was reading it and laughing at it. Making fun of the 'admittedly awful but I was 14' dialogue.

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Aiyon@reddit

Did this cause you to stop writing as much? I used to draw all the time. Like, I would fill out A5 sketchbooks every month or two, level of drawing. Originally I got given one of them to keep me from turning my exercise books into a canvas. The only teacher who wasn’t supportive of this pastime was, weirdly, my art teacher. Who no matter what I drew, or how much effort I put in, only ever had criticisms, never anything positive to say. And by the time I was choosing GCSEs it had kinda killed my enjoyment of drawing. And now as an adult every time I try to draw anything, physical or digital, I get in my own head because I fixate on all the flaws and give up before I get anywhere.

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dollimint@reddit

I hadn't really thought about it actually, but yes. I stopped writing anything long. i'd occaisionally do a poem or two, but i'd never keep them.

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breadandfire@reddit

To get back at her...next week mum reads a story plot about how a terrorised teen hacks off his mum's toes.

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Aggravating-Room6009@reddit

That comment is the definition of both diabolical and devious.

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Odd-Weekend8016@reddit

I loved writing as a kid and teenager, but was always terrified of anyone actually reading it.

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7ootles@reddit

You should get back to it. It's an interesting story concept and I'd read it

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dsailes@reddit

Sounds cool, should keep writing it!

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maddog232323@reddit

I'm sure it was nervous laughter... All this time that's been in the presence of a deep, tortured soul with an innate knack for penmanship and they didn't even know it!

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98thRedBalloon@reddit

I auditioned for a play with the local amateur drama group, another girl got the role instead. I wasn't too bothered because I knew I wasn't the best at acting, so I hadn't expected to get it. The director pulled me aside after they announced the roles and whispered to me, "You were better in your audition. But you're too fat". I was 12 years old.

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Aiyon@reddit

The worst part of this for me is knowing that he thought he was doing you a favour. Like, in his head this was the motivation you needed. Vs “if you’re not skinny enough for my liking, you can’t have nice things” Vs how it actually feels, which is “you can’t have ncie things idc

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98thRedBalloon@reddit

It was a female director, and I'm not sure her motivation was anything more than just putting a young girl down! She was fairly bitter and nasty in general. I don't do any acting anymore, but I miss it!

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Aiyon@reddit

That's fair, it was presumption on my part that it was a guy. A lot of the weirdly judgy comments on my weight have come from guys so it was habit x) But yeah that sucks, im sorry. I hope you find a good avenue to get back into acting <3

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schmerg-uk@reddit

Won't list the many instances of my own upbringing but yeah.. "*don't punish the behaviour you want to encourage*" (by sarcasm or mocking etc or even the well meaning but destructive "*see how easy that was, so why can't you do that all the time?*") is one of my self-imposed rules of parenting and TBH most of my relationships personal and professional.

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TomSurman@reddit

*leaves bedroom* "Look who finally decided to grace us with their presence!"

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SamVimesBootTheory@reddit

"Oh we actually have a girl" because I'd actually found a dress I'd liked and took a chance on wearing one despite essentially swearing off dresses and skirts at around age 9 In hindsight it was weird as a few times my mum got on me about not liking skirts/dresses and said I was being difficult by not wearing them despite the fact she never wore them either (Jokes on her late soul though as I'm going through my overdue goth phase that was denied to me and have found actually my agender self quite likes a nice gothy skirt/dress probably bc I'm doing it on my terms and not ya know being forced into it)

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Aiyon@reddit

Where do you shop for your gothy stuff? :3 My city used to have an alt shop but it’s gone so I only have online now usually

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SamVimesBootTheory@reddit

Mostly online too really a lot from vinted But thankfully Canterbury isn't too far from me and they still have an alt shop going Other than that in person is Brighton or Camden

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Aiyon@reddit

Ayyy, we love Camden. I assume you've been to SaiSai already? :3 I'm too tall/broad for a lot of their stuff but i still love it

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lpmliam@reddit

At least you've got the best username on reddit. So there's always that! Just make sure you invest in good goth boots 👍

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33_pyro@reddit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PRGaf-m1V54

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schmerg-uk@reddit

I know, fucking kills me, and then they wonder why their kids just....

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Comfortable_Dish5983@reddit

*toodaloooo motherfuckaaaaaas* Bam, NC! Shocked pikachu face

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Odd-Weekend8016@reddit

Yep! I was on a train a few years ago, and a toddler was having a full-on screaming meltdown. Mum seemed to be at the end of her rope, so was letting her cry it out. But then every time the wee girl calmed down and stopped crying, her mum would sarcastically say: "Is that you finished now?!" And the screams would start up all over again. Mum turned a short tantrum into an hour-long ordeal for all involved, including everyone else on the train, through her snarky response.

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TinyDemon000@reddit

Hey this is sound advice. Thanks for sharing me :)

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Rowanx3@reddit

Mum and dad used to say, if you’re struggling to shit, push down on your head. Child me thought yeah, that makes sense, bit like a mechanical pencil. Problem is, child me became late teen me, then was constipated one day at 21 during lockdown, asked my mum, dad and two sisters ‘I haven’t had a shit for like 4 days now, pushing on my heads not helping, what do i do?’ I still don’t live that one down. Whenever i go to share a fun fact and they don’t believe it the go ‘yeah and pushing your head helps you shit’

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Aiyon@reddit

Kegged?

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OneFisherman9541@reddit

That is actually hilarious

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SamVimesBootTheory@reddit

Actual thing that can help Get one of those small plastic household steps/stools stick it under your feet it adjusts your body position to something more natural as it helps you squat and leads to less straining

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PeterJamesUK@reddit

There is so much Australian in this post...

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AutumnSunshiiine@reddit

Many times by relatives and teachers, who thought that I knew stuff I didn’t. “Don’t you ever do that to me again!!!!!!” when my mum had taken me to a market stall and I’d wanted specific branded makeup — I was probably about 10. Maybe younger. I didn’t know that the market stall only had cheap “brands”; I’d never asked for makeup before and had never been told. I got a bollocking for something like I’d done it on purpose when I hadn’t. There were many other instances too, where I don’t recall the details but I do recall getting yelled at when I genuinely didn’t know why.

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MyNewAccountx3@reddit

Yes I got the same! The one that stands out for me the most was at sea world and I must have ordered chicken nuggets or something and for whatever reason my mum was angry at me and was shouting that I had better eat it all, then the next thing I fainted and was being sick with heat stroke and she was still mad at me. Honestly, there isn’t always bad intent behind a child’s actions!!

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wellyonaplate@reddit

There is rarely bad intent behind a child's actions. Or I suppose conscious bad intent. I'm sorry that happened to you.

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Aiyon@reddit

I’d caveat that that some do. But Most of the time if your kid has bad intentions, you’ve done something wrong. Very few of them get it from nowhere

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Odd-Weekend8016@reddit

Ah yeah, I remember that feeling. I remember once (I was about 10) my mum was talking to a friend of hers, and I was within earshot. They were talking about another friend of theirs, and my mum said something like "Yeah, I saw her a couple of weeks ago." And all I said was "it was last week." Next thing I know my mum and I are storming down the road and my mum's saying "don't you EVER correct me in front of another adult. Don't you EVER butt in. Don't EVER embarrass me like that." To this day, I still don't know why it mattered whether she saw the friend last week or the week before, or why she thought I'd chimed in to embarrass her on purpose.

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Ohmalley-thealliecat@reddit

My mum once lied and I got the same spiel!!! It was raining really hard, surprisingly hard for the time of year, and we were waiting for my aunt to come out of the supermarket. When we were talking about it at home, mum said that I’d said “can’t we just leave her and go home” and when I said “no I didn’t” I got a talking to in the kitchen after

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flashbastrd@reddit

One Christmas when I was about 6, my sister got a big dolls house which my mum intended to be a big surprise (didn’t tell me). I come down Christmas morning and see the dolls house about 10 seconds before my sister and because I’m excited for her I say something like “omg you’ve got a dolls house”. My mum got so angry that I had “spoiled” the surprise. Never understood why, sister was happy as anything and nothing was spoiled. For years she would bring it up about how I ruined the surprise. When I was like 25 I finally asked why she was so upset etc and had to explain that I wasn’t maliciously trying to ruin my sisters surprise. She genuinely thought I had malicious intentions like wtf

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swungover264@reddit

Ooh, this kind of thing really riles me. I once got massively bollocked by my mum for "bringing up money around other people" because I'd asked her for the cash for a school trip in front of her friend. She'd already said I could go, it was only a tenner, and we weren't struggling or anything. But apparently, I'd broken some archaic social rule that I never knew existed at 8 years old, and that was unacceptable.

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Positive-Mammoth7187@reddit

When I was 8. My dad read out my diary about how I liked a girl in my soccer team. I wrote a poem and hid the book under my mattress. Read it to the whole family at Christmas lunch 🤦‍♂️😭

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Mountain-Scallion246@reddit

On holiday, my mum and nan read my diary out loud. They laughed at the bit where I had my first crush on a boy down my street. It turned out my mum frequently read it. I was 11. I have trouble trusting people who break trust and laugh at others. I'm 51 this month.

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Positive-Mammoth7187@reddit

Oh god… it’s like it’s out of a bad movie isn’t it! What were they thinking 🥲 Sorry that happened for you.

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Mountain-Scallion246@reddit

Families have no boundaries. Reading these posts , there's a lot of trauma due to entitlement and ignorance just because you're a 'unit'.

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Mountain-Scallion246@reddit

Thank you. That's very kind of you x

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throwaway_monopoly@reddit

My parents never sent me to school (for conspiracy theory reasons) and we lived in a remote part of the countryside so I wasn't really around other kids and taught myself to read using books we had in the house. All of this combined to make a kid with a really wide vocabulary but with no idea how to pronounce most of the words. To this day I'm still regularly finding out words I've been pronouncing wildly wrong my whole life - people don't make as much fun of me for it now as they used to, but it was absolutely brutal as a kid. I got a lot of shit for it from other kids and adults who thought it was hilarious and made a huge deal out of it, called me all sorts. Never gets any less humiliating.

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SeeYa-IntMornin-Pal@reddit

Jeez man you’ve held a grudge for a fairly common practical joke for nearly 35 years. Time to let it go. Something like you’ve described is hardly a traumatising life event. Light teasing teaches children humility and how to accept embarrassment and frustration whilst also hopefully letting them in on a funny joke, all of which are important lessons to learn.

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Quirky-Sun762@reddit

I was a Tom boy growing up and I struggled with identifying as a girl (I am a cis gendered het woman). One day I remember I wore a skirt as it was summer and I was starting to come out of my Tom boy’ness a little. I was in the kitchen and my step dad came in and started chuckling to himself. He looked at me and said to my mom, “and you call me fat!” I was not fat per se but I was curvy. I was also about 15 years old. I remember I ran up stairs in tears and it took me a long time to ever wear a skirt again.

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Maxeque@reddit

I've had very low self-esteem over my weight since I was a child, even when I wasn't fat. A few years ago, I went on holiday with my grandparents, honestly not the best idea but whatever. The first day of the holiday I went swimming with them and I was wearing some swimming shorts. The first thing my nan (who probably weighed a lot more than me at that point) decided to say was "Wow, you gained weight." I was maybe 10/15 pounds overweight for my height, and with my absolutely wonderful genetics, that was pretty damn good for me, I'd actually lost a decent bit of weight over the two months previous. As you can guess, the rest of the holiday was not much better, including an incident when they came up to the room drunk, and berated me while I was on the phone with my Dad. They ended up just abandoning me in the middle of the airport when we arrived back home, leaving my Dad to drive a couple of hours to pick me up. My parents straight up cut contact after this, and we haven't spoken to them since, but it still has an effect on me years later.

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Quirky-Sun762@reddit

Thank you for sharing with me. I’m so sorry to hear you haven’t been swimming since, the trauma runs so deep sometimes.

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kipha01@reddit

Not sure of my age, maybe 11 or 12 and this was in the late 80's. In history class we were given a book about Anglo Saxons to read and were then asked questions after. The teacher asked what sheep were used for. In the book it stated wool for clothing, but it also mentioned milk/cheese. This resulted in the teacher making fun of me and saying that's what cows were used for, the whole class laughed at me. I was so embarrassed, even though I went back to that page and found where it said that I was too shy to point out the teacher was wrong. Fuck you Mr Ingham! I eat sheep milk cheese occasionally! Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you! 🖕🖕🖕

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Flaneur_7508@reddit

For the longest time my parents called me SB. For Stupid Boy :(

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Mausiemoo@reddit

I went to California when I was about 10 with my dad and stepmum (from the UK so this was a 'big' trip). They had both been multiple times as my stepmum had family out there and had done all the theme parks etc. We went to Universal Studios and they dragged me on all the rides they wanted to go on. When it got to the Jurassic World water ride I refused - I was terrified in water and really did not want to go on it. None of them wanted to wait with me so they made fun of me until I gave in. I was terrified and cried the entire time. They thought this was hilarious and afterwards bought the photo (with me crying in it) and got me a t-shirt saying "I survived the Jurassic World ride". 26 years later and they *still* routinely bring up how funny it was that I was upset - they literally tell everyone about it. I haven't been on a water flume ride since.

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Jjinty@reddit

I was 9 years old ran through from the toilet thinking I was dying as I was bleeding. I as a 9 year old didn't know I had started my period. My father thought this was hysterical and told his mates . I hadnever been told anything about them and my sister 5 years older hadn't started hers so . I was clueless and my mum was at work. I still hate the fact he laughed when I was genuinely terrified. And preceeded to tell all his mates about how I thought getting my period was me dying.

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3sic9@reddit

when i was around 10, instead of spending time with his kids, my dad would force me and my brother to go to this summer camp thing, however, since he always shaved his head bald, he'd to the same to us cause "its nice and cool on your head in the summer" we obviously never wanted this but he denies those claims. very embarrassing.

