Parents, how old were your kids when they were allowed to swear in casual conversation with you?

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Famous-Slide-5678@reddit

When they were about 14 I felt less like I was protecting my kids from anything as they'd heard it all and a thousand times worse from school. So a little bit occasionally was fine, as long as it enhanced what they were saying, or was funny, and not gross. I don't mind them learning to swear "properly" and it keeps communication natural and open. I don't let them just it gratuitously though, or if I think they're doing it for lack of effort to find the right word.

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katie-kaboom@reddit

Well, I didn't let him swear when he was four. By the time he was 12 he started sneaking swearing in. It would have been very hard for me to object because I swear like a sailor who just stood on a lego myself, so I just demanded he use profanity correctly in context.

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badgedbodger@reddit

Same, my kids have started dropping the odd swear word in at 13/14. It’s fine. Everyone swears in my experience at least, so it’s hypocritical to tell the kids off for swearing. It’s only language, and swear words are very useful and flexible words!

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brokenwings_1726@reddit

Very fucking useful, aren't they?

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MadWifeUK@reddit

In my mid 40s, I won't swear in front of my mum. She'd plant me into the middle of next week if I did.

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Kazinessex@reddit

When I was about 15, in the car with my mum, I said ‘bloody’. Mum stopped the car and gave me a slap. I’ve never sworn in her presence since - I’m in my 60s now.

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Critical_thinker_336@reddit

I’m 35 and I still wouldn’t dare to

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FreshPossession@reddit

10 years old. I've taught them the difference between words that are used to emphasise emotion and words that are used for hate. So, "for fuck's sake" is more acceptable than "you fucking idiot". Some words have very strong guidance, and not all of them are swears -- "retard" is the best example. I've given my child a lot of information about why this word is hateful and why it's problematic. There are two reasons why the age (10) is so young. Firstly, I live in a town centre and he hears these words on the street all the time, so I wanted to get in early and guide use and explain when these words would be a problem. (Don't use them at school!!, other people will judge you if you use them!! English is a wonderful language and we have lots of ways to emphasise emotion or insult without swears, be creative) The other reason is linked to YouTube and the adpocalypse. There were a bunch of YouTubers making content that was perfectly family-friendly, fine for children. The the US FTC said that responsibility for ads placed against content was not with YouTube, it was with the content creator. YouTube said that family-safe creators would get limited ad revenue because of the limited types of ad that could be placed against that content. And so a bunch of creators just started swearing through their videos to tip them out of the family-friendly bucket. My child suddenly found most of their favourite YouTubers were effing and jeffing all through the videos. Finally, all of this is my personal take. I don't care what other people do with their children.

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alpha_red2003@reddit

mid 30's I still wont swear in front of my parents.

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Melchior_Chopstick@reddit

When my mum died, when I was 22, I just let loose when talking with my dad. All bets were off.

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justanoldwoman@reddit

From as soon as they wanted to (primary school age)- I really don't care about swearing.

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eidolon_eidolon@reddit

I think that's quite sad. It's horrible to hear young children swear.

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justanoldwoman@reddit

I can guarantee that you wouldn't have heard them, you don't sound like the kind of person that I'd ever invite to my house.

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eidolon_eidolon@reddit

Lol ok.

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onaboatman@reddit

My parents would never let me swear in front of them, even as an adult

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justanoldwoman@reddit

How very strange. I can't imagine allowing my parents to dictate anything to me once I turned 18.

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onaboatman@reddit

I mean I can, but they just don't like it at all, so it's not worth it When they're really odd I'll say stop being such a fucking angry wierdo, it's no surprise people don't take kindly to you, stuff like that

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plankton_lover@reddit

Same same. I just told them that they could swear at home but not anywhere else, as they'd get told off at school etc. None of mine really do at home anyway.

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justanoldwoman@reddit

I just called them "inside words", because I never made a big deal about it they didn't really bother.

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2MB26@reddit

5ish, with strict boundaries. They all swore around me so let me too. If I broke the 'swearing rules' I'd be punished but otherwise I was allowed. 1 - NEVER allowed to swear at someone. FFS = ok. FU = punishment. 2 - Not in inappropriate situations or places. 3 - Don't make people uncomfortable. If someone tells you a word makes them uncomfortable, don't argue. Their offence is not up for debate, it's a fact. Apologise, move on, don't say that word in front of them again. It also meant they weren't really special to me so I didn't start swearing properly until my peers were at school (around 11).

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cari-strat@reddit

Similar to us with our kids. It's just words, neither of us gets upset as long as they aren't actually swearing directly at each other or us in an aggressive sense. For example if I play a trick on my 15yo, say I Rickroll her, and she laughs and goes, "Aww for fucks sake!!" in an I-cant-believe-I-fell-for-that way, I wouldn't mind. If I asked her to help with something and she went, "No, fuck off!" I very definitely would mind. It's about the context. Otherwise the rules are simple - no swearing where it might cause offence to someone (eg in public where it can be overheard, at school, anywhere formal etc).

