When do you stop giving Christmas and birthday money to extended family?

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Godoncanvas@reddit

When they have a job, 16 would be a good time.

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Ok-Train5382@reddit

Who has a job at 16 now? Given you need to be in education or training until you’re 18

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Lots of kids have part-time jobs at 16. Think McDonalds, retail stores. My 16 year-old nephew was nearly expelled because he used gift/chore money to buy vapes. He's facing a misdemeanor charge. He also slept with his ex-girlfriend and shared naked photos of her to his friends. He's talking to a 13 year-old now that he only knows online so far, talking about working so they can buy a house and live together. Clearly he has no concept of how much things cost. He's failing every class except choir. Now he wants a part-time job. He has never even given me a card for my birthday or Christmas, not even a hug, but I've been buying things for him his whole life. I think, since he wants to make bad choices, if he has money to buy vapes illegally, he has money to buy Christmas cards and small gifts. So, if he won't think about anyone else, he doesn't deserve gifts. I mean, if I was well off, I wouldn't care, but it can't be anything he can sell or trade for weed or vapes. I won't support his addiction/ criminal behavior. And now he wants to live with his mom instead of spending half the time with my brother so he can get by with his bad behavior easier. I feel like now is a good time to stop giving him anything. I think, if kids are busy in school and are trying to make good grades, it's fine if they don't work. School is their full time job. But if kids aren't taking school seriously, thinking they are going to be a big time rapper, maybe they need to work so they might see the value of staying in school. My younger nephew is starting to like some of his classes and wants to wait until after college to have a relationship. He wants to work for NASA. I support that. Hard to believe these boys share the same parents because they are so very different.

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eternal_entropy@reddit

My aunts and uncles stopped sending me money or presents when I hit 18.

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automod-was-right@reddit

Was this in the last decade or so? And if it's not too personal roughly how much did the closer relative give you? I've got a God son coming up to 18 and I've got no idea what the going rate for 18th presents from close relatives is? £500? £1000?

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mortstheonlyboyineed@reddit

I'm 40. My godparents have pretty much stuck to the same amounts my whole life regardless of inflation, etc. They are also fairly comfortable. Birthdays have always been upto £150 depending on needs. As a kid it was that value on toys or clothes but now it's generally cash or a small present and the rest In cash. During my teens and early 20s and even now to a point if there was something I specifically wanted or needed it would be considered and more often than not I'd get what I'd asked for even if slightly over budget. However they were both pretty strict about only buying things of quality or that they also liked. No tat or things that would fall apart or make me look like shit! For Christmas it's generally between £30-50 cash or voucher and maybe some small bits they'd got me. So if they'd brought me some clothing or something it would be more like £30. However. We do have a very close relationship and have open conversations. I could go to them for anything I needed throughout the year's, but likewise when they've had tough years, they've been straight and told me they can't afford xyz this year, and thats fine. I will stress, though, that they only do it because they can/could afford it. Don't bankrupt yourself over gifts. Time spent is way more important than things of a monetary value.

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automod-was-right@reddit

I do like this approach and seem to have a similar mindset to your god parents - I don't mind paying a bit over budget for something wanted and specific, I hate buying tat. I hope he know he could come to me for anything, but he is very over scheduled at the moment. I do need to make sure we get some time together so he knows I've got his back if he ever needs help.

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mortstheonlyboyineed@reddit

Can I ask how old he is?

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automod-was-right@reddit

17, not too far from 18. It's how special to make the 18th I'm struggling with. Part of the reason I've not made a big deal about spending time with him is at that age hanging out with your parents generation is often not fun, he is a person of few words, and I really struggle being the one that leads in social situations. Definitely god parent fail.

