What’s the obsession with getting a baby’s ear pierced?

Posted by teesthatgirl25@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 380 comments

Not sure if I’m in the right place but what is the obsession with getting a babies ear pierced? I don’t have any problem with anyone who wants to do to pierce their child’s ear but I don’t want to do it to mine. My auntie has been on at me for the last few months about when I’ll be getting my daughter (7 months) ears pierced. I’ve told her no she won’t be getting her ears pierced and she keeps telling she is and she’ll just take her to get them done. Everytime I see my friend, she also ask aswell. I’m wondering what the obsession is with getting a babies ear pierced.

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Nice_Back_9977@reddit

Obsession? Its very uncommon these days, for obvious reasons! Are you by any chance part of a minority community where its more common? Irish traveller perhaps?

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Bitter_Tradition_938@reddit

Various cultures, including billions of people, do this. I’m not saying it’s wrong or it’s right, I’m just saying your ignorance is showing when you assume it’s a “minority” thing.

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Nice_Back_9977@reddit

It is in the UK Its wrong.

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Bitter_Tradition_938@reddit

Mate, the UK is a multicultural country. And before you define the rules for me, try learning how to spell.

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Nice_Back_9977@reddit

Yes it is, but only a tiny minority of the people who live here pierce their baby's ears. Piercing shops generally won't do it before about 11-12.

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Bitter_Tradition_938@reddit

So 1 in 6 is “tiny”? Ok.

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Nice_Back_9977@reddit

You think 1 in 6 baby girls have their ears pierced in the UK?

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Bitter_Tradition_938@reddit

I don’t assume. I took the smallest number available, as the numbers presented in scientific literature vary. For example, a randomised study performed in Wrexham found that 80% out of 88 British girls under 6 selected for said study had their ears pierced before the age of 6. Now, given the small sample size, I don’t find that number to be reliable. After reading different articles, I settled for the smallest number presented, which was 17%. But that’s me, I actually read, as opposed to just assuming and talking s*ite on Reddit.

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Nice_Back_9977@reddit

A 'randomised study'. Haha! What was the randomisation to?

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Bitter_Tradition_938@reddit

Oh, bless you…

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RBisoldandtired@reddit

You’re wasting your time replying to a chronically online person with absolutely zero clue about the reality of life outside of their bubble and who doesn’t realise that time existed in the 80s 90s and 00s

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Prestigious-Pear627@reddit

Like so many people in the US who think that the US invented slavery snd treat minorities worse than any other country in the world. I consider myself educated, but I learned recently that Brazil received more slaves from West Africa than any other country and was very late in abolishing slavery.

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pajamakitten@reddit

Definitely smaller than five out of six.

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RBisoldandtired@reddit

You’re obviously younger because this was a very common thing among white British parents back in the 80s and 90s.

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Nice_Back_9977@reddit

I’m in my forties, even when I was a kid it wasn’t ’very common’ but yes it was more of a thing back then. I’m talking about now.

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RBisoldandtired@reddit

Yet you make outrageous comments about to being mostly ethnic minorities. Do better.

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Dutch_Slim@reddit

It’s traditionally a usual working class thing to do. I was the outlier in my family as my mum didn’t agree with babies having their ears pierced. My kids are the outliers in my husband’s family for the same reason. The general thinking is they won’t remember it hurting!

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Valuable_One_1011@reddit

Incredibly common in North America too. It’s interesting how strongly people do not agree with the practice here.

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Bitter_Tradition_938@reddit

I don’t mind them disagreeing, it’s a personal choice. What I do find baffling is the lack of knowledge and understanding when it comes to this practice being common in other countries. We keep making fun of USA citizens being absurdly ignorant when it comes to anything “not American” and it turns out we are exactly the same…

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Ch1pp@reddit

> What I do find baffling is the lack of knowledge and understanding when it comes to this practice being common in other countries. It's not a matter of ignorance. It's a question of consent. A baby can't consent to having holes punched in its flesh so most of us consider it wrong. Other cultures maybe don't feel strongly about consent or women having a say over their own bodies so they wouldn't consider it wrong however from our perspective where women are treated more equally it will obviously be considered more objectionable.

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Bitter_Tradition_938@reddit

You did not understand a word from my comment above…

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goodpuffin1@reddit

Your name is ironic here

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Prestigious-Pear627@reddit

I live in the US, and I don’t see a lot of “white” babies with their ears pierced. It’s common among Spanish speakers and some other people of color. I’m white and my daughters got their ears pierced when they asked (ages 6, 8, 12). But I see a logic to doing it as a baby because they don’t have memory, so the pain is fleeting. And it’s easy to care for when they can’t use their hands to mess with their ears. I had my only son circumcised because I believe it’s cleaner. There are also lower rates of penile cancer and passing an STD to a partner. Two of my grandsons are not circumcised and my daughter regretted it because when her son was 8, he told her it was”stinky”. He’s 11 now and I haven’t heard any more about it, so hopefully now he can retract the foreskin fully and get it clean under there

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Valuable_One_1011@reddit

It was common when I grew up in Anchorage and in California. And yes, much of the reasoning was what you mentioned.

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amBrollachan@reddit

Most of these cultures would be a minority in the UK. That doesn't make it wrong of course, but the person you're replying to is not being ignorant to suggest it's a minority practice in the UK.

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Bitter_Tradition_938@reddit

I would not call 1 in 6 a minority…

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amBrollachan@reddit

Nobody says minorities have to be "insignificant". This is a really weird angle.

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Bitter_Tradition_938@reddit

Minority is anything below 51%. I never said a minority is insignificant. But you can have a minority of a few percents (and this is what most people here claim, that it’s a tiny, insignificant number) or a minority of 15-20% which cannot be classified as “tiny”, no matter how one looks at it. All I’ve said is that 1 in 6 is A LOT. The “minorities being insignificant” is not my angle, it’s the angle of people I’m contradicting.

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amBrollachan@reddit

You're arguing against points nobody has made.

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ImportantAd6193@reddit

It’s very funny

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Darth-Naver@reddit

Yes. I am from Spain and it was very common to have girls ears pierced when they are babies so that they can wear earrings. When I was a child pretty much all girls wore earrings and most of them would have been pierced as babies or infants (I have absolutely no idea how common is nowadays)

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Clintkid@reddit

Still common I find for younger mothers, who love to dress their kids in branded clothes. Like those chavvy mothers too

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C1t1zen_Erased@reddit

Frightfully common indeed I dare say.

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Ragingdildo3@reddit

I once saw a traveler girl with a child that had a nose piricing the child was no older than 3 lol

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Logbotherer99@reddit

Its child abuse and should be illegal

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void1101@reddit

Child abuse ? Good god what has happened to people these days.

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Affectionate-Owl9594@reddit

Piercing the body part of someone who cannot consent is abuse

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Bitter_Tradition_938@reddit

According to your logic, medical procedures imposed on someone who cannot consent are abuse. So if your 10 year old suffers from acute appendicitis, I take it you will not allow surgery to be performed, right? I know this is an extreme example and it does not match the piercing scenario, I just wanted to underline the fact that you and logic do not have much in common.

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goodpuffin1@reddit

One is a live saving procedure, the other is for aesthetics only. Nowhere near the same. Surely you’re smarter than this.

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Bitter_Tradition_938@reddit

It seems most people here can’t read. Which part of “it does not match the piercing scenario” did you not understand? Surely you’re smarter than this.

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goodpuffin1@reddit

We can read, that’s the point, you made an irrelevant comparison

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elevatedupward@reddit

Well yes, if you decided to get your child's appendix taken out just in case they got appendicitis at some point, that would be abuse. Obviously and no doctor would do it. When you do things to another person's body who cannot consent themselves then it must be for their benefit. Risks must be weighed and doing must be clearly better than not doing. That's the test for medical procedures so what is the clear benefit to the child of ear piercing that they've not asked for? No benefit. The benefit is for the parent who fits in with a cultural norm, enjoys dressing up their child, whatever. Don't pierce your baby's ears, don't circumcise your baby boys. Don't tattoo your toddler. They can decide when they're older.

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void1101@reddit

What about indigenous tribes ? What about Māoris ? Do you think it’s wrong for them to do it ? Are you so culturally insensitive?

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elevatedupward@reddit

Do Maori tattoo their toddlers or pierce their babies' ears? Are small children from other cultures less deserving of bodily autonomy? Cultural insensitivity is a bollocks reason for some children being hurt. It was culturally appropriate for children to work down mines and up chimneys. It's not any more.

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void1101@reddit

Yes you’re not comparing apples to apples. Working a child from the age of 4 in a chimney and piercing ears which most females do anyway are two completely separate things. It’s not illegal, it’s not abuse, it’s up to parents to decide.

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RevolutionaryKey698@reddit

Lots of adults choose to pierce their nipples. Some choose to pierce their genitals. Are you saying its not abusive to pierce a baby's nipples or genitals?

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void1101@reddit

In different cultures many things are considered wrong what we do in the west. Piercing ears is absolutely socially acceptable, nipples and genitals done by adults and I think it’s a taboo and it’s very rarely done even by adults compared to ears pierced. Almost all girls have their ears pierced, nobody thinks about it twice.

