Folks who moved to the US, what's keeping you here? What are some good things about the US?

Posted by Herrowgayboi@reddit | expats | View on Reddit | 36 comments

I moved here when I was a kid (forcefully since my dad found a job here). Not too long ago, my family moved back to JP and I ended up staying alone to wrap up college, which ultimately lead me to just getting a job here. Maybe it's just me, but everyday i'm here, I'm absolutely hating life. I can't seem to find any positive thing about living here anymore, but since I've established life here (with a house and wife), it'll be hard to just drop the ball and move tomorrow. That said, in order to keep my sanity, I would love folks to basically r/changemyview, to be able to see America from a more positive light. What's keeping you here? What are some good things about the US? For reference, I'm in the Bay Area, CA. The problems I just have on a daily basis are: * Living Standard in relation to COL. I'd totally understand if living standards are high, but even living in one of the richest cities in America, it's living standards are relatively poor that (for example) it just feels ridiculous to pay almost $15-20 for an awful meal and THEN have to give a tip when all they did was just say "hi", "here's your food", "here's the check". * People. IMO people don't have common sense and it's all about "me me me". Independence is awesome, but it seems like everyone wants to be better than everyone else here and has no respect for anyone else. * Politics. This is something I just cannot understand. Every country has politics, but it seems the US integrates politics to even daily life. Don't agree with certain things? You're a bigot/devil and we can't be friends. * Racism. Your skin color isn't of a certain color? Good luck. Even though I live in a highly populated Asian neighborhood, I can still face racism. COVID definitely didn't help, but its insane to me that some non-asian people have the audacity to even be racist in a highly populated asian neighborhood. * Things to do. The only thing I keep hearing about that's great is nature and the outdoors. I won't lie, it's nice... But not like you can easily do it every day... And even if you were able to, you'd probably get bored of it quick. I know I have. * Crime/safety. Don't even get me started on this. Crime/Safety standards here are an absolute JOKE. In CA alone, there's even a rule that allows criminals to do up to $900 of damages/theft without getting slapped on the wrists. INSANE. The only real positive things I can think of are: * Income. There's no way I'd be making my income, owning a house and living very comfortably in Japan. Income levels are much lower. * Social pressure. Basically in Japan, you're basically forced to remain the same social status as everyone else or need to look up to someone of higher status than you. It brings on a lot of social pressure to remain the same as everyone else or look up to someone higher than you, so it's nice to have a little bit more independence/freedom state side.

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36 Comments

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Bewaretheicespiders@reddit

Im in the subburbs of Houston, Tx. Compared to Canada The housing cost are low, the taxes are low, the salaries are higher, the currency is better, the people are nicer, there is very little crime in my area, the food is better and cheaper, the weather is nicer, the public schools are far better, and I can actually see a doctor. The one thing that bugs me is the scam spamming. Buy a car or a house, and its a non-stop stream of scam attempts by mail or phone.

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Crypt-Bor@reddit

Cool im from Houston and live in the heights.

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Bewaretheicespiders@reddit

Go Rockets!

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Crypt-Bor@reddit

haha go rockets!

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justanotherlostgirl@reddit

What’s keeping me here is the salary here. There are good things here but the bad are overwhelming the good, hence the planning. And with cost of living, the salaries that are larger aren’t that solid anymore.

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Herrowgayboi@reddit (OP)

>What’s keeping me here is the salary here. I think this is what im seeing too... Only the salary seems good, but everything else just sucks. Makes it really hard to continue living here QOL is making it ever more difficult to live here.

