So best thing to do is right down everything youve done you were good at from primary school age(this will rewire your thoughts to show yourself you have achieved success)
Go for regular walks ideally in a forest, journal write down 3 things that made your day. Small wins etc..
Treat job hunting as a game as in expect 99 nos before you get a yes,
Take a step back, remember you’re amazing and more than your job.
You got it before, you’ll get it again, even if you stumble you’re still moving forward.
You’ve got this my friend.
Life is a game of snakes & ladders for everyone. Just cos you've fallen back it doesn't mean others won't either or you won't get a break again. It does suck in the moment though. Good luck
Take a deep breath. Your post reads as a spiral, which is understandable given the circumstances.
Redundancy is a loss and any loss needs to be grieved. You need to take time to do this otherwise it will blend into your applications and interviews.
You have had successful applications and interviews after only a month of job hunting. That is amazing and cause for celebration. It means your applications are good enough to get an interveiw and it may well mean your interviews are good too. Unfortunately interview are an on the day thing and sometimes even your best performance is not whst they are looking for. The fact that none were successful is disappointing and you are allowed to feel this alongside the grief at losing your dream job.
What I have found helpful (as i am going through the same thing currently)is to look at my skills and my transferable skills. You state you worked in a very niche role which may make this harder but try to also include your soft skills as well as sector based skills for the niche sector you worked in. I tend to list them, then pad them out with examples. Once I had that I looked of job roles (Ai/ Internet searches can help with this) that fit the skills. Then i sifted the sectors/employers down to ones i wanted to work for and have gone from there. I have also thought long and hard about what I want in a job - benefits, working hours, location etc.
It is hard and soul destroying at times. The relentless well meaning people are trying their best but if you aren't in it you have no idea. There is no shame in taking time to get your head straight and honestly if you are not okay it will shine through in interviews. I appreciate that is harder to do if you are also living off savings/redundancy money etc and are conscious that it is running down month on month.
Little things like taking regular breaks, exercise, eating well, talking to someone supportive about it all can help along with feeling the feelings (contrite I know but it does work). It is a life changing event, extremely stressful and can greatly effect your health if you let it.
It sounds like you have become a little fixated on what you had, try and look to the future and what you could progress onto. Don't worry about the lose in wages you can always work your way back up!
I'm being made redundant from my current job which I love, I have taken on an apprenticeship at the age of 37 to learn new skills which in turn means I am taking over a 30k pay cut, yes I've got my severance to help top my wages up. However once I've completed the apprenticeship I'll be not to far off where I was but with a whole new set of skill in a new industry where I'll be able to progress.
"I have a general lack of hard skills; Why can't I get my dream job?" is quite a question. I think you should look for something that will enable you to develop some hard skills, and work your way up from there.
I would also advocate that you look after yourself by taking the advice that works for you in this thread then take it down, you don't need to sit looking at people taking the piss out of you whilst you feel like this too but that will happen if it stays up.
No offence meant, look after yourself.
My only advice is compare yourself to yesterday not where you were at your peak.
The same is true for fitness and anything else in life.
As you go through life everyone will have peaks and troughs.
Good luck
I had the exact same thing happen to me. Dream job, also doing projects above my qualification level and I was made redundant due to Board politics (the job is still needed in reality as now they've got students doing my projects and the head of R&D is back in the lab).
Difference is that I was offered a different position in the same company doing something completely different that I had no interest or experience in. Ultimately I had to take it because the job market was (and still is) awful in my area and I was in the process of getting a mortgage.
I've worked that job for over a year now and it's been tough being so close to my dream job and not being able to do it. Going from trying to cure cancer to being berated for forgetting the milk is pretty depressing and I won't lie, I dread going to work every single day.
I still don't enjoy the job I do and the job market is still awful but I've been applying to jobs here (like you the job is niche, I simply cannot apply to 50 jobs a week or something, the jobs don't exist). Also these jobs wont' have the same day to day as the old dream job as I was doing stuff above my qualification and pay grade. So even if I get one, I'll be taking a step back doing much mkre mundane work.
I've decided the best option to get back to doing what I want is going back to uni and getting a PhD even though living off a stipend is going to be extremely shit, I've got to do it to have any real shread of hope to get back to the career I love. And that's if I'm even able to get a PhD! In my lab most of the PhD students are self funded these days! But if I give up hope I'll go insane!