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Dependent_Volume_694@reddit

I was a very quiet, nervous child; the kind that never talked back, always did as I was told. At my 7th birthday party (I hated parties) we were playing a game similar to musical chairs (sit down when the music stops sort of thing), it was down to me and one other child when my dad suddenly says "last one standing is the winner" (I'm guessing he made a mistake there). So, the music stops and like the ever-obedient child I was, I stay standing, at which point he announces the other kid as the winner. Now, I was always terrified of doing the wrong thing so I made sure to listen to what I was told, I did not mishear him. I questioned why I lost when I did exactly as he said, I didn't whine, I didn't cry or shout, but apparently I'm being a brat so deserve to be yelled at in front of a roomful of my peers and then he smacked me hard across the arse. 33 years later it still rankles.

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NoodleScenes@reddit

I hope you dumped your dad in a cheap nursing home.

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Hardcore_Gentleness@reddit

And spanked him in front of all the other residents.

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Shaziiiii@reddit

English isn't my first language and this happened in my home country. But English 'traumatised' me until I moved to the UK so I thought you might still me interested: I was never good at English and we had to write a vocabulary test. It was the one time I actually studied and I finished quite quickly but we weren't allowed to hand our tests in and do something else until the time was up. I was sitting on a table at the outer edge of the first row and was staring at the clock which was above the blackboard. My teacher thought I was trying to cheat and that I looked at my neighbour's test so she yelled at me in front of the entire class that she caught me cheating and that I would have to go outside with and she would do the test verbally. I tried to tell her that I wasn't cheating but she didn't believe me. After she was done questioning me and realised and I actually did know them all she said 'see you're not that bad why would you try to cheat?'. The entire class already thought I was stupid and used to make fun of my English skills. The reality was that I was just shy and hated being forced to speak which resulted in bad grades and thus I lost my motivation to learn English. Because she took me outside the class room (tbf that was better than if she had done it inside) the class couldn't see that I actually knew the material and they also thought I was cheating. They obviously didn't believe me when I tried to tell them I wasn't because my English was so bad. I had another moment where my English teacher made me feel awful. In year 10, we had an English speaking exam. I had practiced English with some international (some of them were from the UK) online friends and they could all understand me. My teacher made me fail my exam because she said she couldn't understand a word I was saying because my pronounciation was, apparently, absolutely horrendous. After that I gave up learning English until I moved to the UK and had to learn this language naturally. I still don't know tenses and sentence structure properly or the classification of words etc. But it turns out you don't actually need all this shit and people understand you anyway. I still fuck up sentence structure and pronounciation of words I've never heard but if you let me speak in a normal context I am familiar with people generally don't notice that English isn't my first language. Some even ask me where in the UK I am from because my accent sounds British but slightly unfamiliar. My speaking is much better than my writing nowadays and my thoughts are in English as well. If I had to take a vocabulary test now, I would probably fail. Not because I don't know the meaning of the words, but because I never translate them because I don't need to. TLDR: My teacher never thought I could never learn English and humiliated me for that multiple times but fuck that bitch I did it.

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Melon-Me@reddit

Assembly of 250 students, we must have been about 13 years old, I was the shy studious kid who never caused the teachers any problems. The kid behind me was deliberately kicking the back of my chair and laughing with his friend about it and whispering occasional insults, tried to ignore it, then turned around and glared at them a few times, then after 5-10 minutes I really had had enough. I turned around, glared and told them to stop in a harsh whisper. And then the words I can still hear "MELON ME STAND UP". Every single students head turned to stare at me, amused whispers among the other students, I was never in trouble, this was a novelty to watch for them. The teacher left me standing the entire 20 minutes of the rest of assembly, it took everything I had not to cry and it makes me anxious now just thinking about it, nearly 20 years later.

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stffucubt@reddit

Shirts and skins crab football. All the fat kids including me in skins. Held back tears the entire time.

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pickindim_kmet@reddit

I was an incredibly quiet kid. I spoke to my 2-3 friends and the teacher but that was it, I was super shy. Someone, whether the teacher or parents, had the great idea of sending me home with some reading homework and secretly recording the audio of me reading the book. Back in class the next day/week, the teacher played the recording of me reading out loud in front of the whole class and it absolutely shattered me. The teacher sharply turned it off. I was probably only 5 or 6 years old and it's one of my clearest memories. My parents denied it ever happened but a couple of years ago I found an old cassette tape sitting inside an old radio we had. I played it to see what was on it, and it was that same tape.

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Sorbicol@reddit

I've posted about this before on Reddit, and it's not quite the same sort of event but it is something that, nearly 40 years later now has had, and still has a major bearing on my life and attitudes towards Authority: When I was around 13 years old, I was late getting in some homework for my German Teacher. She was Young(ish), generally fairly laid back and quite popular. I figured I'd go to the staff room first thing in the morning, apologise and see if she'd accept it. Turns out she wasn't in the mood - she very loudly and pointedly gave me a massive dressing down, refused to accept the homework and told me my attitude stank and it was massively disrespectful to her and everyone else in the class who had submitted the work on time. She did that in full view of all the other pupils in the corridor at the time, and more than loud enough for all the other teachers in the staff room to hear as well. Suitably chastised, I scurried off. When the lesson rolled around later (just after Lunch), she started the lesson by saying she was a bit disappointed that several people had handed in their homework on her desk that morning without seeing her first, but that she'd mark it "just this once". As soon as she said that she met my eye - as you can probably realise, I was somewhat shocked by what she'd said - and before I could say a word immediately declared she was done talking about it and never wanted to discuss it again. As you can imagine, I did fuck all work for her ever again. I barely scraped a D in my German GCSE. About the only thing I can say is that even though I never did any homework for her again, she never called me out for it either, and barely spoke to me for the remaining year and a half I had in her class. All it taught me was that most people with authority shouldn't have it, don't know what to do with it when they do, and a generally terrible at exercising it properly. Don't discount these events - they may seem quite minor on the face of things, but they can have an enormous impact on the rest of your life.

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Massaging_Spermaceti@reddit

My wood tech teacher gave me a dressing down in front of the class one day for forgetting my apron - "you've not brought it again, you've lied through your teeth to me about having it, how dare you, I'm sick of this lack of respect" etc. Only thing was, I *had* brought my apron and she was confusing me for someone else. When I finally got the chance to get a word in I said I didn't understand what was going on because I did have it and we hadn't spoken about it before. Of course, that just made her furious and I had to return to her at lunch, sit on a chair, and both her and the head of department stood over me telling me she wasn't wrong to tell me off, I was a bad person for a bunch of other reasons. I was 13 and a well-behaved student! Neither of those teachers knew me because we cycled through the different tech subjects a term at a time and she hadn't taught me before, she was just cruel. I was a very shy and anxious kid and that experience haunted me!

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ohnobobbins@reddit

JFC why can’t these horrors just admit they were wrong?

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Zodo12@reddit

Pride and ego. It's much easier for a twat to dig deeper than it is to admit wrongdoing.

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aBeardOfBees@reddit

It's fascinating how events like this affect us for life. I have a similar core memory. I was a very conscientious, quiet, well behaved kid. I was made a form prefect in year 6 and had a blue badge to wear. One day while lining up, a teacher overheard someone talking in line (which was forbidden) and mistakenly thought it was me. She came over and gave me a dressing down, wouldn't listen to my protest that she had the wrong person, and confiscated my badge. She said I could come and get it from her the next day, but when I went to her to get it, she'd lost it. I never got it or a replacement back. It wasn't the badge itself or being a prefect that was important to me, but being misjudged or unfairly treated was, and this event (looking back) gave me a similar realisation that people in authority don't always deserve it. I'm not exactly a rebel or anything and I conform pretty much as you'd expect to the same things everyone else does, but if I'm honest then i do have a fairly deep-seated anti-authority streak in me and this memory is probably a part of that!

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inevitablelizard@reddit

For me it was whole class detentions in secondary school. I was never one of the disruptive ones but was too scared to just walk out, right until they stopped anyway as we got older. It was often justified with "the good kids will pressure the bad ones to behave" which is clearly idiotic bullshit. Problem is at that time you don't feel confident objecting to anything "authority" does, because you're just a kid or teenager and deep down you feel like your objection might be unreasonable and you won't be taken seriously. And that if you rebel you'll make things worse. But as an adult I'll confidently say whole class punishments are a shit method used by shit teachers. Looking back it's one of the first things that made me notice that "authority" can get things wrong which I suppose is a useful lesson in itself.

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TeHNeutral@reddit

So glad as a grownup you can just tell her she's a cunt and move on with your life. Much harder as a kid.

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Charley-Says@reddit

Sounds like she got a dressing down herself probably from a more senior teacher in the staff room, she must have thought she was being either Mister Billy Big Bollox or mighty hilarious in front of her peers and it back-fired... Bitch...

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sayleanenlarge@reddit

I thought the same, only instead of the billy big bollocks, she'd been embarrassed by a student turning it in late and effectively "showing her up" in front of more experienced teachers. If she was a new teacher, she'd be 25 or something, so could have not really had a grasp on it all yet and thought being stern was the way to go to show the other teachers she could control her pupils. I imagine older teachers would have given her advice after and that bruised her ego. Obviously, I have no clue, but that was my first thought.

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Spirit_Bitterballen@reddit

Shitty teachers like this kill a kid’s potential love for a subject. Were it not for her cunt behaviour you could be translating at the UN or something nowadays. Honestly.

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Sorbicol@reddit

Ha. I appreciate the sentiment but to be honest foreign languages were not my strongest subject! They certainly killed any further desire I had to do well in it though. I work in a STEM field, have done for 25 years now. I do OK for myself!

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Wolfblood-is-here@reddit

I work in a pathology lab. I handle stranger's turd every day. Still thankful I don't have to learn fucking French.

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Perfect-Frame-1812@reddit

Can think of a few teachers who were like this, completely agree about some people just shouldn't have any authority. Still, makes you appreciate the good ones more.

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world2021@reddit

Hmm. When asked what my best quality as a teacher is, I say my humility. That's not a contradiction. We all have shit days. When I'm wrong, I say I'm wrong, and I apologise freely and publicly. It's a shame, though, that many kids don't realise that they're working for themselves and not their teacher. It's the child who's going to have to answer "how many A-C grace GCSEs do you have?" No application form asks if you liked your teacher or not.

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ohnobobbins@reddit

What a fucking bitch

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therelaxationgrotto@reddit

As a teacher this story made me viscerally angry. Sorry that happened to you.

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Total_Agent_7891@reddit

What a b\*\*\*\*! Glad you did f all for her after that - what a 💩 teacher!

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NuisancePenguin44@reddit

OMG this happened to me. My teacher told me to just read out loud to her and I trusted her and she recorded me and played it to the whole class. I realised recently that that was the reason why even now I hate being recorded in any way.

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pickindim_kmet@reddit

That's really sad. I've never thought about it before but I absolutely *can't* listen back to any voice messages I make, I wonder if it's linked.

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eivoooom@reddit

I was really shy as well when I was in year 1, the teaching staff and assistants didn't like it so they made me sit in a room and refused to let me leave until I spoke so they record me speaking, the assistant said I couldn't go for lunch until I did so I eventually did, it did bugger all as I was still shy all the way through school.

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pickindim_kmet@reddit

That's awful, that's the exact opposite of what kids like us need. I hope teachers these days aren't still doing this.

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RockPaperMonkey@reddit

This reminds me when I was about 8 or 9 in primary school, the teachers didn't believe I could read (even though I read 200 page books every day), due to the fact I didn't speak in school (I had severe selective mutism from age 3 until age 16). So once a week they'd put me in this room where they made me read out short stories, the one I specifically remember was about sea spiders (I was scared of spiders and water at the time). A teacher was always in the room with me, no doubt she heard the tremble in my voice and saw/heard me cry, especially since most sessions I'd go up to her and ask if i could go get water. I'm not really sure why this was done, because even when i moved schools the new school would give me the books for very young kids to read during english. Though this story wasn't about being humiliated, it's the most anxious I ever remember being.

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Aggravating-Room6009@reddit

Sorry for asking but where did the selective mutism come from ? You don't have to answer if you don't want to.

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RockPaperMonkey@reddit

Autism and anxiety ✨️, but also I wrote that when I was really tired last night, and I thought this was the autism subreddit oops

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Pigrescuer@reddit

My year 4 teacher also didn't believe I could read confidently. I read lord of the rings the summer between year 3 and 4 (I can place it to a holiday my family took then), but I was made to read through all the stupid classroom books and banned from bringing my own books in for months. As an avid reader I remember being so annoyed!

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Miss_Type@reddit

That is awful! I was at primary school in the 80s and so lucky that my teachers saw how much I loved reading, they did those "reading age" tests (do they still do those?) I was allowed to borrow any book from the school library, even the "black level" (hardest books) when I was in the equivalent of year 3. Let kids read!!!

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ant1greeny@reddit

After you found the tape did you play it to your parents?

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pickindim_kmet@reddit

I did, it had been 20+ years since it happened at that point and they claimed not to remember it. It could be genuine cause they have memories of fish, but it certainly sticks in my memory.

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DavegasBossman@reddit

Did they do it because they thought the class hearing your voice would make you more noticeable and make friends or what? Bizarre logic.

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pickindim_kmet@reddit

To bring me out of my shell as far as I know. I think it was a case of breaking that barrier and suddenly I'd feel like I could magically speak to everyone.

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Apidium@reddit

I hate this idea of 'we need to break the ice with a fucking sledgehammer regardless of if anyone wants too or not'.

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faroffland@reddit

Jesus OP. It’s like adults forget small children are human beings with emotions exactly the same as them! They might not control them or express them the same but they absolutely feel the full range of embarrassment, shame etc. Absolutely mental idea.

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nomad_2009@reddit

Not many people know about differences between being and an extrovert and an introvert. I'm so glad I'm aware I am an introvert and if my kids are too, I will never force them to act like they are an extravert. I will teach them what their strong and weak sides are and they should be aware if it but that's it .

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faroffland@reddit

Yeah for sure - and the difference between being an introvert and having social anxiety. One is a personality thing, the other can be really limiting. It’s important to know the difference.

