Does your death scare you? If so, why?

Posted by ManInTheDarkSuit@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 503 comments

My wife and I had a discussion about death and being scared of it. I'm personally not afraid of death, I know it's going to happen one day, and I can't stop it happening. The only thing that worries me is how my wife and kids are going to feel. I lost my dad when I was young, and losing him never left me. I know it's going to be horrible for my kids, but I'm just not worried about it beyond that. Am I feeling something common? From talks with people at work, they all seem to have fears about dying but not for my reasons. It seems just that they're really scared of dying. I'm a bloke who's recently turned 40, so no death soon if I don't suffer a catastrophic accident.

Reply to Post

Reply

503 Comments

[-]

bizarrexstar@reddit

Life is scary for everyone in my opinion

Reply

[-]

ABARTHISTA@reddit

Death doesn't scare, the process of dying most definitely does.

Reply

[-]

LaraH39@reddit

Am uncle of mine died the best way possible last year. Difficult for his wife, but perfect nonetheless. They went on holiday. A few days in they got up early and went out on a boat. It stopped somewhere remote and they got lunch from another wee boat selling fish and crabs. Got back had a swim in the pool and a cocktail and both decided to have a lie down before dinner and he never woke up. A perfect, happy day with the woman he had loved for 40 odd years. Went to sleep and passed peacefully. I would wish that death for us all.

Reply

[-]

Commodontious@reddit

A distant American relative of mine has lost her son and husband suddenly in the last decade. Both named Steve weirdly. Her son committed suicide out of nowhere, he just disappeared and was discovered dead, he was like 20 years old. Few years later, her husband went to sleep one day and didn't wake up the next morning. Both of those have haunted her for years, but I know which one of those affects her more. I imagine waking up and finding your husband dead is a harrowing experience, but nothing compared to finding your son swinging from a ceiling fan.

Reply

[-]

Gotholithicgirl@reddit

Omg. What a nightmare. Losing a son could be the worst thing and finding him in that way!

Reply

[-]

LaraH39@reddit

Jesus that poor woman.

Reply

[-]

SpeakingRussianDrunk@reddit

Unless he was having a nightmare whilst he died?

Reply

[-]

LaraH39@reddit

What is wrong with you?

Reply

[-]

SpeakingRussianDrunk@reddit

It was just an idea? I was just saying you don’t know that he died peacefully? When I feel pain in real life whilst sleeping it translates into my dream…if he had a heart attack or brain aneurysm etc he would likely of dreamt he was being stabbed or something of the like? No need to stress it might not of been the case!

Reply

[-]

LaraH39@reddit

Jesus christ. Brain aneurism happens so fast very few people even have time to know something is wrong. It's like a bullet to the head. As for a massive heart attack again. Most people are dead before they know it. Why would you think telling someone that a loved one may have died in pain and fear was a suitable comment to make? You need to have a serious word with yourself.

Reply

[-]

SpeakingRussianDrunk@reddit

It’s only your uncle I wouldn’t of said anything if it was your dad or something

Reply

[-]

LaraH39@reddit

Do you think I'm the only one reading your answers? As for "only" my uncle... You've no idea what my relationship with him was. People are sharing difficult experiences. You need to think before you speak.

Reply

[-]

SpeakingRussianDrunk@reddit

I’m good g

Reply

[-]

Wells_91@reddit

Were you drunk when you wrote all this by any chance?

Reply

[-]

LaraH39@reddit

You're really not.

Reply

[-]

WerewolfNo890@reddit

My partner has told me I am not allowed to die first.

Reply

[-]

SoftandSquidgy@reddit

Mine told me that too and I kind of agree with him because I hate the thought of him grieving me. I know how heartbroken I’d be if he went, but I feel I could cope better. He panicked one time when I fainted after injuring myself, because he genuinely thought I was dying. I’ll never forget the fear in his voice or the look on the face when I came too while he was on the phone with the emergency services. I don’t want to do that to him again.

Reply

[-]

LaraH39@reddit

I've been told the same, but I feel that way too.

Reply

[-]

LoudComplex0692@reddit

My dad passed away one morning in his sleep, my mum was doing the crossword in bed next to him, and it was a couple of days after a family weekend away for a wedding where we had beautiful weather and lots of quality time with all his children and siblings. Awful for everyone left behind, but just what he’d have wanted.

Reply

[-]

LaraH39@reddit

It's so hard for those left behind and I'm sorry for your loss. I sat with my dad in hospital while he died. It was such a small death for a man I thought of as a giant. Watching him get weak and not know us... Its not a memory I cherish. I'm glad your dad got to live life to his end.

Reply

[-]

LoudComplex0692@reddit

Thank you, it was only a few weeks ago and your words have brought me a lot of comfort. I’m sorry your dad suffered, I hope you can find comfort in happier memories with him.

Reply

[-]

LaraH39@reddit

Thank you for you kind words. I'm getting there. It's been two years now and this year we (mum, my sister and brother and I) all went out for lunch on his birthday and told dad stories. That helped a lot. I've lots of good memories, I just kinda need that one to fade a bit. I'm so glad you have other family and loved ones to lean on. It's really helped me. I'm sure you will all help each other x

Reply

[-]

Random_Nobody1991@reddit

My Granddad went in a similar way. His wife (he was widowed and remarried some years after my grandmother died) went to the shops to get some things. Came back, and he had passed away in his armchair. He was going on 90 at the time, but he had no serious health issues. He had even cleaned his wife’s shoes as they were about to go out and see some of her family. The Coroner came back and said he had a heart attack and would have been dead before he knew it. A good way for him to go, but sad nobody got to say goodbye and have a final experience with him.

Reply

[-]

LaraH39@reddit

Isn't it weird how some deaths are both good and bad? Taking comfort from the speed and lack of awareness and sadness from not being able to say goodbye. The emotions are always complicated.

Reply

[-]

Random_Nobody1991@reddit

Yes, it was hard to process despite his advanced age and those thoughts do crop up in the back of your mind, but it was just out of the blue. In fact my wife and I were planning to go and see them a few weeks down the line (they lived several hours drive from us)which made it even more gutting. That said though, he got to see his great-grandchildren, his grandchildren get married and that most of his children had done well for themselves.

Reply

[-]

LaraH39@reddit

And clearly had family and a wife that loved him. It's not a bad legacy.

Reply

[-]

Adept-Confusion8047@reddit

My grandad died in the middle of the Xmas night. Had a big day with the family, dinner, told us a bunch of stories and then went to bed and never woke up. Boxing day was shit, but, can't ask for a much better death.

Reply

[-]

HipHopRandomer@reddit

I remember last year my dad (who I wasn’t really talking to at the time) got me and my brothers round for a chat. Grandad was absolutely riddled in cancer and he was informing us that he would be lucky if he saw Christmas Day. He gave us a choice to either visit grandad and say goodbye, or remember him for who he was before he got sick. I decided to visit him and it hit me like a sledgehammer. This man who I once viewed as a giant, who used to give me sips of his Fosters when I was a kid, was completely unrecognisable to me. He lost so much weight you could see his ribs through his t shirt. His skin was stretched and thin, he couldn’t talk and he was mostly asleep with the occasional fearful noise being made to which we would comfort him. I remember it was late and it was just me and my Nan in the room with him. I held his hand and said my goodbyes, saying we’d meet again some day. I remember going home to my girlfriend and breaking down into floods of tears for the first time in years. I wept and wept and wept until no more tears came out, he died 3 days later, a week before Christmas. It wasn’t a very merry Christmas at all, but he’s at peace now and I’m happy he’s not suffering in a hospital bed. Worth giving respect to the Royal Navy Benevolent Trust who cared for him in his final weeks and allowed us to stay around the clock as much as we needed, even past visiting hours. Truly a remarkable charity.

Reply

[-]

LaraH39@reddit

That must have been incredibly difficult. Do you think you made the right choice even so? Seeing my dad the way he was was hard, I don't like the memories and I wish my final memories of him were of him were better, but I'm glad I was there for him.

Reply

[-]

HipHopRandomer@reddit

Yeah I think I did make the right call to be honest. It’s definitely up there as one of the most emotionally challenging things I’ve had to do, and I’m not overly in touch with my emotions as it is. Would I do it again knowing what it’d be like? In a heartbeat and without hesitation. There are millions of people that don’t get the luxury of saying goodbye to their loved ones, so I’m glad I took the opportunity to say goodbye and tell him I loved him; and although he wasn’t awake I’d like to think he heard me say it.

Reply

[-]

LaraH39@reddit

Christ. ❤️

Reply

[-]

tinabambinaa@reddit

The bible discusses life and death and I’d encourage you to read it. There is a heaven and hell. There is a God who is a creator. We’re created by Him but have free will and the choice. The choice is to understand who he is and draw near to Him, or continue living in ignorance and your own wisdom. The way to draw near to Him is to confess that you’re not perfect in your own ways whether through sins, mistakes & ask him to come into your life. This is Jesus, He is the one to confess anything to and ask Him into your life.

Reply

[-]

7ootles@reddit

"Preach the Gospel at all times, and use words when necessary." You seem to have missed that latter part. People didn't come here to be preached at, and most of them have heard the Gospel already. They just came to talk about their feelings.

Reply

[-]

ratttertintattertins@reddit

I’m not afraid death, I’m a little bit scared of the dying process but what actually really scares me is what will happen to my family when I’m no longer able to protect them. My wife and son are both terribly ill prepared for life without me and I don’t want to be on my death bed wondering what will become of them.

Reply

[-]

willsagainSQ@reddit

Could you do a little to prepare them in what they're lacking?

Reply

[-]

ratttertintattertins@reddit

I’m trying my damndest, but my son’s autistic and my wife suffers with pretty challenging mental health issues. It’s one of those situations were you can’t push too hard.

Reply

[-]

willsagainSQ@reddit

That's really challenging, I would that I had some practical suggestions to make, but can think of nothing. You've probably already thought of enquiring with relevant charities for advice on what to do if the worst comes to the worst.

Reply

[-]

kackers643259@reddit

Yeah this is it, being dead I don't care, any way of actually going other than instantly being crushed by a hundred ton weight sounds pretty bad

Reply

[-]

Biffa_Bacons_Fatha@reddit

A heroin overdose might not be too bad. Also inhaling laughing gas without oxygen. Not that I've looked into it, of course 😉. The government needs to, but won't legalise assisted suicide. Disgusting that humans have to suffer against their will.

Reply

[-]

Jane1943@reddit

Inhaling nitrogen is apparently an instant and painless death.

Reply

[-]

Cold_Power_7217@reddit

As someone who’s studied it as well heroin overdose is going to be my go to

Reply

[-]

petrastales@reddit

Why is a heroin overdose a good way to go?

Reply

[-]

Biffa_Bacons_Fatha@reddit

I'm sure there is a better explanation out there but to put it briefly, you will get very, very high, fall asleep, and never wake up. It's a very powerful sedative / pain killer.

Reply

[-]

Lopsided_Ad_3853@reddit

Yep. It must feel pretty great considering how many people ruin their lives for it. Plus it slows your body down so much you basically just stop breathing, not that you'd know it. Sounds great to me.

Reply

[-]

petrastales@reddit

I wonder if that’s just how it seems to us because the muscles are paralysed, but in reality it’s torturous for the person internally?

Reply

[-]

Biffa_Bacons_Fatha@reddit

I guess the way to find out is to ask a user of it who was resuscitated? My understanding is though that the feeling is actually very pleasant, and ultimately you will just lose consciousness and that'll be that. Obviously there's not many dead people you can ask, but that'd be my method. They essentially do the same to terminal patients now using morphine (a purified, medical version of heroin).

Reply

[-]

petrastales@reddit

I just looked at a resource [online](https://www.addictionresource.net/heroin/overdose/painful/) which says Signs of a heroin overdose include: shallow breathing *gasping for air* pale skin bluish lips and/or fingertips weak pulse confusion or disorientation *nausea and/or vomiting* *spasms or seizures* difficulty staying awake or loss of consciousness Hmm I wonder if the symptoms I’ve put in italics occur before or after losing consciousness

Reply

[-]

Biffa_Bacons_Fatha@reddit

This link may provide some insights: https://www.quora.com/Is-heroin-overdose-a-peaceful-death

Reply

[-]

hoksworthwipple@reddit

Probably money in it for someone.

Reply

[-]

Commodontious@reddit

If I knew now that my death would happen in an instant and I'd never know about it, I'd feel way more comfortable about it. The idea of being ill long term and wasting away in front of my loved ones or even completely alone is what fucks with me. I think I have health anxiety, if that's a thing. The idea of me being sick plays on my mind all the time, if I got a serious illness, I'd jump in a river with some concrete boots on. Death itself isn't scary, dying is.

Reply

[-]

realmofconfusion@reddit

Most men don’t fear death. They fear those things – the knife, the shipwreck, the illness, the bomb – which precede, by microseconds if you’re lucky, and many years if you’re not, the moment of death. – Terry Pratchett (Shaking Hands With Death)

Reply

[-]

Gullflyinghigh@reddit

Same here, if I'm instantly gone and with no awareness then...yeah, ok, shit for those left behind but I'm beyond caring at that point. The other side of that being something similar to witnessing my Dad's last moments last year, he was aware up to the end (or at least very close) even if not capable of speech for the final bits and the wondering how he must have felt or thought in those last minutes has haunted me for nearly a year now, because he would've known it was coming and heard us around him. Nope. Fuck all of that.

Reply

[-]

QC420_@reddit

Ik not really similar, and I’m sorry to hear about your dad, but the thought of being aware that it’s happening is terrifying. The thing that gets me the most is sort of similar to lucid dreaming, you can have this awesome dream, maybe there’s a load of people from your childhood there too, but lots of times when I become lucid i always end up thinking ‘oh fuck this isn’t real’ and getting quite sad. And I always think what if that’s what it’s like after death?? Like what if heaven is real, or there’s some kind of paradise, but you’re aware that it isn’t real and you’re dead?!

Reply

[-]

dollarfrom15c@reddit

If it helps, people who have "died" and been revived all say that their final moments were blissful, like drifting off into the most restful, deep sleep imaginable. One guy said that the worst part was coming to terms with the fact he'd been revived as in his last moments he was so at peace that he had no wish to keep on living.

Reply

[-]

a13zz@reddit

Pain yo

Reply

[-]

King_Bonio@reddit

That's the bit I'm most excited for, it sounds amazing, the actual end of my play through is the more difficult part for me

Reply

[-]

AlrightTrig@reddit

You trying to sound edgy? What about the process of dying sounds amazing?

Reply

[-]

King_Bonio@reddit

Absolutely not, from accounts of people having near death experiences, it's unlike anything you'll experience in life. There was an episode of House where some junky kid accidentally temporarily killed himself and kept trying to find that high again, ended up not being revived and actually died. I'm interested by what if feels like, but I'm not going to pursue it.

Reply

[-]

VolcanicBear@reddit

Like all things I can experience in life, I too base my expectations of them on fiction TV shows.

Reply

[-]

SevenFor@reddit

Whish part of [this](https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJtEFWCY/) or [this](https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJtEDucH/) or [this](https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJtEAFCH/) are you particularly excited about?

Reply

[-]

ThrowRA_123456782002@reddit

Its weird for me sometimes i fear it sometimes i dont. The fear of nothingness is what scares me the most, though if i live to be old maybe my feelings will change. I also believe that if i lead a fullfilling life ill be ready to accept death when my time comes? Idk right now im 23 and scared shitless about it

Reply

[-]

smellyfeet25@reddit

i worry if the is anything after, i know i can never come back as i am, it drives me hysterical thinking about it

Reply

[-]

PeggyNoNotThatOne@reddit

Ideally I want to die at home, in my own bed, or at least at home. I'm less worried about being surrounded by my family, just going to bed and not waking up will be fine. I'm in my late sixties so I hope I've got a few more years left in me!

Reply

[-]

MissingScore777@reddit

Gonna go against the grain of comments here and say yes absolutely and completely. I genuinely can't think of anything worse than simply not existing. I'd rather suffer through the worst pain imaginable forever than cease to be. I can't comprehend the idea of not being bothered by it and I just don't understand how the majority can seemingly feel that way.

Reply

[-]

theNikolai@reddit

I think this is how most religions started out. Or at least how believing in the afterlife started out. People were terrified of nonexistence and so they invented whole complex lores about what happens after. I was never worried about my own ceasing to exist but I can see how it must feel terrifying and I'm sorry you feel that way.

