How would you feel if your significant other wants to go on holiday alone?

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Typical_Nebula3227@reddit

I would be glad to have the house to myself for a week.

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QuirkyFrenchLassie@reddit

Except his wife would have the house to herself AND a 16 months old. Not quite the same in my opinion!

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loki_dd@reddit

I'm not seeing one reply from the OP. I'm guessing these weren't the answers they expected

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He deleted his post and possibly his username because he was starting to get some replies he didn't like. Ie folks criticising him for saying he was wrong for leaving his wife and 16 months old daughter for a week while he fucked off for his solo, me time holiday.

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InsurancePurple4630@reddit (OP)

It's a mix response really. More curiousty. Interesting responses

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Bunnyboybooty@reddit

I'd understand her concern, but also agree some solo time could be healthy. Maybe start with weekend getaways closer to home, and reassure her this isn't about wanting separation, but staying happy in the relationship. Compromise and open communication are key.

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_DeanRiding@reddit

Kinda weird. Fine if you're going with mates. But very odd to go completely solo. Are you going for something specific ?

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Fearless_Year9006@reddit

Do you have an ability to do both a solo and a family trip? My partner and I had a disagreement about this issue, I didn’t have an issue with the concept of a solo trip but the fact he prioritised doing that above going away with myself and/or his children.

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Strong_Roll5639@reddit

My husband goes on an annual holiday with his friends, but if he went alone, I'd find it a bit odd.

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judochop1@reddit

why odd? out of character or is it that holidaying alone is alien to some people?

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im_at_work_today@reddit

I love holidaying alone sometimes. Some people just seem really afraid if the idea/insecure, or (based on replies here), in co-dependant relationships.

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ChangingMyLife849@reddit

It’s more the fact he’s not answered anywhere about his wife also getting the corresponding time off (and not coming home to chaos). Also doesn’t seem like he’s arsed about taking a holiday with his family, just a solo holiday.

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InsurancePurple4630@reddit (OP)

Lol, went away September to Disney world and going away in May as a family

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Additional-Extent583@reddit

It is if you're on a relationship. Why wouldn't you want yoyr s/o there?

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trikristmas@reddit

Because people have different interests and goals of what they might want out of a holiday. Some holidays with your partner and some without

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VolcanicBoar@reddit

My wife doesn't snowboard or do triathlon. Yeah, there's nice scenery involved with both, but spending a week looking at nice scenery alone isn't that fun either.

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Mithent@reddit

And my partner isn't very interested in visiting cities or attending conventions.

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Banditofbingofame@reddit

Do you follow your SO into the toilet or let them have a relaxing bath alone?

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ant1greeny@reddit

Of course not. I holiday on my own because I'm single. If I was in a relationship I would find it odd if one of us went without the other because we presumably would want to share experiences together.

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Strong_Roll5639@reddit

Out of character for us. I wouldn't find it odd for other relationships. My brother in law goes away on his own and his wife doesn't mind.

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walnutwithteeth@reddit

Before your daughter....how old is your daughter now? If you have a baby or toddler, then leaving your wife for a week to handle them alone isn't the one. Does she get an equal opportunity to go away for a week by herself while you stay home and manage?

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InsurancePurple4630@reddit (OP)

16 months, of course. I encourage her to do the same,. I'm happy having my daughter with me alone at home. I was unemployed for about a year after she was born so got use to watching her alone while my wife rested and done other stuff.

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JameSdEke@reddit

Encouraging your wife to do the same still means she has to go a week at home with a 16 month old. Havin a three year old myself, this sounds like a very difficult week for the sake of you both getting the opportunity to go off for a week separately… if your wife is even happy with that. She might not want a week away by her self, or away from the child. Don’t forget just because it’s something you’d be happy doing on both sides, doesn’t mean she will.

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QuirkyFrenchLassie@reddit

Absolutely. I bet OP left out his daughter's age out of his post because that detail changes his question radically. It's not about going for solo holidays in a relationship. It's about leaving behind all parenting responsibilities so he can get a "well deserved break" in his view when his wife indicated she wasn't keen on that idea. He would have got fewer replies about, yeah, be a modern couple and take time to be individuals with your own needs! Would have been inundated with "selfish parent attitude" replies instead.

