What’s the most inappropriate Christmas present you have ever received?

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eyeball-beesting@reddit

Someone once bought me a lizard for Christmas. Just to clarify, I had no interest in ever owning a lizard or any pet for that matter. He also just gave me the lizard in a cardboard box. I had no idea what they ate, how they lived and I was completely unprepared for it. These were the days before internet so I couldn't just look up this information. I kept it until boxing day and then I handed it over to the RSPCA who were furious with me for having a lizard in a box. My friend thought it was hilarious. Do not give pets as gifts.

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mikepartdeux@reddit

Step 1 - put a lizard in a box

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swungover264@reddit

When I was a teenager, my boyfriend got me 2 CD albums that he'd been wanting for himself. And before he gave them to me, he opened them, ripped them to his own PC and then wrapped them back up.

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No-Cut-5618@reddit

To be honest that’s quite genius 😂

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swungover264@reddit

They weren't even artists I liked.

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RavenBoyyy@reddit

Not myself but my 15 year old brother has been gifted alcohol for birthdays/Christmas by adults. The people who gifted it to him knew he already drank anyway and would rather he did it safely and adults knew than him being reckless. It's worked well, he tells trusted adults when he's drinking and is responsible with not drinking too much, being in a safe place with safe people and not getting actually drunk. My parents actually had the same attitude with me when I was in my mid teens and I always appreciated it. I learned to drink responsibly and safely because of it, I wasn't sneaking around drinking behind their backs and getting myself in danger. I could call them to pick me up if I had too much to drink or felt unsafe without any judgement and I could actually talk to them about my experiences without getting bollocked and not have it be a complete taboo subject. I'm now 19 and rarely drink. If I do, I almost never get drunk and I have a good relationship with alcohol in general, not using it excessively as a crutch or sneaking it around.

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OneBook2783@reddit

My grandma was infamous for buying a load of crap in the January sales and then come Christmas, deciding who would get what. Probably without much care, because once she gifted my then 16yo brother something that I assume she thought was some kind of male grooming kit, but was actually a mini sex kit containing lube and flavoured condoms

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Mamacymraeg@reddit

Well he was 16 lol

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CRITICAL9@reddit

Age appropriate 😬

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mitchanium@reddit

It _WAS_ a grooming kit

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LadyIvy_xo@reddit

A pair of thongs from my mother in law.

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mh1191@reddit

When you say "a pair of thongs", is that one thong (like a pair of pants) or two thongs?

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LadyIvy_xo@reddit

Two thongs. Same brand/design, one was black and one was pink.

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anabsentfriend@reddit

His 'n' Hers

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bumblebeesanddaisies@reddit

If you're an Aussie that's an ok gift, if you're a Brit... Not so great lol

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LadyIvy_xo@reddit

Brit here. Luckily, we didn't spend Christmas together so I didn't have to hide the "what on earth" look from her lol.

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PeaceOrchid@reddit

My OH got a pair of ‘designer dog tags’. He’d not long retired from his army career.

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TobyChan@reddit

My (rather odd) mates got me a very nice kitchen knife one year and my misses a fox tail butt plug… we opened them in front of her parents…

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LilithsGrave92@reddit

I loved reading when I was younger, I loved fantasy books and fiction. When I was a young teen, around 13/14 maybe, my gran got me a couple fiction books about vampires. Except they were adult themed. Incredibly adult themed. Think along the lines of the True Blood books. I can remember gettting them, but I honestly can't remember if my parents had picked up on the themes before/during me reading them. My dad was super strict as well, he'd have flipped if he'd known about it. I think my mum/sister maybe figured it out. Or I just kept it quiet for fear of my dad going ballistic.

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SamVimesBootTheory@reddit

I never had anything that extreme but i had fairly strict parents growing up when it came to my media consumption (Like wouldn't let me watch/read harry potter, jurassic park was too scary) but they'd buy me Jacqueline Wilson books without blinking and as I was a fairly advanced reader I was onto her more 'mature' books before I was in my teens and like reading stuff like the Girls series and like there's nothing that terrible in those but I think if my parents knew about things like the 'And this book the character has an eating disorder, her friend nearly gets assaulted, oh in another book one of the characters nearly falls victim to a creep on the internet' they probably wouldn't have let me read those at like age 12

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lesloid@reddit

When I was 18 my boyfriends parents gave me a sexy basque style lingerie, and said something along the lines of ‘this is for you too son’ when I opened it (in horror)

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Millietree@reddit

Oh God! I'm had something similar where my boyfriend bought me some 'sexy' underwear, which was opened in front of my parents. Never been so embarrassed in my life!

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Specialist-Web7854@reddit

When I was a teenager my mum bought me curling tongs because as she put it ‘you always wear your hair curly’. My hair is naturally curly, how could she not know that?

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West_Yorkshire@reddit

Now you can have Giga Curls :D

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Acyts@reddit

This really cracked me up! My ex's mum got him a beard grooming kit for Christmas, his brother had a big beard but he had never had one! We were all so baffled by that one.