Reply

[-]

Bright-Ostrich1832@reddit

An afterlife sounds like such a drag. I mean, I went through *that* and now I have to go through this *this*? Forever?

Reply

[-]

MissingScore777@reddit

Yeah I wish I could believe in an afterlife and be religious, I think it would help with my death anxiety. Unfortunately I'm as certain as you can be there's no God/afterlife. If only belief were a choice.

Reply

[-]

ComfortableTackle479@reddit

so basically you pick the life views which make you suffer and I'm sure there are some techniques to deal with anxiety for non-believers maybe you're the type who like to be hurt a bit?

Reply

[-]

MissingScore777@reddit

I don't pick my life views and beliefs, they are intrinsic to me and who I am. Wait, I always assumed the phrase 'choose to believe' was a misnomer, can some people actually choose what they believe??? I can't imagine a brain working that way!

Reply

[-]

Maester_Magus@reddit

I'm with you on this. I don't think its possible to choose what you believe, not really. As much as I'd love to believe that I'll see my dad again some day, I've never seen any evidence to suggest that this will be the case. In all likelihood there is nothing more to come.

Reply

[-]

Shep_vas_Normandy@reddit

I am glad I am not the only one who feels this way. I told my partner that I would rather be hooked up to machines for the rest of my life than die. I am not religious, I don’t believe in an afterlife and I sometimes wish I did because then I’d maybe not be so scared to die. But the idea of just not existing at all terrified me. And there is nothing we can really do about it - we won’t even know it’s happening. It’ll just be done and that’s it.

Reply

[-]

MissingScore777@reddit

Yep exactly the same. I keep quiet whenever I see the heavily pro-euthanasia discussions on Reddit. My own feeling is that I want to be kept alive as long as possible no matter how bad it gets and how little there is of me left. Nothing is worse than death, my belief in that statement as an absolute is unshakable.

Reply

[-]

Kcufasu@reddit

I mean I'm pro euthanasia because everyone should have a choice, but personally i never would use it, as you say, I'd far rather be alive no matter how bad it gets

Reply

[-]

MissingScore777@reddit

I'm not against euthanasia as such, I believe in people making their own choice too. I just hate how the conversation is framed. Lot of people saying "they wouldn't want to be alive". How do you know? Did you ask? In many cases they haven't and are projecting their own feelings. Makes me worried that the decision would be taken out of my hands one day.

Reply

[-]

GrandAsOwt@reddit

Do you have an advance directive? This is why you need one. You get to spell out, now, what you would like to happen various scenarios.

Reply

[-]

dollarfrom15c@reddit

I might say now that I don't want to be resuscitated but I've got no idea how I'd feel if I was actually having a heart attack. Maybe in the moment all I'd be thinking is "I don't want to die, I don't want to die" but because of my DNR request I'd have no chance of surviving. This is why those kind of things worry me - unless you know exactly how you'll feel in that situation, setting an advance directive on your future self is not really much different to someone else doing it for you. I am not the same person today as I will be in the future.

Reply

[-]

HarassedPatient@reddit

If it's any consolation resus generally doesn't work. Only 8% of people who've needed resuscitation live more than three days afterwards. So it really doesn't matter in most cases. And generally speaking most people asking for a refusal of resuscitation form are expecting to die pretty soon after.

Reply

[-]

GrandAsOwt@reddit

And even fewer than 8% come out neurologically intact. No resus for me, thank you.

Reply

[-]

HarassedPatient@reddit

I don't leave home without my DNR - If I was ever lucky enough to drop dead quickly and painlessly I really don't want some well meaning passer-by bringing me back so I could die again in a few days, but now painfully and slowly.

Reply

[-]

MissingScore777@reddit

Thank you for this.

Reply

[-]

Rough-Cheesecake-641@reddit

You'd rather have endless suffering than a permanent death? I agree that the thought of not existing is terrifying. A permanent sleep. But to have endless pain instead? That's just weird...

Reply

[-]

MissingScore777@reddit

Obviously it wouldn't be my 1st choice but yes I feel endless pain is better than ceasing to be. I'm aware I'm in a minority with this view.

Reply

[-]

KantsCritique@reddit

So you would prefer to experience debilitating pain so extreme and overwhelming you can't move or think or do anything else, forever, rather than die of old age?

Reply

[-]

IrishRoveress@reddit

To be fair, dying of old age is far more unpleasant than we think it is. Not that I can speak from personal experience of course. I've got my fingers crossed for a sudden massive heart attack in my mid 80s and a cut to black.

Reply

[-]

KantsCritique@reddit

Sure, but I think it's preferable than eternal torture

Reply

[-]

MissingScore777@reddit

From an admitted position of ignorance having never felt anything like that, I believe that I would.

Reply

[-]

KantsCritique@reddit

So you're saying you would rather be physically tortured for eternity? That's really quite weird I'm not going to lie

Reply

[-]

MissingScore777@reddit

Obviously it's not my 1st choice of type of immortality but that sums up how I feel yes.

Reply

[-]

KantsCritique@reddit

Would you rather be repeatedly skinned alive for eternity than die normally? I'm fascinated what your threshold is

Reply

[-]

Adept-Confusion8047@reddit

You know when Dr Strange has to relive his death a billion times to defeat whatever in whatever film it is lol...yeah, that'd be better then non existence to me. I agree with the person you're replying too

Reply

[-]

Rough-Cheesecake-641@reddit

You obviously live pain free at the moment. People suicide all the time due to physical and mental pain. I'm pretty sure you'd not want to permanently exist as just a brain in a jar (if your limbs were useless, let's say).

Reply

[-]

MissingScore777@reddit

It's hypothetical so you may be right. But I do feel more strongly than I feel about anything else that I would want to exist for as long as possible in any circumstances no matter how dire. I get your point that the reality of such a situation might change that but I'm stating what I believe and feel right now.

Reply

[-]

Rough-Cheesecake-641@reddit

Yeah I understand. The thought of not existing is indeed terrifying. If I could stay healthy and 25 years old forever I might indeed opt for that over death. But part of what makes life beautiful is its fleetingness.

Reply

[-]

ComfortableTackle479@reddit

Forever means that at some point you'll do everything possible in the universe. At that point it won't matter if you're dead or alive anymore cause nothing will ever change again.

Reply

[-]

Rough-Cheesecake-641@reddit

Haha, good point...

Reply

[-]

MissingScore777@reddit

I've never really agreed with that sentiment about beauty coming from it's short nature. I don't feel my appreciation for it would diminish if it were long. I guess we can't test that though and so there's no way to really know.

Reply

[-]

realmofconfusion@reddit

That is, and absolutely should be, your choice. But the flip side of that argument is that others who think differently should also be allowed to choose. I’ve watched two family members waste away into nothingness - it’s not pleasant. The person they are/were has long since gone and all that’s left is a shell. They’re not *them* any more. If I’m ever in a situation where I am in pain, can’t do anything for myself or with the assistance of others, can’t be ME, then what’s the point? I’d much rather not “be” any more and let my atoms be of use somewhere else if they aren’t of use to me any more. YMMV, but choice works both ways. If we have an animal that’s suffering, in pain, can’t enjoy life any more, we “do the right thing” by ending their suffering (and in doing so take away all of their pain and put it onto ourselves, as anyone who has had a beloved family pet put to sleep will attest). Why make a person with the ability to say “I’ve just had enough” go through this torment if they don’t want to? Yes, there need to be safeguards so that the elderly and vulnerable aren’t finished off early because it’s what the family want, or to get an inheritance, but as long as a person has made a clear choice and is not under duress (Coroners Courts would be an excellent place to make such determinations), why make them suffer when we treat animals more humanely. People always have and always will end their lives prematurely. Surely as a caring society we should first attempt to dissuade them of that thought, but if they really want to go through with it (after extensive checking and counselling), surely it’s better to help them do so in a painless manner, and without inflicting trauma on others (train drivers for example if someone walks out in front of a train), or the trauma that family members would have of discovering a suicide, that could be avoided if it were all open and discussed in advance - no more cases of “Why did they do it?”, something that can haunt the family members of those who have committed suicide.

Reply

[-]

Weird_Marketing8968@reddit

I truly hope that you never experienced agony. Many years ago I had a horrible accident. Amongst other things my leg was partially amputated just above the knee and was hanging on by the skin at the back. For the longest time I remained conscious and every time my severed quadriceps twitched I wished for a bullet in the head. After what felt like two lifetimes I started to feel sleepy as I bled out. It felt like bliss. Some women was shouting at me to stay awake and was pulling my eyelids open. She saved my life but I hated her. All I wanted to do was to fall asleep and die. Just minutes before I was young, fit, healthy and with everything to live for. Opinions can change in an instant.

Reply

[-]

robertodurian@reddit

If you’ve spent any time around people who are terminally ill I think you would have a different view. If you really believe what you say you have no idea what real pain & suffering are.

Reply

[-]

Ordinary-View-1980@reddit

This definitely. I’ve watched 2 ppl recently die , one on life support for more days than needed and one dying of a brain tumour in absolute agony at the end . As much love as I had for people would I want them to live another second of their life like that ? A hard NO

Reply

[-]

MissingScore777@reddit

Most people commenting the opposite have also never experienced 10/10 end of life pain. So regardless of the truth of what you say, I still clearly feel very differently on this topic than most people.

Reply

[-]

IrishRoveress@reddit

But isn't endless suffering the reason Hell is so feared? As a lazy person, if death is akin to a permanent sleep, that sounds to me.

Reply

[-]

Happy_Boy_29@reddit

I'd rather not watch TV for the last ten years o my life munching a mountain of foul pills everyday, until I become completely incapacitated, so that I could just sit/lie around and watch more.

Reply

[-]

petrastales@reddit

Why do you feel the need to keep quiet? I’m pro euthanasia personally and think we should all be given the choice, but it’s not an issue to hear people be in favour of the opposite for me

Reply

[-]

Queefofthenight@reddit

There are books written by doctors specifically about post death experiences their patients and others have had. There isn't any evidence that there isn't an afterlife and there is some evidence that there may be one.

Reply

[-]

ComfortableTackle479@reddit

There's no evidence of an afterlife as well as no afterlife. Afterlife is from the other domain by design, everything which is here is just life. The good news are, you don't need any proof to believe in what you want. That's super easy to pick the idea which seems nice and to believe in it without any evidence whatsoever.

Reply

[-]

Queefofthenight@reddit

I've experienced paranormal entities and know that the death of the body isn't the end. There are studies to validate the palliative experiences of patients. So there isn't currently evidence that can be peer reviewed. But that's the same for anything that has yet to be documented. Hence the hadron collider

Reply

[-]

ComfortableTackle479@reddit

I don’t say there is no other world or life or entities. But if they are truly other world you can not detect it. This can help you to just place anything you want to exist but can’t find in that other undetectable world and stop worrying about discovering it in this one.

Reply

[-]

Shep_vas_Normandy@reddit

I’ve actually read up about this - like a doctor who did some research where he placed an object out of view within a operating room and when the patient coded they could identify the object even though there was no way to see it (I think he was trying to prove the theory that people have outer body experiences when they die). It was obviously a small study population, but very interesting.

Reply

[-]

deafearuk@reddit

Or maybe our brains are just better than we think and there is no woo about it?

Reply

[-]

Queefofthenight@reddit

Southampton University Hospital palliative care team in the UK are currently undertaking a controlled study to see if they are able to gather data in similar circumstances.

Reply

[-]

monkey7431@reddit

There's no empirical evidence

Reply

[-]

Intrepid_Tie_8119@reddit

The mind makes up images that it finds comforting in the moments before death. As someone who has experienced death & been revived, first it’s the most unreal terror and panic with tunnel vision. Then I started hallucinating good memories & the family and friends I’d miss, I felt very calm. Then lights out, & I woke up in a hospital bed sore and bruised. NDE’s is just your brain pumping you full of drugs making you calm & hallucinations that align with what would make you happy as you die. That’s it tbh, and that’s why NDE’s are so different between people.

Reply

[-]

HipHopRandomer@reddit

As someone who’s not afraid of death; I couldn’t imagine anything worse than being forced to live hooked up to machines for the rest of my life. I can’t even imagine the depression it’d cause knowing I’d gone from a fully functioning ‘normal’ life, to being bedridden and hooked up to machines. Unable to walk in a country park or go outside, just trapped between four walls. Life is for living, and for me that isn’t any way to live. Parkinson’s and dementia is in my family on both sides too, so I’ve already told myself that if I ever get to that point I’d rather die than go through what I’ve seen two of my grandparents go through. I’d love to be a fly on the wall in the afterlife though, and I love the idea of reincarnation even though realistically it’s likely nothing more than a comfort for humans afraid of death.

Reply

[-]

blozzerg@reddit

I’m quite sad that the world will continue on and I’ll miss it. What am I going to miss out on? What tech? What disaster? What world first? What will we uncover beyond the universe? Will the world get better? Worse? I kinda hope there is an afterlife where you can just sit back and watch care free for eternity but in reality the world will probably just continue on a slow path of destruction for hundreds of years without me in it until it explodes or something and then nobody will be around to remember the roaring human era. It’ll all just begin again for the next million years.

Reply

[-]

Adventurous_Bid631@reddit

This is exactly my train of thought!

Reply

[-]

klc81@reddit

>I’m quite sad that the world will continue on and I’ll miss it. You could become a bond villain and set up nukes around the world with a detonator tied to your own heartbeat. Volcano base optional, but prefered.

Reply

[-]

Shep_vas_Normandy@reddit

I’d be happy being a ghost lol I don’t have strong opinions on an afterlife or anything since I think in a very evidence and science based way, but I also think there are things beyond our ability as humans to comprehend. So maybe we all do turn into ghosts and haunt our family and friends lol

Reply

[-]

blozzerg@reddit

I think there’s a potential for afterlife from a scientific point of view, I once read a theory about protons/neutrons/electrons etc and how our electric impulse can linger or something, hence the belief that ghosts are residual energy, it was all based on a molecular level fuck up so the tiny things that power us are left behind for some reason. If you think we know so much about atoms and molecules and their behaviour but what if there’s more yet to be discovered? Any paranormal stuff like that I would believe to be a scientific phenomenon rather than say a non physical spirit. I do think most ghost experiences can be written off with logical explanations such as visual/auditory hallucinations or temperature changes causing things to creek in the night, but every now and then there’s the odd one that makes no fucking sense. An acquaintance of mine has a poltergeist and thats bizarre, furniture being thrown around and things moving around, shadows caught on camera which can’t be replicated etc. They’re tried everything to explain it but it’s just too frequent and weird to the point they live in a caravan in the garden most nights now.

Reply

[-]

Shep_vas_Normandy@reddit

When you consider we all probably know at least one person who has has an experience in some way with ghosts it’s hard to say that every single person is wrong or it was in their head. It’s just hard sometimes to believe in something until you experience it yourself. I hope to one day get haunted 😁

Reply

[-]

generic-username9067@reddit

My wife feels the same - can you explain to me why? I struggle to understand it, and can't really empathise. I'm quite pragmatic and figure you can't stop it, and once it's done, that's it. Ricky Gervais has a good quote when asked about it, something like 'I'm not bothered about the thought of being dead because it will be exactly like the last 14 billion years of me not being alive either'. I'm not looking forward to *dying*, I'd rather go in my sleep or something than a horrible car crash or wasting disease, but the actual being dead bit won't really matter will it?

Reply

[-]

Shep_vas_Normandy@reddit

My partner doesn’t understand either and thinks the same way you do - once it’s done it’s done you can’t stop it so why worry? I tried to explain this in another comment, but it is difficult to explain. I sometimes think of the saying “Pain reminds us we are alive.” The fact we can have these conversations, our minds are working and we are thinking, we are existing. Regardless of who each of us are, where we are coming from, our life experiences. I love being alive, I am someone who has dealt with depression in the past and that gave me a glimpse in feeling like I wish I was dead, but I still come back to a feeling that being alive is so much better than not existing. I like my existence, I’m not important (outside of to my loved ones) and no one will remember me in 100 years, but today and hopefully tomorrow and longer *I* will know and experience what it is like to be alive.

Reply

[-]

Adept-Confusion8047@reddit

The last two sentences is why it bothers me so much i think. At some point, I'll just be dead. And will have no idea about anything ever again. No memories. No thoughts. Just...zap. no more.

Reply

[-]

petrastales@reddit

Wow, if you were to have limited awareness anymore, why is it that you would be comfortable being hooked up to machines, potentially in pain at times but incapable of communicating it to anyone?