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InsurancePurple4630@reddit (OP)

I left alot out..its not that deep lol

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JameSdEke@reddit

Yeah it’s clear to me OP left that bit out on purpose. Honestly sounds like an awful week to be at home and do EVERYTHING with a very young child. I can imagine it being questionable for most couples if the spouse wanted to go away for a week on their own in most circumstances anyway. But telling your wife you want a week away from her and the kid is also pushing into insulting territory imo, especially at a stage where emotions and relationships can be difficult at that point in time. If OP wants their solo week away then they should probably book it for around 2040 when the kid is grown.

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QuirkyFrenchLassie@reddit

Looking after a 16 month old alone for a week isn't the same as sharing responsibility on a daily basis or looking after her for a couple hours while your wife rests. Just in case, maybe prepare yourself for a bit of silent treatment when you come back. Especially that you're posting this and you've literally just arrived for your week's holiday and you already said your wife wasn't hot on the idea in the first place. I was a single mum from when my wee one was 15 months and even though the dad wasn't helping much before, it still made a huge difference. To answer your post more specifically, yeah it's weird.

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QuirkyFrenchLassie@reddit

16 months old apparently. OP hasn't replied much on the thread if at all and everyone is curious about the daughter's age. So I had a wee snoop!

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InsurancePurple4630@reddit (OP)

Yep 16 months

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Worldly_Flower_1441@reddit

Yeah, and then the kid gets zero holidays and they get 1 each. Sounds stupid.

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Cold_Timely@reddit

This is it. You've hit the nail on the head I think. I would be annoyed if my husband did this because if I fucked off for a week it would be absolute chaos and he would barely keep his sanity.

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GypsumF18@reddit

I think going away for a week on your own, leaving your partner with a 16 month old toddler, is taking the piss. A couple of days away seems more reasonable, but only if it is reciprocal (not just that you offer that your partner can do the same, but that *they* *actually want to do that* too). And it's not about going away on your own, some couples are perfectly comfortable with that. If it means your partner has to take a week off work to accommodate your holiday, that's even worse.

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Spottyjamie@reddit

So you want a week to do fuck all whilst she get lumbered with the kid and housework on her own for a week?! I hope upon your return she takes herself off abroad for a week alone.

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InsurancePurple4630@reddit (OP)

I want her to go away and do the same. I'm encouraging her to book a hotel for the weekend to get away.

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Spottyjamie@reddit

So there is still a 5 day shortfall?

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InsurancePurple4630@reddit (OP)

You know what , maybe a week is too long.

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MahatmaAndhi@reddit

We do it. My wife doesn't go alone, but with friends as she feels too vulnerable to go alone. My daughter wants to go to Amsterdam. My son doesn't. I've been before and I'm only interested in riding bikes and getting mashed, so my wife and daughter are going together while I stay with my son. I'm off to Austria later in the year anyway.

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Qyro@reddit

I’d be pretty fucking gutted to be honest. I want to be spending more time with my wife, not less stuck with the kids while she posts about the great time she’s having on social media.

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ChangingMyLife849@reddit

Would you also give your wife the opportunity to go away for a week alone, where you take on sole responsibility for the household and childcare?

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InsurancePurple4630@reddit (OP)

Yh, I encourage that. Whether she does is another question.

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ChangingMyLife849@reddit

So she doesn’t get the same break. Probably because you leave the house a tip, let all the housework etc., mount up so she comes back from her “relaxing break” to a ton of stress. Make sure she gets her holiday first, you get a family holiday, and then raise the idea of going away alone.

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InsurancePurple4630@reddit (OP)

She gets the chance to. No, I take care of my household

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QuirkyFrenchLassie@reddit

Given how young your daughter is, she probably wouldn't do it because she doesn't want to leave her baby for a week. Doesn't mean she doesn't enjoy occasional breaks. So it's sort of an offer that you unconsciously probably know she won't take but which relieves your guilty conscience? Just an idea.

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ChangingMyLife849@reddit

Does she? Do you sit and plan a holiday with her, or do you just tell her to take a week as you’re on your way out of the door?

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2023mustgo@reddit

And not just let all the housework pile up for her to have to do on her return!

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ChangingMyLife849@reddit

Exactly. The fact OP hasn’t answered says a lot

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GrapePapa@reddit

OP *did* answer. Not everybody can reply immediately.

