If your year 4 kid is invited to a birthday party at their mates house would you stay too?

[-]

PopHead_1814@reddit

Why is everyone so scared of communication. Just ask.

Reply

[-]

DeirdreMcFrenzy@reddit

Yeah, it blows my mind that someone even typed this question out!

Reply

[-]

ThoseTwo203@reddit (OP)

I’m in a new area. I was kinda hoping to meet more parents but wanted to gauge if it would be weird to ask/offer to stay

Reply

[-]

PopHead_1814@reddit

Exactly, could have picked up the phone and found out in less time than it took them to post this.

Reply

[-]

frumentorum@reddit

Only if you have their number. A lot of kids parties will just have time and address on a piece of paper handed out at school

Reply

[-]

PopHead_1814@reddit

Fair, but then I don’t think I’d consider leaving my child at someone’s house if I didn’t know the parents.

Reply

[-]

RosssLFC@reddit

I'm presuming maybe the child has come home with an invitation but the parents don't know each over? Either way hopefully the host frequents this sub and can answer OP

Reply

[-]

JameSdEke@reddit

9/10 questions in this sub would be resolved if people just communicated with the other people in question.

Reply

[-]

Ferret_76@reddit

Because they might say yes, and then the OP will miss out on a couple of hours of peace!

Reply

[-]

The single worst thing about having kids. I hate having to attend the birthday parties. I'm a 36 year old punk with pink hair so none of the other parents want to talk to me and they are so up their own arses that I don't want to talk to them. I've tried but they're so fucking boring that I end up sitting alone drinking coffee watching the clock tick down to leaving

Reply

[-]

mrbullettuk@reddit

I’d talk to you. I discovered one of the other class dads was a bass player in a well known (in the scene) ska punk band. I’d played bass in an indie band. We both look like normal office people these days.

Reply

[-]

THEMADGRANDMOTHER@reddit

Nope, if they were happy for me to go I'd go.

Reply

[-]

CHB-x@reddit

Ask the parent

Reply

[-]

StrawberryOver513@reddit

Shove them out the car and hide a bit further up to make sure they got in the house safely. Return just after the time so you can make sure its definitely finished.

Reply

[-]

Olijohnewbie@reddit

I hope this is a joke question and you didn’t follow your child to a children’s sleepover

Reply

[-]

Verlorenfrog@reddit

Prefer not to, but if my kid was anxious, or something felt off I probably would

Reply

[-]

WallabyNo4330@reddit

I'm Scottish. What is year 4?

Reply

[-]

Loose_Acanthaceae201@reddit

We hosted a Y4 party at home and were glad nobody stayed. The house was *full* with ten giddy nine-year-olds. So no, I wouldn't expect to stay at a party in someone's house. I would probably stay at a venue party such as laser quest, trampolining, etc because you're not in the way.

Reply

[-]

NennisDedry@reddit

I'd go and gauge it on the day. Be prepared to stay, be prepared to go.

Reply

[-]

DarthMaulofDathomir@reddit

Just start singing "should I stay or should I go now"

Reply

[-]

Mundane-Reindeer2975@reddit

"Rock the casbah, rock the casbah...no wait what was it again"

Reply

[-]

Cool_Bit_729@reddit

Don't ask me, I'm all lost in the supermarket

Reply

[-]

Mijman@reddit

croquembouche cake

Reply

[-]

VictoryAdditional403@reddit

Do you actually want to stay? Are you worried about your child? When mine were younger some parents stayed sometimes - e.g. when we were at a venue rather than our house, one offered to stay as she said it was easier than taking the bus home then back again. She did help out with food etc. That was around age 8 / 9.

Reply

[-]

Madyakker@reddit

See what everyone else does. 8 or 9 is quite old to be expected to stay IMO. Plus if they’ve invited say 15 kids, is there enough space in the house for all the kids plus just as many adults?

Reply

[-]

chipscheeseandbeans@reddit

Oh I just realised that it says “year 4” not “4 year old” - these replies were so confusing a minute ago haha

Reply

[-]

obsidian_n@reddit

I read it the same lol

Reply

[-]

Southern-Ad379@reddit

See how you feel. If everything is clearly under control and your child settles happily, leave them. If it’s chaos, or the parents look like they would appreciate help, or everyone else is staying too, stay!