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AnTeallach1062@reddit

Poor you. What a terrible thing to have had done to you. I am quite speechless at this cruelty. If I think of this happening to any of the quieter children I know it is very upsetting.

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commanderquill@reddit

Did the teacher know that was what the recording was? You said they sharply turned it off?

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pickindim_kmet@reddit

Yes the teacher knew. I think the teacher just saw my reaction and realised what a terrible idea it was.

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Throwwtheminthelake@reddit

Omg I’m so sorry that’s a horrible experience to go through

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millyloui@reddit

What a truly shite thing to do

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Original_Bad_3416@reddit

WTAF!

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smoulderstoat@reddit

We moved towns when I was 8 and I had to start at a new junior school in the second year. I've always been painfully shy and found it hard to fit in. A few days after I'd started the teacher sent one of the kids out of class on a pointless and lengthy errand, and while he was gone told us that he didn't have any friends, so we should all try to be his friend - I think he probably had a mild learning disability. Fast forward a few months, and I was given a pile of papers and asked to give one to every teacher in the school, but on no account was I to look at them. Of course I'd barely made it out of the classroom before I looked, and it was just a pile of scrap paper. She'd obviously sent me out of the room so she could tell the class "Smoulderstoat is a useless loser with no mates, so can you all pretend to be mates with him?" I can still hear the sniggering when I went back into class, and spent the rest of my school career assuming that everyone who so much as gave me the time of day was doing it out of pity. Oh, and as a dyspraxic I had the ritual humiliation of being picked last for PE twice a week for five fucking years.

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2121wv@reddit

>Oh, and as a dyspraxic I had the ritual humiliation of being picked last for PE twice a week for five fucking years. Same here man. I remember the group I got put with just telling me to sit at the side whenever we played anything.

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2121wv@reddit

Remember being about 14, and was sort of becoming friends with a group of boys who were friends with some cooler boys. I was pretty intimidated, but wanted to join their friend group. I remember going up to them on the bus whilst they were all talking and sat down next to them to join the conversation. One of the more popular boys looked at me, and said really loudly, in a really stern, mean tone, 'You're actually so fucking ugly.' No humour intended, he just wanted to be cruel. Boys who I thought I was becoming friends with laughed along with him afterwards. Just stared straight ahead and tried not to think about it for the rest of the bus ride, sitting in silence. Absolutely devastated my self-confidence and I was basically depressed for months afterwards about my appearance and didn't talk to anyone.

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LittleLyngbakr@reddit

When I was in my 2nd year of high school I was put into an English class with only one of my friends. I was incredibly socially anxious and so I of course sat next to my friend. The teacher then made everyone swap seats and sat us boy/girl so we didn’t get comfortable. I was really unpopular in high school and the class was full of the more “cool” kids. No one wanted to sit next to me so I became the one that the misbehaved kid had to sit next to. Anyway, on day 1 the teacher saw I was terrified and picked on me to hand out the jotters. But I didn’t know anyone’s names in the class except a couple. I went up to his desk and explained this and he said well, what better way to learn? I felt paralysed with fear but I didn’t really have a choice; I wasn’t a child who rebelled against authority. So I had to walk around the class trying to guess who was who, awkwardly asking people their names while people sniggered and whispered and made fun of me, telling me fake names to mislead me because I couldn’t tell the difference. I wanted to die the whole time, I had tears in my eyes. Eventually the teacher took pity on me and took the jotters from me because I was being “too slow.” I sat down in my assigned seat with tears running down my cheeks from the shame. I was really good at English and enjoyed it but I dreaded that class every single day. I was diagnosed in adulthood as autistic, which made me even more angry thinking back to this. If only I’d had the support I needed instead of being made a mockery of by someone who was supposed to be protecting me.

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accidentalsalmon@reddit

Year 9, my school made us do a fitness test every September and February. This included being weighed, a bleep test, jump and reach tests, and a minute of sit ups followed by squat thrusts. Hell but at least it was only one lesson. Now, I’m not exactly small and never have been. I’m now 6’2” and quite wide, at the time I was probably around 5’11/6ft already. I stepped on the scales and saw 100kg come up… and the PE teacher (who had already called me a “carcass” in front of everyone in a previous year for being slow in rugby” announced in his loudest voice to everyone that I had just hit 100kg. Spent the rest of school and sixth form being called all sorts of names from pig to big gay bear (I’m straight but OK) to the simple but deadly “fat c*nt”. My self confidence never recovered and neither has my weight sadly. I googled the teacher recently, interested to know what became of him. He’s now a headmaster at an independent school and boasts that “mental wellbeing is the absolute priority” for him now. I find that hard to believe.

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ohnosandpeople@reddit

These comments remind me of my bastard maths teacher at school, who- knowing I had no clue how to solve them- called me out to the front of the class time and time again to stand dumbly in front of the board to "show the class the answer" to maths problems. It didn't stop until my step-dad heard about it and ripped him a new one. Gave me a fear of maths for life

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darkerthanmysoul@reddit

This may give away my identity but it’s a risk I’m willing to take. It’s 1999/2000 and I’m in reception class about to do the nativity. Well, I’m Angel Gabriel and im an extremely shy kid. I begged to not be apart of it but no. My mum explains that I also didn’t want to take part but they said we had to and my parents will regret not having this memory of me. We all get told to go to the toilet before we get dressed and my school only had 3 toilets and a class of 20 kids so I’m waiting to go. The teacher pulls me out and says I have to get ready and I tell her no I need to wee. She said no and get the wings on. We go on stage and just as we’re all on the stage I piss myself. Stage fright and just being bursting to go. It was recorded and given out to all the parents. What’s worse was we did the show over 3 nights and each night was on video yet they gave out that video. You can clearly see me start to wee and the kids around me laugh and run away. I’m 30 now and I’m still mortified by it.

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bullencentral97@reddit

Wouldn’t say massively humiliating but I guess story works. Laying on the floor playing with the dog, musta been about 13 at the time. Was running round with one of them super heavy bones with Marrow in that takes ages for them to finish. Of course he dropped it conveniently right above my forehead. Much blood and pain later, he became the greatest dog I’ve ever known. RIP little man

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HermitBee@reddit

Humiliated is too strong a word, but I recall my mum teasing me when she noticed, on holiday, that I'd started growing armpit hair. It was a light-hearted moment that I guarantee she doesn't remember, but that's why I don't discuss anything to do with my body or health with her. Similarly, if you would like your children to talk to you about love and relationships when they're adults, don't reinforce the notion that you won't take their feelings seriously by teasing them about such things when they're young.

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Reignbeaus@reddit

I was teased by the other girls in the changing rooms shortly after starting secondary school for having armpit hair, nobody had shown me how to shave it or bought me a razor. I soon figured it out for myself after that.

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PotatoWedges__@reddit

Probably like aged 7 and spent a lot of time with my friend who lived up the road. Was out with her family one day and they took the piss out of me that my friend’s dad held my hand to cross the street. I still don’t even understand what was funny about it. They also took the piss when a boy gave me a Valentine’s Day card so I threw it in the bushes on my walk home so my family wouldn’t also take the piss. The poor lad probably thought I was horrible. I’m sorry Jamie

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house_autumn@reddit

My parents used to judge all the other girls in our street for going out with boys and being seen with them in the street. They teased me for having crushes and giggled about it in front of people. I don't talk to them any more for a number of reasons but the thought of them knowing I had feelings for someone or meeting someone I was dating makes me nauseous.

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ant1greeny@reddit

My parents always used to tease me for having a crush when I was a kid and they now wonder why I don't share details about my dating life. In a similar vein, they weren't great at showing me affection so to this day I struggle with being affectionate because I never really experienced it as a child. I think a lot of parents don't realise how much little things can shape their child.

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house_autumn@reddit

I don't think mine ever took my feelings seriously. I'm in my 30s and I feel like if I was to introduce a partner to them they'd still tease me for holding hands with them and treat me like a kid with a crush. I also got lots of comments about what my father would do to a boy who wanted to date me so it was just easier to not talk about those things.

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xDhezz@reddit

Told my family I got a valentines card at school. My dad said it was probably a friend taking the piss. My mum saw it and said she thought it was my friends handwriting. Binned it and never told them anything about my love life and still find valentines awkward. Even now in a relationship of 4 years I feel cagey talking to my parents about it.

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okaygoatt@reddit

Omg the valentine card thing, I dreaded anyone being interested in me or sending a card incase they took the piss out of me

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Sea-Particular9959@reddit

Oh totally!! My mum always said the weirdest things about this stuff, if I mentioned what a boy in the class had done in school or that I was wanting to invite not only girls but also boys to my birthdays (my classmates) there was this big “oh I didn’t know you liked boys” teasing thing that went on to the point where I never made a friend who was a boy again and hid my first boyfriend from them for a long time. Why do people do this to their kids, it’s so strange.

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Becky2189@reddit

My MIL has started doing this to my five year old. She asked him who his friends were at school and when he said a girl's name she went "oooooh a girl is she your girlfriend"...he's five, and I remember my dad doing the same thing to me so I shut that down!

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a4991@reddit

I had the same, it honestly put me off dating until I was in uni and away from them.

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Bad_UsernameJoke94@reddit

I got one, and was utterly convinced it was a joke as my self-esteem and confidence were so low from years of bullying behaviour at school

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okaygoatt@reddit

I wasn't bullied at school thankfully, but my self esteem was so low I'd also have assumed it was a joke

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JohnLennonsNotDead@reddit

Hand holder hand holder ner ner ner ner

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PotatoWedges__@reddit

Honestly it was so bizarre. They were taking the piss being like “he’s your boyfriend” or something like that. It was super weird

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JohnLennonsNotDead@reddit

Kids for you isn’t it haha, little bastards

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Justboy__@reddit

He choo-choo-chose you aswell :(

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marvel_is_wow@reddit

My parents would fat shame me in public when we would go clothes shopping even though I wasn't overweight at the time

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FarMidnight9774@reddit

Oooh pretty regular lol Being quiet and 'clever' will weirdly get you a lot of unwanted attention. Happily, a quick Facebook shows that one particular chap is now rather uh portly - if you're gonna be a dick as a kid at least have the grace to grow up to be something. Uhh one that stands out? In class in primary school and the question comes up "what's under the soil?" or something, idk Of course I stick my hand up and say "Bedrock". The mocking was real as they only knew Bedrock as the town from the Flintstones. Loads of others, no point dwelling on them nor the idiots that played parts in them

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EmTee_2022@reddit

I wasn’t beaten so bad by my dad that I wet myself!

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EnvironmentalCat2280@reddit

Understand! I was 11 and my sister stole money from me mother and I went into mother's bag looking for a pen for school, I got caught and got blamed! Mother waited till I finished school and got me sister who stole to get a belt from the wardrobe and I got belted, pissed meself and that made mother more angry! Had to take a few days off school because of the injuries! Me sister yrs later said she always felt guilty that she didn't own up to mother that it was her as when I got belted scared her and she was 16, can't blame her for not wanting to get belted!

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LogAltruistic9222@reddit

Am I the only person who thinks the elbow grease thing sounds like a funny family moment.

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saladinzero@reddit

I was bullied a lot as a child, and in P4 I finally hit back at a bully. His mother read the riot act to the school, so I got dragged out of class (literally, this was a long time ago) by the deputy head then harangued by her in front of her P7 class as part of my punishment. I can remember crying at how unfair and humiliating it was to be standing there with the teacher shouting at me and mocking me in front of these unfamiliar older children. I ended up with a school-wide reputation for being a cry baby that lasted with me all the way through secondary, as my primary class virtually all ended up in the same secondary. I only shook off that reputation when I left for university and completely reinvented who I was. Since the day I left I have never once spoken to a single person who knew me from school. The thought of going to a reunion or similar fills me with a deep dread.

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Vegetable-End-3135@reddit

Doesn't sound like a light hearted post to me. Fuck them to hell for that

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pleaseblowyournose@reddit

Pantsed. And the kids who saw decided I was a loser and it was my fault. It was the beginning of a lot of bullying.

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healing-innerchild@reddit

I was diagnosed with dyslexia at a young age and my foster mother would make all the foster kids do spelling tests out loud whilst praising my younger sister she would laugh at me and tell me I was so dumb and “how is your sister smarter then you dumb f@$k” it was quite the hit to my confidence and well I became an adult and after testing I am intellectually disabled caused by a rare chromosome deletion that I never knew I had 🫠

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Jarn-Templar@reddit

My parents split when I was about 7 years old. My mother moved to a different county and I decided to stay with my dad. My brother went with my mom. (It was actually totally fine) The humiliation for me is that my brother would make up stories of things I did that are completely made up but truth adjacent and so completely lore for my mom. To the point that she brings up things I "said" all the time but they're not real but they bring her so much joy that I hate having to say it didn't happen. Some of them are embarrassing as hell and even once I've debunked they'll get brought up at Christmas or family events.

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BowlerElectronic@reddit

When I was around 5 or 6 years old, I presented my writing of the numbers 1-200 on paper at 'show and tell' at school. To get up in front of my whole year group was a big deal. When I was standing at the front, my teacher told me it wasn't an achievement and showed me back to my seat. 25 years later it suddenly clicked during a coaching session why I feared presenting to seniors at work: because I was so fearful of being embarrassed. This one off experience held me back for years, so I encourage anyone who has input to a child's life to consider their actions and words around them.

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halcyon997@reddit

In year 3 primary school. Didn't understand the task at hand the teacher had set out, so rather than ask (too shy) I ended copying my friends work. Obviously when the teacher was marking the work and saw this, he made a point of bringing me to the front of the class and showing everyone how I'd copied my friends work. Looking back now, it's a cuntish thing to have done, and made me really self-conscious and embarrassed, and really it was his own failing for not ensuring the class knew what they were doing, by going around checking on students etc

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freakytapir@reddit

I had to go to the bathroom during class. I asked the teacher. He said no. Long story short. I went to the bathroom during class, except now they had a puddle to clean up. He had to have known I have a small bladder and malfunctioning bladder valves. When I need to go, I need to GO. Not in half an hour. Now. Did he think I wore overnight diapers to the sixth grade school tri for the 'cool points'? He was on that school trip. Fuck that guy. The school staff was really nice though. Got me a pair of shorts from the lost and found and they let me shower. I mean, I was a husky kid, and the pants were a size on the small side, but I was covered. None of my classmates ever gave me one ounce of shit over it. I mean, we'd all been going to the same (rather small, like 2-3 classes per year) school for 6 years. Everyone knew.

