When dining out as a group are you a ‘pay for what you ordered’ person, or a ‘split the bill’ person?

Posted by Jammin4B@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 584 comments

I’m a ‘happy to split the bill, but not if you’re blatantly taking the piss’ person and I say that because of a work meal out many years ago when one person ordered way more than everyone else, (think the most expensive menu items/lots of alcoholic drinks/cocktails etc) then when it was time to pay loudly advocated to split the bill, but, it gets even worse! So, as everyone else had already chucked their (cash) contributions into the middle of the table they counted up what had already been collected, looked at the bill and upon realising there was enough there to cover the entire bill (because - and this is the important part! - of everyone else’s overpayment/generous tip contributions) decided not to pay ANYTHING! I pointed out that the extra money was the ‘tip’ and that they still needed to pay too, but they twisted it as though I was the one causing an unnecessary issue, and I’m ashamed to say (again it was a very long time ago/I was a more ‘junior’ colleague) that as they were more ‘senior’ in role than me, I backed down. I am however, much older/wiser/more confident now, so that would 100% NEVER get by me again, but just curious to see what other people think is the ‘correct’ etiquette when it comes to payment in a group meal setting?

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584 Comments

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Thestrugglewillpay@reddit

The tax + tip part is where it always gets messy… people forget and it adds up fast

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CliffyGiro@reddit

Pay for what I ordered. I had a plate of pasta at a cost of £9.00 and I drank tap water. I’ll be damned if I’m paying a share of your steak en frites and several glasses of wine.

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Remarkable-Ad155@reddit

You sound like a joy to dine with.

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asribelle@reddit

lolololololo

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WonFriendsWithSalad@reddit

Or perhaps just on a budget but would still like to be able to meet up with their wealthier friends?

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Remarkable-Ad155@reddit

So meet for a pint or a coffee then, or agree somewhere mutually budget friendly.

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heroes-never-die99@reddit

But most places can be budget friendly depending on what you order. There is something called a menu where you can choose what to eat based on what you can afford. Revolutionary, I know.

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Remarkable-Ad155@reddit

Most menus are within a range though, aren't they? It's very rare you will go somewhere where one person is ordering a £60 bit of Wagyu beef plus another 15 or 20 on sides and 50 notes on a bottle of Chateauneuf du Pape to wash it down with whilst you're nibbling on a £9 plate of pasta and sipping tap water.

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minimalisticgem@reddit

The difference between a £10 bill to pay vs a £25 is even taking the piss. Pay for what you get.

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Remarkable-Ad155@reddit

I'd agree, if the split is more than double what you ordered that might be taking the piss but let's be honest though, is it reasonable, as in the parent comment example, to expect to go out and eat in a restaurant for £9? That's barely above McDonald's prices and certainly less than what you will pay for fish and chips or a kebab in most of the country. I notice parent comment also doesn't even mention a tip (whenever i eat out with friends or family, the split typically gets rounded up for a tip too, plus a few people will normally leave a bit of cash on the table). Do you realistically think a restaurant or pub are going to keep the lights on, pay the heating, pay staff and, heaven forbid, make a little return for the owners and something extra for the likely underpaid and overworked wait staff to take home on your £9 plate of pasta and a glass of tap water? There's an argument that £9 guy is actually freeloading off the £25 person, given drinks and add ons are actually how the business keeps going. Petsonal view is if your budget is £10, stick to wetherspoons or McDonald's. If you actually want to eat in a restaurant, recognise you are paying for more than just the food they bring you.

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defynotbanned97@reddit

I mean if one person is paying £9 and the other £25 then the restaurant is still getting £34 whether it's split evenly or not. How is any freeloading taking place?

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TheDocJ@reddit

It is taking place inside RemarkableAd's brain, as part of their increasingly desperate (an laughable) attempts to defend a dumb comment and shore up a poor argument. But it all provides the rest of us with some harmless entertainment.

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defynotbanned97@reddit

"if you don't subsidize my more expensive meal for me you are a freeloader!"

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RubeGoldbergCode@reddit

If a restaurant can't keep the lights on pricing their food like that then they should price accordingly. No way are you placing the blame for the entire fucking economy on someone choosing to have a cheaper meal and not buy drinks. Drinks at restaurants are massively overpriced, many people don't get them. The profit margins on a plate of pasta are actually pretty huge. Take your nonsensical attempt at gatekeeping elsewhere, your take is rubbish.

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Nartyn@reddit

>many people don't get them Such a reddit moment.

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RubeGoldbergCode@reddit

I have no idea what this means. Most of the people I know get whatever the free drink option is (water, refillable green tea, etc) and very occasionally go for a juice or lemonade. When I look at other people's tables, I usually see tap water for the adults and fruit shoots or something like that for the kids. Just basing this off people I observe in public spaces, it seems like an awful lot of people don't get the extremely overpriced drinks at restaurants. Not sure how that's a "Reddit moment"?

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Nartyn@reddit

I've literally never seen a single person only drink water or a soft drink at a restaurant unless they're driving and I eat out all the time.

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RubeGoldbergCode@reddit

Interesting. It might also be you who are in a massive bubble where everyone just so happens to get drinks with their food? Like, I'm not saying it never happens, but especially in the current financial climate I really don't see people ordering drinks at all. Maybe a coffee sometimes. Maybe it varies by area or financial bracket. If you're the kind of person who eats out all the time we're probably not on similar salaries.

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Nartyn@reddit

I mean if we're tight for cash and want a cheap meal we will go to a pub which does like a burger and a beer for £9 or something. I wouldn't ever go out and be like I'll save money by not ordering a beer here. It's usually like a £1-1.50 more than the pub at most. If that's too much of a difference then I feel like a meal out is not really good to get anyway

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cokwombled@reddit

You're completely changing the discussion now. Also, get a life.

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Remarkable-Ad155@reddit

Convincing argument there, well played sir.

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minimalisticgem@reddit

Dude I’m a student, £9 is the difference between if I can get my weekly shop or not 💀

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YouAreAwesome240418@reddit

I've been out plenty of times where I've just had a cheap main and a soft drink but friends have ordered more than one course, sides, more expensive mains and more than one alcoholic drink. It's not necessarily the main course, it's all the extras.

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heroes-never-die99@reddit

The range of food prices within one menu doesn’t matter. The volume of food you order can matter. Or the inclusive of wine can matter. I really don’t think you understand the concept of menus at all. This is basic, man.

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WonFriendsWithSalad@reddit

And if it's something like a birthday celebration?

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Remarkable-Ad155@reddit

Accept that you'll probably end up spending a bit more than you intended but it's OK because it's not about you and your budget, it's actually about celebrating your friend? Unless somebody's washing their meal down with single malts and then pairing desert with the owners special reserve Hungarian dessert wine *and* then expecting everyone to split, is the difference likely to be more than a few quid? If that will really break the bank, you have bigger problems and probably shouldn't be out in the first place.

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will6465@reddit

Yes, honestly, a glass or two of a good wine can very well cost not far off £50. Splitting that for someone who only spent £20 on food is stupid.

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Remarkable-Ad155@reddit

Why are you going somewhere that charges £25 for a *glass* of wine and expecting to get away with only spending £20 on a main course? Those two figures you've just quoted are wildly out of sync.

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TheDocJ@reddit

Are you really that unaware that restaurants can and do charge quite a range of prices for different things (which is of course a large part of the point of this entire post)? And one of the widest price ranges is quite often in the wine list. Maybe your experience is more limited, but I've certainly eaten in restaurants where a £9 salad and a £25 glass of wine might be unusual, but is perfectly possible.

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Remarkable-Ad155@reddit

The comment I responded to said "one or two glasses of decent wine can *easily* set you back not far off 50 pounds" (emphasis mine). I contend that the highest end of the wine list at most restaurants within the price range of someone ordering a £9 salad will be in the £20 - £25 with most coming in at half or less than that. You would have to go out of your way to order the most expensive thing on the menu in most cases to order that and yes, I absolutely would expect somebody to pay extra for that (and would offer to if it were me). Not comparable with somebody having a couple of glasses of wine with a meal (or a couple of beers for that matter) which is not an unreasonable expectation if eating out with others.

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TheDocJ@reddit

If you are going to emphasise something in a quote, at least emphasise words that the person you are quoting actually used!

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gilesey11@reddit

Have you ever been to a restaurant? Because it doesn’t sound like you have. To be fair, if a restaurant offers a pasta dish for £9 then it’s perfectly reasonable for them to serve you just that, and for you to pay the bill with a £10 note.

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WonFriendsWithSalad@reddit

If I had a friend in that position I'd want them to have a nice evening with me, not be worrying about whether what I choose to eat will mean they'll have to eat less for the rest of the week

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Remarkable-Ad155@reddit

Respectfully though, if you're in the situation where having to pay a share of the drinks bill and people having a moderately more expensive main than you is the difference between eating and starving for the rest of the week, then for God's sake why are you going to a restaurant in the first place? Just be honest and say you're skint and you'll join everyone for a drink afterwards or, if you're on the other side of that equation, slip them £20 to cover the extra bit of the bill so they don't have to have that awkwardness.

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2xtc@reddit

Well done on being fairly loaded and out of touch, I'd argue the majority of people would say least consider their finances before going out for a big meal and cutting their cloth accordingly. I'm sorry you're too wealthy to understand how most people live

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WonFriendsWithSalad@reddit

I absolutely cover for friends sometimes but if it's a longstanding income inbalance then often they want to pay their own way, they just will choose cheaper items. And I didn't say starving for the rest of the week. Maybe it just means they won't be able to buy any non essentials for the rest of the week. I don't get overly fussed about how my friends choose to budget.

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TheHetsRightHand@reddit

Or just let them order within their budget so they can dine with dignity.

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CliffyGiro@reddit

In truth, I’m quite possibly the “wealthiest” one. Almost all my friends and family are more comfortable paying for what they eat and drink. We all have our own financial priorities, I like to spend my money on holidays and my house. My cousin likes to spend their money on cocaine, wine and steak and that’s their choice.

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Incitatus_For_Office@reddit

What restaurant are you going to that has cocaine included? Asking for a friend...

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WonFriendsWithSalad@reddit

Well from what I've heard if you make friends with the cooks you'd probably be able to buy some directly from the chef

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Direct_Jump3960@reddit

Yeah, pretty much every kitchen I've ever been in has been a maelstrom of swearing, smoking and snorting. You age about 6 months per shift. It's amazing. I'm so glad I'm out.

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randomer456@reddit

Username checks out

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WonFriendsWithSalad@reddit

OK that made me laugh

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caniuserealname@reddit

The implication being that you can't be a joy to be around unless you're either equally wealthy, or willing to make yourself struggle just so your friends are a little less unconvinced. Sounds like you might just horrible to be friends with. I'm the the same as the other guy, but for the opposite reason. When I dine out I plan to make the most of it, I'll pay my own way because I'll be dammed if I'm going to make my friends feel like they are there to subsidise my gluttony.

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Remarkable-Ad155@reddit

>When I dine out I plan to make the most of it, I'll pay my own way because I'll be dammed if I'm going to make my friends feel like they are there to subsidise my gluttony. That's fine though. That's the polite thing to do if you recognise what you're ordering is put of line with everybody else. If I see something I really want that's a bit more expensive I'll do the same. If you're acting like the act of losing out on a couple of quid to spend time with your friends is out of order, you're just making everyone else uncomfortable and tbh it's quite rude.

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infieldcookie@reddit

But sometimes I’ve been out with friends who have all bought at least one cocktail (usually more than one) and I’ve had a soft drink or even just water. Sometimes people will get starters and dessert but I just want a main. Why should I pay for drinks and extra courses that I haven’t had?

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caniuserealname@reddit

So it's okay to pay separately if you want to order more.. except for when enough of you are doing it that it alienates one of your friends? Again, all offence intended, you sound like an awful person to be friends with. Splitting a bill shouldn't be the norm, it should be an agreed action of all parties when it's confirmed everyone has the same intentions and the same budget. It's "uncomfortable" to accommodate friends circumstances, if you think it is then you need to reevaluate what you think friends are.

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Remarkable-Ad155@reddit

Most people with a third of a braincell understand that when you're eating out together, unless you're getting the bill yourself, you don't order the most expensive thing on the menu and you don't outdrink everybody else 5 to 1. That's not rocket science. If you're in a position where this doesn't work out for you regularly, I'd suggest it's you that needs to reassess your life choices.

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caniuserealname@reddit

Lol. What sad outings you must have... No, that's what you do when you go out with people you're obligated to go out with but don't really like. If you're going out with friends you have fun. You get what you want and they get what they want. If you want to order the most expensive thing on the menu you do that, if you a light meal you do that too. You don't go out with friends in the assumption that you must conform yourself to an arbitrary standard just so everyone can feel slightly like "uncomfortable" splitting a bill. Honestly the way you're speaking about it makes it seem more like you're going out with the objective of splitting the bill as the primary focus of the event, rather than it just being the means of compensating the restaurant for your business. > If you're in a position where this doesn't work out for you regularly, I'd suggest it's you that needs to reassess your life choices. Why would I be in that position? Did I not make it clear that I'm not splitting bills? Lol. I get where you're coming from, you're trying to flip my previous words on my head, but you're going to have to try to a bit more thought into that if you want it to make sense.

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Remarkable-Ad155@reddit

Funny thing is, you're actually describing what myself, OP and a couple of other people have said, namely that the appropriate thing to do is offer to top up the kitty if your element of the split works out more expensive. That's not really what the debate is about, we're talking about whether it's appropriate to insist on paying for exactly what you ordered. I'd agree with your approach and will do the same myself on occasions but tend to find most of the time when you eat with a group that you eat with often there's a kind of unspoken etiquette. You might see that as "sad", I see it as a way of navigating a possible thorny issue without any awkwardness.

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caniuserealname@reddit

> Funny thing is, you're actually describing what myself, OP and a couple of other people have said, namely that the appropriate thing to do is offer to top up the kitty if your element of the split works out more expensive. Funny thing is, I'm very explicitly not. I am, very explicitly, I repeat for clarification, arguing in favour of each person paying their own, exact, bill. I am not describing anything other than that. "Unspoken etiquette" isn't how you navigate potentially thorny issues, and what you've described isn't navigating it at all. It's just stabbing the poorest member of your group with the collective thorns of the issue and calling it a day.

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jlo1989@reddit

You sound like the person who gets 3 cocktails, a starter, the sharing platter and the most expensive dessert then insists that everyone splits the bill evenly because its too complicated to work out what everyone had.

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CPH3000@reddit

You sound like somebody who wants other people to subsidise what you've ordered.

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Emilempenza@reddit

Exactly. I can afford to split, I can afford a 5 course meal and expensive wine. But I don't want a 5 course meal and expensive wine, I'll be full on just a main and I'm driving. Go ahead and order your 5 courses, drink your wine, but don't expect me to pay for it, because why on earth would I?

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Remarkable-Ad155@reddit

But why would you go to an event where people are going to have a 5 course meal and drink lots of wine if you really don't want to do that? Half of these examples are fucking nonsense, tbh. The scenario where this mostly comes up is people splitting hairs over a few quid either side.

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Emilempenza@reddit

Literally any meal at a restaurant can involve someone deciding to have at least 4 courses and lots of wine, not sure what you're on about thinkhng thats an "event"? Or should people not go out to resteraunts with friends unless they intend to either eat like the last days of Rome, or pay for someone else to do that? Or, I'll eat what I want, drink what I want, then pay for it. While others do the same. Not complicated tbh. Literally no idea why anyone would get annoyed at others not subsidising their meals

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Remarkable-Ad155@reddit

OK, let's imagine your brother Mbo rings you up and says, "Emile, it's my birthday and some of the lads from the 2007 title winning Anderlecht side wanted to get together for a meal, wondered if you wanted to tag along? It's at this fancy joint, 5 course tasting menu, wine, the works. You in?" At that point you have a reasonable expectation that you're going to be spending a few quid. Your choices are; - turn up, lean into it, enjoy and don't worry about the bill - say, "sorry Mbo, not my scene, I'll meet you for drinks after" - make an excuse: "sorry bro, I'm actually playing crazy golf with Joe Hart, Didi Haman and Stephen Ireland that day, let's do drinks at my place the weekend after" - turn up and passive aggressively order only 1 course, no wine and say you're driving home. Do you see what I'm getting at?

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Emilempenza@reddit

Well you've specifically invited he to a 5 course meal, so of course I'm expecting to pay for a 5 course meal. If I don't want to pay for an expensive 5 course meal, I simply decide not to go. Meanwhile in the real world, we agree to go out for a meal at a normal restaurant. Most of us order a normal meal, some order wine, some beer, some soft drinks. Some couples order starters, some desserts, some coffee. No sane person expects the people who ate a starter, main, dessert, coffee and a bottle of wine to pay the same as those who didn't. (Except possibly dickheads who order a lot hoping to peer pressure their friends into splitting the bill)

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vacri@reddit

"Hey, if I cook the example, then what you're saying doesn't make sense!"

