TheaterFire

How can I impress a British guy?

Posted by classicdillema211@reddit | AskABrit | View on Reddit | 85 comments

I really want to move to the UK so I need some authentic tips

Reply to Post

85 Comments

Worldly_Let6134@reddit

Cook for us. Serve it with a cold beer that isn't brewed in Northampton or share a decent bottle of wine. Parallel park first time.
View on Reddit #87632701

classicdillema211@reddit (OP)

Lucky for me I come from a country where you drive on the left and I can parallel park
View on Reddit #87632997

Worldly_Let6134@reddit

That indeed is a rare talent. Although there's a rich vein of cynicism in most Brits, so usually evidence is required before being believed..... I find myself intrigued by which particular country you are coming from, as you seem to be being a little elusive.
View on Reddit #87634025

classicdillema211@reddit (OP)

I'm from India
View on Reddit #87634085

Worldly_Let6134@reddit

Oh, that's not what I was expecting - you guys drive on whichever side of the road suits 😂 😉 Even more kudos for the parallel parking 😎
View on Reddit #87634376

classicdillema211@reddit (OP)

Idk who told you that 😭 in my city people drive properly 😭. And I learnt parallel parking because my brother challenged me girls can't do it so I learnt it just to prove him wrong
View on Reddit #87634493

Worldly_Let6134@reddit

The wink emoji was meant to help convey the joking/teasing nature of my comment that could not be carried by tone or body language. Was not meant as an insult. Although there are some cities where the driving is perhaps a little less refined than your one. I like the style 😎
View on Reddit #87635092

Nervous_Tourist_8699@reddit

As s British guy, the best pick up line at 2.00am was “I have Match of the Day recorded and beer in the fridge, do you want to come to my place?”. 100% chance of success.
View on Reddit #87634966

asymmetricears@reddit

Shove a lit flare up your bum, although that only works for English men.
View on Reddit #87631731

classicdillema211@reddit (OP)

??
View on Reddit #87632103

asymmetricears@reddit

It's a traditional activity men do when supporting the England football team, although it can be done for club teams as well. Joining in shows that you're "one of the lads" and up for a good laugh, which will impress them.
View on Reddit #87634938

New_Line4049@reddit

You cant. We can see the most amazing things and describe them as "Not too bad"
View on Reddit #87632321

classicdillema211@reddit (OP)

That's too bad.
View on Reddit #87632554

New_Line4049@reddit

It is what it is init.
View on Reddit #87634918

jabertsohn@reddit

British men are really impressed by backflips. You should learn to do a backflip.
View on Reddit #87631439

classicdillema211@reddit (OP)

Ik how to do that 🥴😂
View on Reddit #87631983

m_leo89@reddit

Then you are fucked.
View on Reddit #87634880

kilgore_trout1@reddit

I’m getting more into front flips these days.
View on Reddit #87634435

classicdillema211@reddit (OP)

I can do splits and a bunch of other stuff
View on Reddit #87631996

Alien-lifeform666@reddit

No, that’s ostentatious and not the classy, understated act that a true Brit would appreciate. A simple backflip and the ability to make perfect cucumber sandwiches and a pot of tea. That’ll bag you a true English gent.
View on Reddit #87632638

cymruaj@reddit

That'll do
View on Reddit #87632088

FreeShat@reddit

Rolly pollys p sick too
View on Reddit #87631621

OneNormalBloke@reddit

You want a British guy just to move to the UK?
View on Reddit #87631518

classicdillema211@reddit (OP)

I mean I'm I'll move to the UK so might as well learn how to impress some huzz. I don't wanna be single there
View on Reddit #87632136

Slight-Brush@reddit

You mean you're you'll move here?
View on Reddit #87633699

TaffWaffler@reddit

I don’t think anyone has ever meant to say that
View on Reddit #87634750

classicdillema211@reddit (OP)

Yea I'll probably. A lot of my cousins and I basically have a support system there.
View on Reddit #87633919

Due_Dot5710@reddit

Do you have breasts? We like them
View on Reddit #87632394

classicdillema211@reddit (OP)

I got everything men like to lay their head on
View on Reddit #87632522

Due_Dot5710@reddit

Ah I see you also have pine cones
View on Reddit #87632578

classicdillema211@reddit (OP)

Idk what that means but I got the tits and the ass 🥴
View on Reddit #87633066

Due_Dot5710@reddit

Ha! Classic dill, Emma. Bring them to my house for inspection and I'll let you see my pine cone collection
View on Reddit #87633241

Due_Dot5710@reddit

P.S. lads was I supposed to slide in to the DMs at this point?
View on Reddit #87633541

jabertsohn@reddit

She's 17
View on Reddit #87633693

ohmygodadameget@reddit

Stone.
View on Reddit #87634730

kilgore_trout1@reddit

I’m getting a word…
View on Reddit #87634605

SaltyName8341@reddit

We are simple creatures
View on Reddit #87632787

sbaldrick33@reddit

Depends. If you're American, you've got your work cut out.
View on Reddit #87631682

classicdillema211@reddit (OP)

Unfortunately I'm not
View on Reddit #87634243

sbaldrick33@reddit

Nothing unfortunate about that.
View on Reddit #87634540

Time-Mode-9@reddit

Learn how to say "are you alright" without using any consonants 
View on Reddit #87634342

Mephistopheles_451@reddit

Get bladdered, sit on a bench and start arguing with pigeons at the top of your voice. Bonus points if you win the argument.
View on Reddit #87634277