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D0wnb0at@reddit

Driving back from family in Scotland to Yorkshire my parents recorded me in their video camera singing a certain Xmas song by Cliff Richards that was released a year or 2 before. Being very young at the time, like 6 or something, with a squeaky voice and tone deaf it was obviously terrible. When played back with family I realised my terrible singing and was humiliated for it. Which is fine at the time. Whats not fine is them getting the VHS out and laughing at it when other family came around for years later or putting it on for my friends, or showing it to my girlfriends even as a teenager. Nor mind anytime it came on the radio someone in my family would say “oh it’s D0wnb0at’s song, sing it!” And all mock me for it. So I took the tape and destroyed it. Parents eventually worked out I took it and were massively disappointed/angry at me cause it had loads of other home movies on there. I don’t regret it at all. I was teased and humiliated for a decade with that tape. They never watched any of the other bits of the video it was only ever that section they would get the tape out for. Anytime I was with my parents after that and we heard it, they would still slightly mock me then get disappointed and angry in me again for destroying it. Even now, 30+ years after the initial recording, if the song comes on and my remaining family members are around, they will mock me and I’ll get a comment about destroying it. Even when I am on my own and hear it, I hate that song. So many bad memories attached to it.

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halcyon997@reddit

Typical bullying behaviour disguised as banter, and if you object they come out with 'why are you being so sensitive about it'. Good for you destroying the tape.

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St11lhereucantkillme@reddit

Amazing example of a shame culture vs honor culture

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pfinl@reddit

We had a family friend called Steve, who was a builder and a bit of a dick with his pranks. One day at the pub around the snooker table, Steve told 6 year old me he was psychic and could tell my future. He put a finger on my forehead and one on each cheekbone, and gave me a fortune I don't remember. What I do remember is that he had put cue chalk on his fingers so I walked around for the day with 3 bright blue spots on my head. Totally harmless but I was soooo embarrassed. Steve went on to meet the love of his life, father 3 beautiful children he adores, and drove 2 hours each way to help me look at my first flat to buy. He's a legend.

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halcyon997@reddit

To be fair compared to some of the other tales in this thread that's about the most non-malicious sounding so far.

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DoubleXFemale@reddit

At about 12/13, I had some confusing feelings towards a same-sex friend. 20 years later, I'm still not certain whether I wanted to be with her or be her, but I was certainly some kind of infatuated, lol. I didn't have anyone to confide in, so I wrote about it in a little notebook as a sort of journal. My family always had dinner sat round the table together, and my mum would sometimes use this as an opportunity to bollock whichever kid was in trouble in front of a captive audience. So we're all sat there eating, when my mum produces the fucking notebook and starts reading out of it while everyone stares at me. Okay, I guess I didn't hide it so well and there was no indication that it contained quite private thoughts, but she could have pretended she never found it, or she could have spoken to me privately. She could have done anything else but that.

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Visible-Management63@reddit

What a bitch.

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DoubleXFemale@reddit

Yeah, I think I said as much at the time while trying to launch myself over the table to grab it off her!🤣

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mang0_milkshake@reddit

I have a clubbed thumb on one hand (brachydactyly type D for anyone interested in weird genetic stuff). Not super rare or noticeable until it's pointed out, but my parents RUTHLESSLY made fun of me from when I was a very small child until I left home, to the point I wouldn't show my hands ever. They would call it my "special thumb" and make fun of me trying to do things, even when I begged them to stop, which I would then be told off for. Their reasoning was I'll never get anywhere in life if I don't learn to laugh at myself which is utterly ridiculous. I seriously considered and very nearly attempted to chop my own thumb off when I was 16 so I could say I had an accident and lost it later on. It still bothers me today that they were so ruthless about something that I not only can't change or had no choice in, but has actually been discovered to be genetic. There was probably someone in my familial history that had the same.

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DoubleXFemale@reddit

Do you think calling it a special thumb in itself was bad, separate to all the outright nastiness? I only ask because my youngest has a special tooth (two merged together) that we (and the dentist) call a special tooth and tell him it's cool and rare.

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mang0_milkshake@reddit

It was patronising and used to make me cry, so I can't really say

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DoubleXFemale@reddit

Ok, thank you for answering and I'm really sorry you were treated so badly.

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wasdice@reddit

If it's genetic then it's quite literally your parents' fault

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AgonisingAunt@reddit

What a bunch of cunts. They took the piss out of something that was entirely their fault. Both my kids got my family witchy chin and there’s no way I’ll ever take the piss out of them for it. The opposite in fact, I’m actively seeking ways to make them less conscious of it than I am.

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Hyperion2023@reddit

This is absolutely shocking, like the first rule of being a parent is not to do stuff like that. What did they think they were doing to you?!

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Creepy-Bandicoot-866@reddit

I was crying about something and my English teacher said, “look at you, you’re pathetic.” 🥺

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pinkdaisylemon@reddit

Two incidents spring to mind. In my infants school in the sixties I was very quiet and shy, very timid. A new teacher from America came to teach us and she decided I wasn't speaking up loudly enough. One day she decided to grab me by my hair and pull me across the class to wake me up- I was terrified. The next day my dad turned up during the day and promptly did the same to her right across the class! When I was about 11 I was still very shy. One break time in school I was being badly bullied and was set upon by several girls at once. I cried out and the teacher on duty in the playground happened to be my form teacher. He was also the music teacher and the next lesson he asked me in front of the class to shout into the piano so we could hear the echo. "Shout as loud as you did yesterday when you were running away from those girls" he said. All the bullies laughed their heads off and I felt so embarrassed. Well, you can probably guess, next day dad sauntered into the class, grabbed him and slammed his head inside the piano and shut the lid. "Now you scream in fear" he said! Good old dad, I miss him.

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TeHNeutral@reddit

What a legend, these people bullying kids who can't fight back are sickening.

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pinkdaisylemon@reddit

He really was an absolute legend as was my mum. Neither of them would take crap from anyone and stuck up for their family. I gradually lost my shyness and thankfully am the same as they were now. But yes some people in authority are bloody awful to kids.

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OneFisherman9541@reddit

Geez, What an utter fanny you were

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Limitedtugboat@reddit

I went on my first foreign holiday when I was 11 (before you needed teachers approval for holidays) and when I got back the first thing the teacher commented was how did a child who's parents have a council house afford a foreign holiday? Someone's dealing on the side then and started laughing. I remember being really ashamed of myself briefly and didn't know what to do. He ended up being fired the next year for ripping into a child with 1 eye.

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Sweddybob69@reddit

I'm 55, and in year 5, I was made to stand up in front of the class and the teacher explained that I was too stupid for this class and I would be returning to infant school (year 1) this is an example of the daily abuse I suffered at his hands. It affected me so badly that I refused to take any exams and didn't write in front of another person until I was in my forties. Even though I know he's in his late eighties, I would still backhand him if I came face to face with him

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jesuseatsbees@reddit

I was a fat kid. My dad made a joke that I looked like a monster from a particular film. I was like 5 and completely without any self-consciousness, so I thought it was funny and repeated it to a cousin. I got bollocked because my dad didn't want other family members to know he made fun of me. Wild stuff.

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SaltPomegranate4@reddit

Wowzers

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furrycroissant@reddit

All the time by my mum. She was a massive narcissis and belittled me for not knowing things

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Visible-Management63@reddit

My mum was much the same. Mine would also bully me for knowing things she didn't.

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furrycroissant@reddit

All the time! The number of times I was grounded, screamed at, slapped, for challenging her narrow world view or presenting genuine facts (showing her a book or news article). She couldn't stand it

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Visible-Management63@reddit

Yep I was slapped across the face quite a lot. I still feel my cheeks flush in anticipation of a slap when I answer someone back decades later.

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AgonisingAunt@reddit

It’s so maddening when parents ridicule children for not knowing things THEY ARE THE ONES SUPPOSED TO TEACH THEM. A kid not knowing something basic is just a negative parenting review.

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frankie_0924@reddit

I was about 14/15 so 1995/6 and had a really sore throat one evening. I mentioned to my mum and she told me to take some money out her purse to buy some. I opened the zip part (where the loose change was) and she only had about 35p. I left it and took £1 out my money box and went to the shop, bought my throat sweets and bumped into a few friends. They were all walking to the chippie, so I went with them. Bought a small chips (50p!!) and went to the park with them to eat them. I saw my sister walk past abs shouted her to tell her to let our parents know that I was staying out a bit. About 10 minutes later, my mum came storming across to the park and started screaming at me that I’d “stolen” money from her purse to buy chips, made me go home and told me I was grounded for the foreseeable. It wasn’t until the day after she finally listened that she didn’t have enough money in her purse and I’d used my own money. I was still grounded but I’ve never felt as embarrassed as my mum screaming at me about something I’d not done and not listening when I tried to tell her. I’ve always said - and I’ve done it - I will always listen before jumping to conclusions with my kids. Sometimes they’re wrong and sometimes it’s a misunderstanding and they get the chance to have their say.

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probablyaythrowaway@reddit

Ah elbow grease. A classic. You wouldnt have lasted 10 mins as my apprentice 🤣

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perro_abandonado@reddit

Is this supposed to be lighthearted anecdotes or ones that fucked you up? Cos mine are all the latter. The first boy that asked me out… went home and told my mum. My dad said he “must have special needs to want to ask you out”. My mother was useless with puberty and didn’t do anything to prepare me or my sister. So she never told me I needed a bra or helped me get one and I was too afraid to ask. We went on holiday and my dad filmed me running around and my boobs were bouncing up and down because I had no bra (I was about 12). I didn’t know he was filming or what I looked like. When we got home we watched the holiday video and I had to sit there humiliated while they laughed at my boobs bouncing all over the place. You can imagine how awful that was for an already self conscious 12 year old. Again with the useless mother. Got my first period on a sleepover at my friends house. I was 13. My mum never thought to give me pads or tell me that it can just show up at any time. I was absolutely humiliated because I got blood all over my friends spare mattress. She asked what it was and I said I didn’t know. I then had to walk home bleeding. Same kinda thing. Went on holiday with my friend when I was again about 13. Mother didn’t send me with pads (I was a very very shy awkward kid about bodies and periods because as you can gather no one talked about it in my house. I was too anxious to ask). Got my period on the holiday and was again utterly humiliated and didn’t have any pads. We were meant to go for a big walk and I burst out crying and was further shamed because I felt too embarrassed to say what was wrong. Me and my friend found this erotica book when we were kids. Obviously curious we kept it and she read it then gave it to me. I read it and kept it under my bed. My dad went through my room and found it and shamed me to hell and back. Then said I “probably shag around”. I was 12 ish and hadn’t even kissed a boy let alone anything else. As you can imagine from 3 of these stories happening in a couple years, that time was absolute hell for me. And my life was shit anyway because I’m sure you can also tell my dad is a psychotic fuck.

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Dragon_M4st3r@reddit

My god. I think I’ve you’ve turned out to be a good person as it sounds like you have that’s tribute to you. Why do parents do it

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BECKYISHERE@reddit

My mother had serious mental health issues and hated me and would never hold back from letting me know how much she resented me.She was always coming up with inventive ways to thoroughly humiliate me. When I had my first period, I was feeling really sick and didn't want to go to school, so mother dragged me into the car, then into the school form room, and in front of all my schoolclass, said loudly to the male teacher "ignore Becky's behaviour, she's got her period". It was 1978 and things like that weren't spoken about in public. I still remember the humiliation, even 46 years later.

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sicksadgirll@reddit

I’m so sorry 💔 I had very similar growing up.

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nomad_2009@reddit

This is sad. My ex had some issues in the bedroom. After some time I figured it out, puzzling together different stories she told me. Her dad walked into the bathroom when she was a teen and found her touching herself and started shouting and told her off. That ruined her sex life forever. It's crazy what a small comment or an argument can do to your whole life after that.

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Jazzlike-Banana6378@reddit

😢 I’m so sorry I hope you’re doing well now. Cut him off btw

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Total_Agent_7891@reddit

Dad? No decent caring dad would do that Psychotic fuck? Absolutely! Hope your life is better now.

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perro_abandonado@reddit

Well I haven’t seen my dad in about 14 years and won’t ever again. And my life is pretty shit because those are very mild examples of what I went through as a kid compared to the rest so I don’t function very well as an adult. Working on it though!! Thank you!

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Vegetable-End-3135@reddit

Every step of the fucking way by literally everyone

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Realkevinnash59@reddit

When I was about 8-9 we attended church and I was sent to Sunday school every week. One of the weeks we had a homework assignment thing that included a bit where we wrote down what 5 wishes/prayers we could ask god that if they came true would make your life better and then we would talk about it when we brought it in the following week. Me and my older sister REALLY didn't get on well until we were much older and would fight almost constantly if we were in the same room together, she was a stroppy 14 year old at the time. One of my wishes was "I wish \*sister's name\* loved me more and we were friends". The rest of the list was stuff like "new bike", "less school" etc. The morning before church the following week, I had my sunday school stuff in a folder and my Mum and sister had opened it to see what was in it, took out my homework, read out the wish about my sister and both started to piss themselves laughing, for a solid 5 minutes, just screaming laughter, and I started crying, which made them laugh more. I remember scribbling that wish out and when I was asked in sunday school why I had, the bloke just said "oh that's not very christian of them" and moved on to my next one. I felt totally humiliated.

