TheaterFire

If you could make rules for self checkouts what would they be?

Posted by Nice-Substance-gogo@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 723 comments

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723 Comments

PublicRelease8693@reddit

Dump self-checkout or stop people being  bullied into using them sainsburys should realise manned tills are also essential for many of their older customers 
View on Reddit #28198356

Mean_Lengthiness_852@reddit

The scanner to be as good as the manned checkouts. If the old lady in aldi can scan all my shopping faster than I can bag it. Why am I waving my strawberries around the scanner 20 times? And a minimum of half of the machines to accept cash. Sometimes I want to use cash ok! Some tescos have none!
View on Reddit #22724221

ofjune-x@reddit

Idk about other shops but at mine the scanners are the exact same for the manned tills and the self-serve, customers just hold the barcodes right up against the scanner to it can’t read it or the have it above/below/sideways/miles away so it can’t scan it either. I think I have to say “if you hold it a little further from the scanner it’ll be able to see it” about 50 times a day cause people think they need to press it against the glass.
View on Reddit #22727798

Mean_Lengthiness_852@reddit

Then they should make it idiot proof!
View on Reddit #23131375

newtonbase@reddit

Anyone who refuses to use them as they 'put people out of a job' should be sent home to weave their own clothes.
View on Reddit #22713086

gnu_andii@reddit

That analogy only works if, after I've woken the clothes, I give them to the supermarket for them to sell for free. I'm not going to be anyone's cashier for free.
View on Reddit #22715407

newtonbase@reddit

It was more of a dig at Luddites.
View on Reddit #22720202

gnu_andii@reddit

Right, but this isn't progress. It's more inefficient to have a customer struggling with one of these machines than it is for a cashier to just whip everything through on a checkout, especially if there are complications like weighted or age-restricted items. They are also more prone to theft.
View on Reddit #22963173

LabradorSmartphone@reddit

The store needs to clean the snot, phlegm and dried mucus off the touchscreens at least daily.
View on Reddit #22877710

Visible-Traffic-5180@reddit

I am severely sight impaired but I have a slight bit of central vision remaining and don't need to use my white cane in the supermarket. All of you would think I'm just a common or garden dumb cunt , flapping about trying to find the slot for paper money, vaguely mashing the screen with my palms, my light screams of frustration etc. Don't forget those of us with (badly) hidden disabilities, folks 😘
View on Reddit #22717175

throwmeinthettrash@reddit

My brain fog is absolutely taking me out to the point I can't find words immediately or I can't remember a word I know very well (not the normal amount of fumbling over words people get) and I'm scared to let people see me a lot of the time cause they'll think I'm an idiot. I didn't used to be like this, my disability is just kicking my ass.
View on Reddit #22726553

Visible-Traffic-5180@reddit

I'n sorry to hear that. Isn't it strange, and awful? I hope you can get back into doing things more, and that people are patient with you. It's not your fault. I feel for these perfect capable people lol, who don't realise that we all age and change, that any of us could become disabled or differently able at any point. And they will then presumably feel bad for judging people who have visible struggles of which they are privy to no knowledge. Or more likely, feel aggrieved that people assume they are too stupid to use a checkout, when it's far from the truth, and wasn't always that way for them 🤷🏻
View on Reddit #22837095

Initial-Echidna-9129@reddit

For every self-checkout installed, the shop has to employ 2 more people
View on Reddit #22816740

SunDriedFart@reddit

if you have to wait more than 30 seconds for someone to come and help because the machines fucked up you get the item free
View on Reddit #22708222

SunDriedFart@reddit

also, a 2% discount applied to the total cost for doing the shop a favour saving them employing someone to scan for you.
View on Reddit #22708369

electricmohair@reddit

As someone who works in these places, I’m begging you not to say this to a member of staff. I literally must hear this joke several times per shift 😭
View on Reddit #22712917

homelaberator@reddit

To be fair, you get *paid* to hear that joke. And the one about things not scanning being free.
View on Reddit #22720995

electricmohair@reddit

Don’t forget the old “do you want to see my ID?” from every guy past the age of about 40
View on Reddit #22722350

Lonely-Ad-5387@reddit

In my day that demographic's favourite joke was "Do you need a bag?" "No thanks son, I've got an old one at home!" Oh god... my sides...
View on Reddit #22811292

electricmohair@reddit

That one’s still alive and well!
View on Reddit #22812251

bacon_cake@reddit

They don't really get paid *to* hear that joke, they're just being paid *while* hearing it. And it's repetitive and unoriginal.
View on Reddit #22745664

terryjuicelawson@reddit

It is one of those things that is corny but it helps an awkward silence and wait. I do think staff should have the power to just give people small items if they refuse to scan, holding up a whole queue of people just for a packet of crisps or something is pointless.
View on Reddit #22749462

electricmohair@reddit

Staff usually do have that power if it’s cheap enough, like a banana or something. For other stuff if you tell them how much it is, they should be able to put it through manually (which is a win-win as if also saves them going over and getting another one).
View on Reddit #22750227

terryjuicelawson@reddit

That is good. I had this one time I had a single bulb of garlic they couldn't find in the system. They had to go to the shelf and found they only sold in 3 packs and this must have fallen out loose, with no others left. Because it had no code, they couldn't put it through so just did a "computer says no". Guess they put it in the bin or it is still there.
View on Reddit #22750460

-Dueck-@reddit

Who says it's a joke?
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Vyvyansmum@reddit

I’m a SCO supervisor- among other things- NOBODY HAS LOST THEIR JOB. It’s an additional responsibility some of got trained on & the rest are deployed elsewhere.
View on Reddit #22714485

Dans77b@reddit

People dont always lose their job directly as a result of mechanisation/automation, but in the longer term, supermarkets will reduce headcount. Why do you think they paid for the machines?
View on Reddit #22716195

obsoletedatafile@reddit

To get a higher volume of customers through the shop more quickly
View on Reddit #22720599

Dans77b@reddit

So why not employ staff to cover more of the checkouts? Self checkouts add extra capacity when all checkouts are full, but take the place of staff at times when checkouts are quieter.
View on Reddit #22721462

Alexander-Wright@reddit

Some shops don't have space for more checkouts. You can put several self serve in the same space. Personally, as a shopper, I prefer the handheld scanners. For small shops, I scan and pack directly into my bag, and can pay in 60 seconds at the till.
View on Reddit #22756841

Dans77b@reddit

Most of the time in big shops the majority of checkouts are closed.
View on Reddit #22769456

glasgowgeg@reddit

The shop may not be busy enough frequently enough to make hiring another staff member worth it. I used to work in a Tesco Express when we got the self-scans first installed. The till was generally staffed by a single person, there was no need for a second person on the till for the majority of the shift, outside the post-work rush which generally lasted about 30 minutes tops.
View on Reddit #22748533

Dans77b@reddit

'not worth hiring another member of staff' If that was the case before self checkouts, then it definitly is now. I have no problem with automation if it brings about more leisure time and hugher luving standards, but it doesnt. Look at all the pushback against 4 day working weeks.
View on Reddit #22769392

Kinbote808@reddit

But the same volume of people are coming in to the shop, so getting them out more efficiently means less staff are needed.
View on Reddit #22739636

7148675309@reddit

Does that actually happen? In M&S Food today - the machine scanned one of my two items twice and it took 3 minutes for someone to come over to fix it after I clicked on remove item
View on Reddit #22721396

terryjuicelawson@reddit

It will happen indirectly as the people deployed elsewhere can be seen to have roles that are fit to cut down numbers on, over time. Obviously it isn't like they install three self serve machines and three checkout people get sacked. I've seen it in my industry (IT) with a lot of automated or user admin processes put in place. It is not like they fired everyone who previously manned the phones doing various things but the teams get trimmed year on year. I wouldn't say the user experience has improved overall.
View on Reddit #22748443

Necessary_Collar_490@reddit

Trained elsewhere so another job is lost
View on Reddit #22716126

Vyvyansmum@reddit

No. No jobs have been lost. Ours were installed in June 23 & NOBODY has lost a job at all plus extra staff At Christmas.
View on Reddit #22716799

ofjune-x@reddit

Ours were installed in 2020/early 2021 (before I worked there) and nobody has lost their job, the people who were constantly being shouted to jump on a till because it got busy are happy that they can get on with their actual job they’re rota’d for and me and many other people were hired specifically to work as self-checkout assistants. And plenty new till staff join for Christmas and summer when uni kids are looking for jobs.
View on Reddit #22726159

Vyvyansmum@reddit

Exactly the same here.
View on Reddit #22748371

Necessary_Collar_490@reddit

Jobs that would have been available are no longer available, so jobs, long term, are lost. It's simple really, if the old cashier is now putting fruit and veg out, the job of putting fruit and veg out is now not available to hire someone new in. No one might have lost their jobs, but that's a completely different thing to what I said
View on Reddit #22728241

ofjune-x@reddit

Our old cashiers are still cashiers on the manned tills. The people putting stock out were always putting stock out, except now they don’t get interrupted every 10 minutes being tannoyed to jump on a till if there’s a queue and someone wants to buy one item.
View on Reddit #22728421

smartief1@reddit

Has everyone who left been replaced like for like?
View on Reddit #22739404

Vyvyansmum@reddit

Nobody left at all. Same bunch of colleagues.
View on Reddit #22748319

Tacticoolhouseplant@reddit

Need a better system for age restricted products aswell.
View on Reddit #22777169

skelly890@reddit

I’m quick and do two scans. One for all the items that won’t be a problem, then pay for them. Then I scan the alcohol and set a timer on my watch. More than a one minute wait and I’m gone, leaving the drink behind. I’m old and they should have AI smart enough to detect that I’m old. Also, I’m old enough to keep alcohol at home without drinking it, usually have some in, so it’s a discretionary item.
View on Reddit #22714755

kubixmaster3009@reddit

The issue is that an AI would be a liability nightmare. AI is very much not foolproof, and as much as it is not a problem if it classifies an onion as a lemon, it is much more of a problem if it classifies a 13 year old as an adult and sells them alcohol
View on Reddit #22724230

Fluffatron_UK@reddit

We don't need ai. We've had websites that ask you to verify your age by entering your DOB for years running with no problem. They should just do this for the tills.
View on Reddit #22743286

glasgowgeg@reddit

> We've had websites that ask you to verify your age by entering your DOB for years running with no problem. They should just do this for the tills Famously not a single person has ever lied about their age online to access a service they're not old enough for, right?
View on Reddit #22748645

Fluffatron_UK@reddit

That was the joke. That's my fault though for hoping people might understand that this is so obviously not true that /s is not required but I guess my faith in you was misplaced.
View on Reddit #22758355

glasgowgeg@reddit

Poe's law in action.
View on Reddit #22758440

Yaseuk@reddit

I need this! Our local shop never has anyone around and you have to wait 5/10 mins.
View on Reddit #22743945

Fluffatron_UK@reddit

Add-on to this - if a deal doesn't go through and they don't believe you and have to go check the shelves that the deal exists then the whole deal is free because of the unwarranted attack on my honour and waste of my time.
View on Reddit #22743171

nl325@reddit

While "free shit" always wins, this doesn't really count because - as an example selve serve attendee all of this is like PTSD - as most of the comments allude to, people are utter fucking cretins and unfortunately need extended help in reading instructions on a screen lol
View on Reddit #22711449

MessiahOfMetal@reddit

I'm so glad I got out of retail before self-scanning came along.
View on Reddit #22716749

Vyvyansmum@reddit

We should be allowed £10 a per customer, every time one scans their whole shop on a non functional screen with a big massive sign on it. Yet us retail workers are the thick ones ?!
View on Reddit #22714608

WoodSteelStone@reddit

Like the countdown clock thing you press in Homebase when you want someone to come and mix a tin of paint. Not free paint but a decent discount.
View on Reddit #22712628

Puzzleheaded_Drink76@reddit

Double if the staff member wasn't helping someone else. Or if the shop has got one poor member of staff trying to cover a million tills. Or serve on the staffed tills while also having to run the self checkout.
View on Reddit #22711321

dragonb2992@reddit

The till lights should show a certain colour if they're free. Too often there's a queue of people at the self serve even though there's 5 tills not being used.
View on Reddit #22709987

dudeperson567@reddit

They do in all the supermarkets I’ve been to
View on Reddit #22713729

dragonb2992@reddit

In Sainsbury's they're green unless staff assistance is needed, in which case they're red.
View on Reddit #22811837

smartief1@reddit

A lot do, but they use green/red lights, which for large numbers of colourblind people, is utterly useless
View on Reddit #22739203

funkmachine7@reddit

They do but then they put little hats with numbers on them..
View on Reddit #22734940

Pentax25@reddit

Most of them do but unfortunately half the time they don’t work
View on Reddit #22713329

Talking_Nowt@reddit

If you can't figure out the routine of pick up item, scan, bag, pick up next item, then please don't use the self checkout. It's too complex for you.
View on Reddit #22705772

blozzerg@reddit

It’s learning how scales work. That’s the trick. Scale is set to 0. You scan then add a 200g item. Scale detects 200g. Scale is happy, proceed with the next item. You introduce anything else into that mix, and that’s when problems arise. You decide you want to start bagging half way through? You just added a 5g bag. Scale doesn’t know what the fuck you’ve done. Did you bag the wrong item? Slip something extra into the bag? Not a clue. Can’t proceed. Most people just don’t get the whole bring your own bag thing, and don’t understand why you can’t just introduce your own bag half way through, Scale is set to 0. You tell it you’ve bought your own bag. Scale detects 5g, right, that’s a bag, now the scale resets itself to 0. Proceed. It’s that simple.
View on Reddit #22710911

RobertTheSpruce@reddit

> Scale is set to 0. > > You tell it you’ve bought your own bag. > > Scale detects 5g, right, that’s a bag, now the scale resets itself to 0. Proceed. You tell it you brought your own bag. You set it on the scale. The lightgoes red and you need to wait 5 minutes for some underpaid tw
View on Reddit #22728194

098vu3-94@reddit

The solution is to skip bagging on the scale entirely. Scan something, weigh it, then move it to the bag near your feet. It doesn't care if you remove the weight after it's accepted.
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RobertTheSpruce@reddit

ITEM REMOVED FROM BAGGING AREA
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098vu3-94@reddit

Let me help you. 'It doesn't care if you remove the weight after it's accepted.'
View on Reddit #22760507

Lonely-Ad-5387@reddit

Oh, are you using the special magical self checkout the whole rest of the nation has missed then?
View on Reddit #22811116

-Dueck-@reddit

Except the system is shit and still forces you to get assistance when you add a bag correctly 9/10 times. It also stupidly throws a fit over items that weigh very little - if you scan a birthday card, it usually doesn't register any weight change, and then gets upset again. Why they don't just ignore items which are known to weigh less than a few grams is beyond me.
View on Reddit #22723987

tubbstattsyrup2@reddit

I save that crap to for the end now, get them all in one hit. But, it takes a fair bit of learning to know all the various items that'll upset one of those things. Had three of them chatting away to themselves in the shop I worked in for a while. I thought of them as the 3 witches of Macbeth. Conspiring in the corner and preventing me from relieving boredom by tempting away customers. Creepy bitches.
View on Reddit #22745424

cybertonto72@reddit

The trick I found is, if the product is too light to trigger the scale all you have to do is tap the scale after you put the product on it. Some stores need you to actually put weight on the scale and some take the lightest touch
View on Reddit #22766014

Straight_Market_782@reddit

It’s really not.  Bleep item. Put item in bagging area.  *bleep* “someone is coming [in five minutes because we’re too cheap to staff it properly]”. The scales aren’t calibrated for shit on so many machines. 
View on Reddit #22762511

tubbstattsyrup2@reddit

Except in the case of flowers, magazines, newspapers, hot food and a number of other products with variable weights. I presume everyone is expected to be aware of that too?
View on Reddit #22745325

blozzerg@reddit

I buy all those and never had an issue?
View on Reddit #22751706

glytxh@reddit

I love the part where I’m digging out all my own old bags to use, and then have to politely wait a few minutes for the employees to stop chatting and notice me.
View on Reddit #22748045

Puzzleheaded_Drink76@reddit

I get it. I scan the item. I place just that item in with shopping. Scale decides it weighs too much. Or can't detect something light like a packet of herbs. Different shops vary wildly on terms of actually being functional for more than a couple of items.
View on Reddit #22711164

blozzerg@reddit

I literally never have a problem with it, in any shop I go in. So long as I don’t rush and give it chance to figure shit out between each step, it always works. I always put my bag down first and let it tare off and that’s never an issue either. The only time I have to summon the staff is for restricted items like booze.
View on Reddit #22711333

BigBadRash@reddit

They've generally been getting better the longer they've been around and some shops do seem better than others. Back when Morrisons was my closest I couldn't get through 5 items without the scale throwing a hissy fit. The scan and shop is the superior way to use the self checkout anyway, that way you only need to weigh produce at the special produce scales.
View on Reddit #22740834

Unhappy_Spell_9907@reddit

They often have a hissy fit at me.
View on Reddit #22730881

Puzzleheaded_Drink76@reddit

You can't rush! They are so slow because they have to weigh everything individually. 
View on Reddit #22712043

Slapedd1953@reddit

“Surprising item on bagging scale!” Yes, it’s the shopping.
View on Reddit #22715801

Nice-Substance-gogo@reddit (OP)

Had someone who didn’t realise had to put items on the weight scale after. Hence the post.
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jackbarbelfisherman@reddit

Very familiar with this one. Every time it happens, I want to tell the customer in my best sarcastic deadpan that the till tells them where to put it after scanning and that maybe they should pay attention to instructions...
View on Reddit #22711339

