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How frequently have you been to open casket funerals?

Posted by Expression-Little@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 31 comments

These seem very American but they seem to be becoming more common over here.

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31 Comments

Ok_Wash_3818@reddit

I have been to 3 funerals in my lifetime (none of them were family members but I knew them, and none of them were particularly old, or even close to it tbh). I could have attended more funerals but they were either abroad, something came up, or I only had limited memories of the person. When I was like 8, my former YMCA teacher, Eddie Workman, died. He was just 47, and cancer was what took him out. I only remember being at the funeral and my mom explaining to me what a funeral is, but I don’t know if it was a casket funeral. I was young after all. I remember him as a nice man who was apparently a friend of my parents. This academic college year alone, I attended 2 funerals, one of which was actually a 2-part funeral. The 2-part funeral was for my college fraternity’s (I am from FL) district governor, Vincent Verdile. My brothers and I remember him as a very generous man and someone who showed a great example of being a leader. He was also very young, only 58, and the cause of death is unknown, but my roommate and I believe he died because of cardiac arrest. He was quite a big man, so I kinda believe it was more like something cardiovascular (my paternal grandfather died from cardiovascular illness earlier the same calendar year, and it sucked I couldn’t go to his funeral due to it being in the DR and me being in USA). I saw the open casket on the viewing (first part), and also the mass burial. Then there was a funeral for my 2nd grade teacher’s mom, Caroline, who was also relatively young, 71, and guess what? It was the big C that got her. She battled it for 5 years. It was an urn funeral this time, and because my mom is great friends with my 2nd and 5th grade teachers, she knew Mrs, Jones’s mom so well, and I remember meeting her a few times myself! A very nice woman who I wish I knew better, and who seemed like the quintessential grandmother to my 2nd grade teacher and her husband’s young daughter and two middle school+ sons. I remember this funeral the best because this was actually one where they spoke a lot about the person. They spoke a little less about Vince but they did speak fondly of him, but I feel Mrs. Caroline’s funeral was easily more interesting. I went to Vince’s funeral because I wanted to be there for my best friends who were grieving as much, if not more than I did.
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Lumpyproletarian@reddit

66, never seen an open casket. Thank every power there is
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Gasblaster2000@reddit

Never. I think it might just be a Catholic thing
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OK_LK@reddit

I've never been to a funeral with an open casket, but I have been to lots of wakes, where the casket is open and someone will always be attending the recently departed. I'm from an Irish Catholic family and this is very typical. The first one I attended was in the early 90s. I've also visited the funeral home to visit and pay last respects to an open coffin more than once.
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Loose_Acanthaceae201@reddit

The one and only open casket I've seen was at the home of a Northern Irish Catholic family. The coffin was closed before the journey to the church.
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A_Wee_Talisker@reddit

I'm aN Irish prod and as i pointed out in my post, it's the norm.
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OK_LK@reddit

I'm in Scotland and it doesn't seem common here. But I don't know for sure, as I've only been to thr funerals of Irish friends and family.
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ChocolateSnowflake@reddit

I’m Scottish. Raised Catholic. 3 days of rosaries with an open casket at home is the norm. The funeral itself is closed casket.
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Onesielover88@reddit

My Welsh Nanna passed away at home, surrounded by our lot. We all said our goodbyes individually before they took her to the funeral home. Then they brought her back to the house, and laid her out in an open top coffin. Where her chair and knitting stuff lived, they removed it all and put her in her coffin there. I went to go in the room and I could see through the crack in the door my dear Nanna, full on dead, in a coffin.... I had a panic attack and turned back out the door. My Auntie came and got me "Come on Onesie, it's only Mam.. Don't be silly..." lead me into the room and I just stood gawping at her, thinking "What the fuck, I know it's Nanna, but it looks nothing like her... This is weird... I don't like this!" and my Aunty then encouraged me "Go on, give her a little kiss, she won't fucking bite you, you know!". So I leant in and gave her a little kiss on the cheek... She was ice cold... Then my auntie grabbed my sides from behind and shouted "BOOO". My heart dropped outta my fucking arse!!! I can laugh about it all now... But I was quietly livid for a while after.
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paulmclaughlin@reddit

I bet there's a German word for such a horrific and also hilarious (when told to a third party) experience
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shy_numpty@reddit

how come OP?
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gogybo@reddit

Twice. The first time was for a distant cousin who now I can only remember as a waxy, ashen corpse in a coffin. The second was for my Nan. I didn't look. Both were on my Dad's side of the family who originate from Jamaica. Is an open casket more of a tradition over there?
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Realkevinnash59@reddit

My Scottish Catholic family always have open caskets. Not so much in England.
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aytayjay@reddit

Never. I've been to lots of funerals, and lots of catholic funerals, and it's never been a thing. If someone wants to go to a viewing of the body they can do so at the funeral home before the funeral, but that's private (and something I've chosen to never do). The idea of everyone having a buffet around a corpse in the corner like I see in films is very odd to me.
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Ok_Cow_3431@reddit

I've never been to an open casket funeral - as you say it feels very American
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tmstms@reddit

As others are saying, it is definitely NOT traditional. But it is entirely usual to go and view the deceased in the chapel of rest or funeral director's. In some cases (body not released because post-mortem required), even in the hospital morgue.
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Bogroleum@reddit

Never and it sounds horrible tbh.
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BeanOnAJourney@reddit

Never, and I wouldn't want to. I was considering going to "see" my dad at the funeral parlour but the director strongly warned me it wouldn't be a pleasant experience, so I didn't, and I'm glad of that.
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DameKumquat@reddit

Never. Been to half a dozen funerals, half CofR, half humanist, always closed coffin. My Catholic American family may have them, but the only recent one involved a shot to the head, so I doubt that was.
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ManofKent1@reddit

Never. I went to see my mum in the funeral home. I won't to that again. I was with my dad when he died and that was easier which is strange
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Arseypoowank@reddit

I have been to one and to be honest for me, it was much more cathartic and final and really felt like a closed book. Everyone is different though
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SimplyCedric@reddit

I've never been to an open cask funeral or wake and, at my age, I have no intention of starting.
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YchYFi@reddit

I've never been to one.
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ExamInternational187@reddit

I'm mid 30s and have never been to a wake or an open casket funeral
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Perfect_Confection25@reddit

If not the funeral it's, at the wake. Particularly Catholic and county Protestant traditions (Ni)
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ToriaLyons@reddit

My Grandma's funeral wasn't open casket, but if I wanted to view her\*, I could have seen her in her bedroom before the funeral. North East England, late '90s. \*I didn't, I really didn't
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boldstrategy@reddit

Been to around 10 funerals, never an Open Casket
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A_Wee_Talisker@reddit

Not sure about the funeral per se, but just about everyone I've known who has died (and wasn't a mess, there have been a couple) has "reposed" in an open casket at their home or a funeral parlour.
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prustage@reddit

I am at the age were I find I am going to a lot of funerals, but I have never been to an open casket type. This, as you say, seems to be an American thing.
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mynameisfreddit@reddit

Only once, and not at a typical British funeral. Have a very close British-Nigerian friend, and when her aunt died, who I also knew very well, they had an open casket.
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