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Remarkable-Ad155@reddit

Hey, it was former Man City sharpshooter Emile Mpenza who used the 5 course meal and loads of wine vs tapwater and a single course example, but there you go.

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CliffyGiro@reddit

My friends and family love me and I love them. They love spending time with me and I love spending time with them. Simple.

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Baby8227@reddit

You sound like you are the one guttsing out on everyone else’s money. “Nom nom nom, waygu steak & chateaupneuf-du-pape for me and scampi & a water for you; oooh yeah let’s split the bill 👌🏻”

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Emilempenza@reddit

Because you have to pay for your own food? Life's tough sometimes

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Facelessroids@reddit

Glad I’m not your friend you miserable ass

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TheDocJ@reddit

I'm sure that the feeling is mutual.

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MaverickFegan@reddit

Good on you.

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elppaple@reddit

Alright mister moneybags, don't enjoy yourself too much.

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Ginger_spice-13@reddit

If it’s within 10 or 15$ then probably just split, I don’t penny pinch when it comes to friends. If my bill however is say 50 or 60$ more then theirs then I will pay for myself. I don’t penny pinch but I also don’t want my friends to subsidize my meal. I say I pick up the whole bill with my friends a good portion of the time though, I definitely don’t mind treating them every now and then

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TheRealDanSch@reddit

I'm firmly in the "split it unless someone's taking the piss/clearly on a budget" camp. With my mates, we all buy rounds or split the bill if it's a meal. Folk who obviously had more will typically say "I'll pay extra/cover the tip because I had X" and if somebody's driving the group will usually cover more for their own drinks (and cover the meal of the person driving is giving people a lift). Likewise, if someone is skint and orders tap water and the cheapest meal, you wouldn't expect them to chip on and cover the wine bill and everyone else's starters. Over the piece, you figure out who the spongers are, and they don't get invited anymore. I don't keep a track of who bought the last pint, or who was in early and got a small round... but you can be sure that people will eventually find out if someone's taking the piss.

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Onneb00@reddit

Super beschrieben !! Habe derzeit das Problem und anders kann man es mit schmarotzern nicht regeln.

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wesleyD777@reddit

Yep this is the way.

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ThatYewTree@reddit

Split the bill unless someone has spent a particularly large or small amount. Pocket-calculator time upon getting the bill can be such a buzz-kill.

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Indigo_222@reddit

We just use phones now

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Aprehensivepenguin@reddit

Both If I order expensive you cheap. Pay what we buy You buy expensive I cheap . Pay what we buy We buy similar, happy to split bill

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Sudden-Requirement40@reddit

Depends on the bill. If everyone's order is within the same margin split if one person wasn't drinking, got a steak, only had an appetiser then either they pay for theirs then split or just pay for your own.

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Friendly-Worker-3474@reddit

People drinking gallons of expensive wine and then expecting me, a teetotaller to “just split the bill”.. quite honestly just go do one folks 🤬🤬

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Realkevinnash59@reddit

When I was younger I'd always split the bill to look relaxed and confident with my money but now I'm older and saving up with more bills to pay I'm always paying for what I ordered.

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JazzyMcgee@reddit

If there are drinks involved always pay what you order. I’m a big drinker (high tolerance, I hate it cause I don’t even drink too often anymore and any night out gets super expensive now). And splitting that with people wouldn’t be fair on them. It’s a case by case issue, but mostly if it’s just a meal or a pizza when at a party we split evenly.

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txteva@reddit

If there's a mix of drinkers and non-drinkers or some ordered starters and some didn't then I'll say we should pay for what we ordered. Also best to suggest this at the start of the meal too. If everyone is roughly even (give or take £5) then just split the bill. I know a few who do the 'oh I didn't notice I used the tip money for my meal' people. I always make sure they pay directly next time.

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Monkeyboogaloo@reddit

Split the bill or pick up the tab. If someone isn’t drinking then we adjust for that person accordingly but cokes etc aren’t so much cheaper now days.

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non-hyphenated_@reddit

Split unless one diner is massively under or over

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dick_piana@reddit

This is the best way, especially if it's people you regularly dine with, as it evens out in the end I find, but if the balance is a little off then you can split to reflect that. Doesn't need to be a precise calculation, just good enough.

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non-hyphenated_@reddit

Yeah, my mates will often say "I'll put a bit more in because I had _x_ "

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birdmanrules@reddit

See this is the type of people I now only agree to dine with. People who realise they got ALOT more than me and chips in more Don't care if I pay a bit more than those who drink, as my liver cancer prevents me. But I feel used by those who want to drink top shelf and make me split double or triple my share.

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_Odi_Et_Amo_@reddit

I've got one friend group that always spits the food bill, but you have to buy drinks at the bar. I quite like it as an approach as, even if you aren't taking the mick, a couple of beers will distort most food bills compared to your tap water consuming designated drivers.

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birdmanrules@reddit

That works too

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patronus1123@reddit

This is the way! If someone’s had something expensive they throw extra in or if someone isn’t drinking we tell them to just throw their own meal cost in and split the rest, if some of us have starters and others haven’t we throw extra in. It’s really not difficult to be fair

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chipscheeseandbeans@reddit

A few comments have mentioned it “evens out in the long run” but I’m not so sure of that, surely people’s tastes and dining habits don’t change that much? So for example someone who likes steak and to drink a lot of nice wine will almost always spend more than a sober vegan.

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greendragon00x2@reddit

This is what our friend group did. Just split the bill at restaurants. Also took turns hosting dinner parties, except one guy who doesn't really cook and couldn't be arsed. So he took us all out his treat a couple of times over the years. It works fine if nobody is taking the piss.

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BlueAcorn8@reddit

This only works with the onus being on the on who needs to pay more having self awareness & offering themselves. Usually the group will never turn to one person to say you need to pay more, so it’s the ideal situation for people who take advantage or are thoughtless.

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Thingisby@reddit

Yep split the remainder once Dave who didn't have a starter and was drinking water because he's driving has chucked his 15 quid in.

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ThrowRA67-89@reddit

Used to happen to me at a sushi place close to work but in my home country. Everyone would order mains, seconds, sides and there was only one item in the menu I could eat because of allergies. So the bill always came out as double of what I ordered. After a while I'd always declined the times they were going to that place and told them it was my allergies, and they suddenly stopped inviting me even to the pizza place. . I wondered if someone actually realised that they didn't get such a big difference with having me at the other restaurant and decided not to invite me any longer. Toxic place

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MaleficentCoconut458@reddit

Pay for what you ordered but if it is a B-day dinner you pay for what your ordered & split the B-day person's meal between everyone else (within reason). I am a non drinker & I do not eat seafood so I don't think it is fair for me to have to chip in equally when my meal usually tops out at about $40 to 50 for two courses & soft drinks while everyone else is doing seafood platters at $100 a head & bottles of Moet at $120 a pop.

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CompanyOtherwise4143@reddit

Step 1: Everyone who wants to pay for what’s ordered pay their share Step 2: splitters split what’s left Easy

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Potential-Hope-2394@reddit

We had dinner last night with friends. I had cocktails so a lot more than them. So I chucked in more to cover cocktails.

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Luke_Gawthorp@reddit

Split for sure

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granolagirlie724@reddit

i have one group of friends who’s extremely tight (we’re all in early 30s and earn decent money), and always insists paying for what we got even when it’s a couple quid difference. i find it tacky & childish to be like that amongst friends over a small amount, not like we’re 17

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imminentmailing463@reddit

When I was younger it was definitely always 'pay for what you ordered'. Now me and my friends are older and wealthier we nearly always just split the bill, unless someone has had something wildly more expensive in which case they'll suggest they chuck in more.

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fat_mummy@reddit

I went for a meal with two friends and immediately said we’d pay for our own because I was sharing a bottle of wine with one of them. However, when the bill came it worked out a couple of quid difference. Felt like a bit of an idiot!

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MiddleAgeCool@reddit

If you're going out with friends on a regular basis, things like that tend to balance themselves out over time.

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Adamsoski@reddit

People say this but a lot of the time I don't think it really does. Certain people in the group are much more likely to have a drink, get a bigger plate of food, etc. than some other people - so over time the difference in "total cost of entertainment" will increase between those two people/groups of people. It's not that big of a deal, but is worth keeping in mind.

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BertieFlash@reddit

They do if you have decent friends, it's actually kind of a good litmus test.

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Sparkly1982@reddit

If you're doing it because you thought yours would be more expensive than theirs, it's not silly even if it works out exactly even - it's considerate!

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fat_mummy@reddit

Yeah that’s what I was thinking. Ended up ours was £28 and the other persons was £26, so I felt like a bit of a tit, ah well!

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Direct_Jump3960@reddit

"right. Pockets. Change. What you got? Don't make me pat you down. We'll call it even at 10 bob". Tbf I've known people who are worse than that.

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Sparkly1982@reddit

I used to run a bar and have heard someone say "I'll get my own pint in here because the one I bought you was £3.50 and they're only £2.50 in here, so you get me one back in the next bar".

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Cassiopeia_shines@reddit

One of our friends was always a bit hard up so we'd often end up buying him more drinks than he bought us - he's a lovely guy and we totally didn't mind - but he was always quick to get a round in when we ended up somewhere cheap.

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doihavetousethis@reddit

Doing his bit when he can, its nice to have a friend group where that is enough!

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Cassiopeia_shines@reddit

Yeah exactly that - doing his bit where he can! And he's a super nice guy, can't help you out with money but always quick to volunteer his time if you need help with something.

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doihavetousethis@reddit

His time is worth more than his money - I have friends like that. Not a penny to rub together but always willing to help.

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BillyBatts83@reddit

Not a dickhead move at all. Quite the opposite. If I'd been at that table I would have privately noted your upfront consideration, regardless of what the final bill ended up being.

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The-OneWan@reddit

There are friends and then there are piss-taking friends. So depends on the friends.

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imminentmailing463@reddit

I don't think I have any of the latter.

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Dr_Turb@reddit

Likewise; with the addition that, if I know one of the group is more strapped for money (or even, just a tightwad who refuses to pay more than her/his share!), I'll be happy to split it, or pay more, to avoid them being embarrassed (or being a pain). As I see it, the meal out together is meant to be about having an enjoyable time with nice companions, and that's worth PayPal little extra for, and avoiding awkwardness.

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Historical_Owl_1635@reddit

> or pay more This is dangerous ground to walk on as what you see as generosity can very often come across as very patronising. If you’re going to pay for a broke friend it’s usually better to offer beforehand or wait until asked

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grandsatsuma@reddit

Autocorrect coming in clutch

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Illustrious-Engine23@reddit

I used to be like this and now everything is just stupidly expensive.

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CardinalSkull@reddit

Yeah split then round up or down (if they let you). I’m not fussed about £5 here and there.

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Training-Entrance-18@reddit

>they'll suggest they chuck in more. Yeah this is the clash thing to do. Last time I went out with the guys I ordered a steak that was maybe twice the price of everyone else's so I tried to pay my fair share (I.E. nearly double than they would be to pay) because I knew I'd ordered expensive. That said, they wouldn't let me pay more than them either.

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Nrysis@reddit

The important thing is that company matters. When you know and trust everyone and it is understood that nobody is taking advantage, a few quid either way is meaningless and works itself out over time. When you don't know everyone well? That's when you start wandering about the guy ordering all the fancy stuff and not wanting to be lumbered with a bill of twice as much as normal...

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Coraldiamond192@reddit

I feel like this topic has been asked an awful lot on here. Either way it's different for all of us but I think most people might lean towards just paying for what you have. It makes it easy in that case as opposed to dealing with splitting the bill.

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Pinetrees1990@reddit

I think this is it. Honestly if it costs me an extra £10 or 20 it honestly makes no difference to my finances. I get when your struggling you pick cheap food ect but we're fully grown adults now with decent jobs just split it and move on.

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Ok_Donkey_1997@reddit

It's definitely much easier to think this way when you aren't strapped for cash, but when I go out with my friends and the bill comes around, I think of it as the price of going out with my friends, not the price of the specific food and drink I had. Unless someone is absolutely pulling the piss and it pushes the bill outside the price bracket I was expecting, I don't even think about it.

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omg-someonesonewhere@reddit

I've learned that I need to stop giving my experience in this debate because me and my friends are all students lol. I've always thought that paying for your own food was standard. Turns out we're just broke :)

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mykneescrack@reddit

I’m happy to split the bill if it’s fair. I don’t eat meat and I don’t drink; I have an acquaintance who doesn’t consider how much I actually contribute to the entire bill and I end up spending twice as much, if not more than what I should be paying. It gets me so irate.

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Snivelss@reddit

Your friends sound like decent human beings

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ferris2@reddit

Yes, this is exactly it. Once money becomes less important, it's an easy choice.

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WarmTransportation35@reddit

It works if everyone follows the principle and doesn't take advantage of the friendship.

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clrthrn@reddit

Close friends split the bill unless someone has gone wild. We also cover when others have splashed out previously. For example, everyone covered my meal/drinks once as I paid for the meat at a bbq we recently had. Anyone else inc colleagues, we pay for our own.

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djwillis1121@reddit

We always just pay for what we've each ordered. No one I know pays with cash for anything any more so it's very easy for the waiter to go round each person, they say how much they have to pay and then pay by card.

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Emotional-Steak1339@reddit

I used to be a waitress and this is what most people did.

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BoredReceptionist1@reddit

I feel like this is annoying for the restaurant though, because they get charged a fee for each card payment

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Apidium@reddit

Meh. So it goes. It's the modern version of folks throwing assorted notes into the middle of the table. The restaurants contract with their payment provider is their buisness decision. Some folks will have fees per transaction. Others have a fee % of charge. Others pay a higher monthly fee and have no per transaction fees. You can't really expect folks paying in a card based analog of how they always have to also figure out if the owner of the place makes more profit that way or not.

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Dependent-Range3654@reddit

They wouldn't refuse an individual diner on the basis of a card machine fee, principle holds

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Responsible_Ebb3962@reddit

Oh no a business has to put in some effort, come on if a restaurant got chewy over that ill just make good food at home which I normally do anyway.

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djwillis1121@reddit

Is the fee a percentage or a fixed amount? I would imagine it's a percentage and if so it makes no difference at all. Say there are 5 people paying £10 each and the fee is 5%. Either they each pay £10 and the restaurant pays a 50p charge on each payment, or they pay £50 all together and the restaurant pays a fee of £2.50. Either way the total fee is the same.

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Emotional-Steak1339@reddit

Pay for what I ordered unless we shared the food. If it's uncomfortable me (or someone else) will pay the bill and take a picture of the receipt, and people can send me money later.

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prettybunbun@reddit

We pay for what we ordered. But that’s cause orders vary wildly. One of my friends always gets a dessert, some people love a sharing platter etc, I’m a vegan so mine is inevitably (and for no good reason) a tenner more. Just easier than someone who only ordered a main having to pay for 6 of us having ice cream and a coffee.

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Phil1889Blades@reddit

Depends on who with, what has been eaten, how well I know them but often a splitter if the rules are met.

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scribblepiss@reddit

I always get wound up when this conversation arises lol Visions of a friend I lived with years ago, we'd often go out as a group and she'd be the one with the calculator at the end (thinking nobody was watching), finding out whether it would be beneficial to her to split the bill or not. She was on about double the minimum wage at the time (the rest of us were either on or just above minimum), and having lived with her I knew more than anyone else how penny-pinching she could be, often at other (usually less well-off) people's expense. I've no issue paying by either way, if I am paying for a small amount more than I got it's no biggie, I'm sure on occasion I have been the one eating the most expensive meal of the lot

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Ok-Advantage3180@reddit

I’m a split the bill unless people over order person. As an example, when I was 15/16 a large group of us went out for a meal for a friends birthday. Me and one of my friends didn’t order much. We pretty much just drank tap water and ordered a small pizza each. Everyone else was ordering drinks, sides, large meals, and dessert. I’m not gonna slate them for doing that because they can do what they want. However, when it came to paying the bill, I only had a £20 note and what I had ordered came to about a tenner. They decided right there and then that we should all pay for the birthday girls meal (which I would have been fine with if someone had mentioned it beforehand). They also decided we should equally share the change, even though the money some people had put in didn’t even cover their full order. I got £2 back when I should have had a tenner and when my friend pointed this out and it had happened to the both of us (bearing in mind those who had put less money than they spent in and were also getting change), we got shouted at for making a fuss by the person who had split the change as they couldn’t see the problem (bearing in mind most of these people came from well off families and we didn’t). From then I learnt to never split the bill unless everything you’ve all ordered is roughly the same price. I’m not as fussed about it now, but back then when it was my parents money that they didn’t have much of, I felt so bad.

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Wild_Region_7853@reddit

Pay for what you ordered. I went on a hen do last year and we went for a meal (which was shit) and ended up paying ~£60 for a shitty hot dog, chips and a soft drink because others had ordered cocktails and desserts (I was pregnant and didn’t fancy dessert) and we split the bride’s share between us too. Mine on its own would have come to about £20.