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mortstheonlyboyineed@reddit

Ha. Plenty of time to get things back on track if you really want to. Tbh I think mine are the exception rather than the rule. Most ppl I know barely know their Godparents if at all. I just got super lucky! I would say if you are willing to try and organise a coffee/beer or meal every couple of months you can bet he'd be more than happy to meet up. Especially if he's a starving student at that point!! In fact the 18th is a perfect opportunity. You could arrange an activity he's really into for you both to attend together and some cash if any budget left over. Or offer to take him on a shopping spree with lunch included etc. You guys don't even really need to talk, just chill together for a few hours.

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automod-was-right@reddit

Thank you for this. You've prompted me to make more of an effort to actively suggest activities rather than wait until I see him at family gatherings.

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mortstheonlyboyineed@reddit

Awww I am glad. Look he may keep knocking you back but at least you can try a few times and see. It will honestly improve your relationship I think. Makes me happy you've decided to do this. Good luck.

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indianajoes@reddit

I'm also around the other person's age too. I hit 18 just over a decade ago. Typically gifts were about £20 each. For 18/21, they were about £50-100 depending on how close we were.

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shadybabynight@reddit

Speak to his parents too. My parents bought me plane tickets for a holiday I was intending to self fund for my 21st, so they weren’t cheap by any means but definitely less than £500. I’d have thought it weird if a godparent or aunt/uncle had have then gifted me more than that. £500-£1000 seems like a lot but every family is different.

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automod-was-right@reddit

That's a good idea. It would be nicer to fund something specific. His parents are the type to say 'do whatever you thinks best' when trying to get an idea of an amount so tickets for something would be perfect.

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Serious_Escape_5438@reddit

I'd say it depends on your budget and what you normally do in your family. Nobody in mine would expect that much to be spent on a gift. Even if I felt I could afford it I think it would make people uncomfortable because they couldn't afford to do the same.

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automod-was-right@reddit

Yeah it's tricky. There's not a lot of close family but they are also significantly better off than I am. I keep swinging between numbers. I think 5x the usual amount from the other reply sounds about right.

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eternal_entropy@reddit

It was roughly 15 years ago. I would get £10-20 for Xmas or birthdays, but on my 18 it was like £50-100 depending on the giver. I think the way they worked it out was 5x the usual amount if that helps. But I do think it depends on your personal circumstances. Don’t give more than you can afford and you’re comfortable with.

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automod-was-right@reddit

Thank you. The 5x guide sounds good.

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robster9090@reddit

Ask them not to do it for yours and you won’t for them simples

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PuzzleheadedFun663@reddit

Oh I just remembered how my SIL tricked me into giving her an expensive gift by saying that her budget was £30 per person, and I got her a nice silver necklace. I received a box of chocolates that retailed at £10 but because of the expiry date she must have had it for no more than a fiver... How do I know? Because I'm a chocolate lover and I used to frequent that shop to get the bargains... I loved my chocolate box, she was annoyed that I shared it with the family

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PuzzleheadedFun663@reddit

I don't remember ever receiving a present from my extended family. My godfather stopped when I was about 6. My dad's side of the family lived in another country and my mum's side did just not do that. My grandmother also didn't have any money

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Forteanforever@reddit

Essentially, you're allowing yourself to be blackmailed into participating in a tradition that has no meaning except to elicit resentment in yourself. Consider that the other people caught up in this tradition would probably be quite happy to stop, too. Think of your SIL's habit of being easily offended to be her peculiar hobby in which you have no interest. Send notes to the aunts and uncles now saying something like, "Traditions change over the years and we've decided to stop gift-giving and ask that you not send us and ours gifts. We take joy in your well-wishes and that's more than enough for us."

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MJLDat@reddit

When they get to 21, one by one they all stopped getting money from all in the family. They were all working at that point too.

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stowaway_55@reddit

Just send a group message 'Hi, this year I won't be sending presents or money,(i'm on a financial diet/ will be sending a financial donation to X charity instead/ low on funds/ whatever reason) and along with this, this year me and my family don't be accepting gifts or money, if you still want to you can give yo X charity instead.

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_MicroWave_@reddit

I only take presents if I am visiting.

