Moved for work and feel like I made a mistake

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I also moved to Europe from a warmish third world country (California) smack dab in the middle of winter. Had to buy a coat! It was unbelievable. Dark and depressing, no friends... just work and back to my small little company paid, minimally furnished apartment. I made the most of it though... with nothing to do, I got some reading done. Seems like a lifetime ago now that I have so much stuff to think about (kids, relationships, finances etc)... but back then it was just me, my book and a reading lamp (and maybe a bottle of wine to sip on), no other worries in the world. Enjoy it while it lasts... Summer is a few months away.

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sadanddepressedexpat@reddit (OP)

I really want to get into my hobbies or watch a movie but when I sit down to do it, I dont want to and start getting stressed up and anxious. Im hoping this is temporary as Ive lost my appetite as well

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Luvbeers@reddit

pure encapsulations b-complex plus... takes the edge off of stress and anxiety. go for a run before work also.

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derby63@reddit

Do you have any hobbies? Do you play any games/sports or do anything that can be done in a social capacity? I know you're limited during the winter, but the first thing I do when I move somewhere new is find local clubs/groups for the sports I play and the interests I have (hiking, book club, language exchange, trying new bars/restaurants, etc...). They're a great way to meet locals and other expats and get involved with the local community in a fun and friendly way. Also, many cities have English speaking expats groups online that physically meet up on occasion as well. Do a search on Facebook and other social media platforms for expat and other social groups in your city. https://www.meetup.com/ is also a tool I've used to find fun clubs and events going on in whatever city I'm in.

Finally, utilize your coworkers! Even if you don't become friends you can at least ask them for local recommendations on fun things to do or places to go that relate to your hobbies/interests. For example, I play tennis and even just asking people if they play or know anyone who does and can they please introduce me has opened so many doors over the years!

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up_town_rat@reddit

Hopping on to agree here and say that meetup is the best. When I moved, I struggled at first (for an embarrassingly long time) before I finally bit the bullet and went. I’d recommend sports or an activity to get started, bc as people mentioned, idiosyncrasies can be hard to navigate and I find working towards a common goal much much easier than just sitting down to talk at first. And also, language classes might be the ticket as well, there’s lots of friendly new arrivals who probably feel just the same as you, especially in a beginner course.

Second, you’re doin the damn thing!! It’s awesome, it’s interesting, and it might suck, but it’s something you’re going to learn from, a whole lot. You’ll probably even learn things about yourself that you never wish you did, but it’s important. Also, you can use all of that to bond with people over. A lot of people in Europe move all over the place for job opportunities. No one in my friend group shares a nationality or age, and yet, we all made the same choice and bonded over it. There is hope, trust me, from someone who called her mom every single day for a long, long time.

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sadanddepressedexpat@reddit (OP)

Last line hits me hard. Ive been on the phone with my mom all day for the past few days, never talked this much before. I tried Meetup but unfortunately there are no events in the surrounding areas

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Bdoodled@reddit

Do you mind elaborating on where you are and where you are from? If you are in the nordics, there are actually alot of great theift shops for winter gear as it sounds like you don't quite have the proper wardrobe for this climate which can be an issue! I'm happy to DM if you need someone to talk to as I am planning to make a similar change in the next year or so.

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sadanddepressedexpat@reddit (OP)

In Fiinland, yes. I bought thermals, windproof/warm coat, face scarf, snow boots, mittens, for skiing. but eventually the cold seems to penetrate through it.

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watdissitbout@reddit

Finland is worst country to be in if you want something meaningful. Work life balance is good but people are shallow and racist

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sadanddepressedexpat@reddit (OP)

Meaningful in what way? I havent faced any racism so far

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watdissitbout@reddit

Relationship in general. If you are not white you have less change. I’m speaking of from experience and what I have heard. They are kind and nice but on the surface you cannot move from there. But maybe not all people like that

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Bdoodled@reddit

Someone in Finland can probably attest to it better than I but layering is key if you don't already.. wearing one big warm thing will not be good for insulation. So wear wool gloves, leather on top, and then synthetic fibers on top if possible for hands. Baggy layers will also help keep your core heat warm when the wind picks up.. Everyone has already given amazing advice but you did move at the worst time of year so it will definitely get better! I'm 29 as well and trying to find work in Finland so I visited just a few months ago and the late spring to summer is worth all the cold now I promise! Sending you lots of strength!

