TheaterFire

I only make computer screen size apps

Posted by VitaminnCPP@reddit | ProgrammerHumor | View on Reddit | 376 comments

I only make computer screen size apps

Reply to Post

376 Comments

smurff1337@reddit

Yup, website like Google, you know it's just a search field whit a logo on top..
View on Reddit #90861

I_DidIt_Again@reddit

I was once asked to make a social media platform. For free too
View on Reddit #99254

Noughmad@reddit

Did they say it's free, or did they offer you a percent of the profit? Because apparently "clients" like this think there's a difference.
View on Reddit #101084

I_DidIt_Again@reddit

Absolutely free lol
View on Reddit #102727

AstorLarson@reddit

But all the fame you would get... That's worth something right?
View on Reddit #120071

I_DidIt_Again@reddit

You're missing out all the *exposure*
View on Reddit #208867

gummo89@reddit

Yeah people always scroll to the bottom and hit me up for a website from the fame. Have you tried using `<blink>`?
View on Reddit #134446

metalmensch@reddit

Platform for nothing and the likes for free. I think there's a song about this.
View on Reddit #126510

I_DidIt_Again@reddit

Love your iteration lol
View on Reddit #208847

SeanBlader@reddit

I got asked by an ambitious construction small business owner to rebuild Yelp basically.
View on Reddit #102682

I_DidIt_Again@reddit

Sounds easy enough
View on Reddit #102751

NetSage@reddit

I mean depending on how feature rich and how important security is to you a lot of the social network sites have open source clones that would work but probably abandoned long ago.
View on Reddit #109291

PendragonDaGreat@reddit

Relevant xkcd https://xkcd.com/1605/
View on Reddit #96317

JorgeMtzb@reddit

God damn it they really do have one for anything
View on Reddit #114361

odraencoded@reddit

\>input is 6+ divs deep \>no `<main>` tag \>no `<label>` tag \>class names are gibberish They don't practice the best web practices, smh my head
View on Reddit #97505

PendragonDaGreat@reddit

I know you're joking but on the last one class names are intentionally obfuscated, they write them with normal names and then when it gets sent out to prod the name get intentionally mangled to make it harder to parse just by looking at it.
View on Reddit #98527

odraencoded@reddit

I thought they did it to save a few bytes.
View on Reddit #98694

SwabTheDeck@reddit

Probably neither, actually. It's probably a build system generating randomized class names so that they can be tied to some other bit of data in JS. You can see they do things like this: <div class="RNNXgb" jsname="RNNXgb"> ... which is probably making either this specific div or a set of similar divs easily accessible in some way in JS. They're also saving bytes, but it's likely a side effect.
View on Reddit #109011

PendragonDaGreat@reddit

The class that indicates an image search image used to be something like adYjdzq or something like that img-res is the same length and way mor informative
View on Reddit #98925

odraencoded@reddit

Sure, but they probably have tons of classes, and they have all sorts of crazy different versions for webpages, A/B testing all the time, etc. It could be they just generate an unique string for each of them so it's easier to debug afterwards.
View on Reddit #99393

sashaisafish@reddit

Question: why is this? I know when I use styled components and some styling libraries (like bootstrap and mui, I can't remember the proper name for them right now, I'm still very much a beginner) they do this as well, but I've never known why...
View on Reddit #100378

PendragonDaGreat@reddit

1. Reduces accidental collisions 2. Obfuscate the information away from scrapers by making it more difficult to parse initially, then changing it periodically.
View on Reddit #100794

sashaisafish@reddit

Thanks for answering! :) That makes sense, is hiding it from scrapers largely to make it harder for (especially scammers) to make clone websites?
View on Reddit #102882

VitaminnCPP@reddit (OP)

Backend is for lossers
View on Reddit #92074

FurryMoistAvenger@reddit

Requirements: 300 petabytes local storage
View on Reddit #93243

dalphinwater@reddit

I have a 2tb ssd, would that work?
View on Reddit #114033

TTYY_20@reddit

My minimum requirements are 1 Exabyte
View on Reddit #93469

lackluster-name-here@reddit

“I’m sure we can use compression to fit it on the client” - some manager
View on Reddit #95226

dym_sh@reddit

`let internet = {}`
View on Reddit #101704

lackluster-name-here@reddit

We’re gonna need a bigger mutex
View on Reddit #101824

FurryMoistAvenger@reddit

And just a bit more ram
View on Reddit #110206

Pandafishe@reddit

"I don't care, not my job" - some underpaid developer
View on Reddit #95986

ScreenshotShitposts@reddit

"aww shit here we go again" - junior dev on the zoom call
View on Reddit #99658

Importanyhdf@reddit

If I were you, I'd charge by the pixel.
View on Reddit #105751

monkeybanana550@reddit

https://www.reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/comments/11zin6k/i_only_make_computer_screen_size_apps/jdcluxa Report u/Importanyhdf as spam>harmful bot. Account is a copypaste comment bot.
View on Reddit #109581

Profwertyt@reddit

Did you tell them to use ChatGPT to do it? #HowToSayF**kOffPolitely
View on Reddit #102233

Xszit@reddit

This comment was made by a bot, copy and pasted from another comment further down the thread. https://www.reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/comments/11zin6k/i_only_make_computer_screen_size_apps/jdd41bw?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
View on Reddit #103100

giaa262@reddit

Don't forget under resourced. Paying a talented dev half a million a year isn't going to fix you offshoring important backend functionality to people who have no idea how the previous on shore team built it.
View on Reddit #97970

BookInternational260@reddit

Can I apply? Or is this for horses only?
View on Reddit #108455

IReallyCantTalk@reddit

We should try the middle out algorithm!
View on Reddit #101170

dotslashpunk@reddit

just put it up on S3, can’t cost more than a few hundred thousand a month
View on Reddit #101535

SomethingIWontRegret@reddit

Epstein bytes. We had a Sony Petafile at one time. We couldn't say it without cracking up.
View on Reddit #96363

delvach@reddit

Those things are unreliable; too many child processes.
View on Reddit #97336

gophergun@reddit

YaCy moment
View on Reddit #96998

Ash-Catchum-All@reddit

My app makes money by selling user data. It’s a single text input field that writes txt files to an s3 bucket. You just put whatever you want in there, like your name, DOB, social security number, dank copypastas, you name it
View on Reddit #110083