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WilloftheArbiter@reddit

That’s what happened to me on a stag do last year, I had one course and a Diet Coke, others had starters and steaks with sides, plus multiple beers. Split the bill and I ended up paying over double what I would have if we payed for what we ordered.

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BroodLord1962@reddit

Pay for what I order. You can guarantee when you do the whole split bill thing, some idiot will decide to order the most expensive thing on the menu that they would never do if they had to pay for it themselves

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BasicallyClassy@reddit

There are a few people I'll split with, but not many. Certainly not my friend's extended friend group that has a goddamn thief who never puts in their share. I know it's you, Helen, you common tart.

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Apotak@reddit

I had the same experience, a colleague who didn't pay. To avoid this, one person pays the whole bill, send a photograph of it to all the others and the money is transferred to the person who paid. No way to sneak away without paying.

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ketamemeaddict@reddit

Never be that person though cause people won't pay

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Apotak@reddit

I have different experiences, but I guess my colleagues know they can't abuse me.

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sabretoothian@reddit

Username checks out 😄

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Vehlin@reddit

That’s why you call them out on it in front of the whole group. Make them squirm

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BasicallyClassy@reddit

I knew but couldn't prove it sadly! So I just don't go out with them anymore, and said that it was because I knew one of them was a thief, but I didn't care enough to play Miss Marple when I could just hang out with other groups instead

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TheDocJ@reddit

I'll go with whatever seems likely to keep the peace best. Many years ago, on a group holiday, we split the bill equally. Didn't bother me, no-one was taking the piss with what they ordered. But it was clearly winding up one of the wives. So, it a genuine attempt to try and keep the peace, on the last night, I suggested that we agreed to each pay for our own meals that night. Guess which couple ended up having to pay most? And guess who couldn't say a thing about it?!

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gogginsbulldog1979@reddit

It depends who it's with, but I really don't care enough to argue over a few quid extra unless it's something obscene.

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Qyro@reddit

Always pay for your own, that way I can have whatever I want guilt free, and you can have whatever you want without pissing people off.

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gearvruser@reddit

Pay for what you ordered! Damn Freeloaders.

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KathleenSlater@reddit

Why are you choosing to hang around "junkie alcoholics" you don't like? You sound like a judgemental nightmare if I'm honest.

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kavik2022@reddit

Hello welcome to reddit.

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RhodaBorrocks@reddit

This is why I opt to just pay for what I’ve ordered. I don’t drink at all so I’m not really up for paying for the rest of the groups booze when it effectively doubles my cost

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wesleyD777@reddit

Yes, non drinkers get the short end of the stick.

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EtainAingeal@reddit

Vegetarians too. Their options are usually limited and their meal usually costs a bit less.

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i_hate_parsley@reddit

> Get your calculator out and get adding, bish I’m losing it 😂👌

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CockKnobz@reddit

Why is it the people that don’t drink always make a thing of it lol. You must be eating out with some pretty awful people

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roygbiv1000@reddit

I don't drink either and friends often insist I pay less as a result. However, I prefer to split it evenly. Quite often non-alcoholic drinks are stupidly expensive anyway, and, as I like to say, I had an even share of the fun of being out with friends. I'm in the privileged position of being able to do this, though, so I totally get why others wouldn't want to split evenly in the circumstances.

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gooderz84@reddit

Winds me up people binge drinking for two hours at a group meal and then declaring the bill should be split between however many people are there.

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Inevitable-Slice-263@reddit

Ask for two bills, one for food, one for drink.

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One-Picture8604@reddit

When I was younger I had some friends who expected me to subsidise their booze bills when we went out for a meal, and then had the audacity to call me tight when I refused.

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SvarogTheLesser@reddit

Why are you regularly dining with people you so clearly dislike so much? 🤣

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TheRealDanSch@reddit

You should find some different friends to dine with - if you were in my friend group that would definitely be my advice to you.

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Slumbermo@reddit

Why, because he doesn’t drink?

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TheRealDanSch@reddit

Attitude, mate, nothing to do with being tee-total. If I thought one of my mates was talking about us like that they wouldn't be a mate for long.

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Zubi_Q@reddit

Thank you!

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AccidentAccomplished@reddit

Any parties in the diary?

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justjokecomments@reddit

Pfff who pays for a diary. Calendars at work are free!!

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AccidentAccomplished@reddit

thats what I meant but I can't spell collinder

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kopikekasih@reddit

Amen to this. People try and shaft me with their booze bills constantly.

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negan90@reddit

Based

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blumpkinator2000@reddit

Couldn't have worded this any better myself, bravo! 👏

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lainxer@reddit

Lol, sounds like you could use a drink!

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kavik2022@reddit

I'd rather pay what I ordered. If I ordered it. I know I can afford it. And I can't be bothered with the fuss splitting causes. "Oh if you pay x 3 quid. And z pays s 2 quid. And we divide up by 3 and then we add 1 quid each..." Just let me pay for what I got and move on with my life.

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SkipMapudding@reddit

We had a Christmas lunch out at work and said we’d split the bill apart from the Office Junior who vehemently said no way he’s paying towards any of our meals. At the end he worked out what he’d had (ate and drank more than everyone else) using his calculator. Then when someone split the bill between everyone including him he quickly changed his mind about paying for his own as it was quite a lot less.

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Jlst@reddit

I have two friend groups. One of them is a ‘pay for what you ordered’ group and the other one is a ‘split the bill’ group. The first lot are friends in more minimum wage/start-of-their-career jobs and the others are more in 10-years-into-their-career jobs, so obviously that makes a difference. Doesn’t bother me which one we do but obviously as long as people aren’t taking the piss.

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banedlol@reddit

Eat out?

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CottonSocksRocks@reddit

I do a bit of both. If my finances are good then I happily split (although I'm almost always paying for more than 'my share' as I don't eat meat and the vegetarian option is usually a fair bit cheaper but that's my choice and I'm okay with that) but if things are more of a struggle like they have been recently I will make it clear before we order that I'm only paying for what I order and that I will be ordering frugally.

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Dapper_Plan_3781@reddit

Don't go out to eat. No people, no problems!

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Emmanulla70@reddit

Depends on the type of place it is and the people that are there.

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MisterD90x@reddit

Me and my mates who have all known each other for over 25+ years, we have always done "pay what you order" It's just how we have always done it.

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SorbetOk1165@reddit

I go with the flow. If people want to split I split (if I’ve ordered more I offer to pay more and point out I’ve had more) If people want to pay separately then equally I’m happy to do that

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TwinionBIB@reddit

I very rarely dine out as a group anymore with people who I'm not comfortable having this conversation with. With my family and friends we all take turns to cover the whole meal unless you're having problems with money or it's a special treat to celebrate something etc. However if I was going out with new people and this came up I would ensure I only pay for what I ordered. Like you I had something similar when I'd only been working at a place for 2 months, everybody went out for lunch and they all ordered cocktails and expensive meals with steak, I am a vegetarian who is the designated driver and I'm careful with what I eat. I ordered a soft drink and a salad. My bill came to something like £12 whereas my colleagues averaged at around £50 each and they all wanted to split the bill but I was 19 and really struggling for money at the time. I didn't want to have to deal with the embarrassment of telling my drunk boss that I couldn't afford to do that and so I said goodbye to my wages for the day to cover for all my drunk colleagues. I had to pick up an extra shift the next week to be able to pay my bills. Never again.

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Temporays@reddit

Have you ever noticed it’s the person/people that order a fuck ton of stuff that suggests splitting? Or they start “ordering stuff for the table/everyone” when no one actually wants the stuff. 100% every time pay for your own stuff.

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hitomycat@reddit

Nah I had an ex bil who would “float” to speak to people he knew and would be ordering doubles and triples of McAllan to our table or pretending he was heading to the bathroom and that he was nursing the same drink all on the guise we were splitting the bill and paying for him to have a right good time. I’ll be paying for what we ordered thanks. Caught on when I was pregnant and the only one of us sober to catch on to what he’d been up to and most likely had got away with for a loooong time.

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SIBMUR@reddit

Most people have said similar. You split unless someone or a couple have had food/drink that is obviously more expensive. I think it's poor etiquette when someone who has done this doesn't offer to pay more, which then takes away any potential awkwardness. For example, if you go out as a couple with another couple. You all get starter and mains, but you're drinking water and the other couple get 2 bottles of wine between them. If the other couple don't say 'oh but we got the wine so we'll throw in another 20 quid' then I think that's poor. The worst has to be people that get roughly the same as you but their start or main was slightly cheaper (say by 5 quid or something) and they then force you to pay more. That's taking the mick IMO. It's about common sense and proper etiquette. Most people have it but some don't.

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xX8Havok8Xx@reddit

Split the bill and separate the alcohol unless someone splurged and then everyone pays for themselves.

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SoMuchTehnique@reddit

Split and if I've had a few extras I'll pay for that

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Another_Random_Chap@reddit

I don't drink alcohol, and after a meal where the others drank like fishes and I ended up paying nearly three times what my meal actually cost, I always pay for my own.

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Oliver_Moore@reddit

It depends on who i'm with, and what the event is. Low key friend hang? Probably split. Work lunch? Pay what you ordered. Long time family friends who we haven't seen in years? I might even pick up the whole bill.

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FlissMarie@reddit

Always pay for what I ordered, as I never order starters or anything and I don’t drink alcohol. My bill normally comes to about £20 max, with others nearly double that. Might be petty on my behalf, but I don’t care 😇

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ads90@reddit

All depends on who you’re with and what you ordered. I don’t mind going up or down by a couple of quid but when there’s loads of you and the difference of what you paid and what you ordered is like £10+ it’s a bit ridiculous.

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fireborn1472@reddit

Just split it. If I order something more expensive, chuck more in. If I'm having 1 course and drinking water for whatever reason, put in less. It all evens out eventually. I do have 1 friend that gets offended if they have facilitated booking a group meal and then others offer to pay/split at all, and that I don't understand at all.

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pommnoir@reddit

I have usually been a split the bill kind of person, it's what I'm used to and what the people I usually go out with would do. A couple years ago I went out on a double date with some (ex, funny that) close friends, when the bill came they made a big show and dance about paying for what they'd ordered, cool no probs, once the split bill arrived they were visibly horrified that theirs cost significantly more than ours

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Fragile_reddit_mods@reddit

I’ve never been in that situation but I’m paying for what I ordered.

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nimbustwothousand@reddit

Always pay for what I ordered. It's just easier. If I say it depends on how even the split would be, then I have to draw a line in the sand every time. I don't drink, and I think steak is overrated (come at me), so I usually have the cheaper split anyway and it's just easier to state from the beginning that I expect to only pay for what I ordered. There is one exception: my FWB and I order food, take it in turns to pay, and trade the same £10 note back and forth every time.

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infantile-eloquence@reddit

Older but still as stretched financially so still pay what you had, unless it roughly works out to the difference of less than £5.

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Lordfontenell81@reddit

Split, unless someone is drinking. They shouldn't have to pay for other people's wine.

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Lordfontenell81@reddit

Edit Unless someone isn't drinking.

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ProjectZues@reddit

Went for a meal once and they brought the calculator out before we ordered

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Whimsy-chan@reddit

We are a pay for what you ordered friend group because everyone gets different drinks.

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YungTabernacle@reddit

Prefer to pay for what I ordered because I’m usually the only person that doesn’t drink

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Preacherjonson@reddit

Depends. If everyone orders something similarly priced, sure, split the bill. If one person has ordered a noticeably more expensive meal, then I'm paying my own.

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GrimQuim@reddit

Always split the bill, my friends are total saps so I make sure I'm on the champagne to start, duo of starters, a massive well done bit of fillet, a big choccy dessert + a cheese and whisky finish, these mooks need to pay for my company.

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inmyskin1@reddit

Depends on the setting, if they are all ordering expensive alcohol and dishes, I’ll pay what I got, if Im with close friends I usually split the bill as we would hVe had similar amountbeCh and we know each well enough not to grumble over a few pound extra here or there. . My sister was recently caught out though, she is gluten intolerant and the restaurant her colleagues chose she could only have one cheap item off the menu and drank water, as it was a large table of people and they were all deep in conversation, so she didnt see the original receipt arrive and was surprised when waiter just came to her with a card machine and told her the “equal” amount everyone else had paid, she felt obligated as she was the last one paying, it seems everyone had just been tapping their card and relied on one person at other end of table that had “worked it out’ but has since realised she needs to make a point of telling people what she’s had and she isn’t splitting as this was probably the most costly salald she’s ever had.

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modumberator@reddit

depends how poor the people I'm eating with are

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TokyoJones85@reddit

I just split the bill as my friends and I can't be arsed working it out. If there is a non-drinker out with us and the rest of us have had three pints though, we factor that in so the drinkers are paying more.

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aviva1234@reddit

If I know that someone's paying or its a split the bill I'll order dishes on the lower end. If I'm paying I get what a want I hate splitting the bill because I never order much and don't see why I should pay for people who do. With good friends either we go halves or I pay one time they pay the next

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Viking_Hobbit83@reddit

Split it unless someone is taking the piss :)

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PsychSalad@reddit

When we get food, my friends always spend more than I do. A big reason for this is I don't eat meat and they do, so the dishes I order are less expensive. So I'm 100% 'pay for what you order' because otherwise I'd be consistently getting ripped off. That shit adds up.

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Mythbird@reddit

Usually it depends on who is eating with us. Some friends order things equally, others go well out and have multiple cocktails when others are the designated driver and has a cola. So it depends. I also had that friend who waited till the last moment, counted up the cash and then left the exact amount and pocketed the change. We split the bills and paid at point now with card.

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monkeymidd@reddit

I always state at the start that I am paying for my own , my reasoning is that if not I feel obliged to order on par with everyone else. I don’t go out much as a busy adult so when I do I want to splurge , if I want the fillet and the £30 bottle of wine I don’t feel a twat ordering it if I have announced that I am paying for my own stuff. Also I’ll occasionally pick up the tab for my mates but I always decide this at the end of the meal and it’s never expected.

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matweat@reddit

If it's a friend I eat with regularly, we just take it in turns to pay. Otherwise split or I'll pay if I'm feeling generous. I enjoy treating my friends and have plenty of disposable income these days. My friends are also pretty generous and will book fun things and not expect me to send them money, so I think overall we end up square

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futureballermaybe@reddit

With friends just split unless it's outrageous or if someone isn't drinking or didn't get dessert of whatever. It all washes out in the end. If it's someone I don't really know then I will pay what I bought.

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VerySwearyFairy@reddit

Pay for what i ordered, and most of my friends are the same way. In fact, if the place has an app where we can order to our table separately, we do that. Because then we know exactly what we ordered.

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andyp159@reddit

I’m very much a “it depends on the situation” type of person. Sometimes me and my partner like a bottle of wine while others drink sorts/tap water, or we’re with someone and their kids. So the bills would be unfairly weighted if we split it down the middle. Here I’ll pay for what we ordered. But in others where the bill seems roughly the same for everyone, I’m happy to split - as long as everyone else is in agreement of course

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tmstms@reddit

Not paying anything is obviously wrong. But being over/under doesn't matter to me. If it DID matter (e.g. if I had too little money to be generous) I would just not go in the first place).

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Prestigious_Seal@reddit

I hate that mentality. Can't afford to be "generous". Guess I'll stay home then.

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tmstms@reddit

If you're poor, you're poor.

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Prestigious_Seal@reddit

Okay, mate. Hopefully one day you'll get a group of friends who will hang around with you without you having to get every round in. Until then, stay "generous" and call everyone else "poor".

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tmstms@reddit

I'm 63. So 'one day' is a bit optimistic! I'm not why people are dismissive of my comment. When I've been the same sort of level of financial comfort as the people around me, I've simply not thought about these things and everyone has got their round in in rotation, or people have split the bill without owrrying who has had the steak and who the pasta. If I've been poor, and have not been abletopay my way in a group, I've not gone out so as not torelyon the generosity of others. Why is this controversial? Are you and people downvoting me thinking that I am saying- *if I can;t pay for EVERYBODY I don't go?* I'm saying *If I can't pay for myself as a share of the table, I don't go.*

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Prestigious_Seal@reddit

I'm not really sure what you're trying to say tbh. It's a bit of a ramble

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tmstms@reddit

I was saying that if I was too poor to pay my way, e.g. not working, I would just not go. I dunno why anyone finds that controversial. But people seem quite hostile to that.

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Prestigious_Seal@reddit

That's not what you said initially.

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tmstms@reddit

That's EXACTLY what I said initially, I'm sorry if you thought 'You' meant you- Prestigious_Seal not me , tmstms.

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Prestigious_Seal@reddit

Errrm, no, it's not. This is what you said: "If it DID matter (e.g. if I had too little money to be generous) I would just not go in the first place)" Clearly saying if you couldn't afford to pay above what your own bill would cost, you wouldn't go out

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tmstms@reddit

Exactly! Yes! I agree with both you AND myself in interpreting what I said. If I could not afford to pay above my own bill, I would not go, because I would not want to get into the situation OP describes, where the other or one other person forces a 'split the bill' situation and I cannot pay an equal share.