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trikristmas@reddit

He's busy, no WiFi on the flight

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InsurancePurple4630@reddit (OP)

Landed

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CassieBeeJoy@reddit

I think there are a few things to consider: How old is your kid? Are you just leaving your wife to look after the kid and the house on her own for a week? If so, it seems pretty unreasonable. Are you going somewhere that she would also like to go? If you are then I think I would feel pretty put out by that Does she have the oppurtunity to do the same? And if not then do you still have the budget for a holiday together? If you're not leaving her with the kid, doing something she wouldn't want to do and giving her the oppurtunity to do the same then I think it can be pretty healthy. My granddad did a few solo trips because my nan wouldn't have wanted to go and it was when their kids were adults. One of them, shortly after his retirement, was a 6 week trip. And there relationship is very strong. I also met a couple on holiday once who had quite different ideas of a holiday. He spent all day by the pool, she went out on excursions. They just met up for dinner. Maybe this coule be an alternative to holiday alone if your wife wants to come to but you want to do different things.

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minkrogers@reddit

16 months apparently. It reads like he wants a childfree break, leaving his wife to do everything. All these people saying there's no issue with solo travel, errm, no but! He's escaping his responsibilities at a time his wife needs help raising their daughter. Does she get the same luxury? I bet he wouldn't take on a week of parenting while she was away!

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InsurancePurple4630@reddit (OP)

It's something I've always wanted to do, regret not doing it the past. Started a new job where I'm in the office 5 days a week (for now). It all new to pre covid, having a child and being in the office. Weekend is doing one thing or the other. How did people work and have kids pre covid! Anyways as selfish as it may sounds I just need a bit of me time. I encourage her to do the same. I'm very hands on dad. I was unemployed when she was born and spent alot of time with and doing responsibilities while my wife rested up.

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CassieBeeJoy@reddit

Yeah if that’s the case then OP will be lucky not to have divorce papers waiting for him upon his return

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minkrogers@reddit

Haha! I love how I'm down voted. Someone can't handle the truth! 🤣

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seeksadvic3@reddit

The amount of people on this thread who think r/solotravel is weird, Is wild. Do you also think eating alone is weird?

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ChangingMyLife849@reddit

It’s not solo travelling that’s weird. It’s the desire to leave your wife at home with a sixteen month old baby, while making no mention of her getting a similar break.

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Lenniel@reddit

Erm I'm booking a hotel for next week for myself, my husband works offshore and we have 3 kids (teens/tweens) I've earned my break. Now the kids are older I'll be happy to go away for a long weekend on my own. Who am I kidding a week in the sun would be amazing, I know my husband will be supportive too. He went walking in the Lakes the last time he was home. I don't have an issue with it, because his idea of a break and my idea of a break are vastly different.

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ChangingMyLife849@reddit

That’s a different situation. You have 3 teens and are a solo parent most of the time. OP has a 16 month old, so presumably his wife has only just returned to work after maternity leave, and she’s been home looking after the baby for a good year.

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Pedantichrist@reddit

Going to do something that the other would not want to is fine (I go climbing, my wife would never come with me does not want to stop me). Wanting to explicitly just get time away from your partner? Yeah, I would be upset, too.

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rellz14@reddit

Lol most wives would not accept that.

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Kirstemis@reddit

Your wife acts a certain way? What way? Angry, insulted, delighted, excited, shifty, bored?

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BroodLord1962@reddit

So would you be happy for her to go away on her own, leaving to to look after your daughter? I don't have a problem with separate holidays but it has to work both ways

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spik0rwill@reddit

In August I'm going to a music festival in Norway for a week. My wife is fine with me going even though we have a 3 1/2 year old boy. Granted it's my best friend's 40th birthday, but even if it wasn't she'd be fine with it. I did give her the option of coming along, but she doesn't like the genre of music I listen to. She's going away with her sister for 4 days and was expecting to take our boy with her. I told her that I'd gladly look after him, so that they can have an adult holiday. There's nothing wrong with holidays apart if your relationship is strong and trust isn't a factor.

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Own-Championship-398@reddit

My bf has and it pissed me off. I don’t get it, when you’re a couple you are supposed to work as a team not just leave them to be stuck at home whilst you take a break from them. What’s so bad about going on the same holiday and spending a few days of that doing your own thing instead?

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Concetto_Oniro@reddit

I don’t think is super uncommon in long established relationship; I guess it works only if each part can have a solo vacation and enjoying it the same.

