How do I convince my mum to let me go to a party?

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UK_muscle_86@reddit

Wait 3 years. Respect her wishes she's your mother's son.

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Puzzleheaded-Bet-119@reddit

jee and adults wonder why they miss their childhood smh

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So you want us, a group mostly made up of adults to advise you, (still technically a child) on how to go to a party where there is going to be underage drinking, no adult supervision and you intend to spend the night there; and you wonder why your Mom is strict?!? 🤦

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Appropriate-One9207@reddit

Don’t be a weapon mate

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Darkheart001@reddit

It’s not like I can stop the OP going but I’ve had two kids and worth thinking that your parents have these rules for a reason and those reasons are usually to try and look after the child’s best interests and not just be pain in the arse.

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messyfull@reddit

Haha, okay mate. The only thing strict rules did for me was make me a better liar. I suspect your kids are the same.

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Puzzleheaded-Bet-119@reddit

damn xD

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Lower_Possession_697@reddit

Go and tidy your bedroom.

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Loose_Acanthaceae201@reddit

I'm the mum of a 15yo. I'm fully aware of what happens at parties and sleepovers because *I was once fifteen myself*. If you tell your mum there won't be alcohol, she'll think you're a liar or an idiot. If you tell her there will be adults there but erm no she can't ring or text them, she'll think you're a liar who thinks she's a idiot. The more honest you can be about it, including explaining how you're going to stay safe (eg Dickhead Danny won't be there, and you're not intending to drink ~~to excess~~ and can you ring her if things get out of control), the more likely she is to think you're mature enough to go. You might also be able to negotiate a compromise, eg staying until midnight, if you approach it calmly and realistically.

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DameKumquat@reddit

This. What alcohol is likely to be there? How much weed? What other drugs? Who is likely to be shagging? Is there likely to be drama? Is Duckweed Danny hoping to break in? How will you get someone to hospital quickly if they need their stomach pumped? What contraception are you/ others on? What is your code phrase to use if you really want to be picked up ASAP but make it sound like it's your mum's fault? Prove you've thought about all that, and a parent might let you. Thing with parents, right, is not only were we 15 year olds, but we know all the other people who were even more worrying 15 year olds. And the ones who died, got injured, got raped, and the ones who just had a terrible time and people took the piss for ages after. (OK, I'm a child of the AIDS generation, and probably knew more people who ended up dead than most). Reassure us, please. (My blood pressure is OK with the eldest two being over 15, but I suspect the youngest will be terrifying...)

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Loose_Acanthaceae201@reddit

**What is your code phrase to use if you really want to be picked up ASAP but make it sound like it's your mum's fault?** All parents and teenagers should have some code for this whether for parties or just mooching around town or visiting grandma or whatever. It's definitely part of my job as mum to pretend to be the bad guy when my children have social conflicts and want backup.

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Prestigious_Sport402@reddit (OP)

yeah I might just construct a little speech about how safe I'm going to be and just leave out all the "bad" stuff

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bladefiddler@reddit

Very much depends how your parents are, but I have kids your age and I'd be fucking mortified if they ever manage half of the insane shit I did in the 90s. With all sincerity, you can be there and join in / watch without getting yourself into trouble. Like other parents have commented to you - we're not fucking stupid WE KNOW lol. Promise your mum that you'll have 2 drinks max & be home by an agreed time AND KEEP THAT PROMISE. It'll serve you well to be allowed again or to do more in future. We don't want to stop you having a good time, only to jeep you out of trouble/danger. When you do get to go, stay pretty much sober and watch what goes on then & after. Somebody will get shitfaced drunk & be ill, make a tit of themselves etc. Somebody might end up getting off with somebody they're embarrassed about afterward (depends on the crowd - my area & day it was oral or full sex, not just snogging). Whomever is hosting he party will end up in bother because something will get smashed or spilled on the carpet etc. None of this is new. Just try to be the casual bystander rather than one of the clichés.

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spik0rwill@reddit

She went to the same kind of parties you want to go to, we all did. Just be honest, stick to your promises and you might be surprised. I don't know your mum however..

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Loose_Acanthaceae201@reddit

She already knows about the bad stuff, though. *She knows*. u/BikeProblemGuy mentioned some things that have happened at parties, and it's likely your mum remembers similar stuff. **She knows**. Showing her that you've thought about it too and have worked out how to avoid the worst consequences is more reassuring than pretending this is the first ever unsupervised teenage sleepover that will have a 10pm curfew and nothing more intoxicating than hot chocolate.

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Myorangecrush77@reddit

As the parent of a 15 year old. This.

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dbxp@reddit

Best to agree to being picked up. A party and staying over is going to indicate some sort of orgy. I remember a party I went to in HS and a 12 year old girl was with 3 different guys in one night.

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sennalvera@reddit

>my mum can be quite strict with me when I go out Considering the honesty, concern and good judgement demonstrated in this post, that's completely unreasonable.

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GuybrushFunkwood@reddit

What you need is a rock hammer, a huge poster of a movie star, pillows to hide under your duvet and roughly 20 years to dig a tunnel. It may sound like a huge amount of effort but trust me when you’re 35 and you rock up to your mates house wet through and smelling slightly of sewer water you’ll have the BEST party ever!

