What's your favourite way of calling someone stupid without swearing?

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Bamrock@reddit

Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you’ll find a brain back there.

I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you.

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Ok-Champion-559@reddit

Thank for your comment, it worked like a charm!

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Callietheyardcat@reddit

lol my mom used to say this to us when we were teenagers

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That_Z28_Guy@reddit

An old friend's dad used to say "If brains were gas, you wouldn't have enough gas to power a piss-ant's motorcycle around the inside of a rolling Cheerio. " I've used it for close to 20 years now.

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The_Undercover_Fox@reddit

"(blank) is as dense as a neutron star."

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jackbarbelfisherman@reddit

Gotta point out that it's room temperature in Celcius and not Fahrenheit too

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Joosh93@reddit

If someone is using fahrenheit, they have room temperature IQ anyway..

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mathcampbell@reddit

Nah nobody uses Fahrenheit cept the yanks

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TrashbatLondon@reddit

Room temp in farenheit is 68-74, so it still works.

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AshFraxinusEps@reddit

The only time where F is better. As if you have an IQ of 80 ish then you wouldn't be able to spell your own name. Having one of 60 I think means you are in a near vegetative state

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Ravenser_Odd@reddit

21C is a normal room temperature in Celsius, so it's a pretty brutal insult in the UK!

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AshFraxinusEps@reddit

The point is though if you had an IQ of 60, you'd probably be bedridden, unable to speak or write or anything. 140 is MENSA. 100 is the average. 60 means anti-MENSA

You'd die at about IQ 50. IQ 21 is essentially impossible

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turtleltrut@reddit

I know this is old but that's not correct. 60 is about 3rd grade level intelligence.

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SetBatonsToWomp@reddit

"You are perhaps the only person on the face of the earth who could fail an IQ test"

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Turbulent_Willow_455@reddit

Wisdom has been trying to catch up with you, but your always three steps ahead

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JAM3S_H0PW000D@reddit

The wheels turning but the hamster is dead

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Skyla_B1rD@reddit

Did your brain fall out of the sidewalk you slept on last night?

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PomegranateFun4535@reddit

“Your parents must’ve poured paint in your cereal”

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ikhnos@reddit

I like using that with Americans. They have no idea how much they've just been insulted.

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That's not any different than when a southerner starts a sentence with "god bless your heart" that phrase is like taking morphine before the roasting of a lifetime. Some people are too dense and take it as a compliment 🤣

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connorgrant20@reddit

In the south it's the old " bless their heart" is the insult or what ensues before the insult

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ClusterFoxtrotUck@reddit

“The light is burning but nobody’s home.”

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aphrobrisiac@reddit

You fell off the stupid tree & hit every branch on the way down.

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Lucky-Panda-1979@reddit

The hamster wheel is running, but the hamster is d*ad

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eviltoe101@reddit

You have 2 braincells left and there fighting for 3rd

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exhaggerated_imagine@reddit

You are an apocalyptic dingleberry- James May

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Apprehensive-Age-102@reddit

I am yet to see an insult that beats this, I know this is a year old but still

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PricePopular5821@reddit

I really need to call my mom

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kaleb88072007@reddit

he downs

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Callsign_Crossroads@reddit

Plank, Pleb, Spanner and Plonker are some of my favourites

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fuck_peeps_not_sheep@reddit

Also see spoon, tool, wet wipe, twonk and twit

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SmellyfourSkin@reddit

Room temperature IQ 🤦🤣

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Vance2pants@reddit

Wisdom is chasing you, but you are faster.

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Komplex39@reddit

I came up with the phrase "Not an Intellectual rainbow" last year

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FTNKing@reddit

"hes not digging himself a deeper hole, hes eating the shovel."

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ElementalSentimental@reddit

Not the sharpest spoon in the drawer.

Used that once and someone said "But spoons aren't sharp..."

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RGC658@reddit

I've never heard it said with 'spoon'. Normally 'not the sharpest tool in the box' or 'not the Knife in the draw'.

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further_information@reddit

Consider butchering the metaphor further:

'Not the sharpest fish in the barrel.'

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Affectionate_Shoe158@reddit

Not the sharpest fish in the chandelier.

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psychic_london@reddit

“Muppet” conveys pretty serious contempt while also being family friendly

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ClaritySam@reddit

I got in trouble with HR for calling my friend a muppet on the company internal social media app. It’s “Against our policy of equity and inclusion” apparently 🙄🙄🙄

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CriticalCentimeter@reddit

from a HR perspective, its not really OK to use any form of derogatory language to describe anybody.

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xdragonteethstory@reddit

Yea you could get told off for using any word in an understandably "angry" "targeted" or "aggressive" way

YOU MEDIUM PRESS OLIVE OIL BOTTLE

YOU GRAPE EATER

MATTRESS SLEEPER

of course all of these insults are made better by slipping the word cunt in there somewhere.

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Affectionate_Shoe158@reddit

A former cow-orker of mine used to use the term "sandal wearer"

Taken from the science fiction Darkover novels, by Marion Zimmer Bradley. The people on that planet despised tourists and people who wore sandals, because the climate was harsh, so the term became one implying utter stupidity.

Once, when particularly peeved at an attorney who was giving our office trouble, she growled "His BRAIN wears sandals!!"

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