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RevolutionaryKey698@reddit

I don't care what different cultures think. The fact that what bothers you isn't the physical fact of injuring another person's body for aesthetic readons, but whether or not that particular injury is taboo or not says it all.

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void1101@reddit

Injury… Jesus Christ it’s just a pierced ear. You’re such a softie. I had my ears pierced when I was 6 months and thankful. My sisters too, I’m glad my parents decided to do it. But you can view it anyway you want. You must be vegan.

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RevolutionaryKey698@reddit

I'm not a softie, I just don't believe in poking holes in babies. Your "softie" comment is so revealing. You know it's harmful, but you think it's OK because it's not that serious. I think injuring babies on any level is contemptible. If you don't, I think you are contemptible too.

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void1101@reddit

You think piercing ears is harmful,that is absurd, we are talking about ear piercing not kidney removal. Poking holes in babies.. I understand you’re trying to be as dramatic as possible.It’s not working. People like you make me laugh everything is dramatised, offensive, harmful. We’ll just have to agree to disagree.

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RevolutionaryKey698@reddit

What a silly response. It may make you feel better to call me "dramatic", but there is nothing dramatic about it. I have zero tolerance to inflicting injuries on babies. You don't. I'm fine with where I stand on this.

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void1101@reddit

You do realise you’re calling ear piercings injuries ? If that’s not dramatic i don’t know what is.I’m also fine with where I stand.

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RevolutionaryKey698@reddit

They are injuries. I'm sorry that you struggle with this but they are. They literally involve physical trauma that has to heal and which is vulnerable to infection. In what possible sense is it not an injury?

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void1101@reddit

Stop you’re making me laugh. Reading your comments it’s the funniest thing I’ve heard all night. How did you survive this far, I have no idea.

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SnooEpiphanies3336@reddit

I would never pierce a baby's ears and I still think this person you're talking to is ridiculous. But apparently the voters agree with them 😂 I think it's the black-and-white filter redditor tend to develop. It'S liTeraLLy an inJuRy There is some seriously bad stuff happening to children all over the world, I think ear piercings are the least of our concerns. My God.

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void1101@reddit

I agree with you entirely, well said.

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Bitter_Tradition_938@reddit

Yes, they are. Not only insensitive, but also ignorant.

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RevolutionaryKey698@reddit

This!

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maelie@reddit

I'm not saying it's child abuse, but surely you can see how absurd your attempted comparison is. That does not follow on logically *at all*.

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Bitter_Tradition_938@reddit

I know it does not follow at first sight. My point was about consent. One makes decisions for one’s children. From small ones, as in what are they having for breakfast, to big ones, regarding medical treatment, what school they go to, even what religion they follow. To say we cannot do x and y because a child cannot consent is ridiculous because in reality we all do it all the time.

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maelie@reddit

What they specifically said was >Piercing the body part of someone who cannot consent is abuse You cannot leap from that to saying that "by their logic" they wouldn't do *anything* the child couldn't consent to. I think it's your logic that's skewy, not theirs!

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Bitter_Tradition_938@reddit

I take it you don’t know how surgery works…

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maelie@reddit

You knew exactly what they meant. You're deliberately being obtuse.

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Bitter_Tradition_938@reddit

My parents insisted on me having haircuts on a regular basis. I did not want to, but they’ve done it anyway. What do you suggest I should do now, call the police?

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maelie@reddit

Did your hair grow back? Did it hurt to have your hair cut? If they did electrolysis on your hair growth then that's a fair point. Otherwise again you're missing the mark trying to draw a comparison. (As an aside, honestly if my kids told me they didn't want their hair cut I'd probably just say OK because it's not important to cut their hair... and if I can give them that autonomy, which I easily can, then why not? There are plenty of things they can't have a choice over, I'd let them make the decision)

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Bitter_Tradition_938@reddit

“There are plenty of things they can’t have a choice over”. Abuse?

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RevolutionaryKey698@reddit

That's not an extreme example, it's a stupid example. The analogy isn't even close.

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ComprehensiveDig1108@reddit

Some people say compulsory schooling is abuse. Get a grip.

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Min-Oe@reddit

Do they? Then those people are as wrong as you are about this. Instead of whataboutism, perhaps you could try explaining how consentless piercing is *not* abuse? If I decided that *you* need a piercing of my choice, would that be a problem for you? If so, what's different for you about inflicting piercing on a little kid?

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void1101@reddit

I agree.

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Scotland1297@reddit

No, for god sake. Child abuse has a very specific meaning, do not undermine that by claiming ear piercing falls in to that category. Let’s not start throwing it around like what happened with racism, and antisemitism.

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RevolutionaryKey698@reddit

It doesn't stop being abuse because it's not extreme abuse. Piercings on babies are gross.

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Scotland1297@reddit

Nope, it’s absolutely not abuse. Tacky and unnecessary? Yeah. I absolutely agree it’s gross. But You cannot tell someone who has a child with pierced ears that they are perpetrating child abuse, because that’s ridiculous. And I’m not even entirely sure what you mean by “extreme” abuse - like where to we draw the line between mild or moderate abuse before we get to serious or extreme? Abuse is abuse, and is categorised as such precisely so that we don’t play a weird game of child abuse too trumps on which abuse is worse.

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RevolutionaryKey698@reddit

Yes, it absolutely is abuse to start poking holes into babies. I'm sorry you find this difficult to understand but intentionally causing physical injury to a defenceless baby for aesthetic reasons is abusive and disgusting.

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Scotland1297@reddit

Ok then, since I find it so difficult to understand - please show me where piercing a child’s ears have been categorised as child abuse? I’d love to be able to understand better, it’s not like your framing an opinion as a fact here or anything, is it? And I very much noticed you dodge the question about where we draw the line on your podium of abuse? Can you help me understand that too?

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RevolutionaryKey698@reddit

I never said anything about drawing a line. That was you. Abuse is always on the wrong side of my line, no matter how extreme it is. You, on the other hand, are willing to give some abuse a free pass. Once again, is it abusive to pierce a baby's nipples? This isn't a difficult question for anyone with any kind of moral compass.

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Scotland1297@reddit

Ah ok, so can you clarify what you meant when you said > It doesn't stop being abuse because it's not extreme abuse. Kind of reads like you’re drawing a line somewhere? What were you talking about when you said “extreme”? You also didn’t show me where ear piercings have been categorised as child abuse? Might be worth editing your comment again (yeah I noticed). And to clarify, I wouldn’t give any sort of abuse a “free pass”. As I said before, abuse is abuse. You cannot, and should not diminish victims of child abuse by lumping them in with children with pierced ears, it’s ridiculous.

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RevolutionaryKey698@reddit

Lots of things which are abusive get a free pass for cultural reasons, it doesn't mean they are abusive (circumcising boys is a good example). And wtf is your obsession with a line? Yes I do categorise some abuse as more extreme than others. Things can exist on a spectrum without any arbitrary dividing line. And I edited to fix a typo. Grow up.

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Scotland1297@reddit

> Lots of things which are abusive get a free pass for cultural reasons, it doesn't mean they are abusive wtf are you talking about? The first part of your statement contradicts the last? Ah ok so you do draw a line somewhere as I expected, so what’s the best type of abuse a victim can hope for? And the worst? Was a bit more than a typo.

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RevolutionaryKey698@reddit

I also note that you are refusing to answer whether it is abusive to pierce a baby's nipples. Probably because it shows the big hole in your argument.

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void1101@reddit

Exactly ! Well said !

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Key_Hope_6915@reddit

It can be cultural. Doing it as a baby can be easier for the child in the long run as many many girls at some point want to be able to wear earrings and clip on ones hardly exist these days and are painful. My parent did all of ours when we were 2-3 weeks old. No real nerve endings in the ears at that age and we all slept through it. No pain. It was a needle used, not a gun. I've seen it done several times in our family and children all slept through. As a teen I went to get additional piercings in my ear at Claire's Accessories. It was done with a piercing gun and the pain was horrendous! Also had it done at a piercing studio with a needle, much more expensive and hoped it wouldn't hurt so much. Nope, horrendous! Anaesthetic cream used both times. Wish my family had done a few more holes when I was a baby lol!

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Suspicious_Banana255@reddit

But what if you had grown up to be someone who didn't want earrings or holes in their ears they couldn't hide? Your choice was taken away from you. We should all have bodily autonomy.

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Key_Hope_6915@reddit

I am only talking about my experience in order to add a perspective to the conversation, I am not arguing for or against what the OP should do, and for me I'm glad my parents did it, as doing it as an adult was painful as fuck. I was more upset as a child by having to have my hair cut every month. I found it extremely traumatising and would scream at losing my hair length, but no one is saying that haircuts and trips to the hairdresser should be left until someone is old enough to consent.

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HighRiseCat@reddit

It's very uncommon. I wouldn't leave your aunt alone with her, because she'll get it done and it'll be done by some other aunt, because no reputable place will do that, definitely not if they realise she isn't the parent Is this acultural thing in your family? Are you asian?

