What do you think would make cute baby names if they didn't mean what they meant?

Lee Evans had a hilarious skit about a posh mother calling her daughter in for tea (called Clamydia). [Apologies for the low quality](https://youtu.be/FcjZbDJFDa0?si=j3zGrbDPNQfaxW-c)

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spinning_planet_boi@reddit

you took the words from my mouth

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YchYFi@reddit

I have a book where Chlamydia is a character. She was called Chlamydia Love. Was made into a short series. https://m.imdb.com/title/tt4409912/?ref_=nm_flmg_c_20_act

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JoeyJoeC@reddit

Apologies for the quality. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcjZbDJFDa0

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PurrPaul@reddit

Mons(ieur) Pubis, delighted to meet you!

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I’d like to see the return of some old names that are no longer used, like Dick as an abbreviation of Richard, and Fanny which is a name of French origin meaning “free”. Free Fanny would be lovely, and Dick and Fanny would be nice names for a couple. “Have you heard? Dick and Fanny are engaged!” “Really? I knew Dick was into Fanny so I’m not surprised, they make a lovely couple, they were made for each other”.

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Lumpy-Spinach-6607@reddit

Dick and Fanny already exist! In Enid Blyton's Magic Faraway Tree

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doofcustard@reddit

Legionella

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Lumpy-Spinach-6607@reddit

Legonella for a girl whose destined to get into studying a STEM subject. Mummy chose it and by God, is that girl getting there whether she wants to or not..

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Pharmaco_man@reddit

Bukake

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Lumpy-Spinach-6607@reddit

Cadmium - for a strong, warrior of a boy

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Pazuzuspecker@reddit

Frenulum.

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Illustrious-Motor595@reddit

Dementia always sounds like a posh girl’s name to me.

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crystalstarling@reddit

Have you seen Adams Family Values? There's a good scene in it where two characters meet - "Dementia! What a beautiful name" "It means insanity" "My name's Fester. It means to rot" It's what immediately came to mind when I read this question!

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Illustrious-Motor595@reddit

Yes! I haven’t seen that film for ages and had forgotten about that scene!

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idontlikemondays321@reddit

Rubella Astra

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Brian-Kellett@reddit

Melena. (Medical word for the sticky, stinky black tar like poo you get from bleeding into your intestine)

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a_paulling@reddit

I know a Candida :/

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Fatbeau@reddit

I used to go to school with a Melina Jo.

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littlechicken23@reddit

Also - Melanoma (a type of tumour I think?)

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spinning_planet_boi@reddit

yeah, it's a type of skin cancer

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Brian-Kellett@reddit

Yep, and yep.

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callisstaa@reddit

Relatively popular name as well in a lot of parts of the world, especially if you include melina/malena etc

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Brian-Kellett@reddit

Yeah, I knew a nurse called it. It was… odd considering we were dealing with melena in our patients.

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AliceKatharine@reddit

Felony

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citeursauces@reddit

Anomia. Aphasia.

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AutisticCorvid@reddit

When I first heard the song 'Tsunami' by the Manic Street Preachers I thought it was a name, and thought it sounded pretty!

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Beanruz@reddit

I know someone with that surname.

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AutisticCorvid@reddit

Interesting - are they British?

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Beanruz@reddit

Well born here, but his parents (I know her) I don't know if they were 1st or 2nd generation immigrants.

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DaveBeBad@reddit

There are 84 Tsunamis in the world apparently!

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AutisticCorvid@reddit

My husband has suggested we get another cat next year...I think I have the name sorted now!

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CarpeCyprinidae@reddit

TunaMeow

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BeesInATeacup@reddit (OP)

It would probably be fitting as well

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No_Priority_1839@reddit

Candida

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OkSpirit7891@reddit

I knew an American lady with this name!

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Icy-Revolution1706@reddit

I have a cousin with that name. We wondered if it was pronounced differently. Nope...

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SquidsAlien@reddit

Spuduliké

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Icy-Revolution1706@reddit

Or Frogmella

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Equivalent_Parking_8@reddit

Exotic..

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techbear72@reddit

Only if you don’t have the most boring topping; mashed potato.

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DeadYen@reddit

Serving suggestion: more potato.

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wildgoldchai@reddit

I was never one for jacket potatoes but always wanted one from spudulike. Sad they’re gone now

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Scared_Fortune_1178@reddit

Melena.

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Non-Combatant@reddit

I saw a clip of a comedian or something who said they overheard someone calling on their daughter and had to double take, it could well be BS but it fits the Q. Treblinka.