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peanutputterbunny@reddit

I double checked this was the UK sub because I assumed there would be a ton of identical comments, but I can't see any. Forgetting my PE kit at around 12 or so and being met with the punishment of having to do PE in my underwear (i.e. knickers and no bra at that time, but tbh I can't remember if I had some sort of upper covering. Maybe there was a polo shirt but I don't remember it) and it was utter humiliation. Normalised because it happened regularly to everyone but it was awful, even though I wasn't exactly popular, even my classmates were extremely sympathetic like they realised how out of line the punishment was. Can't imagine it now, but I think there are a ton out there who had the same thing??

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Maxi-Moo-Moo@reddit

I cried so hard they let me sit it out. I was sobbing that I didn't want to be nearly naked. I hope they don't make kids do that now.

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DMC_addict@reddit

They don’t thankfully, spare pe kit or do it in uniform

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Maxi-Moo-Moo@reddit

Thank god! No kid needs to be doing pe half naked

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kayproII@reddit

Tbh considering how often they washed the spare kit at my highschool, I would rather sit out

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Hyperion2023@reddit

The phrase ‘If you don’t have your PE kit you have to do it in your pants and vest’ is still burnt into my brain. And I was the (not diagnosed til 38) adhd kid who was pretty likely not to have the kit, and who also went to school one day (aged 6-7 maybe) and only realised when I had to get changed for PE that I didn’t have any underwear on…

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Apidium@reddit

I had a bad habit of 'forgetting' to take myself to PE if I had also forgotten my kit. I was a somewhat forgetful kid.

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peanutputterbunny@reddit

Yes it was a vest!! I remember now, I think it must have been part of my uniform. God can you imagine schools trying to enforce that nowadays

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LilyWicker@reddit

That's awful, i'm so sorry. I forgot this even happened but yes a teacher made a girl in my class do this too, it felt especially bad they did it to her because she was already basically the most unpopular person in the class by no fault of her own

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SataySue@reddit

I literally just posted this. Dreadful

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Federal-Sand411@reddit

Blimey that brings a lot back that I’d actually forgotten about. I remember being so stressed out about that that I made sure it was the first thing I packed in my bag the night before. So it never happened to me personally, but it definitely happened to some. Crazy times the 80s!!!

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Famous-Dimension5111@reddit

not so much as a child as an adult but when i was younger i had a very long history of aggressiveness and violence towards my younger sister. i’d hit her, punch her, knocked a few of her teeth out etc. i am horribly ashamed of it now, and the guilt still keeps me up. what the adults in my life didn’t know was that during that time i was being sexually abused. my sister never was, and she never stood up for me. my sister has videos from a very, very old tablet of me getting angry and lashing out and it kills me inside every time she shows these videos to people or tells them about how awful i was. she appears to enjoy the horror on peoples faces on realising what a horrible person i am.

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SkylightDuneagle@reddit

There were auditions for the school choir when I was 6 and in primary 2. We had to line up and sing happy birthday. The teacher then told us in front of everyone whether we made the cut or not. I didn’t. The worst part was I was in that same woman’s choir in the local church on a Friday night. What a nasty old b*tch to humiliate a small child like that. I’ve never forgotten it and wish I could hop in a Time Machine back to punch her in the face on my behalf!

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pepabysmalls@reddit

Aged 8 or 9. It was soup making day. We didn’t have much money so I was hungry, I also had sensory processing issues with food. My teacher scolded me in front of the whole class for eating too much soup, and called me greedy. I felt so ashamed. Have literally had disordered eating ever since.

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Laujaa@reddit

I was about 8 or 9 and before school I lied to my dad about something stupid. I truly can't remember what, but it would have been something silly as my dad was really really strict on lying. And everything. After a long abusive tyrade he decided he would call me Liar Girl the entire walk to primary school and would say things like "Oh you don't care about this do you, Liar Girl" "Come on Liar Girl lets cross the road" etc but not in a friendly jokey way, but in a loud harsh tone and then when we got to the school gate he bellowed "BYE LIAR GIRL, HAVE A GOOD DAY AT SCHOOL LIAR GIRL" at the top of his lungs and it was so humiliating, I felt so ashamed and embarrassed all day. Needless to say, I didndt have a good day. Me and my dad are no contact now, as he only got more awful from there. But yeah, still sticks out.

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pixiefrogs@reddit

I read more than I spoke when I was younger, and as such had a really great vocabulary. In year 3 my teacher (rest in piss Mrs Hackland) wrote the word "chaos" on the board and asked if anyone could say it out loud. I confidently replied (phonetically speaking) "chows" because I'd only ever read it. She made me come to the front of the class and told everyone to laugh at me.

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bluebee8089@reddit

I was teaching myself to play keyboard/piano, and I’d just mastered Old Macdonald (granted, I was 15, but with no lessons and no encouragement from family/friends, I was rather proud of myself for being able to play it with two hands, one playing chords, one playing the melody, plus a key change)… Anyway, my ex-stepmother (thankfully ex) insisted that me, my brother, and her youngest kid went to the local social club with her and my dad every week on a Sunday that happened to have a piano. So I made a beeline for it thinking I could show my little stepsister how I could play this one tune (she actually seemed impressed). But my stepmother shouted across the room that I was “practically a grown-up” and “shouldn’t be playing kids music”. Then she got up while I was showing my stepsister how to play the melody and snatched both my hand and my stepsister’s hand off the piano and called me words that would probably get me banned from this subreddit in front of her family, my dad’s side of the family that was there, and indeed, the whole of the social club. Nobody else minded, in fact, a lot of the people there wouldn’t have had a clue what to do with a piano, so they were impressed that someone had taken an interest. But I found that acutely embarrassing and didn’t touch a piano or keyboard for… 8 years. Despite me doing music for GCSE, I refused point blank to have piano/keyboard involved in any of my studies because of this shitty woman

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Impossible_Disk_43@reddit

>my dad’s side of the family that was there, I hope your dad's side were livid on your behalf, including your dad himself. What a bitch.

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upadownpipe@reddit

I was in Blackpool on a driving holiday with the family. I think I was 10. There was a shop that had a window that said "do not look in this window" so obviously I went a tried to have a look. It was some sort of jokeshop, horror shop, fancy dress place so a head on a spike came shooting up from behind the glass in a jump scare. I did that cartoon action where my legs gave way whilst i tried to run away so i just essentially scrambled, rolled and fell 10 feet back. My family and about 30 other people all saw it obviously and it got a reaction like a street performer. My family still bring it up. 30 years later I'm finally on with it.

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SoPernicious@reddit

I got a B in Maths GCSE when I was predicted an A. I went in pretty confident so was gutted. Two teachers openly laughed about it and my mom made a comment about I should get used to being below standard. It wasn’t the end of the world and now I realise I still did well but at the time, I just wanted the world to swallow me up. I felt so stupid for being confident.

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Visible-Management63@reddit

To be honest there are probably too many to mention. My mother definitely had a narcissistic streak and would humiliate me a lot, both in front of family and in public. My younger brother would get it too, but I definitely got it worse because he was the favourite. I now know I have ADHD and my traits probably tested her patience, but that's no excuse. One thing she used to say a lot was tell me she thought I was borderline autistic, which I am definitely not. Now she says she doesn't remember any of the things she said and did, but I'm not sure I buy it.

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BECKYISHERE@reddit

At school aged 13 with a crush on a boy, I wrote a very cheesy love poem to him in my workbook during a very dreary lesson, the teacher noticed and took the book and read the poem to the entire class and then made me go and read it to the headmaster in his office. Cringe.

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Dougalface@reddit

The maternal side of my family has a history of anxiety. As a result both my grandmother and mother were invasive, suffocating parents. My mother had obviously tried to curtail this in herself having recognised it in her own mother, but it was still there to a significant extent (and yes, I'm that way to an extent as well but no kids for me!). Curfews were early and activities restricted, while locations, those I associated with and relevant contact phone numbers always had to be known. On one occasion when I was in my early teens I wanted to visit a friend in the next village on my bike (maybe 2-3 miles and something I'd never usually do). I think I lied to my mother knowing she'd refuse to let me and went anyway. She caught me up in the car about a mile of the village, the bike was slung in the back of the car and carted home. This absolute humilation effectively destroyed what already scant and fragile feelings of self-confidence, self-determinism. and self-worth I might have had. Decades later this, along with all the other baggage that came with, this still makes me guarded and defensive around my mother; to the point where if she asks what now is a perfectly reasonable question of her adult son regarding my movements, she intentionally gets the most blunt, dismissive and unhelpful answer.. "Oh, you're going away for the weekend - going anywhere nice?" "Nope". At my age my response is petty, irrational and tbh I wish I could just get over it, but her questions still anxiety, discomfort and suspicion, while the lingering resentment within me gains some satisfaction from exercising some pathetic control that I couldn't as a child. Of course no way of knowing how much all this really affected me and I don't really dwell on this incident / other shortcomings of my upbringing any more, however I do sometimes wonder how different I'd be if I'd told her to fuck off on that day and just kept going; rather having my fledgeling agency crushed during its infancy through being unable to defy my own mother even as a supposedly rebellious teenager.

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stuaird1977@reddit

I remember wanting something for my computer when I was a kid, think it would have been the commodore 64, and my sister said the item I wanted was for sale and this person had been in touch and to ring him back, his name was mr Lyon and she gave me Chester zoo phone number... Gutted... I've since used this on my wife on April fools day when we were getting a mortgage, told. Her Mr Lyon had called from the bank lol

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RestaurantAntique497@reddit

A new teacher once asked if I had something wroong with me when I answered something with a speech impediment. I can only assume she thought I was taking the piss but I just sat there awkwardly like no miss that's how I talk and just didn't speak again unless I really needed it.

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MoreCat3575@reddit

Mine is quite tame by comparison to some of the posts here, but it’s definitely my memories of PE at school. We usually had to play football and the same two people would usually be chosen as captains and allowed to pick their own teams. I was pretty bad at football so I’d usually be the last pick on any team, but I remember distinctly that the two captains argued because neither wanted me on their team, and in the end I just sat out and didn’t bother playing, and tried to avoid doing PE as much as I could after that. Idk shit like that sticks with you.

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StillJustJones@reddit

In the 80’s, when I was a teenager, I had a Saturday job in a car dealership and service centre. The blokes in there were big time wind up merchants and every week would try and catch me out by asking me to go and fetch tartan paint, left handed screw drivers etc…. I was normally wise enough to suss it out. One time, I disappeared for most of the morning to skive off when they asked me to go and fetch ‘a long weight’… when I came back the boss had a pop at me about where I’d been all morning and I told him I ‘got the longest wait the stores kept’. I got a few slaps on the back and kudos from ‘the lads’. However the following week the bastards caught me out by asking me to fetch ‘3 metres of fallopian tubes’. I was 13or 14 and was clueless!

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bobsand13@reddit

are you will mackenzie? another few like that I remember people doing to new starts on the building sites were a bubble for a spirit level, asking the mechanics to fill up the forklift wheels (solid rrubber, and a skirting ladder.

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Just_Score_4167@reddit

I went to a Christian Parish Church school (there were only 3 brown kids in my class including me). We all had to sing hymns and we didn't want to because we thought for religious reasons, this meant doing something bad. Our teacher stopped the entire class halfway through and explained that it was because the "three monkeys in the middle" were not joining in. This was in the 90s but you would be surprised how many people don't believe me.

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SkipMapudding@reddit

When my son started nursery at three he did a painting and put his name on it. His nursery teacher loudly told me off for teaching him capital letters saying it was more work for her having to unteach bad habits when it came to reading. He could read but apparently that was unacceptable as he needed to learn Jolly Phonics. I could read at three as could my husband so didn’t think it was an issue.

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happytiara@reddit

I was slut shamed/mocked by an aunt when I was 13-14? I was dressed appropriately for my age and had coke bottle glasses as well as a monobrow. It was very strange and I’m a room full of family, I had to hold back my tears. I comfort myself with the thought that she is now dead.

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i_sesh_better@reddit

I remember a friend on a school trip interrogating me about why I had no armpit hair, then he decided and declared I’d shaved my armpits. We were only about 13/14 but it made me so insecure about myself, I gave him a dressing down about it a few years later when he brought it up. Felt good then.

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X573ngy@reddit

Loads of occasions. I remember once time though, i used to get kicked out the house at 730 in the morning so my mum could go to work and I would just walk to school (yr 5 or so) and I would get there for about 8am which is mega early. Anyway I wasn't well, and despite that I was still forced to go to school. I really really needed the toilet so despite being by a locked door by the toilets a teacher saw me, I waived at them and they said nope, you can't use the toilet you are too early so will have to wait. I went round to the reception office and they wouldn't let me in either despite me begging and by this point I basically shit myself. So when they finally opened the door some 30 mins later I had cold shit all down me. They then proceeded to chastise me. I had to sit in a corridor in a binbag away from everyone. My dad came from work to pick me up and take me home. So by that point I'd been sat in my own shit for about 2 hours. Late 90s. Another occasion same era, I was about 9 or so and had an older cousin, he was about 12 we were helping my grandad with hay bales for the horses. When in the back of the land-rover my cousin threatened me, he said if I didn't kiss his horse shit covered shoes he would wack me with the bar from a jack so I nailed him one in the face and knocked out some teeth. My grandad, would not hear anything other than what my cousin lied to him about. I was called vicious, a horrible shit, violent and allsorts. Same cousin a year or so later threatened some youths with a knife, more to the point they was throwing stones at us in the park so he pulled out a blade and chased them. I got the blame for that. Police came to our house because my cousin blamed me for it. and my dad gave me such a good fucking hiding before taking me down to the station to give a statement and also have my prints and mugshot taken. I was 10 or 11. Again grandad had something to say. Which I got my revenge, he was dying in hospital and I was made to visit, which was about 150 miles away. He was really made up I'd made the effort to come and how sorry he was for "backing the wrong grandchild" I said it was too late to say sorry to me, and that while it's sad he was dying, I said that I wouldn't miss him and probably wouldn't think about him all that much. He was crushed. That man caused so much family trauma. I'm estranged from my mum because of all the needless hammering I got as a child, and you know what he excuse is, well that's how I was brought up. I can't help the way I am, it's all the punishments your grandad used to give us. Yes mum because making a child kneel on rice is punishment. Same with melting my skin off when I was 3 or 4 by running my hand under hot water. Anyway, I have kids of my own and while I acknowledge my temper is sometimes short like my parents, I do my absolute best to try and not be like them. I have never smacked my kids because I want to try and break that cycle. It fears me. The worst I do is tell my daughter I'm going to put her back in nappies like the baby because she doesn't wipe her arse properly and doesn't ask for help either. She's 4, but starts reception in September so Ideally we don't want pooey pants. Anyway thanks for coming to my trauma Ted talk, I am fucked up, but at least I'm trying to do better

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tunapurse@reddit

terrible mate, some people dont deserve to be parents, fucking lunatics, always blame their behaviour on their parents before them as if thats a good excuse, theres plenty of people who've been to hell on earth who are good empathetic people so that argument isnt good enough for me. fuck your cousin aswell sounds like a right fucking weasel, all the best 👍

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X573ngy@reddit

Yeah he is. One of them cunts when shaking your hand has to be the hardest. Lol there's loads of times like that, I've forgot more than I know, just my mum mostly being a dick, my dad though that poor cunt doesn't know how to pick women, his ex wife was a wretched piece of shit n all.