LawabidingKhajiit@reddit

The 'I don't understand technology' bit really can't be an excuse when a. You've chosen to use it over waiting for a manned till and b. It's telling you clearly what to do both in big letters on the screen and verbally. At some point it just becomes a lack of general comprehension.
View on Reddit #22712587

Icy_Hippo@reddit

'I dont understand tech'... is such a shit excuse now, we have had all sorts for a while now, they just refuse to learn new things. I know 80 year olds with computer and tech skills!
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pajamakitten@reddit

If you worked in an office back in the 80s then you would have had some experience with computers before retirement. I know tech has improved massively since then but the principle has remained the same.
View on Reddit #22784984

paolog@reddit

Plus tech has been around since we invented the wheel. People who "don't understand tech" encounter it in various forms, from low to high, all day long.
View on Reddit #22747816

AnriRB26@reddit

The older ones I can sort of understand but the middle aged people are just stupid or lazy or both, you can figure out how to be on FaceTime with your Airpods and Facebook your shit memes but not this, Really?
View on Reddit #22734043

cranbrook_aspie@reddit

And c, it’s not like self service tills are cutting edge new tech any more. They’ve been pretty common for 15 years now, like… that’s enough time for even the least tech savvy person to learn.
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Ok_Potatoe1@reddit

Self check outs were obvious and easy AF to use as soon as they rolled out. 20 years ago my mom knew not to move groceries off the weight scale but would anyway, get mad, and then I would tell her she wasn't supposed to move the groceries and she'd Huff "I KNOW. BUT I WANT TO PUT MY BAGS IN MY THE CART :((((((" ..... * my current store has a button for "skip bagging"; thanks dumb old people
View on Reddit #22737735

pajamakitten@reddit

They were quite sensitive when they first came out though. Dust seemed to upset them when my local Tesco Express first got them.
View on Reddit #22784736

proximalfunk@reddit

There are a lot of people with a genuine lack of general comprehension, and I don't think taking the piss out of them or showing no patience is cool or necessary.
View on Reddit #22758652

paolog@reddit

And d, you manage to understand when the assistant tells you *exactly the same thing* as the machine has said.
View on Reddit #22747649

bacon_cake@reddit

>At some point it just becomes a lack of general comprehension. Absolutely, or just a massive lack of resourcefulness and common sense. I have a colleague at work who routinely calls me over for tech support and I will almost always simply read, 100% verbatim, what's on his screen and it almost always solves the issue. Him: "Can you help me? I can't process this order." Me: "Hmm, 'Address 3 can't have more than 30 characters'" Him: "Oh, I'll cut the address length down" Me: ??? On the rare occasion it's not obvious I google his problem in front of him and walk through nothing but the exact steps on the screen. Another thing he likes to do is say "*How am I supposed to know that!?*" when I show him a keyboard shortcut or a software feature he didn't know about. He asks the question in a sort of exasperated and baffled tone like the information I know was injected into my brain on birth and that user manuals and the concept of self education simply no longer exist. /rant. It drives me mad.
View on Reddit #22745610

themadhatter85@reddit

I was in Aldi last night and they had no manned tills, self scan only.
View on Reddit #22720388

NecroVelcro@reddit

Brain farts happen. They happen all the more when you're stressed and/or distracted and are particularly awful with some health conditions. Being belittled by a member of staff really helps to improve that concentration and self esteem. /s
View on Reddit #22740550

jackbarbelfisherman@reddit

Hence why deadpan sarcasm is reserved for obvious scammers, thieves or rude ignorant twats that are seemingly actively trying to be stupid.
View on Reddit #22744811

NecroVelcro@reddit

"Hence why" is tautological.
View on Reddit #22761592

proximalfunk@reddit

Why not be helpful *and* nice? No need to make someone feel bad for not being comfortable with technology. Yes, help them, it's the nice thing to do, just don't make them feel stupid for your own amusement.
View on Reddit #22758521

jackbarbelfisherman@reddit

This thread is mostly fantasy. If I wasn’t helpful and nice (or at least mostly professional) I wouldn’t still have a job. Sarcastic piece of shit mode is rarely used and reserved for those who’ve really earned it.
View on Reddit #22761370

Darkhocine900@reddit

Has anybody smacked you at work before ?
View on Reddit #22750800

jackbarbelfisherman@reddit

Nah. Complained about and threatened a couple of times...
View on Reddit #22756757

Darkhocine900@reddit

Fairs, stay safe lmao.
View on Reddit #22757894

Slight-Force7465@reddit

“Put the lotion in the basket”
View on Reddit #22729299

jackbarbelfisherman@reddit

"Or you get the hose again"
View on Reddit #22736931

DevelOP3@reddit

In fairness. After many years of working in a convenience store of one of the big supers, my own muscle memory still gets me sometimes on self checkout. Natural habit to try and scan an item twice if I have two rather than scan each one and place each one down.
View on Reddit #22716601

Old-Distribution7202@reddit

I have 1 item in my right hand 1mm above bagging area. The 2nd of the same item in my left hand. Scan, drop from right hand, scan again, throw item from left to right hand, catch, drop. ​ You need to get your efficiency game up.
View on Reddit #22719936

DevelOP3@reddit

See that would work if it wasn’t the issue of that isn’t how I did it for years on a normal till. So my body still takes over before the brain haha
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BrewInProgress@reddit

To be fair, some M&S stores don’t have the place that is for weighing scanned items.
View on Reddit #22714857

Pyrocitus@reddit

Depends where you go and what model of self checkout they have, some places don't opt for the security scale module if it's a low risk theft location to speed up checkout
View on Reddit #22719686

apover2@reddit

Might also be a space issue. I’ve seen M&S stores with 4x card only tills with no scales opposite 2x cash/card with scales with the 4 small taking the space of the 2 larger self checkouts. Scan & Go in M&S is a handy way to reduce crowding at the tills.
View on Reddit #22747965

ThePumpk1nMaster@reddit

To be fair, sometimes the scales are in a really arbitrary place. They should be on the opposite side of the screen to the pre-scan area, although I’ve been to places where it’s either on the same side or on some raised platform coming off the screen or in some alcove under the screen
View on Reddit #22719987

098vu3-94@reddit

It is odd that there are so many different physical configurations for what seems to be re-skinned versions of the same slow software.
View on Reddit #22746694

gnufan@reddit

I was thinking label the area "Basket here"and "Bags here", I have been to shops either way around, or both on one side. Waitrose here basically does self checkout on trust. Their scales a lot less temperamental.
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djnw@reddit

Most self checkouts are already labelled like this.
View on Reddit #22741237

bornfromanegg@reddit

I don’t mind people who don’t know, but I don’t like people who won’t learn. Hard to believe this is the first time she’s used this thing but maybe it is, who knows? As long as she learns, then it’s all good with me.
View on Reddit #22741731

destroy--everything@reddit

In AU some shops of the same chain have different settings some require weight some don’t, I have 2 of the same chain near my place depending on what side of a road I’m on I will find my self having to weigh it or not, fucking confusing (for a second)
View on Reddit #22738962

ReasonableLaw2223@reddit

i had a woman see the option that says if u brought ur own bag set it on the scale and she unclipped her fanny pack and set it down
View on Reddit #22724593

EquivalentIsopod7717@reddit

I know someone who didn't understand the idea of putting the empty bag next to the machine and filling it as they went. First time, they removed stuff before paying and the machine freaked out. The second time, they manually picked everything off and into bags after they had paid.
View on Reddit #22709519

eggmayonnaise@reddit

To be fair, I move stuff into bags after paying too sometimes. I do it because it can be quicker than waiting for someone to approve your bags, and is less prone to "unexpected item in the bagging area" when your bag presses SLIGHTLY harder on the scale.
View on Reddit #22710127

LaSalsiccione@reddit

1. Take heaviest item 2. Scan it 3. Put it in your bag 4. Put bag on the scale 5. Continue to scan and bag the rest of the items The weight tolerances with heavy items are such that a bag will not exceed the maximum allowed weight for your first item. I have an almost 100% success rate doing this and it’s obvious when it isn’t going to work (e.g. you only have a packet of basil). In these cases you obviously bag afterwards.
View on Reddit #22713411

Alexander-Wright@reddit

It does take a little experimentation to find the items with the greatest weight tolerance, but once you have...
View on Reddit #22756456

eggmayonnaise@reddit

I hadn't considered that, thanks! I'll try this next time. Although I assume it depends on the weight of the bag, which would need to be within the tolerance. A leather bag with metal accessories and other items inside it weighs a lot more than an empty fabric tote bag, for example.
View on Reddit #22717798

LaSalsiccione@reddit

Yes you’re right, it depends on the weight of the bag and I’ll admit I never use a particularly heavy bag for grocery shopping.
View on Reddit #22717887

mrshakeshaft@reddit

Yeah, I do this too. Mainly because one of the staff said “it’s actually a lot quicker if you bag it afterwards” and I am very very suggestible.
View on Reddit #22710445

Cloielle@reddit

They’re usually better these days, to be fair. They must have increased the weight threshold for considering something a bag, as most tote bags are ok now, it’s only a backpack or similar that will make them refuse to recognise a bag
View on Reddit #22712236

DameKumquat@reddit

Depends - plenty of shops still complain about an actual empty bag at the start of a shop, let alone the idea putting something on the scales at the start and letting you set that as zero before scanning. One advantage of looking respectably middle aged is often staff will switch the scales off so I can just scan and chuck straight into my pully trolley to take home.
View on Reddit #22740795

Substantial_Page_221@reddit

You do realise we will be the annoying old people that "just has to bag everything at the end", the young generations will speak of.
View on Reddit #22714007

mrshakeshaft@reddit

Yep. Totally cool with that. I’m assuming that you are as well?
View on Reddit #22714985

Vorpeseda@reddit

I haven't been told that specifically by staff, but it has been true in my experience.
View on Reddit #22712666

WarmTransportation35@reddit

I find it much quicker to do that and is the natural thing to do when buying small number of items at a till.
View on Reddit #22718811

Puzzleheaded_Drink76@reddit

Yeah, an Aldi employee told me not to use my own bag because the machine can't handle it. 
View on Reddit #22711011

Substantial_Page_221@reddit

Poor machine. Just figment handle the stress.
View on Reddit #22714048

Vorpeseda@reddit

It's just quicker and more reliable to do it this way.
View on Reddit #22712583

msmoth@reddit

Same here.
View on Reddit #22712085

JustLetItAllBurn@reddit

I always bag quickly after completion for this reason, especially because it's usually into my backpack.
View on Reddit #22711789

F1sh_Face@reddit

> they manually picked everything How else would you do it?
View on Reddit #22716211

Estrellathestarfish@reddit

If I already have something in my bag from somewhere else, I have to pack up afterwards, or the machine has a right hissy fit if you try to use the bag. 30 seconds of packing is much quicker than having to get a staff member to sort it out.
View on Reddit #22713685

Jebble@reddit

>If you can't figure out the routine of pick up item, scan, bag, pick up next item, then please don't use the self checkout. It's too complex for you. Nah screw that, the machines in the UK checking the weight never work properly with bags on them. It also takes ages to get the bag weight approved by staff before you can start scanning. In other countries there's no scales, they just do random checks and have the gates requiring a receipt to leave, way quicker.
View on Reddit #22746843

Yikes44@reddit

To be fair, how is anyone supposed to learn if they're being judged by the people behind them for having a go? That's exactly how I felt the first time I used one.
View on Reddit #22739007

Talking_Nowt@reddit

If you haven't figured it out by the 3rd item then that's on you
View on Reddit #22740200

UnpredictiveList@reddit

Or just - no old people.
View on Reddit #22707570

stinky-farter@reddit

That's right, change society norms massively then moan at old people rather than helping them.
View on Reddit #22708497

Nice-Substance-gogo@reddit (OP)

They have been around for over 10 years now. They were middle aged a lot of them when they came in.
View on Reddit #22708772

stinky-farter@reddit

So the difference between middle age and the oldest people in society is only 10 years?
View on Reddit #22708866

Nice-Substance-gogo@reddit (OP)

Oldest people In society are few and far between. Boomers have had mobile phones and computers half their lives. They should know how self checkout works.
View on Reddit #22709024

stinky-farter@reddit

No one's saying about knowing they work. Just saying where the scales are is sometimes not intuitive. I'm 30 with a masters degree in maths and an actuary, so you can't say Im dumb or old...
View on Reddit #22709103

Leaky_Taps@reddit

Degrees these days aren't worth the paper they're printed on, especially if you can't even work a set of scales.
View on Reddit #22711442

stinky-farter@reddit

Yeah astrophysicists, doctors, engineers and mathematicians are so thick. Just because you struggle to value intellectual ability don't deny it exists
View on Reddit #22718247

Leaky_Taps@reddit

I do value intellectual ability, I built a career on it. I can also negotiate simple everyday tasks unlike some people.
View on Reddit #22728913

ShanghaiGoat@reddit

I was abroad for nearly 20 years so when I came back I was way behind the curve. Have used three times now and coming to grips with it.
View on Reddit #22709509

FunkulousThe55th@reddit

Yes
View on Reddit #22710359

UnpredictiveList@reddit

Nah, my parents can’t use them for shit, no matter how much training. They struggle when they put a bag on. They need to go to the normal checkout.
View on Reddit #22708602

stinky-farter@reddit

Hahaha fair enough. Mine have been relatively good at keeping up with the times bless them.
View on Reddit #22708649

Cpkrupa@reddit

Except when you bag it it will detect the weight of the bag and fuck up the whole process usually.
View on Reddit #22728541

Veflas510@reddit

I genuinely believe that you should have to take a competency test in order to receive a card or something that lets you unlock the use of self service tills.
View on Reddit #22723548

FuzzyPalpitation-16@reddit

I avoid using self checkouts when I’m hungover. Not only am I anxious from the other shoppers waiting, my coordination skills are non existent 😂
View on Reddit #22711755

Talking_Nowt@reddit

You've got to know your limitations. And when you're hungover you need someone to do as much of the thinking as possible, I've been there!
View on Reddit #22712684

FuzzyPalpitation-16@reddit

Searching for the correct baked goods on screen becomes a rigorous intellectual task
View on Reddit #22712934

HowHardCanItBeReally@reddit

Can't do that, it will say place last item in bagging area.
View on Reddit #22708855

OGBrianPeppers@reddit

no baskets in the trolley self checkout and no trolleys in the basket one aint hard!!
View on Reddit #22800100

Explore_Phablet_8578@reddit

no getting the shop assistant to do all the work for ya. Where's the fun in that, eh? Let's all have a go and see who can scan the fastest!
View on Reddit #22795375

ProfileBoring@reddit

That the staff member watching them doesn't dissappear to the other end of the store so I'm not stood around like a muppet when the machine decides to have a hissy fit.
View on Reddit #22710250

imreallydead@reddit

I move to a different till and start over when this happens to me
View on Reddit #22776242

Tiny-Grade-6347@reddit

The rule should be that they must actually have a sales person present for approval of things. Having to wait every time for someone to approve things is a drag. I understand Id checks and the repercussions that shops have, but please pleas please have someone there to do it in a timely fashion.
View on Reddit #22774924

Glozboy@reddit

1 customer per checkout. Don't being 3 friends to watch.
View on Reddit #22774905

Dapper_Car5038@reddit

Only use if you have an IQ over 50
View on Reddit #22774271

aseeklee@reddit

Everyone should calm down a bit. Why are in such a hurry that 20 seconds matters? Chill TF out. People have different abilities and some people take time to process information and need a few more minutes.
View on Reddit #22774072

moosebeast@reddit

While I understand the 'no trolleys' thing, the trolleys with the kids seat in are invaluable if you have a toddler, even if you're only buying a few things. Otherwise they'd be running all over the place. And I'd rather not queue behind someone at the checkout with an actual full trolley of stuff when I have an impatient two year old and only a few items.. I do agree in principle with not using them to get your entire week's worth of shopping though. A basket's worth of stuff should be the standard.
View on Reddit #22773025

_Kyloluma_@reddit

Don't make a step asking me to print a receipt, just give it as an option at the end, that will go away on it's own. Don't make me tap 'No'
View on Reddit #22708048

moosebeast@reddit

Waitrose do this now as well I think
View on Reddit #22772574

RandomHigh@reddit

Tesco do this by asking at the end. Still, I'd rather be emailed a receipt. If I scan my clubard or other supermarket equivalent, please email me a receipt. You already have my email associated with the clubcard. You already know my details. Just let me check a box in preferences somewhere to email me a receipt.
View on Reddit #22746913

Puzzleheaded_Drink76@reddit

And don't expect me to scan the receipt to be allowed to exit the shop!
View on Reddit #22711860

nl325@reddit

Co Op do this. It's the only thing they have on their machines that is right, but it counts down from 5. Same with Tesco I believe
View on Reddit #22711731

Nice-Substance-gogo@reddit (OP)

Which company does that?
View on Reddit #22708370

_Kyloluma_@reddit

I think M&S has started to do it
View on Reddit #22708415

SmaII_Cow__________@reddit

You just wave your basket under a laser and everything is scanned
View on Reddit #22715675

Nice-Substance-gogo@reddit (OP)

The way decathlon does it is amazing!!
View on Reddit #22738388

SmaII_Cow__________@reddit

Realllyyy???? Cool
View on Reddit #22772209

PercentageFunny8684@reddit

10% discount for using them...to pass on the staff cost savings.
View on Reddit #22772047

