TheaterFire

What’s the oddest thing you’ve found in a hotel room in the UK?

Posted by Obvious_Reporter_235@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 213 comments

I’m currently staying at a Days Inn just outside London for one night. Wife found the lid from a tub of FISTIT Anal Relaxer under the bed.

Reply to Post

213 Comments

Emotional_Switch_300@reddit

A nice dusiey fanny
View on Reddit #71276105

YaLilStinky@reddit

- Old couple with a room full of bondage gear - Dildo in a guys room, staff logged it and kept it with lost property ( no idea why they didn’t bin just bin it as if he was going to come back ) - Guest had came into the a bible and left it open on the bed - Someone had written a serial killer style note behind a picture on the wall, was probably there ages before it was found by staff On the plus side. A Lego Star Wars set in box. Fire sticks, Xbox one controllers and PS4 controller’s
View on Reddit #25375164

Jacktheforkie@reddit

Was it the hotels bible, and he ejaxulated in it? Also weirdly my autocorrect turned bible to Bobo
View on Reddit #25386580

YaLilStinky@reddit

Yes one of those hotel bibles kept by the bed, they all got removed from the hotel during covid
View on Reddit #25412234

Jacktheforkie@reddit

I see
View on Reddit #25457329

Early_Government198@reddit

A few years ago I was on a business trip to Paris and found brand new ladies underwear still in the package in a wardrobe and by luck they were my then girlfriend’s size. Get home and give them to her and she asks if I’m crazy, spending so much money…it turns out they were an expensive French brand that cost nearly £150! I bullshitted and said I got them in a half-price sale. I’m still friends with her and occasionally she’ll text me telling me she’s wearing them that night.
View on Reddit #25361909

outflankedlala@reddit

Agent provocateur?
View on Reddit #25384592

jurwell@reddit

No, they’re worth A LOT more than £150. At least, I that’s what I remember when I was a young horny student searching for a valentines present for my girlfriend (now wife). She had to put up with either La Senza or Boux Avenue.
View on Reddit #25396509

outflankedlala@reddit

Yeah, they do have quite a wide price range though (a pair of knickers can be from £30 to £800) which is great because it means the brand is not only for the ultra rich. Also, if someone had bought me boux avenue or la senza in my teens I would have been thrilled. That was considered fancy lingerie as far as I was concerned
View on Reddit #25447279

Early_Government198@reddit

No, that’s a brand I’ve heard of.
View on Reddit #25421480

ultrafunkmiester@reddit

I'm feeling like that's half a story, why would an ex text you about wearing undies ? Unfinished business? A kink?
View on Reddit #25364543

Early_Government198@reddit

Just something that became a private joke between us.
View on Reddit #25421453

itsapotatosalad@reddit

That’s a booty call son.
View on Reddit #25380782

WelcomeToTheJungle23@reddit

A bible. Had a quick look through it, but none of it made any sense, like some medieval comic book, but with no pictures. Some of the stuff was downright leftfield, apparently some guy lived in whale. Another guy was killed but came alive, and now they can’t find him. Still, probably a good read if your ripped to the tits on drugs.
View on Reddit #25361084

Livid_Attention9837@reddit

A fantasy book written by a man about men with super powers.
View on Reddit #25445045

watsee@reddit

Sometimes I'll get the bible out the drawer, grab a pen & write on the inside cover "All the best, love God" and do a signature meant to look like the word 'God'.
View on Reddit #25389658

jamboman_@reddit

He dies at the end.
View on Reddit #25375711

Jimoiseau@reddit

If you do > ! Either side ! < without spaces it will hide spoilers
View on Reddit #25383869

HeavyHevonen@reddit

Spoiler
View on Reddit #25377396

ocean-rudeness@reddit

He dies about 3/4 the way through - we die at the end.
View on Reddit #25377182

judd_in_the_barn@reddit

We all do
View on Reddit #25376300

wesleyD777@reddit

It's a tad preachy.
View on Reddit #25363361

Jimoiseau@reddit

A bit holier-than-thou, even.
View on Reddit #25383847

cbren88@reddit

Been 2000 years and still no sequel.
View on Reddit #25380823

CarpeCyprinidae@reddit

There was an unauthorised sequel about 600 years later that mostly takes its lead & themes from the prequel though. But some say it had a different author and was an unauthorised addition to the canon
View on Reddit #25382163