Reply

[-]

stuaxe@reddit

I used to feel that way... but sometimes you go through enough shit to realise clawing onto life when the quality drops below a certain point... is not preferable to non-existence. The malaise one feels when their body can't do basic tasks and cognitively you don't have the brain power to put together complex thoughts, or enjoy more than a few minutes company... that's the sort of situation where there is unambiguously a preference; which is for the story to end.

Reply

[-]

Extreme_Warthog_6636@reddit

You didn't exist for eternity before you were conceived and born and you'll return to not existing for eternity. Was the time before you were born scary? This is why I don't understand people's fear of non-existence - there is, in the most literal way possible, nothing to fear.

Reply

[-]

MissingScore777@reddit

I've seen this one parroted a lot and I don't understand how it's the argument winner people seem to think it is? Yes I experienced absolutely nothing before I was born, it was the same as the oblivion that awaits after. But the point is that I'm alive now and able to think and realise there's nothing more terrifying than that. I'm not sure how "it's the same as before you were born" is any comfort? Like literally yes, that's the problem!

Reply

[-]

Extreme_Warthog_6636@reddit

The argument is that you've been in that situation before and it was fine, I guess. I mean how can pain be worse than nothingness? What is it that you love so much about existence? Your false sense of individuality and separateness from the world? The experience of piloting around a sack of meat, blood and bones? If you were saying "I'm scared of death because I have so much living to do" then fair enough, but it seems like you'd rather exist in the worst possible conditions than not exist at all and I can't fathom why that would be. What is so fantastic about existence in and of itself divorced from any of the benefits that result from existence?

Reply

[-]

Fiyenyaa@reddit

I don't think it's fair to say "you didn't exist before and it was fine" because it wasn't fine: it wasn't anything. Once I don't exist again, it won't matter to me because I won't be able to perceive it - but until that happens, the prospect of not existing at all is deeply terrifying on a fundamental level to me.

Reply

[-]

MissingScore777@reddit

I think we're just so far apart in mindset we're almost a different species. The fact you would question "what is so fantastic about existence in and of itself". I can't comprehend feeling this way, it's completely alien to me. Existence is fantastic because it is everything! There is nothing else. The absence is far, far worse to me than any form of the opposite. It feels so readily apparent to me, like there's no greater truth I know as confidently. That's why I feel like I almost don't have the same brain as someone with your mindset.

Reply

[-]

Extreme_Warthog_6636@reddit

Yeah and I'm just trying to understand. Bad existence is evidently worse than no existence to me, because negative is worse than 0 in terms of experience and that's absolutely obvious to me. How is suffering worse than nothingness? I've been able to give at least a vague explanation of why I feel the way I do but so far you haven't offered anything.

Reply

[-]

dollarfrom15c@reddit

You say negative is worse than 0 but that implies a relative scale. Think about it on an absolute scale for a second where 0 is the lowest you can go: - You would clearly put a life of extreme pain at 0 and non-existence at maybe a 1 or a 2 (let's also assume a full and good life is 100) - Me and the other guy would put non-existence at 0 and extreme pain at 1 or 2. Get it?

Reply

[-]

Shep_vas_Normandy@reddit

The thing is it is difficult to explain. I sometimes think of the saying “Pain reminds us we are alive.” The fact we can have these conversations, our minds are working and we are thinking, we are existing. Regardless of who each of us are, where we are coming from, our life experiences. I love being alive, I am someone who has dealt with depression in the past and that gave me a glimpse in feeling like I wish I was dead, but I still come back to a feeling that being alive is so much better than not existing. I like my existence, I’m not important (outside of to my loved ones) and no one will remember me in 100 years, but today and hopefully tomorrow and longer *I* will know and experience what it is like to be alive.

Reply

[-]

MissingScore777@reddit

I'm not sure what you want in terms of explanation? I've conveyed the strength of my feelings and what I believe. You seem to want me to present some kind of empirical data or maths to 'prove my point'? Is this what you're asking? I'm not sure such a thing exists when the debate is eternal torment or oblivion, which is worse? It's always going to come down to feelings and we don't have a great way to math those.

Reply

[-]

Extreme_Warthog_6636@reddit

I wasn't asking for maths, just an explanation beyond "existence is greater than non-existence because of course it is" but I guess you're not capable of expressing yourself further than that.

Reply

[-]

MissingScore777@reddit

Ah that's a shame. We were having a fairly spirited but polite back and forth but you've felt the need to resort to personal insults. How sad.

Reply

[-]

PinkSudoku13@reddit

>The fact you would question "what is so fantastic about existence in and of itself". I can't comprehend feeling this way, it's completely alien to me. I'm like you and existing is fantastic and I have had this conversation with people before. It turns out, that everything they couldn't understand what's so great about living, they were depressed and not diagnosed. It's just such a pessimistic outlook on life that it's difficult to comprehend.

Reply

[-]

dollarfrom15c@reddit

Yeah, it's gotta be either depression or they're just not thinking about it enough. I mean, I don't go through every day constantly thinking to myself "life is great! Everything is awesome!", but when you step back and actually consider it, being alive and just *existing* is pretty cool. And it's so, so much better than the alternative...

Reply

[-]

Rough-Cheesecake-641@reddit

Your first sentence isn't exactly true.

Reply

[-]

Extreme_Warthog_6636@reddit

Well actually you make a point. There was probably no you and no situation. Although I do like the idea that actually consciousness is like radio waves and when the body dies it's like a radio breaking - the radio waves are still transmitting it's just the receiver is gone, but there are plenty of other receivers still receiving universal consciousness.

Reply

[-]

Rough-Cheesecake-641@reddit

Interesting. Dabbled in psychs have we?

Reply

[-]

Extreme_Warthog_6636@reddit

Indeed. Not saying I believe that but that it's a nice thought, and as we don't really understand wtf consciousness is it's as reasonable a perspective as any. I do get the sense that we are all one and that individuality is an illusion.

Reply

[-]

Rough-Cheesecake-641@reddit

I agree, I have similar thoughts on acid. Not sure that I'd describe it as an illusion though. We are all stardust.

Reply

[-]

ComfortableTackle479@reddit

or maybe just the plain dust :)

Reply

[-]

Queefofthenight@reddit

We are just electrical impulses driving a meat vehicle.

Reply

[-]

PinkSudoku13@reddit

>The argument is that you've been in that situation before and it was fine, I guess. except that you weren't because before you didn't exist and didn't have the awareness of existing. Now you do and are faced with the end. It's a completely different situation. Awareness vs lack of awareness Your argument would only make sense if we had awareness while we were not existing which would kind of not be not existing anymore

Reply

[-]

keeponyrmeanside@reddit

I didn’t know what I was missing out on before I was born. Now I know what I’m leaving behind. Some of it is shit and painful, but much of life is beautiful beyond words. The idea of never seeing my kid’s smile again, or never smelling someone frying onions, or smelling rain on a hot summers day. I didn’t know any of this stuff before.

Reply

[-]

NutritiousTurtle@reddit

Most people are probably terrified as well. They just either don’t know it or won’t admit it. There’s this thing called terror management theory that Earnest Becker wrote about. He basically stated that everyone is so absolutely terrified of death that they do everything they can to not think about it and deny it. Relationships, work, friends, tv, holidays. Everything is just to distract and deny death.

Reply

[-]

MissingScore777@reddit

I definitely live my life like that. That theory describes me exactly.

Reply

[-]

wormwithamoustache@reddit

Same and I’ve read all the replies to your comment and the amount of people using the ‘you didn’t exist before you were born’ argument is amazing. I agree with you that that does not help. Although I had something of a reincarnation memory as a kid which gives me some hope. So did my sister. We both had strong ‘memories’ as small children of historical events (hers was ww2 while I felt a strong connection to ancient Egypt for some reason) I don’t really believe in afterlife exactly. And I’m sure the experience I had could be logically explained as some sort of weird brain thing like de ja vu. But the one thing I tell myself as comfort is that even if I don’t really believe it, no one ACTUALLY knows what happens when you die. No one actually knows if the soul exists on in some form to where you just don’t remember what it was before you were born. Holding on to this thought kind of helps, because if it turns out that there is nothing then I won’t ever know that for sure. So I can hold on to the hope that I’m wrong about there being nothing and try to reconcile with the fact I’ll never really know but at least hopefully there will be some form of ‘me’ that goes on existing later. I don’t know if this makes any sense.

Reply

[-]

PinkSudoku13@reddit

same and I am shocked at the amount of people just being okay with it. I'd love to exist for a long time, see what's happening, just be. The idea of not being is scary.

Reply

[-]

IrishRoveress@reddit

Yeah, the thought of not existing is unnerving and it's hard to wrap my head around the idea. On the other hand, prior to being born we weren't aware of our state of non-existence. I'm not sure how to articulate it, but I like to think that upon my death, another pair of eyes will open somewhere, confused, screaming etc. New life. Not mine, and with no idea of my experiences etc. but another manifestation of consciousness entering the world, in the same way that I did and experiencing awareness like I do now. Not "reincarnation" - that person won't be me - but a continuation of life, instead of an eternal black void.

Reply

[-]

Independent_Face7135@reddit

One thing to consider is that once you get past about 80, a lot of your friends & family are no longer going to be around.

Reply

[-]

louisejanecreations@reddit

Same. The idea and reality of dying and no longer existing is genuinely terrifying to me. I want to see what the future is and what changes are made and all the cool things that happen.

Reply

[-]

Chef_Fats@reddit

It’s the least scary thing I can imagine.

Reply

[-]

Vegetable-Program-37@reddit

Think of it this way: you’ve been there before, prior to your conception, and it was OK. Wasn’t it?

Reply

[-]

AssortedShortbread@reddit

Yeah I kind of forget about it then every now and again just get struck by the thought of 'oh shit I'm gonna die someday' and it's horrifying, always takes me a while to get out of those spirals.

Reply

[-]

MissingScore777@reddit

I had panic attacks about it a few years back and did a lot of work to stop my mind jumping to thinking about it every time I wasn't distracted. I probably shouldn't have engaged with this topic but it's something I have very strong feelings on.

Reply

[-]

ohnobobbins@reddit

What do you think about people like me, who feel pretty confident there is more after death? I used to be like you. Til I was middle aged. And half of the amazing, funny, brilliant people I knew had suddenly gone. Then I chose to believe, because there’s no proof either way, and life is so, so much more pleasant if you have blind faith that there must be more. The intellectual part of my brain acknowledges blind faith in something we simply don’t know about is illogical. And the emotional part makes the choice to believe. The actual logical choice is to make the human condition easier, and believing there is life after death is just that. You are living life on hard mode, and it is a philosophical choice.

Reply

[-]

MissingScore777@reddit

I wish I could believe as you do. It would make life easier and oblivion less terrifying. However belief for me is not a choice and it's completely bizarre and alien to me to hear you describe belief as a choice. My brain doesn't work like that. I either believe a thing or I don't. It's intrinsic and automatic, there's no choice involved.

Reply

[-]

ohnobobbins@reddit

I really hope you find some solace somehow. I lived life in full despair for a very long time (for various quite grim reasons) and something inside me broke, and it was all so mad that my brain went twang and I just… chose. I realised most humans live in a state of suspended disbelief a lot of the time and they seem really happy. There was no reason for me not to join in, compared to the alternative. Hope that explains it a bit.

Reply

[-]

Shep_vas_Normandy@reddit

Same - I have to turn my brain off to not think about it otherwise I feel this tightening in my chest. I know it’s pointless to think about, I can’t do anything about it, so why let it panic me? But I just can’t control the anxiety it gives me. Nothing else does that to me - everything else in the world can be avoided, but not this.

Reply

[-]

Adept-Confusion8047@reddit

That's why I smoke weed lol shuts up the thoughts.

Reply

[-]

ComfortableTackle479@reddit

Can you change the past? Part of your story is written and it's the part of the objective reality, it will stay there in that part of timespace forever, no matter what. Are you 100% happy with everything so far?

Reply

[-]

publicOwl@reddit

What did you find that helps? I regularly have panics about this so would be interested in calming them lol.

Reply

[-]

MissingScore777@reddit

Honestly just distraction. I'm working, I'm looking after the kids or I'm trying to do leisure activities that keep my mind occupied.

Reply

[-]

FugueItalienne@reddit

>I can't comprehend the idea of not being bothered by it and I just don't understand how the majority can seemingly feel that way. cos it's something that is absolutely certain to happen so you may as well come to terms with it

Reply

[-]

MissingScore777@reddit

Where is the switch that I flick to do that? We are emotional not logical creatures.

Reply

[-]

FugueItalienne@reddit

I think the switch might be located on a piece of blotting paper with 200ugs of LSD on it

Reply

[-]

MissingScore777@reddit

Haha! Not the 1st person to suggest something like that!

Reply

[-]

ViolettaNoRegard@reddit

I used to feel like you until I tried ayahuasca once, that was enough for me to completely calm down about all of that and realise it’s nothing to be scared of. I won’t say I absolutely know what happens when you die because obviously I was taking a drug and I could be wrong, but it definitely made me feel like I do kind of know and it made me not at all scared and also appreciate life more. From one time about 5 years ago. I would recommend it to anyone.

Reply

[-]

midnightrambler91@reddit

I'd rather suffer through the worst pain imaginable forever than cease to be. What? This is literally my everlasting nightmare that keeps me up at night. Not religious but this is basically the concept of going to Hell. Pain can reach some pretty extreme levels (probably, and luckily for me, quite unimaginable levels) and life can be prolonged quite unnaturally if someone really wanted to hurt you for a prolonged period of time. I can imagine a lot of living scenarios in a normal life where I'd want to die. Let alone literal eternity...

Reply

[-]

bowak@reddit

Being dead will feel exactly how not existing for the first 13ish billion of the years felt - you won't even know that you're dead. But suffering the worst pain imaginable forever? That's actual hell and I'm pretty sure you've change your mind quite quickly if you actually experienced it. Part of the point of not being bothered about it most of the time is because death is inevitable and so it's basically a waste of time to worry about actually being dead. Whereas dying is worth fearing and it's a good idea to try and dodge that for as long as it's feasible, whether through stuff as simple as taking proper care when crossing roads or as complex as eating the healthiest and most balanced diet you can.

Reply

[-]

dollarfrom15c@reddit

Talking about what is "worth worrying about" misses the point imo. For me (and maybe the OP), it's not that I'm worrying every day about death, it's that I find the idea of it objectively horrific. The fact that there is an inevitable end to my existence is just the saddest, most tragic thing and not thinking about it doesn't change that for me.

Reply

[-]

bowak@reddit

I think most of us think like that at some point, and possibly for quite a long time. It is definitely pretty horrific when you first really understand it, and it can be quite a shock if that realisation pops up out of your subconscious at a random time. By "not worth worrying about" what I mean is that if you think about it too much of the time then you will end up wasting time that you now know is even more precious. But if you're still horrified about it every now and then but otherwise don't think about it too often then that's fine. But I do think it is worth pondering that the end of one's own existence isn't actually the saddest, most tragic thing - to take an admittedly quite extreme angle, children being forced to work as slaves in mines is sadder and more tragic than my own death will be by quite some margin. We all have to be wary to not veer too far into solipsism.

Reply

[-]

Biffa_Bacons_Fatha@reddit

>I'd rather suffer through the worst pain imaginable forever than cease to be. Said by someone who has never experienced that sort of pain. No disrespect intended.

Reply

[-]

MissingScore777@reddit

I'm not offended. If you read some of my other comments/replies I acknowledge that I'm speaking from ignorance. However many of the people with the opposite point of view are also just as ignorant, so clearly I still have a different mindset on this topic regardless of the circumstances.

Reply

[-]

HarassedPatient@reddit

I can only speak from my experience, but there were times at the start of this year where, had there been a button I could have pressed and just stopped existing, I would have hit that button so hard. Obviously now, looking back, I'm quite glad there was no such button, but in the moment, when the pain hits, you just want it to stop.

Reply

[-]

MissingScore777@reddit

I'm sorry you felt that way, I hope you're doing much better. Look at this way - In the billions upon billions of years from now to the heat death of the Universe you have a lot of time not to exist. May as well live out the tiny fraction of existing years to their natural conclusion rather than go into nothing prematurely.

Reply

[-]

mightyqueefer@reddit

The horrible truth is there's nothing we can do about the fact that we are going to die. I like to think of it as logically yea probably gonna go from existing to not. However, there's so many theories like heaven, reincarnation, and ghosts it's potentially another adventure. I'm not overly excited to find out before my time though, haha.