TheMinceKid@reddit

They get banned.
View on Reddit #22770878

SojournerInThisVale@reddit

I’d abolish them. Ghastly, anti-social things
View on Reddit #22759863

Nice-Substance-gogo@reddit (OP)

Whose looking to be social at a supermarket?
View on Reddit #22760034

SojournerInThisVale@reddit

It’s perfectly normal to be social in a public place within one’s own community. It makes society a happier, friendlier place. This makes for a happier place. I think younger people are more anti-social in general. My new neighbours are much younger and barely speak. Likewise, the younger supermarket staff at the supermarket barely speak (despite being told in their training to do so) while older staff are much more friendly and talkative
View on Reddit #22760636

Nice-Substance-gogo@reddit (OP)

You must live outside of London? I want my shopping not a chat.
View on Reddit #22764033

SojournerInThisVale@reddit

Yes, like the vast majority of the country. Congratulations, you’re anti social. Does it make you proud?
View on Reddit #22765858

Nice-Substance-gogo@reddit (OP)

Yeah. Does having a chat with Pam at the till makes you feel like you have friends?
View on Reddit #22769707

SojournerInThisVale@reddit

Primary school insults? Really? It’s called being social, as said. Nothing to do with friendship. It’s also called basic human decency and passing the time of day.
View on Reddit #22770348

Random_Nobody1991@reddit

There should always be a member of staff on hand. Mildly frustrating when buying booze at my small Sainsbury’s and I have to abandon my shopping to find someone to approve it.
View on Reddit #22770317

ButItIsMyNothing@reddit

Discount based on how fast you can scan everything and pay.
View on Reddit #22706826

onionsofwar@reddit

Lovely idea but flip it the other way and you're basically saying people with mobility issues have to pay more...
View on Reddit #22713277

thrwwy8943@reddit

Yup! Also disorders that cause developmental delays like myself. I use the self checkout as I can find using the tills quite challenging for several reasons. I shop at aldi, so things come at me faster than I can process. Also, it means I don't have to navigate communicating with staff members on days where that's a challenge. I like being able to do things at my own pace. I'm also practicing for when I work on the tills, which I plan to do once placed with my assistance dog
View on Reddit #22768964

BowlFruit3@reddit

And?
View on Reddit #22721990

onionsofwar@reddit

And treating people like less is something done by people who are lesser.
View on Reddit #22742616

BowlFruit3@reddit

Classic feel-good platitude.
View on Reddit #22748466

ButItIsMyNothing@reddit

Good point. Also discount for blue badge holders then.
View on Reddit #22742590

MessiahOfMetal@reddit

Yeah, I can see a friend of mine struggling because of a condition that affects their motor functions.
View on Reddit #22716607

ThatDrunkenDwarf@reddit

It really isn’t that deep
View on Reddit #22718300

No_Pie9393@reddit

That is fucked up. Why? 
View on Reddit #22749731

lcullj@reddit

My Man
View on Reddit #22715906

wellyonaplate@reddit

Pretty sure this kind if exists in the "your nectar prices" model. You get extra discount on some items that you regularly buy, only if you're using the scanny gun.
View on Reddit #22715782

nl325@reddit

I can hear the Aldi staff salivating 😂
View on Reddit #22711129

PrinceBert@reddit

What's the time per item you're winning for to qualify for discount? Presumably items also have to be bagged as well?
View on Reddit #22710958

i_am_renb0@reddit

Supermarkets would only implement that if it was the inverse
View on Reddit #22709302

Atoz_Bumble@reddit

Genius
View on Reddit #22708862

Crochet-panther@reddit

Bring it on!
View on Reddit #22708587

LateralLimey@reddit

For every stupid error you get a discount. For example my local Tesco when I add my own bags it complains of an item in the bagging area. I KNOW I JUST PUT A BAG THERE LIKE YOU TOLD ME! Once when it was quiet I just went from machine to machine every time it happened.
View on Reddit #22765659

PassDazzling@reddit

If you need authorisation and a staff member doesn't appear within 5 mins it's all free and you can take it and leave.
View on Reddit #22765209

Oscyle@reddit

Aldi near me has a 20 item limit, but some weirdos still try and take a trolley full there
View on Reddit #22764260

fiendofecology@reddit

Whoever is first in the queue NEEDS to be on the ball about if there any checkouts free. If there are only card only ones and they are paying cash or vice versa then they NEEEED to let people behind them know so that the queue keeps moving. Legit biggest pet peeve
View on Reddit #22707545

amannotcalledbob@reddit

Same people that don't understand the big green flashing lights at the automated passport gates!
View on Reddit #22763817

gorgeousgeorge49@reddit

Bang on. Just had this like an hour ago. Young guy in front of me gorping at his phone and there's one flashing green. I politely said "one open there for you mate" but he was completely zoned out. I think 10 second rule before you are entitled to skip the queue to get to a free till if the person at the front doesn't want it.
View on Reddit #22708984

lawn19@reddit

5 second rule for this one!
View on Reddit #22714644

gorgeousgeorge49@reddit

Yeah definitely - upon reflection 10 seconds is way too long
View on Reddit #22758233

cb0495@reddit

Woman in Sainsburys was waiting in front of me and I politely tell her one’s free “I’m paying cash that only takes card” so I go use that one, she gets arsey because I’ve “pushed in front of her” Babe, I’m paying with card. I can use that one to keep the queue going down. It’s not like I shoved her out the way. I don’t get why you’d make someone wait who can use the one available.
View on Reddit #22750302

Ham0nRyy@reddit

I got super annoyed one time cus I was waiting to see which would be free first, self checkout or till staff, the queue for both is in the same place Guy behind me says “are you doing self checkout” I said “I’ll go to whatever is free first” he says “well no because if you’re paying card you have to use self checkout and if you’re paying cash you have to go to a till” Which is completely untrue, yes the self checkout there only takes card, but I can still (and will) pay by card if I decide to go to the staff member instead. Just annoyed the hell out of me as I don’t like random people asking me things to begin with let alone trying to press me into letting him go first for whatever reason.
View on Reddit #22742449

daftwhale@reddit

Nah, they need a seperate queue for people using cash. The Tesco I used to go to would end up with a queue clogged up by folk waiting to use cash, to then have a card user nip in and nick the cash self-scanner... Them removing cash from them all was not much of an "upgrade" imo
View on Reddit #22726101

ofjune-x@reddit

So many people will just stand and stare at the machines longingly but won’t go use them. You don’t need permission, they’re available to use and you’re waiting to use them just go. They seem to feel like they need my permission as the self-checkout assistant to tell them they can use it.
View on Reddit #22725999

jxjxjxjdjdkdkd@reddit

The people who get to the front and then just zone out make me soooo mad
View on Reddit #22707935

Nice-Substance-gogo@reddit (OP)

How long do you give them before pointing?
View on Reddit #22709655

lammy82@reddit

I got into the habit of just walking past if they didn’t go to an available till within a few seconds. No one ever said anything.
View on Reddit #22711690

Dans77b@reddit

I have used self checkouts for years and never daydreamed. I did it one time and the guy behind just marched past me to the available till. Pissed me off way more than standing behind a daydreamer.
View on Reddit #22716070

zinasbear@reddit

>never daydreamed >I did it one time Which is it..?
View on Reddit #22718683

jbondpreston@reddit

He did it for years and never daydreamed, until one time he did. Very simple to understand
View on Reddit #22720414

OrderWooden@reddit

Did that recently and a bloke had a right tantrum at me about there being a queue. There were plenty of checkouts free ffs.
View on Reddit #22715413

powertheqwerty@reddit

5 secs max
View on Reddit #22709904

MathematicianBulky40@reddit

At my local supermarket, there are 10 self-serve tills, of which only 2 accept cash. Someone will, without fail, go to the "cash and card" ones and pay by card.
View on Reddit #22716449

ImaginaryParrot@reddit

GO GO GO
View on Reddit #22714208

marktuk@reddit

They should all be card only, cash can be used at the staffed checkouts.
View on Reddit #22711636

GretalRabbit@reddit

I really like getting rid of all my change at a self checkout - I'd feel mean making a cashier count everything.
View on Reddit #22711865

Nice-Substance-gogo@reddit (OP)

God I hate when there is a blank machine and a dick is not looking out as one phone. How long to you give before making a grunt or point? 5 seconds?
View on Reddit #22707786

JimCoo1@reddit

Pardon?
View on Reddit #22709753

Nice-Substance-gogo@reddit (OP)

People at the front not looking and everyone behind can see the tills are free!
View on Reddit #22709854

RS_Phil@reddit

I would make it so the scales understand what you mean by "I brought my own bag." When I place mine on and press the option it goes "NO!!!! STAFF NEEDED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Leads me to not bother, scan all my items, and then make myself a pain by bagging after paying.
View on Reddit #22717123

Lielune@reddit

THIS! My local Sainsbury’s had this function working until about halfway through lockdown. All you had to do was put your bag down before you scanned your first item and it adjusted automatically. Then it stopped working and has never worked again since and it pisses me off. Bag as you go should be mandatory, but they make it impossible to do if you’ve brought your own bag.
View on Reddit #22725146

RS_Phil@reddit

Yeh it's a real waste of time and properly annoying. For everyone!
View on Reddit #22763205

Mr_1ntense@reddit

That you have to be over 18 to use them so you don't have to wait 20 minutes for Margaret to come and age verify your £3 meal deal that includes a can of red bull
View on Reddit #22745931

Primary_Control_5871@reddit

Then Margaret will be asking for ID from people who don't look over 18.....
View on Reddit #22746617

Mr_1ntense@reddit

I hate Margaret
View on Reddit #22762783

InfiniteBaker6972@reddit

You should have to say ‘Thanks’ to the machine before it will let you close your transaction. Same goes for ATM’s & voice assistants in the home.
View on Reddit #22762569

Verbal-Gerbil@reddit

Allow me to input multiple quantities I asked the guy at the checkout the other day and he said too many will abuse it. But let me. Please.
View on Reddit #22759722

sputnikconspirator@reddit

I sometimes would like the cameras to have AI to be able to age check you automatically instead of waiting for someone to verify you. I just want to buy my energy drink FFS, I'm in my 30's.... On that note, why are energy drinks age restricted but pro plus and pre-workout (which some brands gives 2 monster cans worth of caffeine) per scoop not?
View on Reddit #22758502

mikelward@reddit

M&S are banned from using self checkout machines until they work as well as other supermarkets. Crappy little barcode scanners. Can't scan your Sparks card at any time. Have to tell it your paying by card instead of just tapping after pressing Finish & Pay. Have these people never shopped elsewhere?
View on Reddit #22708012

sputnikconspirator@reddit

I popped in to M&S for a quick lunch the other day thinking I'd be in and out..... Every item it decided to have a tantrum over. They're definitely the ones I have the most trouble with. Although I've been cursed this week with all self checkouts.
View on Reddit #22758191

Ham0nRyy@reddit

The co-op ones at my local all have “card only” above them, there’s no possible way to pay by cash. But I still have to press CARD to pay rather than the Tesco one just automatically being ready when I press finish. So annoying
View on Reddit #22742585

milly48@reddit

You can scan your sparks card whenever you want! In the first stage you can scan it as though it were an item, or you can scan it at the payment stage by selecting “sparks”. And to explain the scanners, M&S items have a normal barcode and another more complicated smaller barcode directly above that, for sales tracking and security purposes. The scanner will not register the item unless both barcodes are scanned simultaneously, however sometimes it will only catch one barcode or another and that’s when it will fail and ask you to scan again. The easiest way to remedy this is to hold the barcode as close as you can to the scanner, leave it there for a second or two, and then move it away into the bagging area. Works 99% of the time.
View on Reddit #22721648

Nice-Substance-gogo@reddit (OP)

So true but no scales!
View on Reddit #22708290

7148675309@reddit

I noticed this afternoon the person before me had to go to a scale that was not the same machine, bizarre.
View on Reddit #22721532

Estrellathestarfish@reddit

Yes, the staff will show you the technique for getting the scanner to actually scan, but there shouldn't be one! The technique should be that you show the scanner the barcode and it scans, not that you have to get it at juuuust the right angle, down to the degree.
View on Reddit #22714297

mikelward@reddit

What is the technique actually? On some of the machines I've found it works better if I hold the item further away from the scanner. But not on all of them at my local.
View on Reddit #22714580

milly48@reddit

Basically M&S have a normal barcode and another more complicated smaller barcode above that, for sales tracking and security purposes. The scanner will not register the item unless both barcodes are scanned at the same time, however sometimes it will only catch one barcode or another. The easiest way to remedy this is to hold the barcode as close as you can to the scanner, leave it there for a second or two, and then move it away into the bagging area. Works 99% of the time.
View on Reddit #22721516

Estrellathestarfish@reddit

You can see the red line from the scanner, you have to get the barcode *exactly* in that red line. It's ridiculous.
View on Reddit #22714799

Ch83az@reddit

Oh the ‘angle the can this way’ trick. No, I don’t want to become and M&S wizard, I just want to scan and go!
View on Reddit #22717326

Successful-Dare5363@reddit

I’d fuck them off and give people their jobs back.
View on Reddit #22757081

VixenRoss@reddit

Once I have finished scanning, please don’t set your basket down next to me and breathe down my neck while I am trying to pay. Don’t get offended because I’m not entering my pin because your standing next to me shoulder to shoulder. In other words… respect people’s space and let them finish.
View on Reddit #22710312

MonsieurTattyHeed@reddit

Omg this infuriates me, actually happened today. Insanely rude.
View on Reddit #22730363

VixenRoss@reddit

And yet, when you tell them to back away because you want to enter your pin, they take offence! Lol!
View on Reddit #22757035

Charlie_Yu@reddit

Get rid of fucking weight checks. So stupid. Wasting at least 1-2 minutes every checkout. Thieves don’t go through self checkout anyway so why are they punishing law abiding customers?
View on Reddit #22708951

ofjune-x@reddit

My work doesn’t have a scale, people still fuck it up by leaving their barcodes right under the scanner so it scans a million times or hold the barcodes right up against the scanner so it can’t read them.
View on Reddit #22726763

Charlie_Yu@reddit

Oh I don’t mean the scales, it is more about self-checkout refusing to scan the next item before the weight detector found the previously scanned item in the packing area. When I was in Hong Kong it was just scan scan scan scan pay. Like when I was scanning an item with one hand I would be grabbing the next item with another hand already. Then when the previous item was about to hit on the packing area, another item on the other hand would be already on the scanner. In UK it won’t work at all. I have to scan an item, put it in the bagging area, wait for it to be detected by the machine before I could even scan the next one. At least 3-5 more seconds per item and it is pretty annoying.
View on Reddit #22749625

ofjune-x@reddit

Yeah we don’t have a weight detector or anything you can just scan and hold onto it or put it into your bag or fling it into the floor it doesn’t matter haha
View on Reddit #22756888

TippleChasse92@reddit

Speaking as someone who works in a supermarket, I promise you that they do. I've seen it countless times
View on Reddit #22732597

yossanator@reddit

Make sure that the machines don't talk to you. I pop in Waitrose every now and then and am sick of being berated by a female computer that sounds like she went to Roedean, because of my complete inability to put things in the baggage area to her liking, apparently. It's dehumanising and does little for my self-esteem...
View on Reddit #22707065

arfur_narmful@reddit

There's a volume button at the bottom of most screens - press it & the volume goes up/down incrementally with a silence option. The button looks like either a dot or a loud speaker with curved lines increasing in size as they're moving away from the dot/LS.
View on Reddit #22756833

BrumGorillaCaper@reddit

Done of them you can mute or lower the volume
View on Reddit #22738754

UnimaginativeNameABC@reddit

The Tesco “YOU NEED HELP” one always makes me smile, though. (Apart from anything else, how can it tell?!)
View on Reddit #22721253

pullingteeths@reddit

The Poundland ones near any kind of "holiday" eg Christmas are the worst, they do these loud jolly greetings eg "Ho ho ho meeeerry Christmas" with sound effects that make me grit my teeth just hearing it once which must be hell for the staff hearing it over and over again all day.
View on Reddit #22708743

newtonbase@reddit

God I hate them. I don't need a comedy Elvis commenting on my shopping.
View on Reddit #22713694

MessiahOfMetal@reddit

Had a relative who worked in Poundland. Even the staff despise them.
View on Reddit #22716848

newtonbase@reddit

Poor sods have to listen to them all day.
View on Reddit #22718593

Pentax25@reddit

You can silence them in some supermarkets. In Sainsburys there’s a little button which looks like a speaker. Press that a few times and it’ll beep at different volumes so you can get it to shut up Although if you silence it and you get stuck an attendant might not hear your machine
View on Reddit #22713069

MessiahOfMetal@reddit

The Asda I go to has never had noises with their machines, just lights above them for when they're available or a staff member needs to fix some issue the machine has.
View on Reddit #22716946

MrOtto47@reddit

they hear them? i always have to wave them down anyway
View on Reddit #22716458

Pentax25@reddit

Well… They’re supposed to be loud for people to hear and rush to assist! Can’t speak for how often that is the case haha
View on Reddit #22716590

onewomanstorm@reddit

The little shop on my uni campus had two self checkouts that would read the name of each item as you scanned it. It felt like somebody reading your diary out loud, especially as it always seemed extra loud when it was packed and you were buying items you'd rather Not have some posh lady shouting out loud for everyone to hear.
View on Reddit #22712384

yossanator@reddit

"Two bottles of Vodka and a copy of Viz, ah, did I tell you about when I worked in the Swiss Alps, cooking for Elongy Mush, such a delight, blinkety bloop. Present your card. Oh, it's not Coutts..." Aaaaaaaargghhh
View on Reddit #22716915