Agitated_Ad_361@reddit

A strip of diazepam down the side of the bed. Wonderful nights sleep.
View on Reddit #25357610

custardtrousers@reddit

Used to work in a hotel - lost property was wide ranging. The oddest was probably an X-ray. Loads of mobile phones got left. We would always try to keep them charged for a couple of days just in case the owner would ring it and then we could tell them where it was. People rarely rang? So weird. Why isn’t that the first thing you do?!?!
View on Reddit #25360151

Annual-Cookie1866@reddit

What do you do with unclaimed phones?
View on Reddit #25382327

custardtrousers@reddit

Kept them in the safe until we ran out of space then got them collected for recycling.
View on Reddit #25387215

deltree000@reddit

Maybe keeping them in a very thick, metal container isn't the best way to receive a phone call or use Find My Phone...? But yeah, when I worked in retail the procedure was the same, stick them in the safe and see if anyone turned up to claim them.
View on Reddit #25416445

Difficult_Sound7720@reddit

I had to point this out to a client of ours, they ran the interchange and would handle all the lost property for them. They had a safe, in the back office, which was under a massive tower block. So it was like a faraday cage in there. I couldn't even get our own wifi to get into that room. (And it wasn't ours so I wasn't allowed to put in an AP) They were amazed how they went from nearly zero phones claimed, to a higher percentage when I told them this simple fact...
View on Reddit #25443236

Pen_dragons_pizza@reddit

Maybe burner phones for drugs or secret affairs. If it’s lost then I assume people just let it go as to not connect themselves with it
View on Reddit #25361793

idunnomattbro@reddit

i went into a room and there was like 4gs of heroin in the wardrobe...had to convince the police it want mine
View on Reddit #25369124

Charming_Rub_5275@reddit

Why not just flush it or whatever
View on Reddit #25383112

idunnomattbro@reddit

dont wanna be in debt with some drug lord
View on Reddit #25391065

Charming_Rub_5275@reddit

Ah yes the drug lord would much rather you gave it to the police 😂
View on Reddit #25391288

idunnomattbro@reddit

well what would you do? dont wanna we in ;contact with people like that
View on Reddit #25434313

getstabbed@reddit

What kind of heroin user would call the police telling them that they found a bunch of heroin? No wonder people often don't call the police in these kind of circumstances..
View on Reddit #25414313

idunnomattbro@reddit

not nice to go to prison mate
View on Reddit #25434221

AtJackBaldwin@reddit

Those kinds of stressful situations are much easier to manage on heroin
View on Reddit #25374914

Recording_Important@reddit

thats why you dont call them.
View on Reddit #25374223

Few-Information7570@reddit

Same thing here! Finally had a wonderful night alone without flying demons.
View on Reddit #25387876

letgolightly83@reddit

That’s some four seasons level of service right there La
View on Reddit #25370770

neilmac1210@reddit

A live seagull in the bin.
View on Reddit #25362357

panic_puppet11@reddit

Knowing seagulls, there is definitely a reasonable possibility the seagull was in the bin of its own volition.
View on Reddit #25376631

Zaphod_79@reddit

How many seaguls do you know? Do you have any influence over them?
View on Reddit #25377647

panic_puppet11@reddit

None personally, but grew up in a city famous for the buggers. They would do anything for anything even vaguely, including but not limited to: bin raking, mugging small children and shoplifting. If the window was open, I could 100% see a seagull coming in and trying to get stuff out of the bin.
View on Reddit #25378148

urmumsabrass@reddit

Who remembers the story of the small dog taken by a seagull from a few years ago? Can’t remember if it was ever disproven?
View on Reddit #25439579

neilmac1210@reddit

That's the thing, the window was closed, it was a very small bin, like a cheap plastic kitchen bin which was empty, apart from the seagull. And there was bird shit all over the room.
View on Reddit #25385304

Jacktheforkie@reddit

We regularly have them getting in my workplace then freaking out when someone fires up their grinder
View on Reddit #25381679

Jacktheforkie@reddit

I live in Dover, they don’t hesitate to raid an open rubbish bin
View on Reddit #25386363

Donnermeat_and_chips@reddit

Was going to say either a well used blob or a bedbug, but it's par for the course in Britain where the hotels are both shit and expensive So I'll go with the world's creepiest portrait of a centuries dead aristocratic child hanging directly over my bed, staring straight into the mirror that was in turn staring at me. I don't believe in ghosts but if I did, that place was fucking haunted and I got no sleep at all.
View on Reddit #25357363