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aggressiveclassic90@reddit

I still put 20 quid in a card for all my nieces and nephews, they range from 28 to 16, some are on more money than me, think I'm a soft touch...

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Lasairfion@reddit

18

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factualreality@reddit

Once they are adults, then it should either be no gifts or a mutual exchange of gifts. If they don't get you anything, I'd stop giving to them, they are not children any more. I have many aunts and uncles - I now exchange gifts with the two I have the closest relationship with only.

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iolaus79@reddit

18 (so 18th birthday and christmas following) is what my aunts did and it's what my brother has done as well Grandparents/grandchild continues though

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Fit_General7058@reddit

Firstly, those 2 people aren't failure to launch at all. What?, you'd place someone who's in a relationship, with a kid, living off benefits, and being kept by the state, having produced one more mouth to be raised by taxpayers, than a single person the taxpayer a single person benefit, with no housing costs?. I wouldn't! Those two people who are obviously introverts don't deserve to be remembered any less than the loud procreating lot. Infact, I'd argue those with no one deserve to be remembered more than others with a tribe around them, who are always being noticed. You do you, but if it were me, I'd seeking to make cutbacks towards those who are expanding and costing me an arm and a leg. Letting two people who are alone know they are thought about is worth a billion times more than chucking £10s and selection boxes at people who will just consider it a miner gift/stocking filler. Maybe a secret santa is the way to go. Just don't forget the lonely, it's fucking Christmas, after all!

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datasciencepro@reddit

😂

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indianajoes@reddit

Yeah I hate that term. I'd also be classed as one. I went to uni at 18, failed and dropped out. I was stuck at home depressed doing nothing for about 2 years. Meanwhile, all my younger cousins were doing well at uni/graduating. I was made to feel like a failure for a while and it just made things worse for me. I did eventually get a retail job which was what I should've done in the first place instead of going to uni at 18 when I didn't know what I wanted in life. I was able to work my way up to supervisor, got diagnosed with autism in my 20s which explained so much, and then I was able to build up the confidence to go back to uni again and I graduated last year at 30. Yeah I'm behind others in my extended family if you look at my life. I'm not married, I don't have kids, I live with my parents, I'm just starting my career now instead of 10 years ago. Some people would probably call me a failure to launch too. I disagree that 27 and 31 year olds should be getting presents the same way the kids of the family should but they definitely need and deserve the support from family members. I wish I'd been told at that age that I'm not screwing up my life forever. That what happened to me was a common thing and I can still turn things around.

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CoffeeIgnoramus@reddit

1. What's the point behind mentioning that some of your family are "failure to launch". Are you saying this is your reason for stopping gifting? 2. My family decided that at a certain point all parents just give a small present on behalf of all aunts and uncles, then everyone essentially looks after their own kids, but it's not like they don't care or "stop" getting a gift. Or you secret santa it, then everyone still gets a surprise but you only have to buy 1 present. We even do that in our close family, as we can all buy our own stuff, so it's more then thought.

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Paulstan67@reddit

I never even started, why would I give people my cash? Bloody stupid idea if you ask me.

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intangible-tangerine@reddit

I buy presents for all my close friends and family whether they're 8 or 80 and not just for special occasions but also just randomly. I like giving gifts, I don't fret about whether they are 'deserved' I just treat buying for people I care about as being equivalent to buying for myself because it makes me happy

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NoshNoms@reddit

As soon as they turn 18.

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BppnfvbanyOnxre@reddit

I gave my nieces and nephews a ton on their 18th birthdays and that was the end. Prior to that I'd send/spend maybe £20.