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Valuable_One_1011@reddit

It’s common in North America and people don’t have such negative reactions to the practice

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Helicreature@reddit

Well they also still dock their dog’s tails and cut their dogs ears to a ‘fashionable’ shape. Thankfully we’ve evolved.

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Valuable_One_1011@reddit

Who is “they”? It certainly happens here, and at the beloved dog shows. No one is cutting off the kids ears…

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Helicreature@reddit

‘They’ is Americans to whom you referred. Ear cropping is illegal in UK and tail docking is only allowed under very limited circumstances. It does NOT ‘happen at the beloved dog shows!’

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hamstertoybox@reddit

So is circumcision…

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Valuable_One_1011@reddit

What’s the connection you’re making? My point is that, while not common here, it is common in many parts of the world. No one is losing a body part and they can be removed. I think looking down upon MANY cultures in the world for this is a bit weird. Same could be said about pushing young UK students to wear micro skirts as part of their school uniform. Seems weird, but ok. It is what it is. People do different things.

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Careless-Giraffe-623@reddit

That because Americans are stupid assholes.

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Middle_Swim_5961@reddit

When my daughter was a baby loads of European friends asked when I’d get them pierced. I said when she chooses? When she was 11 she decided so we got them done at Claire’s in the summer holidays so they had time to heal before starting secondary school.

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ManicPixiRiotGrrrl@reddit

in the future, never go to claire’s. go to a piercing shop

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Middle_Swim_5961@reddit

You live and learn. This was 12 years ago.

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frontroomhog@reddit

As far as I’m aware it’s a cultural thing. A lot of Eastern Europeans do it, well the ones I know. No idea why it’s important. Think I’ll ask.

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Kindly_Difference_99@reddit

Croatian people would be really offended to be called Eastern Europeans but I can confirm this. We love to do it early. Bosnian as well

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frontroomhog@reddit

Apologies for my ignorance. Out of genuine curiosity is there a reason or is it just because?

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ImaginaryParrot@reddit

Just gets it out the way really. I was gifted a nice gold pair of earrings that I wore for a good 10-15 years. Didn't have to do anything except keep them clean. In the grand scheme of things, piercing my ears as a baby had 0 impact on me compared to some of the real abuse I faced.

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frontroomhog@reddit

Sorry to hear that.

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Particular-Zone7288@reddit

In certain circles "Eastern Europe" refers to countries and people under the control of Russia. Generally anywhere east of Berlin. However that takes a lot of the agency away from the peoples and places that were oppressed by the USSR / Russian republic.

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frontroomhog@reddit

Thanks for the insight

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void1101@reddit

My daughter turned one we got her ears pierced. Seems normal, I don’t know why you people think it’s weird.

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Suspicious_Banana255@reddit

It's not your body so you shouldn't make decisions about it.

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void1101@reddit

I’m a parent I can make all decisions I want, it’s perfectly legal and safe and looks wonderful.

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Flaky-Hovercraft8768@reddit

Why does a 1 year old need holes put in their bodies that they never even asked for.

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void1101@reddit

What about indigenous tribes ? What about the Māoris culture? Is it wrong for them to do it ? What about wearing shoes, last I’ve read shoes are terrible for children and their feet development ? Should we now say that we will raise children to be barefoot until they decide ? I can think of tons of things children do not need/should not have yet they are completely normal.

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Flaky-Hovercraft8768@reddit

Yes it’s wrong for them to do it, it’s wrong for anyone to do it. Babies don’t need ear piercings and it’s scummy for anyone to think that they do.

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void1101@reddit

I don’t think it’s wrong. I can think of many other things that are wrong getting baby girls ears pierced isn’t one of them. I find it cute and acceptable.

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Suspicious_Banana255@reddit

You will find you are in the minority and people will judge you for it. You should make choices about your body and let your child make her own decisions.

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void1101@reddit

Yeah I couldn’t care less about people on Reddit. Judge me all you want. We only had positive experiences with it. I feel very sorry for you people, it must be a hard life for you all, getting offended and upset about everything must be really hard.

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Arch_0@reddit

What a long way to say I have no idea why I put an unnecessary hole in my child.

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Affectionate-Owl9594@reddit

But why? Why does a one year old need pierced ears?

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FornyHucker22@reddit

mums fashion accessory I guess 🤢

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void1101@reddit

Why not ? Most females have their ears pierced that I know of, why do they get their ears pierced ? Why do indigenous people piers their babies ears ? Why do most Latin Americans, Spanish, Eastern European get their ears pierced?

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reisebuegeleisen@reddit

> In theory you can ask why about all the things we do as humans. You can actually do that in practice and then answer with good reasons for the practice if there are any.

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KQ-Castle@reddit

In many countries baby girls get their ears pierced at the hospital, it's better since it's done by a doctor and they use gold jewellery. They heal faster if you pierce the ears when older it will hurt more and also the cleaning will be harder, when they are little it's easier.

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Suspicious_Banana255@reddit

What if they grow up to not want holes in their ears? it should be their choice.

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Desperate_Cook_7338@reddit

Activates the nerves in your ears that help with emotional regulation and intelligence.

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Suspicious_Banana255@reddit

That's just ridiculous. If that were the case wouldn't you do it to baby boys as well?

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thewearisomeMachine@reddit

Call me out of touch, but your auntie and your friend are the first two people I have ever heard of having this obsession

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greengirl93@reddit

It might be a cultural thing? My best friends parents are Hindu but she’s not religious at all, and they are constantly hassling her about piercing her daughter’s ears, but she categorically won’t have it and it has caused multiple arguments.

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maelie@reddit

I'm sure in Spain it's almost a default thing too.

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Remote-Pool7787@reddit

Yep. In Spain, you can have a doctor do it before your baby even leaves the hospital!

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curryandbeans@reddit

That’s fucking mental

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maelie@reddit

I mean yes it seems mental, but I also suppose if I were getting it done I'd rather have it done by a doctor in the hospital than at Claire's Accessories with their gun thing. Not that Claire's exists now but you know what I mean.

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Icy-Initial2107@reddit

You can get it done at a professional piercer, not quite a doctor but at least it's not a trainee who waves an alcohol wipe at your ear and crushes through your ear with a Claire's style "piercing gun".

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maelie@reddit

Of course, there are many ways to get it done, and many with good safety standards. And by the way I say this as an idiot adult who put several holes *in my own ears* with a gun, which is obviously stupid. IF i were doing it for my young child (I'm not) I know there are more sensible options out the than Claire's. And I definitely would not do to kids what I did to myself because I only allow my idiocy to affect me, not them. All I'm saying is if you're *going to* get it done, why not the doctor in the hospital? That's the least mad thing about this IMHO.

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Amazing-Heron-105@reddit

Wait till you hear what they do to boys in America

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Suspicious_Banana255@reddit

That should be illegal, such a dreadful thing to do without the person being able to consent or a medical need

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Suspicious_Banana255@reddit

Good god, that's ridiculous

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Amphar0s_@reddit

In Hampshire tons of babies/ young kids going around with pierced ears! I volunteer for a charity that does kids activities, I see the pierced ears all the time. I'd say like 1/ 10 young girls? Which I know isn't awful but it's quite a lot when u think about it.

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Suspicious_Banana255@reddit

Maybe it's the demographic using the charity, outside of that I doubt you'd see as many

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Amphar0s_@reddit

I didn't realise it was just me, I think it's just my town then 🤷🏼‍♀️

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HAZZ3R1@reddit

I've never heard of an obsession about it but I've always never understood the desire. I'd be shitting myself that my young child would manage to get it off and injure them selves

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AquaTourmaline@reddit

That's one of the reasons why some cultures have it done when they're babies/newborns: they're young enough to leave it alone. It lessens the risk of infection which often comes with having them pierced later in life.

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68_namfloW@reddit

I’ve seen a few comments on it, and claims it’s better younger, rather than say 12.

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MotherofTinyPlants@reddit

It’s better to wait until the ears are adult sized and the child is able to clean/care for the new piercing themselves (14 ish plus). Having them done as a baby increases the chances of them being poorly sited in adulthood.

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OkSun8521@reddit

None of that is at all important when compared with the fact that it's fucking weird to mutilate a baby's body without their consent.

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Eskyzoo@reddit

Ditto!

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Feeling-Touch-9311@reddit

in some cultures, pierced ears are a critical siginfier of femininity. Older women from the culture find it impossible to accept the lack of signifier. They will definitely take the baby/child to get their ears pierced given the opprtunity, irrespective of your personal wishes. Seen it happen many times. Good luck.

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Suspicious_Banana255@reddit

Wow, that's shocking, they would never see my child, and if they did manage to pierce my child's ears I would report them to the police.

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Expensive_Peace8153@reddit

Piercings aren't without infection risk, even if it's pretty small for a simple ear piercing. But babies are so vulnerable.

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TransBunsenBurner@reddit

My mom had my ears pierced before I was a year old because people kept commenting on what a sweet little boy I was: she wanted to make clear that I was a girl. I grew up. I’m a trans man. I still have the holes in my ears.

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Suspicious_Banana255@reddit

Exactly this, you can't know what the baby will grow up to want, given a choice they may NEVER want pierced ears. Consent and choice are vital.