Sltre101@reddit

Do you stay in a lot of Britannia hotels?
View on Reddit #25362530

Donnermeat_and_chips@reddit

I stay in the place thats closest to where I'm working that week, so I've experienced the full suite of hotels on offer in Britain. National chains, smaller chains, B&B, independent hotels, pubs with rooms, farms, stately homes, the works I can count on one hand the ones I would actually pay my own money to stay in on purpose
View on Reddit #25380526

urmumsabrass@reddit

The pub with a room I got stuck with working away down Norwich was an absolute godsend, tried a few hotels and b&b’s during my time down there but I’ve never experienced hospitality like it since, it was that good when we can me and the Mrs pop back down for a day or two. The 4* hotel just out of town was an absolute letdown, aside from the building and the grounds being stunning The Dracula-esque dude who runs the b@b near the river is someone who I’m not likely to forget in a hurry too, I’m sure someone let themselves into my room more than once in my stay there.
View on Reddit #25439381

cragglerock93@reddit

Unless you're absolutely skint and need to travel, I've no idea why people stay there. Can't they read reviews? Every single Britannia hotel is a shithole. At least some Travelodges are okay.
View on Reddit #25366811

wildgoldchai@reddit

Travelodge is practically 5 stars compared to Britannia hotels
View on Reddit #25376419

1wdcgy@reddit

They have a certain charm of a historic building for a very reasonable price. As long as you avoid any pricey dates they can be great value.
View on Reddit #25373449

awardwinningbanana@reddit

What is a blob and how can one tell it's been used well?
View on Reddit #25358948

Bubbly-Thought-2349@reddit

Slang for a prophylactic sheath (a condom). It would have been full if jitler. 
View on Reddit #25360769

Jacktheforkie@reddit

I remember finding one of those tied to the bar above the door of the train I was cleaning, was pretty loaded and all
View on Reddit #25381572

Gobfish123@reddit

I went on a hen do to Blackpool and in your cheap BnB room was some Heroin on the bedside table in one of our friends rooms…
View on Reddit #25423231

Sc0ttiShDUdE@reddit

a crack pipe in the sofa pillow
View on Reddit #25417297

Sea-Hamster7033@reddit

Anal Relaxer is actually compulsary in Days Inn rooms
View on Reddit #25414138

Fun-Ad8446@reddit

Two pigeons, one fast asleep, the other walking around the unit where the little kettle was. Travelodge London City. Right opposite Tower Gateway DLR station. Apparently someone had kept the window open and this was a common occurrence. When I reported it to reception, his response was, "no problem, I'll come up and shoo them out". Eh, no thanks, I'd like a room that two filthy London pigeons haven't been taking a break in.
View on Reddit #25411764

mindyourbis79@reddit

Bag of weed of the cupboard
View on Reddit #25403503

deyzyg@reddit

Somebody else’s wash bag appeared in my room 2 days in to my 3 day stay
View on Reddit #25397035

grousefeatures@reddit

A sandwich bag that was stuffed full of condoms and ham stock cubes. It's been about 10 years and I still lose sleep trying to make the connection.
View on Reddit #25394427

Stuspawton@reddit

Sooo. I used to work for a hotel pub chain and have found some pretty weird things in my time. Buttplugs that were in a family room A fist shaped dildo Anal beads A thong that was so encrusted with cum it was hard (that one was pretty bogging actually) A pretty sizeable bag of cocaine A very large knife A sex machine There was a gimp mask in one of the rooms but way up in an area that no one could actually reach so fuck knows how it got there And finally I found a very naked woman in one of the rooms that wasn’t being rented out to anyone. Who knows how long she’d been sneaking into the hotel and living in there because that room was never in use due to water damage from the roof
View on Reddit #25373855

critterwol@reddit

What is a sex machine?
View on Reddit #25387115

ManInTheDarkSuit@reddit

Calibrated hammer action dildo. ...is the name of my band.
View on Reddit #25390527

Jacktheforkie@reddit

I stayed in a hotel with no roof last year, room stayed mostly dry, it was only 100 quid for two nights
View on Reddit #25386518

harriscot57@reddit

Did you manage to stop the sex machine?
View on Reddit #25383820

roidweiser@reddit

Wait, how naked is "very naked"
View on Reddit #25375883

Stuspawton@reddit

Everything out and on display
View on Reddit #25376479

Apart_Aardvark1828@reddit

An empty cello case. The case was well maintained and looked as though it had been recently used.
View on Reddit #25361569

Jazzlike_Recover_778@reddit

No Nissan executive in there?
View on Reddit #25389881

kingy123@reddit

This reads like an inventory item description in a Japanese horror game.
View on Reddit #25362237

Apart_Aardvark1828@reddit

Now you come to mention it I see your point. I shall endeavour to be more imaginative in future.
View on Reddit #25362756