LukeChriswalker@reddit

I wanna do it just because. Someone ask me to build them just a website and I have the client freeze and scrape websites when searching Do not ask me to make software, I know how not to do it and I will do it
View on Reddit #93672

Single_Bookkeeper_11@reddit

That's actually interesting. Could you theoretically get the user ip banned by doing this?
View on Reddit #96497

Lacutis@reddit

As someone who does a large amount of automated scraping, the answer is kind of. The most common deterrent that happens when you do stuff like this is presenting captchas to break automated browsing. It's fine to test on a single IP but if you want any kind of sustained large volume scraping you need multiple ips with staggered page loads to defeat automation detectors.
View on Reddit #107157

Single_Bookkeeper_11@reddit

yup, I have a fair amount of experience with webscraping too, but I am wondering if some random javascript running in your browser could get your ip banned as a form of sabotage Steps: 1. Buy a javascript enabled add 2. Load the add with scraping javascript code 3. Victim visits the webpage with the add and javascript loads 4. Victim's ip gets banned and throttled with captchas
View on Reddit #109900

Lacutis@reddit

Most ad networks iframe their ad containers so you are pretty limited in what you can access from the page the ad is on.
View on Reddit #109958

LukeChriswalker@reddit

Depending on what xou do, probably. If you probe every domain, you're bound to hit a hoster like cloudflare who'd probably be annoyed, if you even get past the verification
View on Reddit #97025

Single_Bookkeeper_11@reddit

I was unclear, but I meant it as an offensive thing. Getting the user ip banned on purpose
View on Reddit #99268

LukeChriswalker@reddit

Ah. Yes, same way, but someone else mentioned CORS and now I'm not so sire anymore. When in doubt just write an exe and send it the user as "Bill_56A379_2023-03-23_PayPal.pdf" and get them IP banned that way, much easier
View on Reddit #99756

Hurtfulbirch@reddit

Isn’t CORS going to block pretty much every request you try to make?
View on Reddit #99073

LukeChriswalker@reddit

Fuck CORS I suppose, I'm a back end dev because of shit like that. My Queue doesn't want to scroll to the active element, my Cache doesn't get blocked by CORS
View on Reddit #99717

VampiricGarlicBread@reddit

CORS policies are mainly enforced by browsers, aren't they? If you use any other tool, it won't care what the target website's CORS policies are
View on Reddit #99711

jwkdjslzkkfkei3838rk@reddit

Do we even need a backend, if the frontend can make SQL queries directly?
View on Reddit #108485

Salty_Engineer6278@reddit

Thats funny cuz I have been contemplating doing this for a personal project bc I don’t want to spend money hosting a server
View on Reddit #107913

Ash-Catchum-All@reddit

My app makes money by selling user data. It’s a single text input field that writes txt files to an s3 bucket. You just put whatever you want in there, like your name, DOB, social security number, dank copypastas, you name it
View on Reddit #105110

BlackDeath3@reddit

> web scrapping That's what I call my deployments
View on Reddit #103723

IWAHalot@reddit

Backend will be all GPT from here on out
View on Reddit #103440

Geister_faust@reddit

Why stop there, why not do some mining too?
View on Reddit #100160

EsMuyBuenoSi@reddit

Lossers? losers* Web scrapping? You mean it destroys a web? scraping* For the love of fuck, if your code is as poor as your English, I want nothing to do with your app.
View on Reddit #96041

Stupid_Triangles@reddit

DONT YOU EVER TALK TO ME OR MY APP DEVELOPER AGAIN!
View on Reddit #99014

StatusAntelope2519@reddit

For the love of fuck, if your ability to spot a bug is as poor as your ability to spot a joke I want nothing to do with your app.
View on Reddit #96378

Character-Education3@reddit

For some people Reddit is like their job. Their unpaid job that they take super seriously for no pay. Needs to be perfect at all times. Nothing that would upset a client like an errant apostrophe. They just don't understand people who use reddit for a quick way to destress or kill time. They,LL be ok though...
View on Reddit #96591

robotoshi@reddit

r/whoosh
View on Reddit #96471

AresZs@reddit

I gonna scraaaaaape
View on Reddit #96507

neomeow@reddit

Did you tell them to use ChatGPT to do it? #HowToSayF**kOffPolitely
View on Reddit #95405

jefesignups@reddit

I shit you not the other day we had this conversation. Manager: Can we add a search bar to the map? Us: Sure, what do you want to search? Manager: Everything
View on Reddit #101039

Earlwink@reddit

![gif](giphy|7cTTE2Z1OmrFm)
View on Reddit #110275

bmxtiger@reddit

I now hear this but with chapgpt thrown randomly in there somewhere.
View on Reddit #104173

mngeese@reddit

Do they not need blockchain anymore?
View on Reddit #105930

notKRIEEEG@reddit

Just use Chat GPT to create Blockchains! I've asked for it and it gave me a free Hash! >0x8f6d2341b25fa43692e26c105c0e8f485eaf9d44c3b36673a6c8d2cd0891a2a2
View on Reddit #108042

4ware_@reddit

Put a Splunk search bar there.
View on Reddit #107886

LinAGKar@reddit

I've had an employer tell me a combo box needs to work "like Google". It was enough to split the string by whitespace and search for each part separately.
View on Reddit #99942

SimplexSimon@reddit

This is what they pay us the big bucks for
View on Reddit #106517

Spy_crab_@reddit

Just call Chat-GPT, no problem.
View on Reddit #99194

ImplementNo88dd@reddit

10/10
View on Reddit #99904

IfIWasCoolEnough@reddit

And Bing API in the backend.
View on Reddit #97957

dMestra@reddit

Your first mistake was asking a non-programmer to imagine the architecture lol
View on Reddit #123502

robert_gaut@reddit

If I were you, I'd charge by the square millimeter. ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|sweat_smile)
View on Reddit #91937

apex32@reddit

Lol, remember the [Million Dollar Homepage] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Million_Dollar_Homepage)?
View on Reddit #95502

Bongsandbdsm@reddit

"Tew dropped out of the business degree the site was set up to fund after one term" Lol fucking scammed
View on Reddit #98865

turningsteel@reddit

The guy made a million dollars on his website idea to raise money for business school. What would he need business school for at that point? I just seeing it as using his time wisely to leave after one term.
View on Reddit #106302