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watdissitbout@reddit

I can tell based on his description either he is in Finland or Norway

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thoughtsyrup@reddit

Yes, don't underestimate the importance of dressing for the weather. Try looking for gloves with fingertips that allow you to type on your phone.

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LogSlow2418@reddit

As others have said, your feelings are valid and normal. It’s ok to not be ok

Let me give you some advice about dressing for the cold. I grew up in and still live in cold climates but had family move from the Caribbean and had to help them acclimate. I also helped classmates in college from India get the right gear for the cold.

Two main things are get better gear for the cold and dress in layers.There’s a saying that there’s no such thing as bad weather just bad clothes lol.

Go get yourself a warm base layer. Get warmer socks. Get boots rated for the cold temperatures. Get gloves that are designed for touchscreens. Make sure your coat is both insulated and wind proof. The insulation will keep you warm but without protection from the wind you will be molested by the cold. Look for Gore-Tex fabric or similar.

Dress in layers - you’ll need at least 3. A base layer, middle layer and outer layer. The base layer is like your underwear but made for cold weather. It’s usually long pants and a long sleeve shirt. The middle layer is your normal clothes. Since the cold is really bothering you, add another layer like a sweater/jumper over your normal shirt too. Your outer layer is your coat, hat, scarf and gloves. Yes you need the hat and scarf, even if your coat has a hood. You can get a longer coat that comes down to your thighs too. Like a Canada goose.

If you really want to, get ski/snow pants to keep your legs warm. I personally tend to get cold on my legs first so I often wear more layers on my legs than some.

Here’s some more layering advice

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Best-Hawk1923@reddit

I moved to NJ/US and in my experience (and looking at some friends and colleagues), the 1st year is shitty for everyone. And I came with family (wife, 2 kids) to a place where language/culture was much easier and with lots of people in similar situation and background. So lots of things supposedly better than your situation and it was still shitty. It will get better. It requires effort and as mentioned above, you can always go back so don’t torture yourself. Don’t underestimate the winter blues - force yourself to get some sunlight during the day and get yourself those artificial LED lights to substitute for sunlight. The winter darkness can really get you depressed.

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Francis_Dollar_Hide@reddit

Helsinki?

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TravisLedo@reddit

Odds lean more towards Stockholm haha

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blu3tu3sday@reddit

OP said in another comment that he is in Finland, in a small town

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TravisLedo@reddit

Ah that makes sense

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friends_in_sweden@reddit

It isn't nearly that cold in Stockholm (-12 C yesterday). My bet is that they took a job in one of the more industrial cities in the north where there has been a ton of expansion (Luleå, Umeå, or Skellefteå) those places are really far north (8-10 hour drive north of Stockholm) and also harder to live in more generally (hostile climate, far way from everything etc.)

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TravisLedo@reddit

True!

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Everpatzer@reddit

I would have guessed Tampere. Even here in Turku it hasn't been much colder than -20 (not counting the wind chill).

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DivineAlmond@reddit

there is a significant chance that its gonna be OK

take long walks

hit the gym

drink less, eat better

TAKE VITAMIN D!!

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blu3tu3sday@reddit

Adding B12 to the list of things to take to feel better :)

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TheGhostOfCamus@reddit

They'll be an ice cube if they take long walks. Didn't you read it was -30 degrees.

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sadanddepressedexpat@reddit (OP)

This is the biggest problem, otherwise I wouldnt mind any long walks

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mkvgtired@reddit

Working out is a great alternative to walking in the winter. Take it from someone that grew up in a cold climate.

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cocochronic@reddit

and magnesium! Helps with vitD absorbsion and SADD

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SeaworthinessSea6027@reddit

All of these are great tips. Take vitamin D daily - don't skip on it. Hitting the gym after work (when it's already dark out) is great for your mental health. You'll feel better and won't just doomthink your night away in your apartment. When the weather allows, go for a decent walk - fresh air is amazing.