Around-3-ish@reddit

Burp his name.
View on Reddit #87631599

OrganizationOk5418@reddit

At least learn to burp "bollocks" first.
View on Reddit #87632131

jabertsohn@reddit

If we're going back to first principles here, learn to burp "burp". Not everyone is as cultured as us, and they might not even have that one mastered.
View on Reddit #87634230

Jorisfrombelgium@reddit

Chance would be a fine thing!
View on Reddit #87634181

SaltyName8341@reddit

A good right hook and the ability to cook a full English.
View on Reddit #87632656

classicdillema211@reddit (OP)

What's right hook
View on Reddit #87632955

SaltyName8341@reddit

A punch
View on Reddit #87633206

jabertsohn@reddit

A right handed punch, and not one of them straight ones.
View on Reddit #87634053

68_namfloW@reddit

Take the piss out of him harder than he takes the piss out of you.
View on Reddit #87633870

you-effing-numpty@reddit

I love it when ladies challenge me to a dance-off in the street, preferably outside Sainsbury's.
View on Reddit #87631614

Slight-Brush@reddit

Amd a meal deal after
View on Reddit #87633613

Southernbeekeeper@reddit

The first step is to stop hiding your post history. That don't impress a'me much.
View on Reddit #87631985

classicdillema211@reddit (OP)

Why won't I hide it? 😭 Trust me sire you don't wanna see what I post
View on Reddit #87632262

Southernbeekeeper@reddit

Coward.
View on Reddit #87633419

classicdillema211@reddit (OP)

Well I like to maintain privacy
View on Reddit #87633483

Mean-Aside1970@reddit

all these answers are just reminding me why i prefer dating English guys to guys from my culture. these answers are brilliant
View on Reddit #87632716

classicdillema211@reddit (OP)

Fr 🤣😭 I hope I get a english humored guy to lighten my mood
View on Reddit #87632914

Mean-Aside1970@reddit

tbh they’re all just dry and sarcastic as fuck, and borderline rude but it’s way more amusing that Greeks trying to be funny😂just can’t stand Greek humour
View on Reddit #87633111

Shoddy-Landscape-773@reddit

Humour, wit and matching him drink for drink
View on Reddit #87631873

classicdillema211@reddit (OP)

I can't drink too much.
View on Reddit #87632047

SaltyName8341@reddit

Get training then
View on Reddit #87632706

Lynex_Lineker_Smith@reddit

15 day account . Hmmmmm
View on Reddit #87632078

classicdillema211@reddit (OP)

My last one I deleted it cuz I was getting too many nsfw dms
View on Reddit #87632215

Lynex_Lineker_Smith@reddit

Ohhhhhh 😕
View on Reddit #87632399

classicdillema211@reddit (OP)

Yea that's when I learnt it's not a good idea to participate in nsfw subreddits
View on Reddit #87632499

SnooDonuts6494@reddit

I have no idea. I don't know if its possible. As an English person, I've never been impressed in my life.
View on Reddit #87631489

front-wipers-unite@reddit

The sun came out for three days last week, I was very nearly impressed, but it was just too hot.
View on Reddit #87631733

Renew3DUK@reddit

I'm usually impressed by how unimpressive things are.
View on Reddit #87632002

front-wipers-unite@reddit

This is going to make me sound like such a philistine now, but when I went to Rome, marvellous, can't recommend it enough. I was so fucking unimpressed with the Spanish steps. It's just a big set of marble stairs.
View on Reddit #87632384

underwater-sunlight@reddit

Know the various local names for a bread roll and dont confuse them. Calling it a cob in barm town could see you receive a barrage of head shakes and tuts
View on Reddit #87632358

razzdings@reddit

If you try to impress a British guy, you won't impress a British guy.
View on Reddit #87632320

JimmyTheDevil@reddit

I, as a british man, can’t resist a girl that is proficient in the lost art of elbow licking. If you can master this, any british man will fall at your feet.
View on Reddit #87631568

classicdillema211@reddit (OP)

Good lord these replies are killing me
View on Reddit #87632085

noemotionsnofeelings@reddit

If you good at corry licking, that one is always impressive
View on Reddit #87632261

cymruaj@reddit

As in, licking their own, or playing the game lick the elbow?
View on Reddit #87632132

Mean-Aside1970@reddit

what about if she can touch the top of her shoulders with the palms of her hands?
View on Reddit #87632045

Jack-Rabbit-002@reddit

Can you neck a pint and take a shot through the eye ball .....All at the same time! 😅 No we come as varied as anyone else man We are not a collective hive mind despite how long we had a Queen
View on Reddit #87632087

Clive_Trotter75@reddit

Drink 8 pints then have a large doner.
View on Reddit #87631727

OrganizationOk5418@reddit

Then a dalliance behind some bins, without dropping your kebab.
View on Reddit #87632070

Significant_Ad_7063@reddit

Brittish people dont really get impressed its not in our nature/Culture. But you definatly need to learn the art of sarcasm to survive here X'D. If we bully you n insult you it means your in.
View on Reddit #87632061

front-wipers-unite@reddit

As an Englishman the only time I've ever been impressed my entire life was when I saw this Irish chick that I used to kick about with neck a pint, then ask for a second and neck that too. She was a savage.
View on Reddit #87631867

mralistair@reddit

learn how to do a sweet jump
View on Reddit #87631765

qualityvote2@reddit

Hello u/classicdillema211! Welcome to r/AskABrit! --- For other users, does this post fit the subreddit? If so, **upvote this comment!** Otherwise, **downvote this comment!** And if it does break the rules, **downvote this comment and report this post!**
View on Reddit #87631321