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Dry_Action1734@reddit

Wow, that’s terrible lol.

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megabot13@reddit

My mother-in-law got myself and my husband a microwave to share. All is heard off his sister was about all the amazing stuff her mum was getting her, perfume, new boots, clothes, and the stuff her husband had asked for. Unwrapped our box and it was a microwave, I actually thought it was a joke, but no, it was a microwave

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SamVimesBootTheory@reddit

Nothing major but I do remember getting like cosmetic adjacent gifts in my young teens when I wasn't into like hair and makeup. My dad's been given a few bottles of wine from people, no one in my house really drinks and wine is not our preferred thing if drinking happens so I feel those will get shuffled off to other people before too long.

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GingerbreadMary@reddit

A (broken) heated comb. My golden child sister got a beautiful bracelet- flowers made of different coloured gems. As my mother pointed out ‘she’s the pretty one’. Another time, an Oxford dictionary ?why. I was a straight A student in English. Oh and a doll one year…I was 20. Hmm.

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Vyvyansmum@reddit

A rape alarm & a satin nightie from my mother in law.

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Bella8811@reddit

My mother in law got me a rape alarm as a gift after I had my first child. Wtf goes through their heads?

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The_Sown_Rose@reddit

For the last few years, my friends seem to have collectively decided that I really want fake alcohol - 0% gin, nosecco, that sort of thing. I don’t drink. I’ve never drunk alcohol, it’s not like I’m giving it up and missing the taste. I’ve never once ordered anything like that for myself. So I don’t really know where this thought came from. Luckily, I’ve just put all the gifts under the tree ready for tomorrow, and none of them seem bottle shaped.

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losimagic@reddit

Not me, but my dad gave my mum a SAD lamp as her main present one year. *You look depressed, merry Christmas!* It did not go down well. It was a terrible day.

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neukStari@reddit

top bants

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blindingmate@reddit

My ex mother in law gave me the same book two Christmases running (The Three Body Problem by Liu Cixin, I've never been a big reader and certainly not science fiction, I've still got both copies but not read either several years later)

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The_Sown_Rose@reddit

It’s an excellent book, but not for everyone.

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poshbakerloo@reddit

My manager bought me anal beads for secret Santa

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Dry_Action1734@reddit

Even more inappropriate as it was your manager.

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poshbakerloo@reddit

This was back in my hotel days, anything goes in hospitality haha

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Mamacymraeg@reddit

I’d report him to hr that’s creepy af

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poshbakerloo@reddit

Lol it was a she and I thought it was funny tbf but maybe that me being equally as weird haha

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Rascal_1970@reddit

In a previous office, one member of staff had recently split up with one of the girls in the office. He got her in the secret santa and got her a vibrator....

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MrP1232007@reddit

Not so secret then?

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Tired_Pancake_@reddit

That’s just plain weird

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ImperialSyndrome@reddit

We once did Secret Santa at a very banter heavy and unprofessional workplace. My gift was swapped out by management for being too inappropriate...and no one would tell me what it was. Literally, threatened with gross misconduct if I were told. I still have no idea.

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herwiththepurplehair@reddit

One year when I was about 12/13 Marks & Spencer brought out a soap and talc set that had my name, and I got 3 of them….

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lilybottle@reddit

If it's the one I'm thinking of (first came out in 1990s, I think?), then 1)That's a lovely name, and 2)At least it smelled nice!

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herwiththepurplehair@reddit

Oh lord no, I turned 12 at the start of the 80s! Was very……pink

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Sleepywanderer_zzz@reddit

As a teen my boyfriend bought me the ‘book of bunny suicides’ the first Christmas after I’d lost my dad to suicide…

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Specialist-Web7854@reddit

That’s awful. I’m so sorry 😞

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mrchab97@reddit

This year my gf's parents have bought me a pair of novelty christmas boxers with jingle balls written on them. Not put out by it its funny considering both are quite prudish

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Caledonia_68@reddit

My ex-boyfriend's gran got me a pair of navy satin frilly knickers for one Christmas. Weird enough gift anyway, but they were second hand!

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Mediocre_Sprinkles@reddit

A lot of people have a habit of buying me lots of earrings. I've never had my ears pierced, I will never have my ears pierced, plus I hate jewellery. I can count the number of times I've worn jewelry in my 30 years on one hand.

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a3minutehero@reddit

My mum bought teenage me a weed themed calender as a not so subtle way of letting me know she knew what I was up to.

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peterGalaxyS22@reddit

i received a 1986 calendar at the 1986 christmas. i still remember that

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Gloomy_Stage@reddit

The good news is that the 1986 calendar can be reused in 2025.

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mh1191@reddit

Wasn't 1986 a leap year?

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atomicmrpelly@reddit

Not divisible by 4 so can't be.

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WarmTransportation35@reddit

My cousin gave me a deeptroat spray becuase she didn't read the description when buying it from amazon. I gave it back to her so she can use it on her boyfriend and now we joke about whether the spray came useful to her. As a joke she says she loves using it.