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1HeyMattJ@reddit

When I can’t afford it. Which is this year

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GeneralQuantum@reddit

This is a constant argument between me, who can do maths, and her, who can't. She has a huge family, 6 siblings who now all have 2-3 children each, so its 12 parents, and 17 children total. Then there's her mum, aunts, and cousins etc. Then my family. Long story short, the list is about 60-70 people. Every year "We'll just do cheap £10-20 gifts for each" Me "That's on average nearly a grand" Her "Don't be silly, little 10-20 here and there" Me "That list is 70 odd people. 70 x 10 is 700. 70 x 20 is 1400. 1000 between the two. She gets her calculator out and does the raised eyebrows of shock. And we do this every year. Christmas is just another mindless event for the state to extract wealth out of the peasants.

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alice_op@reddit

Crikey. The whole family must feel a big pinch at Christmas if they're all buying for 60-70 people?? I'd make a big group chat and suggest a secret santa for the adults. Save both time and money.

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GeneralQuantum@reddit

It causes arguments every year, and because our family is higher taxrate people call me a grumpy cunt for not wanting to spend a grand. The rest do and say how they earn half and still do it. Then when I reply "And that's why you remain poor" shit really hits the fan. I've said up front lets focus on spending time, playing games, having fun and eating good food and fuck cheap chinese shit that breaks after a year anyway. Apparently still being a scrooge that way. The presents part of Christmas I hate. I only buy the 17 (and my 2) children presents and that's that. Kids get presents, adults get food and company.

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indianajoes@reddit

Who the fuck buys grown adult parents presents let alone ones that are on the same level as the kids presents?

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cgknight1@reddit

In my family, once you hit 18 it's over. It makes Christmas much cheaper.

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indianajoes@reddit

Christmas and birthdays were so expensive in my house. I was only child but all the relatives had 2 kids. So we'd always get £20 from each family and have £40 going out. It was easier when we were younger because we could shop for deals and get something worth more for half price for each kid

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hyperstorm@reddit

Same. I think I stopped receiving at 16 from a few relatives. (I have a fairly large extended family, one side being Italian Catholics!) Although my Nonna did keep sending £10 in a card well into my 20s. Well, I say "send" -- she lived on the same street until she had to move in with my aunt, so it was more like "drop it off on the way to the bus stop".

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Organic_Reporter@reddit

My parents did this with us! Haven't had anything form them since we turned 18, except on my 30th, from my mum and stepdad. My bio dad sends a card, but he only sends money to grandchildren.

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Spoopylaura@reddit

My uncle was the same! He told us once we hit 18 there’s no more presents or cards for birthdays and Christmas! I get a card for my birthday sometimes it’s not even on time!

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markeymark1971@reddit

As soon as they turn 21......then just buy a card, do they buy you gifts?

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indianajoes@reddit

In our family, it was around 18/21 depending on how close we were. I was also a failure to launch with no partner, no kids and living at home but I can't imagine giving or receiving money at 27 let alone 31.

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lovinglifeatmyage@reddit

We stop when they hit 18

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SometimesMonkeysDie@reddit

Had this conversation with my sisters last week. We decided to cut it off at 21. I felt a bit bad as my nephew is 20, my neices are 19, 16 and 13 and all my kids are younger

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SupervillainIndiana@reddit

The last time I got money in cards from extended family was my birthday and the Christmas I was 21.

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nwspark1956@reddit

We have 3 kids 37-42 son-in-law 45 & 5 grandkids all get £50 Xmas and birthdays

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AverageCheap4990@reddit

I'm in my 40s, and my auntie still sends me Christmas presents as well as friends of the family.

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platoniclesbiandate@reddit

It should have been 21

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Craft_on_draft@reddit

It depends on how much you are going to give as well, I only have one nephew and we are really close, I give him a couple of hundred for his birthday but will stop when he is 21. I think that giving a tenner to a 25 year old isn’t worth it, as at that age it isn’t an amount of money you can really do anything with. The gesture is nice , but at that age just keep the tenner

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shadybabynight@reddit

I don’t know, gifts should never be about value should they? It cliche but it really is the thought that counts. I didn’t really appreciate those fivers or tenners from distant relatives as much as I should have until I stopped receiving them (our family stops when you turn 16). Now I’m 27 and if someone gets me a bday card I’m delighted, never mind if it’s got money in it or not.