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Mrspygmypiggy@reddit

I had my ears pierced as a baby and then pierced again when I was four. I remember a lot of baby girls having their ears pierced really young and I didn’t really think much about it until my friend had a baby and she thought it was weird when I asked when she was getting the babies ears pierced. It is a bit of a strange thing to do when they can’t consent tbh.

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Many-Disaster-3823@reddit

Its cultural

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Careless-Giraffe-623@reddit

It's criminal.. you shouldn’t do that to your own baby, never mind some one else’s.

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Many-Disaster-3823@reddit

Yes what im saying is that its a cultural practice in many places but im sure will die out

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Okhlahoma_Beat-Down@reddit

If your auntie takes your baby to get her ears pierced without your consent, press charges and don't release pressure at all. She doesn't get to decide to make a permanent decision for your baby.

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SceneDifferent1041@reddit

Do you um.... Come from a line of people who enjoy traveling around alot?

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Suspicious_Banana255@reddit

🤣🤣🤣🤣

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sky_beyond_storm@reddit

Piercers usually say to wait until the kid is 8yo so that the ears are properly formed and won't change much in size.

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dglcomputers@reddit

But that is a piercer, the kind of people obsessed with getting their babies ears pierced are going to go to a place where the employee is neither paid or trained enough to care about piercing a babies ears. Also going to a place where the piercing is done on a little chair in the main shop doesn't seem all that hygienic to me. I want to see certificates, a proper chair (in a proper room as necessary) and the use of properly sterilised needles, not a gun. When I got my septum done (at Isha in Dorchester) you could tell it was being done by a properly trained person as not only did they have loads of certificates on the wall to prove it, also the needle and jewellery were sterilised right in front of me, they also restricted the jewellery type as they didn't like using threaded jewellery due to a supposed infection risk during healing, and advised me to stay out of open water during healing. You are not getting that from a \*free piercing!

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CharieRarie@reddit

That’s a really good point actually, I’d never thought about that.

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sky_beyond_storm@reddit

I got my years pierced when I was 5 I think? Idk if it's because it was too early or if it was done with a piercing gun instead of needles (it was done in a jewellery shop, so likely with guns), but my holes aren't symmetric.. Piercers actually follow some measures, and it can't be done properly when the person is too young!

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LifeBandit666@reddit

Is it not possible to even them up now? Repierce one side to match the other or get both done again and just leave the other ones out?

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Bethurz@reddit

Mine are wonky too and they won't close. They started to close when I was a kid, then my grandma forced earrings back in, and after that, even if I didn't wear earrings for months they didn't heal so I can't even them up. Didn't really notice until my 2nds and 3rds were done to be honest though so it is what it is

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LifeBandit666@reddit

Stretch them up? I stopped at 10 and they stopped at 16mm lol

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Bethurz@reddit

Oh I do NOT have the right aura for that haha

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LifeBandit666@reddit

Aura lol

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sky_beyond_storm@reddit

I indeed cba haha. And then I would have useless holes which would look weird I think? They're very well healed, so probably will never close at this point. And now I have second and third holes on my lobes 😂 it's not dramatically uneven, I know it, and some earrings can fit a bit weird because one hole is a tad too high. But people probably don't notice!

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LifeBandit666@reddit

Nobody else cares. It's scientifically proven that people are usually too self interested to notice, they're too busy hoping you won't notice one of their insecurities

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sky_beyond_storm@reddit

Exactly! But it's proof it's important to find a good piercer haha. My reverse helix wasn't done properly and it gave me so much crap for years!

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LifeBandit666@reddit

Free nipple piercing = abscess in nipple decades later. At least it was free

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sky_beyond_storm@reddit

Oh no 😭

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Mglfll@reddit

If I had the size ears I have now, at 8, I’d of been carted around as fucking Dumbo!

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Bright-War-5033@reddit

I feel it's an intrusion to mark a child's body without it's permission, same goes for infantile circumcision and FGM.

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Ohtherewearethen@reddit

As ghastly as infant ear piercing is, please let's not lump it together with the truly horrific FGM.

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Bright-War-5033@reddit

FGM is horrific, but it's just another form of physical violence against a person without their consent.

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Veenkoira00@reddit

Indeed, FGM an no-consent ear piercing are on the same continuum, just at different spots on it.

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maelie@reddit

And baby ears are just so absurdly cute, that I don't really get why anyone would want to tamper with them!

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Bright-War-5033@reddit

Yep they are so small and precious. I don't understand why an adult would put their own personal preference over the comfort and integrity of a child's body. Unfathomable.

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ScaryButt@reddit

It's extremely tacky and imo abusive. A baby cannot give consent, it is a purely cosmetic procedure at exposed a child to risk of infection and causes them pain at the time and during healing. I often see people say it's part of a "culture" but they doesn't excuse the facts.

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Suspicious_Banana255@reddit

It's just your circle, no-one I know had a little kids ears pierced, I think it's an appalling thing to do, abusive. Shouldn't happen until the child is a teen and if they ask for it. Tell your aunt if she has your baby's ears pierced you will go to the police about it and she will never see either of you again.

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Veenkoira00@reddit

It is an "obsession" in some (sub)cultures to cut girl children's bodies in some way: from truly horrific life-threatening mutilation of genitals to the relatively mild body modification of ear piercing – and everything in between to mark the child as female, a girl to be kept away from boys' games and freedoms, a future woman, with culturally appropriate womanly role expectation. Some people absolutely insist on the ear piercing on female babies – they think it would be absolutely terrible if a stranger tought the unmutilated baby were a boy. Yep, keep a close eye on the baby – older relatives, especially older women often think that they MUST do what the "neglectful' mother is failing to do.

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Lau_kaa@reddit

Personally I think it should only be done when a child is old enough to make the decision themselves. Piercing the ears of babies has always seemed deeply weird to me.

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thelivsterette1@reddit

Right? I understand it's a cultural thing (my family friend I think got hers pierced as a baby, she's Filipina. My other family friends had their kid's ears pierced v young as well; he's English she's Sierra Leonean) but I agree it should be when the kid is old enough to choose I didn't get them done til I was 14 and at 25 I barely wear earrings anyway since they went a bit weird (fistula still open, but the skin grows over the hole and I have to re pierce every time and sometimes there's blood) I do wonder if that's cos I had them done with a gun and then later when they first closed repierced at a tattoo shop. In my defence, I didn't know a lot about gun v needle and thought it was OK cos it was Harrods. If i ever get another peircing, I will definitely go to a tattoo & piercing studio

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Justplaythefkngnote@reddit

yes it's usually a cultural thing. My Spanish in-laws all put me under pressure like 'why haven't you got her ears pierced yet?' when my daughter was only months old . She was the only baby in the street (lived in Spain at the time but am not Spanish) who didn't have her ears pierced. My mother-in-law actually offered to do it with a needle and thread.. I asked why they did this to babies, and they were all surprised at the question. They said 'so that people will know she's not a boy'. I was just appalled. I don't know if it's still like that. Hopefully they now leave children alone until they are old enough to choose. I'm sure that is the case , so don't start telling me 'i live in Spain, what are you talking about, we don't do that'. I'm telling you that this was my experience when I lived in Spain in the 90s.

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girlwithdog_79@reddit

I think it looks so tacky!

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Ok_Neat2979@reddit

Yes it's horrible . Didn't realise it still happens.

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pintsized_baepsae@reddit

This, AND it should be done properly (with a needle, by a qualified professional, not with one of those guns).

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leclercwitch@reddit

I worked in a piercing shop about 11 years ago. Our rule was if the child cannot ask us themselves and pick out their own earrings, we’re not doing it.

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pteroisantennata@reddit

My boss at the jewellery shop did it like that, decades ago. The child had first to ask, and then pay for the piercing, too. This got the age up to around 6 minimum, no problem.

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hyperstorm@reddit

Yeah, back in the 90s when I was six I REALLY wanted my ears pierced for some reason. (No idea why, and I let them close up when I was 13, but I was ADAMANT about it.) The jeweller took me aside to make absolutely certain it was me who wanted it and not my mum.

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LifeBandit666@reddit

It's this for me too, body mutilation and religion, let em choose when their brain has developed into Adult Form.

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ihavetakenthebiscuit@reddit

This, their body their choice. Super tacky to get your babies ears pierced.

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Ipoopedinthefridge@reddit

This! I think my eldest was about 4 when she was non stop nagging me to have hers done (i have multiple in each ear) - she was so excited bless her. My twins were also about 4, the youngest was 3 and went on and on about it for weeks (probably because the older 3 had theirs done), - she’s 7 now and loves picking cute little studs from the multi packs i picked up before claires shut down,

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Proud_Smell_4455@reddit

Parents who see their children as mini-mes and accessories are the fucking worst.

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Siddaz@reddit

Born and raised on a council estate. This does happen and it's embarrassing. It's like pimp my ride but with kids, fucking scruffy behaviour.

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No-Scientist-9049@reddit

Grew up on a council estate and this was super common. But now I have a one year old and I live elsewhere and I've never seen a baby (or even a child) with pierced ears. I completely forgot it was a thing.