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crow-magnon-69@reddit

depends. is it like going on a hippy retreat they know you'll hate? or hiking or painting or something? If so.. ok. based on an non-shared activity. anything else would leave me more than suspicious

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Adamaaa123@reddit

If you like space and are introverted I think I would enjoy doing that too. Hopefully I’ve already laid the groundwork with my GF that I plan to do that sometimes haha

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sjpllyon@reddit

Everyone here saying give your SO the time off too would be fair. But the real move is to dump the children off at their grandparents (if possible) and fuck off to a nice romantic holiday together. Or separate holidays at the same time. That way none of you have to deal with little 'darlings' by yourselves.

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paulruk@reddit

I'm 42, got a 5yo and been married more than 10yrs. Honestly, I'd encourage it and do. I think she needs a break and while that would be great with me (not all 3, not that kind of break) it's expensive and we tend to have to alternate our work leave to ensure we have enough for school days off. Right now, that could be we can't afford a family holiday, especially during the summer holidays, but I'd say a solo one is almost therapeutic right now. What I'm trying to say is everyone is different and holidays are more than being somewhere different.

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FenianBastard847@reddit

In May my SO is going to Turkey Lurkey. Lazing on a hot beach holds zero appeal for me. She’ll sit under a parasol and read her Kindle, I’d be bored out of my brain. And cocktails will be involved. Lots of. Whilst she’s away I’ll go hang out with my mates in my favourite tattoo shop, I love the chilled vibe, and no doubt I’ll come out with a few nice pieces. Running out of space🤣🤣🤣 And later in the summer I’ll go to France on the motorbike. On my own. Being self employed I just look at the work diary and if I have no jobs booked in then I get a ferry sorted and go. It works really well, I hate lying on a beach, she don’t like getting on the back and she don’t like mountains, win win😎 We’ll probably go to a country house hotel in the autumn😊

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lewisw1992@reddit

Totally fine.

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Fuckenachicken@reddit

You’re up to no good. Who the hell would do this except a gambling addict or a cheater. I don’t care how much you protest, you’re red flagging it hard

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Exact_Setting9562@reddit

What are you going to do that you can't do with her ? If it's some kind of hobby then yeah fine. If it's sitting on a sunbed then that's a bit odd.

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sausagemuffn@reddit

Relax and not have to worry about another person?

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hairychinesekid0@reddit

Lol imagine being in a committed relationship with someone who just views you as a burden. What is there to worry about? Personally I’d be more worried about leaving my so home alone with a young child.

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Exact_Setting9562@reddit

Presumably your SO is a grown human ? There shouldn't be too much worrying to do ? If they're a worry abroad - god knows what trouble they would be left at home.

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Mithent@reddit

Not worrying about their behaviour, rather about always worrying about whether you're doing things you're both enjoying enough. If you want to spend all day in an art gallery you don't need to worry about whether they're getting bored, for example, or if you want to try some unconventional experience you don't need to worry about whether they'll like it (maybe *you* won't like it, but taking your own risks is a bit different to imposing them on someone else).

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Streathamite@reddit

He’s a father of a young child. He signed up for always having to worry about another person

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QuirkyFrenchLassie@reddit

Some parents forget to read the small prints unfortunately

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Blueyedleeloo@reddit

Pay for it and let them gooooooo! Life is short, marriage is long.

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Hamsternoir@reddit

Even when the kids were a year old my wife went off for a week to Sweden to see an old friend. Doesn't bother me in the slightest.

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LegoCaltrops@reddit

I wouldn't mind at all. I went for a weekend away to somewhere I'd always wanted to go, when our daughter was 4, at my husband's suggestion (birthday present) & came back to find he'd night trained her. No more nappies or wet bedding, yay!

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insertitherenow@reddit

My wife does. No problem with it at all.

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TuMek3@reddit

I’m about to do this for the first time, she’s not overly ecstatic about it. My gf likes all-inclusives and sun-bathing, I like culture and hiking. If I want to do that I have to organise it myself. I also get loads more leave than her so it works out quite well (I hope).

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im_at_work_today@reddit

Enjoy your trip. I'm similar to you. I like holidays where I'm moving my body constantly. So culture, hiking, whatever sports or activities are on offer. My last few bfs haven't been as keen. But when you organise your own trip away, it's nice being able to plan things (and change plans), exactly how you wish. And you get to be selfish, in that you don't have to compromise or be considerate of another person. I always come back from a solo trips feeling much more mentally and physically refreshed.

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Nine_Eye_Ron@reddit

Releived.

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dazed1984@reddit

I would have no issue with that. But if you have a kid I feel that’s a bit unfair.