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Craft_on_draft@reddit

Yeah I agree but a tenner in a card doesn’t exactly help too much financially or indicate a lot of thought, a tenner spent on a box of someone’s favourite chocolate or something I would say continue with no matter how old they are, but the cash isn’t thoughtful or helpful

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shadybabynight@reddit

That’s my point though, it kinda does indicate some thought. Still takes effort to go get someone a card and post it or drop it round. If you find chocolates nicer than fair enough, but trust me, if you ever get to the point were you’re not receiving anything for your birthdays you’ll learn to appreciate what you were getting when you were getting something.

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hyperstorm@reddit

I dunno, it's a couple of pints, which is always appreciated!

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solelyreddit@reddit

Not in london. Its barely 1! 😂

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Organic_Reporter@reddit

My husband is 44 and still enjoys getting a tenner in a card!

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DubiousVirtue@reddit

We agreed a few years ago to stop gifting to my brothers and sister. Still gift to my Mum & Dad.

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Specialist-Web7854@reddit

I have a lot of niblings and this just isn’t sustainable ad infinitum. On their 18th they get £50, then after that nothing - if we see them, they’ll get some chocs but nothing big. It seems harsh, but I’ve had no push back so I think my siblings were relieved that they can do the same.

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reads_to_much@reddit

Secret santa or just a conversation between the parents.. Just a " hey I think they are all old enough now that we stop putting money in all the cards" or suggest a secret santa between all the " grown kids" but still buy for those who still are kids so under 18's

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Joshthenosh77@reddit

When they are not kids anymore lol

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Emergency_Mistake_44@reddit

I (mid 30s) still get money off my aunts and uncles for my birthday and Christmas. I do half heartedly try to stop them. Honest. I work, have two kids and live alone if that's relevant. Maybe they feel sorry for me.

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Minimum-Pay-4169@reddit

Im 22 and an only child and grandchild (one one side of the family) . On the other side, i now have no grad parents but Just 1 cousin. My extend ed family consists of 7 People. So, i get a lot still. Dads side: 50-100 from my aunt, 200 from my grandma. Mums side: 100 from my cousin. 30-50 from my uncle. Parents: they are married and together but give me separate gifts. Dads gifts are normally bigger like phone, smart watch, nice perfume. Mums presents are a bit smaller but often sentimental and still amazing like suitcase, pjs, books, cosmetics. I normally bought gifts for parents and my friends, but this year my social life seems to be lacking, so i will buy presents for : my parents (40quid each), my DOG (5 quid), my bf (100 quid), his 4 siblings and parents (20 quid each, except for his twin brother who i will gift a 30 quid present)

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Alarming-You1703@reddit

1976

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henundertoj@reddit

I’m 33 and one of my aunties still ‘secretly’ hands me a £20 whenever I see her. I stick it in my kids piggy bank as I assume that’s what it’s for!

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SomeHSomeE@reddit

I'm nearly 40 with a well established career and my grandma still gives me a £20 cheque every Xmas (never increased with inflation).

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BreqsCousin@reddit

My auntie gives me money at Christmas and I'm 40. There's only two of us though, you sound like you have a plethora of nieces and nephews

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BoringWardrobe@reddit

Yeah the amount of nephews and neices is important - I currently have 1 neice so she's getting a lot this year. She's also only 1 so of course we're all excited for her first proper Christmas. My sister plans on having a very large family (3 kids minimum) and my partner has 6 siblings so when that number of nephews and neieces grows I'm afraid each one is going to get a bit less!

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dobbynobson@reddit

Same here. She has no children but 4 great-niblings, and isn't hard up. We still get £30 sometimes (she doesn't always remember). In return I send cards and make her little things.

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Rararanter@reddit

My family, on both sides, have a hard "over 21 and it is just a card" rule for birthdays and Christmas unless we are specifically seeing them for a birthday party. Xmas gifts are only for immediate family so siblings/parents. As this is the norm for both sides of my family, I have gone through life assuming everyone has the same rule and now feel very silly!!