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Sad-Garage-2642@reddit

That's a tall drink of water

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DeadlyRaptor2149@reddit

Shawshank

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Sea_Corgi_7284@reddit

You said it yourself you don’t care about being honest as long as you aren’t caught. There’s your answer my dude

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Crayon_Casserole@reddit

Asking on Reddit really emphasises the fact you're still a child.

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Houseofsun5@reddit

Consequences were for tomorrow me, today me was going.

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Meguuunn@reddit

Tomorrow me was hungover and did not care, so it was usually a future me problem after that.

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Myorangecrush77@reddit

As the parent of a 15 year old. Have a safe word with parents. Ours is ‘can you get cereal’ That means, ‘I’ve got myself into a situation I don’t like. Please rescue me’. On my part it’s no judgement; no discussion. You go and pick up child. Yes. Maybe a conversation the next day. But in the moment. Safety is paramount.

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Meguuunn@reddit

I want to say don’t lie to your mum and just be honest, but I would be a hypocrite lol. 15 year old me was going to “parties” and getting absolutely hammered most weekends. In all honesty, my mum would 100% not have let me go if she knew I was getting blackout drunk. I don’t have any specific advice, but do know that whatever we say you will still find a way to go to the party and have some drinks (because I would for sure hahahaha) but please just drink responsibly and don’t overdo it. Also maybe make sure if your mum doesn’t know, at least one adult knows what’s going on in case anyone gets ill or you need all need help. Also make sure to stay inside and do not go wondering and take any alcohol out with you. It could get you and your friends parents in a lot of trouble. I am totally not talking from experience. Not at all. *cough*

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GlitchingGecko@reddit

Any of your friends have older siblings that could fake being a parent?

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Prestigious_Sport402@reddit (OP)

that'd actually a really good idea and ima probably do it, what do I do if our parents end up meeting in person and they're like "wtf your not the person i talked to the other day??"

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peterhala@reddit

Yeah. So when she tells you she doesn't trust you, I bet you're going to do door slamming & shouting about how its SO UNFAIR... Do look in a mirror sometime.

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GlitchingGecko@reddit

Why would your parents be meeting your friends parents? Past the age of about 9, I don't think my parents ever met my friends, let alone my friends parents.

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Prestigious_Sport402@reddit (OP)

I don't know she's a bit weird like that she does it quite a lot 😂 she never meets my friends but almost always finds a way to get in contact with their parents

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Blayd9@reddit

I don't think it's weird honestly, I think it is fairly normal for a parent who cares about their child's wellbeing. As a parent now and former teenager, it is often the other parents that you are most wary of (but also that list of stuff that other commenter put is also a concern for a parent).

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GlitchingGecko@reddit

No wonder you want to get out. Personally I'd just walk out the door and say I'd be back tomorrow morning and I had my phone with me, but I clearly had a very different upbringing. If I was drunk or in trouble, I knew I could call my mum for a lift and there'd be no problem. 🤷🏻‍♂️

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Prestigious_Sport402@reddit (OP)

yeah I feel safe talking to my mum if I'm in trouble and stuff and I know she'll be fine helping me, it's just the trying to convince her to let me out in the first place

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EloquenceInScreaming@reddit

Call it a sleepover

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Prestigious_Sport402@reddit (OP)

I would, but she's just as strict, she doesn't really care what I'm doing, just as long as she is in contact with other parents and stuff...

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Lemonade_dog@reddit

My friend pretended to be another parent on the phone once. So my mum spoke to my friend and was reassured that we were having a lovely safe sleepover and not getting drunk in a field.

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BikeProblemGuy@reddit

Asking to be in contact with other parents isn't strict, that's normal. If something bad happens at this party, who is present to notice a problem, get help, call 999 etc if you're all drunk 15-year-olds? Reassuring your mother that reasonable precautions are being taken is not only going to help get you permission to go, but will keep you safe. You don't know all the bad things that can happen until you experience them. Here's a list of some bad thing that have happened at drunken parties I've been at, just to illustrate: * Strangers found out there was a party, forced their way in and refused to leave. * One of my friends had to go to hospital to get his stomach pumped because someone gave him a glass of vodka as a joke, telling him it was water. * Some idiot friends decided to make a cocktail in the washing machine, broke it and caused a flood. * Some people wanted to cook something and started a fire. * I trod on a metal hinge which lodged itself in my foot and I had to go to hospital. * A girl got drunk and went to lie down and was sexually assaulted. * A guy fell off a fire escape and had to be taken to hospital. * One of my friends died from alcohol poisoning. * Everyone left, except for one girl who was being sick in a toilet, and she was later raped. These are just off the top of my head, there's probably more. Many of these happened at parties that were just a few people hanging out, or started that way. I'm not saying all of these could happen at this party, it's just an illustration of how chaotic and unpredictable a load of drunk people can be.

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ClockworkSkyy@reddit

Respect your parents. You live with them, it's their rules. When you're of legal age you can move out and do as you please with your life. Failing that, sneak out. When eventually found out that's when you begin your emo phase lol

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