Is being called fat more or less offensive than being called chubby?

I'm sorry you've personally had a bad experience but the research suggests women experience weight stigma differently and in many ways more severely. From Rebecca M. Puhl, PhD, is a Senior Research Scientist and Director of Research at the Rudd Center for Food Policy & Obesity at Yale University, and Kelly King, MPH, is a Research Associate at the Rudd Center for Food Policy & Obesity at Yale University. *Most notably, women seem to experience higher levels of weight stigmatization than men, even at lower levels of excess weight. Research suggests that women, especially those who are middle aged or with lower levels of education, experience weight discrimination at significantly higher rates than male peers. Moreover, women report weight discrimination at lower levels of excess weight than men. For example, men tend to report considerable stigmatization at a Body Mass Index (BMI) of 35 or higher, whereas women report experiencing notable increases in weight discrimination at a lower BMI of only 27.* *Men and women who are affected by excess weight are both less likely to be hired and are evaluated more negatively than non-overweight individuals. Some studies suggest, however, that women are up to 16 times more likely to perceive weight discrimination in employment settings than men. Female job applicants who are affected by excess weight are less likely than male applicants to be recommended for hiring. Gender differences have also been documented in obesity-related wage penalties, where women who are affected by obesity tend to earn salaries that are 6 percent lower than thinner women (for the same work performed), whereas men who are affected by obesity experience a smaller wage penalty: 3 percent less than thinner men*