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Throwaway-me-@reddit

My grandparents on myums side still sends me money even though I'm nearly 30 My grandparents on my dad's side told me on my 21st birthday that I would no longer get gifts or money from them going forwards. I appreciate the money from my mum's parents, and completely understand the point of view of my dad's parents. Dad's side have more money than my mum's side, but I'm their only grandkid, compared to mum's side which has...a lot. So it all depends I guess.

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Legal_Reaction6051@reddit

My mother and all my family give presents or money to extended family until they reach 18, after 18 you just get a card.

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AdrenalineAnxiety@reddit

If they are adults then the exchange of gifts as a show of love should be mutual. Do the 27 and 31 year old get you anything? Make a nice card if they're unemployed? Text you? Show any effort at all? If the relationship isn't there then you shouldn't give gifts to an adult, I think a text or a card is fine. Any drama is their own to deal with quite frankly.

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BoringWardrobe@reddit

Yes exactly this. I really enjoy buying gifts for family and friends, but the last few years it's become a chore buying for my parents - they have never appreciated the effort and thought and in return, I've received the same kind of gifts I was getting in my stocking at the age of 5 (me and my sibling are now in our 30s). This year we've agreed no gifts to or from them and it is such a relief. The relationship isn't there and it isn't mutual so its stopped. On the other hand, I will be buying gifts for my partners Mum, his siblings and various extended family. I don't think it's about the closeness of the biological relationship, but the quality of that relationship.

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Colonel_Cat_Tumnus@reddit

18. I will always get the kids something up to this age.

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Scav_Construction@reddit

My wife and I started making home made Baileys at Christmas and on Christmas eve we go about our close friends and those extended family members and hand out little bottles. Not a massive outlay but a good reason to nip in and say merry Christmas to everyone

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b0neappleteeth@reddit

i still get stuff from my grandparents but we said once we are over 21 no more from aunts and uncles

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Eastern_Idea_1621@reddit

Once they leave education and get a job. If they send cards or gifts I will reciprocate but otherwise they get a card

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justdont7133@reddit

Why not suggest a big secret Santa, and buy one person a decent present, rather than everyone getting a small token. We already do this between the adults in the family, and the kids will join into this when they are adults, and working (haven't decided an exact age yet as none of them have left school yet)

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fabulousteaparty@reddit

This is such a good idea! I do this with my siblings and our partners (we use an website where I can set exclusions for partners as one would presume we'll be buying for our own partners anyway) my neices and nephews are still kids but could totally see them joining in in 10-15 years!

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Serious_Escape_5438@reddit

A secret Santa is good if they are all getting together but honestly if it's just to send in a card I wouldn't even bother with that. Depends on the relationship really, even with more money none of my aunts and uncles would have known what I wanted at 20.

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smash993@reddit

We still give presents to immediate family. But sending presents to all my cousins and extended family got expensive so we swapped to a secret Santa and haven’t looked back!

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plankton_lover@reddit

I agree. I have four kids and they all do a secret santa just between themselves. They've been doing it since the youngest was about 5 - it started off with each child suggesting/choosing a suitable gift for their sib, and I'd buy it, and now the older ones get it themselves with their allowances and I still arrange delivery for the younger ones.

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Ok-Train5382@reddit

Not having kids at 31 is fairly normal on 2023… But also I haven’t had gifts from aunts and uncles since I was 18. I still get presents from my grandparents at 32 though

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All_within_my_hands@reddit

I never have... But if I did then I would have stopped at 16.

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Serious_Escape_5438@reddit

We got actual gifts from a couple of aunts but it stopped around that age.

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PrinceBert@reddit

I feel like that's roughly the age where our extended family stopped sending money to my sister and I. I couldn't tell you exactly if that's correct but I'm pretty sure it would have been around then. It definitely didn't last past 18.