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Spirit_Bitterballen@reddit

Just here to add TAKE VITAMIN D GODDAMIT

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SiebenSevenVier@reddit

Hey. First of all: I completely empathize. I moved to Germany many years ago and the first couple of months felt very much like this. Let me start by normalizing what you're feeling. Most people seldom hit the ground running when they move to a far away country. This is genuinely normal. It takes a bit to acclimate, so please be patient and be kind to yourself.

On a more concrete note, let me share a few suggestions based on my experience: 1) double-down on learning the language. It will empower you on a multitude of ways, open doors and enable socializing. 2) Go to the gym and work out. It doesn't matter if it's your jam or not. Just do it to release endorphins and combat the awful weather and the negative feelings. I promise it will help. 3) Tell your colleagues that you need help socializing. Seriously. Kindly ask them to include you in some of their social activities. Most people want to help. 4) Join one or more local expat groups. You're going to find people who have gone through this and will be able to coach your through this process, not to mention the opportunity to make friends.

Finally, please contextualize all this by putting it on a timeline. You're 29, you're young and this is just a moment in time that doesn't define your life. You're not married to this decision. If shit doesn't work out, you go back home, get a new job and carry on with your life. Worst case scenario, you'll come back with some valuable life experience.

All the best!

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sadanddepressedexpat@reddit (OP)

Ive been a regular gym goer prior to this, but in such cold weather and smaller town + no car, it feels like a journey to go there everyday. Likewise for the exploration

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blu3tu3sday@reddit

It is easy to stay cooped up at home, but force yourself to go out. Also remember that you are in the least-hospitable time of year- days are short, it's very cold, even the locals are not as active as they will be in the summer. It will be hard to get through the winter but you will find it easier to socialize and make friends once the locals emerge from hibernation; right now, everyone wants to stay home where it is warm

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gott_in_nizza@reddit

This is great advice. In particular the language part. I learned German in my first year here and now speak it like a native 24 years later, which completely changed not just my experience here, but the course of my life.

Expats that just get by on English have much much more limited options and experiences.

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browneagle2085@reddit

Wow! And… I believe in internet advice again! Well done and stay blessed 🫶🏽

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SiebenSevenVier@reddit

<3

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ukacunt@reddit

Item 4 saved me in Belgium. I joined a long defunct group called "Fringe". They organised all sorts of outings and I made real life long friends through it. It was run by a guy call "Rocky" some sort of Latin dude I think.

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Financial-Banana1106@reddit

Wow, as a new comer to northern germany and being in moreless the same mental situation with the OP, your comment really helps. Thank you again.

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SiebenSevenVier@reddit

It's my pleasure. And let me share one more thing about my experience in Germany that I hope can be of use to you.

The first year was rough for me. I struggled a lot with the differences in the little idiosyncrasies, the mannerisms, the small deviations from what I was used to that bugged me to no end. But at some point at around the 1-year mark, which is when my German went from zero to clumsily serviceable, something just clicked with me. It's silly, I know, but it was the idea that Germany isn't better or worse, that these differences weren't better or worse, they just were. And once I accepted and embraced those small cultural peculiarities, I was able to embrace the country, the people and all the wonderful things it has to offer.

I don't know if this will be helpful or not, but moving abroad is difficult and I wish someone had told me this on day one :)

Best of luck!

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RevolutionaryBee6859@reddit

I love you for this advice, where were you 7 years ago when I was in the doldrums?

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SiebenSevenVier@reddit

In the doldrums myself, figuring things out ;)

Much love.

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Detective-Ryan@reddit

🫶

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srtlv@reddit

So apparently you are in Finland. Welcome! The cold spell we are going through right now is also hard for locals. This is not the usual winter weather, and it will get a lot better already next week, so just hang in there! This doesn’t mean that the weather will be like this for the rest of the winter! Next week temperatures should be between 0 and -10, which is the normal winter temperature.

