Was she implying i look like I’ve used drugs?

Posted by Key-Cardiologist5882@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 24 comments

I work in schools doing preventative sessions with young people about drug dealing, weapons misuse, gang involvement etc. Today, I did a session in a school about drug dealing (specifically selling crack cocaine and heroin) which I’ve got personal experience in. I let the kids know I’ve got experience and have been to prison for dealing crack and heroin. After the session, a kid came up to me and asked if I’d ever used the drugs. Before I could answer, a teacher close by said “that’s very personal. What I will say is people make choices”. Now to me, I can’t see any other option than that being her implying that I have used drugs. This has really made me feel terrible as I don’t want people to look at my face and think I’m a drug addict/ex drug addict. I’d hate that. I feel really fucked up over it. I just want some ideas? What do you think? It’s made me want to curl up into a ball and completely shut away from the world. I’m really upset over it. Despite this, please be brutally honest. I’d love to hear your opinions/ideas.

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24 Comments

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SloightlyOnTheHuh@reddit

I'm a teacher. Kids often ask if you have ever done drugs. The answer is always "that's personal and we don't discuss personal stuff". If you say no they think you're lying, and obviously yes would get lots more questions. We don't discuss personal stuff makes them go away fastest. Of course you can always answer honestly but that's a whole can of worms you just opened. Popular questions from kids: are you gay? did you ever smoke weed? did you ever do anal? have you ever been arrested? They want to know about you, some of them want to try to embarrass you. The best thing is to just not play.

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scifisam2020@reddit

The teacher probably did assume you'd done drugs - given what you were there to talk about, I assume that too, and I can't even see you. I mean, I could well be wrong, but it's a reasonable assumption. It is a personal question, though. I think most former users would have been happy to answer it, but it's not wrong of the teacher to give you the option of not opening up about that part of your life unless you really wanted to. TBH I think it would have been better to let you control the conversation; did you feel blindsided or upset by the question, and that might have showed? If you did, then that would be the part of your looks that the teacher was responding to. I know it's easy to say from here, but there really isn't anything in what the teacher did that indicates she thought you look like a user. Also, well done for putting yourself out there to try to help the next generation - kudos to you, dude.

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chinese-newspaper@reddit

It's not as shameful as being a crack dealer

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Key-Cardiologist5882@reddit (OP)

Thanks for answering my question. What a big help you’ve been ☺️

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AtticusTheDragon@reddit

No fr you should be much more ashamed of being a pusher. The fact you seem proud to go round schools telling children you were a pusher but would be horrified at the fact they would assume you used them too is pretty fked up.

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Key-Cardiologist5882@reddit (OP)

Thank you for your contribution

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chinese-newspaper@reddit

You are welcome

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FuzzyPapaya85@reddit

I feel like her response was two different things - “that’s personal” - so shutting down the question so you didn’t have to answer and “people make choices” - prompting the kid to think about what you’ve said and to make the smart choice to *not* take drugs. On the face of it I wouldn’t assume she was talking about how you looked. Unless she was giving you the side eye and said it sarcastically. I’m sure you look fine though. Try not to worry about it.

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Flat-Pomegranate-328@reddit

Teacher clearly was taking the moral high ground 😂 they specialise in such passive aggressive comments. But genuinely, I’d really not be bothered about what some random geography teacher might think of you, especially is you are over 18 Don’t get sucked into that weird teacher pupil vacuum

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0lliebro@reddit

Maybe it’s changed, but whenever we had talks like that at school, it was someone that had been there already. Like prison Mike.

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Seabeak@reddit

Teachers are generally helpful and protective rather than snidy or judgemental. They will have been protecting and looking after both you and the kid. Maybe having a (lady) teacher protect you from a kid felt a bit off to you. Especially if it wasn't the sort of lady who would generally come to your aid. Status (in it's many guises) is a big thing for many people and this would have switched things up and fucked with your head. You have come a long way that you feel bad about being thought of as a drug user, but maybe not as far as you could by accepting help from someone who maybe you would feel more comfortable protecting, than being protected by? As you were 'at work' it maybe felt like being undermined too. Probably a lot of things and none. I'd not dwell on it and just move on. Even if she was (I doubt it) an awful judgemental old bag, meh, it is what it is. Move onwards and upwards. 👊

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seriousrikk@reddit

I would say the teacher was not saying you *looked* like you did drugs. But they make an assumpion - correctly or not - that someone who has been a dealer has also used the product. I guess on that front there isn't much you can do other than include details about that either in the session or to the teachers. Anyone who has never had experience with narcotics had no real basis for what is correct or not other than tv & media.

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Cyanopicacooki@reddit

I think it was more in case you had used drugs and were either incapable of lying or hadn't used drugs, but like me, always look guilty when asked a question like this - a simple deflection to prevent embarassment and awkwardness.

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SerpensPorcus@reddit

Nothing to do with your looks, teacher was giving you an 'out' in case you didn't want to answer the kid's question think they were trying to be helpful

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NTF_AD@reddit

The ones that’s come to our school are always a wee bit f*ed up looking from all the years of abuse. She could be asking you that because you *don’t* look like one though.

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GlitteringLizard@reddit

You told them you have experience in dealing crack so why would it be a huge leap to assume you also tried it? I think you read too much into it.

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Key-Cardiologist5882@reddit (OP)

This is true. I think I’m just super self conscious and sometimes I feel like I look like a drug addict, especially when I’m extra tired, like today. I guess she just sent my insecurities into overdrive. Thank you for your answer

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GlitteringLizard@reddit

If you're brave enough to talk about your past selling them why let them asking questions like that hold you back? You've done the hard part. They're going to ask. That's why they have someone going in to teach them. Because they don't know.

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Key-Cardiologist5882@reddit (OP)

Thank you by the way, I appreciate what you said about bravery etc.

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GlitteringLizard@reddit

No worries!

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Key-Cardiologist5882@reddit (OP)

Definitely. It wasn’t the fact he asked the question that was the problem, as I’ve been asked that many times by different students in different schools and I understand why they ask. It was purely the fact that the teacher said “that’s very personal, people make choices”. Just made it seem like she was saying “yeah, he has taken drugs”. That’s the part that threw me, not the actual question it self

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GlitteringLizard@reddit

I mean they probably did assume but not because of your looks, because of what you were there to do. I'd probably have assumed the same. But I think they might have been trying to help you and misjudged with their comment.

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GoOriolesGo@reddit

I think she is saving you from looking like a hypocrite.

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