DisgracefulPengu@reddit

Yeah, bro is killing it
View on Reddit #122213

wasdninja@reddit

http://www.milliondollarhomepage.com/
View on Reddit #111018

thedonald_ethtrader@reddit

Wow at first glance I thought it was r/place
View on Reddit #95922

ProgramTheWorld@reddit

That idea existed before r/place was a thing
View on Reddit #96342

nekrosstratia@reddit

That idea existed before Reddit was a thing ;)
View on Reddit #97037

Gen_Zer0@reddit

It actually was launched about 2 months after Reddit was launched, so no
View on Reddit #97930

CrumblingCake@reddit

That probably means was right.
View on Reddit #107664

FoxerHR@reddit

Congrats on getting reddited.
View on Reddit #103685

u966@reddit

> Supported by the funding from Y Combinator,[28] Huffman coded the site in Common Lisp[29] and together with Ohanian launched Reddit in June 2005. > Alex Tew, a student from Cricklade in Wiltshire, England, conceived The Million Dollar Homepage in August 2005 when he was 21 years old. Close but no cigar
View on Reddit #97909

Varpie@reddit

The website launched in August. Surely the idea is older though. Taking more than 2 months to go from idea to execution seems likely, so the idea is still likely older than Reddit.
View on Reddit #100317

u966@reddit

And June 2005 was when reddit launched, which one do you think took longer to go from idea to launch?
View on Reddit #101303

Varpie@reddit

I guess it depends on how you defined it "was a thing". If we're just talking about idea, then sure, but if we're talking about it being an actual website anyone can use, I stand with my point.
View on Reddit #101490

u966@reddit

> He was about to begin a three-year Business Management course at the University of Nottingham /.../ As a money-raising idea /.../ The website went live on 26 August 2005 Seems to me to be within the same month. Doubt it took more than 2 months.
View on Reddit #101803

Frodolas@reddit

It says "conceived" in August. And no, it really didn't take more than 2 months back then to go from an idea as simple as million dollar homepage to execution.
View on Reddit #101062

Coretron@reddit

It was the most dugg link back in 05
View on Reddit #98231

daxtron2@reddit

And it was only 1465 diggs to do that, the internet was a much smaller place back then.
View on Reddit #99558

0lazy0@reddit

Woah that’s cool. Was r/place inspired by this?
View on Reddit #99404

kwarantaene2020@reddit

 “I mean it's one pixel, Michael, what could it cost, 1 dollar?”
View on Reddit #95766

lotta0@reddit

forget, but never forgive
View on Reddit #99292

vanderZwan@reddit

I wonder if anyone kept track of which domains expired and then got bought up by other companies. Could be an interesting case study of internet bit rot.
View on Reddit #98894

greendude120@reddit

> The Million Dollar Homepage is a website conceived in 2005 by Alex Tew] a student from Wiltshire, England, to raise money for his university education. > Tew dropped out of the business degree the site was set up to fund after one term
View on Reddit #98772

John_cCmndhd@reddit

>it received 1465 Diggs, becoming one of the most **Dugg** links that week TIL, the past tense verb of Digg
View on Reddit #98257

PM_COFFEE_TO_ME@reddit

This always reminds me of Office Space pet rock convo. He made a million dollars!
View on Reddit #97272

HateYouKillYou@reddit

Didn't reddit do some derivitive shit like that? Pixel battles and shit?
View on Reddit #95846

FuriousGremlin@reddit

r/place yea
View on Reddit #95952

EdgeMentality@reddit

r/place
View on Reddit #95946

Gupperz@reddit

Paid in exposure
View on Reddit #107136

beatrailblazer@reddit

They have a Pixel 7, so it won't be too expensive
View on Reddit #101171

VitaminnCPP@reddit (OP)

chatgeByPixel("an_app");
View on Reddit #92475

Lizten182@reddit

I was trying to help my friend make a bit for discord. I’m not super knowledgeable but I can make basic shit work with google sometimes. Anyways I asked what language he was using and he told me “English”
View on Reddit #121868

MySpaceEmoCat@reddit

"What language do you want me to code in?" "Uhm... English?"
View on Reddit #91020

VitaminnCPP@reddit (OP)

"What will your App supposed to do." "Umm.... It's like Tinder.... But for horses"
View on Reddit #91308

KimonoDragon814@reddit

I need you to build Horse Economy 3: Stable Markets for me Budget is 3.50 timeline 2 weeks
View on Reddit #93459

Ink_25@reddit

r/CitiesSkylines is that way, fellow redditor
View on Reddit #119107

Pfheonix@reddit

I ain't givin' you no tree fiddy, Tech Ness Monster!
View on Reddit #100174

EldeederSFW@reddit

If it uses AI Blockchain I am in!
View on Reddit #92874

FrankHightower@reddit

Better, it uses AI Art -generated NFTs!
View on Reddit #95173

skildert@reddit

Nice, those will be used as login tokens.
View on Reddit #115383

EldeederSFW@reddit

We just need to find a programmer to build it! They’ll get 10% equity and we’ll split the remaining 90%, because it’s our idea.
View on Reddit #95279

not-my-best-wank@reddit

Can I apply? Or is this for horses only?
View on Reddit #92185

Lemon_Sack@reddit

It's OnlyHorse
View on Reddit #92421

mazda_fanboy@reddit

Imagine the feet pics😳
View on Reddit #92580

Remy-the-Rancher@reddit

Horseshoe (read as horse's hoe)
View on Reddit #92897

ghostwh0walks@reddit

Horsing Around
View on Reddit #110522

Remy-the-Rancher@reddit

Horny Unicorn
View on Reddit #115134

4BDUL4Z1Z@reddit

Horse's Toe
View on Reddit #94901

Hsinats@reddit

i read it like whore-shoe
View on Reddit #93977

Remy-the-Rancher@reddit

~~Whores Hoe~~
View on Reddit #94021

Valkerian@reddit

Hoof Hearted?
View on Reddit #108022

TTYY_20@reddit

When I take my shoes offf And it’s just a devolved horse foot
View on Reddit #93488

RuneLFox@reddit

I think having hooves would be great, tbh.
View on Reddit #105731

pastasauce@reddit

That gives me a great idea for a website! It's like wikiFeet, but for horses
View on Reddit #102183

alvinbaena@reddit

Hoof 🥵
View on Reddit #100307

ch-12@reddit

Are baby horse feet allowed? because… yikes
View on Reddit #99213

brusslipy@reddit

Shame it doesn't allow elephants feet, served as x-ray preferably.
View on Reddit #98439