Personal-Listen-4941@reddit

You know the ‘nice’ biscuits? Not biscuits that are particularly nice, but the boring rectangular ones with the word ‘Nice’ baked into them. 4 of them, painted white, mounted and framed on the wall.
View on Reddit #25358336

watsee@reddit

I've argued loads with my girlfriend over whether those biscuits say Nice or Nice. She thinks they say Nice, whereas I on the other hand think they say Nice.
View on Reddit #25389585

Alarmed_Crazy_6620@reddit

Nice
View on Reddit #25358997

batty_61@reddit

*Steve1989mreinfo has entered the chat*
View on Reddit #25381823

curious_coati@reddit

Nice
View on Reddit #25359298

-cunningstunt@reddit

Nice
View on Reddit #25360359

Ok_Teacher6490@reddit

Nice
View on Reddit #25360615

CraftyWeeBuggar@reddit

Nobody better ruin this, 4 down lol
View on Reddit #25360874

UnlikelyExperience@reddit

Nice
View on Reddit #25362879

john92w@reddit

They said 4
View on Reddit #25381172

UnlikelyExperience@reddit

😡
View on Reddit #25381173

ocean-rudeness@reddit

69.
View on Reddit #25377144

PowerfulFuture1562@reddit

Noice
View on Reddit #25376435

Super_Swordfish_6948@reddit

A dead body. 😒
View on Reddit #25379218

Low_Matter3628@reddit

How decomposed was it
View on Reddit #25389333

Urban_Troglodyte@reddit

Do you want fun or disturbing tales?
View on Reddit #25360159

Low_Matter3628@reddit

Disturbing pls
View on Reddit #25388648

delta-TL@reddit

Yes.
View on Reddit #25361168

KezzaJones@reddit

I used to work in a well known budget hotel chain. A guy was checking out and he was quite grumpy. He then told me his son had just died. Obviously I said how sorry I was to hear that and he went on his way. Later on, the cleaners said that someone had left their room with a sink full of blood, shit on the shits and a Nintendo Switch. It was his room. He never came back for the Switch.
View on Reddit #25361697

ultrafunkmiester@reddit

??? No follow up to this? Was it his blood, did he kill the son?
View on Reddit #25364445

KezzaJones@reddit

I don’t know unfortunately. I left a month after but a body was never found and the police never checked. I never felt anyone was killed or anything though. I think he was just a bit mentally ill. But he definitely didn’t seem like someone who would play with a Nintendo Switch he was like 60 and spoke bad English
View on Reddit #25377202

ElectricalActivity@reddit

>I think he was just a bit mentally ill A bit?
View on Reddit #25387786

AgentCirceLuna@reddit

Look at that, dude. That’s just a bucket of chestnuts.
View on Reddit #25373100

newtonbase@reddit

Killed the son for shitting on him in his sleep.
View on Reddit #25368615

CuteWafer@reddit

Once I'd put my overnight bag in the cupboard, and went to the loo. Came out to find an old fella resting on my bed trying to turn the TV on. He was highly offended I'd just taken a dump in his room (he thought I was hotel staff) & started shouting about how this country has gone downhill and he's going to talk to my manager and get me sacked. Rather than argue with him I just went straight downstairs, in my socks, and explained to the baffled receptionists. They escorted me back up to collect my belongings and took me to a different room. Didn't even get an upgrade!
View on Reddit #25362170

AcceptableRedPanda@reddit

Love how simular our hotel routine is. Ditch bag in cupboard, pants aff and off for a shit 😂
View on Reddit #25375909

CuteWafer@reddit

Got to make yourself feel at home straight away
View on Reddit #25387535

LionOfVienna91@reddit

Once found a pair of expensive designer sunglasses under the bed (c. £800 after a quick Google) with CU tippexed on one lens and NT on the other.
View on Reddit #25387376

plotloss@reddit

Not a hotel but a holiday cottage. Opened the freezer to find a replica Stonehenge made from fishfingers
View on Reddit #25387170

woz_181@reddit

This sort of relates, it sounds fabricated, but it's not... When I left school, I started working as a road worker and was working away in Essex. We were there about 3 months and stayed in a B&B/pub, usually not getting back from work until around 6pm. One day, when I returned, I went to my room and found the owner's daughter naked in my bath. She was absolutely gorgeous, and just casually said 'hi.' I was young and unsure of what to do, so apologised, and walked to the shop to give her some privacy, and let her finish. For months afterwards, I regretted not trying something 😪
View on Reddit #25386998

ballum2017@reddit

3 bin bags of dildos, butt plugs, various mens rhythm magazines, sex oil, handcuffs, specialist underwear. That’s just what I can remember. To add context my Dad traded furniture in the 90s and got paid to clear the 3rd floor of the Holiday Inn at Heathrow before a refurb. We pulled the rooms apart to take out 90 double beds/90 wardrobes/180 bedsides etc… found all the hidden stuff the cleaners would miss. It was a week’s work for me and three mates. We went to throw the bin bags at the end of the job. My dad stopped us and said load them on the van. He then sold them for £50 on the Sunday at Slough Market for as mystery sex bags to the market perv.
View on Reddit #25378800