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pixelunicorns@reddit

Without kids or huge responsibilities, not a big deal. My partner and I sometimes holiday alone because we have different interests and sometimes it's nice to not have to worry about someone else's wants. Now we have a home to pay for, a dog, and about 100 projects going on we have to prioritise our time off and it seems nowadays we'd much rather holiday together than alone because we can't go on holiday very often, it's cheaper to split costs, and it feels more special to spend the time together I'm not a parent, but I can't imagine I'd be too happy if my partner decided to go on holiday and leave me alone with the kids. My parents only went on solo holidays once us kids were old enough to take care of ourselves, less burden on the other parent.

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TheAdamena@reddit

Doesn't matter how we feel mate. Your wife isn't happy with the idea, so unless you're looking to eventually get divorced you ought to respect that.

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heywhatwait@reddit

My wife is going away with her pal next week, and although I’m miss her (my wife, that is), I’m not bothered. On the plus side, I banked that particular coupon and I’ve booked a few days away solo for later in the year. Which I’ve been wanting to do for a while now. It did feel odd booking it without her, mind. Footnote: my wife is convinced I’ll lose my passport in the airport, and I’m not betting against her 😬

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Nero_Darkstar@reddit

I think you need your head shaking. You should be there to support your partner and raise your child. If you want a holiday, you all go. You don't get to opt out for a week, what are you 12 years old and stomping off to your room.

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lalagromedontknow@reddit

I've been away by myself a few times and my partner then meets me and we have a holiday together - I love my partner to pieces and before we got together, I travelled alone fairly frequently because I sometimes really need some new scenery and to just be on my own and figure out what's going on in my own head without other people. So I take a few days somewhere by myself, sort my shit out and then have a nice holiday with my partner.

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Aterspell_1453@reddit

I go on my own when I want to visit family in my home country. I wouldn't go on proper holiday without him because I like going with him but other than that I do a lot of stuff on my own.

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MichealHarwood@reddit

My wife does long weekends away with her friends and I do the same with mine and we find it’s good way just to get a break. But if my wife said she wanted to go away all by herself for a week I’d find it strange in all honesty. But each to their own.

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carlbandit@reddit

>And it's not a trust issue. How sure are you about that? If it's not a trust issue, what issue does she have with it because her reason could massivly change how people would feel about their partner going on holiday alone. If she's overworked from looking after your daughter and you're wanting to go off and leave her to struggle alone, then you'd be more of an asshole, likewise if you going off alone on holiday would mean there's no budget left for her to do the same, you'd also be an asshole to do so. Say you can only afford the 1 holiday, maybe she'd rather you go on holiday together or as a family.

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Hellohibbs@reddit

Wouldn’t find it the slightest bit odd! You do you.

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Unhappy_Archer9483@reddit

Reddit is not the place for a civil conversation about something like this

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ErrrorWayz1@reddit

My wife has a 3 day weekend away about eight months our first son was born which was fair enough as she had to do 100% of child care as I had new job in London. She tried to pull it 2 months ago - he's now 6. That didn't happen.

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LanguidVirago@reddit

My ex did, 3 to 4 months in Morocco every winter, I barely gave a shit.

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One-Dig-3067@reddit

I mean it’s pretty selfish and your wife probably is taking it as an insult that you want time away from your family and don’t care about her needs and leaving her alone lol

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Jeff_Steelflexx@reddit

I’d be okay with it, means I can have a week doing my own thing at home

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2023mustgo@reddit

They have a kid, so...

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nadthegoat@reddit

I’d be ok with my wife doing so, week away from the kids and the stresses of the daily grind on your own sounds like bliss, but it would absolutely be one in the bank for me to do the same.

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GRAWRGER@reddit

id find it odd because its not in his nature. but i think its normal and healthy to have "you" time. nothing wrong with a partner wanting to spend some time reflecting on their own, and doing what they want to and their own pace. if anything i think it should be encouraged.

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emls1994@reddit

Going alone or with friends or family? My boyfriend is off with his family next week, and I'm off with mine as well. The only reason I'm not going with him is because he's going to his parent's Chalet in La Tzoumaz to ski, and ideally you need to know how to ski there because it's fucking expensive as hell, if you're a beginner then that location is not for you unless you have the money. So I'm going to the humble New Forest with my parents!

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saccerzd@reddit

I'm surprised so many people find it odd. I've been with my partner for 8 years. We have a child together. We go on holidays as a couple, as a family, and sometimes solo. It's not weird. We're self employed so we don't have to worry about annual leave, and the only limiting factor now is our child being at school. If one of us fancies doing something or a bit of winter sun etc but we can't both go at the same time, what's the issue? It's quite nice to have a few days apart once in a while in any case.