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GlitchingGecko@reddit

Not so much the contents of the gift, but the tag... A few years ago, my mum died at the end of October (my dad had passed a few years previously). My Christmas presents from the in-laws that year said 'from Mum 2 and Dad 2'. First year she'd written them like that (after 15 years) and I very quickly shut that down. I know she meant it in a supportive way, but I found it very inappropriate.

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wriggleyspace@reddit

Maybe they were trying to be nice

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GlitchingGecko@reddit

They were going for, "don't worry, you still have us" way, I know that. Still felt inappropriate, especially after two months. If they'd been doing that for the previous 10 years, it would have been fine.

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Dry_Action1734@reddit

Very much the “don’t worry, you’ve got spares” vibe. Terrible.

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DelKaty@reddit

At the time of receiving this, I was in my second year of university studying art. My dad had gotten me a draw manga book for 8 year olds.

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LondonCycling@reddit

Greggs sausage rolls and Special Brew

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rice_fish_and_eggs@reddit

Were you homeless at the time?

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LondonCycling@reddit

Nope. I was just finishing my GCSE resits, studying from home.

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rice_fish_and_eggs@reddit

Fair enough, definitely inappropriate then.

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TheIncontrovert@reddit

Breakfast of Champions!

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Lumpyproletarian@reddit

Someone bought my dad aftershave - he had a full beard

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gogoluke@reddit

Aftershave is just man perfume to dap on your man self. Women don't shave their armpits of flange and then pop on some perfume. No man applies it after shaving their face or ball bag as it hurts like fuck (I imagine) They shaved for a job interview not pulling in Yates Wine Lodge. They spray seven times when going to Yates not an interview.

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borisdidnothingwrong@reddit

I was given a bunch of Marijuana paraphernalia last year. I don't smoke. I live in a state with only medical marijuana, and hard to get even then.

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StrictRecognition568@reddit

What State in the UK was that?

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eyeball2005@reddit

Can I have it mate

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MaleficentSwan0223@reddit

At 6 years old I receive a pot of Nivea Anti Wrinkle Cream from my god mother.

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anabsentfriend@reddit

Have you grown into a wrinkle-free adult though?

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Overgrown_fetus1305@reddit

Pretty mild, but once trolled a friend after she finished teacher training with a fidget spinner as a present. (She got the actual present afterwards, which was a bottle of wine that I was gifted but did not open, as I'm teetotal.)

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BromleyReject@reddit

My brother's friend's Dad put a copy of Torrid in each of their Xmas stockings once. They were in their late teens / early twenties at the time but even I thought it was a bit much. He thought it was funny.

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SomeWomanFromEngland@reddit

Is that a film?

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MelbaTotes@reddit

A pair of child size folding chairs. I don't have children.

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SomeWomanFromEngland@reddit

Well, that’s… extraordinarily random. I’d love to know the thought process behind that one.

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BossStannis@reddit

Butt plug from mother in law. Year before was a cock ring. Had to get wife to ask her mum to stop. Merry Christmas.

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Formal-Choice8832@reddit

Not me, but someone I knew. Just lost her only child to illness, received a “world best christmassy mummy” mug from another colleague. Suffice to say the mood was ruined.

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Dry_Action1734@reddit

Please tell me the gift giver didn’t know…

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Formal-Choice8832@reddit

…we had all been made aware of it. She wasn’t even disliked in the workplace or anything - to this day I have no idea wtf happened?

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brit_parent@reddit

I’m a size twelve. I once received from my in-laws an age 14 crop top and a size 22 vest for the same birthday. I have a bad habit of seeing stuff during the year thinking “ooh, so-and-so would love that” putting it away and then forgetting where I left it.

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piggybibble@reddit

My mother in law LOVES to fat shame me with clothes gifts. Once bought me a shirt probably three sizes bigger than I am and she said ‘I was worried it wouldn’t go anywhere near you!’

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eyeball2005@reddit

I’d smack her for that

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Jenkes_of_Wolverton@reddit

As a guy with a beard I've lost count of the number of times people have given me bottles of aftershave lotion.

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itsaslothlife@reddit

A jokey book on sex positions. I am a prudish old granny and the entire team thought it was hilarious.

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CreationConductor@reddit

My mum likes to bring up the time my dad got her potpourri as a present.

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Harrry-Otter@reddit

A DVD of TopGear. Don’t own a DVD player, not particularly arsed about TopGear.

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pajamakitten@reddit

Sounds like someone forgot to get you anything and just grabbed something from the back of their wardrobe.

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LondonCollector@reddit

At least you didn’t get something you’ve already got I suppose.

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Bionic_Redhead@reddit

I got an inflatable sex doll and a masturbator at a work secret santa a few years ago. As a small company I had to (unknowingly) open the present in front of my boss and his teenage daughter.

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cantevenmakeafist@reddit

It's not Christmas but broadly related. When the National Lottery was new, my gran got my dad a t-shirt of the crossed fingers good luck charm. It was actually a hand flicking a v-sign.

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