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Aggressive-Peace-698@reddit

You're not a fucked up person, you are instead a strong person who has been through hell and trying your best to undo any learnt behaviour. Fucked up people don't make those efforts. Loved what you said to your grandfather, so free passes, bo pussy-footing about. He never earned your forgiveness whilst he was alive.

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X573ngy@reddit

Oh I am. It taken me until I was 30 to cut people out of my life.

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Sea_M_Pea@reddit

In the mid 1980s, as a 10 year old, our class were told that after playing football we had to undress and shower in front of a teacher (the rationale was that they could see we actually did shower properly). I didn’t realize at the time, but looking back, it’s quite clear that everyone who was involved in that decision was just a dirty pedo

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wasdice@reddit

The non-noncey rationale - which makes a lot of sense - was to subtly check for bruises so prevent a different kind of child abuse. To be honest Esther Rantzen probably achieved a lot more when she set up Childline, but it wasn't entirely for the benefit of shrub rocketeers

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aljama1991@reddit

We had the same shit in the late 90s / early 00s, one of the teachers would sit outside the showers and watch all the prepubescent boys showering naked. Delightful

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aqvaesvlis@reddit

Wait, this is abuse? My school had this in the late 90s early 2000s - you’re right that is pretty weird when you think about it

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SnowflakeMods2@reddit

This is every school child from the 80s. Had to have a shower after pe and the teacher would watch you coming in and out.

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Delicious-Cut-7911@reddit

I was 13 yrs (f) and it was 1969. It was my first year in secondary school and showers were a new experience at school. Usually we all lined up with out towels wrapped round us and then put them on a window ledge in the communal shower room, dipped under the water and then grabbed the towel back. This very young p.e. teacher told us to line up naked and leave the towels on the changing room pegs. It was so humiliating standing there for 5 mins waiting to get in the actual shower. Looking back now, I think she was a lesbian and as she was only probably 22 yrs old was attracted to young teenage girls reaching puberty.

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Jazzlike-Banana6378@reddit

Omg 😦

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Tenbob73@reddit

I'm sorry but that is too funny.

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Miss_Type@reddit

Just because I (twice) locked the keys in the car, my mum and brother bring it up if we're together and locking any car doors. It wasn't like I did it (twice) on purpose, even that time we were abroad and no one spoke enough french to explain what had happened.

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squesh@reddit

Was about 13 years old, mum took us to Spain. One day I had a big lay in, came downstairs to the pool at midday, mum slaps me round the face in front of everyone for being lazy. Fun times

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tunapurse@reddit

i burned myself as a kid, quite a few times, usually while drunk. i didnt really understand why i did it at the time but now im older and wiser im aware it was an act of self harm, i was sat at the dining table (make no mistake, he only used to make us sit at the table so he could practice his intimidation tactics on us 3 young lads) and my dad starts going off on me about this lighter burn on my hand- saying how disgusting it looks, in a disproportionately aggresive way as if i was being berated by an army drill instructor, scowling, as he talks to me like im scum. i'm not surprised, this is typical of him, i couldve not had the burn and i stil lwouldve got ripped into for something or other. anyways i start silently weeping, still eating the grim dinner hes made out of fear of treading on another eggshell whilst he goes about his buisness picking on the other two. ironic that my caregiver thinks the way to combat my self harm is to make me feel even more worthless and ashamed of myself. this particular humiliation infront of my family isnt so bad compared to the woes of other scorned children, and its not the worst thing hes done but it reallt stuck with me. the indifference to my injury, the apathy, and the borderline sadistic tirade he went on- watching me clearly shrink inside of myself as he called me all manner of cunts. thing is, with my old twat of a dad, was that he was always 'there' for us in terms of providing food or money. we weren't regularly beaten, but he was always looking to intimidate, i always felt like i was one wrong step away from getting my head kicked in- and we werent bad kids. around the house we were extremely obedient. quuet, submissive and ultimately kind boys. it was all so undeserved. unless youve experienced this kind of constant threatening atmosphere yourself its hard to imagine, because he was so violently explosive for the most arbitrary reasons. to conclude my rant, some people are sadists who get off on humiliating and degrading others, and those people deserve all the bad that comes to them. and my dad was one of those people.

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Eg0n0@reddit

My Dad was similar, I was a really kind and quiet kid, but he would fly off the handle and intimidate me at the smallest things. As an adult I realised that I had developed avoidant behaviour because I subconsciously assume everyone was going to get as angry as he would

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MammyMun@reddit

I was 7 or 8 and staying with my nanna. I had to go to school there and the school photographer came around. I was not a pretty child. One of my eyes turned in and my hair was always sticking up or messy. Anyway, my photo didn't develop properly so I had it for free. My mother and sisters thought it was hilarious that I got my photo for free and said I broke the camera because I was so ugly.

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CarolDanversFangurl@reddit

Bunch of spiteful cunts

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Dull-Geologist-8204@reddit

As a kid I thought black Irish meant black people who were Irish. I was a full grown adult when I mentioned this and my mom laughed then informed me I am black Irish.

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CarolDanversFangurl@reddit

What does it mean then? I've never heard the phrase.

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simonannitsford@reddit

I called my brother a twat and was sent to my room. Love it, not the room sending though. How did you get your revenge?

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andrewhudson88@reddit

My Dad was part of a “group” of business men who would meet weekly, IYKYK. He would be the on organising group trips and holidays for them, where them and their families would all go on holiday to Benidorm, Turkey, day trips out to places in the summer on a coach, every September was a double decker coach to Blackpool for the illuminations. As a kid I was always called gay, they were right, but as a young kid you really don’t know that you’re gay because you’re not sexually thinking, but there are traits people would pick up on and label me gay. Whatever, that was school time. Then on these trips, others would start commenting to my Dad that I was too “flouncy” and would walk with a natural skip in my step and my arms swinging, and he pulled me aside, during a Blackpool trip, and took his belt off and wrapped it round my body and arms, to keep them by my side while walking because he said people were making fun of me for my arms swinging, so he was doing me a “favour” by keeping them by my side. Was mortified having to walk around places with this leather belt round my elbows and torso. So silly.

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vpkd95@reddit

From primary to secondary school I was humiliated so badly by fellow kids or teachers and even some relatives. It had such a major impact on my life that had I not been subject to that humiliation growing up I would have been a much better person than I am now.

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Leading_Screen_4216@reddit

As a child my dad would tell complete strangers I was a moron. He seemed to think it was a funny ice breaker.

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Odd-Weekend8016@reddit

My uncle was like this with his son (my little cousin). My cousin was a bright, but somewhat careless little boy, who always had his head in the clouds. Instead of teaching him how to focus, and encouraging his imagination, his dad would say hundreds of times a day, and to anyone who'd listen: "This is my son, the idiot!" "There goes my stupid son." "He's a moron!" His mum never stepped in. Obviously as other relatives, we'd ask him not to speak that way, and try to encourage my cousin and tell him positive things about himself, but there's only so much you can do when you're not the parent, and his mum put up with it. They're shocked that their son is approaching 20, left home at 17, and doesn't speak to either of them any more. Shocked and appalled.

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powpow198@reddit

There's no funny side to this.

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MPD1987@reddit

My parents didn’t “ground” me when I was in trouble- they would just randomly break my things or take them from my room, and then not tell me why. I had to figure it out. I’d come home from school and my favourite CD would be broken, or some toy that I loved would be missing. I would ask about it, and they’d tell me “I know what I did” and to “figure it out”. Sometimes I knew, other times I didn’t. There was no “you did __ behaviour, so you lost your privileges” discussion, and no discussions on what I could do to earn my stuff back or how long they would be keeping it. I also wasn’t allowed to get upset about it, or I was “throwing a fit”. As an adult, this has resulted in so many disordered behaviours, namely severe anxiety and extreme territorialism over my possessions. I mostly never knew when I was going to get in trouble as a kid, so as a grownup, I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop, and I always have a gnawing sense of dread. It’s awful.

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Eg0n0@reddit

I was 5 years old at my parents wedding reception/party. Without warning the music stopped and the dance floor cleared, the DJ announced I would be doing a special dance and he put on a Michael Jackson record. I stood there on empty dance floor with about 150 peoples eyes on me and I froze having no idea what was happening, my dad tried to encourage me to do an impromptu dance, something that he had planned without me knowing. There was a mix of aw’s and laughs as I left the dance floor with tears in my eyes.

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claireinmanchester@reddit

When I was about 5 or 6 I was sat by the door i the classroom where if someone came to the door I had to open it, one day the head teacher came along so I opened the door and smiled at her... well she went mental "Wipe that stupid grin off your face" genuinely affected me for years, and actually a few years later bumped into her outside of school and she said sorry!

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echoesreach@reddit

Mines fairly mild compared to some of these here but one Christmas morning my little sister, who was a toddler got a toy of some sort, I think it was a jack in the box type thing. Either way, it didn't work very well when she tried it. The receipt was in the box and I read "received" and said "no wonder it was reduced!" They all laughed and took the piss. Really odd cause it's fairly mild but I felt really humiliated. I don't think it was really a nasty thing to do, they were just having a laugh but surprised at how much that memory has stuck in my had. Over 25 years ago

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Rylicenceya@reddit

This is such a relatable story! It's amazing how these little incidents from our childhood stick with us for so long, isn't it? It's great that you took that experience and used it as a lesson on how to treat your own kids. Thanks for sharing this humorous and heartwarming memory! As for my own childhood humiliations, I think we all have a few tucked away. But hey, they make for great stories, right?

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corduroy_puffin@reddit

I was about 7/8, helping Mum to bring the washing in off the line. A neighbour had a pear tree in their garden with a ton of fruit on it. I asked Mum if you could get "cooking pears" - after all, you can get cooking apples, apples aren't unlike pears so why not cooking pears? Mum said cooking pears didn't exist, but found it hilarious and just laughed & laughed. I can't explain exactly why I felt humiliated, I think it was because Mum didn't laugh very often and I didn't understand why she found my question funny.

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Some__worries@reddit

There are definitely better types of pear to cook with, so not a stupid question at all.

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smellyfeet25@reddit

sorry but this did make me smile

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miz_moon@reddit

Every time I wore shorts, my dad used to call me ‘the only gay in the village’. Little Britain came out when I was very young so I had to put up with that comment all my childhood smh

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CuteNeedleworker9@reddit

Church parade not longer after joining the Brownies (so I was 7). Another Brownie had the same coat as me and took mine by mistake so I thought hers which was still hanging on the peg was mine. When lined up to start the parade the other Brownie's grandmother (who was a regular at the church) came over and started shouting at me, calling me a thief and grabbed me. I had no idea what she was on about until one of the leaders intervened and told her about the mix up.

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propaROCKnROLLA@reddit

I was at my foster home. Either 4 or 5 at the time. Both the foster parents were telling me off for something and made me stand in front of them. I told them I was desperate for the toilet. They wouldn’t let me move from the spot until they had finished berating me. After about 10 minutes they said I could go to the toilet. I told them I didn’t need it anymore, I was stood in a puddle at this point. That got me a more severe punishment which I won’t delve into. I’m only 35, so it wasn’t exactly an archaic different time.

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SataySue@reddit

PE in underwear anyone? (70s primary school)

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Tsuyu_uwu@reddit

I was forced to undress in public, forced to apologize to my uncle after reporting he beats me, told I should be sold to brother to perform feeder fetish because I overweight, food would be taken from me and throan to the dog, my face would be smashed to the plate. After cooking my food would be firstly given to the dog to see if he survives.

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Jazzlike-Banana6378@reddit

Omg I hope you’re winning at life at cut these people off

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Tsuyu_uwu@reddit

I cut them all.

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crucible@reddit

Bloody hell. I hope you’re doing well in life now.

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EnragedHorse@reddit

Went to the beach with my Dad. I was maybe 10 or something. He ran down the beach towards the water holding my hand, except instead of stopping at the water. He sling shot me in to the water letting go of my hand thinking it would be a joke. Except it was shingle stones and I went head first in causing me to bruise and cut myself to bits on the rocks. That isn't the humiliating bit, then then continually lied to my Mum and siblings that I had fallen over on my own accord. Blaming me instead of admitting what he'd done. I was so upset I went back to the car and cried in the car on a roasting hot day for 5 hours and everyone though I was just sulking.

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forthe_comments@reddit

My year 2 teacher mocked me in front of the class for asking for help to spell my full name to write on my class drawer. My name is quite long and since I was born I had a nick name. I can still remember how she stood up and told the class 'she can't even spell her own name' ha ha ha. After that I struggle to ask for help throughout school for anything and didn't go on to do well until I met a lovely social worker later in life that encouraged me to go to college and gain credits for university.

