How can I impress a British guy?

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Worldly_Let6134@reddit

Cook for us. Serve it with a cold beer that isn't brewed in Northampton or share a decent bottle of wine. Parallel park first time.

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classicdillema211@reddit (OP)

Lucky for me I come from a country where you drive on the left and I can parallel park

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That indeed is a rare talent. Although there's a rich vein of cynicism in most Brits, so usually evidence is required before being believed..... I find myself intrigued by which particular country you are coming from, as you seem to be being a little elusive.

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classicdillema211@reddit (OP)

I'm from India

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Worldly_Let6134@reddit

Oh, that's not what I was expecting - you guys drive on whichever side of the road suits 😂 😉 Even more kudos for the parallel parking 😎

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classicdillema211@reddit (OP)

Idk who told you that 😭 in my city people drive properly 😭. And I learnt parallel parking because my brother challenged me girls can't do it so I learnt it just to prove him wrong

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Worldly_Let6134@reddit

The wink emoji was meant to help convey the joking/teasing nature of my comment that could not be carried by tone or body language. Was not meant as an insult. Although there are some cities where the driving is perhaps a little less refined than your one. I like the style 😎

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Nervous_Tourist_8699@reddit

As s British guy, the best pick up line at 2.00am was “I have Match of the Day recorded and beer in the fridge, do you want to come to my place?”. 100% chance of success.

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asymmetricears@reddit

Shove a lit flare up your bum, although that only works for English men.

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classicdillema211@reddit (OP)

??

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asymmetricears@reddit

It's a traditional activity men do when supporting the England football team, although it can be done for club teams as well. Joining in shows that you're "one of the lads" and up for a good laugh, which will impress them.

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New_Line4049@reddit

You cant. We can see the most amazing things and describe them as "Not too bad"

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classicdillema211@reddit (OP)

That's too bad.

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New_Line4049@reddit

It is what it is init.

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jabertsohn@reddit

British men are really impressed by backflips. You should learn to do a backflip.

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classicdillema211@reddit (OP)

Ik how to do that 🥴😂

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m_leo89@reddit

Then you are fucked.

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kilgore_trout1@reddit

I’m getting more into front flips these days.

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classicdillema211@reddit (OP)

I can do splits and a bunch of other stuff

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Alien-lifeform666@reddit

No, that’s ostentatious and not the classy, understated act that a true Brit would appreciate. A simple backflip and the ability to make perfect cucumber sandwiches and a pot of tea. That’ll bag you a true English gent.

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cymruaj@reddit

That'll do

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FreeShat@reddit

Rolly pollys p sick too

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OneNormalBloke@reddit

You want a British guy just to move to the UK?

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classicdillema211@reddit (OP)

I mean I'm I'll move to the UK so might as well learn how to impress some huzz. I don't wanna be single there

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Slight-Brush@reddit

You mean you're you'll move here?

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TaffWaffler@reddit

I don’t think anyone has ever meant to say that

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classicdillema211@reddit (OP)

Yea I'll probably. A lot of my cousins and I basically have a support system there.

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Due_Dot5710@reddit

Do you have breasts? We like them

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classicdillema211@reddit (OP)

I got everything men like to lay their head on

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Due_Dot5710@reddit

Ah I see you also have pine cones

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classicdillema211@reddit (OP)

Idk what that means but I got the tits and the ass 🥴

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Due_Dot5710@reddit

Ha! Classic dill, Emma. Bring them to my house for inspection and I'll let you see my pine cone collection

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Due_Dot5710@reddit

P.S. lads was I supposed to slide in to the DMs at this point?

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jabertsohn@reddit

She's 17

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ohmygodadameget@reddit

Stone.

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kilgore_trout1@reddit

I’m getting a word…

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SaltyName8341@reddit

We are simple creatures

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sbaldrick33@reddit

Depends. If you're American, you've got your work cut out.

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classicdillema211@reddit (OP)

Unfortunately I'm not

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sbaldrick33@reddit

Nothing unfortunate about that.

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Time-Mode-9@reddit

Learn how to say "are you alright" without using any consonants

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Mephistopheles_451@reddit

Get bladdered, sit on a bench and start arguing with pigeons at the top of your voice. Bonus points if you win the argument.

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Around-3-ish@reddit

Burp his name.

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OrganizationOk5418@reddit

At least learn to burp "bollocks" first.