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Longjumping-Basil-74@reddit

I don’t think your definition of racism is matching the reality of how an actual racism looks like. If someone doesn’t like you it’s not a racism, it’s their protected right and you need to get over the fact that people are allowed not to like you, for any reason. If you go to a shop and buy something and get a poor treatment from the person serving you because of your race, it’s not a racism. If they refuse to sell you anything because of your race, it is, and I’ve never seen this happening in the U.S. Same with the hate crime. Hate is not a crime (in the Us) and hate speech is still a speech and is protected, regardless of how much it upsets others. A crime motivated by the hate - is a hate crime. I’ve never observed any actual racism in the US, only the examples of people exercising their right for the freedom of expression. You have a very low chances of becoming a victim of a violent crime. Most of murders, for example, are gang related, drug related or domestic violence. Stranger attacks are very rare. Most of gun violence is suicide. However I agree with you on the point about CA. I moved from NY to FL before I relocated to the Uk, and can tell you that all other points are dramatically different state by state. It’s completely different life in one s another. Wages grow with the rate that cannot be compared to any other country. You are going to be better off financially in the US. Plus taxes are lower. (I will be returning back after my assignment is over). I feel way less safe in the UK btw.

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Herrowgayboi@reddit (OP)

>I don’t think your definition of racism is matching the reality of how an actual racism looks like. So being told "to go home because i'm a f\*cking ch\*nk" at the start of COVID when i'm minding my own business shopping around or being told "I look like one of those asians" when I asked about a forced tip is not matching the reality of how actual racism looks like? Pretty sure that is clear cut racism. You might not have experienced it, but I sure have and it definitely ISN'T freedom of expression.

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uktrucker1@reddit

As a U.K. national I agree

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Worldly-Ad-6014@reddit

Money, the only answer is money. There are way b etter places for everything else except MONEY.

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YorgusLabradorus@reddit

I moved from Norway to Chicago a few years back. One thing (among many) that keeps me here is just how massive the scope of opportunity is here (I also met my wife here) I absolutely love the midwest, it's a familiar climate to where I grew up up in Tromsø and the people are honestly just the best. As a Norwegian we're very quiet and introverted even amongst our own kind, but to arrive somewhere and have people with genuine sincerity want to learn about you and be a friend is something I've never seen anywhere else. Personally I've been all over the US and while the media (and most of reddit apparently) likes to make out that the US is a third world country, I've never seen anything that proves it. Yes, there are incidents where these bad things happen but they also happen across the rest of the world -it's just that the US shouts a lot louder than the rest of us. Above all else, the US is what you make of it -I can with absolute certainty say that it's the one place in the world where the idea of the "American dream" is alive and well. I came here, built my business and am absolutely killing it out here. **The US rewards those who seize the initiative.** If you choose to abide by what the news, tiktok or reddit tells you it's like then you're never going to do much with that you've got and you'll always be treading water rather than moving forward resenting your life. Will I move back to Norway? Most likely yes, it's my home and I know my wife always enjoys coming back with me for our regular visits. (In fact we're back at the moment for Syttende Mai)

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fairygodmotherfckr@reddit

Gratulerer med dagen!

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uktrucker1@reddit

I agree, the people who say it’s shite are the people who have no degree, work shit jobs etc, if your a professional with a good degree, you’ll make an absolute fortune in the US

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LearnDifferenceBot@reddit

> if your a *you're *Learn the difference [here](https://www.wattpad.com/66707294-grammar-guide-there-they%27re-their-you%27re-your-to).* *** ^(Greetings, I am a language corrector bot. To make me ignore further mistakes from you in the future, reply `!optout` to this comment.)

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hudibrastic@reddit

$15 for a crap meal? Amsterdam is the same but with 1/3 of the salaries Politics in Europe are just not as divisive as in the US, but because you barely can express a different PoV, to say basic human biology now is a taboo and nobody speaks out afraid of consequences

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Icy-Farm-9362@reddit

I've been in Japan for over 18 years and have zero intention of returning home (UK). Japan has its issues, but it's not a bad place to live. I'm single though, with zero desire to marry and have kids. If I had such desires, Japan would be pretty bad.