Nice-Substance-gogo@reddit (OP)

‘Extra small condoms scanned’
View on Reddit #22713432

onionsofwar@reddit

Let me tell you that you can turn the sound off. It's lovely for a hangover.
View on Reddit #22713375

Theliminal@reddit

The Asda self scans used to have a speaker volume button, I used to mute them every shift.
View on Reddit #22713118

will8981@reddit

I got shouted at once for turning the volume down. I had a splitting headache and every boop was like a a knife into my brain. Lady comes running over like I'm there murdering puppies. If I'm not supposed to turn the volume down on the self service checkout, why is there a volume control option?
View on Reddit #22713046

nightmaresgrow@reddit

M&S had ant and Dec doing the voice over a few years ago. I don't want them talking to me as I scan my shopping.
View on Reddit #22711924

yossanator@reddit

I would seriously loose my shit if that happened. It boils my piss just sharing the planet with them...
View on Reddit #22712055

Puzzleheaded_Drink76@reddit

Most shops have a mute. First thing I do. Not all though 
View on Reddit #22711382

Not_Sugden@reddit

PLEASE SCAN YOUR ITEM. UNEXPECTES ITEM IN THE BAGGING AREA [everyone looks at you to check if you are stealing] PLEASE WAIT FOR A MEMBER OF STAFF [now everyone is intriguied and the staff member doesnt even check that you are legit and just authorises you] PLEASE INSERT CASH OR SELECT ANOTHER PAYMENT METHOD At my local poundland at christmas their machine was saying like HO HO HO and "Enjoy your presents" and like making gift wrapping jokes and shit
View on Reddit #22708309

lagoon83@reddit

The best one is Morrisons, which says SURPRISING ITEM IN BAGGING AREA. Like... Come on, machine. It's a bag of wotsits. Is it really *that* surprising?
View on Reddit #22710276

LoyalWatcher@reddit

"Shit, you're right! I bought beans!"
View on Reddit #22711245

ENTPrick@reddit

Wotsit gonna take to be surprising then you reckon?
View on Reddit #22710423

Charlie_Yu@reddit

CLUBCARD ACCEPTED
View on Reddit #22709046

Nice-Substance-gogo@reddit (OP)

My costa machine at the local shop now has a coffee shop noise mode that makes me want to destroy the machine!!
View on Reddit #22707153

yossanator@reddit

That's appalling. Who in the world thought that this would be a good thing? We're doomed as a species...
View on Reddit #22707438

Nice-Substance-gogo@reddit (OP)

It makes me want to cut my ears off.
View on Reddit #22708631

_Kyloluma_@reddit

Oh god that is so annoying. We all know that you aren't actually making good coffee back there
View on Reddit #22707956

Dr_Turb@reddit

I think I'd join OP and say one bagful maximum. Mostly because the self-service tills get in a tizzie when someone has to get out their second bag, involving lifting things off the scales and on again.
View on Reddit #22755711

VegetableWeekend6886@reddit

This is my biggest pet peeve. How long have we had self service in supermarkets? Ten years plus? Why do so many people still not know how to use them? You don’t have to stand there gormlessly until a staff member comes and leads you by the hand. Use your eyeballs!
View on Reddit #22755103

Yomi_Lemon_Dragon@reddit

Ban that bullshit layout where the only way to get out of the store is through the tills. Don't make me push my way through a queue just to leave when I'm not buying anything.
View on Reddit #22753731

ChillCommissar@reddit

One basket per customer / per checkout, no trolleys or multiple baskets (items carried are fine, but the premises would be put your basket down and that's your purchase in one weight) Card and cash accepted. A staff member will always be in attendance and ready to help, additional will be added considering demand and peak times, where applicable. Receipt must be taken to scan at exit to leave.
View on Reddit #22753378

AutomaticInitiative@reddit

No scales, they slow it down.
View on Reddit #22753214

gilobastard@reddit

Each individual one has to be manned so that the machines aren't taking people's jobs.
View on Reddit #22743779

Nice-Substance-gogo@reddit (OP)

What’s your view on atms?
View on Reddit #22752677

Scottdoesfitness@reddit

You should have to answer a riddle from the self service checkout goblin before you can proceed.
View on Reddit #22751525

TheMissingThink@reddit

Each one should have a full time employee standing next to it, to assist customers if they need help
View on Reddit #22751011

dbxp@reddit

Card only, the supermarket I go to has a mix of card/cash and card only machines and whenever someone wants to use cash they block the queue until one of the few machines which takes cash frees up Remove the charity donations prompts Remove the seasonal sound effects
View on Reddit #22708056

robjamez72@reddit

Or…make all machines card AND cash. For when the card payment system isn’t working.
View on Reddit #22715987

dbxp@reddit

Those machines take significantly more space and there's a reasonable chance the store would have to close anyway as whatever takes out the payment system is also likely to effect the JIT stock system.
View on Reddit #22719959

glasgowgeg@reddit

> Those machines take significantly more space Do they? The card only and cash/card machines in my local Tesco are the exact same machine like [these](https://i2-prod.hulldailymail.co.uk/incoming/article7376924.ece/ALTERNATES/s1200c/4_12042022-TescoStStephenstillclosurescontinue.jpg), the only difference is the card only one has a plastic cover where the coin slot would be.
View on Reddit #22748994

dbxp@reddit

They have those in big shops, I live in the city centre where they tend to use much smaller card only machines
View on Reddit #22749935

EbonyOverIvory@reddit

Seasonal sound effects?! What fresh hell is this? I haven’t encountered that one yet, and I’m not looking forward to it.
View on Reddit #22723774

dudeperson567@reddit

I wouldn’t mind the charity prompt if the supermarket offer to match the donation. They only do this so they can take our donations and publicise it as their own donation
View on Reddit #22713972

Puzzleheaded_Drink76@reddit

I swear M&S added a donation when I picked No the other week!
View on Reddit #22711919

Nonny-Mouse100@reddit

Member of staff at eash checkout
View on Reddit #22749848

norwegianjon@reddit

Scan your alcohol first
View on Reddit #22749098

bob-ombbattlefield@reddit

bag your fucking items as you scan them. don’t stand there taking up a machine fiddling about once you’ve paid
View on Reddit #22748511

Amoeba_Rough@reddit

There should be buttons to click so that they can weigh your bags and also buttons to click part way through so that you can remove bags when they are full because the packing area is smaller than trolleys. Also there should be a couple of checkouts with buggy spots next to them because if I position a buggy so it's not in the walkway then it's blocking another checkout and I just can't get it in a position where it's not in the way.
View on Reddit #22748485

glasgowgeg@reddit

>no trollies This annoys me at my local Tesco. There's a separate bank of larger self-scan machines for trollies, and it's always empty, with folk queueing at the basket ones with a massive BASKETS ONLY sign at it, because they trollies only one are all card only. The staff at the basket only one don't give a fuck, whilst the staff at the trollies only one are militant jobsworths who'll refuse to let you use them with a basket, even when there's 4 free and nobody queueing.
View on Reddit #22748434

EquivalentIsopod7717@reddit

I'd like them to actually be self-service. There's nothing like using the scanner gun, going to the self-service checkouts and the machine them tells you we need to scan 14 random items. You're dead of old age before someone is available to help you.
View on Reddit #22709818

ace_master@reddit

I've given up on Sainsburys Smartshop. If they don't trust me enough to properly scan things and want to rifle through my packed bags every time then I'm not interested in saving them till staff cost. Only manned tills for me from now on.
View on Reddit #22711363

Public-Fisherman-205@reddit

I have used SmartShop exactly once and it was because I had a voucher for a fiver off if I used it. Went round with my basket scanning, came to the area to pay, all good. Then had to crouch on the dirty floor and put my shopping in my rucksack because there weren't any tables nearby! I get that you ideally would be bagging as you go but I use my rucksack wherever possible to save on waste.
View on Reddit #22718155

bacon_cake@reddit

Just put it in your rucksack as you shop. I do this all the time and although I've had some dodgy looks from security I've never been stopped, even though I'm *longing* to be stopped for the drama lol.
View on Reddit #22746501

Public-Fisherman-205@reddit

That’s madman behavior!
View on Reddit #22748003

ace_master@reddit

I use rucksacks too. Smartshop really is designed for trolley use and that’s what I (used to) do - bag my shopping in my rucksacks on the trolley as I shop.
View on Reddit #22718390

Public-Fisherman-205@reddit

Ah that’s a fair point. I don’t think I have ever used a trolley tbf
View on Reddit #22718433

TequilaSlammed@reddit

I can't remember where but I've seen on another Reddit post tips about why it's flagging you for rescans, from what I recall: - Scanning items away from their shelf location (think chucking all your bakery items in but not scanning until you get to the freezers) - Removing items - Failing any previous rescans Once I started scanning my items as soon as I picked them up I saw a drastic drop in my rescans!
View on Reddit #22717070

b0neappleteeth@reddit

I’ve only ever been searched once, and that was my first time.
View on Reddit #22740329

londons_explorer@reddit

Ya know, if their risk model decides you're low risk, then you only get checked like once a year. You probably used a Monzo or revolut card to pay right?   That's an automatic red flag for most risk models.
View on Reddit #22739499

skelly890@reddit

lol no. I’d just empty the bags and walk.
View on Reddit #22715170

Sp3lllz@reddit

Definitely an item limit you should use scan as you shop or a normal till if you have more than 10 items. Related side note but my local Tesco put 4 tills near the meal deal area but after a few months they locked them out every time I go in please bring this back would save so much time when i have literally 3 items.
View on Reddit #22747621

DubiousVirtue@reddit

I really don't understand people who use self checkouts rather than self scan. OK, so you have to have a clubcard, but is your purchase history so valuable that you are willing to pay higher prices?
View on Reddit #22747272

Primary_Control_5871@reddit

People with a basket full of healthy foods should get to queue jump in front of people with a basket full of bad foods. Healthy people are superior and should be rewarded for it.
View on Reddit #22746562

Nice-Substance-gogo@reddit (OP)

It’s not cute for your kid to scan the items slowly either!! I hate that.
View on Reddit #22706831

dgshotuk@reddit

ah come on, this is like getting annoyed at learner drivers, we're training the speed scanners of the future.... (from Dad that lets his kid scan)
View on Reddit #22711001

Upstairs_Cloud_117@reddit

Think it depends on the time When there's hardly anyone In the shop = fine When it's busy and there's 20 people waiting = not fine
View on Reddit #22712262

CorpusCalossum@reddit

I let my daughter scan 1 or 2 items, not the whole shop.
View on Reddit #22746401

gyroda@reddit

Yeah, just like how you wouldn't take a learner driver out for their first lesson in rush hour on a main commuter route
View on Reddit #22724485

Upstairs_Cloud_117@reddit

My dad always said that there should be an out of the way place where they take leaners to just understand how to drive a car without anyone around
View on Reddit #22724592

FighterJock412@reddit

At the risk of sounding like a bit of a dick.. Shops make me super anxious. I want nothing else in the world than to get in and out as quickly and stress free as possible. I don't give a shit about your kid, I want to pay for my stuff and get the hell out. (I don't know exactly why shops make me anxious, it was never an issue up until about 2 or 3 years ago, but now it makes dealing with supermarkets a pretty big deal for me)
View on Reddit #22720997

bacon_cake@reddit

>I don't give a shit about your kid I mean they why would they give a shit about you either if that's the foundation on which we're building...
View on Reddit #22745955

StardewObsessive@reddit

I’m now imagining this kid on his first trial shift at Aldi just cracking his knuckles and declaring that he was born for this.
View on Reddit #22711421

megan99katie@reddit

The morrisons near me have a 'kids till' every so often where kids can sit behind the till and scan their parents shopping. A much better idea than letting them attempt it at the self check out!
View on Reddit #22741210

namur17056@reddit

God forbid a child is happy for a moment!
View on Reddit #22740532

Pentax25@reddit

In fact here’s my rule - No kids in this area at all. They either insist on scanning everything slowly, run around and get in the way, or sit/lean on the bagging area ruining the weight and making people take longer. Had a kid the other day just kept holding on to my bagging area while he watched his mum scan her stuff
View on Reddit #22713184

MessiahOfMetal@reddit

> In fact here’s my rule - No kids ~~in this area~~ at all Fixed for my own personal version of it.
View on Reddit #22717164

karma3001@reddit

r/childfree
View on Reddit #22719930

HypedUpJackal@reddit

reddit moment
View on Reddit #22718572

Pentax25@reddit

Much better tbf
View on Reddit #22717474

StardewObsessive@reddit

Oh god THIS! I have witnessed this on Xmas Eve of all bloody days. I came in for two last minute items. Wanted to get in and get out. And there’s a dad teaching a three year old how to use the self check out. And he was doing that thing of looking around at other shoppers and smiling as if we’re all supposed to be sharing in the joy of watching his kid scanning packs of biscuits at a glacial pace and giving him an award for being Number 1 Dad. No objection to you teaching your kid something but read the room.
View on Reddit #22709138

EquivalentIsopod7717@reddit

Some young kid once decided to touch and press down onto the weighing area where I was loading up my stuff. It triggered a warning which meant I then had to wait 40 years for the solo member of staff to help me.
View on Reddit #22709669

base73@reddit

Can't blame a child for that. Absolutely CAN blame the parents though, who should then be forced to pay for your shopping before being given a lifetime ban!
View on Reddit #22719160

StardewObsessive@reddit

Bloody hell.
View on Reddit #22711463

MessiahOfMetal@reddit

> read the room Sounds like he'd slowly teach his kid how to do that, too. "Can you count how many pissed off shoppers are behind us? There's ooone..... Twoooo..."
View on Reddit #22717046

StardewObsessive@reddit

This made me laugh.
View on Reddit #22717196

Imaginary_Fox_8795@reddit

Speaking from experience, the smile was likely trying (badly) to convey, *”I know this is taking ages and is holding you up and I’m super sorry and suitably embarrassed, but I’m actually saving you from having to endure a ridiculously obnoxious tantrum if <name> doesn’t get to scan their own Lunchable. If it helps I’m not having a good time here either.”*
View on Reddit #22712291

StardewObsessive@reddit

You know? I hadn’t considered that perspective. Doesn’t make it less annoying of a situation to be in for all concerned but does provide a logical explanation. Thank you for providing a new perspective.
View on Reddit #22712517

ALittleGoat@reddit

I think with the lack of responsible parenting this looks annoying, but I'm glad of parents who do this. They'll only have to teach them about 10 times and the kid will have the hang of it. It's a small price to pay as a society
View on Reddit #22713793

StardewObsessive@reddit

I mean, any other day of the year and I’m up for that. Xmas eve, less so. I am aware that this makes me a massive grinch.
View on Reddit #22716578

Nice-Substance-gogo@reddit (OP)

Love to have seen your face!!
View on Reddit #22709217

StardewObsessive@reddit

I went full Wednesday Addams.
View on Reddit #22709490

Eiblism@reddit

Even better when there is alcohol involved and the 'parent' says it's ok for their 3 year old to tap their credit card
View on Reddit #22715646

Theliminal@reddit

It's very convenient though, "what's that, I only paid for half my shopping?...oh the child scanned them through haha that must've why, whoops!"
View on Reddit #22713299

HixaLupa@reddit

I thought 10 items or less, no trollies was already a rule? My tesco has a separate trolly self scan area to try to split these groups. I detest the self scan so I go for the staff checkout. I know i'm annoying cos I buy loose fruit but I'd rather someone who's being paid to be there faff about trying to get the scales to be happy with my apples. The scales never work right so I always need staff assistance and then I'm so sweaty and cross from all the farting about so I just binned it off, never see me doing the weekly shop on one
View on Reddit #22746220

IronBeegle@reddit

cannot spend more that the tap and go allows. So tired of oaps trying to figure out how to use a chip and pin, that they musta used 1000s of times.
View on Reddit #22745854

oojiflip@reddit

Stop requiring assistance for energy drinks. It's fucking insane that at 19 I have to sit there for a minute for them to scan it through
View on Reddit #22745791

shokalion@reddit

I don't care what people do on the self checkouts as long as there's a Scan and Go style system (that works) in the shop. I've not been through a proper till at my local supermarket for probably two years at this point. Go round, scan stuff as you're going, bag it as you're going, scan the QR code at the end, pay, done. Effortless even in comparison to a normal self checkout and not even on the same planet as queuing up with the pensioners at the manned checkouts.
View on Reddit #22742332

Askduds@reddit

I'm astonished it took me several hundred comments to find this. It solves literally every problem. And because I've used it a lot I get checked maybe twice a year at this point and it's only a quick scan of 5 items.
View on Reddit #22745751

Salt-Evidence-6834@reddit

If it's a card only checkout then it probably doesn't need to ask what payment method you're wanting to use.
View on Reddit #22713640

Askduds@reddit

At the risk of ruining this, the "Card only" ones also accept gift cards which in Tesco you scan and Sainsburys you swipe rather than tap so it does still have to ask.
View on Reddit #22745527

Nice-Substance-gogo@reddit (OP)

So true!!!
View on Reddit #22714002

justabean27@reddit

I just want a warning that an item has a tag on it. I use smartshop in Sainsbury's so I don't scan anything at the self checkout, and so many times I forgot to ask the tag to be removed
View on Reddit #22745327

Eight_Bits_@reddit

Scanned items go straight into the bags (either store ones or ones you’ve brought yourself from home) on the weigh scale. It’s infuriating watching someone scan every item, pay, and then spend another few minutes taking their stuff off of the scale and putting it in their bags.
View on Reddit #22744989