When you go outside in around -30, please understand that it’s extreme weather and you really need to wear a lot of clothing, especially as you are not used to it. I would suggest the following: 1. a layer of thermals: merino wool or warm synthetics. Long pants and sleeves. 2. Warm joggers and sweater or warm hoodie. 3. Thick winter jacket (with hood) and snow pants or other wind-proof pants (but they need to have a warming layer, not only the wind-proof layer) 4. Socks and woollen socks. 5. Winter boots. 6. Two pairs of gloves, or very thick and warm mittens. 7. A beanie, and pull your hood on top of the beanie. 8. A scarf to wrap around your neck and to pull over your mouth and nose while outside.

Note that this is the minimum for walking anywhere, and if you are going to spend more time outdoors, you will want to add another layer (more thermals or an additional sweater).

As others have said, it’s always difficult in the beginning but it will get better! Also, thanks to the weather it’s really a magical winter wonderland everywhere in Finland right now, so do try to enjoy the beauty!

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sadanddepressedexpat@reddit (OP)

Thanks for the response, are you from here too? I've been wearing thermals and layering etc, but I cant spend more than 20 minutes outside max.

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srtlv@reddit

Yes, and I work with many people like you who have moved to Finland.

No one is spending more than 20 minutes outside max in these temperatures!

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sadanddepressedexpat@reddit (OP)

I see, since you have experience with such people, any recommendations on how they cope or go about the situation?

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srtlv@reddit

What everyone else has already told you: it’s normal that the beginning is rough. Moving abroad is usually more stressful than people anticipate.

Since you are anyway going to the shops, do try to cook or at least buy proper meals for yourself. Everything feels worse when you are not eating properly!

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sadanddepressedexpat@reddit (OP)

Thanks, thats true. Although Ive completely lost my appetite. Hopefully it gets better

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ScientistPlayful8967@reddit

Sounds like Norway.

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ArthurCDoyle@reddit

Or Finland

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ScientistPlayful8967@reddit

-25c in south Norway today.

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ScientistPlayful8967@reddit

Very northern Norway or Finland. Even Norwegians aren’t hot to live so far up north !!

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ArthurCDoyle@reddit

I am Canadian and -30 is COLD. Especially if you aren't used to colder temps. I don't know where you are but my guess is it wont last long and it will get warmer soon. Just keeping pushing.

The social and cultural shock is real and powerful. It can send you into a spiral of depression. Try to stay in touch with family via video chat as much as you can and explore what expat communities you can find around to stay social. It should get a bit better with some time.

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thatcrazyplantlady@reddit

Northern Europe is getting some record cold temperatures right now, so keep in mind that this isn't usual. (Also, what other people said: get a therapy light, take vitamin D, etc etc)

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SpaceCaseSixtyTen@reddit

Are you wearing synthetic thermals and layering properly (thermal first layer, fluffy soft heating layer in the middle, and then the outer weatherproof/windproof coat)? ... using synthetic/wool socks (not cotton fuck cotton me and my homies all hate cotton)

also baklava on face is great

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xheavenx1@reddit

Don't forget to take vitamin D and also get a Vitamin profile done. Vitamin D deficiency may also cause depression symptoms.

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Familiar-Algae9853@reddit

Where are you living? -30 degrees sounds awful but please know it won't be like that all the time, spring will arrive soon!

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panasch@reddit

It won't be like that all the time but it WILL be like that for a good while

Something to take into consideration, if the weather makes someone feel miserable 50% of the time

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panasch@reddit

My advice is: wait for the summer. Winter is horribly depressing and miserable in the north so it's normal to feel this way if you're coming from somewhere warmer. The weather does things to people.

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HareWarriorInTheDark@reddit

I’m also from a sunny area and moved to Europe in Autumn. The winter took me completely by surprise. You really need to research how to dress for winter and layer up, etc. Invest in quality gear, it’s worth it. Hang in there!

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Kraknoix007@reddit

It's peak winter right now, the cold will get better

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Sufficient_Phase_380@reddit

I get you, I can tell you it get's better.. I mean you will have to learn to enjoy solitude or make friends with othdr expats help a lot, sadly is really hard to make friends witb natives in the nordics but not imposible, I really didn't have a nice family back home but I do miss the high income easy chill and warn life back at home, something that helps me akways is just to compare your country to the new one you are in, so like apreciate stuff like publuc transport beign really nice, feeling safe wañking outside or having deliver stuff to your door without being stolen, clean parks and streets I know is small stuff, in summer get's way better, but again nothing keeps you here forever you can always go back home and job will be easy to get after this boist you are getting now.