Jacktheforkie@reddit

Wow
View on Reddit #25386620

Sustainable_Twat@reddit

My wife after I checked in with my girlfriend.
View on Reddit #25358552

2022_kitchen_sofa@reddit

Was her boyfriend equally as shocked to see you?
View on Reddit #25368652

Sustainable_Twat@reddit

Well, me and my parents were more surprised to see my brother there as her boyfriend.
View on Reddit #25384594

2022_kitchen_sofa@reddit

Any cousins also in the mix?
View on Reddit #25386149

Sustainable_Twat@reddit

Yeah …….. My wife.
View on Reddit #25386420

lucylastic89@reddit

porn mag on top of the wardrobe
View on Reddit #25384718

Nicodom@reddit

I'm a housekeeper I've seen most things left in rooms, the worst part? Trying to contact the guest and explain without saying that we have their "items" and if they want us to mail them. I've also seen things left in the open by staying guests too, we do go in your room to clean after all, so if you leave it on the side, in the sink, on the bed, we will see it. 
View on Reddit #25359459

StinkypieTicklebum@reddit

I was a breakfast waitress at a motel with a fancy restaurant across the street. (Late 1970s) Their policy was to keep the items logged and stored. NO contacting the room renter, in case the lost item belonged to a guest who was not his wife. I was on the breakfast side, so I’m not really sure how check ins worked then. Nowadays, they want everyone’s name who’s staying, and maybe IDs as well. Back then there were no computers, the phone system was an honest to god switchboard, so maybe they didn’t get everyone’s name. Anyway, fun to compare the olden days to modern times!
View on Reddit #25371272

Nicodom@reddit

We have had issues where someone's name was the same as someone else and it caused some trouble. One was married the other about to propose. 
View on Reddit #25384422

ot1smile@reddit

“Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article a dildo, never your dildo.”
View on Reddit #25371164

Zaphod_79@reddit

But I don't own a dildo!
View on Reddit #25377515

sned777@reddit

I was in a hotel in Scotland a few weeks ago and when looking through the draws my friend found a “torch” which then while trying to turn it on revealed itself to be a fleshlight.
View on Reddit #25384337

ARK_Redeemer@reddit

A bible, but someone had hollowed it out for what looked like some sort of hip flask maybe? The flask was gone. Maybe they'd replaced the original one left there?
View on Reddit #25384274

Even_Description9283@reddit

Am overweight, hairy bloke lying on the bed in his boxers, watching tv. Reception clearly screwed up and gave me a room key to an already occupied room. The poor bloke was as shocked as me when I kicked the door open and we looked at each other in silence for a few seconds, before he shouted ‘wrong room’. It still sits with me to this day and I take a second when I check into a room to make sure no-one else has already checked into it.
View on Reddit #25384139

harriscot57@reddit

A Roy Orbison cassette inside a ribbed condom.
View on Reddit #25383642

TofuBoy22@reddit

One of those trouser presses that looked like was from the 80s
View on Reddit #25383400

ImActivelyTired@reddit

A naked person, more specifically a naked man and what i assume was his wife. I check in, go to the room, unlock the door and flick the lights on .. mr and mrs buttnaked spring out of bed and run at me shouting "what are you doing?!" I felt like it was slow motion...dong and tiddies flying through the air coming at me while im scrambling back out the door shouting "i have a key!" Mr buttnaked was that pissed off he stomped off to the reception, while im trailing behind him with my case and the key... Trying hard not to laugh but watching an angry naked man march down the corridor with nothing but socks and a frown...was too much.
View on Reddit #25383144

octobod@reddit

The room safe wasn't screwed into anything.... They are not exactly secure but that is taking the micky
View on Reddit #25383143

Crafty_Ambassador443@reddit

Dusty thongs in a bible :( :( there was a dead bug beside it too. I wish I was lying.
View on Reddit #25362323