G-unit32@reddit

You have to pass an IQ test before being allowed to use one. The amount of people that fuck up the simple act of scanning their own shopping is mind blowing.
View on Reddit #22744300

Trick_Battle4851@reddit

Is it trollies or trolleys…? Autocorrect says it’s the latter but your question now has me wondering
View on Reddit #22743149

Phat-Lines@reddit

Problem with gatekeeping the self checkouts is that so many shops these days quite a bit more space dedicated to self check out than they do to the traditional staff operated check outs. Yes it’s annoying when someone is slow on the self checkout. But some people have capability issues, disabilities, learning difficulties, poor dexterity due to illness etc. Can be quite hard to tell what someone has going on.
View on Reddit #22739318

Silhouette@reddit

Went to big Tesco around 9pm last night. There was one real checkout open out of dozens with one hero staff member on the till trying to get everyone through as quickly as possible and apologising to everyone for the wait because the queue had at least 4-5 full trolleys waiting every time I saw it. Meanwhile there were four staff apparently supervising the self checkout area but again it was one hero helping almost everyone whose machine was complaining about something and three who seemed to be mostly chatting about non-work stuff. I was expecting this whole discussion to be about rules for shops before they're allowed to use self checkouts. I don't think I've ever seen one I'd choose to use voluntarily if there was any alternative available. They just range from mildly annoying to completely infuriating. Many of the problems with customers that people are complaining about here could have been solved with better designed self checkouts but basically all of them aren't a problem in the first place with real checkouts staffed by trained operators.
View on Reddit #22743110

gothkxttn@reddit

Idk if it’s just my local Tesco but SCAN MY CLUBCARD!! Takes me twice as long to check out because it just won’t scan
View on Reddit #22743095

JASH_DOADELESS_@reddit

If the shop had self scan either via a phone app or the handheld scanners, you must use them. Also for the store, if you’ve gone to all of the effort of letting me scan stuff via the app, let me pay via the app too. I don’t see why I need to go to the self checkout at Sainsbury’s with my completed shopping, scan a qr code, wait for the list to hit the self checkout, click pay, wait for the bag popup, click no, click credit card, wait for the card machine to wake up, then pay with my phones NFC anyway. just incorporate apple and google pay into your app fgs. It’d make your Christmas and other busy periods a lot nicer for the customer and easier for the staff.
View on Reddit #22743023

Ham0nRyy@reddit

When there is a couple, but the spare person not doing anything just stands and watches instead of bagging. Bonus points if it’s not even at a self checkout like how I witnessed some old mans wife watch him doing everything instead of packing the bag, then when he paid she had the nerve to come over and say “you’re so unorganised” because all the stuff was piled up not bagged yet when she just stood there and watched.
View on Reddit #22742645

JessicaSmithStrange@reddit

Do not allow me to operate one unsupervised, under any circumstances. I'm the person who takes 10 tries to get the barcode, only for the system to either crash or start calling for help. I don't think I've ever gotten through a self checkout, without doing something very wrong.
View on Reddit #22715969

throwmeinthettrash@reddit

I would hate you but I love your humility and found this pretty funny lol I wouldn't actually hate you, I just can't cope with people not grasping simple things
View on Reddit #22727116

JessicaSmithStrange@reddit

I do tend to be quite scatter brained, and leave a trail of carnage everywhere I go. Trying to make toast without putting anything in the toaster, nearly getting knocked out by a flying Ketchup bottle, forgetting to carry money when I want to go shopping, those sorts of things. I get distracted and screw up basic tasks, or in the case of the Asda self checkout, it sees me coming and shuts itself down straight away.
View on Reddit #22742540

FlibV1@reddit

When the light on a stick thing turns amber or red, the staff walk over and sort it out.
View on Reddit #22742491

SushiSaahimi@reddit

the no trollies rule would have to be dependent, because if you get one or two big items, then I think it should be allowed.
View on Reddit #22742368

Oghamstoner@reddit

If the machine fails three times, your shop is free.
View on Reddit #22742238

ItzKINGcringe@reddit

No trollies and don’t bring your twenty prams in, clogging up the space so we can’t move
View on Reddit #22706438

Deadened_ghosts@reddit

No trollies in the trolley only section of self checkouts...
View on Reddit #22741911

jxjxjxjdjdkdkd@reddit

The people who bring a trolley in and then take FOREVER as they have to balance their monthly shop into a tower on the scale and things keep falling off arghhhhhh
View on Reddit #22707886

stemmo33@reddit

Does my head in. You'll save plenty of time by just going to the bloody till ffs
View on Reddit #22740566

kelleehh@reddit

Some do it on purpose so they can steal.
View on Reddit #22710132

jxjxjxjdjdkdkd@reddit

Ah ok, that I'm fine with
View on Reddit #22721155

Nice-Substance-gogo@reddit (OP)

How dumb are these guys!
View on Reddit #22709701

not_mean_enough@reddit

And WTF are you supposed to do if none of the normal checkouts are open?
View on Reddit #22713199

ItzKINGcringe@reddit

Ask the staff, they’d be happy to help and open one!
View on Reddit #22727781

rem90mer@reddit

The member of staff helping on the self checkouts should be next to the self checkouts, not having a chat 30 metres away
View on Reddit #22741728

SketchbookProtest@reddit

The checkout isn’t the time to let your toddler help you if you know your toddler is going to have a tantrum, throw everything everywhere while you just stand there watching or all you have to say is, “Come on, Emily. This isn’t how we help mummy.”
View on Reddit #22741483

sebasaurus_rex@reddit

If you can't wait an extra minute to check out because someone ahead of you is struggling with the self checkout, then you need to spend that time to reflect on why you're in such a hurry. It's not the fault of the person ahead of you. They are just trying to get through their day the best they can...
View on Reddit #22741220

bigfriendlycommisar@reddit

1:don't be a twat* *if confused, please refer to rule 1
View on Reddit #22741203

Cordolium102@reddit

I'd remove them, more often than not there's problems. Problem is places like Aldi chuck your shopping at you do people tend to use the self checkouts there.
View on Reddit #22741054

NekoFever@reddit

People who scan everything through, pay, and then stand there for five minutes bagging it up will be fired into the sun.
View on Reddit #22740528

EddieOfDoom@reddit

If an item doesn’t scan and you have to call for assistance, under no circumstances are you ever allowed to joke that it’s free. Lifetime ban.
View on Reddit #22709167

b0neappleteeth@reddit

And if you do joke, you get hung drawn and quartered
View on Reddit #22740158

Brendan110_0@reddit

Tax them like a human.
View on Reddit #22740006

TraceyMoss@reddit

2per cent discounts for training on how to use them
View on Reddit #22739814

Asmov1984@reddit

Easy, stop, fucking, stealing.
View on Reddit #22739746

simplyfeeling@reddit

Learn the difference between ‘less’ and ‘fewer’.
View on Reddit #22739534

simplyfeeling@reddit

Put “carrots” on the home screen.
View on Reddit #22739506

Apidium@reddit

All of them need to turn down their volume by at least 50% and their brightness by at lest 20%. They are painfully loud and PLACE THE ITEM IN THE BAGGING AREA moments later followed by UNEXPECTED ITEM IN THE BAGGING AREA is just not conducive to like having a peaceful life.
View on Reddit #22708037

sbdart31@reddit

Agreed and Morrisons is really bad for this. It shouts "CARD NOT ACCEPTED" when it wants you to put your pin in instead of contactless, it's slightly embarrassing because I'm thinking I know I have money in my account but what if that is someone who is struggling and now Morrisons is announcing it to everyone in the store
View on Reddit #22710195

londons_explorer@reddit

They say that one super loud because staff are supposed to go 'help' (Ie. Verify you don't just steal the goods without paying because your card isn't working)
View on Reddit #22739423

amarkey10@reddit

The co op ones are terrible for this, how can they be so loud?? Due to this I’m always checking my bank account balance before checking out as I don’t want the machine to announce I’m a skint bastard (cost of living crisis) 😭
View on Reddit #22718428

-Dueck-@reddit

They are insanely loud the whole time, then right at the end the quietest ever, almost imperceptible whisper of "would you like a receipt?"
View on Reddit #22724685

will8981@reddit

Some have a volume control and I got yelled at for using it. It's right there on the screen lady, I've not hacked the system.
View on Reddit #22713222

SoggyWotsits@reddit

I always change the Morrisons ones. There’s one particular checkout that reverts back to full volume at random though. There’s another that only works when someone kicks it. It’s been like it for about a year and has dents and scuff marks on the front.
View on Reddit #22717701

MessiahOfMetal@reddit

I've not had bright screens or speakers at the ones I use but the biggest crime is when they have those security screens like ATMs do that show how fucking haggard you look after a long day and an annoying shopping trip.
View on Reddit #22717292

Apidium@reddit

I hate those with a passion. At least like show it to someone on a screen with all the rest of them instead of just making my ugly face 4x larger than it actually is.
View on Reddit #22717423

hanni_lou@reddit

We used to live above a Co-op where the staff frequently failed to turn the checkouts off when they closed up for the night. I could hear it in our bedroom and it got to the point where I often wasn't sure if I was actually hearing it or it was a phantom memory.
View on Reddit #22717030

Pentax25@reddit

You can silence them in some supermarkets. In Sainsburys there’s a little button which looks like a speaker. Press that a few times and it’ll beep at different volumes so you can get it to shut up Although if you silence it and you get stuck an attendant might not hear your machine
View on Reddit #22713217

HappyVibesForver@reddit

Have them say expected item in packing area with every scanned item put down
View on Reddit #22739378

FluffyMumbles@reddit

Not a rule as such, but if I was in charge I'd change the "traffic lights" scheme to actually indicate something logical... Red - "Help, I need some assistance". Amber - "In use by a customer, nothing to see here". Green - "Available. Next customer, please" Instead of the current mess that causes confusion. None of the supermarkets seem to agree on a scheme. Most of them use green to indicate when a scanner is in use OR free for the next customer!
View on Reddit #22739264

plumbgray222@reddit

No fat people with trolleys
View on Reddit #22739040

FakeAfterEight@reddit

All supermarkets should adopt the Decathlon approach. In Decathlon there’s no scanning individual items. You just drop all your items into a box and it just knows what’s in there - no beeping, no scanning, no passing to the side for weighing - just a list of your items on screen showing prices. Pay and off you go.
View on Reddit #22720323

Nice-Substance-gogo@reddit (OP)

I have no idea how it works but I love it!!
View on Reddit #22738448

GBParragon@reddit

If a member of staff can’t come and clear my fault, error, age check or whatever within 1 minute I get my shopping free!
View on Reddit #22737879

No-Play2726@reddit

If you have a full cart go to a regular checkout.
View on Reddit #22737376

Fun_Level_7787@reddit

>no trollies Many Lidls have this rule already, it's basket only. The big supermarkets get around that by having trolley self check outs tbh. Mine isn't a rule as such but upgrade the bloody OS that they run on! Best believe many self checkouts actually run on windows XP in 2024!!!!! Which explains why they breakdown so much. Big tech companies are incredibly behind, it's laughable (mum works in tech so she sees and hears about it all the time).
View on Reddit #22736892

snoo_kerman@reddit

How often are you all using these things that a minute or 2 is causing you this much hassle smh
View on Reddit #22735517

SomeGuyInShanghai@reddit

Hourly salary of a checkout attendant is deducted from your final bill.
View on Reddit #22734786

AnriRB26@reddit

If you decide you want to register for a Clubcard when you are at the self checkout with a queue behind you instead of the 40 minutes you had spent shopping then you will be ejected. Seriously there are adverts on every isle and special price tags for Clubcard members yet you decide to register NOW!?? And then they need you to walk you through entering their own details, and better yet get mad about how bad the Wi-Fi is. SMH
View on Reddit #22733921

adultangstisreal@reddit

The number of people that try to scan their items on one that is turned off or restarting baffles me. (I work in retail). Some people are too stupid to use them and should just go to the manned tills.
View on Reddit #22713116

ofjune-x@reddit

We get people trying to use a manned till (with no staff standing behind it) like it’s self service at least 3 times a day. The screen is turned away from them, they have to reach across the counter to grab the scanner that was also facing away from them. And they act so offended and confused when you tell them that’s not a self-scan till but just a regular till… some will even turn the screen round and it still doesn’t click when it says “employee log in/password”.
View on Reddit #22726920

adultangstisreal@reddit

Omg some customers are just fucking idiots. There is no hope if this what the majority of the country are like haha
View on Reddit #22733903

Downtown-Nectarine49@reddit

A human member of staff has to stand there and scan your items through it for you
View on Reddit #22732295

woollyyellowduck@reddit

Prohibited 🚫. Manned checkouts only.
View on Reddit #22731499

Appropriate-Bad-9379@reddit

Get rid of them!
View on Reddit #22731411

Loose_Orange6439@reddit

Have someone to scan my shopping for me.
View on Reddit #22730685

Gnarly_314@reddit

Considering my daughter's ex, I would have cameras closely monitoring the customer's scanning. Show that the bag you are using is empty before placing it onto the packing area. The camera records every item as it is scanned to protect the shop from thefts and the customers from false accusations of theft.
View on Reddit #22730577

MonsieurTattyHeed@reddit

If you stand and stare at one that's obviously out of order, or you don't select the "use my own bag" option then blame the machine because the weights messed up, banned for life. I swear to god people's intelligence halves when they enter a supermarket.
View on Reddit #22730219

Imperterritus0907@reddit

I’d forbid using it in couples. I swear to god it seems to take twice as long when you have 2 idiots one scanning, one bagging. It’s like they’re building a rocket or something.
View on Reddit #22729180

ds-ds2-ds3@reddit

Card only, keep it quick.. Not. Cue for self checkout. Then a waiting line of people at the front of the cue waiting for a cash self checkout.
View on Reddit #22728162

Vyvyansmum@reddit

If you comment “ I’m doing your job for you….” at the SCO supervisor you should pay a 10% surcharge. You . Are. Fucking.Not.
View on Reddit #22714296

ofjune-x@reddit

It’s always the customers who are totally incompetent at using them as well. Sorry Jeff but you’d actually be let go from the company if you were this bad at your job that you needed help 5 times in one transaction.
View on Reddit #22728066

itsheadfelloff@reddit

If you have a trolley, go in the trolley self serve; if you have a hand basket, go in the basket self serve. If you can't figure that out you get taken to a manned till with the longest queue.
View on Reddit #22727963

RobertTheSpruce@reddit

A member of staff should be within 5 meters of all self checkouts.
View on Reddit #22727960

Buttcrackmuffin@reddit

10% discount if you use self checkout.
View on Reddit #22727923

TheBestThingIEverSaw@reddit

I get a 25% discount if I have to scan my own stuff
View on Reddit #22724501

ofjune-x@reddit

That’s higher than the staff discount in my work lol
View on Reddit #22727845

if_im_not_back_in_5@reddit

Self checkouts can only be used if there are at least twice as many human operated tills as there are self checkouts.
View on Reddit #22727098

frowawayakounts@reddit

My local store the staff who work the self checkouts just stand around talking whilst there’s loads of red lights for their attention. I have to walk up to them and ask them to approve my sale because I’m buying redbull. I wish they would just focus on their jobs so I wouldn’t have to stand around waiting. The whole point of the self checkout is to be quick and go.
View on Reddit #22712051

Nice-Substance-gogo@reddit (OP)

I like the stores where they have an iPad to approve so can do it from far away!
View on Reddit #22713301

throwmeinthettrash@reddit

I thought the machine just fixed itself until I remembered I literally learned about self checkouts in my IT course lol.
View on Reddit #22726818

GrandDuty3792@reddit

A brief (perhaps 3 question) IQ test upon entry to the shop. If you fail, you can’t use self-checkout. The amount of stupid people that hold up the queue is frightening
View on Reddit #22709516

Vyvyansmum@reddit

I had a lady with obvious learning disabilities who used them perfectly today. Slow the fuck down & READ the instructions is all that’s needed. Read - don’t- assume.
View on Reddit #22715421

ofjune-x@reddit

Yep people who actually read/listen or ask how it works get on fine. I’ve had 90+ year olds manage, toddlers etc. it’s the people who cannot be told what to do by a machine (or me as the assistant) who constantly have problems with them. They won’t even look at the screen to read any instructions and they may as well be covering their ears to avoid hearing the spoken instructions. These are also the people who struggle at a manned till though because they want to smack their debit card off the reader before the assistant has even scanned any of their items.
View on Reddit #22726588

Estrellathestarfish@reddit

No, not an IQ test, very clever people can be very stupid at practical things. You should be specifically tested on using the self check out machines, including advanced skills such as entering the barcode when the teeny label on a piece of fruit inevitably doesn't scan.
View on Reddit #22714477

newtonbase@reddit

I'm all for a full on licensing system. If we can keep the dumb people out I might be able to get from one end of an aisle to the other without unnecessary obstructions.
View on Reddit #22714133

Nice-Substance-gogo@reddit (OP)

With no natural predators people are free to be as stupid as they want to be.
View on Reddit #22709591

rleejack03@reddit

Get rid of the card only ones. Or at least segregate the queue between card only payers and cash payers. It is so annoying the queue being shuffled around if there is a card only machine free and the person/people at the front of the queue are paying cash. Also this might be something for the future but I hope eventually the machines can have facial recognition good enough so that you can just scan ur id and compare it to your face to confirm your age instead of waiting for someone (All self service machines have a camera filiming u btw)
View on Reddit #22726186