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yawningcat@reddit

20 years ago I moved from a desert climate to north Europe at the end of the year and after a couple of months I also thought I’d made a huge mistake. I eventually had to come to terms that waiting for perfect weather for outdoor sports was never going to happen and bought winter/rain sports clothing and added more winter / indoor sports to my hobbies. Made a huge difference. Also, invite people over and cook. Or invite people to go out. Having plans with others is a huge incentive to do stuff.

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m1nkeh@reddit

Why is OP not replying?

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greatbear8@reddit

It is indeed very difficult in Northern Europe in particular. Try to join some activities and groups. Visit the local library: it is just not books, there are other activities planned too there. Try to join some Meetup or some other group around your interests. Do not hang out only with people of your nationality: try to make other expats and the locals as acquaintances and social circle. Join hiking/skiing groups, if into nature (you can learn skiing fairly easily). You can volunteer at some NGO if you have specific competence in an area. All this brings you social contact: the only way to survive in the Nordic region, if you are there. And if you could learn the local language a bit, that would be great.

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Bogdanovicis@reddit

Hey buddy! Stay strong there!

2 years ago i did the same thing, and it didnt go well in much more areas than in your story, but in the end, it worked out. So there is hope. Keep going!

- One tip would be to remember why you started this journey, and repeat yourself this when something goes sad.

- Make a plan. Usually, the lack of plan and direction gives us anxiety and worries. How does your life looks like in 3 years if you keep doing this? what about in 5? But in 10? Is it worth it? Then hell yea you have a strong plan now and you know when you'll see your close ones again.

- Take often weekends long weekends to see them. When I moved for work, I could afford to see them when i felt like, and it didnt feel that bad anymore. I personally dont need weeks and months to stay with my close ones. A weekend does wonders.

- One of the big advantages of being alone somewhere is that you can invest in yourself! Take this amazing chance of having no distractions around you to build healthy habits and discipline. This will help you develop not only professionally with your move, but also personally. Also, this keeps you mind busy that you don' have time to complain anymore. I ended up loving so much to have me time, that i didnt want to comeback anymore to my busy life.

- Learning the language will also allow you to develop your social life. Get out anyway. I was one of the most anxious people i ever knew, and i challenged myself to get out a lot of my comfort zone, and now i'm a completely different person than a few years back.

- ah, and about the weather? Its not forever like that. is temporary. It will get better. And you can learn some winter sports also if you are there anyway. Think like that: That place is doing so much better as a country, because only the strong one stays there.

If you have other questions, or feel like chatting with someone which did the same thing as you, feel free to ask, chat, DM.

Cheers,

Good luck!

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krissypants4000@reddit

Ahhh, I’m sorry it feels so tough! Nothing is forever. Maybe you can commit to staying for 18 months to get experience, and plan on heading back home after that? I have found that when I’m in a situation I’m not happy with, it helps to have an end date in sight. Also try to find some people from your home country or region! Maybe a restaurant, community center, some kind of cultural hub where you can talk about home with people who will understand. I lived in Stockholm for a while, I’m American, and my best friend there ended up being British. Just having the experience of being English-speaking people who left home to live there was enough to have in common in the beginning, it was so nice to know there was someone else going through something similar.

it will get easier!

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miladmzz@reddit

Well you have had that cushy life with your family. When I moved out first I had lots of growing up to do as well. The winters in Scandinavia can be unforgiving but from March things will become better. Save up money and pay for your parents to visit you in the summer

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discobee123@reddit

You sound like me two weeks into my big move to Europe ages ago. After 10ish weeks abroad, I went home for one month because of a lot of the feelings you describe and had to force myself to go back. I had a dream and was determined to see it through. I needed to reckon with some level of emotional discomfort first and that was tough, ngl.

Give yourself a chance. Buy yourself groceries. Get yourself in a routine. Find ways to fill your time while alone so you don’t feel lonely. Time to watch all those movies you’ve been meaning to catch up? Classic books you feel might enrich your life? Call family and friends and tell them all about the culture shock and what’s cool and what’s unusual to you.

