What is the psychology behind the CFI who berates/is abrasive/condescending towards the student?

Maybe I can chime in, I've just "fired" my ex-military (xm from here on) CFI within spitting distance of my checkride because I just couldn't bear it anymore. I will try and answer some of your questions. I just realised I pay too much money to be someone's punching bag. ​ >Does creating an additional layer of stress for the student pilot mold them into becoming a better pilot over the long run? Maybe it works in the military for some, but it surely doesn't do it for me. And this is coming from someone who had to teach others different skills, so I learned that this type of style doesn't create a smarter person. ​ >Or perhaps the CFI is under so much stress/fear of something bad happening (injury/plane damage), that they take the stress out on the student? In my view, it's not it. Maybe there are xm dudes out there that are scared, but mine isn't and always does a semi aerobatic manoeuvres to greatly exaggerate my mistake and show me why it's bad to do it. It achieves nothing but increase my stress and my lesson goes downhill from there onwards for me. ​ >Or maybe the CFI has told the student the same thing 30 times, and is tired of repeating themselves? Maybe this is more likely the case. ​ >Or maybe the CFI hates instructing altogether and takes it out on the student? Hell yes ​ >Or maybe I am too much of a softie and this is just the way the world is and I had better get used to it? Don't even think about this shit. There were times long ago when to own a motorcycle you had to be most likely a badass wrench monkey and you couldn't go on a roadtrip without knowing how to take apart your bike and put it together really quickly, and you had to know what each piece does exactly. Now you can pick-up a bike that just works and couldn't care less of what is the type of person that gets in the saddle. Maybe in Aviation were were similar times, but those times are long gone, and today we have more and more women, and people of all genders joining in and doing it without giving a damn, and that is great IMO. I believe this is just a gate keeper mentality that you have to be a badass Rambo type or you can't be a pilot ​ TLDR: I can't speak for everyone, but I think my xm CFI really hates teaching or at least teaching me, so he thinks prolly I'm not worthy to learn to fly and prolly thinks I'm wasting money but is too chickenshit to say it to my face. My take is he shouldn't be in the right seat if he wished anything less than the success of the person on the left seat, because he is acting and being paid as an instructor. So really, don't worry what's going though the head of this Rambo wannabe and just find someone who wants at least as much as you do to succeed. Good luck!