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WillingApplication10@reddit

There's a wee girl that goes to one of our baby classes that has them done. She's always dressed like a meringue. She ripped one in class and it bled 😨 There's always someone anonymous on our local parent Facebook looking to find a place to get it done on a baby, but never any actual recommendations. I have no idea if it is just someone's mad aunt or slipping a twenty to the girl and superdrug or what.

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Darrowby_385@reddit

Obsession is an oddly judgmental word to use. It's perfectly normal practice across a number of cultures. You don't like it, well, you do you.

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teesthatgirl25@reddit (OP)

Maybe obsessed wasn’t the correct word. As I said in my post, I don’t care about if someone chooses to get their kids ear pierced. My problem is when they try to force that onto my kid.

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miklovesrum@reddit

People are often very weird about babies and children. This is why you have horrible shit like circumcision as well. Parents and family members think they own these young people. Children are an oppressed, marginalised class of people IMO.

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Miss-Hell@reddit

Because people think that all girls will want their ears pierced when they are older so get it done while they are young and won’t remember the pain. Babies ears grow, have seen many ear piercings become wonky as the child grows. If you do both at the same time, chances are they will move slightly as they can’t do them at exactly the same time. I used to work in a piercing shop and the amount of people wanting to pierce babies ears is crazy.

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pintsized_baepsae@reddit

> while they are young and won’t remember the pain. The funny thing, to me personally, is that I don't remember getting my ears pierced hurting particularly bad, and I only got them done about two years ago. I do, however, remember the pain of getting my ears pierced with a gun when I was about 7; I pestered my parents for 18 months AND knew how to take care of the earrings, it's just that the guns and the advice are shit and my body was about to let us all know about that. The guns DO hurt and are noisy, but plain lobes with a needle were over before I'd registered what was happening. Of course there's always risk that it'll be painful – humans are all different – but a qualified piercer generally does a good job at making it as painless as possible.

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puffpuffpout@reddit

In Mexico the surgeon does it after the birth. Absolutely wild to me as a Brit. I had to wait til I was 10!!

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Comfortable-Cup-2564@reddit

There is still a shocking amount of people who believe girls need earrings, hair bows and pink skirts to be identifyable as girls. They usually also confuse having children with having a dress up doll.

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Sea-Still5427@reddit

Tell your aunt clearly that you do not consent to that and if she does you'll report her for child abuse. Some cultures seem to go in for it but in mine a girl gets them done only when she's old enough to give informed consent herself.

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Pedantichrist@reddit

I know it is cultural for some, but I think it is mutilation and should be illegal. Imagine it was eyebrows or navel piercing. Literally the only reason that making holes in ears is seen as different to those, and somehow okay, is that it is normalised.

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Much-Scene327@reddit

I disagree with getting babies ears pierced on another level.

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noname2808559@reddit

Thank Jebus Claire's has shut.

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Urban-Bodhisattva@reddit

I try my best not to have negative opinions on other people's choices but this I find absolutely ghastly. I can't get my head around it.

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EloquenceInScreaming@reddit

Because it's not 'other people's choices'. It's other people's choices being forced, permanently, onto a child who cannot consent.

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LifeBandit666@reddit

Circumcision for Religion. Grinds my gears

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pintsized_baepsae@reddit

Circumcision \*for aesthetics\*, too.

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OkSun8521@reddit

It's OK to have negative opinions about people injuring a child.

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finintymonkle@reddit

Probably one of the biggest signs of being a chav is getting your toddlers ears pierced. I know, because I come from a chavvy family. Not the brightest bunch.

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teesthatgirl25@reddit (OP)

Maybe this is why I see it as an obsession. I grow up on a council estate in one of the roughest areas. It was common to get it done

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Segat280@reddit

Same

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Known-Highway-8465@reddit

Don’t ever leave your child unattended with that Auntie.

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SwampDraggon@reddit

Also tell the auntie about the concept of consent, and explain that getting your child’s ears pierced without consent would be abduction, assault and abuse.

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BB-Zwei@reddit

And that if she violates the child's and your consent then the aunt will also be getting holes poked in her.

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MoralityAuction@reddit

Yes. Also state in writing that you do not consent to any piercing.

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pajamakitten@reddit

This aunt does not seem the type to care about that sort of thing.

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MoralityAuction@reddit

Absolutely not, but it would then be more explicitly assault if done.

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ClevelandWomble@reddit

Just to emphasize that point. OP, REALLY don't leave your child alone with that auntie.

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LifeBandit666@reddit

I came here to say this, so I'm saying seriously, sit the other half down and have a discussion about never leaving your child with that Aunt, ever

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eralcilrahc@reddit

Mine were done as a baby and I was thrilled that by the time I was old enough to understand jewellery and want to wear earrings they were already done. However I wouldn’t repeat it with my daughter, I couldn’t handle watching her be confused and in pain, she can have them done if and when she’s old enough to ask. I think it’s heavily dependent on culture and family norms and I do get asked when I’m getting my daughters done. They’re probably just asking because for them it’s normal.

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teesthatgirl25@reddit (OP)

I’m not sure if this is the best place to add this. But just to add as I’ve seen it come up quite a bit, so to answer a few questions. 1. My background/culture is Caribbean. 2. I did grow up on a council estate, maybe this is why I see it as a “thing” 3. My friend says it because if you get it done when they’re a baby they can’t constantly touch it and pull it. 🥴 and also the pain comment most have mentioned. I plan on waiting to see if my daughter actually wants her ear pierced before I just go ahead. I just found it odd, the way it keeps coming up.

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shortandfelly@reddit

I can't believe it's actually still legal. This caught me out recently actually as I was convinced there was a lower age limit.

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Ricky_Martins_Vagina@reddit

This sounds like a 'people around you' problem... Does your family come from a culture where it's traditional to pierce baby girls ears immediately, and you're breaking that tradition by waiting it out? I'm not sure there's any widespread obsession with it though, as you call it. Some people get it done / some don't. We got our girls done straight after birth (in my wife's home country - where it is customary to do so) but I wouldn't say there was anything obsessive about it...

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cari-strat@reddit

I had a sister in law that told my small daughter that they'd get her ears pierced for her birthday. I was like WTF??! I don't think so! My daughter got her ears pierced at about 12, when SHE asked for it. I absolutely do not agree with piercing children before they can give informed consent.

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NotoriousMAO@reddit

I have never seen or heard anyone discuss getting a babys ears pierced. I would be fairly shocked to see any child who couldn't make the decision for themselves modified like that.

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hamstertoybox@reddit

I see it around my area a lot. I’m actually shocked how normalised it is.

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DuckBricky@reddit

It's very common around me (north London).

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xdbojacx@reddit

Maybe people in the north can't afford to do it now

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xdbojacx@reddit

Yeah it is not common at all. Some people do this to their children, and almost everyone else thinks it is a form of abuse.

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Known-Grapefruit4032@reddit

Hate it hate it hate it. Absolutely appalling doing that to a baby, there should be a minimum age of consent. Their body, their choice.

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Informal-Dentist2031@reddit

It’s mainly chavs who pierce babies ears.

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Jaded_Leg_46@reddit

Some places refuse to do piercing on young children and I can't blame them, I'm still amazed it's allowed to happen.

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Adventurous_Deal2788@reddit

Saw someone getting their infants (can't have been a day over 6 months) ears pierced at Claire's by a teenage shop assistant. I was horrified

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Jaded_Leg_46@reddit

I don't know how they can do it knowing that the baby can't understand the sudden pain where as a 7 or 8 year old would. I personally couldn't do that to a child.

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Superb_Landscape8734@reddit

I’ve never even heard of this in my entire life. Wtf would you do that

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elleelleelle-@reddit

it freaks me out so much whenever i see babies with ear piercings. like why are we mutilating children for aesthetics. let them decide when they're older

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HistoryDisastrous493@reddit

Is this a council estate thing?

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PetrolForBrekkie@reddit

As someone who had ears pierced early on (sometimes under 10months) I've never had a problem with it, I used to wear earrings a lot then I js stopped wearing them for a while, now I wear them sometimes. It really hasn't had an effect on anything in my life at all. Each to their own ig

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serious_sleep_issues@reddit

I thought most places have an age limit now - I think it's 6 or 8 maybe??? I think licensing around it is strict unless your Aunt would do a home DIY job?

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Suspicious_Tax8577@reddit

Where I've had my piercings done, she will not do any under 16s. She did try under 16s for first earlobe piercings and only that, and seemingly has had so much aggro over it that she's simply stopped offering it.

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ApricotFew6579@reddit

My daughter is 4 and has no ear piercings, if she ever asks I’ll consider it but i dont want to force anything painful on my child just for aesthetic purposes. I wouldn’t comment on anyone else’s choice. I would say it’s absolutely wrong for any family member to threaten to just take your child to do something against your will although I don’t know your family dynamic I wouldn’t let that person near my child personally!

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Eskarina_W@reddit

I'm just going to leave this here: https://youtube.com/shorts/Cha9Gks7iPA

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fishjelly-jellyfish@reddit

My mum got my ears pierced when I was 2- at Claire’s, with a piercing gun of course. She said she thought I’d want it done when I was older so may as well do it while I won’t remember the pain. Apparently I screamed the shop down. I think it was just more common in the 90s. I’d say we were fairly middle class but it feels super chavy to me.