Icy_Hippo@reddit

Trollies do my head in, I really think they should just be express only, get someone with a trolly AND doesn't know how to work it...god help me. I used to be a checkout person as a teenager, maybe I understand more? I dunno, I try to go to a person if can, I also treat it like an F1 pitstop, get in, get out quick, people are waiting. The couples who both need to do the scanning and touching the screen and having a chat, get out of there!
View on Reddit #22725949

charlescorn@reddit

Rules for supermarkets: - make the barcode BIG - not hiding away next to a logo or weird shape. And make them all look the same - barcodes on those crinkly plastic vegetable bags - sort it out so they scan first time, instead of after 27 attempts (and I get product for free after 5 legit attempts) - make it clear where basket goes and where bagging area is. eg big picture of shopping basket = put basket here / big picture of bag full of shopping = bagging area. How hard is that? - enough of the requests for charity donations on screen. I don't want another screen to go through. - confusing screens about bags - if I want a bag, I'll scan it. I don't need another screen to tell me how many bags I wanted to buy or whatever it's asking me. - weighing fruit and veg: I've put it on the damn scale already! Stop asking me to put it there! It's there!
View on Reddit #22725921

Crinkez@reddit

As a customer I would like them to be bigger so that I can do my full week's shopping without needing to bother any staff. I definitely would not want any item number restrictions.
View on Reddit #22725795

Global_Juggernaut683@reddit

Shoplifting is ok when you scan it yourself.
View on Reddit #22725789

thatblondeyouhate@reddit

The tesco near my work has 2 sides, you scan and put your items to the left for the weighing/bagging section. This seems clear but the rows are very long and you would not believe how many people put their stuff on the wrong side. Which causes the machine to tell people to put the item in the bagging area. Which prompts people to stand and wait for a nonexistent member of staff to come help. I've had people put their stuff on my side which makes both our machines shout at us and then they look at me like I'm the problem. Say it with me Tesco- dividers!
View on Reddit #22707172

MJLDat@reddit

The problem is, that one has the nagging bit on the left, but the next one will have them in the right, and there is very little to tell you which side to put them on.
View on Reddit #22725582

marktuk@reddit

Self checkouts were one of the few things that worked better during COVID, they were all nicely spaced apart with dividers between them.
View on Reddit #22711836

LaurenJoanna@reddit

I wouldn't make rules for the customers, but I would like to make a rule that all of them should have a volume up/down button that can be accessed by customers. Some of them do and that's great, or some have a mute button, but some I've found to be so loud and I can't change it.
View on Reddit #22725511

JoinMyPestoCult@reddit

I’d make it so the area you’re supposed to put your scanned items the same colour in every shop so it’s super clear which side is which. And then we’d all know the blue area is for your scanned items no matter where we are.
View on Reddit #22705396

MJLDat@reddit

Tescos is a nightmare for it. Is it the one on the left? The right? Top shelf? Bottom shelf? Nobody knows.
View on Reddit #22725424

OctopusIntellect@reddit

They could also fix that by, when the screen says "put item in bagging area", it has a big arrow pointing at the bagging area. I imagine the reason they haven't done that, is because they would mess it up half the time, because the software developers aren't even sure which side is which (or whether it's higher or lower) because (as you say) *it's not intuitive*. If it's so easy, they would've done it already...
View on Reddit #22718371

Sea_Coast9517@reddit

My local supermarket has an arrow pointing to the bagging area... and it's pointing the same direction on both rows of tills which are opposite each other, meaning it's pointing the wrong way on half of them.
View on Reddit #22719679

EbonyOverIvory@reddit

So you’re saying it’s *right* half the time?
View on Reddit #22723300

FunkulousThe55th@reddit

Are you really struggling distinguishing?
View on Reddit #22706671

ExoticExchange@reddit

Yes, because some of the smaller machines have the bagging area beneath and others to the side, both left and right. It's not necessarily intuitive.
View on Reddit #22707124

FunkulousThe55th@reddit

It is intuitive. I can’t believe people find this difficult
View on Reddit #22707488

ExoticExchange@reddit

No one is saying it’s difficult, just that it’s not intuitive. It isn’t intuitive if the place to put scanned items is beneath the machine. Intuitiveness (to me at least) is having the items placed next to the scanner and going right to left or left to right. The moment there is vertical movement it becomes very unintuitive particularly if the space to put scanned items is small.
View on Reddit #22707989

FunkulousThe55th@reddit

Fair enough. I never realised “not being bewildered by a self service checkout” was a superpower of mine
View on Reddit #22709767

nl325@reddit

So I used to think like you, then I went to co op self serve, it's fucking woeful. Not hard, but as said, not intuitive. Nor is the queue system, or lack thereof, but where they've put everything is just bewildering.
View on Reddit #22711251

Cloielle@reddit

M&S and Waitrose are a bit weird as well, though I appreciate them not having scales to weigh things out.
View on Reddit #22712507

JoinMyPestoCult@reddit

How is it intuitive to be right to left in one shop and left to right in a different shop? What’s the intuitive part?
View on Reddit #22709014

AnselaJonla@reddit

Or having the basket shelf above where you put scanned items.
View on Reddit #22709896

stinky-farter@reddit

It certainly isn't intuitive in many places. That's fact
View on Reddit #22708576

JoinMyPestoCult@reddit

Sometimes it’s left to right, sometimes it right to left, it’s not always labelled, sometimes one’s higher or lower, it’s not always clear. They just have different textures and that’s about it. You don’t know until the screen says “place in bagging area”.
View on Reddit #22707523

Nice-Substance-gogo@reddit (OP)

To be fair I have been confused with those one where you scan as you go.
View on Reddit #22706971

Sad-Garage-2642@reddit

The instructions are very clear. Scan Pay Go
View on Reddit #22707220

Phil1889Blades@reddit

Terrifying.
View on Reddit #22706363

MJLDat@reddit

Massive red fucking flashing light above it, with a number saying who is first, and staff that will attend to you in order when you have a restricted item.
View on Reddit #22725346

-Dueck-@reddit

Make the red lights 50 times brighter and include an ear-splittingly loud siren. If staff still ignore you the alarms get brighter and louder until the whole shop explodes.
View on Reddit #22725103

ADMINlSTRAT0R@reddit

Thou shall not steal.
View on Reddit #22724421

klc81@reddit

Let us have some sort of ID we can scan to buy age restricted items without waiting 5 minutes for someone to grudgingly verify for one item and vanish in apuff of smoke before the screen asks them to verfiy the second.
View on Reddit #22724417

Badlydressedgirl@reddit

I’m allowed to not pay for one in every three products.
View on Reddit #22723563

Weillys@reddit

Remove all scales
View on Reddit #22723531

darybrain@reddit

SCAN THE BARCODE OFF MY PHONE APP SO I CAN EITHER GET THE POINTS OR PAY BY POINTS, YOU BASTARD! Takes flipping ages if it ever does work. It's annoying af and wastes my time and everyone behind me.
View on Reddit #22723439

Gregs_green_parrot@reddit

In my local Tesco at night none of the tills are staffed so I have to use a self check-out, and I make a point of going at night since I have autism and do not like busy places. Restricting me to 15 items means I would have to pay, shop some more, pay again, shop some more etc until I had bought all my weekly shopping.
View on Reddit #22722893

yojifer680@reddit

Everyone who scans their own groceries gets a discount, since they're saving the shop money. Let the people who use the old fashioned manned checkout pay the extra cost.
View on Reddit #22722744

Seasidedan@reddit

That you should get discount for using them. I don’t work for Tesco, they’re paying someone else £11 an hour to do it for me so why would I use one.
View on Reddit #22722657

MDK1980@reddit

They'd all work.
View on Reddit #22722485

cloud1445@reddit

If i touch my card to rhe card reader, figure out that I want to pay, with a card. Don’t make me press a bunch of buttons just take my money and let me leave.
View on Reddit #22722447

Affectionate-Cost525@reddit

If the store is going to place barcodes in a way that makes them hard/impossible for the machines to detect then we should just get the item for free. Just some examples: If you sell a multi box of baby wipes and put three different bar codes on it, the two most notable ones being "invalid" because they're for delivery/storage purposes etc then I'm just going to put the box on the floor next to the till and take it afterwards. If the barcode is printed on foil which is then wrapped and folded over on itself so I've got to carefully unwrap the packaging to straighten out the barcode just so the machine can read it... im likely to just say fuck it and not even bother scanning it. Especially when half the time the foil ends up tearing and makes everything even harder. Think individual Cadburys Cream Eggs. If the actual barcode itself doesn't work and I've got to type out the 20+ digit barcode number whilst continuously double checking throughout to make sure I'm not going to accidentally ring up another product and cause even more work for the clearly overworked checkout assistant... then I should just get to keep the product for free. Oh and on the same note. If you've had the same omgoing computer error on an essential product for months where the system doesnt actually know the price of the item forcing the assistant to come over and manually enter the price then once again the product should be free. Fucking guarantee these issues would be fixed immediately once they start legally cutting into their profit margins.
View on Reddit #22722424

Batmanswrath@reddit

If the machine says "unrecognised item in the bagging area" I should get that item for free, sort your shit out machines.
View on Reddit #22722179

Few_Engineer4517@reddit

Dedicated checkout lane near cashier if buying alcohol. Annoying to have to look around and flag staff down to approve purchase.
View on Reddit #22721953

Sorry_Nectarine_6627@reddit

To have them actually work
View on Reddit #22721844

Content-Series-9960@reddit

Marks and spencer are the worst. Hold item a fraction too long while scanning and it puts 2 items on your bill! It's happened to me twice when I've noticed in store and 2 when I've got home sadly
View on Reddit #22708036

milly48@reddit

Most items will refuse to be scanned through twice at M&S due to the unique barcodes, but unfortunately there are a fair few exceptions to this rule and I have no idea why when they all have the same style barcode
View on Reddit #22721743

7148675309@reddit

Oh that’s what happened to me this afternoon then. I only bought two items so I knew immediately and just am sure I only scanned the muffins once…. Anyway took minutes for the guy to come and fix.
View on Reddit #22721616

bananabm@reddit

When you select a quantity for bags, bananas or pastries it should have 1, 2, 3, more as massive buttons. Not a numeric numpad with tiny keys
View on Reddit #22721708

Ineffable_Confusion@reddit

If it’s a trolley self scan, you cannot have a basket or - worse, as I saw from one man - an armful of items The supermarket had a designated basket self scan, a designated trolley self scan, and manned tills. The man in question could not have chosen a less correct option
View on Reddit #22721438

WelshBluebird1@reddit

Of course this is all based on the assumption there is an alternative! A lot of supermarkets now leave no member of staff on an actual till and so you are forced to use a self checkout even if you fall into one of the mentioned categories of people who probably shouldn't!
View on Reddit #22712683

knuraklo@reddit

My Morrisons staffs only one till with a miserable old git, I'm sure they're doing it on purpose. I hate self service checkouts, but I won't let him touch much stuff
View on Reddit #22721437

gladysdames@reddit

If it’s weighted as spuds then it’s spuds.
View on Reddit #22713251

knuraklo@reddit

Hello, how am I meant to know what they are? I don't work here!
View on Reddit #22721435

medi_dat@reddit

Remove the "please take your items..." that repeats every 5 seconds if you leave your items on the baggage bit for longer than 2 miliseconds.
View on Reddit #22721329

chin_waghing@reddit

2% reduced price for scanning my own shopping
View on Reddit #22721198

UnimaginativeNameABC@reddit

Don’t steal stuff, observe basic etiquette with the staff (eg no abuse, no unwanted flirting, no leaving a massive mess for them to clean up) and don’t block access to tills that you’re not using.
View on Reddit #22721149

MisterSpikes@reddit

Pack. As. You. Scan! The morons who scan everything, pay, and THEN pack it all into bags infuriate me, especially when there's a queue. I feel like yelling, "HOW HAVE YOU NOT FIGURED THIS OUT BY NOW?!" I mean, it's been 20 years, for Christ sake.
View on Reddit #22721068

Kash132@reddit

Stop randomly checking mw
View on Reddit #22720979

homelaberator@reddit

Any error works in the customer's favour. If something requires staff intervention, it times out after 30s and you get the whole of your shop free.
View on Reddit #22720863

fjordsand@reddit

Get rid of the scales. 1 because its easier for me to steal and 2 because it slows everything down for the sake of saving pennies
View on Reddit #22720855

cranbrook_aspie@reddit

If there’s a queue, take your stuff and leave immediately after you’re done paying, don’t stand around for a million years slowly packing. Either bag as you scan or pick it up and take it somewhere else to sort out.
View on Reddit #22720792

Romana_Jane@reddit

I'd have an option to press that says disabled/wheelchair user give time or something, I get so stressed after I've paid and I try to get the stuff bagged and onto the bag of my wheelchair without it shouting at me to take my item over and over again. Plus, sometimes, while scanning, when placing items from a chair you hit the counter and it screams unexpected item in bagging area or freezes and you have to get the person over to unblock it - this can happen 6 times for 10 items sometimes ffs! I'd also ban the new type which have flatter screens higher and further bag with wider counters, they are inaccessible unless you are Mrs Incredible with stretchy arms!
View on Reddit #22720732

KiwiOld1627@reddit

there should a paid member of staff at every one to help you .... sort of like actual checkouts
View on Reddit #22720633

Dedward5@reddit

They should know that some things are so light they don’t register and not need me to get the assistant because my£1.50 pack of lettuce seeds can’t be weighed.
View on Reddit #22720612

knuraklo@reddit

Customers to be paid minimum wage + annoyance allowance, with yearly raises as you gain experience of course.
View on Reddit #22720558

fearsomemumbler@reddit

I’d like a law passed that would mean that each self service check out machine has to have an old school one armed bandit lever which you must pull at the the end of your scanning, which sets off a set of fruit machine wheels which has various discounts applied to them if you match the pictures… Three shopping baskets = get what ever you were trying to buy for free
View on Reddit #22720505

Tlou3please@reddit

Put stuff straight into a bag as you scan it. Don't leave it in a pile, pay, and then put it in a bag.
View on Reddit #22720448

cant-say-anything@reddit

No cunts allowed. Oh wait, that'd involve banning the majority of the public.
View on Reddit #22707244

karma3001@reddit

Not you though, I assume.
View on Reddit #22720280

Timelord00010002@reddit

Pay a fair wage to operate them..pay super ,sick pay and annual leave .. as working as a checkout chick as a second job ..should pay no tax .. They want you to run their store and make them pay a fair wage
View on Reddit #22720162

Cannaewulnaewidnae@reddit

Bananas are on the honour system 99% of the times a supervisor has had to come over and help me, it's because the scale can't get its head around the concept of Chiquita bananas
View on Reddit #22719729

FionaTheFierce@reddit

If you don’t know how to use self-checkout you have to complete the training at some kiosk before you get in line. The other rule is that the store has to have a clerk actually staffing the self-checkout areas so problems are resolved quickly.
View on Reddit #22719104

SmokingLaddy@reddit

Always remove unexpected items from bagging area.
View on Reddit #22719029

base73@reddit

Also, scan & pack! Stop waiting until you've paid then taking twice as long again to pack and holding up the queue!
View on Reddit #22719017

scs3jb@reddit

No old people or computer illiterates. I hate time wasters, give them their own queue.
View on Reddit #22719010

UCthrowaway78404@reddit

Just walk to the far end. You'll find a free one My local sainsbury has like 30 self checkouts. Its the longest one I ever seen. Withbone entry point. I think they should split in into 2 banks of self checkouts and have 2 queues. Anyway. The far end 8 tills are always free and customers can't see them from queue and staff have given up calling customers. Whenever I am atthe front. I justvwalk to the end tills because I know they'll be free.
View on Reddit #22718997

karateninjazombie@reddit

If it's not a trolly sided selfcheck out. Then don't take a fucking trolly to it and block a till either side with your oblivious ignorance!
View on Reddit #22718952

base73@reddit

Slight modification to yours since many places now have separate self service for trolleys, use the right tills for baskets or trolleys! I don't give a shit if there's a longer queue for the basket tills, if you have a basket then f*** off & stop hogging tills in the trolley area!
View on Reddit #22718903

WarmTransportation35@reddit

Make them like Amazon fresh with no tills but have a bagging station like Aldi.
View on Reddit #22718879

Top_Criticism_4208@reddit

£1 off your bill for every ‘place item in bagging area’ error.
View on Reddit #22718837

Sim0nsaysshh@reddit

It's not for trolleys you fucking donkey especially if you're ancient
View on Reddit #22718483

BaldDudePeekskill@reddit

Whoa. What's the deal with the scales? US here with self checkout and that is not something I've heard of.
View on Reddit #22718327

italocampanelli@reddit

do rules for the supermarket itself count? if so, i would create a law to forbid those screens that always remind us how horrible we are
View on Reddit #22718077

DonkeyRhubarb76@reddit

25% off the total for doing the supermarkets job for them.
View on Reddit #22717898

SarkyMs@reddit

The machine has to accept your bag might be heavy or already have stuff in them.
View on Reddit #22717848

That_Painter_Guy@reddit

- Only 1 basket worth of shopping. - 10 minutes to scan, pay and go. - Gotta have your payment method ready. - if you can't handle the above then you're banned from using self serve at that store.
View on Reddit #22717774