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RopeOk7076@reddit

We do it all the time. It's great. S not sweat.

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bedlam90@reddit

Me and my Mrs have taken it in turns stopping in a hotel for a couple of nights to just chill. We have two kids 3 and 1 plus a dog and a cat, our home life is chaos we never get time with each other or alone, we also don't have anyone to look after kids. My wife was really struggling so I sent her to a hotel and she came back happy lol I went a couple weeks later and it was bliss I slept for 12 hours and went swimming it was awesome

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phizzlek@reddit

Yeah this is weird

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PKblaze@reddit

I wouldn't see anything wrong with it. Now and then my GF takes a break from me and stays with her mother for a week. It's good and healthy to have some space now and then.

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RoutineTrifle5978@reddit

Personally it's something that I've always fancied doing. It's not that I don't enjoy spending time with my husband and kids, just that I've always enjoyed having time to myself as well. A week to myself would be dreamy.

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Forsaken_Flounder142@reddit

Go ahead! It's really nice to have your own time doing whatever and not having to care about anything.

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heliskinki@reddit

No problem. We all need our space. My wife has green lighted me to take some time out, I'm just too busy to take up the offer. Ideally I want to stay in a lodge looking over a lake for 4 days, to read, smoke weed, and maybe indulge in some fungals. Reset and then back to it.

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No-Pride168@reddit

My wife did lots of travelling before I met her. She's had no problem (and encouraged) me to go somewhere if I want, which I have done.

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ConnieMarbleIndex@reddit

I’d think they wanna cheat or leave me behind doing all the housework and looking after children like I am some maid not entitled not holidays. Unless you pay her to go on her holidays by herself this is pretty shitty.

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everyoneelsehasadog@reddit

Mine did it. I went on a girl's trip to North America and he fucked off to Spain and I took it as an opportunity to get the plumbers in to start the bathroom Reno. If he wanted to go away alone again I wouldn't have a problem. We have joint finances except for fun money, so joint pays for hotel + flights, but your day to day spend is from your own budget. So I wouldn't even be too bothered financially either. However there's just the two of us and a dog. No kids which probably changes things.

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Loose_Command_7920@reddit

**If my significant other wanted to go on a holiday alone**, I would approach it with an open mind and consider a few factors: 1. **Trust and Communication**: - Trust is essential in any relationship. If there are no trust issues, it's crucial to communicate openly about the desire for a solo holiday. - Discuss the reasons behind the trip and any concerns. Is it for self-discovery, relaxation, or adventure? Understanding the motivation helps build trust. 2. **Individual Needs**: - Everyone has different needs for personal space and independence. Some people thrive on solo adventures, while others prefer shared experiences. - Recognize that wanting time alone doesn't reflect negatively on the relationship—it's about fulfilling individual desires. 3. **Balancing Independence and Togetherness**: - A healthy relationship allows for both independence and togetherness. It's essential to strike a balance. - Encourage each other's personal growth and interests. A solo holiday can be an opportunity for self-reflection and rejuvenation. 4. **Emotional Reactions**: - Understand that emotional reactions can vary. Your wife's feelings may stem from her own experiences or fears. - Reassure her that your desire for a solo holiday doesn't diminish your commitment to the relationship. 5. **Compromise and Boundaries**: - Consider compromise. Maybe plan a mix of shared vacations and solo trips. - Set clear boundaries—for example, agree on communication during the solo holiday to alleviate any worries. Remember, relationships thrive when both partners respect each other's autonomy and support individual growth.

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Banditofbingofame@reddit

Eww AI

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7he_Dude@reddit

nice try ChatGPT

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Banditofbingofame@reddit

We have kids and do this. We have separate holiday type things some times. I go to the F1 with friends and went to a few games.for the rugby world cup and the wife is going on a horse riding holiday in Spain. Both of those things would bore the other to tears but that doesn't mean the other should miss out. We usually go away separately once a year each. The key is making sure it's fair and equitable. We spend time together and have a family holiday but that doesn't mean you can't do the things you want to do. We have had people say things like 'I can't believe you let him go away so much' or talk about giving permission as if we aren't separate grown ups. We check it's ok with eachother for logistics with the kids but otherwise it's all good. It makes me sad how many people don't do the things they want because their partner doesn't want to do them too.

