What advice would you give to someone who doesn’t want anything?

Posted by Volatile1989@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 14 comments

I’ve just come across a post where a guy was looking for advice regarding his friend who felt rather down about his life. In the comments, someone had replied with ‘get him to write a list of the things he wants’, and that got me thinking, what do I want? I’m racking my brains, and quite frankly, not a lot springs to mind. I’m mid 30’s, single, got a good job, 80k in savings, small group of friends, and nothing major to complain about. There is only one thing that springs to mind, and that is more friends. I’m at an age where people are starting to settle, and I’ve got no interest in being in a relationship, so I need an alternative. Other than that, nothing. And even then, I’m not that arsed. I realise that I am incredibly fortunate, as people have far worse problems than I do. But it feels empty. Any advice?

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14 Comments

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Nipsy_uk@reddit

Buddha said:- All life is suffering. All suffering is caused by desire. Therefore If you don't desire anything you don't suffer, you can't be happy if you always want something you can't have.

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merc0526@reddit

OP do you have hobbies that you enjoy? I've found that since I became single again hobbies are one of the main things for me to look forward to. They can also be a good way to make new friends.

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Volatile1989@reddit (OP)

I’ll read, watch TV, play games, go to the gym, and I’m learning an instrument. Other than that, not a lot appeals to me. I tried climbing in the past, but I didn’t enjoy it.

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merc0526@reddit

Yeah, you've got pretty similar hobbies to me by the sounds of it. Are you into any sports? I play a lot of golf and I've found that's a pretty decent way to meet people, particularly if you join a club. I used to play a ton of football and at the time that was a good way to meet people too.

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Willeth@reddit

You don't have to want anything. It's okay to be content.

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Stunning_Ad7647@reddit

You sound like me and a lot of my friends. We don’t know what we want!

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PinkSudoku13@reddit

I am in similar position to you and am an absolutely awful person to give gifts to. I love gifts giving but I never know what I would want as I have very specific preferences or I simply get things myself. I typically ask for favourite sweets from my home country. My mother still can't understand how I can be happy with just getting a box filled with sweets but I explained to her that I can get myself other things I want and I'll get exactly what I want while if other people buy these things for me they'll be either wrong or too expensive to purchase as a gift. But I won't treat myself to a bunch of sweets so when gifted a box filled with my favourite candy, I'll be as excited as a child. She still doesn't quite understand but I always get favoruite sweets and snacks as gifts and I am perfectly content with those gifts.

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ReturnoftheFunkulous@reddit

Buy a Porsche

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Volatile1989@reddit (OP)

Most of my savings will be going towards a house, but maybe one day!

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ReturnoftheFunkulous@reddit

Very well done on hitting that savings btw and I don’t mean that to be patronising. Perhaps purchasing that house will provide a sense of fulfilment. It did for me. Now to focus on the next thing… the Porsche

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Volatile1989@reddit (OP)

Thank you! It’s taken me nearly 10 years to get to that point, and with renting on top, it was no easy feat. Maybe, I’m still looking around so fingers crossed I find something soon.

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Happy_Boy_29@reddit

Enjoy the way, attachment and desire causes pain to all living things, as Mr Buddah observed in the mythical three teachings of China.

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CliffyGiro@reddit

If your life feels empty you could try volunteering in a role that you personally feel is purposeful? Done a lot of different volunteer work in my time and at time even paid work in the third sector and I look back on it all quite fondly. Last year I was on holiday and bumped into one of the young people I used to support and he introduced me to his partner by saying “this is Cliffy this is the guy I always tell you about, this is the guy that volunteered at my group…” Made me wish I could still volunteer to be honest.

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