OctopusIntellect@reddit

You need to define more tightly, how we're going to establish whether someone *really* knows how they work. Could make it a requirement, to upload to your Clubcard account, your recognised vendor certification for the operating system the self checkout is running on. That would thin down the crowds really quickly, not least because most people don't bother maintaining their certification on operating systems that are so old. Or take it one step further and require people to pass a test on their understanding of the source code used for the self checkout, and also a second one on the circuits and components inside it. Then they'd definitely know how it worked. Still might not stop them making dumb mistakes, though.
View on Reddit #22717607

taylorstillsays@reddit

I’d lynch the person who greenlit the changes they made to my local big Tesco. Some dimwit decided that the scan and shop queue would be the exact same queue as the self checkout queue, so about half the time I join the queue, ready to scan my barcode and pay in 30 seconds, I have to wait 10mins plus for everyone in front who are self scanning trollers that are full to the brim. Genuinely makes me want to pull out my hair watching these people struggle to scan and then pile up their shopping
View on Reddit #22717506

D0wnb0at@reddit

Someone to be there constantly to fix issues like you moved something in the bag from the edge to the middle and now it weighs different so it’s screaming at you saying you put something in you shouldn’t have. Also age restricted products. Might just be quicker to have another person on the counter though.
View on Reddit #22717493

MrRoflmajog@reddit

If an item is under a certain weight the scale doesn't need to detect it before you scan your next item. Those things seem to not be sensitive enoigh to register some light things like birthday cards and just shout at you to do something you already did.
View on Reddit #22708763

Ch83az@reddit

Yes! Boots seems to have worked this out years ago but supermarkets are lagging
View on Reddit #22717484

Nice-Substance-gogo@reddit (OP)

The dresses birthday card! Too light for it to notice but as scanned can scan another item. Ever pick the card up and doing it down as if the force counts as the weight?
View on Reddit #22708939

MrRoflmajog@reddit

Yes. "Unexpected item in bagging area."
View on Reddit #22710256

dazed1984@reddit

Under 50’s only.
View on Reddit #22717388

MarvZealous@reddit

You have 5 seconds to collect your shopping after you’ve paid. Otherwise they donate your shopping to charity. Sick of seeing people start packing after they’ve finished paying or people examining their receipt . Also, on a more serious note I’d like it if they hired people who actually paid attention or could approve things via a screen. Also, why can I buy bleach with no issue but if I want a Red Bull I need approval…… apparently this thread has opened some issues I have with self checkouts.
View on Reddit #22707139

chickendipperzzzz@reddit

Because you have be 16 legally to buy energy drinks so it's need approval just like every other restricted item. There are serious consequences if staff fail test purchases
View on Reddit #22715976

MarvZealous@reddit

But its ok for me to just down a bottle of bleach. Gottit
View on Reddit #22717362

Nice-Substance-gogo@reddit (OP)

Or realise they need to pay at the end and then need to find their card hidden in their bag somewhere to finally pay.
View on Reddit #22707538

carolomnipresence@reddit

Trust the customer or provide enough check out staff.
View on Reddit #22717337

Ch83az@reddit

Can my rule be for the shop? Just stick barcodes massive and everywhere like Lidl and Aldi, hate having to hunt for them. Or the new fun scenario that’s appeared at M&S recently where the exciting new QR code is so near the barcode that it gets read instead and the till gets upset and someone needs to fix it. The last staff member just told me to put my thumb over that bit when scanning. ‘This is not just any thumb, this is an M&S thumb’
View on Reddit #22717102

FatherBobby@reddit

Stop using your phone gwallet apple wallet whatever, just use a physical card dammit!!
View on Reddit #22717047

HannaaaLucie@reddit

If there is 1 'card and cash' self checkout, you are not permitted to use it unless you intend to use card. Had some woman in M&S the other day hogging the only card and cash checkout (surrounded by 11 cash only ones), and she then paid by cash anyway!
View on Reddit #22716896

YourLocalMosquito@reddit

5% discount on my shopping bill seeing as I’m doing a staff members job
View on Reddit #22716876

BarryFairbrother@reddit

I don’t see the problem with trolleys if you have a small number of items. Sometimes you might even just have one very bulky item that’s too heavy for a basket. That shouldn’t bar you from using the self-service checkout.
View on Reddit #22716566

SoggyWotsits@reddit

Don’t clog up the trolley self checkout with a basket when the basket checkout is empty! Also no kids running around and then having a rest by leaning on the scale that I’m using. One last thing… there’s no need to pack your shopping into your bags once you’ve paid. The option is right there to say you’ve brought your own bags. Common sense says your shopping goes straight in them as you scan!
View on Reddit #22716542

MobiusNaked@reddit

Maximum volume to be below that of a jet engine taking off and less verbose. Looking at you Co-op PLEASE SCAN YOUR FIRST ITEM!
View on Reddit #22716489

MessiahOfMetal@reddit

I'd make the machines delay weighing goods until you press a button first because it annoys me when it says "place bags in the bagging area", you do and then need to wait for a staff member to log into the machine and allow you to start scanning because the bags you put down are causing it to flip out. > no trollies Have you not been to Asda? I'm *always* in the trolley self-checkout section. They have four sections: * manned checkouts * self-scan baggage area * trolley self-checkouts * basket self-checkouts Makes everything easier for everyone that way, so big shops aren't relegated to manned tills like you suggested.
View on Reddit #22716488

worldworn@reddit

We have a BASKET self checkout and a TROLLEY self check out. Big signs everywhere, big spaces in the latter to put your trolley, most people would have to push thier trolley past the trolley checkouts to get to the basket one Why the basket one is always full of trolleys to the point you can't get passed, is beyond me. I'd have the you get to the point of paying , then have to verbally apologise to the till (and therefore everyone else on earshot) before it let you continue.
View on Reddit #22716464

Scared_Cricket3265@reddit

One person per self check out. Friends and family members should vacate the checkout machine zone.
View on Reddit #22716307

ConstantPineapple@reddit

(Im from England, UK) This isn't much of a new rule because this was a thing a while back when they kinda first introduced them as far as i remember, but... Baskets only! They also used to have like... 'under 12 items' or something like that... Seeing some fucker approach a self checkout with a full trolley of shit kinda gets my back up... especially when they're blocking another self service next to them lol
View on Reddit #22716153

FartBakedBaguette@reddit

Possibly controversial but I’m banning old people from using them. Over 50? Go chat to a checkout operator. Leave the tech to us, grandad. Your flapping, all fingers and thumbs, ham-fisting the screen approach is getting us nowhere as you somehow navigated to the enter coupon section whilst looking for the ‘weigh my carrots’ option.
View on Reddit #22706132

joeparni@reddit

I mean that's just dumb lol, my parents are both over 50 and have never had any problems with it You realise over 50 is born after 1973? You're totally wrong there lmao
View on Reddit #22707433

gnu_andii@reddit

Before 1974-03-21 surely? But yes, the idea that older people are technically illiterate is outdated. Most of the generation that tended to be (born pre-WWII) are sadly no longer with us. Someone in their 50s now started work in the 80s for goodness sake.
View on Reddit #22716107

gnu_andii@reddit

Better to ban the under 30s from using them so they're forced to have a conversation with a real human being for once in their lives.
View on Reddit #22715753

marknotgeorge@reddit

Something tells me this young whippersnapper never had to wait 20 minutes for a game to load. Get back to TikTok!
View on Reddit #22710514

FartBakedBaguette@reddit

Sorry, what did you say? I can’t concentrate on long speeches without a subway surfer video underneath it
View on Reddit #22711502

formal-monopoly@reddit

>Leave the tech to us Listen here sonny, I was building computers and programming them before you were born. Using a self checkout machine is not "tech" :)
View on Reddit #22707541

FartBakedBaguette@reddit

Alright, enigma code, how did you get here? back to the care home you go.
View on Reddit #22707614

VixenRoss@reddit

Go park your Winchester
View on Reddit #22710658

Prestigious-Garbage5@reddit

Thanks!!! 😠 I'll have you know, this 70 year old has been using self checkouts for a good many years and perfectly well! No holdups! No confusion as to how they work!! And better things to do with my life than waiting in long queues at checkouts!
View on Reddit #22706805

FartBakedBaguette@reddit

Sorry gramps, your peers have ruined it for you. Get queueing 👋🏼
View on Reddit #22707447

Prestigious-Garbage5@reddit

Gran actually! 😆
View on Reddit #22709734

FartBakedBaguette@reddit

My love! You get a pass, you can continue using the self checkouts with gusto 😊
View on Reddit #22710209

Prestigious-Garbage5@reddit

Thanks! 😆
View on Reddit #22710396

-Hi-Reddit@reddit

I'm nowhere near that old yet, but I work in at a high tech engineering firm here in the UK. Many of our talented engineers & software developers are 55+ and have no issues navigating self checkout systems. They're *inventing* new technologies (quite literally, very innovative company) that would make you feel like the granddad.
View on Reddit #22708530

V65Pilot@reddit

I feel personally attacked by this. Fair enough.
View on Reddit #22707227

Nice-Substance-gogo@reddit (OP)

Haha hell yes. One item at a time ever in the hand seems to be their rule. Weight problem goes off like 3 times as they keep picking things up for a neat pile.
View on Reddit #22706411

Orc_face@reddit

If the barcodes not recognised it’s FREE
View on Reddit #22715986

IAMACiderDrinker@reddit

My Tesco has about 10 self service tills and only 2 take cash, so you get people paying cash waiting at the front of the queue and not saying to the people behind them ‘go ahead I’m waiting for a cash till’ FFS Tesco, please make all self service tills cash and card *or* make them all card only
View on Reddit #22715924

Silver_Switch_3109@reddit

Get rid of the weight.
View on Reddit #22715770

cycleboy69@reddit

Each self checkout would have a person to scan your shopping, put it in a bag and take your money.
View on Reddit #22711241

gnu_andii@reddit

As it should be
View on Reddit #22715582

Martipar@reddit

All temporary checkout assistants are to be paid a minimum of £20ph plus a £100 initial payment (so £120 for the first hour - in advance and £20 for every hour thereafter) this will include all checkouts.
View on Reddit #22715451

gnu_andii@reddit

Ban them all.
View on Reddit #22715423

Youareaschmetterling@reddit

Have an employee on each self scan machine so they can approve alcohol or paracetamol straight away. They could even help you scan the items whilst you bag or you scan and they bag. Or better yet, have two employees 1 to scan 1 to bag. So you can just present your points card and pay either by cash or card. Problem solved!
View on Reddit #22715232

jackbarbelfisherman@reddit

If your bags aren't the stiffer free standing ones where the top stays open (and you can just drop stuff straight in), bag your items after paying. Opening/lifting the bag up to put your next item in often confuses the scales; causing lots of unnecessary resets and extra work for the poor bugger that's been dumped on SCO for hours with little or no backup.
View on Reddit #22715194

jasonjonescfc@reddit

Put the basket back.
View on Reddit #22714940

asuka_rice@reddit

You can pay any utility bill and buy lotto tickets.
View on Reddit #22708283

dudeperson567@reddit

You can buy lotto tickets from the Asda self service
View on Reddit #22714805

ExPristina@reddit

That they are all just scan and go kiosks.
View on Reddit #22714663

Luciferslawyer1980@reddit

I'd make it 8% cheaper. I'm doing the work without sick pay, paternity pay or pension contributions. Give me a little bit back bro.
View on Reddit #22714442

Dirty2013@reddit

They should all have a member of the shop staff operating them
View on Reddit #22714402

Phantom1Leader@reddit

Don't put coins in the notes in slot! It's depressing how often this happens.
View on Reddit #22714240

Pentax25@reddit

I would introduce a tips & tricks guide for customers so that they know what they can and cannot do with them. I used to work with these machines and sadly they’re not as smart as people think. 9/10 they break because the person using it gets frustrated or impatient because they don’t understand how they work. At the end of the day, it’s a machine and cannot understand you or change tactic to deal with you like a human would (not yet at least). Some tips: - Be patient with it. Once you’ve scanned an item, put that single item in the bagging area and wait for it to register before scanning the next. At sainsburys there’s a light on the front that goes red when it’s waiting for the item in the area and green when it’s ready for the next one. Tip 2. when that green light is on in the Sains ones, you can remove stuff from the bagging area if it’s too full to free space. From my experience, Tesco and Lidl don’t share this function so moving stuff will need someone to come help you. Tip 3. Sometimes if the weight is off you can firmly push down on the scales in the bagging area and it will reset it (good hack if you have some veg that’s a weird shape or something light like paracetamol or a card) Tip 4. The time you save by going through self scan is not the time it takes you to check out, it’s actually the time saved queueing. Especially if you’re queueing for 10 or something tills compared to just the one human till. The number of times people say “I thought this was meant to be quicker”. Chances are, it’s you who is making this slow because you don’t understand the machine (and let me be clear, that’s not your fault, they just aren’t explained) Tip 5. You can usually mute or change the volume with a button on the front somewhere Tip 6. Most malfunctions in the machine are from dodgy coinage. Try to avoid using old or dodgy looking coins and notes and even better go to a card only one as much as poss as they don’t tend to break easily Tip 7. Don’t have one person scan and the other hold the bag or pack, it just sets the scale off weird and the second person gets in the way of everyone involved Following that tip 8. It’s much smoother to have one person do the scanning and bagging and paying (provided they’re the most competent) while everyone else with you gets out of the area to go wait outside. You don’t need all these cooks in the kitchen. They get in everyone else’s way. Especially if they’re kids.
View on Reddit #22714212

twodogsfighting@reddit

Keep smiling until it's time not to smile.
View on Reddit #22714186

Curious-giraffe-1@reddit

You must bag items as you scan them. Why are people scanning, paying then standing and loading stuff in to their bags!?
View on Reddit #22713879

Nice-Substance-gogo@reddit (OP)

Because it’s faster. Bags don’t always fit on that holder and scales are sensitive to different bag types. Can pick up 4-5 items at one and put in bag after.
View on Reddit #22714112

snapjokersmainframe@reddit

No packing area which detects weight. Never seems to work. Just scan your stuff, get a receipt, and scan to exit. Works just fine in Norway.
View on Reddit #22713779

CraicandTans@reddit

The ladies who check your ID need to stop chatting and pay attention
View on Reddit #22713754

arashi256@reddit

People who scan a bunch of shit, fail to complete and abandon their scanned items thus rendering the terminal useless until a member of staff can clear the scanned items list and reset it for the next person. Those people, well they should be shot. Alongside the UI designers who decided not to include a manual reset button, because who would ever need that?
View on Reddit #22713683

crankyandhangry@reddit

My rules are for the shop itself. The checkouts must be set up in such a way that the unscanned items go on the side nearest the entrance to the checkouts, and the scanned items get moved to the side nearest the exit. It's just good design and makes intuitive sense. If supermarkets are going to have very few manned checkouts and mostly selt-scans, then they need to have big ones that can fit a trollyload of stuff. I only ever have a basket, and there's often not enough space for all my items, and never anyone on tills. There does not need to be scales where the scanned items go. It just causes more problems and requires calling staff over every few minutes, especially with fruit/veg or unusual items. Just let me scan and put it in the bagging area. It doesn't need to weigh a certain amount! I don't want to hear arguments about why this is needed; loads of shops have a setup where you scan and then can put directly into your backpack/handbag and it's much faster. Don't dare ask me to scan my receipt on the way out. That is some bullshit right there.
View on Reddit #22713481

Morazma@reddit

No boomers allowed
View on Reddit #22706153

Phil1889Blades@reddit

I’d exclude you just for using the word boomers.
View on Reddit #22706441

Alarmed_Crazy_6620@reddit

Ok boomer
View on Reddit #22706655

Phil1889Blades@reddit

But I’m not. It’s just a shit word.
View on Reddit #22712479

Alarmed_Crazy_6620@reddit

It's literally just a name for a demographic cohort. It's v funny when folks consider it an insult
View on Reddit #22712608

Phil1889Blades@reddit

Not an insult just wank.
View on Reddit #22713278

bnwprc@reddit

Should be like driving car. Take lessons with a qualified instructor before being let loose in the shop
View on Reddit #22711791

Nice-Substance-gogo@reddit (OP)

They do that at casinos. Tables with low stakes that teach you how to play the games. Should do it in other places.
View on Reddit #22713246

Themagiciancard@reddit

If you have more than a basket worth of stuff (excluding the lanes meant for trolleys), piss off
View on Reddit #22713170

divine-silence@reddit

Manned by a person and they scan your items for you, press all the buttons and take your cash and hand you change.
View on Reddit #22712998

Particular-Piano-475@reddit

Don't steal shit
View on Reddit #22712852

antlered_godi@reddit

10 items or less. That's the only rule you need
View on Reddit #22708334

marktuk@reddit

That's a hard no from me. Just because other people don't know how to use them, don't stop me from using them because you've set some arbitrary limit. I could do 20-30 items no problem, probably faster than most people get through 10.
View on Reddit #22712584

Muttywango@reddit

I'd be happier with a "Fewer than 10 items" rule.
View on Reddit #22712344

Nice-Substance-gogo@reddit (OP)

Would make things so much better. Bloke near us gets every yellow sticker item in a huge trolley and takes an hour to do it all I swear. A million mess ups along the way.
View on Reddit #22708467

WarWonderful593@reddit

Ban them and employ people instead.
View on Reddit #22707306

marktuk@reddit

They employ the same number of people, at least now all of the tills are actually open. Before self checkouts most supermarkets had a sea of tills with only a small % of them open at any one time.
View on Reddit #22712456

nl325@reddit

Nah I actively avoid the socially inept nutjobs I used to work with. And self service machines do employ people, they're just way more space efficient, but the mobile engineering teams are huge (and actually skilled).
View on Reddit #22711905

djwillis1121@reddit

Why? Just because you prefer a normal checkout doesn't mean that everyone should be forced to use them
View on Reddit #22709857