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stickypix@reddit

What's keeping me here? Nothing anymore, I'm moving away in two months to never return \*fingers crossed\*

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degeneratebitchh@reddit

I envy you

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degeneratebitchh@reddit

I envy you

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SleekKoiFish@reddit

First off, I'm sorry to hear that you're not enjoying life in the Bay Area. It sounds like you're dealing with a lot of frustrating issues, like the high cost of living and lack of common sense among some people. But as someone who's lived in multiple regions of the US, I can tell you that these problems aren't unique to the Bay Area, and there are definitely positive things about living in America overall. For one thing, the US is incredibly diverse, both in terms of its natural landscapes and its people. While you might be feeling bored of outdoor activities, there are plenty of other things to do, depending on your interests. You could explore different neighborhoods in your own city, try new foods, check out museums or cultural events, or even just take day trips to nearby attractions. Another positive aspect of living in the US is the sense of opportunity that many people feel here. Yes, the cost of living can be high, but there are also a lot of jobs and career paths available, especially in fields like tech that thrive in the Bay Area. And while politics can certainly be frustrating, the US is still a democracy, which means that citizens have the ability to advocate for change and work towards a better future. Lastly, I think it's important to remember that no place is perfect. Every country has its problems, and it's up to us as individuals to decide what we're willing to put up with and what we're not. Maybe the Bay Area isn't the right fit for you, but that doesn't mean that all of America is a lost cause. If you're feeling stuck, maybe it's time to start exploring other parts of the country and see if there's a place that feels more like home. Good luck!

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Herrowgayboi@reddit (OP)

 >For one thing, the US is incredibly diverse, both in terms of its natural landscapes and its people. While you might be feeling bored of outdoor activities, there are plenty of other things to do, depending on your interests. You could explore different neighborhoods in your own city, try new foods, check out museums or cultural events, or even just take day trips to nearby attractions I definitely agree the US is incredibly diverse, but it's a double edged sword IMO. It's amazing we can experience different cultures within a matter of minutes, but with it also is just a level of racism. If I want Mexican food, well, I'm the "chino guy" who showed up. If I go to a fancy french restaurant, I've been forced to pay a tip rather than give one because "I seemed like I'm from asia". I could explore areas around me, but I genuinely feel there's nothing interesting around here or the US in general. >US is the sense of opportunity I honestly feel this is like one of the only good aspects of the US. There's no denying the US has an immense amount of opportunity and great pay. >Every country has its problems, and it's up to us as individuals to decide what we're willing to put up with and what we're not. There definitely is no such thing as a "perfect" country, but I feel like ever since I've moved here, America has just gone down hill for the worst. Bay Area specifically definitely has more expats than ever before, but with it, I feel a ton of tension from "locals" who grew up here getting pushed out. >Maybe the Bay Area isn't the right fit for you, but that doesn't mean that all of America is a lost cause. Not wrong, however, I feel at some point, I'm limited to my options. I've done quite a lot of travel around the CONUS for work and some leisure travel, but nothing really stood out. For example, anywhere north, bordering Canada, there's pretty much nothing other than nature. East coast... Beyond NY, there really wasn't much interesting, but even then, NY was meh to me. South/South east, I've visited a few states and that was more than enough for me, being called a ch\*nk, g\*\*k, oriental, getting weird looks... Laughable... Leaves me with basically the Bay and LA.

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ConceptualAstronaut@reddit

I'm from Mexico, currently doing a postdoc in the US. I've been l here for a couple of years now, in the Northeast at first, and now in NC. I have traveled extensively within the US throughout my life and I grew up partly in Canada, so moving here was not that big of an adjustment. I'm not saying there's no racism here, but I think Americans see the world outside of the US with rose tinted glasses when it comes to anything race related. The US has many faults, but it has been phenomenal successful in building a multiethnic and multicultural society. I've lived in Canada, Mexico and China, and traveled extensively in Europe, and I feel people from different races, backgrounds and social classes have a much better chance of integrating into American society than in pretty much anywhere I've ever been to. Again, that's not to say that everything's perfect, but it really isn't as bad as in most other countries, at least in my experience. I think it's good to not catastrophize. You should try to understand your needs, the kind of lifestyle you want and if the US is the place where those needs/lifestyle can be met. If not, there's no shame in thinking of moving somewhere else. But moving simply out of a sense of despair is almost never a good idea IMO.