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jabertsohn@reddit

If we're going back to first principles here, learn to burp "burp". Not everyone is as cultured as us, and they might not even have that one mastered.

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Jorisfrombelgium@reddit

Chance would be a fine thing!

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SaltyName8341@reddit

A good right hook and the ability to cook a full English.

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classicdillema211@reddit (OP)

What's right hook

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SaltyName8341@reddit

A punch

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jabertsohn@reddit

A right handed punch, and not one of them straight ones.

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68_namfloW@reddit

Take the piss out of him harder than he takes the piss out of you.

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you-effing-numpty@reddit

I love it when ladies challenge me to a dance-off in the street, preferably outside Sainsbury's.

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Slight-Brush@reddit

Amd a meal deal after

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Southernbeekeeper@reddit

The first step is to stop hiding your post history. That don't impress a'me much.

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classicdillema211@reddit (OP)

Why won't I hide it? 😭 Trust me sire you don't wanna see what I post

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Southernbeekeeper@reddit

Coward.

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classicdillema211@reddit (OP)

Well I like to maintain privacy

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Mean-Aside1970@reddit

all these answers are just reminding me why i prefer dating English guys to guys from my culture. these answers are brilliant

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classicdillema211@reddit (OP)

Fr 🤣😭 I hope I get a english humored guy to lighten my mood

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Mean-Aside1970@reddit

tbh they’re all just dry and sarcastic as fuck, and borderline rude but it’s way more amusing that Greeks trying to be funny😂just can’t stand Greek humour

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Shoddy-Landscape-773@reddit

Humour, wit and matching him drink for drink

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classicdillema211@reddit (OP)

I can't drink too much.

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SaltyName8341@reddit

Get training then

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Lynex_Lineker_Smith@reddit

15 day account . Hmmmmm

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classicdillema211@reddit (OP)

My last one I deleted it cuz I was getting too many nsfw dms

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Lynex_Lineker_Smith@reddit

Ohhhhhh 😕

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classicdillema211@reddit (OP)

Yea that's when I learnt it's not a good idea to participate in nsfw subreddits

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SnooDonuts6494@reddit

I have no idea. I don't know if its possible. As an English person, I've never been impressed in my life.

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front-wipers-unite@reddit

The sun came out for three days last week, I was very nearly impressed, but it was just too hot.

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Renew3DUK@reddit

I'm usually impressed by how unimpressive things are.

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front-wipers-unite@reddit

This is going to make me sound like such a philistine now, but when I went to Rome, marvellous, can't recommend it enough. I was so fucking unimpressed with the Spanish steps. It's just a big set of marble stairs.

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underwater-sunlight@reddit

Know the various local names for a bread roll and dont confuse them. Calling it a cob in barm town could see you receive a barrage of head shakes and tuts

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razzdings@reddit

If you try to impress a British guy, you won't impress a British guy.

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JimmyTheDevil@reddit

I, as a british man, can’t resist a girl that is proficient in the lost art of elbow licking. If you can master this, any british man will fall at your feet.

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classicdillema211@reddit (OP)

Good lord these replies are killing me

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noemotionsnofeelings@reddit

If you good at corry licking, that one is always impressive

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cymruaj@reddit

As in, licking their own, or playing the game lick the elbow?

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Mean-Aside1970@reddit

what about if she can touch the top of her shoulders with the palms of her hands?

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Jack-Rabbit-002@reddit

Can you neck a pint and take a shot through the eye ball .....All at the same time! 😅 No we come as varied as anyone else man We are not a collective hive mind despite how long we had a Queen

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Clive_Trotter75@reddit

Drink 8 pints then have a large doner.

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OrganizationOk5418@reddit

Then a dalliance behind some bins, without dropping your kebab.

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Significant_Ad_7063@reddit

Brittish people dont really get impressed its not in our nature/Culture. But you definatly need to learn the art of sarcasm to survive here X'D. If we bully you n insult you it means your in.

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front-wipers-unite@reddit

As an Englishman the only time I've ever been impressed my entire life was when I saw this Irish chick that I used to kick about with neck a pint, then ask for a second and neck that too. She was a savage.

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mralistair@reddit

learn how to do a sweet jump

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qualityvote2@reddit

Hello u/classicdillema211! Welcome to r/AskABrit! --- For other users, does this post fit the subreddit? If so, **upvote this comment!** Otherwise, **downvote this comment!** And if it does break the rules, **downvote this comment and report this post!**

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