Uberspank@reddit

The exotic cameltoes
View on Reddit #96229

thetimujin@reddit

Are bronies with foot fetish into hooves
View on Reddit #94476

muhyb@reddit

"Send me your bare hoof"
View on Reddit #94266

IrregularRedditor@reddit

There are better names * StableMates * Bit ‘n Bridal * Mare Match * Neighbr
View on Reddit #98931

SavvySillybug@reddit

These read like My Little Pony fanfic things.
View on Reddit #100358

RespectableLurker555@reddit

Not that I would know
View on Reddit #103362

Yoconn@reddit

Neehhhh
View on Reddit #102384

mizzourifan1@reddit

I only ride horses from Fenton's Horse Ranch, where the horses are hung like me!
View on Reddit #101262

No_Bank@reddit

OnlyHooves
View on Reddit #98760

Johnnybravo60025@reddit

PonyFans?
View on Reddit #94594

AnthonyK0@reddit

Calli?
View on Reddit #103860

Don_Pacifico@reddit

Are you a horse?
View on Reddit #96235

TurntTablist@reddit

If I say yes, will you feed me ketamine?
View on Reddit #100830

Don_Pacifico@reddit

Only the finest ket for my little pony.
View on Reddit #101336

not-my-best-wank@reddit

I don't think so, but everyone keeps wanting to go for a ride, so maybe?
View on Reddit #96418

Foreplay241@reddit

Sure, I'll take a ride if you're offering.
View on Reddit #99031

aquartabla@reddit

Not until after the first *stable* release.
View on Reddit #100818

Pfheonix@reddit

It's for presenting Gallop Polls.
View on Reddit #100144

exemplariasuntomni@reddit

It is horses only. I think we could make an exception for you.
View on Reddit #96723

gdmzhlzhiv@reddit

It's like Tinder but when they say they're hung like a horse, they're not kidding.
View on Reddit #111633

Kira-31415@reddit

https://xkcd.com/624/
View on Reddit #110060

grimonce@reddit

This is not such a bad idea, horses are bred and mixed for money, like dogs... Maybe there's some cash for grabbing here
View on Reddit #106730

MurkyContext201@reddit

https://www.countrylife.co.uk/out-and-about/sporting-country-pursuits/tinder-for-horses-new-global-stallions-app-launched-147585
View on Reddit #97302

damniticant@reddit

I knew this had to exist
View on Reddit #106401

UglyShithead5@reddit

https://www.adulthorsefinder.com already exists
View on Reddit #98092

LUV_2_BEAT_MY_MEAT@reddit

Bridle Showr
View on Reddit #97859

HateYouKillYou@reddit

So Tinder in Britain?
View on Reddit #95861

beasy4sheezy@reddit

Roasted
View on Reddit #97425

OsintOtter69@reddit

Tinder for horses would be a money maker man.
View on Reddit #95239

OrSomeSuch@reddit

But horse hooves can't swipe?
View on Reddit #96573

left_schwift@reddit

But my fingers can ;)
View on Reddit #96663

10lbCheeseBurger@reddit

Horse people got money to burn. I'd be down.
View on Reddit #95476

Anders_142536@reddit

Ride or slide
View on Reddit #95402

EuroPolice@reddit

Actually a good idea, you take a pic of your stallions and people can rent them to make mini animals with their desired specs. I want 15% of your company.
View on Reddit #94608

lacb1@reddit

I mean.... I'm not not interested.
View on Reddit #93774

Tsu_Dho_Namh@reddit

Pretty sure that exists already.
View on Reddit #93751

Xadith@reddit

Open AI: "hold my beer"
View on Reddit #114408

susjsjaixhxhdj@reddit

my guy on what planet is the client choosing the programming language?
View on Reddit #95464

AChristianAnarchist@reddit

On planets where your project isn't the only thing on that server.
View on Reddit #97875

susjsjaixhxhdj@reddit

something tells me Stacha’s friend doesn’t have an AWS account
View on Reddit #106996

CanAlwaysBeBetter@reddit

Now I'm sad remembering AWS already hasn't been keeping lambda runtimes up to date so I can't even pick my own language for backened and they just cut even more developers
View on Reddit #106201

Lakiw@reddit

Plenty of contracts where the client gets the source code for maintenance after the project is complete. These types of projects, the client almost certainly demand a certain language.
View on Reddit #98088

MySpaceEmoCat@reddit

This one, unfortunately
View on Reddit #96338

-RedditFuckingSucks-@reddit

Isn't that up to the person with the technical expertise to decide?
View on Reddit #103692

MySpaceEmoCat@reddit

Assuming your client does not have an ecosystem they want you to build that software for, or a team that you've been outsourced to work with
View on Reddit #106535

VitaminnCPP@reddit (OP)

What's your budget? 10% equity in my billion dollar app
View on Reddit #91359

Mateusz3010@reddit

I'm really interested in thought process of those who think that giving a vague one-line idea is worth 90% of the final product.
View on Reddit #92291

ka-knife@reddit

Honestly, if they are also providing initial funding, in charge of marketing, legal, and other administration; then I might be tempted. Assuming they already have a solid business plan with supporting market research.
View on Reddit #103780

Mateusz3010@reddit

Yeah but in most cases it's "I want you to make app" "What app" "Tinder for horses" "Any specifics?" "You're the programmer you should know" end of conversation.
View on Reddit #104113

jsalsman@reddit

Don't worry, they'll revise the spec plenty of times, especially after examining particularly difficult implementations of their previous instructins.
View on Reddit #94778

WorkFromHomeOffice@reddit

You will get payed in "exposure"
View on Reddit #98721

treycartier91@reddit

You're getting Lorem Ipsum. Because I love when clients get upset and say I did everything in Latin.
View on Reddit #96810