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Apidium@reddit

Everyone knows folks too poor to let £5-30 be irrelivent you can't go outside, have a meal with some friends or attend a work meal to foster connections. You should really just stay where nobody can see you.

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tmstms@reddit

I don't get why my comment is controversial. At times in my life, I have been too poor to afford £20-30 on a night out, so I have not gone. Obviously that was never the case if I was in work. If I was in funds enough to go out at all, I didn't worry about paying a bit more or less than the other people. I am 63, in my life I have been both poor and less poor.

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glorious_purpose51@reddit

Literally. Having spare cash to subsidise someone else’s lobster and ten drinks shouldn’t be a prerequisite for going out for a meal, that’s a ridiculous way of thinking of things.

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Jammin4B@reddit (OP)

See, I do agree with the this to an extent, and I’m fortunate enough now that splitting a bill is not ever going to a be an issue for me, however, when I was younger/earning less I can remember having to go to work meal events knowing I could only afford the cheaper menu items, and absolutely dreading someone saying ‘let’s split the bill’ as whilst I’d be able to do it, it would mean I’d have less money for the things I actually needed. That said (and tbh, this genuinely is because of the ‘freeloading pisstaker’ mentioned in my question) when I attend a work meal now, I am hyper aware of the more junior colleagues and what they may/may not be able to afford and so if I note them ordering cheap items/no starter or dessert/barely drinking etc, I will loudly push to pay for what you ordered only, because a) I would have been so grateful for someone doing that when I was skint, and b) if those that order a lot/take the piss have a problem? They can have that problem with ME cos I certainly and absolutely will not lose even a wink of sleep over stopping a freeloading bludger take advantage!

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Valleyman1982@reddit

I’m probably the over orderer in a group as like an old fashioned to start, and possibly another cocktail to finish…. And am more likely to order more expensive nice wine and chip in more for that. So I typically throw in enough to cover me + a little extra as a minimum.

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Gammabrunta@reddit

I'll pay for it all if they will let me, if not whatever is needed.

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davbob11@reddit

Went to Prague with a group of friends. We decided to pay rounds, like one person would pay one whole bill and next meal the next and so on. My turn to pay came when we visited Hooters. Explaining that to the wife when it showed up on the bank statement was fun.

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Bosschef86@reddit

I don't really have many people I would call friends anymore but when we do meet up it tends to be either split the bill or agree on somebody pays for the meal another pays for the drinks and then take turns buying rounds of drinks or whatever we decide to do afterwards. Life ain't worth worrying about who pays for what anymore life is too short to worry about these things I've found personally

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MaverickFegan@reddit

I do whatever folk want, I’m happy to split the bill but paying for what you had is the fairest. There is this bullshit attitude that you are tight fisted if you want to pay for what you had, that it’s a sign of weakness. But some folk take the piss, I’ve had that situation where the nobhead got much of his meal paid for with the money already gathered, I got them to pay extra for the tip, they bregrudged a measly fiver which was nothing like their £20+ meal. They are the type of person who will go home or disappear in the toilets just as it gets time to pay for their round. This behaviour should not be tolerated, buying the most expensive thing on a menu should only be acceptable when work is paying, otherwise they should put in more.

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Inevitable-Slice-263@reddit

If there are some not drinking or only had one alcoholic drink, the food bill split equally and the alcohol bill split between the drinkers.

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TheMeanderer@reddit

Totally depends on who I'm with. Childhood friends who are all roughly in the same life stage - split it. Someone who just went back to uni to change careers - whatever works out less for them.

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Jammin4B@reddit (OP)

I agree, I definitely think that who you’re dining with is what makes all the difference and if I was with my immediate family or close friends, I’d happily split the bill regardless of what they ordered, I love those people and they love me so it’s never a case of feeling taken advantage of, but work colleagues and friends of friends? Nah, unless everyone has ordered a reasonably similar amount, I’m out. I am not adding an extra £20 to my tab just so a person I do not care one teeny tiny iota about can eat lobster and get off their face on expensive cocktails.

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shinebeat@reddit

For me, it depends on the people I am eating with too. If it is someone who wants to take advantage of me, I'm paying for only my share. If it is people I care about and people who do not take advantage of me, I will happily split the bill. If I have the capability, I will treat them.

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Lennyboy99@reddit

I always eat less than an equal share, I never have a starter or desert and don’t drink alcohol. It means that on an equal split I pay more than if I paid only for what I ordered but I am fine with that.

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hhfugrr3@reddit

Honestly, I'm a pay for the whole thing kinda guy. I hate all the fuss over dividing the bill and I'd rather pay more to not experience it ever again. Admittedly there is a limit. I went to lunch at Ivy Asia a few years ago where the bill was £2800ish and I happily split that monster!!

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Embarrassed-Arm266@reddit

Pay for what you ate or one person pays for the entire lot but I’ve only seen split the bill on tv shows

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london_smog_latte@reddit

Depends on a) who I’m with and b) the cost oof our meals - say I ordered a drink, starter and main but the other person only got a main then no I wouldn’t ask to split but if mine was a couple of pounds cheaper I’d say split it and if theirs was a couple of pounds cheaper I’d say do either or depending on what they want to do

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hamsterjenny@reddit

If my fella and I are dining with anouther couple we just split the bill. With our larger friend group we have a couple people who have a lot less money then us so we pay for our own as they order cheaper. If it's a birthday we pay for our own but split the birthday girl/boys meal so they don't pay.

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Emergency_Mistake_44@reddit

Depends who I'm with. If it's me and a few mates generally ordering the same sort of thing, just split it. If it's some 10+ party involving people I just met, I'll pay for myself more often than not. That said, if the split looks like I'm only gonna be a few quid over my actual total, I'm likely to just accept it and write it off as a tip.

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Asmov1984@reddit

If you're putting money in the pot, everyone puts money in the pot. If you're paying your own way, pay your own way. If this was a work dinner, you should've brought this up to HR because he's using his seniority to bully you into paying for him.

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Chilterns123@reddit

Split down the middle for drinkers, separate split for non drinkers. There’s nothing more tedious than finishing a nice meal with the calculators out or a grown adult arguing over a small amount of money

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Gold-Resolution2021@reddit

It depends. I rarely drink, and so if my partner drinks and we are out at dinner with friends and they all drink, we will just split. If we do not drink but they are drinking then I will split. I'm not paying for other people's alcohol, and if I order a more expensive option, I will pay what I owe.

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Adorable-Gas-3926@reddit

Split the bill, greatful that I don’t have to eat with people that want to add up what they had etc, I personally find it embarrassing adding up pounds. Sometimes I have more sometimes others have more; it balances out over time. If it is just me and a mate then either I would just pay it or they would just pay it, then next time vice Versa.

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V65Pilot@reddit

I pay for my own food and drinks. I'm on a budget, so have to balance things. Damned if I'm going to pay more because Bob decided he wanted a 16oz sirloin, and several mixed drinks, and I had a burger and a coke.

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Slumbermo@reddit

It depends. I don’t mind if people aren’t taking the piss. Even as a non-drinker, I don’t mind splitting if the folk there have a reasonable amount I.e I was out once with a couple of other people who had a bottle of wine, I don’t mind splitting that as it’s a perfectly reasonable amount. I did once go out in a massive group where folk got started on whisky and Brandie’s etc and my bill went from about £25 up to nearly £40 and yeah, I was pissed off with that.

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bringthepuppiestome@reddit

With trusted friends who regularly eat out together I split the bill, with people I don’t know as well I pay for myself and/or my family only. Here’s a weird one. When I was a new mum in my early twenties, I’d made friends with a small group of mums who had babies the same age as my son. Some had older kids too. We went for a meal and it worked out as about £150 for 4 adults, 4x 9month olds and 5x older kids who all got dessert. It was suggested to split the bill but I said I’d like to pay for my own since I was responsible for less than £20 (my baby was asleep for most of it and woke up to eat a few pieces off my plate). They didn’t like that I wasn’t part of the split (though I still tipped) and they were left with £130 bill between 3 paying people. They were so petty they stopped inviting us out, even to the park which is free. All in all, good riddance to them

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tintedhokage@reddit

Split if everyone is similar say within £5-10 of each other. Pay for what you had if there's a big discrepancy, one person no drinking or one person not eating much etc. Think this is fairest way. I'm also that guy who will let the group know if I think that someone should pay less as they had a lot less. They are still within their right to split if they want to but I know it can be a awkward to ask / state when you're the one who's had less.

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chiefgareth@reddit

I went out with some friends a while back and I spent £19 and they tried the old split the bill horseshit which came out £37 each or something. I wasn’t having any of it. That’s taking the piss when you know you’ve ordered significantly more than others but try it. If you all ordered basically the same then fair enough.

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culturerush@reddit

I never split, even with people I know. My take is that if there's an assumption your splitting then people won't get what they want to eat and drink because they want to keep what they get similar to everyone else to make the split fair which isn't fair on them because they are out and should have what they want as they are going to pay. Or they don't care about making other people subsidise their meal and that's not very considerate. So to not open that can of worms I just get my calculator out when ordering before they whisk the menus away, calculate what I ordered, round it up to the nearest tenner and pay that immediately when the bill comes. If everyone else wants to split thats up to them to do it with what's left, I'm not telling them what to do.

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coffeediva98@reddit

Pay for what I ordered cause I don’t drink and usually have a kids meal lol

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GoblinQueenForever@reddit

Depends on who I'm eating with. Family, we split. Friends, we pay for what we ordered, especially since there are a few of us who don't drink alcohol, and a few who drink a lot.

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Consuela_no_no@reddit

Don’t see the point of unnecessarily causing any resentment or is issue by splitting the bill, so my friends and I have always been on the “pay for what you ordered” team. That way no one is limited or feels like they’ve been taken advantage of.

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Snowey212@reddit

Depends who I'm out withsplit the bill friends and family, aquintances friends of friends ill pay for what I've ordered thanks. My cousin had a birthday meal with her mates 15 ppl and a few people seemed to neglect to pay for extra dishes and bottles of wine. This was after I'd chipped in for her meal mine and a tip and a few others had added tips too.

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Scotsoasis@reddit

Depends, if its close friends or family I pay on my card and the others either transfer their split or pay what they ordered depending on circumstances saves any embarrassing moments for some that may be short of cash that month. Work colleagues we always split and if someone takes the piss i go extra the next meal, that usually keeps things within reason

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Previous-Ad7618@reddit

Split if its roughly the same. Pay your own if not. I don't care about a few pounds/dollars but some people wanna do cocktails and deserts and I don't. My friends are cool though its never been an issue

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Colonel_Khazlik@reddit

I split the bill approximately then chuck in an extra £10-15. I can't be bothered to get a calculator out of piss about working it who offered more or whatever. Throw cash down and forget about it.

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AliquidLatine@reddit

I'm happy to split evenly, but I offer the option of paying per item because by husband and I almost always order 3 courses and drinks, so we probably contribute to a large chunk of the bill

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Legendofvader@reddit

That is why i always advocate pay per person

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CXM21@reddit

If what we've ordered is more or less equal then I'll split. If people bills are all over the place, I'm paying for my own. Then again, in the UK it's more common to only pay for your own.

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sioigin55@reddit

If I’m out with friends, we take turns paying the whole bill. If it’s with acquaintances, I pay for what I’ve ordered

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Vivaelpueblo@reddit

Had that happen to me on too many occasions of work get together meals, so I actively avoid them now. Why should subsidise someone else who barely knows me and will probably move on less than a year later. Friends and family is fine but fairly anonymous work colleague, erm, no.

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Pumpytums@reddit

I don't mind splitting the bill. UNLESS there is that one couple or person who thinks 2 bottles of Prosecco costs the same as a Coke. The individual who orders loads of sides for everyone to "Share" is as bad. Some people are just clueless with regards paying their share. I had this once at my partners birthday their sibling thought that their share was £20 I had to remind them that a main was £15 and there were 4 of them. I had a ex friend once declare he paid nothing for a meal out he used the tip to pay his share. He eat all the duck dish too which annoyed me more. I do hold grudges though.

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SketchbookProtest@reddit

I don’t mind splitting the bill but I definitely wouldn’t be impressed if they didn’t offer to pay for their more expensive thing separately. We had a work Christmas, and I ended up paying twice as much as what I’d ordered bc two colleagues went mad over the menu. What struck me as truly bad form is that neither of them even offered to pay for what they ordered. They were more than happy for everyone else to cover their gluttony.

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55percent_Unicorn@reddit

Correct response there (for the bold) would be that since they're more senior than you, they can pay for your food instead of the other way round. With great paycheck comes great responsibility.

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LongShotE81@reddit

I prefer to pay for what I order. There's always someone who orders more, sometimes I'm that person. It's just more fair and makes more sense.

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the_jackie_chan@reddit

I prefer to pay for what you order because I want the freedom to go for something extra. My friends go Dutch; balance it with a drink or something at a later date. I usually pay for the whole thing and split it on splitwise.

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mrafinch@reddit

In my current group of friends I’m happy to just split it x ways. Sometimes someone might order something a little more expensive and someone a little less so, but next time it might be the other way round. It’s all openly communicated and if someone can’t afford so much that time, they just say that and the rest are fine with it. Also, to stop the poor waiting staff feeling awkward as they watch a group of adults sulking because “they bought a sweet and I *only* ordered a slice of bread” - someone will pay the bill and we discuss how much people owe afterwards

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bahadarali421@reddit

If I am out with my work colleagues, the company is paying for the dinner or else am not going. So no splitting the bill or pay for what you ordered. If am going out with my friends and we split the bill then we have the courtesy to not go mental on the order and have a good time together.

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hwoppy2@reddit

We split the bill. But we all have an understanding that no one takes the piss, so there’s a series of questions when we’re ordering like “are we having starters?” “Are we having dessert?” “Anyone for coffee?” Just to get clearance to indulge.

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Minimum_Possibility6@reddit

Depends on who I’m with where I am, the reason for the meal, if I can expensive if it’s work related or not. Generally I’m a pay what you ordered person though.

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Jose_out@reddit

I only ever have meals with friends, family and occasional ly colleagues. We either split or one of us gets it this time and the other the next. If we're going for drinks, it's always rounds. Some days you may buy 1 round, some days 2 rounds. It all generally evens itself out. Only time I can ever think of paying our share was when my wife was pregnant and our friends insisted we paid less as she wasn't drinking.

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Zubi_Q@reddit

Pay for what you ordered and I say it at the start. I only get a main and I'm not paying for someone to have 3 beers and starters

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Orangejuicewell@reddit

I don't drink, so definitely pay for what I ordered.

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matscom84@reddit

We solved this by going to all you can eat type places, price per head then just split the beer bill

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AmbitiousCricket5278@reddit

I only order what I can afford so obviously the people who go out either me seem to enjoy ordering twice as much and asking to split. In future the answer will be no

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C-J-DeC@reddit

We’re pay for ourselves people UNLESS we have invited friends and we pay for everything. At a casual “let’s all go out for dinner” quick decision, never split the bill. If I choose an expensive steak & drinks, I’m paying for it.

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KoalaCapp@reddit

Both. Depends on who i am with and the occasion of the meal. What goes around comes around.

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Grouchy_Judgment8927@reddit

Pay for what you ordered. In a world of steak eaters, I like dirty fries. My bill is going to be way lower. I prefer separate tabs, so I can tip how I see fit, and not have it absorbed by the tabs of others in my party. I'm not cheap, I have been service industry. I want my money to go where I want it to go.

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wesleyD777@reddit

Seperate tabs? If you've been in the service industry then you know what a massive PITA those are for servers unless your point of sale can specifically handle them (hence why every Canadian waiter asks you your name). Although when you spend time in a culture like Canada where seperate tabs is the standard it simply makes much more sense. Saying that I do neither. I am at the phase of life where I pay, freeloading kids.

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Trishata96@reddit

Depends. If in a restaurant, it's pay for what we order. If we're hanging out and ordering pizzas, then whatever deals we use, we split. Example, if me and friend A agree to get X deal for 2 pizzas etc, then we'll go 50/50

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tedjr90@reddit

Depends on the group. If I’m with friends who are in a similar financial situation, I’m happy to split the bill, if I’m with friends who are not, I’m happy to pay for what we ordered.

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RotisserieChicken007@reddit

I'm okay with splitting the bill if all entrees are kinda similar. Not gonna pay for someone's lobster and champagne cocktail though.

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illegalbusiness@reddit

Am I the only person who takes it in turns to pay for the table? I find splitting so tiresome and pedantic. People always forget something as well and then it just screws everything up. Just cover the bill and you get the next one. I go out with a group of people once a month and I get a free meal for 5 months out of 6.

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Dazzling-Airline8361@reddit

I'm barely out for group meals but i'm usually pretty easy going unless everyone has ordered cocktails or multiple drinks when I've only had a soft drink. I enjoy alcohol but not with food.