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Zomgirlxoxo@reddit

Sounds like you need to get out of NorCal, the US has places that can fix most of your problems you’re facing

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ltudiamond@reddit

Not going to lie, since my mom is leaving, I find it hard to justify why to stay But I am staying to try this one job opportunity to work remotely and be able to split time between two countries and travel in general Will see how long I will last here What keeps me in the US is the fear of not finding a good paying job in my Eastern European country and too afraid to another EU country. Plus I have nice place here that is cheap

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Handbook5643@reddit

You sound like you live off of Reddit, speaking in Reddit subs etc. it’s very hard to change the mind of someone so entrenched in their beliefs so I’ll just say it in a language you’ll understand - yes indeed r/AmericaBad - there’s nothing good about it, leave

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You-are-a-bad-mod@reddit

Complains about racism in the US as an Asian, thinks Japan is better. Sure, if you’re Japanese, Japan is better, but everyone else is gaijin and if you think Asians are treated poorly in the US, you have really got a surprise waiting for you in Japan.

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SuspiciousOnion2137@reddit

We moved from the East Bay to a suburb near Philadelphia eight years ago and we like it much better. The people are less polite but more kind, the public amenities are fantastic, the cost of living is lower, water falls from the sky often enough to keep things green, the restaurant scene is varied and interesting while being much cheaper, and we do not have to fly as far to leave the country when we want a change of scenery.

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tfcocs@reddit

Native San Diegan here; I moved to the Philadelphia area when I was in my 20s for grad school, and never left. I second what you said about being less polite but more kind, and the lower COL.

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Smurfies2@reddit

Lived in my (European) home country for going on 30 years, been in CA nearly 10 now. I am also half-American through one of my parents and spent a lot of summers in various states growing up, so I feel I have a pretty good overall perspective on the pros and cons of the 50 ‘countries’ that make up the US. Let me get this out of the way first - I deeply hate the politics here. It’s the thing that makes me want to run away the most. It’s getting bad in lots of countries though so I can’t even really dream of escaping the mayhem when election season comes around. And when I look at it more dispassionately, I am less affected by it in my corner of the US than I would be by bad politics in Europe. And that’s what keeps me in the US. That I have a corner in which I can thrive. That just was not possible for me in my home country. I have so much more choice here, in every possible way. I have made many more genuine friends in my 10 years here than in my decades at home, in part because I feel so much freer to be myself now. Don’t get me wrong, my friends I have at home are friends for LIFE but there’s not even a handful of them. Here, I have such a rich and deep community - it’s what I’ve been missing my whole life. And yes, the money is fantastic. I got to completely spoil family members who visited me and it didn’t even cost me a thought. I can afford to visit them regularly. And my job is very flexible about time off. Also, I am getting the best healthcare of my life. This is due to my job paying 95% of my excellent insurance but even with private insurance at home, I was not thrilled with how I was treated. These are just my reasons. I am lucky to have had these choices, but I’ll be choosing to stay in the US until retirement. Then I might go between the two places because I do love where I’m from too, even if I don’t want to live there.

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Impossible-Hawk768@reddit

What's keeping a lot of people here is that emigrating is hard. It's lengthy, expensive, and tied up in a lot of red tape.