Moonkai2k@reddit

I got a very angry email a while back because a sample layout I did for a client had lorem ipsum placeholder text in several elements. The guy freaked out because we were developing the site in "spanish"...
View on Reddit #100553

qwqwqw@reddit

I mean. There are a bunch of people with legitimate needs for an app who wouldn't be able to answer "how big is it" or "what do you want me to code in?" If your MO as a developer is to ask (barely) technically questions and expect straightforward answers, then that's cool. But you'll be missing out on clients. When I did landscaping I would ask "what sort of hedge do you want?" And people would legit answer "oh - like... Trees?" - it was a good indicator of the follow up questions i needed to ask - but I wouldn't fault them for not knowing about plants. That's my speciality.
View on Reddit #99452

MySpaceEmoCat@reddit

Yes of course. I feel though stories like these are usually told to make fun of the kind of people who learn a buzzword and go around thinking theyve got everything figured out (cue any of Musk's tweets)
View on Reddit #99525

10art1@reddit

I prefer German. \*\*IT IS VERY STRICTLY TYPED\*\*
View on Reddit #97603

yxcv42@reddit

Reminds me of my aunt asking me to port some proprietary Windows-only app to her new MacOS....she literally looked shocked when I told her that's not something I'll do on my weekend and she should contact the company that supplies her with the software asking for a Mac version. Turns out she did that previously and got told that they do not support MacOS....that's why she asked me to "install" it for her anyways.
View on Reddit #118103

markdhughes@reddit

"Sure. Sketch out every screen and what actions to take on it." You will never hear from them again. Probably. When you get a 500-page design document written by an incoherent non-programmer, you'll have another problem.
View on Reddit #97115

_REXXER_@reddit

and then you feed it to our Lord and Saviour ChatGPT -> Profit
View on Reddit #117993

notKRIEEEG@reddit

But maybe also a job. If they went through that trouble they might be serious about it
View on Reddit #108262

Shadow9378@reddit

"an app" range: 'an app that plays a sound when you press a button' to 'i need an ai optimized custom built search engine by tomorrow'
View on Reddit #115511

Exce55um@reddit

Dos really programmers ask for the size at the go like this? Is not a better question what it supposes to do? Or on what platform. Either way as a professional in any field treat every potential client as they are like lobotomizes gerbils in your mind, assume they don’t know the most basic ting so long you don’t know the person; it is often the reason why they go to you instead solve the request them self. Create far less confusion and save some headache down the line.
View on Reddit #115047

bluebluegreen5@reddit

Time to ask my mech eng friends to build me a ferrari.
View on Reddit #114288

kodder@reddit

Reminds me of one time i got request to work and improve a website. I asked " in which language?" , I got "english" as a reply
View on Reddit #113028

Healthy-Upstairs-286@reddit

The answer to this is always “no”.
View on Reddit #112602

furbz1@reddit

If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me to *just make an app (or game)*, I‘d have the money to finance an hour of development.
View on Reddit #112525

Kurious_Guy18@reddit

oonga bunga moment...
View on Reddit #112497

HelpfulPuppydog@reddit

I get paid by the inch.
View on Reddit #112100

FrankHightower@reddit

"No I mean how complex?" "Oh, it's just one button" "What does it do?" "It takes a picture which--" "I'm out"
View on Reddit #95222

Horrific_Necktie@reddit

"Wait, no! It's easy. I just want it to tell me if the picture is if a cat or not"
View on Reddit #100036

sparant76@reddit

https://imageio.forbes.com/blogs-images/ianmorris/files/2017/05/Untitled-1-1200x1064.png?format=png&width=1200
View on Reddit #111884

GrumbusWumbus@reddit

We did this for a computer vision class in university. My buddy who was actually a programmer did 99% of the work and got it to have like a 70% success rate. My basically programming illiterate brain helped a bit with the PowerPoint.
View on Reddit #100893

Classic_Fungus@reddit

just use rand(left, rignt) and u'll get at least 50% correctness
View on Reddit #102083

DrakeFrost@reddit

Uncaught ReferenceError: rignt is not defined
View on Reddit #106378

FlyingQuokka@reddit

Yeah if the problem is literally a Boolean, a simple convolutional net will do it, given good data.
View on Reddit #102953

izybit@reddit

These days that's extremely easy. There's also a Reddit ad that does the classic xkcd which recognizes if it's a bird or not. The whole prototype takes literally a couple of minutes.
View on Reddit #103091

NotSpartacus@reddit

Not a hot dog?
View on Reddit #101588

Nephty23@reddit

it's a yes/no, easy idea right
View on Reddit #101145

birthdaycakefig@reddit

https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/1425:_Tasks
View on Reddit #104878

jmcampout@reddit

Imma head out
View on Reddit #98168

bobert_the_grey@reddit

![gif](giphy|L3bj6t3opdeNddYCyl)
View on Reddit #91999

Pain_Monster@reddit

“What kind of app?” “That’s the first step in developing an app!”
View on Reddit #94984

gdmzhlzhiv@reddit

That's a good thing to tattoo on your forehead, honestly. Either that or, "If you can read this, you're my optometrist."
View on Reddit #111708

Inflnite_Automata@reddit

I mean to be fair “how big is it” is a really vague question
View on Reddit #96325

jonny_wonny@reddit

6 inches
View on Reddit #98034

NGGJamie@reddit

At least 3.
View on Reddit #111611

Genids@reddit

That's gonna cost extra for going way oversized
View on Reddit #103229

RandyHoward@reddit

Agree, I would look at another developer funny if they said that to me. A more appropriate response is, "What does it need to do?"
View on Reddit #110245

-RedditFuckingSucks-@reddit

Yeah it's really weirdly phrased
View on Reddit #103739

The_catakist@reddit

That's what she said
View on Reddit #101758

posherspantspants@reddit

The answer to this question (can you make it) is always "no" without any further explanation
View on Reddit #94284

Zombiak307@reddit

You reply no because you don't want to make it. I reply no because I don't know how to make it. We are not the same
View on Reddit #95003

Poincare_Confection@reddit

It's not that hard. Once you agree to make the app, you just text your friend Dmitry and say that your friend needs an app.
View on Reddit #103702

NGGJamie@reddit

And Dmitry will hack something together with code from ChatGPT
View on Reddit #111556

CanAlwaysBeBetter@reddit

Congrats on inventing government contracting
View on Reddit #106247

posherspantspants@reddit

We're at least similar. I dont know how but I also don't want to
View on Reddit #95808

macness234@reddit

Good. We are finally evolving
View on Reddit #98907

Vegetable_Maize_6166@reddit

Based
View on Reddit #97469

Ganon2012@reddit

\*DO NOT DEVELOP MY APP\*
View on Reddit #102166

chili_ladder@reddit

I can make it, the average app takes 2 years to build my salary is 250k a year, but I'll give you a deal and take 60% of the app and only 1 year of salary. No one ever comes back asking for another app to be made :(
View on Reddit #100648