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Opening-Reward-5210@reddit

So my friends baby dad got their daughters ears pieced without telling the mum, my friend- she was devastated- he gets keloid scarring which put the baby at risk of the scarring too so she didn’t dare take them out. The baby was 18mf. So fast forward to the baby is now four and starting school- she can’t wear the earrings for school (not even studs) so they’ve been taken out, they’ve healed up and the girl isn’t scarred either 😍 Basically just don’t do it. It’s well cute fair enough but that baby is not a fashion accessory.

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Exotic_Jicama1984@reddit

It's a chav thing and it's abuse.

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Tattyhead4@reddit

I really hate seeing babies with pierced ears. I understand in some cultures it’s the norm but it’s barbaric. They could catch their ear on something and rip it open.

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4doorsajar@reddit

I wanted to pierce my daughters ear once she came home from hospital (2 things, it’s a pointer to say she is a girl instead of being asked endlessly also, to get the piercing done when she will be oblivious to the pain as a newborn), however my partner said NO, he said he wants his child as they are. He said until she wants one for herself, he is not onboard, same with circumcising our son. I agreed with him eventually. But, to each their own.

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EvilAndy73@reddit

Your auntie and friend are idiots and should be kept well away from your baby. Maybe you should take them to a cattle farm and get them branded against their wishes.

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ReactionNo2302@reddit

Not everyone wants their ears pierced and babies can’t consent. You wouldn’t give your baby a tattoo, so why a piercing, I know it’s less visible but it’s still a permanent scar on their body (coming from someone with multiple piercings and hoping to get tattoos). I really think there should be an age limit for ear piercings. Sorry for ranting a bit, its just something that annoys me

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theegrimrobe@reddit

ear piercing is one of those - only on the consent of those its being done to things or it ought to be -- only when the child is old enough to understand what is being done and affirm that they want it should it be done

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FornyHucker22@reddit

some people are just wired and scummy I don’t think it’s any deeper

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dan_in_his_own_way@reddit

I mean, people are happy to mutilate baby boys genitalia. So, ear piercings doesn't shock me.

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chahu@reddit

Piercer here! My minimum age is 10. The legal age of responsibility is 10, so that seemed like a logical age for me. I have people asking about piercing their babies' ears and my answer is always no. I need my client to understand and to consent to piercing, both verbally and by signing a consent form. A baby cannot sign the form, nor can they understand or consent (my forms require signatures from both the parent and the pierced). I don't understand consenting to someone penetrating your baby's skin with a needle, without them understanding what's happening or why. It is cultural within some groups, but my answer is still no.

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Practical-Ear725@reddit

i waited until my kid insisted, at 10, they still got infected and were a nightmare. don't do it

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smiley6125@reddit

I waited until my daughter was old enough to choose herself. She was 5. Your Auntie doing against your will is bang out of order.

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Witty_Entry9120@reddit

Would you let her get a tattoo at 5, out of interest?

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smiley6125@reddit

So I should have made her wait until she is 18 when people have their babies ears pierced?

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Witty_Entry9120@reddit

Genuinely....if there was no age limit on tattoos, would you let her get one at 5? Or 9? What?

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smiley6125@reddit

Absolutely not. Ear lobe piercings close up easily. Unlike some other piercings. The two are not the same.

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Flaky-Hovercraft8768@reddit

They don’t close up easily though, I had ear piercings forced on me as a child, haven’t worn earrings at all in adult life and they still haven’t closed up.

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MarsStar2301@reddit

This must vary between people, because my piercings (three in each ear) seem to start trying to close up even if my earrings have only been out for a few minutes. I find it easiest to wear them all the time unless they get pulled out accidentally or there’s a medical need to remove them (like for an MRI or x-ray).

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Witty_Entry9120@reddit

You can undo a tattoo friendo

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AcidHouseMouse@reddit

There is an infection risk, that your daughter at 5 years old, isn’t old enough to comprehend. Whether it is aesthetically reversible or not is hardly the main issue, no?

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smiley6125@reddit

The risk of infection is fairly low. I didn’t just have them pierced and ignore them. We cleaned them religiously for weeks. She knew it would hurt and still wanted to do it. Most of the girls in her class had theirs pierced by then too. I even took her to an actual tattoo and piercing place after a lot of research instead of letting a teenager lost on her in Claires. A needle is a cleaner piercing that doesn’t cause as much trauma as a piercing gun.

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Fred776@reddit

> She was 5. Is this a joke?

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Solid_Western_138@reddit

I got mine done as my 5th birthday present.

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smiley6125@reddit

Not a joke. She knew what it involved.

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Tricky_Parsnip_6843@reddit

My daughter was about the same age and all her friends had their ears pierced.

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GinBitch@reddit

I think it was fairly standard in the 80s and 90s. Both me and my sister were pierced at 6 weeks old. The general excuse was around babies not remembering pain?! I feel people should make the decision themselves when they're older. It's not as though it's a traumatic experience. As an adult I have multiple piercings and daughter is 8. She has shown some interest but has told me she wants to wait until she's at least 10 because she wants to be able to take care of them properly.

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Particular-Zone7288@reddit

Even when Claire's was letting untrained 20 year old supervisors use a piercing gun to pierce toddlers ears at the weekend in the 90s, it wasn't generally considered normal. But this is a massive class issue thing.

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GinBitch@reddit

So only certain classes pierced their kids?

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Adventurous_Deal2788@reddit

I don't know. To me it looks chavvy and it's so unnecessary if she wants earrings when she's older she'll get them. Imagine if they get infected as well. That happened to one of my daughters when she got them done (at age 12) and it was awful

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Pigeongirl79@reddit

In my family we have a tradition for ear piercing , you can get it done when you transfer from little school to big school , it is a thing my parents did ( incidentally it was the last present my father gave me as he passed the October I went up to big school ) and I did the same for my kid and they intend to do the same for theirs . I’ve never really liked the idea of causing pain to a child who is too young to ask for it for no medical reason and I personally dont like it , your child is your child don’t let anyone bully you into something that you don’t want and your child hasn’t asked for . I suggest next time you ask them exactly why they want to have the child’s ears pierced and they won’t be able to come up with a good reason why as there isn’t one .

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Witty_Entry9120@reddit

As family traditions go....this one is pretty weird

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Pigeongirl79@reddit

Not really it works well as the time during the school holidays gives you time to heal , at that age a child is old enough to consent and old enough to take care of cleaning the piercing site , it bridges the gap nicely into going to high school and being more grown up . Oh we have stranger years ago I realised that gravy boats really don’t hold enough gravy for Christmas dinner when you are serving 15 or so people so I started serving gravy in a massive teapot …. It’s stuck it keeps the gravy hot and pours brilliantly .

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Scared_Funny_5602@reddit

It's very strange. Children do not know how to take care of piercings, and I'm surprised more don't get infected. The places that pierce very young children I'm also sceptical of. They seem to be the same places that pierce with guns and bad quality jewellery.

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Hefty_Tip7383@reddit

Who the hell pierces children’s ears?

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Poo_Poo_La_Foo@reddit

Big yikes.

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idontlikemondays321@reddit

I don’t think it’s anywhere near as popular as it was

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Critical_Awareness95@reddit

Personally, I find it vile. My daughter was 13 when she had hers pierced - I was 45!

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Lynex_Lineker_Smith@reddit

Father of three daughters , never in the 20 years of having them has anyone , ever , asked about getting their ears pierced. So I feel it’s a you thing.

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OneSufficientFace@reddit

First things first. I would NEVER, i repeat, NEVER leave your baby alone with either of these people. I would also sit your partner down and renenforce the same to them as well as why.... Secondly, i have personally always found it wrong to pierce a baby's ears. Morally and well, just fucking wierd. Your baby isnt an accessory

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Remote-Pool7787@reddit

It’s not an obsession at all. The overwhelming majority of babies do not have pierced ears. I had my daughter’s ears pieced when they were babies but I’ve no opinion on what anyone else chooses to do. It’s nothing to do with your aunt, so just grow a pair and say you’re waiting until she’s old enough to want it for herself

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Firebrand777@reddit

Cruel. Chantastic. Awful. My dad didnt let me have my ears pierced til 16 and even then he wasn’t happy about it

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batterista9@reddit

I pierced my own ears when I was sixteen. I couldn’t afford to have them done. I have no regrets at all but I don’t agree with piercing the ears of children without their consent. It could be considered child abuse.

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AshJammy98@reddit

Im generally anti-stabbing babies for absolutely no reason but maybe I'm just a square.

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Segat280@reddit

My chavvy, neglectful, abusive mother did this to me as a baby, and it makes be sick. I'm well beyond middle age and I despise these scars in my lobes. I want to report parents who do this to social services. It's abuse.

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Loose_Avocado4670@reddit

Personally, I think 4+ is fine, that's if they say yes, though. I think at this age up they can understand. I think getting them done as a baby is far too young. It's unnecessary pain for them and looks tacky.