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Justboy__@reddit

Depends who you’re with. With some friends we’ll likely have something similar. With some members of my family though, they will take the piss so I’d rather split the bill. I have noticed that it’s normally the people who take the piss that are normally shouting about splitting the bill.

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letmetakeaguess@reddit

Pay for yourself. I really dislike the total split.

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osterlay@reddit

Usually just split the bill if I’m with a group unless someone is genuinely taking advantage.

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snork13@reddit

Small group where you know everyone, and y'all pretty much have the same thing, happy to split the bill. Large group where you don't know everyone? Pay for your own. Only exception to this is if it's a celebration meal - birthday, promotion, retirement, etc. Then you chip in extra to cover the celebrating person. Let everyone know beforehand that (for whatever reason - real or BS) you're on a strict budget and will be paying for your own (plus chip in, if it's a celebration)

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AdFederal7351@reddit

I don’t associate with people who do that, they know what they’re doing.

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ellafantile@reddit

Honestly it depends who I’m with. One group of friends are in similar industries as us and similar wages, no kids, etc etc, and we always just split the bill or even “we’ll get this one, you get the next one”. My other main group of friends are not as well off financially and/or have multiple kids already, so I would always suggest we pay for what we ordered. And same with a work group, because there will always be people at different income levels as you.

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Kbradsagain@reddit

Depends on the group. Sometimes we are even pay for the group.

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NoRepresentative387@reddit

Pay for what you ordered I am vegan I usually only eat salad or vegetable dish. Plus, I don’t drink alcohol.

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Teaboy1@reddit

I'm quite lucky in that I don't have any friends who try and take the piss. We either split, or if someone has had something fancy, then they throw some extra cash in to cover their indulgence. Same with drinks. Also, the designated driver doesn't pay for their drinks, its picked up by the group.

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Teaboy1@reddit

Depends if people take the piss or not. If everyone has the same number of courses and meals that are similarly priced, I have no issue splitting. If some twat orders a fillet steak and a boujie red wine to go with it. Hell no, they're covering their own tab.

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MolassesZestyclose96@reddit

Friend of mine is the tightest person you’ve ever met in your life. As a group we are all ‘split the bill’ so when he comes out with us he’s all starter, fillet steak and dessert. Drives me insane

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NaomiT29@reddit

I'm too broke not to pay for what I order, 'cause I'm going to have only ordered what I know I can afford.

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nonearther@reddit

I'm lucky enough yo always find a group where splitting bill and pay for your meal generally come out sameish. So our go to is always split unless there's is drinks involved. In case of drink split cost of drinks between drinking people.

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SilverHinder@reddit

I'm very much a split the bill person but my main friends are tight-fisted misers and will count every last penny and then not tip, which I hate. If someone is not drinking or doesn't have as much, then it makes sense for them to pay for their own.

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rubygloommel@reddit

I usually get cocktails so I'd rather pay for my own than get other people overpaying. It's circumstantial though.

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CosyBosyCrochet@reddit

Usually we all share or have fairly equal amounts so we just split it but if like a couple of us were getting drinks in and the rest weren’t I’d pay for what we got, but I always find that it’s not about the way you split it but how much of a dick people are about it, like it should be an easy convo but if you’re the type of person to order 10 times more than everyone else then argue that everyone should pay equal then you won’t be getting invited out again

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cheekycutiepie9@reddit

Solidly in the pay for what you ate crew here. Not coughing up for someone else's posh nosh and champers!

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MowgeeCrone@reddit

I am a grazer. Plant based. Don't drink. Splitting a bill means for me I'm paying for my meal and half of yours. Every time. I'll split a bill or even shout, but I'm not paying for half your meal every time I see you.

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lolagranolacan@reddit

Pay separately. This way ensures that friendships won’t be strained by minor resentments over who had what. Plus no one has to explain their finances or philosophy. If we were splitting the bill evenly, I would feel guilty about ordering from the top end of the menu and getting expensive drinks. If money is tight, or my spouse and I mutually decided to reduce our spending for a common goal, I can go cheap and not have to worry about someone else going large. And if I’m feeling flush, and I know a friend has been having a hard time, I can just pay for my meal and their meal. It might also depend on where you live too. Here, it’s super easy to go around the table with the machine. When we are in the States, they do that weird thing of taking your card away to process the payment, sometimes it seemed easier to just hand over one card and do the math later. But we always did do the math after. My daughter doesn’t drink, my sister has the odd drink here and there, and I love trying new and fun cocktails. There is no way I’d let them pay for my bill.

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itsa_m@reddit

If it's my close mates then split the bill. Any other situation it's pay for what you ordered.

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GrumpyOlBastard@reddit

Just "separate checks, please"

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VicarAmelia1886@reddit

There’s always a cheeky cunt who thinks he can get away with it. Pay for what you order.

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imanimiteiro@reddit

I'm a sober vegetarian. I'm paying for what I ordered and only what I ordered.

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GrumpyOlBastard@reddit

I've been basically poor my whole life; I've never once done a "split the bill" thing. Never seen it done, never heard anyone propose it. Basically I've always thought it was one of those things you only see in American movies and TV shows

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JohnCasey3306@reddit

Depends who I'm out with ... Most my friend group earn decent money and we're all comfortable to split equally. But if I'm out with people for the first time I'll say I'm open to either, whichever they're more comfortable with.

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CatchGlum2474@reddit

I tend to order expensive things so push for pay what you had. I will also do this on behalf of people who ate and drank less and I can see others at the table attempting to take the piss (ordering three course and multiple bottles of wine v a vegetarian who didn’t drink, for instance.)

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Adept_Thanks_6993@reddit

Almost always split

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AntonioCampanello@reddit

I avoid going out to group dinners because of this. I hate paying twice the amount than whatI ordered because inconsiderate people think the bill should be split.

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Cyrious123@reddit

Usually same thing. If one ordered more expensive stuff, then of course you wouldn't split it even. When a customer says separate checks, they expect the split to be based on what they ordered.

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AntonioCampanello@reddit

Once I was in a low paying job and went out for a work meal. Our boss ordered a steak and bottle of wine to herself while the rest of us ordered smaller cost meals like pasta and some of us drank tap water. She insisted we split the bill at the end which wasn’t very fair.

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jaffajake@reddit

One person pays everything, then we can sort the itemisation out later. Speeds up the process while remaining fair.

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thedabaratheon@reddit

If we’re all eating similar things then split it. If one person (including myself LOL) is ordering a lot more or different stuff then seperate.

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elmo_touches_me@reddit

Generally split the bill. Someone pays for it all at the restaurant, they send a photo of the receipt in to a group chat and everyone sends what they owe. With that said, it's mostly an honour system. I don't pay much attention to who's paid me back or whether they paid the exact amount. So long as it doesn't feel like they're taking advantage, like refusing to ever pay the bill themselves, or being arsey if I do chase up a non-payer when I need the money.

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athiepiggy@reddit

Depends on how the meal is eaten. If we each eat our own dish then we pay for what we order, if we share everything family style then split the bill.

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Mjukplister@reddit

Split the bill

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ActivityNo9915@reddit

Depends on how many people there are (if there's loads then doing it by item would be very tedious), who I'm with (some of my friends are very particular about being paid back to the penny, with others I either just do it roughly or take turns paying for different things so it round about cancels out) and what people ordered (if it all costs around the same then we won't bother, but if some peoples were way more expensive we do it by item).

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PickyNipples@reddit

I prefer to pay for my own. Even with good friends. It’s not that I care about every dollar, but I don’t like having to pay attention to what other people order, or how they pay, or “who paid last time.” That stresses me out and makes eating out together stressful. If it’s up to me, I always prefer to pay separate, that I way I only have to worry about what I order and I what I need to pay. This applies to me and my bff coworker also. We have been best friends for years and we go to lunch at least once a week. But if possible I always still want to pay my own because if not, every single time we leave to go to lunch it’s “who’s turn is it?” “Who paid last time?” And I don’t like that feeling of having to keep track, even if it all mostly comes out in the wash. Even if there’s one instance of someone thinking you owe but you think they owe, that’s awkward and I’d just rather not deal. It’s probably just a “me” issue but I can’t help it. I want to take care of myself. Thanks.

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trefle81@reddit

I think I'm a ‘pay all of this bill, they can get the next one’ person. Then if someone fails to pony up next time, my memory is long and I have a word. Actually though, I'd prefer to be liquid enough to simply pay each time. Not to be Mr Big Bollocks or to buy friendships, but just so I could never have that conversation ever again.

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OriginalMandem@reddit

This question pops up a lot. The aim is to all order within a few dollarpoundyen of each other, eat and drink communally. If you want to go for something pricier, throw in some extra cash. It's not rocket science. By the same token don't turn up to a big sit-down meal and expect to get by on a breadstick and a side salad whilst everyone else is having a proper feed without maybe having to pay a little more than what you think is a fair price to be there.

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bongowasd@reddit

Pay for what I ordered. I'm cheap. My order is typically less than everyone elses. I don't wanna be here. Simple oven food is better than restaurant food.

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Vequihellin@reddit

A lot of it depends on the group I'm with. If I were out with a large group or work colleagues , I'd pay for what I ordered. If I'm out with close friends or family I'd split the bill.

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Homelanderino@reddit

My friends and I usually try to pay for the whole thing without the rest knowing. And then, it gives incentive for the next guy to get the next bill. If one bill is €200 and the other is €70, there is still no animosity. Of course we would offer to pay back in rounds of drinks or something to make up for the big bill someone paid for.

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ChocolateSnowflake@reddit

Pay for what you ordered unless everyone has had roughly the same in which case split.

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StoicWeasle@reddit

Splitting the bill equally is for chumps or the people you’d trust your life with. No in-between.

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squigs@reddit

With my fiancée it's take turns paying for everything. If you eat out with the same group a lot, and money's not a concern it's a nice way to do things. You get to treat others or be treated, both of which are nice feelings. If not, it depends. With close friends I'll usually ballpark it. Suggest an approximation (which may be an even split) and ask if that's sounds right.

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countvanderhoff@reddit

I don’t drink so generally pay for what I’ve had. I don’t fancy covering your two bottles of wine (not again anyway…)

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NifferKat@reddit

Split the bill, always.

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Novel-Truant@reddit

haha yeah thats what tight arses do when they're called out. They shift the blame. Oldest tight arse trick in the book.

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Boomingoverture@reddit

Whichever works out best. If it's better for me to pay just for mine, I'll suggest that, if it's better to split the lot, I'll do that. Depending on the size of the group though sometimes it's left to democracy, just for the sake of not arguing.

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Mr--Chainsaw@reddit

If it’s family then I like to sneakily pay the entire bill because YOLO

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Initial-Echidna-9129@reddit

I split, but I have a mate who refuses and it's a PITA to be out with her, as she spends 10 minutes dissecting the receipt when paying (it would be 50% less annoying if she thought forward and did it before the card machine came out)

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MiddleAgedMuffinTop@reddit

Split the bill. If there are non-drinkers we'll split the food bill and the drinks bill separately and the non-drinkers don't pay for the drinks. Can't remember doing a "pay for what you had" since uni.

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wolvesdrinktea@reddit

I don’t drink much while my friends will work their way through a few bottles of wine and then some over dinner. I’m firmly in the “pay for what you ordered” camp as I got sick of having to pay for all their booze every time.

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Moogle-Mail@reddit

As a slightly heavy drinker I'm 100% on your side in this. I don't want someone else to subsidise my drinking and I'd be embarrassed if I didn't pay for my own drinking.

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EastOfArcheron@reddit

Split the bill, but if I've had more alcohol than others (which is highly likely) I pay for that as well.

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_Harpic@reddit

Pay for what you order. I don't want to put others in an awkward place if I want to order more and I don't want to limit what I want to order to match others

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defynotbanned97@reddit

I don't see any personal benefit to splitting, you're either going to pay too much or too little. If the wait staff doesn't want to be dividing it all up at the end they should be keeping it separated by seat as they are taking the orders.

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ClydeB3@reddit

Definitely on side "Pay for what you ordered". It's something that's really frustrated me in the past, especially if I'd chosen the cheap options for that reason, or when other people take the mickey (much like your example, people who get the most expensive thing on the menu and multiple alcoholic drinks while I've just had a starter as my main and a glass of tap water!) My main exception is if it's in a tapas type place where everyone is sharing and eating a bit of everything anyway.

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Sharlizarda@reddit

I'm usually happy to split if I'm deciding, if it's a smallish group of adults that I know well. Pay what you ordered makes more sense in big groups to avoid freeloading. At family get togethers, where some people have kids meals and some might be on a really tight budget it's better to decide everyone will pay what they order. Nobody has to worry about getting extra items or feel anxious about not having enough money. So it usually ends up pay for your own, or in an extended family situation it's the Dads of the group facing off trying to pay for everyone.

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peachandbetty@reddit

For tables of 6+, split.

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guildazoid@reddit

I'm the "over spender" as I always want a wine I know I'll like, when people I'm out with often don't want to drink. I feel super bad and usually ask for individual as a result, it's awks working it out so I tend to say "I'll pay xxx and you decide whether to split". I don't take no for an answer

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redandfreckles@reddit

I am always pay for what you order. I know I'm the type to have cocktails, or wine with dinner, maybe both. And I tend to unintentionally go for pricier things (based on the description, not the price). Lots of my friends don't drink or eat meat so I would never broach the thought of split evenly.

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After-Distribution69@reddit

Depends on circumstances. Work meals should only ever be pay for what you had given the imbalance of power between colleagues and the differences in salaries of attendees. Also because many people go along because it’s important for their career rather than because they want to. When dining with friends I’m happy to split because none of my friends are pisstakers.

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Rough-Armadillo-@reddit

Depends on the group

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phillipaha@reddit

This exact thing has happened to me! I wonder if it’s the same person! lol. We went to turkey as a big group for a holiday once and I argued with him every night that I am tipping the waitress and not him! I made a point to tell the waiter / waitress that we had all tipped apart from him too, as they always brought free shots / treats over after the meal when we tipped well. The worst thing was that this guy worked in hospitality!!!!

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Lopsided_Afternoon41@reddit

I usually go for 'pay for what you order' because I drink like a fish and feel bad for non drinkers getting a chunk of my booze bill when they had a water and a coke.

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frontrow13@reddit

Depends if it's a birthday, birthday boy/girl doesn't pay so we split. If someone orders an expensive meal but doesn't drink as much or at all as other then it's usually fine to split. If someone orders steak has multiple beers and 2 bottles worth of wine and expects us to split I'd have a real problem with that. I had an argument at the table as step-father said he'd pay for meal at a birthday dinner and his nieces bf tried ordering the most expensive thing on menu as he wasn't paying. I made it clear he would be paying if he ordered that £60 steak.

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Ok-Noise2538@reddit

If I’m out with one friend then I don’t mind splitting the bill with them. If it’s a group outing then I’ll pay for what I ordered and will leave a few coins on the tip saucer if I have them. I remember the first time I went to a group outing. I arrived way late due to transport issues so was far too late to order food. I managed to order a drink before the bar stopped serving but when the bill came (and it was a huge 18 person bill) it was still split 19 ways so I basically paid near £25 for food I hadn’t even eaten.

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Scruffersdad@reddit

Depends.

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TheMinceKid@reddit

Pay for what you ordered.

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antimatterchopstix@reddit

Often split booze and food. Had a mate who always took the piss, would always pay what he reckoned. But he’d ‘forget’ ordered a starter, and a pudding, and a coffee, and tip….

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missxtx@reddit

Me n my friends are a pay for what you ordered… sometimes If we all order similar we just split. But Iv friends who don’t drink, some who have 5 cocktails n 3 courses, some may just ordered a side dish… depends who you are with I guess xx

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SomniloquisticCat@reddit

If it's a work thing, then pay for what you order. Or work foots the bill. If it's friends and I've invited them out, then I just pay the whole thing. If they invited my husband and I, they usually pay.

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ElBisonBonasus@reddit

Social anxiety and OCD make me want to both split and pay only for my own.

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Sloppypoopypoppy@reddit

Pay for what you had. It’s embarrassing when you are struggling and you have to tell everyone you ordered the cheapest thing off the menu for that reason. Even if I’m feeling flush, I don’t drink and I’m not paying for other people’s booze.

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Scarboroughwarning@reddit

I abhor the split the bill idea. I don't drink booze with my meal. 100% of the people I know, do so 2 or 4 while they wait, 2 with the meal, then 2 afterwards...that's £25 on the tab. Also, a few like to tip £10. So their tip and drinks push it significantly higher, especially when I don't gorge. If going for a meal, I like to go steady, so I order the smaller stuff. Most, it's like they have to try the £35 steak, and I get the £10 enchilada.

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howarth4422@reddit

I own a restaurant and 99% of the time it works as follows…… a group of males will split the bill equally even if one had a cheese sandwich and glass of water and the others each had a bottle of fine wine and a fillet steak. A group of couples will split the bill equally between each couple unless one of the wives is an awkward cow. A group of women will without fail ask me for a menu (even though the bill is itemised) to check the prices and then manually, on the back of a napkin work out exactly what each of them had, and then pay, almost exactly the same amount each, within a couple of quid

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Ninjanoel@reddit

never understood this, ALWAYS pay for what you order. order less, probably did so cause i'm short on cash. ordered more, how dare i suggest you pay for some of my meal. just weird to me, no good option to 'just split it'.