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Simple-Ad5000@reddit

It used to be a long list My list became shorter and shorter Diversity of scenery: from one state to another, it seems a different decor Application and technology in my everyday life make some tasks easier than in Europe. Paycheck and being paid twice a month Some services 24/7 Returns and tryouts Clothing with sizes and length More OTC vitamins and medications My worst are the healthcare systems, the healthcare systems and the old infrastructures and the healthcare systems, and the reason I will not retire in the USA.... the healthcare system

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ErnestBatchelder@reddit

>IMO people don't have common sense and it's all about "me me me". Independence is awesome, but it seems like everyone wants to be better than everyone else here and has no respect for anyone else. It's funny because the very thing you hate about here, you dislike the inverse in Japan- social pressure to conform & not rise above one's station- & it also bums you out. One thing I am a firm believer in- there are cultures and places that are better intrinsic matches for us based on how we like to navigate the world, but also that any move will never fix issues that are more internal. I am currently stuck in the South Bay for family issues, lived in LA for 20 years & now back here probably for at least another year, but planning on my exudus because I do have duel citizenship elsewhere. I am trying to also use this time to learn how to feel positive about the things that I know I do like & love about CA, so that I don't take that frustration and irritation with me when I leave. I take a nature walk every day or at least walk around the neighborhood, and I make an effort to note the things that are pretty here. Once a month try to see the ocean. There is a lot you can find that's lovely, and I appreciate that even though it is no longer my place or thing, it is still an area that people from around the world would love to live in, so I must be able to find a few good things.. The weather is nice, I am grateful for the kind of produce that is reasonably local to CA, I focus on the friendly people I meet and try to ignore some of the ruder ones. That's all the advice I've got.

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Batgod629@reddit

Well, certain people would tell you leave the SF area. I recently saw Dave Chappelle joke about how bad its gotten there apparently. Though don't let those people get to you

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MitchellVanDerBooben@reddit

Wow this is not what I want to read right now when I got an offer to move on a 1 year contract to the san francisco area :(

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koolforkatskatskats@reddit

San Francisco is one of my favourite places in the US. It has its problems, but oh my god, it’s so lovely. It’s like a more cultured and interesting LA. It’s like a west coast New York. Especially as a gay man, I love San Francisco. Believe me I want to move from Toronto to London uk, there’s a lot of Brits who say the same to me this guy is saying about the US. It’s not going to stop me though, I love London and I want the opportunity. Every experience is different. Follow yours. Good luck in San Francisco.

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HVP2019@reddit

Wow… I moved to San Francisco Bay Area in 2000 from Eastern Europe. This was my choice. ( we lived in San Jose/Los Gatos for 20 years till my husband retired few years back and we moved to Sacramento area to be closer to family) What keeps me here is that I actually lived half of my life in another country before moving to USA. I love my birth country and I will not going to trash talk about my homeland and my people back home, but having realistic, honest views about my homeland helps me to have realistic views about my adoptive country. 1) We did not had huge going out culture in my home country, so I don’t go out often here either. Food is cooked at home most of the time. So occasional meals out do not ruin my life. I haven’t had terrible service in USA. 2) Common sense. I did not find any meaningful difference between levels of common sense in USA and back home. As for “me” comment. As a migrant living with whole bunch of other Bay Area migrants I have absolutely zero pressure to confirm. There was way more pressure to confirm in my home country. 3) Currently am way more invested in political situation back at home and way less about politics in USA. Politics are messy everywhere. 3) I am white, my daughter is about to marry wonderful young man( son of Taiwanese migrants). There are living in Cupertino where my daughter is the only white person on her street. When I compare mainstream social media and people from back home I see that back home are less aware of their own racism. There are making comments that would be unacceptable here. Eventually, I am sure, people in my country of birth will become more aware and will change for better. 4) things to do. I lived in European city. I have more things to do in American suburbs. 5) crime is not an issue. First of all, there is really nothing of the value in my house worth getting into trouble. I have solid middle class life with all the things But my TVs, electronics, clothes, furniture are really not worth the efforts to break into my house. I just wrote about positives of my life on another thread so I don’t feel like writing again. In short I have comfortable middle class life here, I like people around me, a lot of them happens to be migrants, so for me to say that I don’t like Bay Area people is the same as to say I don’t like Chinese, Indian, Mexican, Filipino, Iranians, Jewish, Polish, Croatians. I also know that I would be perfectly happy in countries like Canada or UK, or Australia or France but I have everything I need here , and I don’t know what more would I gained by moving to another country.