Reply

[-]

Jkelly515@reddit

Think of it this way, how did you feel before you were born, before you existed, did it bother you? Of course not, because you didn’t exist to be bothered in the first place, I personally believe death is the same thing. I won’t be bothered about it because I’m not alive to be bothered in the first place

Reply

[-]

MissingScore777@reddit

This is not comforting at all and I don't know why so many people say this exact thing as if it makes it alright. Before I was born was nothingness and that's exactly what I'm terrified of in regards to death.

Reply

[-]

Civil-Koala-8899@reddit

I think it is scary to think about, especially when you think about the fact the universe will go on for billions and billions of years after you die That being said, I definitely think there are things worse than death.

Reply

[-]

MissingScore777@reddit

Due to conversations over the years I'm aware that my belief that nothing is worse than death is uncommon and sometimes makes people uncomfortable. I wouldn't think twice if offered immortality and it amazes me how many say they wouldn't want it.

Reply

[-]

bowak@reddit

Would it be a type of immortality that also renders you immune to pain/injury etc? And that also lets you fly through space like Superman? Cos if not, at some point you're going to die as the Earth is consumed by the Sun (and likely billions of years sooner as we probably only have about 500 million years left before Earth will be a desert planet). So at a minimum you'll need to be immune to damage and and to fly to other planets or solar systems. And even then, eventually you'll be left just sat in infinite never ending darkness gone completely mad that you haven't come across as much as an atom for trillions of years with an eternity of this nothing left to look forward to. Compared to which the time you got to love and see how long humanity lasted for might not even remain as a fraction of a memory to you as it was so long ago. Compared to that actual oblivion is sweet indeed. This is why most people don't want immortality if they think about it. It's worth looking up tales about genies or the monkey's paw to see why you should be extremely careful about what you wish for.

Reply

[-]

MissingScore777@reddit

I know the arguments. I can just about comprehend that maybe I'd get too bored and want it all to end some time after the heat death of the universe. Not before though. Absolutely and unequivocally not before.

Reply

[-]

geoffery_jefferson@reddit

so you've admitted that non-existence can be better than existence

Reply

[-]

Queefofthenight@reddit

Watching everyone and everything you've ever loved die over and over and over again sounds unbearable. Everything that lives is meant to die

Reply

[-]

MissingScore777@reddit

There's no 'meant to' about anything. It just is that way. Unless you believe in some kind of intelligent design like a God? But then it would be disingenuous of you to debate with me, as technically you wouldn't believe that death is the absolute end and that is the truth that this whole conversation is based on.

Reply

[-]

Queefofthenight@reddit

I don't believe in any god. I have no interest in debating you. My opinion was that a life of immortality would be misery.

Reply

[-]

robertodurian@reddit

I always think of the quote from Oscar Wilde “Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one's head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no tomorrow. To forget time, to forgive life, to be at peace.”

Reply

[-]

dollarfrom15c@reddit

The words are nice but it misses the point I think. It implies there's some *you* left to experience those things, to listen to silence, to be at peace. Even the idea that it's beautiful suggests there is something that can consider beauty. Death isn't like that though. Once we die that's it, it's not like part of us sticks around to be able to appreciate being at rest. You might as well ask whether a pebble enjoys chilling out on the beach.

Reply

[-]

JamesfEngland@reddit

I don’t understand why people have children for this reason it’s terrifying and your kids will die too.

Reply

[-]

AverageCheap4990@reddit

How do you feel about not existing before you were born?

Reply

[-]

MissingScore777@reddit

After death being the same as before birth is exactly what terrifies me. I don't understand why people say that like it's a comfort.

Reply

[-]

AverageCheap4990@reddit

It's not meant to comfort you but to guide you towards better understanding of the dis-ease.

Reply

[-]

HellPigeon1912@reddit

This is wild to me. I feel like my life is always a net negative so eventually snuffing it can only be an improvement

Reply

[-]

MissingScore777@reddit

That actually sounds a lot like depression to me. I'm obviously no expert on the subject but maybe you should see someone about that.

Reply

[-]

HellPigeon1912@reddit

I don't think it's depression, it's just mathematics. I spend far far more time at work, exercising, and doing chores than I do on things I like. Most of my time is spent tired and stressed I can't afford the things that I expect would make me happy, and I only get to spend about 5 days a year with friends When I die there'll be good things I never get to do again and that's a shame. But life is made up of far far more unpleasant things that I can feel relieved will be over

Reply

[-]

maksigm@reddit

I pretty much always agreed with this and couldn't comprehend any other way of thinking, my whole life. Then I tried psychedelics. It still bothers me, but it doesn't shake me to my core like it used to. I'd suggest making friends with mushrooms.

Reply

[-]

FugueItalienne@reddit

LSD definitely has a 'mortality' feeling to it.

Reply

[-]

No-Relation1122@reddit

My Nan lived to 101. She was healthy and independent, and lived alone. She couldn't wait to die, not because she was depressed or unwell, but because she was at the point where everyone around her was dying. Husband, children, siblings, friends. She felt that life became a constant state of grief because she was grieving people and grieving who she once was (because even being fit and healthy at 101 comes with limitations). I've worked in cancer services and now suicide prevention, I do think it's a bit disingenuous to say you don't understand why people may welcome or be OK with death, if you not been around people who are in a constant state of suffering. I'm not advocating people just going and ending it all and we should be working towards minimising their pain, but perspective makes a big difference as to why death isn't the worst possible thing for some people.

Reply

[-]

musty_oxen@reddit

I used to feel the same way, and then I just got kind of tired and the idea of existing forever seemed more daunting than death

Reply

[-]

Resident-Young-3149@reddit

That's just your ego talking. Do you know anyone with a terrible mental illness that robs them of true life & connection? If you had that, you would happily cease to be rather than wake up in mental agony every single day. I know someone with severe bi-polar & he tried to cut his own jugular with a Stanley knife rather than live in such torture. He said he heard his tendons ping like it was a completely normal statement before almost bleeding out......he was rescued just in time but now resides in a mental health facility. Absolutely crap way to survive.

Reply

[-]

Wishmaster891@reddit

I guess it would be the same as before you were born sir

Reply

[-]

MissingScore777@reddit

Quite literally the point and the opposite of comforting.

Reply

[-]

Wishmaster891@reddit

Do you remember the tike before you were born?

Reply

[-]

MissingScore777@reddit

Nope it was the same nothingness as the oblivion that comes after. Why do people find this comforting? It's a perfect example of why you should be terrified.

Reply

[-]

bowak@reddit

Being terrified about it is just pointless and a waste of time though. Obviously the human mind isn't always rational and I doubt that any of us can avoid worrying about at least one thing that we have zero control over though.

Reply

[-]

Wishmaster891@reddit

But you won’t know about it

Reply

[-]

MissingScore777@reddit

Afterwards no I won't. But before I'm very much aware of it and that's what we're talking about isn't it? How much it bothers you as a person who is alive.

Reply

[-]

Wishmaster891@reddit

Don’t worry about what you can’t control

Reply

[-]

MissingScore777@reddit

Not be too flippant but it's hardly a choice, I'm not a robot.

Reply

[-]

doodles2019@reddit

The concept of simply not existing anymore really overwhelms me and makes me feel quite sick if I try to think about it. Not dying per se, but the struggle to get my head around the enormity of non-existence and not being.

Reply

[-]

Temporary-Pirate-80@reddit

The finality of it is terrifying.

Reply

[-]

klc81@reddit

>I genuinely can't think of anything worse than simply not existing. I get the occasional moment of existential dread about it too, but I try to remind myself that I've already done non-existence for 13 billion years before I was born, and it wasn't that bad.

Reply

[-]

Lshamlad@reddit

You might find the Stoics' approach to death helpful: https://www.thecollector.com/stoics-contemplating-death/

Reply

[-]

Ok-Professor-6549@reddit

Upvoted just out of respect for having an opinion so completely contrary and incomprehensible to my own

Reply

[-]

MissingScore777@reddit

Haha, thank you.

Reply

[-]

APiousCultist@reddit

Nothing like momento mori to give me a sudden intense bout of fight or flight. At least I don't believe I'm going to hell or to an eternal black void. But yeah, blinking out entirely doesn't make me happy

Reply

[-]

SuicidalTurnip@reddit

It's just so incomprehensible, that's what scares me.

Reply

[-]

Queefofthenight@reddit

On the flip side, what were you before you were born, there is no evidence of pre birth awareness. But there is growing evidence for post death existence. Southampton Hospital in the UK are conducting a study at the moment to try and gather evidence for awareness after death.

Reply

[-]

Lloytron@reddit

I'm not bothered by things out of my control. What good does worrying about the concept of death achieve?

Reply

[-]

MissingScore777@reddit

Oh you are correct in your logic, no doubt. But the human brain isn't always logical and so I struggle to just switch off from worrying about it in the way you describe.

Reply

[-]

WatchingTellyNow@reddit

I "cease to be", as in, I cease to be aware of myself, every time I go to sleep. When I've gone, I will no longer exist so I won't be in a position to feel bad (or to feel anything at all) about no longer existing.

Reply

[-]

aitchbeescot@reddit

You get less afraid as you get older

Reply

[-]

Bikebikeuk@reddit

We all die. It’s just a question of when and how!

Reply

[-]

_Rookwood_@reddit

I don't think you would be human if you weren't afraid of death. It's our most primitive instinct the will to survive; and the knowledge of imminent death should be horrifying. I'm certain that most people who aren't afraid are just coping in their own peculiar way.

Reply

[-]

EntertainmentBroad17@reddit

I've never been afraid of death, but painful lingering suffering terrifies me. Make it quick and painless please, that's all I ask.

Reply

[-]

Available_Wish_5724@reddit

I'm 61. As a retired palliative care nurse I'm neither scared of dying nor of the dying process (unless you count drowning in the sea or burning in a house fire, lol!). What does bother me, however, is that time is running short. Seventy, for example, is not a given. I've travelled and done some interesting things in my life, but there's so much I still want to learn. This sense of being short on time to start something new seems common among my age group. I'm not beaten by it in any way (I know others who are), but in the back of mind I find myself wondering if I've time to finish what I've started ...

Reply

[-]

HarassedPatient@reddit

Yeah - there was a load of things I was going to do when I finally retired. Now I realise most of them ain't going to happen. On the other hand, they burnt out a secondary cancer in my brain and I lost all the scientific names of insects that I knew. So I'm relearning them. I won't have relearnt them all before I eventually die, but I'm buggered if I'm going to spend my last year going "oh look it's thingie" to every insect I see. (didn't lose the common names interestingly, just the latin - must be stored in different places)

Reply

[-]

Available_Wish_5724@reddit

That's rather shit. I'm so sorry. Also, though, kudos to you for putting in the effort to relearn. That's amazing work - I really admire you, so have 100 upvotes from me! Life is so bloody precarious, though. Sigh.

Reply

[-]

HarassedPatient@reddit

Well of all the things you could lose I guess Leptoglossus occidentalis et alia is the most disposable. I could have lost something far more useful or valuable, like the memory of the kids growing up or how to use a spreadsheet. But even though I won't get round to seeing every British orchid and butterfly, I still managed to see a new species of each last year - I might not get to the end, but the journey is its own reward. So I'd say start those new things even if you know you won't finish them. I have stopped adding books to the 'I'll read it when I'm retired" pile though.

Reply

[-]

Available_Wish_5724@reddit

Your words are very wise, my friend. May you stick two fingers up in the face of fate and outlive your prognosis by a considerable margin, if just to be pedantic 😉 I wish you well. And now I have to find out what Leptoglossus are ...

Reply

[-]

yolo_snail@reddit

Nah, why would it? I also never got the whole being upset over a dead family member thing, no use crying over spilt milk and all that

Reply

[-]

CaptMelonfish@reddit

Distant relatives ok, but if your parents pass you're surely going to be upset? or is there a history of pet dissection we should know about?

Reply

[-]

yolo_snail@reddit

I've had 2 grandparents die (so far) I wasn't particularly upset either time tbh. I've always just been of the opinion that being upset isn't going to bring them back, so why get upset.

Reply

[-]

Extreme_Warthog_6636@reddit

Normal people aren't able to rationalise their way out of grief. You may be a psychopath.

Reply

[-]

HarassedPatient@reddit

or just non neuro typical. Ever since my diagnosis I've taken to saying "night dear, dead soon" to my partner when we go to bed. And she's been known to remark that I should "hurry up and die already" when I've done something stupid. If you can't have a laugh about it what's the point in dying? But we are both pretty far on the spectrum - I'm generally far more delicate around neurotypicals.

Reply

[-]

Extreme_Warthog_6636@reddit

Oh my partner and I "joke" about wanting to die fairly regularly, but I'd imagine you or your partner would still be deeply sad when one of you dies, no? You won't just go "well, no point crying over spilt milk!" and just move on, right?

Reply

[-]

HarassedPatient@reddit

I confess I am very worried about how life will be for her once I do get round to joining the choir invisible. Apart from the kids we really don't have anyone other than each other that we spend time with. We haven't needed anyone else. Now I'm going to leave her alone, with failing hearing, joint pains and the kids getting older and leaving home. It's definitely the worse bit about dying.

Reply

[-]

buymybone@reddit

More like they think it's a cool flex on the internet. I bet they'll cry like a baby when the time comes.

Reply

[-]

yolo_snail@reddit

Does that mean I can become an assassin? I hear there's big money in that 'business'

Reply

[-]

Extreme_Warthog_6636@reddit

Uh up to you I guess.

Reply

[-]

Civil-Koala-8899@reddit

Because humans have emotions and it’s normal (and healthy) to feel/show them

Reply

[-]

ArcTan_Pete@reddit

*"Nah, why would it?"* yeah, I totally agree. It's inevitable. *"I also never got the whole being upset over a dead family member thing, no use crying over spilt milk and all that"* yeah, that's where you begin to sound like a bit of a psychopath

Reply

[-]

IansGotNothingLeft@reddit

I don't fear death itself, it's simply an end. But I worry for my daughter and her emotional wellbeing. I watched my mum die. She went from being an active human to a bed bound husk in a matter of days, and she stayed that way for months. Her basic functions started failing (appetite, toileting, physical activity, coherent thoughts, expressing thoughts, sleep). She became susceptible to every viral or fungal infection. Waiting to die is tedious, painful and traumatic. And that's just for the person dying, not the people around you. So if I could choose, I'd go quickly. On that note, [please support Dignity In Dying](https://www.dignityindying.org.uk/).

Reply

[-]

BeKind321@reddit

Not scared of dying - scared of not living a fulfilled life.

Reply

[-]

Iz-zY1994@reddit

Yeah, of course. It's how I'm still here. I've been suicidal since I was 9 years old. I've made... Two? Attempts in those 20 years but honestly my heart wasn't in it so they weren't a concerted effort. The idea of not being here, of ceasing to be, is haunting. It's not just scary, not just chilling, it's *wrong*.

Reply

[-]

DrummerGirl2000@reddit

The only thing about my future death that scares me is the how and the thought of leaving loved ones behind but I used to overthink it growing up. Since my Dad took his own life when I was 17, I've had a different outlook on death. I don't fear it anymore because I know it's more peaceful than life but I don't want to die suffering.

Reply

[-]

sumukhgupta@reddit

I feel the same, death does seem more peaceful but it's the buildup to death that scares me 💀 the thought of being forced to suffer in your body for long and having to depend on others is terrifying

Reply

[-]

OsrsAbuser@reddit

No. It used to eat up my thoughts, but one day I had realisation that I didn't care about being dead for billions of years before, I don't care about being dead for billions after.

Reply

[-]

TimedDelivery@reddit

Before having kids I was as ok with the idea of dying as one can be but since having kids it TERRIFIES me. If my husband and I die my kids have nowhere safe to go. My brother is an alt-right conspiracy theorist who once described routine childhood vaccinations as “worse than the Holocaust”, my parents aren’t that bad but my mum did recently complete a workshop called “Preventing and Treating Cancer with Diet” and she and my dad have super backward ideas about education, my sister in law is a delusional narcissist, my mother in law has a degenerative illness and is completely under my sister in law’s control and our kids’ godfather has a career that requires 70 workweeks and frequent travel and he has no support network. The are no good options. We can not die.

Reply

[-]

HarassedPatient@reddit

Yikes! Try to avoid mountains, lakes and tightrope walking across the grand canyon until they're older.