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tunapurse@reddit

im a pay for your order person, because i always order what i want and will spare no expense if i want to eat out, if ive ordered expensive stuff, cocktails sides etc i wouldnt want others who have ordered less to have to foot my bill, im always the guy whos ordered the most aswell so id rather pay for my own

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Skaffa1987@reddit

Pay what i ordered.

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invaderjournal@reddit

Pay for what you ordered generally.

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FarIndication311@reddit

There's normally a couple of designated drivers, so no alcohol for them. A mix of some people wanting starters, some wanting desert, some just a main. It's normally the same people who do want x or don't want y. Some people who never drink alcohol. So much variety it seems really unfair to split the bill evenly in most of the situations I find myself in. Everyone I know just tots up what they ordered and pays for what they had, takes a couple of seconds. It's only easier for the restaurant to split it evenly. Especially when you have friends who go out of their way to have a cheap night, just feels unfair. The alternative is someone eyeing up that expensive steak, but not ordering it, as they know they can afford it but don't want to charge the rest of the group for a meal that's double the price, and vice versa! Appreciate some people will just go with the path of least resistance though.

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icedcoffeeblast@reddit

I'll pay for what I ordered because there will always be someone who goes "oh, we're splitting it so I'll just order the gold steak, since it'll be cheaper"

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steveinstow@reddit

Split unless someone has starters/dessert and others dont.

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ConflictOfEvidence@reddit

Always just split because I'm old enough to have eliminated all dicks from my life and only dine with normal people.

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jlo1989@reddit

Depends on how the order goes. If everyone gets a starter, a main and a dessert, it's generally a "split the bill" job. If there's one or two who have massively out-ordered others, they can cover their own. It's not like it's hard to do now with the way the full bill is generally stored digitally.

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LoadedGull@reddit

Hold on a minute, am I supposed to leave the house??

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Different-Use-5185@reddit

Used to be a split the bill kinda guy until I went to a birthday meal when I turned 21 at a posh steakhouse and everyone had three courses and bottles of wine and cocktails were flowing… I was a broke minimum wage worker so had the cheapest option on the menu (a very good burger btw but cost £40!) and was driving so drank coke and they insisted we split the bill which meant they wanted me to pay £170 as my share…fuck that.

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JimCoo1@reddit

Split the bill. Don’t take the piss. Taking the piss (chateaubriand v. Lasagne)?? Damn straight it’s pay for what I ate.

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Naxilus@reddit

Whatever one I get to pay less with

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George9816@reddit

Me and my mates always pay for what we order we have always done this. It just saves us from working it out or if one persons meal is way more so it’s just simpler for us

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angelesdon@reddit

At this stage of our lives, me and my friends are all working adults and just split the bill. 20-year-old me who was on a budget would pay for what I ordered. I try to be sensitive though, if i'm with someone who I know is on a budget then they should just pay for what they ordered.

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mehchu@reddit

It totally depends, went out a couple weeks ago we had roughly the same and split it evenly. Went out last week and I had a starter and more expensive main when nobody else did and we paid per person.

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Flashy_Jacket_8427@reddit

Depends, if it's 2-4 people I'd split evenly. Any more and I'm not paying for Susan to slosh cocktails whilst I drink sparkling water

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itsheadfelloff@reddit

Depends on my friend group but generally I'd split it unless someone's seriously taking the piss.

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Ok-Bag3000@reddit

Split the bill......always. The people I go out with where this scenario would arise I.e. a meal and not just out for drinks are all long standing friends of 15+ years anyway. I know them well enough to know that if one of them orders a steak and a mai tai, they're not taking the piss it's just what they fancied having. I don't mind covering that as a one off because I know that they'd do the same for me and at the end of the day it equates to probably an extra £2 for me......no great shakes. We have one friend that is as tight as a mouses waistcoat and always wants to 'pay for what they had', even when everyone agrees to split the bill, they'll slyly only put in enough to cover their food. I don't care, again it's only an extra couple of quid for the rest of us. And the rest of us all know what's happened, who it is, and that they're a bit of a dick with that sort of thing. Oh well, life's too short we all move on.

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memberflex@reddit

It depends which decade we’re in at the time

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InfiniteFuture3139@reddit

Split the bill I try to avoid going out with people who calculate everything. 6 people out split the bill by 6, it usually balances itself out.

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vacri@reddit

If I'm with people who are scrambling for money, I'll 'pay what I ordered' plus a little bit. If I'm with folks on a good wicket, I'll just split. If someone is scrambling for money, a tenner that may not mean much for me might be stressing for them. But if folks are fine for money, then I'd rather not have the headache of sorting through the bill.

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Gold-Psychology-5312@reddit

As a non drinker I usually opt for pay what I had but sometimes I'll have a more expensive option like a steak so I'll just half it and it works out similar.

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Sothangel@reddit

Split it if everyone's had roughly the same stuff - main meal and a few drinks, makes it easy and a few quid either way is no biggie If someone's had a starter instead of a main or some have had desserts as well, better for correct amounts.

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breakbeatx@reddit

I’d say 99% of the time we pay for what we order, generally I find there’s always someone for example who doesn’t drink and it’s not fair to expect them to split a bill containing expensive alcohol, but it er say all had a Sunday roast and shared bottles of wine then fair. I got burnt when young and fairly inexperienced in group dining, me and my friend were working minimum wage jobs in London and a ‘friend’ who was on a good salary ordered ‘some things for the table to share’ then at the end wanted to split the bill, like WTF no I don’t want to split the cost of a bunch of food I didn’t want and didn’t order

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Lunchy_Bunsworth@reddit

Depends on who I am eating with. Friends and family its usually split the bill. However I normally get told to pay less as I do not drink alcohol. Works colleagues you will always get at least one who takes the mickey and thinks they can order expensive drinks etc and get everyone to pay towards them in which case its pay for what you ordered.

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Odd_Ninja5801@reddit

If I order more than anyone else in the party, I wouldn't want them to have to pay extra to cover what I've consumed. And I wouldn't want to have a meal with anyone else that doesn't feel the same way. So it's pay for what you eat for me, always.

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TempUser9097@reddit

I alway, always ask and suggest we pay for what we each order. The reason being, I'm a 250lb amateur powerlifter, and I eat at least twice the amount of everyone else at the table. It's not unusal for me to order two starters, two mains and two sides, and two large pints of soda. When I first came to the UK this whole "go Dutch" thing really annoyed me, because it meant I felt uncomfortable ordering enough food to actually fill me up. So if I went out for a meal with coworkers, this would normally mean splitting from the group after lunch, sprinting to McDonalds and grabbing a couple of cheeseburgers or something :) Nowadays, I just don't give a fuck. I'll offer to pay my share, I'll point out that I ate more than anyone else, and then let the group decide what they want to do as a result. The only other scenario that sometimes happens is if me and my mates go out for a steak. In which case, everyone is ordering a big portion (400+ gram steaks), and so my order is on par with everyone else. Except they will then go and load up on alcohol, and I don't drink. So I AGAIN have to ask that we pay individually because I'm not paying an extra 30 quid for your half bottle of wine and cocktail.

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ImaginaryAcadia4474@reddit

Split it. It comes back around. Sometimes I have a drink or eat steak, sometimes I don’t drink and have a cesar salad

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lampypete@reddit

I’m particular about what I eat and drink so it’s what I ordered and I’ll chip in for the tip. Same with rounds in pubs, I’ll just buy my own

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Zealousideal_Rule675@reddit

I’m a pay for what I ordered guy ever since going out for a Chinese with my ex and a lot of her friends and one woman ordered 6 bottles of wine for the table as a non drinker I wasn’t going to be touching it. I got given the finger by a few of them as I drove away at the end of the night.

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jelly10001@reddit

Depends on what the price difference is. As a meat eater, I don't want my veggie friends having to pay significantly more than me every time we go out to eat. But if the difference is only a couple of quid, then we'll split the bill evenly.

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AssuredAttention@reddit

Always and only pay for yourself

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nibblatron@reddit

my friends often order multiple pitchers of alcohol, i dont drink so im not paying for that. but if its lunch or theres no pitchers involved id split it

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OrganizationOk5418@reddit

Split, unless that is unreasonable ask for one or more of your parry.

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sarah_doyle_cd@reddit

Depends which is more. I'd want to make sure that I've always paid my way.

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pm_me_your_amphibian@reddit

Split it or more commonly these days one of us will just get the whole bill and someone else will get it another time.

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Ohyeahiseenow@reddit

I just pay for everything, every time. As I'm fucking rolling in it!

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deluxetrivialgalaxy@reddit

Me and ally friend are 100% pay for what you ordered. No shame whatsoever in whipping out calculators out when the bill comes. My family are a split the bill though and we always fall out because my brother has three kids, me and my husband have none and my parents always want to split the bill three ways 😂😂

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PigletAlert@reddit

I don’t drink alcohol or eat as much as most other people so I am a firm pay for what you order. My bill is usually 1/3 of everyone else’s, if it is more closely matched I’ll split but I don’t tend to go out with bill splitters.

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Desperate_Demand4911@reddit

I agree we always split the bill it's never an issue except with 1 of our so called friends. His name is Zaf. If someone ripped you off we would say they did a Zaf on you because he had a habit of forgetting his wallet at home or bringing his wallet but it was the wrong wallet. He once went out to get his wallet from his car, the car we were supposed to go home in, & never came back he made up some excuse about his Mrs almost dying or something...we eventually got him back we went out to eat at Tamarind in Mayfair & as 3 out of 4 of us smoked we went out to have a cigarette after we had desserts. Zaf didn't smoke, trust me we ate like Kings & left him with the bill we casually walked off the receptionist did ask us about the bill but we told her our friend was treating us tonight. We got into our car & before we got onto Park Lane Zaf was ringing & texting," Guys where are u, I left my wallet at home", we couldn't stop laughing all the way back to Birmingham. We never heard from or saw Zaf ever again.

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Cblakeanders@reddit

I am always split the bill a fee quid either way will balance out .. but I will chip in extra if I know I had something more expense as I would not want ill will among friends or acquaintances or if i would maybe pay the lot in certain groups where who ever invites pays most of the time normally . I do remember some years ago ... I went to a Japanese restaurant with two friends and a third friend who was introducing us to a new partner.. this person Is someone who has forgotten a wallet, been in the toilet for their round, took people out to a bar that was cash only with no cash.... and so on (nice enough dependent enough guy to make up for it alot of the time, he would help you move house you ask would help) sooo anyway in the Japanese restaurant there were some bento box esque meals which me and the other dinners got .... they ordered an octopus and a whole shit done of other things. I thought I would not split this bill no way I had two sapporos and a 12£ meal. They left and settled their part of the bill ... no tip card transaction for about 30 quid which would not have even covered it on a split and no tip! You get stung every now and then and I started life pot washing and waiting tables and always tip so that was a bigger hit for me as this was pre card tips

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Gazmeister_Wongatron@reddit

Many years ago a couple of friends and I went out for dinner with a couple who we had become newly acquainted with. My friends and I usually just split the bill equally, but the new couple made it quite clear from the start they were just going to pay for what they ordered. Fair enough. Bill comes out at the end. My friends and I put in for what we ordered in cash, plus some extra for a tip. The girl in the couple didn't have any cash on her so said she would pay the bill in full by card and took the cash with her. She literally paid the remainder of the bill minus the cash we put in, which meant she actually underpaid her and her husband's share, plus she absorbed the extra money we had intended for a tip. These days if someone wants to pay for what they ordered, we ask them to get a completely separate bill for themselves.

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Ohyeahiseenow@reddit

It's ok mate, there's therapy for things like this. You WILL get though this!

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catlaywer@reddit

Generally split the bill, but if someone is not drinking alcohol they don't pay for it (a meal without alcoholic drink is significantly cheaper usually)

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Howthehelldoido@reddit

Pay for my shit. Unless I'm with close friends, then it's pay whatever. I've been stung by wankers eating steaks and smashing wine, then saying we're splitting the bill.

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Fragrant-Western-747@reddit

Why are you going out to dinner with wankers?

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Howthehelldoido@reddit

That's a really fair question. I'm in the Military. Occasionally get stuck on a night out with a couple of pricks in the group. And you know how the saying goes, you hope there is atleast one, because otherwise the chances are that it's you.

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Fragrant-Western-747@reddit

Then in your situation I would do exactly the same, pay for own shit. But it’s effectively a work dinner, why isn’t the Lt Col or 2LT paying?

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Howthehelldoido@reddit

Just the way it is, everyone pays there way. I generally go out with a group ranging from LT CDR down to AB. The higher ups easily forget that their wage is sometimes 3x as much as the new 18 YO lad. But it's what it is. I'm happy to call bullshit on these situations and sort the lads out, as I've been them and to afaird to say otherwise and get absolutely rinsed to pay for some officers meal.

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criddleburger@reddit

If it's a work thing, I would pay for my own and add some tip because I don't drink and on past occassion i have been in the same situation where I have ended up paying for cocktails and sides and extras , but if it was a 2 people meal, I would most definitely split the bill .

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PassiveTheme@reddit

Used to always be a "pay for what you ordered" kinda guy, as I got older, especially with my good friends, we became "split it and it'll balance out", but now I live in Canada where they (generally) are really good at splitting the bill without everyone having to work out their share (they record your orders per seat/person rather than as a table). I can go out for a meal with a group of friends where one person just has a drink, one person gets 8 pints and a plate of chips, and everyone else gets a couple of beers and a meal, and there'll be no drama when the bill comes - they ask you "together or separate" and if you choose separate, you all pay for whatever you had, plus your own tip (unfortunately tipping culture is similar to America's, despite waiters earning a fair wage).

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Unfair-Cheetah8788@reddit

My friends and I are usually one person pays for everyone and we take it in turns

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BNI_sp@reddit

You have to earn the trust to split the bill.

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zah_ali@reddit

I feel a lot of people take the piss if you split the entire bill. Pay for what you ordered - that would be the case in normal situation so why should this differ?

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andyofredditch@reddit

Pay for what I’ve bought. I remember going out with a group of about 10 of us. I only knew a couple (others were friends of friends). All had similar meals. Drinks wise, I had a pint. They ordered 6/7 bottles of between them. I didn’t touch a drop of wine. Bill was split. Unless we all have similar (meal and a drink), I’ll never split the bill. I’ll pay for mine only.

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propaROCKnROLLA@reddit

If it’s clear at the start then fine. I’m generally fine with splitting the bill but I had a tiff with some friends and mutual friends last time we went out for someone’s birthday. Went for a curry, everyone was drinking 4-6 pints and I would rather drink after food so had a couple. I’m also not a big curry fan so went basic where others went all out. It was only at the end when they said about splitting the bill and although I’m not short of the £20 extra, I felt like it was muggy. I said I’d pay £15 extra but that’s it. It sounds petty and probably is, but I just felt I had to stand my ground on principle. One of the guys went funny about it, saying he paid more, I pointed out he still got a great deal as he probably drank more than anyone. I made a point of getting the half of the group that was with me a round at the next bar. I’m fine spending cash, but I want to do it on my terms, not forced into it.

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javaJunkie1968@reddit

We do separate checks

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33_pyro@reddit

Pay for the shit you ordered. It takes 2 minutes to work out what you owe. People here acting like it's some terrible imposition to do anything other than split the bill evenly. People who want to split are usually trying to get out of paying too much at the expense of everyone else.

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NemiVonFritzenberg@reddit

It depends on the friend group and circumstance.

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SneezlesForNeezles@reddit

Separate, solely because I have a knack of choosing the most expensive item on the menu. I’m a huge fan of seafood/shellfish and those tend to come at a premium. I’m not expecting anyone else to pay for my expensive ass taste. Plus I like beer. When my vegan friend goes for a £9 risotto and a sparkling water and I go for the £23 sea bass and beer, shit adds up fast. Stick my husbands mid expensive taste and wine into the equation and we are absolutely paying for what we ate!

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uncannypasta@reddit

Split if everyone else is ordering similar and drinking similar amounts. If not, then definitely pay for what you had.

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MiddleAgeCool@reddit

100% split the bill unless agreed beforehand or if someone has only had a starter / side salad. If someone has something stupidly expensive, the norm in our group is for them to make up the difference (ish) with a few round of drinks afterwards. If we go out for dinner and you're the type of person who asks for the menu to work out to the penny what you've eaten then I won't eat with you again. I go out for food for a social thing, not to do math at the end of it.

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biffo120@reddit

I just eat what i want and throw in more than enough to cover mine/wifes...let everyone else decide what to do with it, if they insist on equal split i just tell them to leave for tip, if they just want to make up the rest, also cool. I wouldn't likely be sitting with people who i would be concerned about etiquette, if it were random strangers the meal would likely be free.