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Outside-Resist4688@reddit

It should be considered child abuse to pierce a baby's ears. They have no way of consenting. It makes me feel sick when I see it.

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TuneOk7423@reddit

Not a clue, I wouldn’t let mine get theirs done until they were ten. I’ve seen babies screaming in Claire’s Accessories and it was heartbreaking

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shewfleck@reddit

My Indian parents pierced my ears when I was 2. Luckily, I've never had any issues with my piercings. As an adult, learning that there could have been physical issues with having piercings done while still growing, and MORE importantly learning about bodily autonomy, I promised myself that my children would only have their ears pierced when they asked. My eldest wasn't fussed, and waited until she was about 13. My youngest asked at 9, but the piercer we chose had a policy of no under 10s, so we went for her 10th birthday. My children asked why I waited and I told them that beyond serious medical decisions, and other health related things (diet and hygiene) I mustn't decide what should be done to THEIR bodies. I don't regret having pierced ears, but it would have been nice to have had the choice.

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Kitchen_Moose717@reddit

It is for your child to decide once she’s well into her teens, nobody else. And least not her aunt.

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Maleficent_Day_3869@reddit

i come from a culture where we pierce babies in the hospital they’re born at and i think we should wait until children are old enough to consent and know the aftercare instructions there’s a video of me being pierced at one week old and it’s horrible to watch. plus now that ive grown up, my holes are uneven and wonky. piercings are for life and now i have fucked up ear lobes not to mention how good piercers won’t pierce below a certain age. so you’re stuck with claire’s or auntie’s sewing needle, neither of which is sanitary or sterile. plus babies are gross, they’re getting all sorts in those piercings

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MilkEnvironmental709@reddit

It was a chav thing round our way

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Zaxa7@reddit

Despite pressure from family and questions from friends, I always said I'll wait until my kid says she want this done. Got it done at 9 years old when she asked. You need to set a firm boundary with that aunt otherwise she may well get it done if she has the kid alone, without your consent. Make this clear to your partner as well.

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ThereAndFapAgain2@reddit

Ew it's so scummy. Definitely don't listen to them.

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Dedward5@reddit

Sorry but it’s a “culture and class thing”

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Alarmed-Ad3716@reddit

Culture and/or tradition, my grandma had her ears and nose pierced when she was born, later had half a dozen ear piercings and wore many gold bangles. I’ve been told it was how we carried our wealth, stolen people who were unable to own property, traded and moved etc. and would put as much gold onto their children for if they ever needed it and then as a display of wealth - now I guess it’s tradition.

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TheWyrdSmyth@reddit

I'm quite heavily pierced - I've wanted and loved ear and facial piercings since I was a little kid - but my parents (also tattooed and pierced extensively) were firm that we can't have any until at least 18 so we can make our own choices. There is no justifiable reason for a baby or toddler to have their ears pierced.

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Flaky-Hovercraft8768@reddit

Getting wholes put in your child for vanity purposes should be illegal up until they are old enough to consent.

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ImaginaryParrot@reddit

I was gifted gold earrings as a baby that I wore for most of my growing life. Maybe they're looking for a gift for you?

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Etheria_system@reddit

That auntie has just forfeited her rights to be along with your child. If she will not respect your wishes on something as serious as this, she is not trustworthy or safe to leave a child with.

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darybrain@reddit

In theory, in their mind, it is to avoid the pain and anxiety later on and right now they won't understand it and will quickly forget it. There isn't any physical reason to do it with an infant in terms of ease or them growing up it compared to an older child. Don't forget it wasn't a huge time ago when babies were operated on without any anaesthesia because doctors thought they didn't feel any pain.

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pineappleshampoo@reddit

Seems weird to me, I thought it had fallen out of fashion. Even in the nineties as a kid my parents wouldn’t let me get them done until I was 12yr so I was old enough to understand and care for them after. I know some still do it now but I’m shocked you’re actually under social pressure to do it.

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Battleajah03@reddit

Ethics aside, my mum got mine done when I was a toddler and now my piercing holes are really high up on my lobes and makes dangling earrings look shit. If she wants them she'll get them when she's older!

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liluniqueme@reddit

I was 9 when I got mine done. My dad didn't want me to have them done until I was 18. Mum thought otherwise.

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treesofthemind@reddit

It’s hella daft. I didn’t get them until age 13. And since then they’ve closed over and I cba to re pierce.

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Mr-Incy@reddit

I have relatives who grew up in a council estate, every baby girl had their ears pierced before they were one years ols, so it may seem quite blinkered, but I see it as a quite chavvy. I know there are cultural and religious reasons, which I think is crazy. People should have a choice on what they want to do their body, not have decisions made when they have no control over those decisions, and definitely not because it is the current trend, tradition or because a story book about made up gods says so. For those die hard Redditors that will downvote this, carry on, I have zero interest in the up or down voting thing.

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kuuuushi@reddit

I haven’t been in this situation as anyone other than the baby. My mum had my ears pierced when I was 1 and honestly I’m glad she did. My ears have never had any issues with earrings, didn’t experience the pain and certainly don’t remember it or resent my mum for it. Just my opinion though.

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ab00@reddit

Chavs.

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Impressive-Chart-483@reddit

It might be a mistaken belief that babies don't feel pain, so it is better to get done then as it would be better than when older. Horrifyingly, up until the 1980s, they used to perform surgery on new borns without anesthetic, just muscle relaxants (although that was also partly because it could be more risky than the operation itself due to size).

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Fred776@reddit

I don't understand why you don't have a problem with it, but I don't think it _is_ that common is it?

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ResplendentBear@reddit

You don't understand why she has a problem with people pestering her to have a totally cosmetic procedure done to her child?

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Busy-Doughnut6180@reddit

I feel like it comes from this outdated idea that babies don't *really* feel pain because, idk, they cry at everything and anyway they won't remember it! As opposed to later in life when they'll be too self aware to take the pain... Which is obviously ridiculous.

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takesthebiscuit@reddit

I have no problem with babies getting piercings. Provided they articulate their wishes clearly

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MancCultureBear@reddit

It’s gross and tacky. Everyone had automony and you have no right to permanently change their body until they have consent.

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_isolati0n@reddit

I hate seeing babies with ear piercings. It's cruel and completely unnecessary. My rule is they need to be old enough to ask for the piercing and understand how to take care of it correctly to help the healing process. My daughter is 3 and has asked, but she's been told no as she's too young to take care of it and she definitely doesn't need ear piercings at that age.

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TemporaryLucky3637@reddit

It’s not a countrywide obsession it’s limited to very specific groups of people. I’d say the general consensus is that it’s cruel and/or tacky.

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ImDankest@reddit

I swear it's common practice to not let you baby near small objects that they can choke on... Yet people think it's a good idea to stick a small object to the heads of their child?

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Glorinsson@reddit

Its a great way to let people know you like dawgs

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Thinkinstuf@reddit

Dags

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PhilosophyGhoti@reddit

The answer is multifold and fucking weird. Your auntie shouldn't be allowed unsupervised time with your child. Next time they ask when you're getting their ears pierced reply "next week, and same time as she's getting her tramp stamp and Botox"

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That_Perception_3763@reddit

I think it’s just an old timey type thing. Like it would’ve been popular way back when. And some people still follow along.

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Warm-Reference-4965@reddit

Uurggghh I can't stand it. Whilst we have to make medical decisions for our babies I firmly believe that any unnecessary cosmetic procedure should be consented to. Why does somebody have the right to punch holes in somebody else's ears? Now I'm not say they need to be an adult. I'm saying they need to be able to say "mum can I get my ears pierced?'. I got mine done for my birthday when I was about 9. My ears, my choice.

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Hot_Holiday_45@reddit

I see loads of people with babies' ears pierced, I think it's incredibly common. Sometimes a cultural thing, always looks awful. Echo the point about NEVER leaving the child with those people. Also I'd be very clear with that auntie about the consequences- your choice but that would be a NC straight red for me.

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Sixforsilver7for@reddit

The reasoning behind it is that when they’re a baby it’s easier to keep the new piercings clean while they’re healing. I’m not saying it’s the right thing to do, but that is why some people do it then.

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Affectionate-Owl9594@reddit

This makes absolutely no sense

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Sixforsilver7for@reddit

The parents take care of all the cleaning and they’re too small to be running around outside and then fiddling with their ears.

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Low_Restaurant_1509@reddit

which is weird, because it's way more effort to clean a babies piercing then to teach your kid basic hygeine and care (which you need to do anyway) and let them do it when they are older.

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Sixforsilver7for@reddit

But they’re less likely to be running around outside when they’re a baby.

