Hello owners, operators, dispatchers and of course drivers.

Listen.

I am going to be serious and honest. Ok. Today I had a flashback. A deep wound or feeling that I thought... it was like a dam broke.

I had a serious no fault accident in 2020 the week before the pandemic hit. I got hurt really, really, really bad. The other lady could've died. In retrospect the hand of God and my 18 years up until that point saved her.

I remember most of it.

I still have pictures.

I... I can't do the job I was born and bred to do anymore.

I'm at peace with it. I am in college now. Learning a industry that also ran in the family lineage and I am passionate about.

But today no fault of anyone's I... I reckon I got triggered. Everything came back and I am doing something my then therapist had said would probably help.

I'm asking Y'all.

Do you get those flashbacks? Emotions? Blanks or apprehension thoughts and feelings and how do you go or work through it.

We see accidents, death, heartbreaking and dumb shit daily and we never blink an eye. Tunnel vision.

But, that one particular time something like this happens or you hear it, see it, or feel it.

What do you do?

Most of the old timers I knew if something like this would come up we would joke or banter a the odd time but... It never was spoken about.

I feel certain ways you know.

But... I don't know. I sound soft or foolish. Like I say to others that "leave your feelings at home" kind of thing but I want to believe or plow through this... thing.

Especially since I thought I got through this. Like all my hard work and pride amounts to this dam breaking and...

Well... Shit.

Mods can take this down whenever.