Nice-Substance-gogo@reddit (OP)

Machines are often more polite.
View on Reddit #22707737

That-Surprise@reddit

Urgh god no https://youtu.be/uah8kol05Q4?si=t2cqeTq-2OpHNVNB
View on Reddit #22707456

BujoBoy@reddit

The ASDA and Morrisons near me have seperate self checkout areas specifically for trolleys which have way more space and a bigger area to place your items. It's an absolute GAMECHANGER.
View on Reddit #22712408

Wolfdarkeneddoor@reddit

Using a self checkout should entitle you to legitimately add retail experience to your CV.
View on Reddit #22712350

X90Levi@reddit

Definitely no trollies
View on Reddit #22705375

Beginning-Anybody442@reddit

My big (really big) supermarket has just started it for trollies, there were literally no manned tills the other day, all self check out, and you don't put it straight into the trolley, so takes ages.
View on Reddit #22708413

poppalopp@reddit

You’re meant to put it straight into a bag.
View on Reddit #22712339

Puzzleheaded_Drink76@reddit

Sainsbury's is terrible for this!
View on Reddit #22711522

GretalRabbit@reddit

Unless you've done scan-as-you-shop.
View on Reddit #22712046

smurfhito@reddit

Punishable by a lifetime trolley ban
View on Reddit #22710471

Dear_Aardvark8020@reddit

Less dickhead!
View on Reddit #22712296

Happy_Boy_29@reddit

Minimum 3 trolleys with 600 items and reserved only for first time users.
View on Reddit #22707827

sharksare2cool@reddit

Is this the Bad Place?
View on Reddit #22711200

Happy_Boy_29@reddit

Zoo queue ;-)
View on Reddit #22712277

FunkulousThe55th@reddit

If you don’t bag as you scan, and instead put everything on the weight and then bag after you’ve paid, you should be shot on sight
View on Reddit #22706587

marktuk@reddit

I use scan and go most of the time now, but when I use the self checkouts I gave up putting the bag on the scale as it would often require staff approval. I could often bag my stuff fairly rapidly and feel like that was almost always quicker than waiting around for staff to "approve" my bag several times during the checkout process. One tip I can share is you should always do the heavy items first as it's less likely to complain about the weight difference caused by your bag. If you put your bag down and then try to scan a pack of parsley it'll almost always complain about the weight, but if you do a bottle of milk first it's normally fine. Do the lighter items last.
View on Reddit #22712199

Apidium@reddit

I guess I bag wrong because if I bag while I scan it starts yelling at me. 9/10 it's faster and quieter for eveyone if I just slap everything on the scale unpacked, pay and then slide it all into a bag or two and leave instead of every time I put something down the drawn out 'put the item down now''put the item down!' 'UNEXPECTED ITEM'
View on Reddit #22707467

Not_Sugden@reddit

yeah you are meant to open your bags on the scale FIRST and select that you have your own bag. Then you wont have this issue. But for me it depends. If I have enough items to where I would need to bag as I go then I will use the til anyway and not the self checkout. I hate those things. But if I have so little items to where its easier to bag it after then I'll only use the self checkout to avoid social awkardness. I still feel awkard queuing for the cash self checkout and everyone thinking im an idiot for not realising the card only one is free- but I'm paying cash
View on Reddit #22708014

Apidium@reddit

That's what I do mate. I'm not just throwing bags about the place.
View on Reddit #22709530

TomSurman@reddit

>Then you wont have this issue. r/ConfidentlyWrong
View on Reddit #22709117

RiClious@reddit

....Unless your bag is too heavy, then they have to pre authorise it. Ask them to auth the booze at the same time? 'No sorry that has to be done at the end'. It doesn't! Human checkout every time for me unless all the staff are 'busy' doing something else, which they often seem to be.
View on Reddit #22708640

pullingteeths@reddit

I have to do this because I bring a large backpack which already has other stuff in it for carrying heavy shopping, don't think there's a way I can bag directly into it. However 90% of the time I shop when it isn't busy and I'm not holding anyone up.
View on Reddit #22708994

FunkulousThe55th@reddit

Fair point. I amended my comment to reflect this
View on Reddit #22709504

lordskunkontoast@reddit

Those machines lose their shit if you put a rucksack with loads of random crap on them then fill it up. I'm always wary to pack as i go as I have to get the staff over to verify my bag isn't me stealing stuff. There's always the fear that they will want to check in my bag and find all the stuff I've nicked in the bottom.
View on Reddit #22708288

Nice-Substance-gogo@reddit (OP)

It’s not cute for your kid to scan the items slowly either!!
View on Reddit #22706757

Fedir_909@reddit

No boomers
View on Reddit #22712156

pplatypuss1@reddit

Don't prod me in the back and get so close that I can feel your breath on my neck to tell me that "there's one free over there" when I can see that it is out of order you fucking weirdo - I've dedicated the last minute of my life to seeing which one is free so I can briskly walk towards it thanks.
View on Reddit #22712127

underwater-sunlight@reddit

If you can't work your tv remote, you should not be anywhere near the self checkout
View on Reddit #22712076

ekke287@reddit

Trolleys not allowed
View on Reddit #22712061

DarthFlowers@reddit

Every time the lighting and cctv quality makes me question just how gorgeous I really am (right!?) I get Clubcard points as recompense/compensation
View on Reddit #22712025

SGTFragged@reddit

During the pandemic, I discovered that grocery cashier is a highly skilled profession judging by the absolute muppetry on display by members of the general public when forced to use self checkout.
View on Reddit #22711958

EMILLKSLEEPA@reddit

Anytime I use a self check out all I can hear in my head is Ray Liotta doing Henry Hill from Goodfellas sayin 'fuck you, pay me'. I wanna whack the machine, but it's a made man machine.
View on Reddit #22711781

Pizzagoessplat@reddit

There are two human tills for every self checkout till. I stopped doing my weekly shop in some places because I've too much for a self checkout and could do with some help with it.
View on Reddit #22711764

bduk92@reddit

I'd make it mandatory to have at least 2 staff members in the self checkout area at all times. Sooo many times I've tried to grab food before work and have to go hunting for a staff member to authorise something on the till. Usually they're chatting in an aisle or with security.
View on Reddit #22711740

marktuk@reddit

Trolleys are okay if there are dedicated self checkouts for trolleys, but I agree that trolleys in the basket self checkouts are a nightmare as they often block the other checkouts.
View on Reddit #22711563

zibafu@reddit

If I am approaching, make way 😂
View on Reddit #22711411

Throwawaythedocument@reddit

Ban them, hire more staff. Or, no more than 5 items...and hire more staff
View on Reddit #22711294

eivoooom@reddit

I'm pretty efficient at going to a self checkout with my trolley, it's actually baskets that are usually the slow culprits!
View on Reddit #22711249

Ok_Parking7650@reddit

“No self checkouts”
View on Reddit #22710998

theabominablewonder@reddit

I would get rid of all of them and only have scan and pay and old style checkouts.
View on Reddit #22708378

marknotgeorge@reddit

Speaking of scan and pay, I picked up the Nectar Phaser because I know the difference between a barcode and a zebra's backside. I don't want to wait for all the muppets making a pig's ear of self-scan, capice?
View on Reddit #22710854

GrimQuim@reddit

Pack into a bag as you're scanning, don't pack after you've paid.
View on Reddit #22704974

VixenRoss@reddit

My bags always set off the scale thingy. These are normal empty bags for life that have no additional items in. The assistant normally advises I remove it and pack at the end!
View on Reddit #22710799

intangible-tangerine@reddit

Packing after saves time since you don't get the errors from inaccurate weights
View on Reddit #22706613

Organic_Chemist9678@reddit

This never happens to me. Not once ever.
View on Reddit #22706821

pullingteeths@reddit

It depends on the individual shop's machines. I have no problems anywhere in my town except Sainsbury's which always constantly fails to recognise I've bagged a item. You're just lucky.
View on Reddit #22709241

GrimQuim@reddit

Likewise, I have no issues. I used the trolley self checkouts with two bags for life and every time it's uninterrupted apart from booze approval.
View on Reddit #22707508

Apidium@reddit

Happens to me all the time. Even when I try to move and touch the bag as little as possible. It just. I think some of their scales are fucked I have no idea but it yelling at you that your bag is unexpected simply because you placed the eggs in it.
View on Reddit #22707941

Nice-Substance-gogo@reddit (OP)

Exactly!
View on Reddit #22707100

Valuable-Island-1880@reddit

Sometimes the scales are too sensitive to manage with the bags there. My local Sainsbury’s basically makes it impossible to bag while scanning. Every time I use a bag it thinks the weights are off and the staff have actually started telling people off for using their bags while they scan.
View on Reddit #22705972

Nice-Substance-gogo@reddit (OP)

Then you buy a card and it doesn’t notice the weight.
View on Reddit #22708836

rustynoodle3891@reddit

A friend of mine does this and it infuriated me when he just started piling all the scanned items up. Why do something twice?
View on Reddit #22705554

FunkulousThe55th@reddit

Because people are morons
View on Reddit #22706624

ButteredReality@reddit

Or, because "please wait while we verify your bags".
View on Reddit #22708259

FunkulousThe55th@reddit

Please wait whilst the idiot in front gingerly packs stuff when they could have done it 5 minutes ago and saved all of us some time
View on Reddit #22708321

ButteredReality@reddit

"Please wait while we verify your bags" for me means waiting for anything from 30 seconds to 3 minutes for a staff member to come along (or longer, especially if they're having to attend to other people first) and punch in a code. If the staff member is available immediately, then the chances are it's not so busy that anyone else is waiting to check out. Compare that to the 45 seconds *maximum* it takes me to stuff everything into my backpack at the end. On the rare occasion that it would have been quicker to get a staff member to verify, chances are it would have been because it wasn't busy enough for the staff member to be needed elsewhere. However, if it's people with a trolley full of shopping and using only carrier bags that'll take at least 3 minutes to pack, then I'm totally with you.
View on Reddit #22708748

rustynoodle3891@reddit

So am I but I draw the line somewhere!
View on Reddit #22706966

No-Garbage9500@reddit

I always bring a backpack, which knackers the scales and forces me to have to be approved one more time than necessary. Much quicker to just scan, chuck onto the packing area, then shovel it all into the backpack once I'm done.
View on Reddit #22706735

ButteredReality@reddit

Hard agree. I basically always have a backpack with me, and after the first few times of "please wait while we verify your bags", it is genuinely quicker to avoid the 30-150 seconds of waiting for someone to verify them, and instead just take 45 seconds to pack it all into the bag at the end.
View on Reddit #22708209

Apidium@reddit

If it let's you. A lot are just too jumpy for them not to kick off because you slightly rustled the bag.
View on Reddit #22707779

indigo263@reddit

Not everyone uses a bag though. More often than not I'll pick up a box from the end of a checkout if I've picked up more than I can feasibly carry, and they don't always fit on the scales :(
View on Reddit #22706834

Nice-Substance-gogo@reddit (OP)

Interesting. I prefer to scan quick then pack quick. No time wasting laying the bag down or risk of the weight not being recognised.
View on Reddit #22705452

Nine_Eye_Ron@reddit

With a backpack I have to pack after.
View on Reddit #22706005

oneletter2shor@reddit

The rule should be that they cannot be set to full volume. Some of them are absolutely deafening. When I use to live in Kilburn me and a friend put clear sellotape over the speaker to dampen it a bit.
View on Reddit #22709913

ScatterCushion0@reddit

We came to the conclusion (having experienced this on a trip to the Midlands) that it was for the benefit of the cashier who was elsewhere in the store to be able to respond to unexpected beeps and "Approval Needed" alerts. Stores only need one or two cashiers when the volume of the self-checkout is loud enough. &#x200B; Note - this is not an argument for or against self-checkouts. Personally, I prefer them when I'm on my lunch because I have a limited amount of time available. I do not have the luxury of time to spend stuck behind three pensioners doing a full weekly shop, a bloke who can't remember the brand of cigarettes he wants, and a woman who wants to buy every. single. kind. of scratchcard *individually.* But that's on the design of the store - having three staffed checkouts (all fully utilised), plus the self-checkout, still means I can buy my sandwich quickly, and three cashiers are fully employed. (/rant)
View on Reddit #22710393

oneletter2shor@reddit

That is true and definitely the reason why some are set to max volume. I don't like how some now have cameras attached to them but that's down to Joe public exploiting the system and stealing. Yeah I prefer self service when it works but sometimes if you're buying items that are light they don't weigh enough to set off the scale to say you put the item down (rare). But yeah with those types of customers they're the ones who fill up their cars at the petrol pump then go and grab a basket and start paying six times the amount for a loaf of bread and a pint of milk.
View on Reddit #22710734

GesterX@reddit

If a staff member doesn't come and sort out the error/age restriction within 30 seconds, you get the last item you scanned for free.
View on Reddit #22710716

PresentationOk120@reddit

Your allowed 1 Item for free becauae your doing the staffs job and scanning all your own shit.🤷‍♂️
View on Reddit #22710677

DJToffeebud@reddit

I’d make a rule that they all have to be operational all the time and there should be two people to check for alcohol id.
View on Reddit #22710674

EducationalPizza9999@reddit

Fuxk yeah. Thw trolleys in the self service till area is stupid.
View on Reddit #22710611

Kijamon@reddit

If someone doesn't come and fix your issue within 20 seconds the machine registers it as what you scanned it as and moves on.
View on Reddit #22710409

Accurate-Ad4400@reddit

No technology illiterate people
View on Reddit #22710356

horridbloke@reddit

I would decree that you must look GOOD in order to use them. If you're unshaven, not in your finery, malodorous or devoid of strut... Sorry. To the normal checkout with you.
View on Reddit #22710349

Randomshiznit1994@reddit

Death penalty for anyone who steals red meat from the supermarket making it less likely for them to use plastic cases on a £4 piece of meat and less time for me to scan the meat then have someone have to take it and get the bloody magnetic thing taken off… I may have misunderstood the question
View on Reddit #22710236

icelolliesbaby@reddit

I would like to able to weigh my bags, without having to wait for a member of staff to approve
View on Reddit #22710150

ThatCuriousCoconut@reddit

Don't take a trolly full of items into self checkout.
View on Reddit #22710133

PoliticsNerd76@reddit

Everyone has to use them for fewer than 10 Items. Also I’d like a 5% tax on people who use tilled checkouts to account for the staffs time.
View on Reddit #22710125

catfordbeerclub@reddit

Proper use your own bag settings on the tills first. And then shoot any fucker that doesn't bag as they scan. I hate twats that bag after they have paid just to steal a free carrier bag.
View on Reddit #22709855

Ch3micallyImbalanced@reddit

I'd quite like it if it had a lens and could just assess everything I'm holding or have in a basket and sum it up quickly without me having to scan.
View on Reddit #22709772

JohnnyOneLung@reddit

Main rule would be : open all of them Fed up queuing for one of 3 open tills when there are 5 not being used
View on Reddit #22709745

roywill2@reddit

Pissed off at selfcheckout with THREE places, no signs or labels of course. Asked human, one is bagging scale, one owned by scanner, one is extra bagging scale in case primary bagging scale is broken. Cant put my luggage on any of them. Why so difficult?
View on Reddit #22709718

JimCoo1@reddit

Basket only so no trolley loads with divvys clogging up the area.
View on Reddit #22709615

BannedNeutrophil@reddit

Have more than one member of staff between ten checkouts and she's just standing half a mile away on her phone and it happens every time and I just want my goddamn energy drink aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAA
View on Reddit #22709375

Crochet-panther@reddit

Rule for people, have your method of payment ready to go, especially if you only have a couple of items! I could have scanned a weekly shop and paid by the time it took you to find your purse! To the shop (Lidl, I’m talking to you here), give a human amount of time before the machine starts telling me to scan an item. I am not fucking billy wizz, I am not going at a snail pace but sometimes it takes longer than 3 microseconds to pick up another item and find the barcode ok?
View on Reddit #22708830

Nice-Substance-gogo@reddit (OP)

Have you phone or bank card in hand should be a rule!!
View on Reddit #22708969

EliasRipley@reddit

They should be legally required to calculate a discount for the time I worked as a checkout person.
View on Reddit #22708551

dobber72@reddit

I will put my sandwich in a trolley so I don't have to use those stupid things.
View on Reddit #22708357

GL510EX@reddit

If there's no-one supervising the checkouts, you're allowed to just walk through without paying.
View on Reddit #22707772

Nice-Substance-gogo@reddit (OP)

Or how about don’t steal
View on Reddit #22707812

GL510EX@reddit

You asked for new rules...
View on Reddit #22707872

anna_sassin86@reddit

Once you’ve put an item on the scale, just bloody leave it there. I have to manage self serve checkouts as part of my job, and removing items from the scale causes the most problems
View on Reddit #22707117

Apidium@reddit

Sometimes you need to scooch things over because you need more room. That's not some crime that requires the machine to wail out about an unexpected item. The damn things are just not designed for actual like average people tired after work and no in the fucking mood to be yelled at by a robot just for trying to juggle some beers, coke and food for the kids.
View on Reddit #22707669

Nice-Substance-gogo@reddit (OP)

So true!! I do hate when an items fall over though.
View on Reddit #22707558

Ok-Palpitation-5380@reddit

No farting
View on Reddit #22706220

Nine_Eye_Ron@reddit

I think they should be spaced a bit further apart and more of them so people can scan without pressure from others.
View on Reddit #22706097

Unable_Obligation_73@reddit

One for you One for me
View on Reddit #22706077

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View on Reddit #22704680