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KrisKat93@reddit

Id say it's very unusual in the UK tbh. I had my ears pierced when I was a baby but my parents are American (where it's more common) and I'm the only person I know who had theirs pierced as a baby (lived in the UK all my life). Advantages are: Never *have* to wear earrings to maintain the piercing. When done young the piercing is completely permanent. I can remember being as young as 6-7 and only wearing them for special events. I was actually confused why so many girls had to tape their ears for P.E. I've had a period of 7 years where I didn't wear them a single day even for special events and it took some wiggling to find the other end of the hole at the end of it but it was still there! Disadvantages are: I mean well it's an unnecessary cosmetic procedure you're doing that will permanently alter their appearance even into adulthood. If you have it done that young they obviously have no say in it. Its a minor change but it is also a fundamental breach of your child's bodily autonomy...Plus all the usual piercing risks (infection, rejection, scaring etc etc). I don't regret that my parents did it. I appreciate being able to be lazy with my piercings but at the same time it's not something I would recommend to any parents. (What if I didn't like it? I went 7 years without earrings in after all)

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DL3432@reddit

Because an earring goes well with a Gucci dummy.

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Marsof1@reddit

Yep you’re in the wrong country subreddit. This rarely happens in the UK but it almost always happens in some parts of southern Europe.

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LengthyPole@reddit

Someone correct me if I’m wrong but surely getting a child’s ears pierced without their guardians consent is assault? It’s got to be something at the very least

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LittleLotte29@reddit

Because the idea is that a baby will not remember the pain. Which is really dumb because ear piercing is minimally painful, even for a child. I had my ears pierced when I was 8 or so and it's one of my favourite childhood memories.

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Particular_Plum_1458@reddit

Not chavvy imo. Wait until the child can decide, my daughter has hers done at around 9 (years not months).

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marquis_de_ersatz@reddit

Mink behaviour, sorry

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FreeBogwoppits@reddit

My West Indian friends in England all pierce their daughters' ears by six months old. I did ask why, they say the child needs it done, so get it done early to avoid nervous visits to a piercer later. I'm white British, in my wider family it's usually done by age 5, to make the child feel "pretty" and "grown up". The child usually desperately wants their ears pierced at this point and it's done as a treat or gift. As for me. I'm female in my 40s and don't have pierced ears. The pressure from friends and family to pierce them dropped off when I was about 38.

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Strict-Parfait-2256@reddit

It is flat out gross behaviour and unnecessary.

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krypto-pscyho-chimp@reddit

If it was my baby, I would be in no uncertain terms telling Auntie, in writing and with witnessess, that if she does this, you will be reporting to the Police for assault. No way would I ever leave my baby with her.

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ASDowntheReddithole@reddit

Personally I don't like it, but I had bad experiences being made to have my ears pierced as a kid. The supposed logic is that they won't remember the pain, but I don't like the idea of altering a child's body without their consent (I know, sounds dramatic and people say it's 'just earrings'). Plus little kids roll around on the floor a lot, grab at things and try to put things in their mouths - lots of potential for earrings to get snagged on something, get ripped out or swallowed. Plus if they're not cared for properly they can become infected, or if faulty they can slip through the piercing and become stuck in the earlobe (ask me how I know!) I love wearing earrings now, but I wish I'd been left to make my own mind up when I was old enough to understand. If you don't want it done I suggest letting auntie know firmly that you do not consent.

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Clintkid@reddit

Few people asked if I was getting my daughters ears pierced as a baby and I was just thinking "why would I need to?" When she was 5, she asked me if she could have them pierced and it was a nice experience to take her to the shop and get them done. She was so proud of how brave she was and being able to pick her first pair of earrings! Definitely a better experience. (Though her skin kept growing over the earrings and they would get stuck so she doesn't wear them so much anymore)

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fwendy123@reddit

it's funny that if someone got their baby's nose pierced people would be outraged but ears are fine apparently

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_TTYN@reddit

Out of all the baby’s classes I’ve been to l haven’t seen a single baby with their ears pierced and mine is now 1

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Embarrassed_Belt9379@reddit

Wait until you hear about circumcision

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jolittletime@reddit

My friend got a lot of pressure (which she didnt give into) from her Trinidadian aunties to pierce her daughter's ears because people would think she was a boy. So there's a definite cultural element to it

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mu5tbetheone@reddit

Oh, thankfully it's not as common as it once was, but it irritates me too that people will put a baby through that pain for their own vanity, because it's 100% not the baby wanting that done. My in-laws did the same thing asking about my daughter (now 4). I told them in no uncertain terms when she can understand it will hurt, i.e. 10+ then and only then, if she wants to, and if anyone tries to take my child without my consent, I finish them like a cheesecake.

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seven-cents@reddit

>My auntie has been on at me for the last few months about when I'll be getting my daughter (7 months) ears pierced. I've told her no she won't be getting her ears pierced and she keeps telling she is and she'll just take her to get them done. Tell her that if she does that you will report her to the police for kidnapping and assault

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ConsciouslyIncomplet@reddit

Be careful if Auntie has control of baby even for 30 mins. You can guess what will happen.

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rally250crf@reddit

"When are you getting her ears pierced..?.." "I'm sorry I don't believe in female mutilation and child abuse so please stop asking...." This should probably do it.

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perkiezombie@reddit

I wouldn’t say I’ve seen people as obsessed with it nowadays but my mom caved to the pressure and did mine when I was about 2 or 3 😂

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ExultentPisces@reddit

Wait until you hear about what some religious people do to baby boys...

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killit@reddit

> she keeps telling she is and she’ll just take her to get them done. Wtf?!? That would mean absolutely zero unsupervised one-on-one time going forward for them my daughter.

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Moment_13@reddit

Some parents of baby girls hate the idea of them being mistaken for a boy, and so they try to make their bald headed baby look more feminine. Some do that with pink clothes, some giant bows and others with ear piercing. I find that those who are pro-baby-ear-piercing have similar arguments as those who are pro-baby-circumcision - reduced infection risk and the belief that it's better for a baby to experience that pain than a teenager.

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Low_Restaurant_1509@reddit

for those confused how this could ever be common, it's way more popular in other countries ,which includes America specifically with the kind of crowd that also stars in trashy reality TV. I suspect OPs auntie and friend might just be big fans of that kind of media. And in that case the obsession comes from the same place as many stupid obsessions, celebrities.

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Kindly_Difference_99@reddit

In my culture people do it really early but I didn’t do it. Wasn’t deep but I just felt there’s enough going on with babies without adding hurting earlobes to the plate. Now that she’s 4, I’ll wait and make it a day once she wants to do it., same as my mum did with me when I was 6

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Auselessbus@reddit

No one in my circle has said anything like this.

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motherdallas@reddit

I feel like it was massive when I was younger but now I don’t see as many babies/toddlers with ears piercings. I thought was always ‘they won’t remember it so it’s easier’. I personally never got my kids done, and won’t until they can understand and care for it themselves, I’ve had nothing but issues with mine

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Stunning-Profit8876@reddit

The Venn diagram of babies with their ears pierced and parents that holiday in Benidorm is a perfect circle.

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erinoco@reddit

No more falafel for them!

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KinManana@reddit

Sounds rough af

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NoNeedleworker8860@reddit

My kids won't have the choice until they are an adult, same as tattoos.

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Greedy-Ad-3779@reddit

As some who doesn't have a baby, I'm not obsessed with getting babies ears pierced either.

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WindTurbine16-27@reddit

For some it is a cultural thing. Just a common right of passage in some communities

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Mglfll@reddit

I think until they ask, don’t bother. I’ve got mine done (stretched) and the Mrs has regular piercings. None of my boys have asked and my daughter’s words “no, they’ll get in the way of my rugby”

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Careless-Giraffe-623@reddit

It's gross... once they are old enough to have an opinion, say 13/14 y/o allow them to have a small stud or hoop in the ear, but otherwise its a hard no.

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CommunicationDry9294@reddit

Common in certain cultures/countries but certainly not in the UK

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turbo_dude@reddit

How else to identify as a pikey at that age?

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AskUK-ModTeam@reddit

Don't be a dick to each other, or other subreddits, places, or people. Don't be a dick to each other, or other subreddits, places, or people. AskUK contains a variety of ages, experiences, and backgrounds - consider not everyone is operating on the same level or background as you. Listen to others before you respond, and be courteous when doing so.

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Forsaken_Anxiety_979@reddit

My wife wanted our kids done when they were babies. I said No as we shouldn't be deciding to pierce their skin. I said when they are of a conscious sound mind like 9/10 years old (hypothetical speaking) and if they want it then I'm happy as it's their choice.

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Exact-Strife@reddit

Next time start pestering your aunt about when she's finally getting a tramp stamp done. What's with people not getting about people having autonomy over their bodies, the kid has a whole life ahead of them to get their ears or whatever piereced when they want to.

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ambergriswoldo@reddit

Some people think it looks cute for some reason, but the majority think it looks pretty trashy

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Relative_Shop4676@reddit

Chavvy

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Dead_Bones001@reddit

Tell these people that your baby is a haemophiliac and can't just have their ears pierced due to potential blood loss. That should stop your auntie behaving like she owns the place.

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PHayesxx@reddit

It's definitely more uncommon than it used to be. It's either a cultural thing (research suggests Irish traveller communities) and/or a way to 'decorate' your baby further than clothes.

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JourneyThiefer@reddit

I dno anyone doing that to their babies?

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Extra_Actuary8244@reddit

I’ve never heard of anyone being obsessed with doing this I think this is a unique experience to you

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Bubble-Master96@reddit

No idea but I hate it. Just so unnecessary

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