CaitaXD@reddit

Shure send me the specs, and I'll get back to you with the price and estimated time to develop.
View on Reddit #100441

jpritchard@reddit

If I had the time and energy to put into make an app I would make my ideas, not yours.
View on Reddit #96947

ForgotTheBogusName@reddit

Exactly the first thought. Or, send me the documentation you’ve written describing it. If it’s not worth their effort and a possible rejection, then it’s not worth mine.
View on Reddit #94319

Live-Astronaut989@reddit

This. Also include your hourly rate. You never know, one day someone might actually be willing to hire you and not be a beggar
View on Reddit #96883

Inside-Example-7010@reddit

Why cant I get rich with my idea/skills/capital? I represent a small fraction of what is necessary to create a new business venture. Whether that be the idea, the necessary skill-set to realise the product/service, or access to the required investment to begin making it a reality. Thinktank solves this problem by bringing all of these people together in the first of its kind social media app targeted for new ventures. Thinktank is a networking platform that brings people together. It does not handle money or accept associated responsibilities. Thinktank could be an app that benefits the creator of intellectual property by being an encrypted source of evidence when it comes to the conception of intellectual property and the dates and chat logs regarding it. Thinktank creates value out of nothing but ideas. It is not like Uber or a food delivery service where both the driver must be rented by the app and the client found by the app. Instead Thinktank takes people who have something with no current real value (the driver who we dont have to pay) and connects them with someone who together they can realise true value. To my awareness there have currently been two major fundraising websites/apps created which have both excelled. One is called gofundme which is a platform people can request donations from anyone on the internet for a variety of reasons however this is 99% used as a charitable foundation for individuals who have suffered heavily in the public eye. The other platform is kickstarter which is a website people can invest into game developers to finance a game that is in the earliest stages of development. It is my opinion that both of these enterprises have only seen a small fraction of an angle of this market and an app that sells the reality of connection to financial liberty would be extremely popular for a variety of people. People with no network can gain access to one and investors get to exploit fresh brains for money. Everybody on the platform wins and that's what brings its users.
View on Reddit #96490

kilokokol@reddit

"Hello electrician. My friend needs electricity. Can you wire it?" "Hello lawyer. My friend needs legal counsel. Can you win his case?" "Hello accountant. My friend needs a tax break. Can you hide his assets?" "Hello carpenter. My friend needs a project. Can you build it?" You see how stupid this looks with any other profession?
View on Reddit #111221

Draken010@reddit

"You need to go to a dev that makes smaller apps"
View on Reddit #110823

Exallium@reddit

"Sure. My day rate is $1000 and the app will take a bare minimum of one month and increase from there depending on complexity and maintenance requirements."
View on Reddit #94938

Varpie@reddit

I mean... That's realistic consultant costs, and you can't do much in less than a month. People don't realize how expensive software can be in the industry.
View on Reddit #100563

apathy-sofa@reddit

A rich acquaintance took me out to lunch to advise him on an app idea he had. Basically he wanted to take on the #2 website in the world, though he didn't put it in those terms. I walked him through the size and composition of the sort of organization required to prototype it, a super rough time investment, and then the salary norms for the roles. His reaction to the large sum: "What about just getting some college students?" That wasn't the first time I realized how simultaneously dumb and exploitive rich poorly can be, but it's maybe the most memorable.
View on Reddit #102379

geofox777@reddit

Hey, at least it’s not as crazy as if he wanted to take on the #1 website in the world
View on Reddit #110483

TheGABB@reddit

That’s actually pretty cheap if you were to ask a consultant to do this.
View on Reddit #101970

HateYouKillYou@reddit

Hey I bought you lunch that one time
View on Reddit #95887

UngratefulGarbage@reddit

![gif](giphy|L3bj6t3opdeNddYCyl)
View on Reddit #110444

RobinsonDickinson@reddit

What a vague question. You asking about her penis size?
View on Reddit #110393

cybermage@reddit

It’s wafer thin.
View on Reddit #109825

creepjax@reddit

Tbf “how big is it” is a pretty vague questions to someone that doesn’t know app development.
View on Reddit #109489

rem26_art@reddit

"programmers charge by the number of pixels, right?"
View on Reddit #92616

Saivia@reddit

I'll tell you what: I charge you one single grain of rice for the first pixel, two grains for the second, four for the third, eight for the fourth, and so on and so on.
View on Reddit #106899

rem26_art@reddit

now THAT'S how you make money! (or rice)
View on Reddit #109363

grandBBQninja@reddit

Charge by pixel and make the site infinite.
View on Reddit #92886

DownvoteEvangelist@reddit

I'm fine with normal iphone screen app and only a dolar per pixel rate...
View on Reddit #103646

dcgog@reddit

Get rich with this one simple trick ☝️
View on Reddit #100854

DmMacniel@reddit

Thats why there are soo many infinite scroll websites out there.
View on Reddit #94521

exemplariasuntomni@reddit

Actually, they were charging by the page and had cheap clients.
View on Reddit #96754

L8n1ght@reddit

more like Pixel density * screen space
View on Reddit #97521

opum123@reddit

Yes, that will be 20K or 0.01 per pixel.
View on Reddit #97304

GuiGeeKang@reddit

Why would anyone charge by any number that isn't time? Even thee trucking industry is pushing back against the whole "by time" pay.
View on Reddit #93807

lucidludic@reddit

To make a [million dollars](https://wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Million_Dollar_Homepage) and pay for university.
View on Reddit #95774

telecaster95@reddit

Cuz you can drag out a job to take longer than needed
View on Reddit #95161

GuiGeeKang@reddit

That is the benefit.
View on Reddit #95189

AzoresBall@reddit

Besause it is a joke
View on Reddit #94479

honkatoke@reddit

All 8 bit images are 8k resolution. Any images less than 4k are not compatible with the site as is But yes I charge per pixel. Because yes a website is similar to a tile foor
View on Reddit #94547

siralmasy@reddit

Laughed way too much to this
View on Reddit #109222

-brownchicken-@reddit

I have encountered a few of these instances, my question is what exactly should the equity division look like? Say for a moderately complex webapp that talks to a db, have dedicated apis for public use, consists of 10-15 pages or more etc?
View on Reddit #92293

tyler1128@reddit

It's almost always "work for me for free, but once we all get rich, you can have x% of the profit". It also usually never makes a profit.
View on Reddit #93123