AgeingMuso65@reddit

That’s a great porn star name… was she the one wearing the thongs before they got dusty, I wonder?
View on Reddit #25363449

coldnorth3enf3@reddit

It sounds like an album name from an overly insensitive rock band
View on Reddit #25365111

batty_61@reddit

I thought it sounded like a Bloodhound Gang track
View on Reddit #25382045

Kiwifiend@reddit

A fridge freezer in the corner of the hotel room - empty apart from a single fish pie.
View on Reddit #25381946

scouserman3521@reddit

A drunk fella, passed out in the wardrobe. Yes...
View on Reddit #25361305

Jacktheforkie@reddit

Found one of them once too, but in the disabled bog on a 375, supervisor had to escort him through an active railway depot
View on Reddit #25381620

papayametallica@reddit

Artificial leg left leaning against the wall in the wardrobe Confused the bejeezus out of the reception staff as well as the last people to use the room were able bodied
View on Reddit #25358411

caniuserealname@reddit

I used to work in a hotel, you'd be surprised how many mobility aids people come in with but don't leave with. Walking sticks, walking frames, wheelchairs. Never come across a leg myself, but honestly i could totally see it happening. I don't understand it.. but i can see it happening.
View on Reddit #25367229

newtonbase@reddit

I worked in a betting shop and had people come in using sticks or even crutches but then leave without them.
View on Reddit #25368519

itsapotatosalad@reddit

Betting shop in the daytime is likely full of people using walking sticks they don’t really actually need, if you know what I mean.
View on Reddit #25380678

kingmickyb@reddit

Those are refered to as "dole poles"
View on Reddit #25381308

Nap-Time-Queen@reddit

It’s easier than you think! My husband had a seperate walking and running prosthetic leg. We managed to leave the running leg in the back of an Uber (typical we both thought the other one was carrying it), got a very frazzled call from the poor driver 20 minutes later!
View on Reddit #25377374

glytxh@reddit

Fuck yeah. Free leg. Those things aren’t remotely cheap
View on Reddit #25370225

CuriousPalpitation23@reddit

Dan Harmon woz 'ere.
View on Reddit #25362699

theplanebandit@reddit

A dead child and a dildo. Not the same incident but linked
View on Reddit #25377891

mangobearsmoothie@reddit

Well that's.... dark.
View on Reddit #25381288

Adam-West@reddit

A Bible. Some mad shit in there.
View on Reddit #25380935

TechnologyHoliday150@reddit

The Book of Mormon
View on Reddit #25380476

dobbynobson@reddit

Once had a disastrous weekend in Suffolk thinking we'd find accommodation on the fly and have a cool couple of days driving round wherever we fancied. Be all spontaneous, like. Well even 20 years ago that was a stupid idea, turns out. The first night we ended up in Felixstowe at a b&b. They turned down my partner when he knocked first. He did look a little shady with charity shop clothes and a scraggy moustache. I knocked later and miraculously they had a room. It was fine. The second night, we drove to a recommended b&b in a small village, and there was a sign on the door saying it was their annual linen count day and no rooms available. We ended up at a shabby pub called the Globe, which had a couple of rooms (not en suite). On entering the room we found a circling cloud of flies above the bed, a waste paper basket full of water, and a single sock in the middle of a rug.
View on Reddit #25380392

Artistic_Data9398@reddit

We found a pair of shit stained boxers behind the wall TV. I brought my laptop so went behind for HDMI and found these crusty boxers. We just put them in the bin and noted and come to the conclusion a lad shit himself and hid them from his partner that night. It was a suite specifically for couples.
View on Reddit #25361030

Zombi1146@reddit

The state of the mattress 🤢
View on Reddit #25380011

Artistic_Data9398@reddit

It was a really clean and fancy place tbh. It was £180 for the night so we absolutely didn’t expect that lol.
View on Reddit #25380230

UnlikelyExperience@reddit

A book of mormon in luton airport hotel with FUCK written down the side and a lot of 'cunt' and dick drawings inside
View on Reddit #25362975

wesleyD777@reddit

Joseph Smith had a turn of phrase I'll give him that.
View on Reddit #25363480

TheImplication696969@reddit

Dum dum dum dum dum dum
View on Reddit #25367221

ABritishCynic@reddit

Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
View on Reddit #25380136

HeavyGooses@reddit

Rubbish taped to the ceiling.
View on Reddit #25379596

stacyskg@reddit

A cock ring, left hanging around the curtain pole.
View on Reddit #25379429

Shadow-sight@reddit

Mormon bible (along side a Christian one) in a chain hotel in London, made for some interesting reading 🤷‍♀️
View on Reddit #25378713