Reply

[-]

Kairi911@reddit

Death doesn't scare me but leaving my family behind does. I've come to terms with it over the years and have decided as we can do NOTHING about it instead I will soak up every single second with my family and enjoy myself here while I can.

Reply

[-]

No-Band2924@reddit

More sad than scared. Sad that there will be nothing left to look forward to, can’t even look back on old memories. Sad that I can never hold my girlfriend or children again. When you die there is no concept of time, so you essentially fast forward to the heat death of the universe and beyond. I like to think that when you die your consciousness gets transported to another life somewhere in the cosmos, or you can do anything you want. But that’s probably not the case… I definitely don’t want “heaven” as we know it to exist. The thought of my ancestors watching me all the time is creepy AF, and definitely a breach of GDPR. It is fascinating though, the one part of human existence that we can never empirically study. It’s so incomprehensible that literally anything can happen after death, reality ceases to exist.

Reply

[-]

HarassedPatient@reddit

upvote for "definitely a breach of GDPR" That's excellent.

Reply

[-]

Plasticman328@reddit

I'm 64 so I may have another twenty years or just one; who knows. I'm sort of relaxed about the fact but I want to make all my plans so that when it happens people aren't left wondering what to do. I've written a letter 'On My Death' which covers things like my funeral and burial wishes. I've done a list of who needs to be told. What's to happen to my particular stuff. I've got a Will and Powers of Attorney signed up. It all sounds a bit anal but I'm going to die sometime and I just want it to be as straightforward as it can be. My only problem is where to get a Viking long ship and all that tar? Anyone?

Reply

[-]

HarassedPatient@reddit

Excellent attitude. Sorry I can't help with the long ship - if you do find one make sure you've booked a good archer though. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozrsNpdpFv0

Reply

[-]

WeeklyYoghurt4617@reddit

I’m stage four cancer. Been fighting it for four years. Got six months or so to go. NHS have been brilliant. Macmillan likewise. Yes, I’m really scared about how family will cope but on the other hand humans are resilient creatures. Sometimes I feel a bit egotistical thinking that everything and everyone will fall apart when I go. They will be fine. As far as death itself is concerned, I’m ready and waiting for that bastard.

Reply

[-]

HarassedPatient@reddit

Four years - way to go dude - that's some serious fighting. At least you'll get christmas - hope you enjoy it with your family.

Reply

[-]

Big-End-9824@reddit

Nope. I welcome it. I am in a lot of pain and get morphine, I can no longer go out ; I am bed bound. I have terminal cancer. I’m happy I am home. But now I just want to shuffle off this mortal coil.

Reply

[-]

HarassedPatient@reddit

Wishing you a quick and an easy end. All the best.

Reply

[-]

nomiromi@reddit

I am not scare of death but scare of the period leading to it if any, losing ability to control, take care of myself etc. That would be super scary

Reply

[-]

CECowps@reddit

I don’t want to die first as I don’t want my partner to be heartbroken and lonely. But I don’t want to die first as I never want to make her feel that way. Dying doesn’t scare me, leaving my people behind terrifies me though.

Reply

[-]

the_j_cake@reddit

Actually after recent bad experiences death does not scare me, like the other comments it's the means and any suffering that does. I had some bad thoughts in the previous couple of years following multiple injuries. In fact, even did an emergency call out to see a same day spine consultant today following some worrying nerve pain in parts of my body. Thankfully, good news in this particular instance but £300 lighter now. My point being it's hard to envisage anyone else's mental or physical suffering. All other priorities can go out the window and you can become almost a completely different person, it's not easy to keep positive in such scenarios. Having to go through this later in life is something else that scares me and for that reason I'm very very pro assisted dying. Frankly if I was suffering to the point I wanted to go to sleep and never wake up again, apart from family I couldn't give a shit about what other people thought. My life, my decision, if it bothers you, fine let it bother you, but don't get in my way or attempt to block my actions. If you don't want suffering it either needs to be fixed or give me an alternative route out.

Reply

[-]

Nerry19@reddit

I live in fear of death every day,mine, my daughter's, my other halves,my family, my freaking cats. I just try not to think about it so I don't go crazy. But I have imagined 110 ways it could happen, I've cried over my imaginings, if you know I way I can just....not think about please let me know lol

Reply

[-]

DrunkTalkin@reddit

My own death doesn’t - the thought of my partner dying keeps me up at night.

Reply

[-]

FlusteredPigeon@reddit

I have a long standing fear of death. I don't like the thought of not existing, it's petrifying.

Reply

[-]

Reasonable-Fail-1921@reddit

Whilst I’d much prefer continuing to live, no the idea of death doesn’t scare me. It’s a strange though in the same way as the idea that the world existed before I did, but not a scary one. There’s only two things that scare me about death. - Leaving behind my Mum and my cats. My Mum, I’m honestly not too sure if she’d want to keep on living if I died. It’s always just been the two of us and I think it would break her. My cats, I once read something that said ‘Don’t drive dangerously, your pet won’t understand why you haven’t come home’ and even now it makes me tear up! - Dying painfully. I don’t want to be like my Nan, dying of cancer and unable to move or speak, barely able to move her eyes to look around. I can still picture the last time I saw her, one day before she passed, and she was already more or less a dead body. I can only hope her mind had also deteriorated by that point and she wasn’t aware of what was happening to her. I don’t want that!

Reply

[-]

ForrestGrump87@reddit

Nah I would hate to die painfully or tragically or before i get a chance to see my loved ones OK but no, death is part of life . i have huge fomo but obviously i know that once gone i am back to the place i was before i got here ... it didnt bother me for the eons before i came into existence , why should it bother me to go back. Death / The end makes it all worth doing, makes it important , makes it meaningful, makes every moment count. You are here for a short time , make the most of it.

Reply

[-]

Random_Nobody1991@reddit

Since getting a bit older, I can understand why people of a certain age and/or situation either don’t fear death or sometimes welcome it. Being in my early 30’s, I still have the majority of my life ahead of me. I want to raise a family with my wife, go to places with her and any children and see our civilisation develop. However, give it 50+ years, my parents will be dead, many of my friends and relatives will be dead and my wife might be dead. My children would have their own lives and families to be getting on with and I would be increasingly out of place with the world. At that point, I would likely look forward to moving on and having a chance of seeing those people again that I’ve lost. I know it’s from Lord of the Rings and fictional, but in Return of the King, there’s a scene where Gandalf reassures Pippin that death is not the end, but another path everyone must take. He goes on to explain that when you die, you see white shores, a far green country beyond that under a swift sunrise. If anything that happens after death is even 10% that pleasant how it looks in my head, I would be content.

Reply

[-]

Bwca_at_the_Gate@reddit

Death didn't bother me at all until I had a kid. Now I'm bothered that if I die I can't look after her and make sure she's protected. Don't have kids, it's unconditional worry.

Reply

[-]

6cats93@reddit

I'm scared incase it's gonna hurt and I'll be aware of dying because I'd just rather not tbh. But I don't like the thought of my kids not having me ever again, I want to see everything, I want to be there for them at all times.

Reply

[-]

No-Hurry241@reddit

Honestly, life scare me so much more than death. Can’t wait for it

Reply

[-]

godstar67@reddit

No, it will be a blessed relief.

Reply

[-]

Adventurous_Bid631@reddit

The thought that I might miss my son’s growing up is the scariest thing I can imagine. All the experiences I’d miss, the milestones, not being there to cuddle them when they are sad or have stubbed their toe. I kind of don’t give a shit about me. I want to know that my kids are happy and safe.

Reply

[-]

Demo_Bec@reddit

I have nightly panic attacks about it.

Reply

[-]

CoachSignificant9974@reddit

I used to be similar- I now try and reason that I'm only going to waste my life by worrying about the end of it. Try to worry about things you can control in life.

Reply

[-]

Demo_Bec@reddit

Oh, yes, but I already do that as well lol

Reply

[-]

EitherChannel4874@reddit

Not anymore. Went through a bad cancer scare that was pretty close to ending me so I made peace with it already. I'd rather not die in pain if I had a choice but I live in pain every day so it's not gonna be anything new.

Reply

[-]

dlt-cntrl@reddit

I'm not afraid of death, what worries me is going in pain or fear. I've done things I'm not proud of and in the small hours of the morning I sometimes wonder what's waiting on the other side and if I'll have to pay for them. What I really hope happens is that the lights go out like the old style TV's, a light going to nothing and that's it. Although I would love to see my pets again.

Reply

[-]

space0watch@reddit

What would scare me more than dying is if after death we have to relive our life all over again. No thanks.

Reply

[-]

HarassedPatient@reddit

Although I'd love the chance to do it without the mistakes.

Reply

[-]

space0watch@reddit

But what would probably happen is that you won't remember a thing from your past life. Just repeating it over and over again, non stop.

Reply

[-]

sagima@reddit

My husband recently turned 40. He’s got 2-5 weeks left to live (brain tumour). He’s more angry at not getting to see/enjoy the next forty years rather than afraid of dying

Reply

[-]

HarassedPatient@reddit

Oh that sucks - so young, so little warning. There's nothing I can say that could possibly help but I will point you to /r/widowers for later (it's for anyone who's lost a partner irrespective of gender)

Reply

[-]

ResidentPoem4539@reddit

So sorry to hear that.

Reply

[-]

icycheezecake@reddit

Ever since I proposed to my SO I have developed a fear of meeting my end too soon. I could lose my future and it terrifies me

Reply

[-]

w3stw0rld@reddit

I'm not scared of dying. I'm moreover frustrated that I will never find out how life and technology turns out on the planet for everyone who survives me. It's the not knowing that kills me.

Reply

[-]

bowak@reddit

That's what bugs me now as I get older. I'd be quite happy if instead of dying we could somehow be woken up every century for a day to get a recap of how things are then going under for another century. Knowing that I'll never know if we actually make it to the stars or not is rather annoying.

Reply

[-]

FierceStrider@reddit

I was diagnosed with breast cancer in April and I’ve never been more scared of death in my life. I have always been scared of it whenever I think of it but being confronted with it so early in my life has made it a lot worse. I am scared of the idea of not existing, not being here, not being able to do all the things I want to do.

Reply

[-]

HarassedPatient@reddit

If it helps, breast is one of the better cancers when it comes to survival. A fear of death is quite healthy in your case because it will make the shitty bits of chemo easier to bear (because no matter how bad it gets, it's always better than the alternative). You have excellent odds of surviving this, and "that which does not kill us makes us stronger".

Reply

[-]

FierceStrider@reddit

Unfortunately I have got one of the worst types of breast cancer, with really high recurrence rates, so it’s really hard to deal with that mentally.

Reply

[-]

Kitchen-Pangolin-973@reddit

Absolutely terrified. When I start thinking about it I spiral for a day or two. Surprised to see so many people ok with it

Reply

[-]

bowak@reddit

This is one topic where I've love to know the age of commenters. I suspect that terrified to acceptance would trend roughly with age.

Reply

[-]

TheNoGnome@reddit

This is one of the reasons I think everyone benefits from having a general anaesthetic at least once in their lives. I had my most recent one a few weeks ago and I find it a really spiritual experience. To be taken out of your own life for a few hours - not asleep, not dead, not awake. The world moves on without you, and you don't know or care as it's happening. If you can accept that, you can accept death. I think.

Reply

[-]

batlady1996@reddit

I wasn't scared of death until I had to have an operation last year. Now I'm terrified of the idea of being conscious while dead after some pretty terrifying hallucinations 😬

Reply

[-]

Illustrious_Force565@reddit

Not scared of dying in the slightest. Strangely I'm intrigued to see what it's like (No I'm in no hurry to get there any quicker!) What I'm more worried about, than scared of, is a lingering painful death.

Reply

[-]

-GuardPasser-@reddit

We've all been dead before. Before we were born.

Reply

[-]

SleepFlower80@reddit

I’m not scared about it. I am curious but not scared. I just don’t want a horrible death. Also, I really can’t imagine a world without me. I’m no one and nothing, and no one outside of my family would miss me, but still.

Reply

[-]

HarassedPatient@reddit

Personally I'm not convinced you aren't all a massive hallucination I'm having, so when I go you all go. But who knows, maybe we are all your hallucination and you are single handedly keeping existence going?

Reply

[-]

celaconacr@reddit

Similar to you. My main worries are those I would leave behind and missing out on my kids growing up. I don't worry specifically about me. I got quite a lot of life insurance to make sure they are taken care of how I can.

Reply

[-]

Da5ren@reddit

Personally i don't want to die anytime soon, BUT there's something about it that's always been more intriguing than 'scary'. The thought of nobody knowing, like at all, for sure what happens when you die to your conscience and energy is fascinating to me. I'm sure it's just like nothingness, i don't remember what happened before i was born etc, BUT nobody really knows 100% and that for me is, maybe not 'exciting' but definitely not scary.

Reply

[-]

PerceptionGreat2439@reddit

I used to be scared of it, all the time. I'd constantly think about it frequently during the day. As I've got older, it bothers me less. I have no family that will be worried about me. To be quite honest, it would be really useful if someone could actually give me a date. I could get all my ducks in a row. I could spend a fuckton of money on something really frivolous knowing it didn't matter.

Reply

[-]

HarassedPatient@reddit

Yes. This. Being a bit non-PC on this one, but one of the upsides of a terminal diagnosis is that, even if you don't get an exact date, you at least know it's coming and have time to prepare. It's so much better than all those poor bastards who leave the house to go to work and for one reason or another never make it home again.

Reply

[-]

EnglishWolverine@reddit

When my dad had terminal cancer he knew he would be dead soon. Made his arrangements, put a DNR on his medical records, got his will sorted etc. He came to terms with everything and when talking to him during his final months he was at peace with what was going to happen. His final words before slowly sinking to the floor and dying… “help me”. Yea the thought of dying is fucking terrifying to me.

Reply

[-]

Illustrious-Pizza968@reddit

Why did he say help me? He already had planned everything beforehand and come to terms with it so maybe" I love you" would of been a better final speech?

Reply

[-]

EnglishWolverine@reddit

Because he couldn’t breath and was struggling to stand up. He didn’t know that exact moment would be the moment he would die. He was told he had maybe a year and that was 4 months into that year. He was trying to get a glass of water when it happened.

Reply

[-]

Illustrious-Pizza968@reddit

Oh right that makes more sense now I see what you mean. That's the sad thing you just don't know when that light switch will be flicked off.

Reply

[-]

EnglishWolverine@reddit

Yea that’s the thing. I’ve been with relatives who have been in bed in hospital knowing it’s the end and having time to gather around and say goodbye. He just got up early one morning for a glass of water and dropped.

Reply

[-]

Illustrious-Pizza968@reddit

It's shit but at least he's in a better place now my friend 🙏

Reply

[-]

Floydian557@reddit

Nope..Why be afraid of something that happens to us all one day ? It's inevitable and it's just one thing in life we can't cheat !

Reply

[-]

dhgifjsn35@reddit

We will never experience our own deaths, the only death we experience is the death of loved ones and friends.

Reply

[-]

AkimboFrice@reddit

The only terrifying bit, is that period of time between it being inevitable you're going to die, and your death. That lack of control. It's why falling to my death would be one of my worst ways to go. That time between the fall, and hitting the ground, must feeling like the most overwhelming panic attack/sense of impending doom possible to feel.

Reply

[-]

HarassedPatient@reddit

Try bungee jumping. Your brain might know you're quite safe, but as far as your body is concerned you're falling to your death. It was quite interesting: I had time for three distinct conscious thoughts before the cord stopped me falling: "Someone's screaming", "Oh yes, that's me" and noticing that my hands were trying to grab the air as it rushed past.

Reply

[-]

Mahoganychicken@reddit

>that period of time between it being inevitable you're going to die, and your death That's called life.

Reply

[-]

AkimboFrice@reddit

Not yet! Just got to last long enough for some scientific breakthrough into consciousness, or like, a cancer treatment breakthrough that accidentally reverses aging!

Reply

[-]

OldLondon@reddit

That’s why the 911 jumpers just freak me out, I can’t even comprehend that choice to make and then knowing your end is fast approaching in the form of the sudden stop on the pavement

Reply

[-]

Queefofthenight@reddit

I think about that often, the horror of the alternative that made them jump must have been unimaginable

Reply

[-]

Nocturnalist1970@reddit

No fear, in fact I hope society will progress to the point when people at end of life are allowed the option to depart life on their own terms and with medical assistance. Shouldn't have to pay thousands of pounds to go to Dignitas in Switzerland.