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Lola_Bo@reddit

My partner went on holiday alone but did ask me to come along first. It was because he was doing a 5 day hike and I couldn’t think of anything worse 😅we talked everyday so it was fine and there was communication but I don’t see it as an issue if it’s something they want to do and I don’t

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Background_Leg6105@reddit

I love holidaying alone...did it for years whilst single and still do it a little now I'm settled down. My partner doesn't really get it and wouldn't do it himself, but he is OK with me doing it. I do keep most of my holiday for him though.

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castle_lane@reddit

Gf and I are avid travellers, I spent a month in Japan while she was back home in America over Xmas, we’re a modern couple and trust one another, can’t see the issue.

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TheMinceKid@reddit

Trust my wife 100%. If she wanted to, she has my support.

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Beautiful-Cell-470@reddit

My (m) partner (f) has had solo trips before. I dont see anything wrong with it. I would quite enjoy having a holiday on my own as well 😂

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Only-Magician-291@reddit

If it’s somewhere I would also enjoy then I would find it odd, maybe less if it was just for a few days but a week is a long time. Obviously if it’s for a specific activity or similar that wouldn’t be interested in then fair enough but a week on a beach, yeah I’d find it odd and maybe feel a bit sad.

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IansGotNothingLeft@reddit

I don't care. And he didn't care when I went away with a friend.

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Cultural_Tank_6947@reddit

My wife and I have had enough holidays without each other. Granted it's never been solo holidays but we've never really felt like doing solo trips either. Although not sure if a solo trip is worse than lads (or gals) trip.

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paunchandjudy@reddit

Because sometimes you need your own space. I went for one week to Italy on my own. The freedom if not having to coordinate schedules or decide what we wanted to do was amazing. Just sitting in a cafe with my book. On my own. Getting married felt like it took away some of my individuality, but then again, I’m an only child who had lived on my own for 10 years before I got married. I need to be alone with my thoughts and do things my own way sometimes. My husband didn’t like it, but he understood why I wanted to after I explained clearly and agreed to it. I’d love to do it again at some point (that was around 6/7 years married and it’s been almost 20 now) But he’d never go without me. He prefers to spend family time, so that’s what we do most times, even though it feels like a lot. It depends on your personality, what kind of person you were before you got married and how long you’ve been married. She might feel that you’re starting to pull away from her and is fearful of what it might mean, not that she doesn’t trust you, or she might be a bit jealous because it’s not something she’d do but doesn’t like the idea of it not being reciprocal.

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TSC-99@reddit

As long as she can go on her own too another time

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TheGulfofWhat@reddit

I think its healthy. However, it completely depends on the dynamic of the relationship. My partner wouldn't find it weird and would be fine. Of course, she wouldn't be happy if there was no communication at all for a week and she would expect a video/phone call every few days.

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mbnnr@reddit

My parents do, mum goes with a friend and my dad goes biking. Then they go on one together.

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mbnnr@reddit

My parents do, mum goes with a friend and my dad goes biking. Then they go on one together. Basically I'm getting no inheritance

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Bumblebee-Bzzz@reddit

My partner goes on holiday with our son for a week or two every summer. We both work from home so are around each other constantly. I could go with them if I wanted to, but having some time apart is good for us.

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AffectionateCoffee27@reddit

I've always been a solo traveller normal for me to disappear for a couple days in a tent. Or fly to Italy on a cheap one to visit something. My ex absolutely put a stop to that when we was together. Found it weird that I didn't want to go with her. I just don't think non solo travellers understand and with it being your wife there's got to be a compromise. Maybe only a weekend. Maybe together but spend 2 days doing your own thing. I think there has to be some give.

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Fig_Neuron@reddit

Only if she's allowed to do the same thing. Solo travel isn't weird. It's wonderful especially when you need a true break.

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jasperfilofax@reddit

I’d be really sad

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Scarred_fish@reddit

Completely normal, we do it all the time. Going away together is really difficult so it makes far more sense and effectively twice the fun.

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Remote_Echidna_8157@reddit

Probably wouldn't care, I travelled by myself for two years in my twenties.

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ComplexOccam@reddit

If I bring it up she’d probably pack my suitcase…

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Smeetsie11@reddit

Fine. My boyfriend went away for nearly a week last October. He’s a teacher so gets more time off than I do. He wanted to go away, I couldn’t, so he went alone. Of course it’s more fun to go together but I’m not going to stop him if he wants to go somewhere and I can’t join him.