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StationFar6396@reddit

Split the bill. I don't drink, so often carry the drinkers, but thats a small price to pay for good company. Lifes too short.

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Silver-Article9183@reddit

If everyone has relatively the same amount, split. If someone's taking the piss, pay what you had. I've been burned too many times.

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Bloody-smashing@reddit

Split the bill but generally in my group of friends we all order the same sort of value of meals. If one person isn’t drinking they pay less.

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Lunaspoona@reddit

Pay for myself. I am a fussy eater and don't drink alcohol. I often end up with a bowl of chips and either a soft drink or water, occasionally dessert. My bill is a fraction of the others. If I ate/drank similarly to others then I'd be happy to split as it would average out eventually, but currently If I were to split I would always be paying way more than my share. My friends are happy to pay for themselves too, and for work meals, I made it clear I would only be paying for myself. As boring as it makes me sound, I am a single person living alone, and I wouldn't be able to afford to eat out at all if I were constantly overpaying.

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Broccoli--Enthusiast@reddit

Just split it This actually happened tonight with them trying to pay what that had and fucking it up, I paid about £10 more that ate out of annoyance when they realised, because who the fuck has time for that shit when there are 10 people and baoit 30 things on the bill

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madnasher@reddit

Usually one of us will get the food, the other will get the drinks and tip. Then the next time we switch

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PoliticsMemeSupreme@reddit

IF you take the piss, its on you. Otherwise I dont mind splitting, fairly often ill just pay for the whole thing

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elljaypeps14@reddit

I would rather pay for what I ordered, not because I don't want to contribute but I'm a greedy bugger and like theore expensive things and don't feel fair making everyone else split it.

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JeffSergeant@reddit

Normally we're 'well get this, you get it next time' people.

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Resident-Stevel@reddit

I went for a meal quite few years ago, and had just a main and a dessert and a couple of soft drinks as I was driving. One of the people who organised it had been ordering extra bottles of wine for the table, extra sides etc, of which I didn't have any of, and got annoyed when I said I was only paying for mine and my gfs as the difference was about £20 more than what I'd eaten (I wasn't on a massive wage either). These days unless someone has taken the absolute piss, then I'm happy to split the bill.

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jimmyuk@reddit

I normally pay for the table. Im in a relatively fortunate position of being able to do that. I hate the end of the evening being people cracking out a calculator, or deciding how it’s going to be split, or the server taking ages walking around taking payment. I normally just slope off to the bathroom and grab the bill. I appreciate the position I’m in. And my friends normally pick up a drink or two for me at the next place.

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Martipar@reddit

Split. In general the people i eat with order from the middle ground of the menu, people aren't ordering lobster or just a salad and they drink about the same so it's probably no more than £5 either way when we eat out.

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BackupChallenger@reddit

I don't want to take advantage, so most of the time I would suggest whatever is less beneficial to me. Unless someone else went over the top with ordering.

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bewildered_83@reddit

Pay for what you ordered. None of us are particularly well off as we mostly work in the public sector

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Chardan0001@reddit

What I ordered and then tip. I have found however some people reduce their amount based on the tip I leave.

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poshbakerloo@reddit

I always just split it, if everyone knows that's the plan in advance then no one orders cheap things and it's fair

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BeetleCosine@reddit

Pay for what you order. Preserve the friendship.

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Ordinary-Hat5379@reddit

"I'll stay on my own"

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ChancesOfABus@reddit

Me and my friends are not exactly hard up but we are all in Maths based areas and pay for our own, mainly because we have already totalled our share by the end of ordering. It works for us as some don’t drink, some order simpler/cheaper meals as veggie or vegan, etc.

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NowoTone@reddit

Living in Germany now, it’s so much easier. The waiter will ask _separately or together_ and then either give you the full bill or each person pays them individually. No fuss, no quarrel, you pay what you order and you can order what you want without worrying that you overpay or that others have to subsidise your dry aged steak.

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Spottyjamie@reddit

This was asked last week

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VSuzanne@reddit

I split the bill now I'm okay and have more money, just because it's easier. But if someone wants to just pay for what they ordered that's fine too. And they certainly should if they take the piss like your colleague.

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FourEyedTroll@reddit

The only time I've eaten out and we did split the bill was when it was a fixed offer that we all went in for (eg. £7.99 ea. for an option from a select menu, with one free glass of beer/cider etc.), so effectively it would have been the same as individually paying anyway. Bottom line splitting the bill is unfair on the cheaper person who has to subsidise the more expensive person in the group. Like your vegetarian friend who has the halloumi salad having to subsidise the twat who orders the sirloin steak. F*** that shit.

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ChairMiddle3250@reddit

I'm a pay what I ordered person, purely because I know I usually order more (drinks specifically). If who I'm with wants to split I make sure they're ok with that because otherwise I feel really bad

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NaomiBK29@reddit

I don’t drink so I’m happy to split but not when the whole table have been drinking cocktails and wine all night. If I ordered an extra side or a more expensive main, I wouldn’t expect others to pay for me. I don’t understand the mentality of racking up a big bill and getting others to pay more to cover it but that’s just my opinion.

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fergie_89@reddit

If it's a group pay for what we order. If it's me and a mate I'll pick it up then they pay next time, easy.

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fergie_89@reddit

If it's a group pay for what we order. If it's me and a mate I'll pick it up then they pay next time, easy.

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Smooth-Wait506@reddit

Here goes a big long-ass explanation... yadda yadda if its workmates, in particular, my current workmates, we're splitting the bill and I want an agreement in blood up front... else they're digging my fork out of their eyeball  tl/dr it depends on the relationship of the people in the group

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dadreflexes@reddit

We tend to split the bill in my friendship group as we all order roughly the same thing - however I’ve quit drinking so don’t pay for alcohol. It’s pretty easy

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BuBBles_the_pyro@reddit

You never played card roulette? Everyone puts their card on a plate and the waiter chooses a card and that person pays for everything! Played it once with family and I lost, they have never wanted to play it again.

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liseusester@reddit

I earn a decent amount and have a healthy level of disposable income. If I’m dining with people in the same bracket, I just split the bill. If I or someone else have had something extravagant we chuck extra money in to cover it. If I am out with people who have less disposable income, we pay for what we each had.

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cappsy04@reddit

I was out a few weeks ago, with a bunch of English guys (I'm Scottish). Went to dinner and most ordered wine (I didn't have any), I had a main, one drink and a side, and they also ordered a starter. They wanted to split but I refused, because it was £30 more than what mines should have cost. In the end they all split and I paid the remaining amount, which actually made it £6 cheaper for me. I felt like the stereotypical tight Scotsman. I was honestly so raging inside because I felt like I was probably being seen as tight and difficult, I normally would split the bill but that was too much. Went out for dinner a few nights ago with them and it was sharing plates and I happily split the bill.

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SomeHSomeE@reddit

My default is splitting as are my friends but if I'm with a group that I'm not sure I'll normally clarify beforehand so everyone knows. My view is that sometimes you "win" (you had the more expensive items) and sometimes you "lose" (you had the cheaper items). If there's an obvious disparity e.g. one person didn't drink or one person had 3 courses and the lobster then the split can be adjusted up or down by a few quid for that person.

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Emilempenza@reddit

That's not really true though, the same people "win" every time, as its almost always the same people who order way more than everyone else. Usually the same people who quickly declare we should just split the bill. You know who they are before you even get to the restaurant.

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hyperdistortion@reddit

In my youth, it’s always be a “pay for what you ordered” approach. Mostly ‘cause as a teen and uni student, it seemed ‘fair’ to cover one’s own share of the bill. Now I’m older, have more disposable income, etc. it becomes a “divide evenly across the table” approach, as it saves time and effort for all concerned. Rare exceptions where someone has had something that hugely skews the overall bill - in either direction, so pays a bit more (or less) to account for that. Ultimately I take the view that unless you *really* can’t afford to, we can all afford to subsidise our mates for the sake of a few quid, and it’ll average out over time - overpay one time, underpay another, etc. And if you or your mates really won’t do that - how good friends even are you?

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exactly2thepoint@reddit

Always split it. I keep suggesting card roulette but not everyone is up for it

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pixelunicorns@reddit

For me it differs per group, friends have always paid separate except for really special occasions like big birthdays, graduation, wedding, etc. With families, usually the dad's pay, but since us kids are now all earning a decent wage we now take turns. My dad and I will often pay for a meal out each for the family whenever I visit. It's only when it's the five of us and usually I let my Dad know I'd like to pay. Sometimes my parents insist it's their treat and if extended family members are coming we usually just pay for ourselves.

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BonzaiTitan@reddit

Almost always just split it, life's too short. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Sometimes you're with someone who takes the piss, and that marks them as the kind of person I'm really not interested in hanging out with. Work related meals out can introduce an awkward dynamic, because you're usually not in a situation there where you can tell people you're with to get fucked. But I get around that by the fact I've got a business credit card and I'll just call it a work expense (which it is) and I'm the boss so who's going to argue. As some others have said ITT, it does depend tho. If I was with someone who was significantly less well off than me, I'd do whatever was best for them, and possibly offer to pay outright for it myself for family or very close friends. Have to say, surprised how many people are just going for a blanket "pay for my own" in all circs. Bunch of miserable buggers.

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Remarkable-Ad155@reddit

>Almost always just split it, life's too short. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Sometimes you're with someone who takes the piss, and that marks them as the kind of person I'm really not interested in hanging out with so that's a one time affair. Correct answer here - if somebody goes overboard and doesn't acknowledge it, I'll rarely kick up a fuss but I'll make a mental note to never invite that person out again. Regarding drinking, I think there's a reasonable expectation that people will have a couple of drinks when you're having a meal out. Unless they've ordered the champagne and finished off with the vintage port then just stuck it up, tbh, if you're that skint/money conscious you order the cheapest thing on the menu and drink tap water then you're evidently only there under sufferance anyway so why bother? Just stay home next time.

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BonzaiTitan@reddit

> if you're that skint/money conscious you order the cheapest thing on the menu and drink tap water then you're evidently only there under sufferance anyway so why bother? Someone else in this thread posted about doing *exactly* this. And yeah, my first thought was "why bother?" The most totally ott example I ever had of this when there was four of us, and one insisted on calculating exactly what everybody had. For some reason, she had post-it notes on her and wrote it all out on that. Ironically, she's probably one of the wealthiest people I know (highly paid job, large property porfolio across multiple countries), but was the stingiest about paying. Takes all sorts. But ultimately that doesn't feel like a fun night out, sitting opposite someone sipping water and ordering as little as possible who then springs a maths quiz on you. So I didn't meet up in a restaurant with her involved again. Nice person, met her several times since and dinner parties around houses and whatnot, but why just no interest in sharing that type of experience with them.

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Remarkable-Ad155@reddit

People are funny about money. Means different things to different people and, judging by this thread, a lot of people don't seem to grasp what you are actually doing my going out to eat with a group of friends.

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tropicsandcaffeine@reddit

The only time we have done "split the bill" is when we went out for pizza for a relative's birthday (the relative of course did not pay a thing!). Otherwise it is you pay for whatever you ordered and add to the tip.

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HolyBacon95@reddit

Having been screwed over before I'll never split the bill ever again. I'll pay for what I ordered. Nothing more or nothing less.

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FilDaFunk@reddit

I'm 25 and it's very much a pay for what you got type of world for me.

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Right_Temperature378@reddit

That’s obviously an exploitative person. Hope you didn’t go for dinners with them after that. I usually suggest we share the food equally and each pay separately the drinks. But if I feel everyone ordered more or less the same, I am happy to split equally. It’s usually obvious when someone had less than the others, so it’s fairer to leave the decision to this one person.

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Fragrant-Western-747@reddit

Usually someone in the group will pick up the whole tab with “you get it next time”. And I get it next time. Otherwise it’s split the bill evenly.

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younevershouldnt@reddit

You were not the only person who noticed that, I assure you.

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Limbo365@reddit

I'm a pay for what you ordered person I don't drink, tend to order extras on my food which I wouldn't expect someone else to foot the bill for my extras or sides

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NCC-2000-A@reddit

Pay for what you've ordered No drama No fuss

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PeterGriffinsDog86@reddit

I'm a pay for what you order person cause i don't want to feel uncomfortable about what i order and i don't want to be thinking about what other people are ordering.

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StevieFrog@reddit

Really depends on who we’re out with, for quite a lot of my friends none of us drink do we generally split the bill. But when a few people order drinks it can really add up on the bill and then we split. Same if someone wants starter, main & dessert when the rest just want a main, it’s not fair on the group

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Crumblebeast@reddit

Split the bill, always. Otherwise it’s just petty. BUT: 1. If it’s a work do with senior and junior colleagues (and for some reason the company isn’t paying for it, red flag right there) then more senior people put in more than the juniors, obv. Normally this works out as share the food costs but the drinks are covered by seniors only. 2. If it’s with mates and someone is taking the piss by ordering the fillet steak or cocktails, tell them not to be a cunt.

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CPH3000@reddit

No, don't split the bill always. The people who call this petty are always the ones petrified of what other people think of them.

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casuallybrowsing21@reddit

If we have very similar priced food and drink I’m a split the bill kind of person. If the person has had alcohol and more courses than me. I’m definitely pay for what I had. Of course sometimes my budget has made me decide what to eat as cheap as possible so I’d be pay for what I had in those instances too as I have no other financial choice.

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FallingOffTheClock@reddit

Usually pay for what we order but it's just always been that way, no issue splitting the bill on the occasions we do (someone's birthday we might all split the bill including their portion).

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almalauha@reddit

I pay for what I eat. I hardly ever drink alcohol, and I don't eat animal products, so usually what I eat/drink costs a lot less than everyone else's. I can't afford to subsidise other people's drinking habits. Sorry, not sorry.

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ConsequenceApart4391@reddit

Depends. If everyone orders similar pricing stuff and we’re not on a super tight budget then yeah split. However if I order a burger and water and someone orders steak and wine then it’s pay for what you had.

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CPH3000@reddit

I'm a non-drinker. I'm wary of people who order 3 bottles of wine, three courses, and want me to contribute towards it.

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umognog@reddit

Really can go in many ways: Some friends we pick up the tab in rounds i.e. this meal is mines, next is yours. Nobody really takes the piss out the setup, these are good honourable people. Other friends who prefer to split bills, I insist on pay for what you have as I don't drink. My £3.50 unlimited pepsi refill Vs the rest of the table £90 wine bill? Fuck off.

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FireWhiskey5000@reddit

Split the bill. I’m a firm believer that across my life I will over pay as much as I under pay and it will even itself out. Not with each individual person, but just across life. That said, I won’t get into a fight if someone really wants to pay what they ordered. And if I’ve ordered something significantly more expensive I might offer to pay more.

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Affectionate_Yard327@reddit

Generally a pay for what I order type thing unless out with very good friends and we are all eating around the same price point and sharing wine in which case we just split the bill.

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fat_alchoholic_dude@reddit

It depends on who you are going out with. If it's good mates then just split. Colleagues or other twats just pay for your own.

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b0neappleteeth@reddit

Everyone here advocating for splitting equally are the ones who drink 5 cocktails and order steak

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No_Masterpiece_3897@reddit

Pay for what I ordered, but that's pretty much the norm for most people round my area. You work out your share stick the money on the table , and maybe throw in a quid or two for a tip. But many places will sort out the bill for you, you say the table number, they big up the order, you tell them what you had and you pay for it. The idea of splitting the bill equally is not one that I have ever really seen or heard of someone doing in real life. It's a bit different from getting a round in , or paying for someone else, some meals can be double the price of others. If you're ordering a £6 salad , you'd be annoyed at the thought of forking out to pay for not just your own meal, but someone else £25 surf and turf.

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b0neappleteeth@reddit

I’m a tap water and margarita pizza kinda gal so my food is always extremely cheap. I’m not paying for people who get 2-3 alcoholic drinks, a main and sides

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Middle-Hour-2364@reddit

I'm a fat bastard who drinks too much when I'm out so I pay for what I've ordered

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Yacht_Amarinda@reddit

I’m a split the bill guy, but one of my aquaintances that comes on the nights out always without fail chooses the most expensive starter, main, dessert and wine. He’s a big guy around 30 stone and thinks it’s totally acceptable and that everyone enjoys his joviality….. We’ve set up a new WhatsApp friends group without him in it as a result as he’s got very very thick skin and won’t take a hint.

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Coocoocachoo1988@reddit

I always prefer pay my own. If I've only spent a tenner on a main then I don't really want to subsidise someone else, but also if I spend £30 I'd feel equally as uncomfortable with someone else paying more for me.

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X0AN@reddit

I've alway been a split the bill kind of guy, and always cover the birthday boy/gal. If one of my mates goes over we don't care, because at some other time it may be me or another of the group doing so, so it balances out. Couldn't be dealing with the weirdos who insist on paying for what they had. Life's too fucking short to be dicking about about who owes 12.38 and who owes 12.83. Just split the bill dummy.