Reply

[-]

Melodic_Arm_387@reddit

I looked into Dignitas as I think it would be worth the money to avoid suffering at the end. What puts me off is I have no doubt it will negate my life insurance, so if I end my suffering I’ll put financial hardship on my partner. I feel like after I’ve been diagnosed with terminal cancer life insurance should have to pay out whether I suffer and die of the illness or depart on my own terms sooner

Reply

[-]

HarassedPatient@reddit

The bad news is there's currently a two year waiting list - for most people, by the time they find out they need it, it's already too late.

Reply

[-]

Melodic_Arm_387@reddit

Not an option for me anyway, couldn’t leave husband lumbered with both grief of losing his wife and struggling to pay off the mortgage with the household income halved. I just feel it should be legal here, with life insurance paying out when doctors allow it when terminal illness is the reason.

Reply

[-]

Melodic_Arm_387@reddit

Not at all. I’m 37 and facing death (terminal cancer, am on palliative chemotherapy to try and buy time, but I am going to die of it) and feel like death is nothing to fear. I’ll be dead and beyond fear, grief, pain etc, it’s the people who love me I’ll leave behind it will be hard on.

Reply

[-]

HarassedPatient@reddit

Yep. Once you know it's definitely coming you get used to it. (five stages of grief and all that). There's only so long you can go 'shit, shit I'm going to die' before your body just relaxes into it.

Reply

[-]

nostalgebra@reddit

You say no death soon... I have an old friend just found out he's got pancreatic cancer at 36 years old. Life really is fleeting.

Reply

[-]

Future_Direction5174@reddit

My father knew he was going to die. He was told to expect to go into a coma, then pass a few days later. Instead he died chatting to his night nurses whilst they were washing their hands after preparing him for sleep. They were washing their hands and chatting with him when he went quiet. By the time they dried their hands he was dead. My mother (COPD, oxygen at home when she needed it) had scraped her car against the wall on Friday. Saturday she was “off”, feeling weak, lying on the spare bed.I went round, convinced her to let me call the doctor on her telephone. He wanted to speak to her, so I convinced her to walk, holding onto me, from the spare bed to the phone. She said “let me catch my breath”, I relayed that to the doctor, when she gasped and fell back onto her bed. “She’s collapsed” the doctor told me to hang up and perform CPR whilst he did the rest. When the paramedics arrived, they took over and took her out to the ambulance. They came back and told me that they had called her dead and said that they thought she had been dead “before her head hit the bed”. They brought her body back into the house and laid her out on the settee. So both deaths were “sudden” even if my father knew it was “going to happen soon”. Both were chatting with people who cared until they suddenly died. That is how I would like to go, it’s even better than dying in your sleep because at least it’s not like someone finding you dead and wondering if you suffered. My mothers death still haunts me 15 years later. Was my CPR so bad that I failed her? Or was she really dead before I started it? However she didn’t die alone, she died in my arms and for that I will always be grateful. But I also wish that I hadn’t been there. It’s been 15 years and I remember every second of that fateful morning. I can’t forget it, it is still vivid 15 years later. Death doesn’t scare me. Dying does.

Reply

[-]

BigHairyBreasts@reddit

Death not at all. Old age and ill health, far more so.

Reply

[-]

Jamericho@reddit

Yeah, the possibility of dementia or cancer is the only thing that worries me slightly.

Reply

[-]

7ootles@reddit

Treatments for cancer are becoming better all the time. Since my childhood cancer has gone from being little short of a death sentence people didn't speak of openly to being (in most cases) an inconvenience. Dementia, on the other hand. Well. I don't believe in euthanasia so much, but I've lived close to Alzheimer's. 'Nuff said.

Reply

[-]

Jamericho@reddit

Yeah, advancements over the past twenty or so years gives me some hope. Dementia is being focused on quite a lot these days so hopefully in twenty years time things may be different. A good sign is they have managed to slow progression of some forms so fingers crossed.

Reply

[-]

No-Relation1122@reddit

I don't want to diminish what hell it is to have cancer, I really don't, but there are so many other illnesses that terrify me so much more than cancer.

Reply

[-]

Jamericho@reddit

Mine is more based on probability. Heart disease, Cancer or a form of dementia is fairly realistic for a lot of people unfortunately.

Reply

[-]

WerewolfNo890@reddit

I sometimes wonder with cancer, is there an upside that you at least know in advance? But then there is a lot of uncertainty and then there is hope the treatment will work and the disappointment for those it doesn't. Probably is better to pass in your sleep.

Reply

[-]

Agreeable_Guard_7229@reddit

There’s also the fact that the last years of your life will be filled with hospital appointments, surgery and treatment.

Reply

[-]

ToothDoctor24@reddit

Same

Reply

[-]

ComfortableTackle479@reddit

in this case can you find comfort in thoughts that you may perhaps die young?

Reply

[-]

Rasples@reddit

Death doesn't scare me later in life, but the rising cases of cancer and major illness in under-30s does scare me. I'm 24 and have a partner, and I have a vision for the future. Yet I've known people who went to my school, who I sat on the same table as and spoke to, who died to freak accidents like car crashes, and cancer. I count myself lucky that I'm not one of them, but then I wonder if there is something hidden and lying in wait to reveal itself later in life. It's dying too early that is the scariest part.

Reply

[-]

Redmarkred@reddit

I find the thought of not existing quite comforting to be honest

Reply

[-]

IntrovertedArcher@reddit

I think living scares me more tbh. At least I won’t get treated like shit and charged a fortune for everything when I’m dead.

Reply

[-]

sobbo12@reddit

Yeah, the idea of everything ended, an eternity of nothingness.

Reply

[-]

FearlessMeerkat95@reddit

Yeah it does. But I think more so for who I’m leaving behind.

Reply

[-]

CoachSignificant9974@reddit

The idea of not thinking or being present in the world scares me. An infinite journey till the end of time simply not being, in some ways it's calming as we were nothing for the rest of history. Also did some ancestry work last year, and said to myself I wonder when the last time anyone on this earth remembered these people, the fact we can be forgotten scares me also.

Reply

[-]

chimphead123@reddit

Doesn't scare me in the slightest and never worried about it. When I'm dead, I won't know it. It will be like the billions of years before I was born. It's not like I'm going to be sat there for infinity wishing I was alive lol.

Reply

[-]

Civil-Koala-8899@reddit

Dying itself doesn’t scare me - I deal with it a lot at work and it’s more ‘normal’ to me than most I guess. However, the idea of the eternal nothingness after death does freak me out a bit, even though I know I won’t be aware of it

Reply

[-]

Illustrious-Pizza968@reddit

I'm the same just life to nothingness is weird I guess it's like a big sleep but never waking up !

Reply

[-]

Ok-Explorer22@reddit

The soul lives on brother, we've all died 10's, 100's of times over. Earth, this spinning rock (allegedly) we live on is purgatory for most.

Reply

[-]

Apidium@reddit

I'm not worried about death or being dead. It's the dying part that worries me.

Reply

[-]

kylehyde84@reddit

I am not frightened of dying Any time will do, I don't mind Why should I be frightened of dying? There's no reason for it, you've gotta go sometime

Reply

[-]

Illustrious-Pizza968@reddit

Depends how you go if you're about to be executed you'd not be thinking that lol everyone wants a nice death while they sleeping but unfortunately some have a horrible death don't they!

Reply

[-]

techbear72@reddit

Yes, and I think that anyone that isn't is a little daft in the head. We've evolved over millenia to try to survive and now that our brains have reached the point of self-awareness and sentience I think that drive to survive is embedded in that "mind" and so fear of death is simply a natural consequence of us being bred (through that natural selection) to survive and want to survive and we've just reached the point of being able to actually think about that rather than being driven by instincts to just do it. For me, my brain simply cannot comprehend what it will be like to not exist and shys away from thinking about it; it makes me feel sick and dizzy if I try, because I think it's an irresolvable question for something that does exist and has a modicum of sentience and self-awareness to imagine non-existance - absolute obliteration of the self. It's horrific.

Reply

[-]

Zuckerrrr@reddit

It’s not daft in the head at all. It’s daft in the head to be preoccupied about something that WILL happen and stress and think about it so much. I feel sad for those who fear death. I hope you can come to peace with its inevitability.

Reply

[-]

Alternative-Flower74@reddit

Agree here. I don't stress about it because it will happen but what matters is I have all my personal affairs sorted and when I'm gone, family and my partner can mourn in peace without having to deal with the nightmare of half the paperwork needed and not worry about money. If they're going to have live through my passing, I'll make sure it's as easy possible.

Reply

[-]

Key-Credit9543@reddit

You think who doesn’t have the same fear of being dead that you have is “daft in the head”? We’re not all NPCs with a hive mind who think in the exact same way that you do.

Reply

[-]

Queefofthenight@reddit

Do you exist in your sleep, you have no control or self awareness of your mind. Your body is still doing its functions but the brain is on autopilot. So maybe it's kind of a mini death

Reply

[-]

freeeeels@reddit

Death with benefits

Reply

[-]

imjustjurking@reddit

It's not daft in the head, some of us have just made peace with it. In my mind one day I'll just not be here anymore and that's ok. I hope that I'll be remembered with some kind of positive memories by the people who knew me and that's as much as I could ask for.

Reply

[-]

sickiesusan@reddit

Death doesn’t scare me, I’d just like to know when. So I can plan accordingly. Plan my finances, get stuff organised for my children. Sort out the house and get rid of all my cr*p, so that that isn’t a burden to my kids too. Some may say I could do that anyway, but easier with a definite date - I don’t want to throw things away too soon?!

Reply

[-]

Illustrious-Pizza968@reddit

You don't plan coming into this world so why would you plan when death arrives? Unless you kill yourself prematurely then you are planning I guess.

Reply

[-]

rellz14@reddit

Scared of dying suddenly yes

Reply

[-]

sunlitupland5@reddit

Yes, it scares everyone unless you're a Bhudda or something. The Denial of Death by Ernst Becker was a landmark text on this ( though somewhat outdated now eg homophobic).

Reply

[-]

HarassedPatient@reddit

Nope. I was supposed to die last year but new chemo drugs mean I aintnt ded yet _(I'll get round to it at some point I suppose) . When I got the initial "you probably won't make xmas" talk with the doctor I was mildly bummed out ^1, but as you say it's the effects on my partner and the kids that worries me. Spent the last year trying to keep working and stuffing cash into savings. To be honest not dying is really weird - it's like you've spent months rehearsing for something scary, like a big presentation in public or a parachute jump, only for it to get cancelled at the last minute - on the one hand you're relieved, but on the other you really resent the wasted effort. I will distinguish however that while I'm not bothered about being dead - I'm really, really not looking forward to the actual process of dying. I'm a massive fan of being allowed to skip that bit - both my parents died at home with me and my brother and sister caring for them, and while they went peacefully enough, I would have spared them that last week if I could. Once death is inevitable people should be allowed the option to go quickly and with dignity. ^1 That might be a bit of an understatement to be fair

Reply

[-]

JenJMLC@reddit

Your comment impressed me so much. I wish you all the best.

Reply

[-]

SlanderousMoose@reddit

I've had a few near death experiences and I came to terms with it pretty quickly.

Reply

[-]

UKRobin11@reddit

The feeling of never experiencing or seeing anything ever, ever, ever again gives me goosebumps 😂 hate it Like you’re just gone for the rest of time, just a weird feeling whenever I dwell on it

Reply

[-]

handsome_vulpine@reddit

MFW every single comment so far says not afraid...what the hell? My death absolutely scares me. Just about every aspect of it. Will it hurt? What comes after for my conciousness? Is there an afterlife? Or an eternal void of nothingness? Or do I just fizzle into nonexistence? Now that I've expereinced existance, I just feel I will be, on some level, aware of what comes after, even if it's eternal nothingness. For me, being in eternal nothingness and being somehow concious of it is far worse than anything hell could possibly do to me. The fact that no-one knows for certain what comes after death is probably the scariest part about it. (Those stories of people being medically dead, seeing something, and being brought back could be just attributed to near-death hallucinations) On the other hand, I'm one of those guys who, whenever there's something unpleasant I have to go through that I just cannot avoid, I'd much prefer to get it over with as quickly and painlessly as possible if I can help it. This includes death. So In a way I guess you could say I'm mildly suicidal and I don't think there's any fixing it.

Reply

[-]

Ok_Cow_3431@reddit

> What comes after for my conciousness? Is there an afterlife? Or an eternal void of nothingness? Or do I just fizzle into nonexistence? personally I believe (and am 100% at peace with) the scientific understanding that once my heart stops pumping blood and therefore oxygen into my brain, consciousness ceases. Kaput. Not even an awareness of nothingness as there is no electrical charges firing in my brain that would experience it. I wonder if that belief is a large part of what makes me perfectly at peace with my own mortality.

Reply

[-]

louisejanecreations@reddit

Interestingly this is what I assume happens and that makes it worse for me. The idea of nothingness is terrifying but I can’t believe in an afterlife it just doesn’t feel like that’s correct to me. But I like that it’s what you find really helpful 🙂

Reply

[-]

tiankai@reddit

For me is the possibility of the afterlife being an eternal lonely limbo scares the shit out of me

Reply

[-]

Jkelly515@reddit

Dying doesn’t scare me as long as it’s not a slow death. I don’t want to be on my death bed, or sitting there knowing I’m going to die. I’d rather it be a heart attack or something quick and unexpected, so I don’t have time to regret anything or see my loved ones upset about it. Honestly death doesn’t scare me in the slightest, because I won’t be alive to be affected by it. I think it’s the same as before I was born. Out of the billions of years since the start of the universe, I’ve only been alive for the last 23, and all the billions of years before I existed wasn’t so bad, right? Doesn’t matter if I was the most famous person in human history or if I was a complete nobody, death is death and nothing you’ve ever done or experienced will make a difference in the end. Life is meaningless in my opinion so I just try to enjoy it for what it’s worth as much as I can for as long as I can because I may was well while I’m here.

Reply

[-]

HipHopRandomer@reddit

Nah death doesn’t scare me anymore. I view death the same way I view sleep. Most nights I go to sleep, have 6-8 hours of nothingness and darkness, then wake up in the morning and only then do I acknowledge the lack of any sign of my existence during my sleep. I imagine that’s probably what death is like, just nothingness.

Reply

[-]

scrubsfan92@reddit

It never used to until two things happened: - my friend suddenly died in her sleep (she was quite young) - I moved out of my parents house The first made me suddenly realise that tomorrow is not guaranteed *at all*. My friend had probably made plans for tomorrow, things to do and places to be, and she had no idea that she was never going to do them. The second made me realise that, whilst not the best human beings, I would be grief-stricken if my parents died and, like you OP, I'm now very conscious of what my loved ones would have to go through if I died.

Reply

[-]

PushDiscombobulated8@reddit

I have a phobia of dying. I hate the fact that one day, I won’t exist anymore. I won’t see beautiful sunrises, eat some ice cream, smell my favourite perfume, or cuddle my partner ever again. It’s the little things in life. Instead, I assume we’ll be a ball of energy dissipated into nothingness. Hollow, black, and empty; as if we’re eternally asleep. It terrifies me.

Reply

[-]

_DeanRiding@reddit

Part of me looks forward to it because then I don't have to deal with the drudgery of every day life. But then part of me wants to stick around because there's so much that I'm yet to do, experience, and learn. I'd hate to die before GTA/Elder Scrolls 6 came out lol I just kinda see death as "not existing", and I've done that for billions of years before I was born. I'm sure I'll be fine for the billions after. When you think of it like that, it makes you realise just how fleeting our existence is and how beautiful it is that we can live peacefully in such a unique period, even with all the problems we have.

Reply

[-]

Ok_Garden_4874@reddit

I am afraid of death because I don't know what is in the other side and also I feel there are a lot of things still I need and want to do in this life. However, I am more scared of my family dying because I don't not want to see them again.

Reply

[-]

bearwright1@reddit

I just wish it will hurry up already!

Reply

[-]

Incubus85@reddit

A painful disgusting slow death yes. I was just saying the other day if I could sign a contract that says good health until 60, but from then on at any night you'll either drop dead or die in your sleep, I'd sign that shit up right away. Watching my dad periodically going through different stages of stage 4 cancer, and being away for 4 or 5 months at a time and then seeing the decline like that was just horrible.

