What are the CVs you have seen that stood out for all the wrong reasons?

Hiring managers, business owners and recruiters. What are the worst examples of CV writing you have had the pleasure of reading? Alternatively, maybe you were the applicant, and the only feedback you got was a barely concealed snigger. EDIT: Worst I have seen. Position in question mid level health admin/reception roll. Experience was listed as essential. Applicants CV included the phrase “as a mother” five times. All work related experience was related to mothering. There was no employment history. The reference was from a cafe in another city, which from what I could gather, the applicant had never worked for. I felt sorry for this applicant as they were obviously trying to build a career, but they were in desperate need of guidance and CV writing advice.