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RiskyShift@reddit

36 and I still don't swear in front of them. Neither of my parents swear, apart from my dad occasionally saying "crap". My mum has *never* sworn in her entire life. Her friends once tried to cajole her into saying "fuck" at least once in her life, but she refused.

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____JustBrowsing@reddit

I’m in my 30s and still don’t swear in front of my mum. I just can’t do it.

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Fun_Permission_888@reddit

I said "shit" in front of my mum over christmas. Then apologised by going "shit...sorry" "I mean, sorry"

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bishcraft1979@reddit

Did exactly this when I burned my hand while talking to my mum (I’m mid 40s)

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KingDaveRa@reddit

Likewise. I'm in my 40s and can't do it. I have occasionally, but it's rare. Very rare. My sister swears like a docker, however.

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WelshmanW1@reddit

Same. I'm 55.

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SeanyWestside_@reddit

Same here. My brother has a potty mouth though.

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Jerico_Hill@reddit

16 I think. I swear like a sailor now, but only started in front of the olds from then. My mum's rule was adults can swear, kids can't. They learn eventually when it's appropriate then it's ok.

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amaluna@reddit

When I came back from Uni so like 19/20

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Difficult_Listen_917@reddit

my mother has never heard me swear.

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DannyBrownsDoritos@reddit

My parents swear at each other (jokingly) all the time and did so when I was a kid. Must've been around 16 or so when I started to join in and started swearing around them properly?

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Martinonfire@reddit

It’s not happening, ever! Unless he hits his thumb with a hammer or similar.

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Aidenk77@reddit

My daughter is 13 and already swears like a sailor, probably because I was in the Royal Navy. It doesn’t bother me in the slightest and is pretty amusing most of the time.

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nospareusername@reddit

My kids are much better than I deserve and were always well spoken and well mannered when young. As they got into secondary school and met a wider range of friends, their vocabulary expanded. I've always been of the opinion that curses are just words. They hold no magic and cause no disasters when uttered. If the word was appropriate, I've never had to pull them up on it. They are both wonderful adults now. Thoroughly decent, caring young men, and if they feel like swearing, it's fine with me.

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stiletto929@reddit

Our daughter said, “Damnit!” when she was maybe 4. I told her that was a bad word and she shouldn’t use it. She replied, “But Daddy said it yesterday.” So our kids learnt to swear pretty young. I try to discourage it.

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carollois@reddit

My kids are all in their twenties and regularly swear in front of us. I sometimes reprimand the youngest because she can overdo it, but generally we all swear in front of each other. That being said, I rarely swear in front of my parents but they are from a different generation. Swearing wasn’t something my mother ever did.

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colefinbar1@reddit

Mine are still young, but it'll probably happen naturally as trust is built. Focus on understanding each other with respect, rather than exact words.

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keapps0123@reddit

My daughter is 13 and swears a lot. I don't really care, they're only words. I just remind her to be careful when, where and who she swears around. If she did it in front of her father, she would be grounded for life! Her grandparents would likely keel over in shock. Both her parents have potty mouths, so it's a wonder it took so long.

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Single_Forever9648@reddit

It’s just words we all use. As long as it’s in appropriate company I wouldn’t worry about it.

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Wittgenstienwasright@reddit

Fifteen year old Daughter stood on a lego barefoot, left by a younger sibling. FUCK FUCK FUCKERY FUCK, SON OF A BITCH. I have done that and thought yep, that will do it.

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Scared_Fortune_1178@reddit

Yeah, doesn’t matter how old you are or where you are, if you step on a lego any bad language is fair game.

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BasketAdmirable3557@reddit

That's good. Shows they feel relaxed enough around you. It takes a lot of nerve to swear confidently in front of parents, but also needs some trust, so always a good sign imo. my eldest started slipping in the odd eff with me present at ~18yrs. He's now 24 and whilst he has a good vocab, he also effs and jeffs freely at times, but it seems natural.

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Btd030914@reddit

I was late 20s, early 30s when I’d let a swear word slip in front on my mum. Weird thing is my parents are absolutely foul mouthed and never censored themselves around me as a kid, and neither did any of their friends or family. Fuck this, cunt that, I heard it all. But me swearing as a youngster was a line not to be crossed apparently.

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SwordTaster@reddit

I'm 30, and my dad still won't allow it. Mum, on the other hand, lets it slide because she has given up trying to curb my potty mouth

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TzOctopus@reddit

I’m 30 and my mother still tells me off for swearing

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libstar90@reddit

In my 30s and I'm not even allowed to say crap in front of my mum. 😒. Little more relaxed with my dad. Potty mouth the rest of the time. 🤦

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thewildlifer@reddit

Im 40. Recently got into a heavy discussion/heated almost an argument with my dad where i was, objectively, in the right. I swore in a sentence...not at him, as an adjective. He LOST HIS MIND called me trash and told me "not to come around" if thats who I was. My mom later brought i up and the first thing she mentioned that dad said i was swearing. Its so fucking laughable. I simply said, its a good thing im 40 years old and have been paying for my own life for 20 years and ended the convo. Fuck them.