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ReplicatedSun@reddit

We usually do pay for what you ordered as it's not really fair if I'm ordering steak and our friends are ordering chicken skewers or something. It's pretty much always my bill that is the more expensive. First time we went out I'd suggested just splitting the bill because I didn't take note of what other people had ordered and the look of horror on their faces is forever etched into my memory lol

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AdministrativeShip2@reddit

Generally, I know who I'm having a meal with very well. We put everything on one card, without a tip as restaurants are crap at maths. If people want to tip in cash they can (as regardless of laws staff probably won't see card tips) Then we bank transfer our own spend to the person who paid. If I know one member of our group has had a bad month or is short of cash ill let them know, no need to pay it back yet (implying ever) saves face, helps a mate out and I've been treated to meals, tickets and trips enough over the years that things balance out.

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Grezzz@reddit

Generally just split unless there's a significant price difference. If you've ordered significantly more than the average you should volunteer to pay the extra, nobody should have to call you out on it. If somebody has ordered significantly less, bring it up and give them they opportunity to pay less. That way they don't have to look like a cheapskate by bringing it up themselves.

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Westsidepipeway@reddit

Really depends who I'm with and whether people have been ordering vastly different levels of alcohol/food.

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Apidium@reddit

Pay for what you order. Every time. I'm poor, my family are all poor, mates are all poor and the general area is not exactly rich. Folks order only what they can sometimes to the penny. Just splitting it is not feesible and is stressful for everyone.

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David1897@reddit

>Happy to split the bill, but not if you're blatantly taking the piss This is the way. I'll be honest, it's never usually an issue as I don't go out for meals with folk that take the piss.

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Cherrycola250ml@reddit

Pay for what I’ve ordered, splitting the bill makes zero sense to me and never has… I’m not cheap either, I’d happily buy a friend lunch, why would you split the bill and possibly pay extra for nothing?

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_DeanRiding@reddit

Unless you all ordered things within about £5 of each other (which is quite frequent tbf), then it's pay what you order.

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CrabbyGremlin@reddit

I use to split but now I don’t drink and the fact drinks are ten pound a pop o don’t. I’m saving so much by not drinking I’m not paying an extra 20+ for someone else’s drink no matter how much money I have. Unless it’s their birthday of a celebration of that person in some way.

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justjokecomments@reddit

Happy to split the bill unless you're taking the absolute piss then we'll get what we paid for. If it's the odd drink or something no worries but if I rock up and get a sandwich and lemonade, I'm probably not fronting half of your steak and 4 pints.

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Astrid_Sinner@reddit

I don’t drink alcohol so not really keen to pay others drink.

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jdh3342@reddit

We have always just split it. Though now they have kids who are old enough to have a meal with us that will start to change.

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JackSpyder@reddit

Both. Depends on the group. Smaller groups of earning peers buying about the same with a few quid difference we'll often just split for convenience. But happy with either. Blive had times as a student where we've split and I'm skint subsidising the higher earners big spending when I went for cheapest items. That is a real kick in the teeth so I'm always aware of that with the group and tend to chip in more or cover tips etc

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twittermob@reddit

I pay my own, partly because I like a swallow when I'm out so I don't need to worry about ordering too many pints that others are going to have to pay for and also there's also someone that takes the piss.

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everyoneelsehasadog@reddit

I'll do pay for what you ordered if I've had more (by cost) but I'll be fine to split if I've had less. But I know of all my friends I'm the only one who works private sector and not charity / public body so it doesn't bother me. If it's my in laws, I prefer pay for your order but of course they prefer split the bill.

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dazed1984@reddit

Depends who with, friends split as no one’s taking the piss, colleagues or others I don’t know to well pay for what I ordered.

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Vyseria@reddit

Pay for what you ordered. Only exception is if you ordered the same price thing and split a bottle of wine. Then it's even anyway. Everyone can get what they want that way and it's not awkward

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Throwaway3363373385@reddit

Pay for what i ordered. That is the norm in my country of origin, regardless of age and money, unless someone has a bday or an occasion, everyone pays for themselves, no 5050 splitting

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glorious_purpose51@reddit

Friends and I are around 18 - most of us are fairly broke or mostly saving for uni, but there are a couple that are super rich compared to the rest of us. To keep things fair we pay for what we ordered. I get the sentiment behind ‘split the bill without taking the piss’, but I think that pressures people to only buy completely average-priced things. Many restaurants have an option to pay for what you ordered at the table, and if not then there are apps to do it easily, so why not, you know?

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Honey-Badger@reddit

Wish the UK would do what Canada does where they do a separate bill for each person as standard

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ProfessionalMany2942@reddit

I'm more of a split the bill person but will always point out if I've had a cocktail and no one else has as I wouldn't want anyone to feel like they're paying for my drink.

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redatheist@reddit

Pay what you owe beats split the bill. If _everyone_ wants to split then great, but if _anyone_ wants to pay what they owe that wins.

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WarmTransportation35@reddit

It depends on where we are eating. If it is Indian, Chinese or anywhere we all share the food then we split evenly but pay extra or less for drinks if everyone ordered in different price ranges. If we ate the plate of food for ourselves then we pay for what we ordered. That seems to be the most fair system and people pay for what they eat.

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JabyMason@reddit

Split and as soon as anyone argues I just pay more until they shut up lol

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HRnewbie2023@reddit

Always split the bill and offer to cover anyone who looks anyway uncomfortable with the idea. I normally get to the bar first and pay the bill in total then say chip in what you want.

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glasabarn@reddit

Split, given that everyone had same amount of courses and no one went bananas on drinks.

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Bashmore83@reddit

I always go by the income of the group. If it’s with people I know are doing alright I’ll suggest an equal split. If it’s people I know are on less than me (like my parents) or people who don’t drink it’s always pay for what you order.

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JohnnyKruze@reddit

This is a subject that has really annoyed me over the years. When I was younger and poorly paid, people would say, just split the bill! I had only one drink and one course. While others had a lobster and champagne. I think if you have all had a similar meal and drinks order, split the bill. Otherwise, pay for what you've had. Some of my mates are tea total, why should they pay for everyone else's drinks?

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velos85@reddit

It depends. Most of the time I’ll just split. But if I’ve just had a side plate and everyone else has had a slap up meal I’ll just pay for mine

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nikokazini@reddit

I don’t drink. With other non-drinkers or if it’s lunch for instance, with only moderate drinking, I split. If it’s a lengthy, boozy bottles of wine/cocktails/shots situation, I quietly pay my portion + tip on my way to the loo so they (drinkers) leave me out of it.

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BrilliantOne3767@reddit

Ooh Stealth paying! Love it!

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VioletDime@reddit

Split the bill. What comes around, goes around. One time l might order expensive wine, another time maybe someone has gone large on a steak. It's all about the company of your friends and I'm not spending the time with a calculator out.

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sparklybeast@reddit

Pay for what you ordered. I usually can’t afford to subsidise other people’s meals and don’t want to impose on other people who may be in the same boat.

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booyouwhoreee@reddit

Pay for what you ordered - I don’t drink alcohol and don't particularly want to pay a premium for being the default designated driver.

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Game@reddit

If we all ate roughly equally, split the bill. If I've had wagyu kobe steak and a bottle of wine and someone else just went for a pizza and lemonade, no chance would I expect them to pay equal, so the same if I'm the one rationing etc

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Happy_Boy_29@reddit

Unless it is someone, never a group. I would trust with my life I am scrooge only interested in paying for what I order being a tee totaller.

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RelativeDefinition82@reddit

As someone who drinks wine (at usually around £10 a large glass) whilst my friends tend to drink beers (much cheaper), I pay for what I’ve ordered, it wouldn’t be fair otherwise!

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Jonography@reddit

This is one of these things that has varying answers. It’s just about reading the situation, and the people, and the circumstances. When I was younger I couldn’t afford to split the bill, but more comfortable with it being older. Majority of people that I’m eating with will be people a like and trust, so I tend not to have issues with it. However if somebody else insisted on splitting the bill after eating a starter, dessert, and a bottle of wine, I’d be really put off by them. In those situations I’m totally fine saying “you had X Y and Z so you can pay for those separately”, because if they’re so impolite not to realise, then I have no issue being direct about it. Then again, if it’s people I meet every so often it tends to balance out.

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G30fff@reddit

Split the bill and I wouldn't or notice the cost of what anyone else has

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Ok_Student_3292@reddit

I'm team pay for what you ordered because I don't drink and I avoid red meat, so I can happily have a multi-course meal in a nice-ish restaurant with multiple drinks for under a score, and when I go for a meal with drinkers who only ever get a couple glasses of wine each, my total ends up being about half of theirs.

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frankchester@reddit

Split the bill. Like you say, unless someone hasn’t been drinking or something. It’s just easier and I don’t care about the loss of a few quid.

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Tosaveoneselftrouble@reddit

Pay for what you ordered, but if possible always make that clear before you dine with the host/friend or group. I always take cash so I can swiftly pull it out, rounded up with tip included so I’m definitely paying extra, and put it down before they start debating. I’ve had too many situations where people either take the P, or even when splitting pay less as the money ends up short. “Oh I’ve got my share including 15% tip here so I don’t need to split but thanks. Feel free to deduct £45 from the total if you want to split the rest amongst yourselves.” I have had the delight of doing that and it spurring others on to say “I’ll pay for what I’ve ordered”, and the three morons who had multiple starters plus mains, dessert (lots of plates unfinished might I add) and endless drinks being brought got the shock of their lives when they realised they’d racked up easily a hundred a head and nope, we weren’t covering it this year. Arseholes.

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Organic_Armadillo_10@reddit

Pay for what you order. I've only ever really had to split bills when on group trips, and some cases they do decide to split it, but usually I manage to just pay my own stuff and they split the rest. I don't drink and can be a slightly picky eater with some things, so when I'm not eating the same value of food, it's not fair for me to be spending lots more to pay for other people's dinner. It's easier and less messy just paying your own share.

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Tseralo@reddit

I don’t drink alcohol. If people have just had a beer or two and I’ve had a few soft drinks I’ll split it. If there on wine all night we don’t.

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Zs93@reddit

I don't drink so if I'm with people who ordered similar items - I always just split the bill. The difference is usually minuscule! However sometimes I'm with friends who order a couple of bottles and they always calculate mine separately.

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hopingtocatchadream@reddit

Depends massively on the situation and who I’m out with. I have a corporate job and am a relatively high earner for my age and if I’m eating with friends who are in similar positions and we had similar meals we’ll just split it. Same situation but with friends who don’t earn as much and we’ll normally pay for ourselves as they’ll be a bit more conscious and probably order less expensive stuff. Regardless of who I’m with, if I know my share is higher I’ll say I’ll pay for my stuff.

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Glowie2k2@reddit

With the family it used to be split the bill but now some of us have kids and some don’t we now do items ordered as that’s fairer

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ABigCupidSunt@reddit

Only split with family. Every situation I've been in with friends and colleagues someone orders way more in value and wants me to subsidise their bill. Not happening.

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_cant_relate_@reddit

I’m not really bothered about price differences in meals but I don’t drink and this usually swings it to a “pay for what you had” deal for me

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Teembeau@reddit

"happy to split the bill, but not if you’re blatantly taking the piss" Pretty much. I don't care about getting down to the pennies of difference. If everyone had a main course, starter, and a few drinks, just split it. And I'm very fair about this from my own POV. If I have a nice brandy at the end of the meal and no-one else does, I throw in extra for it.

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AttersH@reddit

Bit of both. I’m not the biggest drinker, I often just have one glass of wine with a meal. And often my friends have considerably more and it adds up! In that case, I ask to pay for what I’ve eaten/drunk. Luckily my friends are very fair in that sense and don’t mind at all! But if I’ve had a similar meal & drinks, then absolutely split. I earn enough not to not worry about a bit of a difference.

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AccidentAccomplished@reddit

Depends very much on the group but I normally prefer just splitting, but with family and close friends we sometimes take turns in picking up the bill.

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SporkiePie@reddit

Pay for what I ordered. I normally have 2 courses, 1 drink of diet coke. And generally the kind of main courses I like are the cheaper options. So I’m not up for splitting the bill when the people I eat out with normally have multiple beers/wines and 3 courses. Even close friends. If we all ate and drank similarly, then sure! But I don’t think I’ve ever been to a meal where that has been the case.

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Unusual_residue@reddit

The former

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CarrotBusiness6255@reddit

Depends who I’m with to be honest.

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bluepushkin@reddit

Pay for what you ordered. I don't drink alcohol or eat meat, so my meal is always the cheapest. I'm not going to help someone pay for their 3 glasses of £12 a glass of wine and their steak. Years ago for a staff Christmas meal by bill tripled when everyone at the table decided to spilt it evenly. Never again. Luckily for me my friends all prefer to pay for their own meals aswell so it's not a problem. I'll happily grab an extra meal deal for a friend at lunch or treat them to dinner for their birthday, though.

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Pillowrice@reddit

I always pay for what I ordered. I always pay a bit extra towards the tip, but different people have different budgets etc. I am also invariably the driver so stick to soft drinks so I am not paying for others drinking wine etc too.

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royalblue1982@reddit

I'm in the school of roughly work out what you've ordered and round up to whatever makes sense. Making sure that's there's no way you could under pay. So, if I ordered a £7 starter, £16 main, two £6 beers and a £3 coffee then I would throw in £45.

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brokenbear76@reddit

For work pay for what you ate and drank, close friends/family then it's split the bill.

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Sibs_@reddit

Pay for what i've ordered except for a select few people, where our orders are comparable. If we've both had a main/drink, I don't care if theirs works out to be £1.79 more expensive than mine. I know we're close enough not to screw each other over and I'm seeing them regularly enough that it evens out over time. If i've had an extra drink for example, i'll pay my share.

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Boredpanda31@reddit

It usually deolpends who im with, but im happy to split food but pay for own drinks (if we've ordered them at the table) - simply because some of us don't drink or some drink expensive cocktails etc.

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wotugonado@reddit

Depends on who the company is. There are some that take advantage of this situation, as I've found out a few times.

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Whole-Sundae-98@reddit

Split the bill. We all order something on a similar cost anyhow.

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Mc_and_SP@reddit

Generally I split with my mates as we usually order something of similar value (we might make it up later if we pick up snacks/drinks elsewhere.)

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justabean27@reddit

We always split it even unless someone had something much more expensive than the rest of us

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FakeyName88@reddit

I’ve been out for birthday dinners where you don’t necessarily know everyone well, and a few at the end of the table have been shooting tequila, eating filet steak and then then once everyone’s paid their ‘share’ it’s been £100+ short. It’s horrible and leaves a bad taste for everyone. I’m older and wiser now, and choose my dining companions a bit more carefully. My general feeling is that when you’re out with friends, you can split the bill and it will work itself out (assuming your friends aren’t piss takers!)

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GardenCookiePest@reddit

Situational, for sure. When it’s with people I really know, have history with, it works out equitably over time. But with new folks who over-order because they know they’re gaming the night? Nope.

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soverytiiiired@reddit

It all depends in the situation. If everyone is ordering similar things then yes, split equally. If I’m driving and Sally is in the corner drinking £10 cocktails? No. Or if Steve is in the mood to treat himself by ordering the massive £40 steak…again no.

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BromleyReject@reddit

Split the bill but have a seperate bill for drinks, or split the bill and get your own drinks from the bar

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belgian-newspaper@reddit

Split but if anyone really wants to pay exactly, fine it's easy enough with cards. Whenever it was cash it was a complete pain in the arse

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TigerEmpire2022@reddit

Pay for what you order. And I say that as someone who orders a starter a main a side a dessert and 3 drinks… but I also sometimes only get a main and 1 drink. Pay for yours and they can pay for theirs

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je97@reddit

Pay for what you ordered, and I say this as the person who'd benefit most from bill splitting as I tend to spend the most in any group I'm a part of. Nobody else needs to pay for my 3 courses, one of which is the steak as well as a bottle of wine. I budget a lot to eating out, because when I do I like to go all in.

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apocoliption@reddit

Pay for your own. Always end up paying twuce the cost of my meal as others order stupid things with an assumption that itll be covered by other and not them

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sandio90@reddit

In your example with work, I am definitely paying for what I ate. I split bills with friends unless there is a glaring difference in prices of what has been ordered, and the person will always pay more.

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destria@reddit

If it's a close enough split, then I'm happy to just split as long as everyone is. Like if each person got one main meal and one drink of similar prices, I'm not quibbling over a couple quid's difference. Or if we all shared a big meal. Especially with friends who I go out with all the time, it works itself out eventually. If each person got something very different in price or some people had more drinks or more courses, then absolutely would pay just for what we each ordered.

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your-rong@reddit

I prefer to pay for what I ordered, so I don't have to worry about ordering too much.

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45MzN9G3vn@reddit

Split it if everyone has ordered a similar value. Those that ordered a fair degree more, let's say 20%+ of the average, should continue more to the nearest £5, with the benefit going toward those that ordered less than the average. Don't need a calculator, just some rough maths and honesty.

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