It will take time to ease into a social life and feel good about the whole experience but it will happen. Turned out to be one of the best experiences of my life living in Europe and if I could do it all again…in a heartbeat.

Good luck to you no matter what you choose to do!

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TheNew-Watchdog@reddit

You gotta pull yourself out of this phase and start your new life. I always do these things when I move, and I move a lot. 1. I find a special spot to go to to be alone, usually in nature where I can come to anytime I feel lonely, sad, upset etc. it helps a lot to have a special spot just for you. 2. Find a gym, I go for the ones that offer group classes. Great way to make friends & you get to workout! 3. Find a few good stores you always go for errands, grocery store, pharmacy etc. and make it your grocery store. It helps me feel more anchored to a new place.

I always look on Facebook events and online for community events & go and make friends or if I don’t feel like talking at least it’s something to do.

The cold is definitely going to make you more miserable so just tough it out! It takes a while to adjust to a new place and perhaps your experiencing some culture shock.

Take more vitamins, find an activity you can dive into and make some friends.

Also you can look up Facebook groups for your nationally living in whichever city you’re in, for example: Brazilians in New York. Great way to meet people that you can relate to and feel more at home with.

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thoughtsyrup@reddit

OP, It's really important to get enough vitamin D during the winter. Try to get at least 10 minutes of sun per day without wearing sunglasses. Your eyes can absorb vitamin D even though the rest of your skin is covered in clothing. Also, take vitamin D supplements.

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spicy_pierogi@reddit

I also cried every day when I went to college 30 miles away from home, and it took a year to finally snap out of it. You’re in a different position than I was, but it’s just to say that you don’t know that this wouldn’t have happened if you moved somewhere more familiar.

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GhettoHippopotamus@reddit

Come on man you didnt chose the job bc the damn weather was going to be great up in damn scandanavia in the winter lmao. You chose it bc it was going to be a life changing career & personal growth opportunity.

Being 29, single and living at home with family is called wasting your life. You simply havent been uncomfortable or lonely bc you have had built in cushions to fall back on when anything became tough.

You need this struggle and experience to grow some fuckin balls (even if they may be frozen up inside you lmao) & force yourself back into the actual natural development stages of life. Focus on your future not the current suck.

Simple steps are all it takes - Find a gym, become a regular -Find a local bar, meet the bartenders & become a regular - Join a sports league - Find out where there are other english speaking peoples (Your Company has gotta have a shit ton of other immigrant workers who have gone through the same shit- So ask around) - And lastly find a grocery store & make it your go to spot so they start to recognize you. - And theb make yourself some damn good food, its a simple positive you can create daily that the arctic cold has no power over.

Best of luck my dude.

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Thrifty_Builder@reddit

Somewhat unrelated, but you should consider taking some vitamin D.

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CounterSemite666@reddit

What country?

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LuminousRabbit@reddit

Please consider getting a light therapy lamp for SAD (seasonal affective disorder) and using it in the mornings. They can be gotten reasonably inexpensively these days. I found mine so helpful that I got a pair of glasses that have the light positioned around the eyes. They are more expensive, look ridiculous, but work in less time and allow freedom of movement.

Please take care of yourself. It does get easier. This is likely the hardest part. You’re in the throes of culture shock right now. I’m glad you reached out here.

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PerspectiveOk3572@reddit

this! the cold and dark winter hit me a lot this year and I got the light, ever since I feel much better and way more energy

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PerspectiveOk3572@reddit

this! the cold and dark winter hit me a lot this year and I got the light, ever since I feel much better and way more energy

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TheWatch83@reddit

Take vitamin D too

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m1nkeh@reddit

Where did you move from and to?

-30 sounds insane.. Siberia?

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ScientistPlayful8967@reddit

Get rid of the negative thoughts. Start cooking and eating properly. Otherwise it’s all downhill from here. Get your head in a proper place before making any life changing decisions

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EmpathyHawk1@reddit

-30? Where did you move, Greenland?!

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NewSinner_2021@reddit

I’m in Northern Florida and it’s too cold for me up here.

