Does anyone get more irritated with their parents as you get older?

Posted by SIBMUR@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 20 comments

Sounds bad but hear me out. I'm 32 years old and have always had a close relationship with my parents. They've always been amazing, given me much more than I could ever need etc etc But recently I'm finding I can't be around them for long before I get really irritated. They're both 62. I'm actually living with them for a few weeks whilst having something done to my own house. Case in point today, my mum has this really hard to use timer in the kitchen to listen out for when food is ready but she can barely hear it from the other room where she watches telly. I showed her how easy it is to just use her phone to time things and that way she doesn't need that terrible timer in the kitchen. She just refused constantly and said she'll stick to that timer for no reason whatsoever. Then tonight, she went in the kitchen and realised the timer hadn't set properly and she had no idea how long the dinner had been in the oven for... This sounds daft but I just find them so stubborn sometimes or maybe it's just because I've been under some stress recently I don't know! I love them to bits but just finding our relationship has a new dynamic to when I was younger, maybe that's normal. What are your experiences?

20 Comments

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Aromatic_Nobody1873@reddit

Keep reminding yourself that it wouldn't bother you if you weren't having to live there. I hope your building work goes quickly

LilacRose32@reddit

I enjoy it when my dad tells me something authoritatively that I told him the previous week 🙄

Mine talks to me like we've never met. Last week's gem was 'ive always had a big appetite '

tinytempo@reddit

Have been back with the ‘rents since Covid. Noticed that I too was getting more annoyed with the little things even though I love them to bits. Dad passed away a few weeks ago. It’s been tough to say the least. More so because my mum has early stage dementia and she drives me fucking insane. Sounds horrible, I know. But unless you’ve actually experienced it 24/7, it’s hard to fully appreciate the frustration. To be argued with and accused, when all I try to do is cook for her, take her to places, help her in general, and remind her of the important things - THAT is some demoralising shit right there. I sincerely hope neither of your parents ever get dementia. Not only is it tough for the person who is unfortunate to have it, but it’s also extremely tough on the loved ones. This cruel disease strips people of their memory, and simultaneously strips relatives of their patience, as a result almost turning people against those afflicted. Today I am drained of energy and just feel full of guilt from the arguments. It is a truly awful thing. Fuck Dementia.

Noesfsratool@reddit

Its the inability to have an adult relationship with adult children that gets on my tits. Even my partners mum was lecturing me on having sugar in my tea struggled to stay polite after a weekend of hectoring on various subjects.

LoccyDaBorg@reddit

I visited my mum today for her birthday. When I left she said "text me to let me know you've made it home OK". I recently turned 50.

ChocolateSnowflake@reddit

I’m in my mid-30s, my friends and I always ask someone who’s travelling alone to let us know when they reach their destination safely. I don’t see that as a parent/child thing, just a caring thing.

pastiesmash123@reddit

There's nowt wrong with that. In fact it's quite nice

ellie_bellie_ben@reddit

It’s nice she’s showing she cares. We visited my parents in Cornwall and I messaged my mum when we got home (4ish hr drive) to say we were home ok and it had been nice to see them. She replied back to say I needn’t bother sending the ‘we got home’ message as she’d find out one way or another if we’d had an accident.

Adventurous_Toe_1686@reddit

Living with your parents after having a period of living without them will no doubt irritate you, the same way you parents become irritable living with you. It’s not an age thing, it’s a living with your parents after having freedom thing. Trust me, your parents hate living with you as much as you hate living with them, they’re just better at hiding it.

Sorry-Fig-612@reddit

I understand what you're getting at. Im the same. I put mine down to the fact that they're getting older and I'm helpless in the cliff-face of time.

OccidentalTouriste@reddit

You put your parents down? But harsh that.

You should join r/dankmemes with that kind of humour. Really top notch /s

OpeningConsequence65@reddit

It does sound pretty awful. Maybe just appreciate them for what they have done for you, and have some respect that they have different ways of doing things. One day you'll be 62 and a bit slower in your ways. If staying with them is getting to you maybe go for a walk or stop with friends instead.

Dwolfg3@reddit

Sorry OP has someone who as lost both my parents Im telling you treasure every single moment with them because god forbid and I truely hope you have many many more years with your loving parents you will miss them when they are gone

SIBMUR@reddit (OP)

Yeah I totally get that. I guess that's one of the hardest things about life is that you do get irritated with people you love but don't appreciate them truly until they're gone.

True that. My mum always treated me like a 10 year old even when I hit my 50s and was grandfather myself still got a slap if I stepped out of line or swore give anything for her to still be doing that.

troqx@reddit

>Sorry OP has someone who as lost both my parents Im telling you treasure every single moment with them because god forbid and I truely hope you have many many more years with your loving parents you will miss them when they are gone Yes. My mum drives me nuts and I can't be around her for more than 24 hours, but I will miss that crazy delinquent crazy cat woman terribly when she goes. Which I hope won't be any time soon.

Sloppypoopypoppy@reddit

Yes. I am in a constant state of horror as I witness myself slowly morphing into Saffy from Absolutely Fabulous and finally understanding her pain.

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