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SamVimesBootTheory@reddit

I had really long hair as a kid and didn't always like having it up (partly bc my mum was often kind of rough with my hair) I went on a swimming lesson and I had to go underwater for some reason or chose to Either way I came back up and my swimming instructor decided to point at me and go 'Hey its Cousin It!' Seemingly to the entire swimming pool (I mean probably not that many people heard but you know)

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Super-Craig@reddit

My familiy was so poor that my first pair of Nike trainers were ones I'd fished out of a retail park trash bin. They were a bit tight, but I wore them, and I looked amazing in them. I proudly wore them home, still not quite believing my luck. When I got home and my mother noticed me showing them off to my Dad, she quickly pulled me aside and put her hands on my shoulders and sternly asked if I'd stolen them. When I said I hadn't, I remember her hand on the side of my face lifting my head up to look her in the eye, and she asked where I got them from, and I told her. I remember that look of shame and disappointment on her face, and the tears in her eyes. I love my Mother, and my respect for her only grew over the years as I Iearned what she sacraficed to bring me into the world and provide for me. That moment was one of my the most humiliated ones in my life, as my Mother quietly turned away from me and dismissed me to my room, as I was leaving I could see my Dad walking over to her and putting his arms around her as she put her hands on the countertop. Over the years I've looked back at this moment, around about the time I started high school I finally understood that she wasn't ashamed of me, she was ashamed for herself, and her inability to provide for her family. This is just one small part of why I give so much of my income to my family. I definitely do resent my younger siblings for not understanding what it was like to live in such poverty, that a pair of clearence bargain bucket Nike trainers was such a grotesquely expensive luxuary, that it brought our Mother to tears. However, at the same time I don't want any of them to ever have to experience such soul crushing levels of poverty, to make a choice between eating or heating the home, and then realising that they can't afford either.

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Charley-Says@reddit

What a beautifully described scene in the kitchen, I felt like I was there...

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Throwwtheminthelake@reddit

I remember trying to talk to my grandad about birds, as I used to be really passionate about them, and my grandads friends kept making ‘tit’ jokes, which were really uncomfortable for me as a young girl - they weren’t directed towards me, but just made me feel so frustrated that they wouldn’t listen to a topic I was passionate about

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Icy_Gap_9067@reddit

Reminds me of when we did our cycling proficiency at primary in year 6. The guy showing us the road signs kept trying to make rude jokes such as the one with the two humps for uneven road looked like 'a lady laying down', who the fuck says that to a room of 10 year old kids.

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Charley-Says@reddit

A proper Jimmy Savile testing the waters...

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YardActive2627@reddit

I was a 12yr old girl on the beach with family and my stepdad was obsessed with not getting a grain of sand in his car. He made me run down to the water to wash the sand off NAKED! This included having to pass a boy of a similar age that I'd been "flirting" with. This was one of many similar incidents but definitely the one that sticks in my mind most. Actually, driving home from the same holiday and we'd been on the road a good few hours and I mentioned I needed the loo. He refused to stop and kept driving for another 2 hours, by which time it was too late. He made me sit in wet clothes all the way home.

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Bish_Bosh88@reddit

Back in Year 7 I had this quite old Irish home economics teacher who would consistently shout at me or try to find things wrong with my work in front of the whole class. If she were like this with everyone I would get it. Worth noting as well this class was full of troublemakers who genuinely did really fuck around but they would only get the most mild telling off. One time she berated the class because someone stuck a 'kick me' sign to her back. Everyone laughed and I must admit I smiled, but of course she only noticed me having a quick smirk and had a massive go at me in front of everyone as though I was the one who did it. Looking back over 20 years later, I think she simply didn't like me because I have a very English name in what was otherwise a very mixed race/heritage class. Thankfully, she must be dead now.

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DoctorScary5175@reddit

I moved to the UK from Australia as a kid and i had a really hard time adjusting. The first teacher I had here used to stand me up in front of the class and ask me questions, and when I'd answer in my australian accent she'd mimic me and laugh, making the whole class laugh too. That teacher was a really nasty piece of work and I have no idea why she chose to teach children, but after that I stopped speaking and became really shy.

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Civil_opinion24@reddit

Joke's on them. You can actually buy a cleaning product now called elbow grease and it's fantastic stuff

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RyanRhysRU@reddit

was out with bio mother was about 6 or 7 bought me girls clothes

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schmoovebaby@reddit

I was six and we were doing all the variations of adding up to 10 (9+1, 8+2 etc). I’ve never been great at maths and didn’t really know the variations other than 5+5. My teacher decided that the best way to teach me would be to haul me up in front of the class, call me a “stupid dolly” then make me write all the variations down without looking at the board. Well fuck you Miss O’Brian because I did look at the board, you just didn’t see me

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Jazzlike-Banana6378@reddit

Wow

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schmoovebaby@reddit

Yup

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Flat_Jackfruit_1499@reddit

My friend taught me to tap dance at school because my mum never stuck out clubs with me. I showed my dad really proud and I thought he was proud to. Turns out at a family bbq he got everyone to watch me and then mock me. I was maybe 10. Confidence has never come back.

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One-Dig-3067@reddit

My auntie just used to mug me off in front of everyone! Even making me cry at birthday parties.. it was very odd. This was like up to the age of 14 aswell

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Speedbird223@reddit

When I was about 10yrs old we had a school trip to France. I went to a small school and the top 3yrs all went (only about 30 of us, admittedly) and stayed in this large farmhouse with dorms, etc. There was a rotation for dishwashing duty after dinner each night. I mentioned I had no idea how to wash dishes because I hadn’t learned that in the Cub Scouts…and I mean we had a dishwasher at home…(this was the 1990s, it wasn’t that weird?!)

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breadandfire@reddit

Wow(!) they still talk about it? It must be a very boring part of the world.

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Extension-Lie-1380@reddit

its the fucking "20 years later and people still mention it" thing that gets me. It's like people collect these little social-humiliation chits they can hand out for decades. People say its supposed to keep you grounded or "if we don't act like cunts towards you we don't love you" But really its demeaning and undermining.

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VeronicaMarsIsGreat@reddit

I had a really bad stammer at school. Thankfully I grew out of it, but I vividly remember we had this theatre group come in to do activities with us. We were stood in a circle and they were going round asking questions. They asked me where I lived and I said 'Er.....Er....Brighton'. The lead guy said 'And how long have you lived in 'Er Er Brighton'. Lots of people laughed. Not maliciously, just because of his timing. I didn't cry then but I did later. That was twenty years ago and I still remember what an awful thing that was to do to a stammering kid. Cunt.

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Odd_Kel@reddit

When I was 10 we had a teacher in school that halfway through the year got replaced by this way younger teacher, fresh out of school. Everyone loved her because she put on videos in class and such but for some reason she was always picking on me. I was an extremely shy child and never really talked to anyone, especially adults. This teacher had decided that our class was going to put on a show for the entire school. Reciting poetry and such. Everyone got put in groups of 2 to 5 people except me, I got one on my own. This alone already horrified me. During the last rehearsal before the entire class, the teacher staff and the kids 1 grade higher she tells me to come on the stage and gives the instruction that I should walk on and then sit down and do my bit. So I ask "how do you want me to sit down?" Meaning like crossed legs, sideways, ... Her reply was "On your ass obviously. Are you dumb?" And then she laughed. Everyone laughed. I sat down and crossed my legs and then got yelled at I wasn't sitting right. Till this day I really dislike that woman and I don't understand how an "adult" gets pleasure out of bullying a 10 year old child like that. I think of her as a very weak person but she made me even more shy than I already was.

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Sea-Particular9959@reddit

Oh boy. Probably my biggest secret simply because it hurt so much and was so embarrassing was when I was 3 years old and playing board games with my nana and mum. I needed to go to the bathroom and told them but I thought they wouldn’t stop and wait for me and they kept talking so I held it. Eventually I started peeing myself and I’d never done that before and I started crying and announcing what was happening. My mum and nana laughed so hard at me. That nana was my favorite nana and was otherwise 100% lovely. I had another nana who was abusive and nasty. I genuinely switched nanas in my memory, clear as day, because I didn’t want to remember that my favorite nana caused me that much pain. When she passed when I was about 25 years old, it hit me one night soon after and I remembered the actual memory. It was super weird. I have another more abusive memory of being locked in a room where a whole school could see me crying and being force fed by a teacher but I found that more traumatic and more crippingly humiliating. For years after the toilet incident I ended up having issues with going too often out of fear that I’d wet myself again. I still can’t wear the type of outfit I wore that day for some reason. It’s strange how small things can end up really causing damage. I’d never laugh at my child, I think it’s the most nasty thing.

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SadAd7270@reddit

I was a about 14 and mentioned to my sister how the boy around the corner who was about 16/17 and friends with my sister and cousin would stand and watch me sometimes as I walked to the bus stop for school. The following day my mums best friend, her son (about 18)my auntie and cousin were over the house when I got home from school. They and my parents and sister were in the living room and my mobile phone kept ringing but I wouldn’t answer cos it was a number I didn’t have. Then a text came through when I wasn’t in the room and my mum called me in and said you’ve got a message, read it. They were all looking at me and it was a message saying it was this boy and how he fancied me and all this stuff. I didn’t say anything because my family had mocked me a few months previously when I’d told them how a car of men wolf whistled me in my uniform walking to Asda and seemed to think someone fancying me was comedy gold. But they kept pushing asking who kept ringing and messaging me so I said Ben and they were all smirking saying message him back but I refused. They were all so pushy and giddy. Turned out it was my mums friends son, they were all talking about it before I got home because my sister told them and thought it was hilarious to publicly humiliate me together into thinking this boy was actually interested in me.

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DrewidN@reddit

I was seven or eight, we were doing a maths quiz. The teacher would read out a question (simple multiplication) which we would write down and solve. This was a long time ago, pre-calculators. I was finding them pretty simple, but being a cocky little shit I was being uber-smug about it, (muttering "easy" and similar.) The teacher decided to bring me down a peg by giving me a solo question I couldn't possibly answer. "If a circle has a radius of 12, what's the circumference?" Obviously I had no clue, didn't even know what the words meant at that point. That totally shut me up, completely humiliated. That totally put me off maths as a subject, I stopped even trying from then on. The way things worked out it probably changed the whole course of my school life and eventual career, no exaggeration.

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occasionalrant414@reddit

I remember in year 2 Mrs Pritchard (back in 1990 - so hopefully she is dead now) read out my attempt at the writing excercise to the whole class. I had spelt pies wrong. I remember what she said (in an exasperated tone): "Charlie at the mince piss and liked them - you really are stupid. All you had to do was copy the text". I got sent to the headteacher Mrs Tagg (who sadly is still alive) and because she thought I was backward I got put in with the downsyndrome kids. My dad was coming home from work formlunch and saw me in outside with them and again when he left to go back to work an hour later. He called onto the school and whilst he won't divulge the entire conversation it seems that both Protchard and Tagg thought I was slightly retarded. Turns out I am lazy, not stupid. I'm 40 and it still sits with me.

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Pippin4242@reddit

I was very small when I stood at the banks of the river and confidently said "I can intimidate a frog! Ribbit, ribbit." My parents went OFF and it kind of crushed me.

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DemmickyOne@reddit

I have no idea what is happening How did you know the word "intimidate" when you were very small and what does "OFF" stand for?

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Pippin4242@reddit

Hyperverbal kid, inclined to pick things up and slightly misuse them. Off is capitalised for emphasis, and by "go off" I meant like. The amount they took the piss, the degree to which they laughed at me and not with me, how long they tried to keep the joke going at my expense.

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Ok_Computer_3003@reddit

My youngest is the same. When he was little he could hear a word once and would immediately use it correctly in context. My wife is a speech therapist, and would just look at him, amazed. Sorry they took the piss out of you. I expect, ironically, they were intimidated by your ability

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OctopusIntellect@reddit

It's the frog I feel sorry for. Intimidated *and* ridiculed. People have been doing this to frogs ever since Aristophanes first came up with the idea.

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Romfordian@reddit

Toaday I learned

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WhatIfIReallyWantIt@reddit

This has really stuck with you well into your 40s. This is not a shitpost/reply, it is genuine - consider getting a talking therapy. My wife would be happier if like 50% of the population got it, not cause they're nuts, but in the same way you get your car serviced. It's expensive I know and lots of therapists are crap unfortunately (its like wedding photographers, everyone gets a certificate and thinks they can do it). I am not invalidating your feelings or judging them, but this post to me suggests you'd benefit from a few low key 'tuning up' chats. (Just go to an actual therapist, not a life coach or other mental homeopathist). Also have a great long weekend!

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Scrambledpeggle@reddit

I got so much of that type of thing as the youngest child but I always laughed along despite dying inside, desperate to be part of the hilarity. The one that got me most was when I was about 11, being teased by the whole family for fancying a girl at school, they were all saying "oohhh you're going to get married" over and over until I shouted "I'll never get married, fuck off" I got grounded for a month, sent to my room with no dinner and shunned by everyone for what felt like weeks.

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it_hurts_too_poo@reddit

When I was 13/14 I decided to start a diary. After the first week, the fam (mum, 2 bro’s n sis) were sitting in the lounge watching tv, my mum started taking the piss out of things I had written in it making everyone laugh. Thing is, it was in a secret drawer under a porn mag. I didn’t keep a diary.

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Comfortable_Dish5983@reddit

My dad bought me a fossilised piece of a dinosaur egg because I used to love geography and geology and was a big dinosaur fan. I never knew what type of dinosaur it ever was, probably something insignificant but the fossil was super cool. I took it to school for show and tell and I got horrifically bullied by almost everyone, claiming it was fake and that I was a liar. For YEARS people would mock me about it, even my "best friend". It ruined all my passion for all of the above and I went from a bubbly excited child to a reserved and very depressed child. I'm nearly 30 and this happened when I was like 5 or 6? Even the teacher mocked and said it wasn't a real dinosaur egg. I'm mostly at peace now but I genuinely still remember how people mocked me and laughed.