Reply

[-]

Logical-Weakness-533@reddit

The thing about death is about separating with the things and people that one loves(is attached to). Let's say you have 20 apples. How willing you would be to give some of them away? Let's say you have 5 apples now. How willing are you to give some of these apples away? Let's say you have 2 apples now. Again same question. Let's say you have only 1 apple. Let's imagine that this apple is a "magical apple". It's special in a way. You had this apple your whole life. It's dear to you. You don't have another apple like it. It's the only apple you have known your whole life. How willing will you be to give it away? Your body is kind of like this one apple. If someone identifies too much with their body it will be very scary to "give it away". After all when you give it away you would be left with nothing. And having nothing can be scary. So in a way it's a question of identity. Yes. Biologically it is our job to protect our bodies as best as we can. This is why we have all these instincts and this is why humans have been so good at survival.

Reply

[-]

Flyawaylittlemonkey@reddit

Death doesn't scare me. Dying slowly and painfully does. Being ill and in pain and losing control over my choices, my body, and my mind. The death of the people I love terrifies me.

Reply

[-]

DavenportPointer@reddit

I’ve faced it three times and had to prepare for it on the spot the first time. The next two times I accepted if it was my time I had made my peace with the world. Don’t waste it folks and don’t be scared, it will come to us all eventually.

Reply

[-]

Dhorlin@reddit

No, as long as it's quick and painless.

Reply

[-]

ManofKent1@reddit

I've lived a full life and travelled extensively and I'm hoping to do much more. However my paternal grandad died at 58 and my dad at 62. I'm 51 have a 12 year old boy and I've done lots worse to my body over time than they did to theirs. I don't worry about me but my wife and son, definitely.

Reply

[-]

ResidentPoem4539@reddit

This pretty much sums it up for me.

Reply

[-]

BigBreach83@reddit

It scares me how long away it might be. But I'm on pills for that.

Reply

[-]

Slobbadobbavich@reddit

I am not scared of death but I would be disappointed if I didn't get to my mid seventies or even eighties. Yunno, a life fully lived. I don't want to suffer though, so there is a balance between death and a life worth living.

Reply

[-]

SquidgeSquadge@reddit

I'm more scared of others dying than myself if I'm honest. Sometimes I get so worked up I'm having nightmares about my husband being killed crossing the road to buy milk. You've just got to make the best of what you have and try not to live with too many regrets in your heart.

Reply

[-]

lysergic101@reddit

DMT will erase all fear of death usually.

Reply

[-]

ManInTheDarkSuit@reddit (OP)

Never touched DMT. Is it that shit scary that you just shed the fear of death? Before I met my wife and had kids, I had zero fear of death and didn't worry about how my step parents would cope if I went before them.

Reply

[-]

Queefofthenight@reddit

In my experience, DMT allows you to pass between dimensions. As corporial beings we exist in the 3d and what we know now, IMO when we pass on the consciousness that's within us leaves and moves across to the next dimension. This is something that has been written about in a multitude of religious texts and practices and experienced by tribes taking substances to enter the spirit world's. The interesting thing with the DMT medical studies is that no matter where the subjects were in the world, the experiences were almost identical.

Reply

[-]

brum_newbie@reddit

Including Ayauascha it has helped many through trauma and break addictions. Definitely gives you a peak and you realise the grandiosity of it all and that we all matter even though we feel insignificant at times. There are many dimensions and worlds If anyone has tried Robert Monroe's gateway experience using their binaural beats and methods its been tested and documented where individuals have both entered the astral plane /dimensions and even helped people who are stuck after death to cross over to the other side. Very interesting stuff

Reply

[-]

boofing_evangelist@reddit

Very hard to explain. I did it after looking my mum suddenly last year. At the time, the risk associated with obtaining and extracting the drug, made a lot of sense to me. You have to fully commit to it, and inhale 3 big lungfulls to get the full experience. I felt very comforted and my view on life/death changed totally. I also was told to go ahead with some lifestyle choices I was going to make, which felt much easier afterwards (changing career for was stress/more to!e with family). No I did not meet my mother, but the experience felt like I was allowed to see behind the scenes for 10mins. Good luck 😊

Reply

[-]

Sparko_Marco@reddit

I'm not afraid of death, it just something that happens. I just hope that it's a peaceful one.

Reply

[-]

Constant_System2298@reddit

I spoke to my grandmother on her death bed, ever since then death has never scared me. However leaving my daughter and wife to fend for themselves scares me the most.

Reply

[-]

JamesfEngland@reddit

Yeah it’s why I never want to have kids or subject them to it. r/antinatalism

Reply

[-]

cleb9200@reddit

I had no fear of death, zero, for most of my life. Until I got sick and death was suddenly an imminent possibility. Turns out I’m all clear now, but there was a couple of weeks where, actually faced with my real mortality rather than the hypothetical idea of it, I was fucking terrified. And sad. In fact sadness first, terror close behind. Incredibly, once I was all clear all that went away and I returned to my previous nonchalance. There’s a great deal of denial involved in existence for sure.

Reply

[-]

Ginger_titts@reddit

Honestly, at this point I’m kinda looking forward to it.

Reply

[-]

brum_newbie@reddit

I'm scared of living

Reply

[-]

Royall1966@reddit

Death itself, no but the manner of it does.

Reply

[-]

Formal-Rain@reddit

No only tue manner but the aftermath no it’s like being scared to be unborn.

Reply

[-]

Zuckerrrr@reddit

If you told me I would die tomorrow so be it. I’ve had a good life and I’m still in my 20s. I don’t really see the preoccupation and worry of those who fear death personally, it’s never been something I’ve been afraid of. And I’ve always thought I’d die young so I just make to enjoy every day whilst they’re here.

Reply

[-]

what-is-in-the-soup@reddit

The idea of death is comforting to me. I used to struggle massively with anxiety until I had the epiphany that nothing in life really matters as much as I think it does, and if I’m not going to be worrying about something on my deathbed then I’m not going to worry about it now either!

Reply

[-]

truth_seeker90@reddit

Depends when you ask me. I dont fear nothingness or nonexistance because you are not aware of it. I do strongly believe that everything is connected and we will go back to being part of the universe.

Reply

[-]

peachandbetty@reddit

Yes. Not because I'll be dead but because my son needs me.

Reply

[-]

mildly_houseplant@reddit

I’m not too fussed about the fact I’ll die one day. I can’t avoid it. I worry that it will be early, and that as I live alone, with no one that regularly visits, then it is going to be something that people don’t discover for a few days or weeks, and that they will feel bad about it. I worry that as I’m so lonely all the time, it will be bought on early (the whole thing people say about loneliness being physically bad for you etc), and that people will feel bad that they never agreed to my suggestions to meet up. I worry that it will be something avoidable, that if I wasn’t alone at home, could have been prevented. I will be forgotten. My memory won’t last to the next generation beyond what my nieces and nephews vaguely remember about the kind of awkward, kind of melancholy, uncle they had. That’s kinda sucky, but… few of us are remembered beyond their grandchildren, I guess. Memories of me will just fade a bit quicker, that’s all. But the actual fact that one day, I just won’t be exist anymore? Well, I can’t change that, and after it happens, won’t know it has happened. So that doesn’t bother me too much.

Reply

[-]

dannieupton@reddit

Funny you’ve asked this, I had a sobering/upsetting moment while I was trying to fall asleep the other night because it hit me that I won’t be here one day, and that scares me, death and the act of dying scares me, if I had the option to pick when I tap out and call it a day I’d jump at it.

Reply

[-]

No-Relation1122@reddit

I'm much the same. Death and dying don't bother me, but if I die unexpectedly young, the thought of people having to process that does.

Reply

[-]

njt1986@reddit

Nope, not even remotely. I'm an ex-military medic, seen a fair bit of death in my life, it doesn't really scare me. Death is one of the few things that will happen to everyone at some point in their life, so I don't see the point in being afraid of it. I don't believe in any kind of religious construct, heaven, hell, afterlife, reincarnation and so on, so there's nothing to fear as far as i'm concerned. It's just like going to sleep, one day the lights will go out and they simply won't come back on again.

Reply

[-]

Happy_Boy_29@reddit

Death is not an event in life so what happens after is no worry, however I'd hate for anyone to look after me, specifically to ensure I take medicine or food or anything else. Watching my father in the autumn of his life is frightening cause I can see how every day he loses a little confidence and with it independence. Still at least he knows how to work the TV, something I have never shown any interest in since the days of on / off switches and four channel buttons. If I ever find myself in a situation of being prescribed medication for life I will politely turn it down in the same way my Dad has turned down dialysis.

Reply

[-]

Y-Bob@reddit

Being dead is no different from not being born yet. Except of course, our pesky consciousness that says otherwise. I've had moments when, facing almost impossible odds to survive my mind has just kind of gone, ok well that's that then with no other particular emotion other than a kind of fateful acceptance of what will be will be. The fear that generally exists around the idea of personal extinction just kind of... went. But other times when I've thought something along the lines of oh that lump looks bad it's gotta be cancer, the existential dread was extremely real and present. Funny old world.

Reply

[-]

pharmacoli@reddit

Gonna hire a hot air balloon and fly high around the coast of New Zealand. Jump. One final awesome ride and then food for the fishes. No waste.

Reply

[-]

IndividualCurious322@reddit

No, I believe in reincarnation so I'm not afraid when my time comes.

Reply

[-]

Scragglymonk@reddit

not scared of it, had a friend who took 10 years to die knowing that he would slowly get worse and drown in his bed from MS, he tried to get himself snuffed on a bdsm icq channel until the snuffer realised he really meant it and had to excuse herself. might be like another friend who "fell" off a 12 storey tower block, death was pretty well instant when the back of his head hit the concrete. if you have a pet it can be given an injection, but for humans it is all life is sacred

Reply

[-]

Iamamancalledrobert@reddit

Yes, but it’s because I have a fear of being reincarnated as a battery hen

Reply

[-]

Entire_Pie1601@reddit

I’ve been terrified of my death since I was about 7. Im 32. My biggest fear is dying before I’ve accomplished all that I want to (including getting my kids to adulthood, dream job stuff etc.), and I’ve used it to spur me on to achieve as much as I can, take life by the balls, but the finality of it all is so bleakly terrifying to me.

Reply

[-]

Rum_Ham94@reddit

Rationally speaking, no. When I die, presuming it’s of natural causes, then I’ll be unaware of it, and I simply won’t exist from that moment. Of course - it is inevitable, there’s no god or afterlife to look forward to and people will grieve for a period - but that’s just the way things are, why be scared? If anything, it puts into perspective how short life really is. That said, I’ll no doubt feel a little bit nervous as I get older.

Reply

[-]

masterflex11@reddit

Not scared of death. It's going to happen to every living organism and is a process of life. We can't avoid it, so why worry about it? I view death the same as sleeping. You can't avoid sleep but each night you go to bed knowing you'll drift into a state you can't control. I don't even remember my dreams, yet when I awake I'm aware I've slept. Death is very much the same, except I won't be aware that I've died which will be the same as not knowing I've slept. What fears me more is what I leave behind on the run-up to my death. How will my family cope? How will my wife cope? However, life finds a way. They'll survive and it'll be hard at first, but they'll move on. For me, death is a mystery. Do I believe in life after death? I'd hope there's something, but realistically it's me being selfish in the hope of still existing in some way or another. It'll also be nice to see those that I cared about that passed. Death makes life all that more precious. When you die (and assuming there's nothing after) it makes your life all that more special. You'll have no acknowledgement that you even lived. Every moment of laughter, sadness, all those years working - pretty pointless in a way, but not for those that live on and remember your actions through memories.

Reply

[-]

Mdl8922@reddit

Absolutely 100% yes, death terrifies me. I think about dying all the time, it consumes me. I spend a lot of time wishing I was dead, the only feeling stronger than the wish, is the fear of actually being dead. It's a fun time.

Reply

[-]

hrhl767@reddit

It never used to - but it does now. I think it's being a parent that's done it. Also the process of dying scares me - I'm in the process of losing my Nanna to dementia I wouldn't want my partner or little boy to watch me go like that, similarly cancer or any other degenerative disease.

Reply

[-]

allaboutwanderlust@reddit

The mummy had the best quote: “death is only the beginning.” Hopefully beginning of something better

Reply

[-]

LeonardBetts88@reddit

Absolutely not. 6 months ago I watched my aunt die, it was 2 weeks from diagnosis to death, I don’t know why but watching someone I love die like that and it was quite literally like everyday she was a little less her, has made me completely accepting of it. It’s scary and sad for everyone but you, I think about that often but actually dying doesn’t really bother me.

Reply

[-]

Future-Improvement-3@reddit

Never been scared of death, thankfully. I just have time to be anxious about that but was scared (when I was a Christian) of living eternally. More so just don't want to die by suffocation or drowning 😖

Reply

[-]

Blackfist01@reddit

Life scares me, death is a comfort.

Reply

[-]

Chavey_Boyy@reddit

I welcome the day it arrives

Reply

[-]

ObscureRyan@reddit

Death doesn’t scare me. But the thought of being aware I’m dying and no longer going to be a part of my partners and families lives anymore does.

Reply

[-]

RedFox3001@reddit

I’m sort of looking forward to it

Reply

[-]

Tiredchimp2002@reddit

All the atoms that make us have always existed. It’s only in this moment that they have been out together in such a sequence that we exist for a brief moment in the whole time of the universe. And back we will return to random spread out atoms from where we came. I just hope I’m not reconstituted as a big brush in the future.

Reply

[-]

Maisie_Bear@reddit

I clean and wrap dead bodies often and I see the process of dying all the time... I honestly am not afraid of death -although nervous at what will happen afterwards, but I absolutely wouldn't want my life prolonged. I would not want to be helped If I had a stroke or dementia etc unless that help came in a form of euthanasia

Reply

[-]

occasionalrant414@reddit

The ceasing to be bit makes me sad but I'm not scared of it. I am anxious about how I will die and hope it won't be dementia or overly painful. If my death could have some meaning I would be happy. I am sacred for the pain my death will bring my kids and wife. That's the big thing.

Reply

[-]

ambientonion@reddit

I'm not scared of dying if I'm old and have lived my life and done most of what I wanted to do - what I am scared of is dying while I'm still young (32 now) either of cancer or some horrible accident. I'm scared of having the rest of my life taken away when there's so much left for me to do

Reply

[-]

DowagerCountess91@reddit

Not scared of death, its inevitable. I just hope it's painless and I have a smile on my face before I go.

Reply

[-]

Temporary-Pirate-80@reddit

Dying scares me a little, but the absolute totality of death terrifies me.

Reply

[-]

MissMars77@reddit

I just hope it isn’t painful

Reply

[-]

chillichangas@reddit

Currently not scared of my death but I do expect that to change as I get older. While I'm not scared of ceasing to be I am scared of the process of dying itself. My own body failing me and my sense of self being stripped away no matter which way I end up going is a terrifying and sobering thought.

Reply

[-]

ciderlout@reddit

No, but not being alive means missing out on new things, and that sucks.

Reply

[-]

-WilliamMButtlicker_@reddit

I'm not scared of dying, but of getting old. The thought of having low/no quality of life terrifies me. I'd rather have 60 good years and be gone than an extra 30 of misery.

Reply

[-]

danmei@reddit

I saw my mum's dead body a few hours after her death (Islamic funeral practices). The 10-15 minutes while I stood to watch as she was being washed and wrapped in white cloth were the most traumatic moments of my life. Completely shifted my perspective on death. Not afraid at all anymore. But having witnessed both of my parents' immense suffering, old age and illness scare the shit out of me.

Reply

[-]

Squiggles87@reddit

The process, yes. But not the result. I've made peace with that.

Reply

[-]

frindabelle@reddit

Nope, I'm only scared that it will hurt

Reply

[-]

ComfortableTackle479@reddit

Don't worry about your family, they'll eventually die, too. And your death won't matter to anyone anymore.

Reply

[-]

Carwyn23@reddit

Death is nothing but an obsicle that we cross over into whatever is next. I don't fear death or the process of it, if my time was to come I would accept and embrace it knowing that I was going on to something better. I hold pagan beliefs and I believe that when we pass away we take on more celestial bodies, higher forms of intelligence. Think of how human bodies are 3rd dimensional and our consciousness is 4th dimensional. I believe the next step up would be higher dimensional bodies with higher dimensional consciousness, being capable of more and understanding more complex things in our universe. I think this is where spirits come from too. I think spirits are the more intelligent form of life which comes after ours. Our consciousness being 4th dimensional means that we literally can not comprehend anything that is more complex or more intelligent than what we are

Reply

[-]

Ok_Cow_3431@reddit

>I'm personally not afraid of death, I know it's going to happen one day, and I can't stop it happening. Absolutely with you. The circumstances of my death bother me though, I don't want it to be a drawn out decline through illness etc.