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Signal-Attorney-9491@reddit

I would find it great and would encourage it so long as they were safe. People get so invested in couples that it's easy to forget they are two individuals. They are their own person and deserve to have their own fun!

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decentlyfair@reddit

We have had quite a few holidays apart over the years doesn’t bother me in the slightest.

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blackthornjohn@reddit

My wife goes away forca holiday once or twice a year, we have massively different tastes when it comes to foreign travel, she needs the whole package deal whereas I'm more likely to just turn up and pretty much wing it for a few weeks.

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BannedNeutrophil@reddit

Hmm, yeah, I can see that being a bit weird. Perhaps she's picking up on "single man going to Thailand" or "single woman going to Italy" vibes, because I am.

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judochop1@reddit

which is just plain ridiculous and loaded with insecurity.

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SignificanceOld1751@reddit

My wife and I met young, her moreso than me, and as such she has never travelled alone. I would absolutely love for her to do it, because it's such an incredible experience and I'd like her to be able to experience it.

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judochop1@reddit

meh, she does it all the time, and so do I. We are both obviously concerned in terms of security (she went off 3 weeks to an african nation in the middle of nowhere!) but ultimately, what you gonna do? Enjoy your solo time at home :D

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ThickThighsThinVeil@reddit

Wouldn't and doesn't bother me. My husband's job is to travel so he's always in loads of places. I want to travel too so if he can't get the same leave I will still go. If it was out of spite or I didn't trust him then yes I'd be bothered. If we had kids and the same luxury then wasn't afforded to me I'd have a problem with it.

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prettyone_85@reddit

I do it all the time, its nice to be alone sometimes and just do the day how you'd like to

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Swiftlet_Disco@reddit

I don't care. My partner went away for two weeks to the Maldives last year and I stayed at home with our 4 year old. He works really hard and I wasn't keen on doing the flight etc with a small kid. Lots of people thought it was hugely audacious of him but I think he deserved it. Also he'd do the same for me. I'd miss our son too much right now but would definitely do the same in the future. Everyone needs an adventure now and then.

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Ooh_aah_wozza@reddit

I have a holiday every year without my wife. I love cycling and hiking, which she hates, so I go away on my own to do what I enjoy. Have been away with friends too, but I find both hobbies more enjoyable if done alone. She never goes away alone, but does go away with her family every year, which I avoid because...

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WestLondonIsOursFFC@reddit

If it was a "holiday holiday" rather than for some specific purpose, I might be annoyed. I've been to Vegas a couple of times on my own to meet up with friends. My wife's been abroad for weddings or to visit family. That said, it's never been instead of doing something together or as a family. I wouldn't necessarily criticise you for wanting to do it, but I could see why your wife might be a bit miffed.

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ConChest@reddit

I’ve been on holiday a couple of times with solo-traveller groups, and a few people on every occasion (myself included) have partners that aren’t with them.

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SaltyAlphaHotties@reddit

We've never tried it, but have discussed doing separate solo holidays. Would love to do it someday. I like to socialise, but I also like to walk around with just my thoughts sometimes.

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YchYFi@reddit

I've been on nights out alone before. He's gone away when I've been working.

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Creepy_Medium_0618@reddit

i often go solo. well most of the time if not with my bf. he showed some disbelief so he thinks i’m a bit weird? but i don’t care coz it’s the freedom i enjoy

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World_wanderer12@reddit

My fiancé goes away on his own a fair bit. He has more leave than me and we both love to travel. I don't think it's odd at all.

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Realkevinnash59@reddit

I've been with my bf for 12 years. I'd ask why he wanted to go alone, but ultimately be ok with it. There's places I say I refuse to visit that he wants to go to, so if he really wanted to go there, i wouldn't mind not coming along.

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Iamamancalledrobert@reddit

Well, they do it all the time, so I would feel unsurprised

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Least-Push-1140@reddit

Personally I would find it odd but everyone’s relationship is different

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destria@reddit

If it was a holiday with activities that he wanted to do that he knew I wouldn't enjoy, then I'm all for it. But honestly if it was just because he wanted to get away from me for a week, I'd be a little hurt just because that's not a normal dynamic in our relationship.

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No-Warning4684@reddit

I'd find it weird. I can't imagine preferring to go on holiday on my own when I could go with my partner

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VolcanicBoar@reddit

I've been on holiday a fair few times without my wife, so not that fussed.

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