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Nedonomicon@reddit

Messed up my 12 times tables in front of the class and got the ruler

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SketchbookProtest@reddit

Racism and homophobia

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abradubravka@reddit

Danced infront of my parents when I was like 7 and never did so again. Similarly told them I had a crush once, never lived it down. As all the comments say if you want to raise your kids to be functioning socially healthy people, don't do this sort of stuff. If your earliest memories are that self expression and vulnerability inevitably lead to humiliation, then you just stop. It's really hard to move past even after you realise it wasn't their intention.

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powpow198@reddit

Too many to mention really, but one that still makes me seeth to this day: We had essays due, our teacher took them in and then started marking them while we got on with other work. After about 10 minutes they got to my essay, and all of a sudden started laughing (forced / fake laughing) waiting for a student to ask what was funny, so the teacher looks up and then shoots a glance at me and tells me that [insert word] isn't a real word... obviously at this point everyone was staring at me and it was such a weird and awkward moment. The teacher stopped laughing and just kind of stared at me, but i knew they were wrong, so i just got out of my seat, grabbed a dictionary off the shelf and looked up the word. Low and behold, it was a fucking word, and so i read the definition to them, put the book down and continued with my work. The teacher didn't acknowledge that they were wrong and just continued marking essays, and pretended nothing had happened. The mix of humiliation, rage and the need to prove someone wrong was strong. As an adult I've had not dissimilar experiences, which in a way that early experience prepared me for, but I never understood the need to try to belittle me to such an extent in front of my peers. I would never dream of doing that to someone as an adult.

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Aid_Le_Sultan@reddit

Being dropped at boarding school at 7. I was utterly crushed and still affects me over 40 years later.

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Less_Pie_7218@reddit

back in India we are made to learn English and another local language. I was 6 by then I had picked up English pretty well but not my local language. One day the teacher made me go up to the board and asked me to write my name and I wrote it wrong and she made fun of me and the whole class laughed.. I still can’t read or write in that language even though it’s the same language we speak at home..

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Electrical-Arugula29@reddit

I was about 10 when my sister was 14 and we were doing a church role play for Christmas and my sister was part of it. The rehearsal was at our house and I don't know why but my mum was so very nervous that day. I heard shouting from the room where they were so when I opened it, my sister was on all fours acting as the "sheep" and another boy had a stick in his hand dressed like the "shepherd" and my mum was standing to the side shouting "Bleatttt Sabine Bleeaaattttt beeeeeeeeee" and my sister was simultaneously crying and shouting "beeeeee" and everyone else was holding it in so hard not to laugh. I will never forget that scene.

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YchYFi@reddit

Lmao. I feel like I've read this before.

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scuzzbuckit@reddit

1st year of high school, really spotty. answered a question in design tech, and the teacher said well spotted to an uproar of laughter. could have crawled up my own arse!!!

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Madsaxmcginn@reddit

I have Tourette’s syndrome which wasn’t formally diagnosed until I was 16 and was incredibly shy about it, I spent so much energy trying to suppress it as a child and teenager. One English lesson we were doing independent reading and I heard laughter and I looked up and saw a classmate imitating one of my tics which I must have been doing while reading and the whole class were staring at me and laughing. I was utterly devastated.

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Ok-Potato-6250@reddit

Oh LOADS. I'd hear my mum tell everyone every little thing I said that was wrong, like I said "twadlets" instead of triplets, for instance. They'd all laugh. This happened all the time. I was six years old FFS. I was a nervous child and had messy handwriting. Teachers and my mum and even my brother would constantly humiliate me, as if they thought this would make my handwriting magically better. Actually it got better on its own when I went to high school and the teachers there never mentioned it. Obviously the humiliation made it worse. Even as teen and young adult, my mum loved to humiliate me. I once lost my house keys and she delighted in telling everyone (in front of me) how irresponsible I was etc etc. Then my aunt lost her house keys but that didn't make HER irresponsible, obviously. I later found mine under my bed, they fell out a pocket. My brother would read my report cards from school and comment on my struggles with Maths. I was terrible at it. Once I passed a maths test, the first one I passed that year. I was so excited and told him happily that I'd passed. He told me it wasn't a very good pass, and pissed on my parade. Left me feeling useless. He is a lot older than me and my mum liked to let him act like he was my dad, even though I had a dad. I could write a book about this.

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TheGreenPangolin@reddit

My step mum would joke about how I make lists for everything. She still does on occasion like “remember when you would make lists of everything when you were a kid haha so weird”. I just sit there awkward through it. I recently got diagnosed as autistic (like 2 years ago but I’ve only seen stepmum twice since then). Next time she says it, I’m going to try and be brave and say that I still do that (I think she thinks I’ve grown out of it), and that’s it’s an autistic coping mechanism. If I don’t have a list of what exactly I need to do in the morning to get ready, or what I need to get done that day, I’m going to do nothing and have a meltdown, but she sees it as a joke. I also got bullied at school for loads of different things which mostly turned out to be autistic things. The one that really kills me looking back though is the school bus situation. The popular guy comes and sits next to me and starts weirdly flirting (which I was clearly uncomfortable with). He puts his hand on my leg and starts moving it higher up my leg and I keep pushing his hand away. He doesn’t stop but I’m trapped against the window of the bus, so I try to hit him in the balls. He just grabs my hands and holds them out the way and keeps touching further up my leg. All this time all his mates are around us laughing. It wasn’t the only time I have been sexually assaulted but it was the only time it happened publicly. The fact there was loads of his friends stood round laughing makes me feel sick still looking back. There was also so many other kids on that bus plus the bus driver and I wonder how many heard me say “stop touching me” or “leave me alone” etc.

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Aggressive-Peace-698@reddit

You step mum is a bully and bullies always feel threarened/inferior, hence their destructive behaviour towards others. I'm neuro typical, and I make lists, as it is the only way to keep me organised and make sure I get things done. Don't ever stop doing what works for you, especially when it has no impact on others.

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Jazzlike-Banana6378@reddit

😢 xxx

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Vita_Segreta79@reddit

I was born to parents with whom I had nothing in common on an emotional level and they had no idea how to deal with it. Basically a highly neuro divergent child born to two very emotionally repressed neuro typicals obsessed with the opinions of others. I was an embarrassment to them as a child. Too expressive and curious and prone to asking questions. Never understood the NT world they lived in where the communication style was indirect and vague and everyone knew the rules except me. A nightmare for a very literal thinking and speaking child. When you stand out for all the wrong reasons in that sort of environment with no one to help you, humiliation is just the normal.

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purrst@reddit

Not really a child I had just turned 18, but I had gotten depressed and developed an eating disorder, a family member bought me a bikini as a present, I had never worn one before i always wore a full shirt and shorts to go swimming. I was immediately asked to put it on then come out and show everyone

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truffle15@reddit

My dad was taking me to the fair. I can’t remember how old I was, but I’d say 9 or under. It’s in a field and had been raining so would be pretty muddy. I don’t think my dad lived with us at this point, so I was always pretty excited having a day out with him and got myself dressed. I chose some white trousers that I thought looked really smart and grown up and when I proudly went downstairs to show my family, they all laughed at me for choosing white trousers to go to a muddy fair. Granted, I didn’t think it through but I was young and just wanted to look good for my day out with my dad and I had a roomful of adults laughing at me.

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purrst@reddit

I had similar experiences and it really affected my confidence choosing what to wear. I bet you looked dapper

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purrst@reddit

I was just made fun of a lot I cant remember what specifically it was just whenever i said something I would immediately get corrected with this "pfft" laughter sound

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h00dman@reddit

I moved to Wales when I was 7 and old women would always talk to me in Welsh and tell me off if I answered in English. I remember going to a local event with my family and I got really thirsty (boiling hot summer day), and when I tried to ask for one they'd say "No no, in Welsh" and then laugh at me when I couldn't. They're likely dead now.

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cayosonia@reddit

When I was 12 my mother had a shop. I went to buy a poppy and she said in front of everybody in the shop "watch out you'll pop them" meaning my budding breaststroke. I did my best to ignore her but when I out the pin to fasten the poppy she made a noise like a deflating balloon. I love my mother and I miss her now she is gone. I think she was just trying to be lighthearted and funny

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johnmarksmanlovesyou@reddit

Everyone In the house pretended my mother was pregnant for a full day to prank me on April the first.

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Glittering_Habit_161@reddit

The children at my primary school and also my primary teachers never thought that I was good enough. I mean the celebration books... really they're just for people who put their hand up in class and at least in secondarys school I got a few rewards My self confidence was already low at 7 and it still is now at 19

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Jazzlike-Banana6378@reddit

It will build over time x

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RandomBlondeGuy52@reddit

My teacher didn't believe there was such a thing as a left-handed pen, so she said that's like asking for a glass harmer and then sent me to the workshop department asking for a glass harmmer and I didn't realise what they meant because I knew there were left handed pens. I wasn't a smart kid

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Dyrenforth@reddit

There was a kids xmas party at the local OAP's home, with lots of entertainment. One of the acts was a magician called Stromboli or something, I think he'd been on Opportunity Knocks. Anyway he called some of us kids to the front and started making balloon animals. I must've been about 6 or 7 at the time. When it was my turn, he was twisting the balloons into some shape or other and it popped in his hands, and the bugger blamed me. Everyone laughed at my protestations. The injustice still stings.

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Extension-Lie-1380@reddit

I have many, but one which absolutely stuck with me was this. About 14 years old - Form 7? 8? Dunno. We had music class. Now, if I remember right, it was the second or third cohort to be cycled through music class that day. There would be a list of hyms and lyrics in a little leaflet left on the chair. By the second or third hour of the day these pages were looking crinkled. But mine was ripped. Someone had, likely in a moment of utter boredom made small tears, about an inch long, about an inch apart at the bottom of the sheet. I mostly ignored if and belted out All Things Bright and Beautiful or whatever it was. But I was sort of fidgetting with the tears, putting a little paper clip on and off it. However, at the end of the class, the teacher collected all the little song-sheets and then held out up "my" sheet and she was furious. How dare I vandalise school property? But I didn't. Then everyone started chanting that I was in trouble and I had deliberately torn it and I was weird. Then I was given detention for denying it. Then double detention for denying it some more. Everyone laughing and jeering and the teacher just holding the page in front of me and how I was going to get double homework every night until finally I just screamed, in tears "it wasn't me" and everything just went quiet. oh, the teacher said and sent everyone out That was funny said my best friend, but I saw you tearing it. No, I didn't. And he wasn't really my best friend after that.

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leeroythepunter@reddit

Caught my dick in zipper..had to ask for help

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I_am_notagoose@reddit

Quite early on at primary school I was being bullied by some kids around the same age or just slightly older. My Mum told me that I should tell these kids that my Mum was a witch and they wouldn’t dare bully me and would leave me alone… In fairness, this wasn’t entirely untrue - she had actually been some kind of priestess in a Wiccan cult in the seventies - but I was still mocked relentlessly for it. Thanks, Mum. Funny moment came probably a couple of years later on when she was recognised by one of my classmates in the supermarket, and this girl went over and asked her ‘are you a real witch?’ to the absolute horror of her mum who had no idea of the story behind this and just thought her daughter was insulting a random woman.

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SirGranular@reddit

I was a Roman soldier in the nativity play - basically the equivalent of getting picked last for PE. Was probably 7YO. Dress rehearsal wearing a brown cotton bed sheet smock and cardboard helmet. I need a wee....some smart kid is giving the old herod speech....I really need a wee. But I'm shy, don't want to interrupt, get in to trouble.....but now I know I'm about to burst...I burst.....my brown smock now has a darker brown wet patch and the stage.....I'm carted off.....given some doner pants and my mum comes to get me. Obviously stuck with me.

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VixenRoss@reddit

I was taken to a warners holiday village as a child in the 80s. The children ran on the dance floor to dance, I didn’t want to. My great grandmother started to have a go at me for not dancing. I was crying.

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corickle@reddit

My mum and a neighbour thought it would be fun to ask me ‘how babies were made’. I had seen an educational programme on tv so was able to explain even though I was youngish. I remember feeling humiliated but glad I had the last laugh because they thought I didn’t know.

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smeghead9916@reddit

I guess it didn't exist in 1990, but Elbow Grease is the name of an actual cleaning product [https://www.tesco.com/groceries/en-GB/products/294530429](https://www.tesco.com/groceries/en-GB/products/294530429)

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okaygoatt@reddit

We used to go to 'the social club's as kids, mum and dad were sat drinking with their friends and kids just hung around the pool tables or messed around. I remember dancing and my parents mocking me, saying I couldn't dance . They laughed a lot at me, and I've never danced since (unless I'm pretty drunk). Probably about 40 years ago now, and it still gets me when I think of dancing. I always big up my kids, if they are having fun, I'm smiling with them.

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Aggravating-Tower317@reddit

im surprised that has made you that mad. you were 9 and had no idea lol. that sort of stuff probably happened to me but i'd easily have forgotten stuff like that by now

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Cleveland_Grackle@reddit

Relentlessly by one parent for their own narcissistic needs. Still suffer with the consequences to this day and they've been dead for nearly 2 years.

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Westsidepipeway@reddit

My parents said they were originally going to call me Jezebel. I went around telling people that, including parents of friends. Then again, my parents could be dicks.

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No-Log873@reddit

I mean these are innocent and mildly amusing. Yeah, your brother was a bit of a twat. I'm afraid we have to roll with the punches. I think your parents overreacted though. I remember being accused of theft and destroying school property that I didn't do. I was punished and made fun of.

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EnigmaMissing@reddit

I've never yet lived it down - 20 years since it happened - the sandcastle that I built on the beach during my summer trip in reception year of primary school. It fell apart and I was embarrassed, so in a desperate attempt to prove that I didn't fail, I frantically picked up a shell, jammed it on the top of my decimated castle, and said I made 'a boob' I'd have gotten away with it if my mum wasn't a chaperone on that trip... Still I'm referred to as "the boob-obsessed daughter." Jokes on them, I like girls

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