Reply

[-]

Outcasted_introvert@reddit

When I was young I was terrified about it. I was kind of obsessed actually. I just couldn't handle the idea of the universe going on without me to witness it. Then I got a little older, and a little bit tired. It doesn't scare me any more. And I suspect by the time I get really old, I will be so tired that I will probably welcome it.

Reply

[-]

SpuffJob@reddit

No. I've done it before.

Reply

[-]

gruvccc@reddit

More concerned about dying lonely. I’m an only child and haven’t decided if I want kids, so the chances of that in old age are greater.

Reply

[-]

hippypunkvibes@reddit

I might die soon actually. Like within the next 10 years and although it's scary. I'm more worried about what will become of my animals when I'm gone.

Reply

[-]

CranberryPuffCake@reddit

It used to scare me, a lot. Especially when I was younger. It would sometimes keep me up at night. I don't fear dying or death itself anymore (doesn't mean I'm fearless lol) but I've come to accept it and not too bothered about it anymore. I only want to make sure I don't cause anyone any suffering when I go, like my mum or husband. The thing I fear is dying alone. No one around to even notice I've died and that's a very real thing that could happen to me based on my small family and group of friends (some not even in the same country as me).

Reply

[-]

Sarge19846@reddit

Either there is more after you die so you don't really die,or there is nothing,it can only be one of these,so no!

Reply

[-]

je97@reddit

The first couple of times it did. Last time though it was just 'oh no, not again.'

Reply

[-]

BeneficialAd9435@reddit

Similar to you in the fact that I have 3 young children and I know they'd be devastated but quite honestly if they weren't around and I could go quickly and peacefully tomorrow I probably would!

Reply

[-]

SpuffJob@reddit

I died in 2021, It doesn't hurt. 8 minutes of CPR hurt when I woke up though. It hurt a lot.

Reply

[-]

7ootles@reddit

>I died in 2021, It doesn't hurt. You must have an... interesting definition of death. Usually the cessation of a core bodily function isn't considered death unless it's irreversible. Do you mean you had a cardiac arrest?

Reply

[-]

moiraroseallday@reddit

Not scared of death so long as it’s not long aka Terminal illness. But slipping away in the night or instant death is no bother for me. I’m way more scared of people I love dying and me being left behind. I tell my husband I better die first because I don’t want to be left without him. Massively dreading my parents dying too.

Reply

[-]

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhh@reddit

Also... I've dabbled in a lot of drugs over the years, but 100% if I'm terminal with anything I will be taking up a heroin habit. Sounds so good I would never recover, so the only way I'm doing that shit is on my death bed. All my kids and family are aware of this wish and knowing my staff I'm sure at least one will be able to hook a dying guy up with the good stuff. If I'm gonna go and I know it, I'm gonna go out my fucking tits on class a narcotics.

Reply

[-]

7ootles@reddit

>100% if I'm terminal with anything I will be taking up a heroin habit Depending what you have, the heroin might be provided by the NHS. My uncle died of cancer in 2016 and he was full of diamorphine.

Reply

[-]

Ok-Professor-6549@reddit

The wave rejoins the ocean

Reply

[-]

Zesty_Lemon137@reddit

Depends, really, if I died now if be scared as I know I haven't lived a good life. If I had lived a fulfilling life, then I'd welcome death, no point being scared of not existing when as when I'm there I wouldn't feel anyway

Reply

[-]

Jamin881@reddit

Nahhh death doesn’t scare me. We all have to die some time! All inevitable. Just hope I can make good memories in the process and not take life so seriously

Reply

[-]

tootiredforthisshit1@reddit

I’m 27. Death itself doesn’t scare me, being in long drawn out pain does. Leaving behind people does. But death it’s self I’m passive about.

Reply

[-]

CrispyFlyingJacob@reddit

Paralytically terrified. No idea why, just am

Reply

[-]

Chef_Fats@reddit

I’m not keen on dying but I’m not afraid of death.

Reply

[-]

bestorangeever@reddit

Doesn’t worry me, kind of feels freeing to think about no? In the end nothing matters anyway, I think it depends on what people believe

Reply

[-]

Allthebeerbutnoidea@reddit

Sometimes I'm lying in bed and remind myself of my mortality. My blood runs cold and my heart races. I don't want to not be here and the thought of it just feels unbelievable that I'd rather be in denial about it. I'm not religious and I'm rather cynical so I do believe that once we are gone we are gone. What's worse, though, is realising that my children will also one day be gone. It's a horrible thought and I try my best to avoid it.

Reply

[-]

Chazlewazleworth@reddit

Honestly can’t fucking wait. I don’t believe in anything after death so I’ll just be gone. Don’t want to do myself in though because family will be sad. Just got to wait for it to happen and put up with life in the mean time.

Reply

[-]

PinkSudoku13@reddit

>Don’t want to do myself in though because family will be sad. just know that there's help out there

Reply

[-]

Chazlewazleworth@reddit

There’s no real help for someone like me. Thank you though it’s always nice when someone is nice. Sertraline helps. And the Samaritans have saved my life more than once. Only another what, another 40-50 years to go. Fingers crossed.

Reply

[-]

DiskBeneficial1576@reddit

death? no. Losing my mind, my intellect, the slow sad loss of self and dignity...that terrifies me and I will make sure I go before that happens.

Reply

[-]

Silent_Star_3039@reddit

I had an allergic reaction to codeine and assumed I was dying as I passed out. I wasn’t scared I just closed my eyes and felt complete peace.

Reply

[-]

cfrizzadydiz@reddit

A wise man once said "We all got to die. But some people got to suffer before they die" I'm not afraid of death, I'm afraid of suffering before bit, I'll be happy for a quick death.

Reply

[-]

danjama@reddit

I've been in existential crisis since having my daughter two years ago. I didn't used to care at all.

Reply

[-]

Queefofthenight@reddit

I'm not scared of it, it's happened to every living entity that has ever and will ever exist, we all have to go sometime and it's the fear of missing out on what could have been.. I am scared of how I die, I don't want to be in pain or die in some horrible way. The UK government won't allow for people with terrifying diseases that slowly and painfully kill them to end their lives which is a fucking inhumane, unethical and frankly disgusting stance. If I end up in that situation my partner knows my feelings about it and we've discussed our exit strategies for this.

Reply

[-]

Ulfgeirr88@reddit

It's something I had to make peace with from a very young age, so no, it doesn't scare me anymore. I think I got a bit broken along the way

Reply

[-]

lithaborn@reddit

Nothing I can do about it except make sure it doesn't happen too soon so no, it doesn't bother me. I'm 50 and I want to hang around long enough to see Halley's comet fur the second time, which is in 2064 or there abouts, then I'll be happy to go whenever fate is ready for me.

Reply

[-]

Alarmed-Examination5@reddit

For the most part no, but every now and again I'll just have random mental breakdowns trying to imagine nothing. Had one just today before I left for work.

Reply

[-]

BlakeC16@reddit

Yep. Not existing, not being there for my loved ones, not being able to enjoy any of the things I enjoy again, *not knowing what happens next*. All of it is so fundamentally terrifying that I try not to think of it.

Reply

[-]

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhh@reddit

I'm a heavy smoker, I drink a lot and I own multiple restaurants and bars, a catering jusiness and a fleet of food trucks and trailers, so I work myself into the ground 100+ hours a week... my life expectancy isn't gonna be High... but no I have zero fear of death. I work this hard so my family are supported and my kids will always have a home and business to run. I have good life insurance so they will be set for life when I die. Otherwise, I'm not religious or spiritual. Pretty sure once I croak, I won't be around to care. So no reason to worry. My main worry is how my family will cope, and making sure my kids and staff can handle the business without me (currently they wouldn't but I'm working on it massively) but they all know they are welcome to sell up, have a good list of interested buyers who won't fuck them over, and that I'll be in Ash form in a box and I wouldn't care how they choose to proceed.

Reply

[-]

IamEclipse@reddit

I'm 23, and it bothered me for a long time. Being dead doesn't seem so scary, I like sleeping, and just assume that it'll be like that. The thing that scares me if I think about it too hard is that it's always creeping closer, and is a permanent change. It's not like fear of heights, where I can just get used to it and get over it. Recently though, the fear has mostly evaporated. Don't get me wrong, I'd like to stick around for as long as possible, but I kind of like the thought that there is an ending to all of this someday.

Reply

[-]

nonotthereta@reddit

I don't fear being dead, and non-existence is easy to picture, but I absolutely fear the process of dying, especially if I had those moments of being consciously aware of my brain and body shutting down. It represents the ultimate loss of control, and the ultimate removal from everyone around you, with nobody able to help. That level of aloneness feels scary to me.

Reply

[-]

knightsbridge-@reddit

Eh... not really. Being dead seems pretty peaceful, and everyone dies. I don't think the end of one's life is something to be scared of. I certainly have some fears *related* to death. Is it going to hurt? Am I going to be in prolonged suffering? Am I going to lose myself to dementia before the end? I think those are normal things to worry about. I worry about my husband, how we'll do once the other is gone. On one hand, his death would ruin me with grief. On the other hand, maybe that would still be better than leaving him alone in the world without me? I don't know... it seems strange to me that uncountable lovers have navigated this problem before us, and we're still unprepared for it. I lost my grandma a few years ago - it was unexpected. I'd had family members die before, but always distant relatives that I could only feel vaguely sad for. This was the first death where I truly felt the gnawing emptiness of intense grief, and I didn't stop crying for *weeks*. It took months after the funeral before I could reliably go an entire day without shedding any tears. I don't want that for him, and yet I know that it's inevitable - his parents are both still alive, and in their 80s. It will happen, and probably in the next ten years, and there's nothing I can do about that either.

Reply

[-]

robertodurian@reddit

Death is a reality. It’s what gives us meaning right now. We should get the most out of our lives while we have the chance instead of worrying about death.

Reply

[-]

OldLondon@reddit

Am with you, having kids gives it a different dynamic. I mean of course I personally don’t want to die, I love being alive and while I know I won’t know anything about it it does give me an existential crisis to think about the things I’ll miss happening - like people on Mars and flying cars etc! But more so it’s knowing how upset (hopefully) my kids and wife will be and particularly how hard it will be for my wife living on her own. The whole thought is just awful. And yeah yeah “I won’t know about it, it’s inevitable” - I suspect a lot of those comments are from people who don’t have families or who haven’t lived through their parents dying. So yes OP - am with you 100%

Reply

[-]

ShitBritGit@reddit

I hope it's quick. And sooner rather than later. I've no partner or any dependants, so only a small few to disappoint with my passing.

Reply

[-]

Hankscorpio1349@reddit

Not really. It's the dying part I'm not looking forward to, and knowing that the world is going to keep going and I'm not going to be able to see it. I'd love to see what things look like in 500 or 1000 years time but I'm not going to get that option. I imagine people have always felt like this though. But being dead isn't something I worry about. It's going to happen to every single thing that ever lives.

Reply

[-]

CliffyGiro@reddit

I’m not fearful of it. Dying with absolutely no dignity and makes me feel a bit uncomfortable though. Have seen a lot of death in my time, definitely a lot more than the average person. I’ve seen people that have been dead for months without a neighbour or family member every checking on them. I’ve seen people half eaten by their pets. Getting dementia or being incontinent for years prior to death scares me. I pray to die peacefully in my sleep as an old man or in a blaze of glory as a middle aged man. I’ve been in couple of situations where I genuinely believed I was going to be killed, at the minute I feel to young to die, still have things to do but at the same time it doesn’t actually scare me.

Reply

[-]

AlecsThorne@reddit

I'm more scared of how I'll die rather than death itself. I don't know how that's gonna happen, obviously, that I'm worried about dying alone, or in massive pain. Death itself is just natural imo, so while hopefully still quite a few years till then (I'm only 34), I'll do my best to make sure that others won't be "inconvenienced" by my death. For example, if I'll be lucky enough to have a family like you, I don't want my death to be more of a burden than it has to be. Obviously it's going to be painful for them and they'll miss me (hopefully 😅), but I want to make sure they will be safe and taken care of afterwards. At least for the near future. So I'll take my grandpa's example and save money for my own funeral, and also my father's example to have a good life insurance, especially if I might be the bread winner in the family. In short, death is easy, dying is hard, but it's harder for those you leave behind.

Reply

[-]

Party_Divide_3491@reddit

Not scared at all. I wouldnt say I'm looking forward to it, or welcoming it, but part of me would enjoy the eternal rest and escape from this daily horrid grind.

Reply

[-]

HairyLeadership890@reddit

With my bills? Kind of looking forward too it

Reply

[-]

buymybone@reddit

Generally it's too abstract to inspire fear or anxiousness but I did have an extremely realistic dream where I died, hit by a car. That shook me up a bit. I think because it was the idea of dying at random in my prime.

Reply

[-]

MattSR30@reddit

Only sometimes when I dwell on certain aspects of it. Overall it doesn’t bother me much at all. Every once in a while I have a thought along the lines of ‘what if I’m 85 and I don’t feel like I’m at all done with living?’ That’s what scares me. I picture being an old man, sick of living, and it’s kind of funny. When I picture being an old man that feels like he’s out of time, it momentarily terrifies me.

Reply

[-]

HydroSandee@reddit

I’m terrified. I worry about how I will die - will it be painful? Will I die young? And absolutely terrified about what will come next. In my head, I don’t understand why (all living creatures) have evolved over thousands of years to survive. And, typically, will fight hard for that survival if what comes next is any good.

Reply

[-]

koalabear20@reddit

im not scared of death but i am scared of finding out im dying lol if that makes sense like i dont ever want to know i have x amount of time to live

Reply

[-]

stearrow@reddit

Yes. The thought of being a conscious being one second and then not being one the next is a very frightening thought.

Reply

[-]

CaptMelonfish@reddit

It'll certainly be a big fright at the time i'm sure, unless i'm expecting to go out, then likely not. Otherwise i'll go when I go, oddly I have major anxiety about a lot of stuff but death doesn't seem to be something I even care about.

Reply

[-]

Philip_J_Fry3000@reddit

I can't do anything about it so why should I be afraid? When my mother's time was near she didn't really have fear, she said her soul was ready for it but she was hanging on for us. I took her by the hand and told her she had my blessing to go anytime she was ready, I told her a bit of a lie and told her that I would be ok. She went into hospice and went to meet the train a few days later.

Reply

[-]

mortuaryrose@reddit

It's the decline to death that scares me. What pain and suffering am I going to endure before I reach the end.

Reply

[-]

hillbagger@reddit

There seems a reasonable chance that it will be preceeded by agony and/or terror. Other than that, no.

Reply

[-]

BaseballFuryThurman@reddit

I'm more scared of being in a situation where I know roughly when I'm going to die, i.e. being terminally ill etc. Death itself is just going to be like before we were born, as hard as it is to comprehend. We won't know we're dead, there'll just be no brain function. So if I went to sleep tonight and didn't wake back up, I wouldn't know it. I just hate the thought of knowing I'm dying. I also think it's my age, if I was 70-80 or maybe even in my 60s I'd be like meh, if I go tomorrow then whatever. I'm in my mid 30s so I still feel like there's a lot to do, see and experience so I'd hate to have my time cut short. But yeah, not afraid of being dead, just hope it isn't any time soon and when it does happen I hope I'm not too aware of when it's going to be.

Reply

[-]

another_online_idiot@reddit

The older I get the more I look forward to it. The thought of dying has never really scared me - but I always wanted to not get there. Now I think I will welcome it when it comes.

Reply

[-]

bornleverpuller85@reddit

No but getting old seriously does

Reply

[-]

Throwaway100562hd@reddit

>"Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it"

Reply

[-]

Nine_Eye_Ron@reddit

I’m not going to be around to worry about it so no.

Reply

[-]

walnutwithteeth@reddit

Death, no. I'll be dead so I won't know. Becoming so feeble that I can't look after myself is more of a concern. I don't want to become a burden on my loved ones. If it got to that stage, I'd rather not have medication that extends life at all. Just enough pain meds to keep me comfortable. I think people should be afforded the dignity of choosing how they go when it becomes clear that it won't be long.

Reply

[-]

frog_emergency@reddit

Not scared of it. Looking forward to it.

Reply