Reply

[-]

Particular_Meeting57@reddit

Don’t ask, drop them off and run away quickly. Cross your fingers and hope you don’t get a phone call in the middle of the night to come pick them up. Year 4 is about 8-9 year old right?

Reply

[-]

Fawji@reddit

Personally I’d stick around but when we’ve had a party I’ve had parents drop kids off and scarper.. I ended up having to drop a few off which annoyed the hell out of me.

Reply

[-]

7148675309@reddit

Plenty of threads on this in r/parenting. When I was 4 - my birthday party no parents stayed. My oldest sons last two (5 and 6) - parents stay.

Reply

[-]

BoredConfusedPanda@reddit

simple solution: Ask the host(s) about anything you are unsure of

Reply

[-]

Trigg_UK@reddit

I would discuss with the family of the host.

Reply

[-]

dannybxx@reddit

No of course not. If you are not comfortable letting your year 4 kid stay over then don’t let them but don’t go yourself. That would be weird.

Reply

[-]

ZookeepergameOk2759@reddit

I’d personally stay with a four year old nothing wrong with that

Reply

[-]

MythicThicket@reddit

Yes I’d assume staying unless they said otherwise.

Reply

[-]

soepvorksoepvork@reddit

Ask the parents?

Reply

[-]

azkeel-smart@reddit

Passed that age now but I used to ask the hosting parent if I can leave my kid alone. It depends on the child as well. I wouldn't if my child wasn't fully independent and confident to stay on their own.

Reply

[-]

lsobe@reddit

Reception and year 1, stay. Year 2, could go either way. Year 3 onwards, drop and run

Reply

[-]

InternationalUnit143@reddit

Just ask the parents if they need a hand, if they say everything's covered it's a hint that you're not required to stay imo.

Reply

[-]

Emergency_Mistake_44@reddit

Literally ask what time to pick them up and go about your business. The host parents have their hands full enough with all the kids to be making sure you're fed and watered too, getting in the way. The only exception at that age to stay is if it's a massive house and there's a BBQ or something.

Reply

[-]

x1rass@reddit

4 years old, I'm staying for the full party 6, i'll stick around for a bit and then probably go wait in the car 8, tell my kid to be polite, have fun and try not to have any emergencies, I'm off to the shop

Reply

[-]

Elster-@reddit

Drop and run started at about 5 year olds parties. Greatest thing ever

Reply

[-]

RonaldDonald00@reddit

Offer to give them a hand setting up etc, make your decision based on their answer.

Reply

[-]

Badgersbutthole@reddit

If there is beer.

Reply

[-]

Slartibartfast39@reddit

Absolutely stay. In our group parents who drop and run are a little looked down on.

Reply

[-]

isPepsiok82@reddit

What? Why? My 9 year old can wipe her arse or ask for a glass for a water, why do you want me to hover in your house?

Reply

[-]

Slartibartfast39@reddit

I read four year old, rather than year four.

Reply

[-]

shauneok@reddit

I'm literally hosting a party now, only reception but we'd happily have parents to stay, gives you someone to talk to.

Reply

[-]

BreadWonderful8656@reddit

I may be in the small majority but I don’t want my kids going to sleepovers. I’ve heard too many horror stories and I don’t want to put my kids in that danger. You never truly know someone else’s intentions or character. I want my kids to experience a good childhood and I know danger can happen in any way but I’m just so scared for when they get to this age to be invited to these things

Reply

[-]

Reginald_Jetsetter@reddit

I'd leave and come back in a week or two

Reply

[-]

CloCloChloee@reddit

I would turn up 5 minutes late and see if the other parents did. If I’m not sure I would ask if they want me to stay. If they say they don’t mind I would go.

Reply

[-]

underwater-sunlight@reddit

Ask first. They may have a few adults hanging back to support already and not want too many. They might have underestimated how chaotic kids parties are and be struggling.

Reply

[-]

nikokazini@reddit

As a host I’d normally have one or two parents I know better who I’d ask to stay and help ahead of time. Everyone else please don’t come in and don’t be late for pick-up

Reply

[-]

GeorgeWFrance@reddit

Is there a free bar?

Reply

[-]

Heraonolympia123@reddit

I've done both. It mostly goes on ifni know the parent well enough.

Reply

[-]

Dr_Rapier@reddit

Just ask the host what their expectation is.