So what I'm trying to say is sometimes you need to take a few steps back get where you want to be again. Take a shitty job and apply in the background and build your CV out by learning more in your spare time while still earning a wage and try to keep hope you'll get back there some time. I won't lie, it's been really rough and I've had some mental lows but not many people get to find a career they are passionate about, so people like you and I are lucky in thay way.
I've lost my dream job before, twice. I can't deny that it's rough!
It's important not to be harsh on yourself. See your family, see your friends. Eventually you'll get back on your feet.
You now have the relevant experience under your belt to find a replacement similar dream job, so you are in a better position than before.. widen your net for job search.
I rate a lot of the advice you're getting here.
The thing you have to remember is that you've already climbed that mountain and reached what you consider the peak (dream job). Although you've had a set back, you're still very close to the peak AND you've got experience and understanding of how to reach that peak. You're still extremely valuable, you both have knowledge of the way up and how it works at the peak.
Don't beat yourself up. You have experience and you have already managed to get a job in that sector. That means even if your job is your value, you've managed to get a job in that sector before and you worked in that job.
It might feel a bit rough right now but you've not gone back to 0%, you're still 90% there. You have all the components, you just need 1 yes.
Like in dating, whether you're rejected once or 1 million times will be irrelevant once you find one yes.
Remember “there’s no point in moaning because no one actually cares”. That was a quote my old boss said to me lol. Just crack on mate, stiff upper lip and all that
If you can afford a session or two, I'd recommend some career coaching. It sounds like nonsense but a good career coach will absolutely find what you valued in that job and suggest types of jobs that may not be superficially similar, but will feel like a "dream job".
Therapy might also be helpful.
At least you know what you want to do now. Many people never figure that out and just drift from job to job. Whatever the niche role / industry you are in there must be other companies that do the same? You have a long term career goal now. So you have long term plans to start making, plus other qualifications or skills to develop.
Eventually you may find you start your own company doing whatever ‘it’ is, if you feel so passionate about it, you won’t be satisfied working for anyone else.
I’m in my fifties and lost a couple of ‘dream jobs’ over the decades. They were good pay, good pensions, interesting work and good people. I honestly thought I would do them till I retired - didn’t happen. Ended up starting my own small business- never would have happened if I hadn’t lost my dream job.
Work 4 hours a day on networking and applying and work 4 hours a day building a business of your own you can and want to do. Solve someone’s problems. Post on FB, Nextdoor app, I sold a truck in 2 days by posting on a bulletin board last month because I knew my audience.
If it’s digital then I’m sure you know where to post your availability and skills. You’re going to have to freelance for a bit or figure out how to build something. Doesn’t even have to be in your industry. Plenty of people going out and doing service jobs and learning and then starting their own company - easy $50-100k first year. Anyway I could go on forever about this.
And to the “how the fuck am I supposed to motivate myself into doing well,” - well if it’s in your industry - TAKE IT! Job hop up the chain every 8-18 months. I see it online all the time, look it up. In 5 yrs go from $50k to $200k by just getting in the door and being a great employee. You are using them to build the step you will step up from, not there to have validation from anyone or to care about their product. Be a bee in the hive and eat healthy and work out. Learn EVERYTHING you can and volunteer for everything!
Then the next step up is to find a job that fits those skills but in a higher position, showing you’ve already accomplished xyz over here but you took what could pay the mortgage and you are now looking for a position within a company with more…. substance to what they do.
That next step will welcome you with open arms. But know your worth, don’t let them low ball you and overwork you. Some will pounce on the opportunity but companies with integrity will understand your intention will give you a fair next step.
I hope you truly take this to heart. Whatever you believe in - God, higher power, destiny, whatever - this door has been staying closed to you. What else in your life is pulling at you? Where are you lying to yourself? What are your intentions? Start there and see what your future path truly looks like and feels like to you. Find your truth and envision it until it feels real, it will come.
As someone in their mid fifties hubby and I are currently in that phase where we are working out which pensions to claim at what point and if and when we reduce our hours and when we finally retire.
Looking back over the years we have both had jobs we did not enjoy that we did for the money.
Hubby had a three year period where he was made redundant 3 times. He used some redundancy to set up his own business which did pretty well and then covid hit and killed it. He ended up doing something completely different for the local health services which involved wearing PPE a lot of the day and was not very well paid. There have been times where one or both of us were on good money and times on minimum wage over the years. We had 4 kids so there have been times where we both had extra jobs doing minimum wage stuff to help cover household bills. Times where he worked full time then came home and did minimum wage stuff wage stuff so I could be out off work looking after the kids.
Times where he would come in at 6pm and I would hand over the kids and go to an evening/night job.