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Ireland444OMM@reddit

Keep the TV or some music on, low volume. You'll feel less lonely.

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Spirit_Bitterballen@reddit

Hello, look at a post I just made, and I moved from Scotland (so it’s actually a climate improvement) to NL! I totally get the need to cry and rant, I feel you so much so first off 🫶 I’ve been here ten weeks and I feel I’m going mad and my kids hate their new school. However I love my new job and the people that are there, I’d be mad to even think for one second about throwing in the towel on that. Here’s what I’ve listed just this evening to just get to grips asap: 1. Group exercise class. I miss my Les Mills classes. I’d have joined a running club but when I enquired they (Dutch directly) told me I was too slow 🥺 2. Double the fuck down on Duolingo and booking that immersive language course. If you have the money - do it. I have the money, I’m doing it. Else it’s just go on vapes and shit off Amazon. 3. Watch more telly in the country language. I love soaps and brain floss like that. I’ve found one, and I’m half in already on what’s happening in the lives of the characters. 4. Get out as much as you can and do things. Not so easy with kids but if I was you just get on the expat/internationals pages for your city (I bet it’s Stockholm) and go, drink, have nibbles, chat shit about whatever programme on Netflix that’s been an international smash hit.

This will get easier but only you will know if it’s right for you. But you have to give it a year, I’d say any less and you risk cheating yourself.

Good luck my dear and sending you a big 🫂

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Skh10101010@reddit

Hi ! I moved from the US to the UK. I struggled quite a lot in the first year, second year was COVID so that was worse. I only really settled in my third year.

Part of why I moved was to travel more in the UK and in Europe. I really recommend it, get to know your local area of course but go to some nice areas a bit further away. It helps find some appreciation for the country.

Maybe even consider something like cooking classes for the local cuisine? I also recommend the gym, as it’s a great place to meet friends.

I completely get how you feel. I moved when I was 25. I thought I made a huge mistake as it rained the first 3 months I came, in summer. I was in San Diego beforehand and thought I made the worst mistake of my life. I kept thinking it for the next 2 years. Now looking back, I’m happy I stuck it out. This being said, there’s no problem in going back home.

I’m here if you need a chat, just send me a message.

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Mammoth_Shoe_3832@reddit

Teething troubles. Tough it out. It will get easier. Wait for Spring and Summer before making any decisions. Norther European Winters take a toll on everyone - including the locals. Go to a Sauna nearby. It might make you feel a little better.

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Nvrmnde@reddit

Dude. We ALL hate the cold! It will be fine, it will pass, there'll come another spring and it will be lovely.

ALL new jobs suck in the beginning. And you are homesick, and there's the culture shock. It will get better!

This is a good opportunity career-wise. You don't have to be there forever. Give it two years, and then you can decide what to do next.

Lastly, cold weather is a question of good gear. Now it is sales time in sports shops, or you can shop second hand. Buy real wool underneath, not polyester. Wool socks, and roomy boots where they fit. Leather mittens, not gloves, plus woollen mittens under or over them. Woollen hat, woollen scarf. A big puffy roomy winter coat with a hood. Warm trousers over your sweater pants.

Start to Cook and bake, invite work mates to eat.

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EddieLeeWilkins45@reddit

Dude. We ALL hate the cold!

Sometimes I'm surprised humans haven't migrated south already. And I wonder, in the US for instance, in the next 50-100 years will there be a massive migration with the north & midwest pretty desolate.

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Unlucky_Mess3884@reddit

I think the opposite will happen as the South and coasts become more severely impacted by climate change. Midwest weather will ease up a bit, lots of fresh water. We'll see!

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Time_Significance386@reddit

Unfortunately climate change doesn't mean warmer weather, it means more energy in the weather system. Storms and extremes of all kinds are going to be rougher, and the Midwest won't be spared that.

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EddieLeeWilkins45@reddit

"Whoa, check out the big brain on Brad!" just kidding, good point. Yeah, who knows. I'm sick of the cold weather tho, I know that much.