Megasteel32@reddit

it never gets off the ground in the first place. I refuse to believe an actual app has ever been developed from a conversation like this.
View on Reddit #95836

Naitra@reddit

If their idea had merit, they could've easily gotten a VC throwing money at them to build it. Considering kind of shit tier companies VCs have funded so far, the idea has to be true garbage to not even get couple of hundred k thrown at it.
View on Reddit #99567

Poincare_Confection@reddit

Easily? Seems to me that nearly all the software companies that succeeded in the past two decades were started by people who can program, which this texter clearly can't. Only exception that comes to mind is League of Legends, but I believe that even they could program a bit.
View on Reddit #103802

MetaCommando@reddit

Some of them were the programmers for OG Dota. It was a nasty breakup to say the least.
View on Reddit #108824

IndianaJoenz@reddit

Well... Sure, maybe, if they are in that world. The average person has no idea how to get VC investment.
View on Reddit #101249

Megasteel32@reddit

and thank god for that
View on Reddit #101330

unconventional_gamer@reddit

Does Facebook count?
View on Reddit #103324

Beautiful-Lobster943@reddit

Up to $4/hour you bet
View on Reddit #92878

furmanman@reddit

Is it just me or was the question weird in the first place? What does the person mean by “how big is it?”
View on Reddit #108371

jordanbtucker@reddit

Asking about size is a dumb question. Just ask what the purpose of the app would be and judge for yourself.
View on Reddit #94997

kirjavva@reddit

"It's a simple app with buttons."
View on Reddit #95510

Ditto_B@reddit

"Okay, I'll need $1000 per button"
View on Reddit #95992

redballooon@reddit

Sounds like a good deal to me
View on Reddit #97224

notKRIEEEG@reddit

Fair enough! I'll get you the meanest spreadsheet ever!
View on Reddit #108318

AlexanderDaychilde@reddit

That's already a better answer than you'd get with "How big is it". Obviously, the followup is "What should the app *do*", which is what should have been the question in the first place. Of course, my answer to the initial question (as many others) would have been "no". End of conversation. lol
View on Reddit #99341

ydoiwantreddit@reddit

What should the app do? It's an app, you know? It does app things!
View on Reddit #100550

gophergun@reddit

I'm not even really clear on the correct response to that question. Would it be in lines of code? Megabytes?
View on Reddit #97183

gonzo0815@reddit

Meters
View on Reddit #100421

Eiim@reddit

Liters
View on Reddit #105790

gonzo0815@reddit

Yeah. As funny as the answer is, what do you expect a person who doesn't know anything about programming to respond?
View on Reddit #100279

devilishloki@reddit

Yeah what kind of question is that? It’s just weird 😂
View on Reddit #99249

sweetcuppingcakes@reddit

Which is why it’s fake
View on Reddit #98028

NorskSkrei@reddit

15MB. I mean, who is the joke here? Wtf kind of question is "how big is it?" for an app? How "big" it is depends on how shitty code you write. How complex it is depends on the requested features and specs.
View on Reddit #108256

weters@reddit

Reminds me of a joke. Kid walks into a lumber store and asks for a 2x4. The worker asks “how long do you need it?” Kid responds “we need it for a long time, we’re building a garage.”
View on Reddit #96200

oneonethousandone@reddit

Lol that's good shit
View on Reddit #107070

grimonce@reddit

Why didn't he ask chat gpt, I heard it's pretty good at coding :v
View on Reddit #106746

johnlewisdesign@reddit

Plagiarised from a poor screenshot from 15 yrs ago that I still see most days . Golf clap.
View on Reddit #105837

JustARandomWoof@reddit

I don't get the joke :(
View on Reddit #105501

burnblue@reddit

Well "how big is it" is where this turned dumb, innit How were they supposed to answer that?
View on Reddit #105378

mikedensem@reddit

I once had a client ask if I could build their website in black & white to make it cheaper!
View on Reddit #105287

nothing_bizarre_here@reddit

my apps are always 9 inchs by 7 inchs
View on Reddit #105160

ChaliceForOne@reddit

Same level of detail I get for a spec at work!
View on Reddit #103851

Affectionate_Mix_302@reddit

That will save so much money rather than splurging for a tablet size app
View on Reddit #103778

finalaccountforreal@reddit

Not the mobile phone, silly! How big is your friend?
View on Reddit #103593

Noisycarlos@reddit

I thought he was going to answer 200lbs or something
View on Reddit #103121

ChefGuapo@reddit

So many idiots in this world
View on Reddit #102944

Big_Job_1491@reddit

I weigh my code in ounces
View on Reddit #102885

dllimport@reddit

I mean I figure you already know this but he probably just means how big is the project not how physically large do you want the app?
View on Reddit #102701

PixelatedPanda1@reddit

>Yeah! Phone sized phone apps are actually my specialty!
View on Reddit #102080

Sak_casualSoftie@reddit

Nightmare fuel
View on Reddit #101994

disappointed_moose@reddit

I kid you not, 15 years ago during my first job I had a client complain that we ripped him off because his friend also had a website made by us and the compared the invoices and found out that they both paid the same amount, but the website o f his friend was 2cm wider than his, and clearly he should pay less than his friend because he got less website
View on Reddit #101851

Moose_Human@reddit

“I have a labrador.”
View on Reddit #101825

MaybeACoder007@reddit

I actually had someone want me to code a game they liked from the early 00s for them as a mobile app. They said they would pay me $3 per level I coded or them and they said they “knew they were overpaying me” Like WTF.
View on Reddit #101801

m1rrari@reddit

That’s too small. I don’t have the manual dexterity needed for making things like that. Now… a widescreen monitor app
View on Reddit #101621

