Partners who split up but still live together?

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Civil-Koala-8899@reddit

Times are hard at the moment and I know a few people who’ve broken up but are still living together because it’s so much more expensive to rent by yourself, and it takes time to find a new flatshare. It may be completely innocent.

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Guilty_Struggle_6089@reddit (OP)

Thanks. That makes sense. I just struggle to get my head around the logistics side of things. So they still spli Bills and food etc but just not share a bed?

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cifala@reddit

Some people have extremely amicable break ups. Maybe they drifted into feeling more like friends and both were happy to end it

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godoflemmings@reddit

That was the case with me and my housemate. 7 year relationship ended with little more than a two minute conversation. It was actually a relief in the end.

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NixiieNee@reddit

My housemate os also my ex! We dated for like a year or so and have lived together for 5. She's my best friend, we just didn't work as partners.

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Civil-Koala-8899@reddit

You’d have to ask them that, how would I know how they manage things?

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jaymatthewbee@reddit

It’s fairly common for a separated couple to live together in separate rooms until one or the other can move out.

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sbos_@reddit

It’s not normal at all. It’s only Reddit tryna normalise weird things. I always bring to back to housing. it’s actually the result of lack of homes and poor wage growth. So many people running into relationships to buy a home together. People dating just to find someone to move in with an enjoy the extras. It’s a mess.

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sbos_@reddit

😭😂 modern day dating and relationships in U.K. is just wild to me.

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Adanar01@reddit

"Straight away I think he must have been a cuck" What the fuck...

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daz1987@reddit

I have no idea... 🤷‍♂️

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Scarred_fish@reddit

I hope OP's 'girlfriend' figured out he was dodgy as fast as anyone reading this post!

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d15p05abl3@reddit

A lot of time online, methinks.

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Little-Comfortable26@reddit

I have a friend who's still living with their ex 3 years post breakup, they both have new partners, they're not amicable AT ALL, but can't come to an agreement over the house and my friend can't afford to move out without moving at least an hour away from their kids, which they aren't willing to do. There can be any number of reasons that people still live with their ex, especially in the current financial climate. If you find it too weird... well... nobody's forcing you to date her. I'm not sure if I'd be ok with it but I do understand why it might be necessary.

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KangaKoko@reddit

I'm one of these people. It's just so damn expensive right now to rent, and it's so competitive to secure somewhere that it's been months since we broke up and I'm still not out. Fortunately we have separate beds, but it's tough. I'd love to date, but feel it's too awkward.

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BertieBus@reddit

If they are living in separate rooms then id be less concerned than if it's clear they are sharing the same bed. Could be a mix of financially not able to move, tried into a contract, or that they actually get on as friends, but a relationship didn't work.

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Guilty_Struggle_6089@reddit (OP)

Thanks i wasn’t sure if they still shared a bed there were No tell tale signs of it being a “female only” bedroom

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anabsentfriend@reddit

I'm just looking round my bedroom, I'm not sure it looks 'female only' (it is). What would you expect to see?

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Guilty_Struggle_6089@reddit (OP)

Men stuff. Watches on the side table. Men’s deodorant /aftershave on the sides

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anabsentfriend@reddit

Ah, OK, so it was more that there were 'male things' in the room rather than a lack of 'female things'? Does seem a bit odd to have 'male' branded deodorant and a watch in the room if it's her private space, although women often wear mens watches. The deodorant could also be used by both.

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kittysparkled@reddit

Yeah I'm a woman and I use deodorants marketed towards men. They work better for my sweaty sweaty pits.

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malewifemichaelmyers@reddit

I can say that my male bedroom doesn't have any of that lol.

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Askduds@reddit

I’m a man and my bathroom has none of hothouse things. Do people normally store their watches in a bathroom or something?

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godoflemmings@reddit

That's the case with me - it's just not practical for us to sell the house just yet for a number of reasons, financial included. Thankfully it was an amicable breakup and we bought a 4 bedroom, three storey house, so we've each got plenty of our own space. Had zero issues.

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Witch_of_Dunwich@reddit

Really don’t think OP knows what a cuck is. Stay off the internet OP. It’s not doing you any good.

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Theres3ofMe@reddit

I've lived with my ex for 2 years now. Long story but mainly financial /credit score /health reasons why I haven't moved yet. We are like the best of mates, trust him with my life - he's like a brother. Have slept in separate beds for over 2 years and neither of us have been dating. Life is tough out there with cost of living crisis, job insecurity and rising rents - so I never judge anyone who is in my boat, as it is much cheaper to share than live alone. Don't get me wrong, I can't wait to get my own place and start a new life, but circumstances currently make that unattainable. You don't have to continue sering her if you don't want to. It's all down to trust and whether you're comfortable with her set up.

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Jlaw118@reddit

I’ve known it be the case with a few people, where they typically agree to split up but they still have a house to pay for until they either sell their home and/or find somewhere else to live. Knew a girl in my last job who’d moved into the loft bedroom whilst the property was on the market and awaiting a sale. And the girl who just bought my apartment was living with her partner whilst going through the process of buying mine for herself. They’d agreed to sell their home and then each going through the process of buying their own separate ones. But obviously these things take a lot of time

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BabaYagasDopple@reddit

Nah it happens. My ex and I can’t afford to move, ended amicably enough. We poured money in to our house so we’re keeping it until either of us move on/ can afford to sell up.

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Guilty_Struggle_6089@reddit (OP)

Do you still see other people etc?

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BabaYagasDopple@reddit

The agreement is just don’t bring people back. Everyone will have their own like, boundaries.

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AtebYngNghymraeg@reddit

My ex and I had this setup for a couple of years. We'd bought a house together, split up on largely good terms, but had three years left on our fixed rate mortgage and neither could afford to sell and move right then so we continued to live together but obviously in different bedrooms. She got a new boyfriend who stayed over sometimes and the three of us just behaved like housemates. He and I were not the sort who'd be friends, but we'd say hi and be generally pleasant to each other. It wasn't ideal, but there wasn't anything odd going on either.

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ClogsInBronteland@reddit

When I divorced my ex we had to live in the same house for a few months. It happens.

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2023mustgo@reddit

My main advice to you is to stop frequenting the bits of the internet that use the word ‘cuck’.

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Jellyfishtaxidriver@reddit

My girlfriend and I split up for a period last year that seemed like it would be permanent. We had 9 months left on our tenancy agreement. Neither one of us could afford to live on our own. We had separate rooms. It happens

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ChocolateSnowflake@reddit

It happens. My friend and her husband separated and continued living tiger for 8 months until he could buy her out and she could get her current home. He got a new girlfriend in that time and she and my friend are now very good friends themselves.

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Tarja36@reddit

My now husband was living with his ex and another housemate when we met. They had separate bedrooms and she had a boyfriend and it was on the whole fine if a bit awkward for me (I think she felt uncomfortable around me so came across quite rude but it doesn't read like you'll have that problem)

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Nervous-Toe-6779@reddit

It’s possible these things do happen

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bornleverpuller85@reddit

One of my colleagues is still living with her soon to be ex husband and kids. Solicitors have told them both not to leave the house because it will ruin their claims.

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