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sofiamonamour@reddit

OP, please don't worry. This is a freak coldsnap, it's a 1-in-every-50th-year event. Not many people handle cold like this well in Swwden either. This won't last long, it will be milder again soon. Then you'll slowly adjust. It will never feel as bad as it did the first time.

About the loneliness, it's harder. But try become friends with your colleagues - this is common in Sweden.

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Mysterious-Store-386@reddit

If you have moved recently, you have arrived to the north in the worst time of the year. I live in the north of Europe and I’m not from here, this time of the year is absolutely the hardest. Do not judge your new city only by this season.

Also, it takes time to adapt to a new country. Beginnings are hard. That together with the fact that it’s the darkest and coldest season is already a pretty bad combination.

But there’s one thing that to me is even more important, which is that from what you’re explaining you were in quite a comfortable position back where you were at. It is good to push yourself through a period of hardship, to be in an uncomfortable phase in life, to learn to adapt, to learn to be alone, to be in your own company, to meet new people.

You don’t need to stay there forever, you can always go back whether it’s tomorrow or in six months or ten years. I think a year is a good amount of time: seeing the four seasons of the year in Scandinavia has been truly amazing, give a chance to people, explore the new place you’re in outside your comfort zone, find people you can relate to, miss your family for a while, and learn to enjoy your own company.

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Significant_Owl7745@reddit

-30 weather lol. Didnt you get for weather?!

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The_whimsical1@reddit

The first three months are always hell. Never make any decisions in the first three months. Try to get out as much as you can: outside, out of your comfort zone, and out with new people. If you’re still miserable after three months do an assessment of your life and situation. If it’s a tie, give yourself three months more. If it’s not net benefit to you after nine months tell your company you’re leaving after 12 months. That’s the professional way to go.

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dwylth@reddit

Honestly, after the first 3 months, the next big hurdle I feel with moving anywhere is crossing that year barrier.

But once you do, and realise you've internalised a lot of what makes the place you live in tick, it's that much easier.

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EddieLeeWilkins45@reddit

haha, the cold sucks but it'll pass. Plus you'll enjoy the warm weather much more come March & April. Not sure where you're from or at, but are bars big? and do you drink/socialize? usually thats where people go to warm up, and maybe people will take a liking to where you're from, and your thoughts on their town and its weather. Snow days can be really fun days at bars.

That said, if you don't drink or aren't interested, sorry. Maybe try movies & watching TV at home, go out to dinner etc.

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Accomplished-Cap-381@reddit

Ayo that kinda of weather can make anyone cold sorry to hear op 🙏

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meditation_account@reddit

I would die in that cold weather. You really have to make sure you are dressed properly for that.

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formation@reddit

Spotify?

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one_little_spark@reddit

This is very normal for the first few weeks in a new place even in ideal conditions. Your feelings right now after making such a huge life change are not an accurate gauge for whether or not you made the right choice.
Moving in winter to anywhere in the northern hemisphere that isn't tropical makes an already difficult process 100x more difficult. You're already going to be prone to depression leaving family and home, being cold all the time and in the dark makes that worse.

My biggest advice is to just take it a day at a time and realize that your reaction is normal. You know what would be really weird? If you were like, "I just moved away from all my friends and family to a dark frozen tundra where I don't know the language and I feel like I'm skipping on rainbows I'm so happy!"...that would be weird.

This is one of those struggles you just have to go through to get to the other side, but you WILL get to the other side. And nothing's permanent! Once you're to the other side you may decide that it's not for you and you can go back home with a life experience under your belt.

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HVP2019@reddit

I am the person who hates cold and I would do my best to avoid living in cold and presumably dark areas.

I am also an immigrant and I would avoid becoming immigrant again because I know it can be challenging to be away from family and childhood home.

BUT

If something were to happen where I would have to move abroad to a very dark and cold areas I would do my best to try to look at the positives: snow is pretty, living close by is convenient, exploring new ways of living is exiting.

And most importantly: I have opportunity to grow professionally.

I can plan my next move by getting a different, better housing and turn that into a cozy and welcoming home.

Alternatively I can plan to move to a warmer climate because for me living in a cold climate is bid negative. But this time I will be moving at the higher level in my career.

Or I can plan my return home in a few years, hopefully as more qualified professional.

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