MT_Flesch@reddit

1080x2460 is kinda smallish i guess
View on Reddit #101500

newontheblock99@reddit

Get all the information and send back an app that opens to a white screen that says “scaled to fit normal mobile phone screen” and does nothing else. This is my ignorant ass not knowing how much effort that would take.
View on Reddit #100935

alex_dlc@reddit

How would you answer that though?
View on Reddit #100922

omninode@reddit

To be fair, I have idea what “how big is it” means.
View on Reddit #100640

GitHub-@reddit

No I mean how big is the paycheck
View on Reddit #100619

hoopbag33@reddit

Well thats a dumb fucking question to a non developer. What did you think they were going to say?
View on Reddit #97615

gonzo0815@reddit

It's like asking a mechanic to repair your car and his response is: "How long will it take?" Well how am I supposed to know? You are the mechanic.
View on Reddit #100355

IGotSkills@reddit

I'm sure gathering requirements will go great
View on Reddit #100276

Manic_Marketer@reddit

Lemme guess, they want you to do it for exposure and equity.
View on Reddit #100209

dzakadzak@reddit

effort measured by sigh's
View on Reddit #100032

Soft-Intern-7608@reddit

This sounds like it'll be a great client and very easy to work with /s
View on Reddit #100005

CW_Waster@reddit

Asking "how big?" is the same level of stupidity. What even were you expecting as an answer? Filesize in megabytes?
View on Reddit #99977

Darkness_Overcoming@reddit

If Leslie Nielsen was alive today and don't call me surly.
View on Reddit #99938

literallymetaphoric@reddit

I don't know what kind of answer you expected a tech illiterate person to give when asked "How big is it?"
View on Reddit #99930

danofrhs@reddit

Lel
View on Reddit #99727

dashrendar2112@reddit

Requirements. Check.
View on Reddit #99508

cipherSoreEyes@reddit

Not too big, not too small, something medium sized to fit in nicely with the others.
View on Reddit #99488

mrbubbles916@reddit

What kind of question is "how big is it" though? Wouldn't you want to ask "what is it" instead?
View on Reddit #99407

iloveuranus@reddit

I charge by the pixel.
View on Reddit #94638

Sartheris@reddit

Long ago I gave up trying to come up with an original comment. At this point I am convinced we all share the same one brain cell.
View on Reddit #98722

AlexanderDaychilde@reddit

And yet, even that comment is unique: https://imgur.com/a/lfDjscY Google hasn't indexed this thread yet, but it'll probably pop up in an hour or two as the sole result if you put that all in quotes. :)
View on Reddit #99287

NGVHACKER@reddit

dont call yourself unoriginal if you actually came up with that line and then saw others using it.
View on Reddit #98901

AlgorithmicPost@reddit

💀mf described a infinite amount of possibilities
View on Reddit #98835

aar2you@reddit

You even bothered to recreate this stolen meme!
View on Reddit #92908

sweetcuppingcakes@reddit

I thought it was odd the first question wasn’t “what kind of app?” Asking about the size is bizarre
View on Reddit #98001

Furyful_Fawful@reddit

I interpreted it as asking size of scope, like how involved is it but regardless, a bad way to phrase the question
View on Reddit #98698

Negative-Manner-6978@reddit

i lol'd
View on Reddit #98396

Matrixneo42@reddit

Be very literal about the design of the app then. No side screens. No Scrolling. No hidden things becoming visible or invisible again.
View on Reddit #98333

MKEYFORREAL@reddit

Every pixel 1 dollar
View on Reddit #98313

Aegonblackfyre22@reddit

This is why we still need programmers. Imagine this would be what it’s like how end users talk to ChatGPT.
View on Reddit #98144

MANITOBA_MOM_69@reddit

Tip Calculator - IN IMAX 3D.
View on Reddit #98113

sweetcuppingcakes@reddit

I don’t understand how so many smart, analytical people think this could be real. If it was, asking “how big is it?” as the first question would be even more ridiculous than the answer
View on Reddit #98102

beclops@reddit

Isn’t this just a verbatim copy of that website meme that gets posted here a million times a month except for mobile?
View on Reddit #97228

jpritchard@reddit

"Oh you do computer stuff? I have this idea for an app..." "no."
View on Reddit #96885

SenatorCrabHat@reddit

\*cries in mobile web dev\*
View on Reddit #96865

earthspaceman@reddit

Can multiple users have access to it at the same time?
View on Reddit #96752

Arnas_Z@reddit

Is that the liquid damage theme?
View on Reddit #96611

SymmetricStrangelet@reddit

r/technicallythetruth
View on Reddit #96474

JR2502@reddit

Yep. Larger screen = more code. =D
View on Reddit #96415

SomethingIWontRegret@reddit

Guy at Home depot: I need some 4 by 2s Home Depot employee: Sure thing. How long? Guy: Let me check with my boss... He says a long time - we're building a house.
View on Reddit #96329

KilgoreTroutPfc@reddit

Change your phone number.
View on Reddit #96146

EsMuyBuenoSi@reddit

Such a strange post.
View on Reddit #96051

extrachromes@reddit

to make it normal phone screen sized that would require an additional 1k anything else ?
View on Reddit #95937

Laicure@reddit

well, r/technicallythetruth
View on Reddit #95004

Derekthemindsculptor@reddit

Reminds me when my aunt told me she was paying some guy to develop an app for her. I asked her what language. English
View on Reddit #94978

ShadowShedinja@reddit

r/technicallythetruth
View on Reddit #94977

-Redstoneboi-@reddit

"Hi <friend>. My labor needs money. Can you pay it?"
View on Reddit #94933

Exallium@reddit

"Sure. My day rate is $1000 and the app will take a bare minimum of one month and increase from there depending on complexity and maintenance requirements."
View on Reddit #94932

ResourceFeeling3298@reddit

Just make a PC app that dedaults to the size of the average phone screen
View on Reddit #94917

absolut666@reddit

He meant how big is the EXPOSURE
View on Reddit #94910

EuroPolice@reddit

"Well, he's hella buff, I'd say an XXL, but maybe bigger"
View on Reddit #94552

NoYogurt8022@reddit

can u make a app for me it should be 1920 x 1080
View on Reddit #94519

scottccote@reddit

Cost is inverse to screen size
View on Reddit #94213

Uzzer_lozer19@reddit

![gif](giphy|13HgwGsXF0aiGY|downsized)
View on Reddit #94005

HiroshiramaSendjew@reddit

Ask him about how much he can pay me for adding a textbox and a button?
View on Reddit #93852

gauerrrr@reddit

Sorry, I can only make it 70"
View on Reddit #93481