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ovine_aviation@reddit

OPs question immediately made me think of the movie Top Secret! for some reason. Croissant, Soufflé, Escargot, Chocolate Mousse, Déjà Vu and Latrine.

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AlbaTejas@reddit

Aphasia was used in the TV show Glee

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Numerous_Landscape99@reddit

Dave!

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TheMalsh@reddit

Fanny is quite popular considering.

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moon-bouquet@reddit

Short for Frances, apparently!

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Leader_Bee@reddit

Fanny Schmeller

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CarpeCyprinidae@reddit

And her friend, Dick Tingeler

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Perseus73@reddit

Fanny is VERY popular.

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Jaikus@reddit

My stepmother's grandmothers maiden name was Squelch. He great aunty was called Fanny.

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callisstaa@reddit

Ya cannae call her that!

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LahmiaTheVampire@reddit

Lamia. Being a baby eating snake monster doesn’t help.

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Sad-Debt-4365@reddit

Syphilis

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jimbo8083@reddit

Phlegm

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batty_61@reddit

Spirogyra. It's an algae.

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Clever_Username_467@reddit

Incontinentia

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batty_61@reddit

Incontinentia Buttocks?

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helen2353@reddit

Malaria is the hill I’m willing to die on!

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knityourownlentils@reddit

“Field” is quite pretty for a girl. Or “Artemia” which means brine shrimp.

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prustage@reddit

Vagina

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InverseRatio@reddit

Vagina Hurts

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turkishhousefan@reddit

Yamero

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MrHlk2020@reddit

Lucifer

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InverseRatio@reddit

It means lightbringer, so...

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shutupspanish@reddit

This was my thought too, what a lovely name for a baby boy

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InverseRatio@reddit

Vas, short for Vas Deferens

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SongsAboutGhosts@reddit

Quinoa. Meringue. Claret.

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_Buttered_bread_@reddit

I've always loved Lucifer

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cmdrxander@reddit

Labia, Urethra, Climax. Loosely similar in terms of the sounds they use to names like Olivia, Aretha and Max.

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cheerupsleepyg@reddit

If I ever have a son I'm calling him Max and will tell people it's short for climax

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soepvorksoepvork@reddit

I am sure my wife would say Climax is short for Anticlimax

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CarpeCyprinidae@reddit

Auntie Climax?

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Grouchy_Judgment8927@reddit

There's a stripper called Labia Mirage in an old film called Roadside Prophets. So easy on the ears!

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BlackEyedSceva@reddit

Zero sounds cool to me. But last time I mentioned everyone balked at me. But there's an actor named Zero Mostel.

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wildassedguess@reddit

Clitoria.

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Apprehensive-Pie5701@reddit

Pipette

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Perseus73@reddit

That’s one of my daughter’s nicknames.

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MajorHotLips@reddit

Last time this was posted I believe one of the top suggestions was "Omelette"

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DeadYen@reddit

Oh-mer-lettie

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7ootles@reddit

Latrina.

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AmarilloMike@reddit

Robin Hood: Men in Tights has a character called Latrine!! Though, the family did change their name a couple of generations earlier...

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upside-down58008@reddit

There is/was a pornstar called Veruca James, I wonder if she got it from Roald Dahl and didn't realise how off putting that name is meant to be.

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Barnagain@reddit

Chyme's a lovely name...

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Wonderful-Fishing857@reddit

I used to work with someone called Candida.

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Matttthhhhhhhhhhh@reddit

Covid.

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InfiniteGoatse@reddit

Asbestos is a cool name.

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ALi_K_501@reddit

You have Faith, Hope and Charity, but never Promiscuity

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Jaikus@reddit

No, but Discworld has someone called Beastiality Carter

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ALi_K_501@reddit

Always nice to one in the wild.

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Furious_vanguard3105@reddit

Belly

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MercatorLondon@reddit

Enema and Clyster Bonjela and Triptan

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spinning_planet_boi@reddit

So many greek medical names would sound pretty if they didn't mean horrible diseases. Leukaemia and Edema come to mind

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littlechicken23@reddit

Chlorella

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BrightPinkSea@reddit

Areola

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MahatmaAndhi@reddit

Melanoma

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cloche_du_fromage@reddit

Lilette

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ClevelandWomble@reddit

Booberella

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theocrats@reddit

Anthrax

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Leader_Bee@reddit

reminds me of this post in another Subreddit:  [https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/comments/17bhylb/congratz\_on\_the\_newborn\_dutch\_couple\_names\_their/](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/comments/17bhylb/congratz_on_the_newborn_dutch_couple_names_their/)

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166535788@reddit

(P)Neumonia

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