Reply

[-]

Unseasonal_Jacket@reddit

Y4 is definitely separate. I wouldn't expect or want any parents in my house for a 8yo party. Unless we were doing something riskier and needed crowd control. (blind folded knife fights?) Or there were additional needs I couldn't cope with. Go and enjoy 2 hours of peace

Reply

[-]

Sea_Turnip969@reddit

I thought you meant stay over as in stay the night which I thought ‘would be weird for the adult to bring their own sleeping bag too’. I wouldn’t stay personally unless you like to chat to other parents about parenting.

Reply

[-]

BCisshite@reddit

I thought this said 4 year old and the answer would be stay but by 8/9 definitely dump and run. With my eldest it was about 7th birthdays that the shift happened.

Reply

[-]

martin_81@reddit

No year 4 party at a friend's house is drop and run. Enjoy a couple of hours of freedom.

Reply

[-]

CharmingRun8606@reddit

I probably would. Also, the parents would likely appreciate an extra set of eyes and hands to help them out!

Reply

[-]

spaceshipcommander@reddit

I'd sit in the car because my daughter can be very shy but I also want her to gain more confidence around new people.

Reply

[-]

GoGoGoldenSyrup@reddit

Are you talking about a kid who's about eight or nine? If so, I'd say it depends on the parents hosting the party. If you trust them (and you know they're capable of managing a horde of tiny rampaging hungry velociraptors - *you* look at a group of hungry kids swarming a buffet table and *you* tell me you don't murmur "clever girl"...) then I'd say you can assume the party'll be fine. I know one of my cousins, when her daughters were that age, would often make sure there was somewhere concerned parents could sit, have a nibble and a drink *just in case* something happened (it never did). If the party's at an entertainment venue then you can relax as well (unless it's axe-throwing). There's nothing stopping you from asking and offering to help out, OP - some parents would be grateful for an extra pair of hands or eyes and ears looking out for mischief.

Reply

[-]

Engels33@reddit

Drop off parties seemed to start in Y1 for us... We even did it once in YR although that was an exception. Not at Y4 yet but would be surprised if that wasnt the default by then.

Reply

[-]

Regular_Estimate_511@reddit

I would absolutely dump and run.

Reply

[-]

touch_me69420@reddit

I wouldn't even slow the car down when I dropped them off. Remember kids tuck and roll

Reply

[-]

AlternativeFair2740@reddit

Drop and go is the gold standard. Enjoy your free time.

Reply

[-]

astromech_dj@reddit

Most of my kid’s friends’ parties are drop off. There’s never enough room for all the adults.

Reply

[-]

sunshinelolliplops@reddit

Probably not but it depends on the child. If they are very anxious or a bit over excitable I would stay for at least a bit to see how they settled in.

Reply

[-]

MoebiusForever@reddit

Yes, at 4. By the time they’re 6/7 no.

Reply

[-]

Sleepyllama23@reddit

Year 4? No! Don’t cramp their style. Maybe make sure the parent has a contact number for you for emergencies.

Reply

[-]

idkwhatuwantfromme69@reddit

Depends if theres booze or not

Reply

[-]

guesysis@reddit

Erm, absolutely not. This is a Michael Jacksonesque question.

Reply

[-]

DameKumquat@reddit

Year 4, I'd assume the kids and parents would separate. Some parents would invite you in for a drink to hang out with the other parents, others won't. Reception parents usually stay or check it's ok if they don't, but not beyond that.

Reply

[-]

Sallytraffic101@reddit

I’m probably out of touch but I’d imagine at 9/10 years old your kids wouldn’t want you stay. Give it another couple of years and they won’t even be talking to you!!!

Reply

[-]

manhattan4@reddit

No, after about year 3 (7 years old onwards) I was leaving my number and coming back to collect at the end.

Reply

[-]

All_within_my_hands@reddit

I would ask the parents if they wanted a hand. I wouldn't assume either way as it's a trivial level of effort to ask them, and it's the decent thing to do.

Reply

[-]

AutoModerator@reddit

**Update: - [Starting from 2023](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/comments/100l56v/happy_new_year_askuk_minor_sub_update/), we have updated our [subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/about/rules/)**. Specifically; - Don't be a dick to each other - Top-level responses must contain genuine efforts to answer the question - This is a strictly no-politics subreddit Please keep /r/AskUK a great subreddit by reporting posts and comments which break our rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Reply

Reply to Post

79 Comments