We did what we needed to, to have the house, kids and life we wanted. Not all jobs were the best nor the most enjoyable and even though we both now are in a good place, no mortgage looking at finalising our pension plans kids all in late teens or grown up and now grandparents, all jobs enjoy some periods where you don’t enjoy at least parts of it.
The one thing we both say no matter what is we have always worked to live, never lived to work. Even the best jobs should be a way to fund the life and future you want. No one lies of their death bed thinking about their dream job or work they have done, it’s the people you shared your life with and the experiences and memories you had.
This is a tiny blip in a hopefully long life and in 5 years you will look back and laugh at this. Work on your life outside work and find something to get the money coming back in for now .
I was made redundant from my dream job. 6 years later and I have travelled the world, doubled my salary and got into a very comfortable career that many other people would consider a dream job.
I have never, ever gotten over it. I grieve for it constantly and I don't really feel hopeful or happy anymore, I'm just in a numb survival mode.
I have no idea how to bounce back emotionally, but practically, flexibility is key. Being open to new industries and willing to retrain puts you ahead of the rest. Many people aren't adaptable, so if you can learn to be, you'll have a huge advantage.
(For some added context, I'm 32, landed my dream job at 20 and was made redundant at 26).
Please allow yourself to cry, it's not fair, but unfortunately life isn't fair at all. Take care of yourself and your mental health. Sending you lots of strength.
You have to accept that this situation fucking sucks! You’re right to feel shit, because it is shit. Have a good’ol cry.. it’ll make you feel better!
Once you’ve had a cry and feel a tiny bit better.. you have to really find the strength to do constructive things. Park the job search for a minute. Clean the house, sort the garden, prepare a really nice tea for you and your wife. Spoil her with time and attention. You don’t mention if you have kids but if you do, spend good quality phone’less time with them.
Just remind yourself that this situation is 100% temporary. It’s obvious something will crop up and in the meantime.. take advantage of the break!
Look after yourself. 👊❤️
Just to add to this.. I would avoid putting your previous job up on a pedestal of being the “dream job” you now aspire to. The stone cold fact is; it wasn’t the dream job. A dream job doesn’t expose you to unexpected redundancy. So with hindsight, it was in fact a shit job that’s caused you despair, and now doesn’t exist by virtue of its shitty redundancy risk aspects. A dream job it is / was not.
If they couldn’t find a way to keep you on.. with your niche skills… well fuck them! Somewhere else definitely will. 👊
You mention you don’t want to get sucked into a minimum wage job and I get what you mean but think about doing a completely not your usual type of thing temporary job over the Summer to keep the money coming in like Summer camps, event staffing, holiday let cleaning etc. none of which are probably what you want to do but bring cash in without being a poor version of what your dream job is and are easy to leave or get time off from for interviews.
Life is up and down, something that helped me was to pick the highest priority objective and focus on that one goal.
You don't have time to berate yourself and question what went wrong. You only have an opportunity to bounce back.
So what if your next immediate job isn't your dream job? Guess what, you'll always have another shot at something bigger.
What you thought was a dream job yesterday is actually a smaller (fraction) of what you can aim for today.
So go out and work on picking yourself back up. You're still the same guy. You still have the same intellect. You still have the same experiences. Use those to your advantage.
You haven't "lost" anything because it's not the job which defines you. It is possible you've only lost your trust in yourself to be the most productive self. That could be because you didn't expect to lose your job.
That's why you've got to focus on your next objective.
You haven't really gone "up" or "down", you're still the same person as a year ago, but with a year's worth of extra experience.
As long as you tell yourself to stay confident and maintain a strong sense of enthusiasm, then you're still at the same level. That is wether you sweep the roads or secure a zillion dollar business deal.
Life isn't a straight line upwards. You can't expect to be in the same job your whole life. You can't expect to be in a bad spot your whole life, either.
You just need to make the right choices and do good unto others as you do for yourself. Soon you'll look back at today and think, what was I even worried about? You probably won't even remember.
But you will remember the day you chose to work hard and stay confident. Those are the moments that count, but you've got to do the hard work so whatever happens, make it count.
And always be good to others. That part's crucial, so you don't affect others when you do feel bad about something.
I think you are having a bit of a meltdown. Take a day or two to calm down. Deep breaths. See family or friends. Spend a day in the park.
I’d also consider taking this down. We don’t know who you are, but you’ll get a lot of feedback taking the piss out of what can be a worrying concern but at 3:30 in the morning.
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