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turingthecat@reddit

I’m mid thirties I’ve have a job for 20 years and live away from home for 15 years. So the £20 my aunt sends me at Christmas isn’t quite as vital as it was 10 years ago. But not only does it mean I can buy a treat I haven’t budgeted for (like a nice bit of meat). And though it’s not as meaningful as the handmade card the aunt I’m closest too, but it shows she’s thinking of me, which feels important to me, as we only see each other at weddings and funerals now. I don’t buy ‘the grown-ups’ presents, but mr and my cousins give each other practical presents, and we buy each other’s pets toys and treats (not that we particularly care about each other’s animals, but we know how important our pets are to us, so it’s how we show we love that cousin)

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Erheniel@reddit

The general rule of thumb in my family is you get present/money but once you have children, they get the present/money instead.

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CustardCreamBot@reddit

**[OP or Mod marked this as the best answer](/r/AskUK/comments/17sqhjg/when_do_you_stop_giving_christmas_and_birthday/k8rl2qz/), given by u/Fun_Efficiency3097** My extended family are all fairly well-heeled, but after 25 we do a scratch card and a card. Everyone does it so it's fair all around. --- [_^What ^is ^this?_](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/comments/jjrte1/askuk_hits_200k_new_feature_mark_an_answer/)

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Fun_Efficiency3097@reddit

My extended family are all fairly well-heeled, but after 25 we do a scratch card and a card. Everyone does it so it's fair all around.

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rebootsaresuchapain@reddit (OP)

!answer. Thank you so much, I really like this idea.

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AutumnSunshiiine@reddit

I would stop at 18. And I would not have given niece/nephew’s kids anything other than a card to start with. But then I don’t actually have any, and we are not a close family in the first place. Spoke to my cousins for the first time in maybe 20 years yesterday.

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automod-was-right@reddit

I was born in the 70's and my Aunties still buy me birthday and Christmas presents or give me money. The neighbours stopped when I was around 18. My friend made a comment about it being the last year I need to get my God son a present as he turns 18 (her son). Depends how much of a difference the money makes to you. It does seem weird when we are all old but in some ways it's nicer as you get older as you have fewer friends.

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shuvelhead1@reddit

Still do it into there 30s...

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Pitmus@reddit

18 and 21.

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liseusester@reddit

Family agreement has always been that it stops at 18, and you just get a card after that.

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Nine_Eye_Ron@reddit

We started in 2017

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keep_giving_up@reddit

As the youngest cousin/niece I never had to worry about this Last year my brothers and I stopped getting each other presents - my youngest brother and I still get each other tokens because we don’t have children.

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MercuryJellyfish@reddit

I think it all depends on how close and how many. I give Christmas but not birthday money to my nephews. But I only have two of them, and I don't really have anyone closer.

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Breaking-Dad-@reddit

My youngest niece is 20, she will get something for her 21st and then that is it. But I’ll buy her drinks I’m the pub or pay for stuff when I’m with her (and the other nieces and nephews who are a bit older)

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423459875@reddit

I’m 23, and my mum’s side of the family is very small and close-knit, so I still get birthday and Christmas money from my two aunts on that side. My aunts and uncles on my dad’s (much bigger) side of the family stopped when I was 18, as they did with my older sister.

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boringusername@reddit

I just stopped when I got fed up honestly for some reason my mum got me to buy everyone in the family presents with my own money from a young age I got to a point where I just realised I never got a thank you and didn’t see the point of sending presents to people I hadn’t seen in 5-10 years, but you have to be ok that they will stop sending to you or your child too

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MarcusH26051@reddit

I'm 30 and my aunt still sends me , my brother and sister all small presents. I'm talking like the 3 for 2 from Boots type thing , nothing huge.

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twittermob@reddit

I stopped as soon as they turned 21.

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bornleverpuller85@reddit

I'm nearly 40 and my uncle and aunt still pop fifty quid on a card every Christmas and birthday

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