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coffee_and_tv_easily@reddit

I don’t remember when it started, I think it was gradual and started with something mild lol I told them they could swear around me but not at me which is similar to what my Dad always told me

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Monkeylovesfood@reddit

My eldest is 13 and we've just allowed to swear at home without admonishment as long as it's not directed at someone. She's a sensible, kind girl that is doing well in her studies so the odd shit when she steps on Lego doesn't bother us. I don't think you can choose a arbitrary age. It's more to do with if they're sensible enough to understand that language needs to be moderated for different situations. As long as they are able to that then I don't see any harm in the odd swearword.

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Awkward_Chain_7839@reddit

My dad died when I was in my 30’s, I’d never sworn in front of him. He wouldn’t have cared, but I just didn’t.

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Traditional_Entry183@reddit

I'm 46, and wouldn't really swear in front of my parents. They did in front of me regularly as a kid though. My wife and I rarely swear in front of our 12 and 9 year Olds, and they definitely know that they shouldn't be.

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rebootsaresuchapain@reddit

Never.

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ChelseaMourning@reddit

I’m 37 and still don’t swear in front of my dad. My daughter however is 9 and drops the odd light swear word every now and again (crap, arse, bloody). I’m just glad she uses them in context.

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YchYFi@reddit

I think once I turned 18 we do swear now but never as kids.

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Figgzyvan@reddit

My daughter told us she was offered a lift by a young guy in a car. Us: what did you say? D: fuck off, mate i’m 14. Us: ‘mate’. Polite.

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SweetPorkies@reddit

I slip it into conversation by accident when I'm ranting or annoyed (I'm 31 now). They just accept it. It was 21 onwards when my parents started to have casual conversations with me.

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Formal-Choice8832@reddit

I swore in front of my mum from like..early secondary onwards? We were always pretty casual about it, both big fans of the words cunt and fuck, so 🤷‍♀️

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Equivalent_Parking_8@reddit

My daughter is 13 just, she swears all the time.

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wires99@reddit

At 42, I'd still feel awkward if I swore in front of my mum. My wife swears like a trooper in front of her mum!

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CheeryBottom@reddit

I’m 53 and still don’t swear in front of my parents.

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Reer123@reddit

I was 13 and the dog shit right inside the front door. I went up and said to my mum “The dog is after poo-shitting at the front door”. She was just confused why I was swearing but from then she didn’t really mind casual swearing but any harsh words I’d just be asked why I’m swearing.

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Fabulous-Weight-1031@reddit

When I'm dead.

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goodbyeruby2sday@reddit

I was probably about 14/15. My mum gives no fucks and likes to throw the word cunt into conversation fairly often so eh.

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DJDJDJ80@reddit

I'm 43 and I never swear in front of my mum

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chobobot@reddit

I only swore in front of my parents when Arsenal were playing.

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Confident_Food_7194@reddit

Late 20s. My mum set a rule soon when I was a teenager that I could swear in front of her but I couldn't swear AT her. It's worked up until now

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annedroiid@reddit

I would still get scolded by my mum if I swore in front of her

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Vast-Ready@reddit

I was about 16

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SaintJudy@reddit

I’m 50, never have and still would never swear in front of my dad

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nikokazini@reddit

My mum gradually started swearing in front of us as we grew out of our teens. Turns out she swears more than all of us put together! She controlled it in front of us until we were “of age”.

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Kid_Kimura@reddit

I don't remember ever having been given permission, but at 18 they're legally an adult so to me would feel weird to have rules about what words are too naughty to say.

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fionakitty21@reddit

I only felt ok/comfortable with swear words in front of my ma when I was in my early 30s! After 18, she would tut or roll eyes if I said shit/crap/bloody hell but obv didn't tell me off! My 14yr says bloody hell occasionally which I let slide, and keeping in true ma form, will tut and roll my eyes!

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ClevelandWomble@reddit

We're at 40+ and they have not started yet.

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YoukanDewitt@reddit

It gets younger the more older siblings they have to be honest.

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IntrovertedArcher@reddit

I’m 38. I don’t think I’ve ever been told I’m “allowed” to swear in front of my parents specifically. I do do it, I just don’t remember when it became acceptable. Even now I’ll tend not to say cunt in front of them, but I’ll throw quite a few fucks in when needed. I don’t generally swear in front of my grandmas, or my girlfriend’s parents (as she’s told me they don’t like it).

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NumeroRyan@reddit

I still can’t swear in front of my mum or stepdad as he goes ballistic. I’m 30 and I do it just to fuck them off even though it has got me kicked out their house. Truthfully I didn’t swear freely until I moved out at 21, my mum was extremely tough and brutal so was never worth the hassle. Let your kids swear if they are 18+, within reason let them be them. If you do what my mum did you’ll be disliked with a burning passion 🙃

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