Kindly-Effort5621@reddit

I naan bread jammed down between the wall and radiator.
View on Reddit #25378353

TheDawiWhisperer@reddit

A kettle. I wouldn't use a hotel kettle in a million years and it genuinely amazes me that people do.
View on Reddit #25356915

Alarmed_Crazy_6620@reddit

A nation of risk non-takers. What are you afraid of that can't be killed with some boiling water?
View on Reddit #25357263

TheDawiWhisperer@reddit

Boiled water or not dirty cunt has probably had a shit in it at some point
View on Reddit #25357662

Alarmed_Crazy_6620@reddit

Have you ever been to a public toilet? Sniffed the air there? Where you you think has a higher concentration of third-party shit particles that you will ingest?
View on Reddit #25357752

Dissidant@reddit

Its handbags isn't it?
View on Reddit #25358466

Alarmed_Crazy_6620@reddit

Don't shit in your handbag
View on Reddit #25358633

_captainunderpants__@reddit

Always be sure it's someone else's handbag you are shitting into.
View on Reddit #25377995

yiminx@reddit

tbf although i still use the kettle i have heard tales of people boiling their underwear in them
View on Reddit #25360954

bonjajr@reddit

Why would people do that?
View on Reddit #25365332

yiminx@reddit

i guess to clean them? honestly it baffles me as well.
View on Reddit #25365363

Regina_Falangy@reddit

The shite thats in it.
View on Reddit #25357590

Banditofbingofame@reddit

Why?
View on Reddit #25357567

Rich_27-@reddit

People piss in the kettle
View on Reddit #25377638

Banditofbingofame@reddit

In the rarest of rarest cases of that actually happening, do you not swill it out beforehand and then you know boil it?
View on Reddit #25377845

Nap-Time-Queen@reddit

We might have been those weird guests. We recently stayed in a hotel a few days after my husband was bit on the hand by a dog, we used a latex glove to cover the dressings whilst he showered and he’s on antibiotics for it. Wonder what the housekeeper thought when they saw an empty packet of antibiotics, a single latex glove, and an empty surgical disinfectant bottle.
View on Reddit #25377224

Last-Deal-4251@reddit

Travelodge at London city airport about 20 years ago and there were 3 dice next to the sink.
View on Reddit #25357250

Banditofbingofame@reddit

This sounds like the start to a movie set over a single night involving Keanu Reeves and a chase across the city
View on Reddit #25357609

Lifehighjimmy@reddit

Should read the dice man, it’s a novel about a psychiatrist that starts making all decisions in his life via rolling of a dice, eventually gains a following and creates a sort of cult around it.
View on Reddit #25377011

Then_Drag_8258@reddit

You don’t know how to use the 3 dice?
View on Reddit #25362999

JHutch95@reddit

Was probably [this guy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO2k-BNySLI)
View on Reddit #25358973

Personal-Listen-4941@reddit

Did the last occupants get Jumanji’d?
View on Reddit #25358363

eloloise29@reddit

A bloke and his Mrs, she was in black lingerie and he’d clearly just thrown on his trousers after I knocked on the door. I worked reception and one of our guests complained that a couple was in his room. Asked him his name and he said Pete Smith*, checked on the system and there was also a Peter Smith booked in for the night. My dumb colleague had said “ooh you’re already checked in!” when Pete turned up and cut him a key for Peter’s room. Figuring out and then explaining the mix up was so so awkward. I didn’t work there for much longer.
View on Reddit #25376598

JamesWoolfenden@reddit

A stack of porno mags
View on Reddit #25376310

spaceshipcommander@reddit

I used to stop away most nights with work. On 2 occasions I've found other people in my room. They were just as canfused as I was.
View on Reddit #25376080

BadidilyBoing92@reddit

Was in a random BnB in Dawlish once, the room smelt like there was a turd hidden somewhere and it had really old and creepy decor. There was this doll sitting on the mantelpiece and there were two really old clocks, both were stopped at the same time. Obviously someone having a laugh but I made damn sure I wasn't in the room at 7.45.
View on Reddit #25375341

pennikin@reddit

Lenny bloody Henry
View on Reddit #25374608

TheButtonz@reddit

Me and some mates used to all travel back to a friends home towel, spend a weekend going out then come back. We’d stay in the same cheap B&B that could sleep 6 in a room. On the way down we bought a few copies of the Sunday sport , a copy of Juggs etc ‘epic bants’ etc etc and before we left we said “let’s hide them in the room and see if they’re still here when we come back later in the year”. We looked about and I saw a chest of drawers so I removed the bottom drawer planning to put the magazines there, only to discover there was already porn there. We just added ours to the collection.
View on Reddit #25373443

motherofcats4@reddit

Must’ve been a big towel!
View on Reddit #25373830

KrungThepMahaNK@reddit

Did you hide it under the bed while she was taking a shower?
View on Reddit #25371836

RuneClash007@reddit

Backstory first: I always check the beds and sheets and under the mattress for bedbugs. I do NOT want to take those home. Anyway, me and my girlfriend were doing our checks before putting our stuff down, and as I lifted the mattress, right in the middle were a pair of reading glasses straight from the 1950s. Huge thick things just there, no idea how they got there - who would put them under the mattress?? We just left them on the table next to the kettle, and the next day the hotel called me and told me we left our glasses behind, I just told them to keep them and they're not needed now
View on Reddit #25364028

snoquone@reddit

I was in India for work and spent 1 night in an airport hotel before flying back to the UK. I return home and 2 days later I get an email from hotel staff saying that I had left my hammer on the desk. I most assuredly didn't bring my own hammer
View on Reddit #25370755

TheImplication696969@reddit

For me a used condom on the bedside table, was a shitty B&B in Blackpool, the landlady didn’t believe I found it and thought I’d put it there lol, she said she’d cleaned the room before I got there but she obviously didn’t do a great job, I didn’t even ask for a discount or anything just told her it was there, later that night she gave me and the woman I was meeting there a few free cans of Heineken though lol.
View on Reddit #25367059

yesmilady@reddit

Ball gag in the bedside drawer.
View on Reddit #25365757

jamieliddellthepoet@reddit

Love.
View on Reddit #25365243

SupernaturalPlonk@reddit

Opened the door to our hotel room on the first day of our honeymoon and found the previous occupants still in bed.
View on Reddit #25361194

HalfBlindAndCurious@reddit

So how did that conversation go?
View on Reddit #25363294

coldnorth3enf3@reddit

“Room for two more?”
View on Reddit #25365067

xxtokyovanityxx@reddit

A bible that was back to front.
View on Reddit #25364991

Connect_Boss6316@reddit

I found my self-confidence in a hotel room years ago when I had sex with my really hot gf for the first time.
View on Reddit #25363856

ultrafunkmiester@reddit

Nice, indeed, hotel rooms are often the giver of confidence, experience, intimacy, awakenings and the takers of doubt, viginity (of all types) and inhibitions.
View on Reddit #25364680

Maxeque@reddit

Slightly tucked under the bed, not even hidden, an entire bag of old, half-eaten Nando's chicken. Very worrying as to how carefully they actually clean the rooms 😂
View on Reddit #25364462

Suzytastic@reddit

A crack in the wall that was big enough to let light in from the next room.
View on Reddit #25364189

daveg71@reddit

I once stayed in a hotel room that had a door connection to the next room. Each could be locked independently. Opened from my side to find a small collection of porn and two empty whisky bottles in the space between the rooms / doors.
View on Reddit #25361598

Rude-Possibility4682@reddit

I always used to find a porn magazine on top of a wardrobe.
View on Reddit #25361487

TytoCwtch@reddit

Empty 1l bottle of Smirnoff and two empty packets of stuffed olives stuffed under the bed.
View on Reddit #25361399

OrdoRidiculous@reddit

I found a toaster with a pokemon card glued to the front and dead frog inside it, in a "hotel room" that can only be described as the Tesco value version of Harry Potter's under stairs cupboard.
View on Reddit #25360002

AngloBrazilian@reddit

A pair of men’s y fronts under a table at the Roundhouse Hotel in Bournemouth
View on Reddit #25359887

Ok-Relation-7172@reddit

Underwear (ladies) behind the chair.
View on Reddit #25359129

mikepartdeux@reddit

A tablet. I was staying in a hotel that had a tablet to control lights, tv, blinds, etc. I dropped my phone down the side of the bed and found another of the tablets. I assume someone had been charged for stealing it
View on Reddit #25358737

Soapsuddyeah@reddit

yer ma
View on Reddit #25358731

mwhi1017@reddit

2 three and a half inch floppy disks in a drawer, looked ancient, no markings on them, under a bible. Just left them alone. Best Western near Dartford.
View on Reddit #25357998

Alarmed_Crazy_6620@reddit

Impressive she came up with that legend so quickly
View on Reddit #25356516

AutoModerator@reddit

**Please help keep AskUK welcoming!** - Top-level comments to the OP must contain **genuine efforts to answer the question**. No jokes, judgements, etc. - **Don't be a dick** to each other. If getting heated, just block and move on. - This is a strictly **no-politics** subreddit! Please help us by reporting comments that break these rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
View on Reddit #25356424