How to act at a corporate job?

Posted by FindingPresent2164@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 49 comments

Hi, it’s pretty much as the title says, I’m a very socially awkward person (possibly autistic) and I’m starting my first corporate job soon. I’m really nervous about how to behave, how to speak to people and just generally what people expect from me in a corporate environment.

I think i can do the job, but etiquette, getting to know people in the office, attending workplace events and meetings and interacting with other staff are all genuinely terrifying to me and I’m really scared I’m going to make an awful first impression.

It’s a marketing role which doesn’t help as it’s quite a social/conversational field.

Any advice would be very very appreciated!

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nfurnoh@reddit

Totally depends on the company. I work at a large (1000 people) company that pretty irreverent and swearing is pretty common, even from senior leaders. I’ve also worked in banking and publishing and they’re very old school and uptight.

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RudeHelicopter4662@reddit

Don’t start talking about any mental issues you have, followed by asking colleagues what their own mental issues are. I’ve seen a younger actually coworker do this. Was truly horrifying.

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IpromithiusI@reddit

Don't get involved in the office bitching. If they'll talk about someone behind their back, they'll do the same to you, and if it all comes out in the wash that crowd will often throw you under the bus along with them.

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deppyjon@reddit

The best simplest advice I could give is don’t be rude to people at all under any circumstance.

People will accept you if you’re quiet and a bit different but only if they think your heart is in the right place.

The safest way for you to act would be put kindness at the top of how you treat others.

Smile, say hello, don’t be rude ever, work hard

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caketreesmoothie@reddit

why would your advice ever be to work hard lmao. hit your targets don't bother going beyond because all that guarantees you is extra work for no extra benefits

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mattcannon2@reddit

In a corporate setting it gets you a reputation, which gets you promotions.

If nobody knows who you are, you don't get earmarked for higher roles.

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caketreesmoothie@reddit

I've watched careers stagnate despite working hard, and careers flourish by job switching. the hardest working people I know get overlooked for less qualified men. Working hard doesn't get you known in all environment where people aren't valued

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deppyjon@reddit

Yeah me saying work hard is a general simple bit of advice for OP, if they are nervous about their first job I thinking working hard is the best chance of having a good experience at the start, especially if not social as it’ll help people form a positive opinion of them.

In general corporate environments can be a lot more political and about how things look rather than how they are for sure.

It’s working hard and smart, I also personally think I’ve enjoyed work more when I got stuck in, not ridiculously so, I never stayed late or worked weekends for example but doing good quality work has always been better for me mentally then dossing around, it’s always caught up to me feeling shit and sluggish if i don’t have something to work towards.

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caketreesmoothie@reddit

don't get me wrong I didn't mean don't try. in my experience doing good accurate work can be more effective than being an overachiever. I've always done quite well by just hitting my targets and ensuring it was done well, but not going above and beyond because managers can tell when you're being a try hard

nearly every manager I've had has also respected when I understand the policies and stand up for myself instead of being walked over to try and be perceived as a hard worker. my current job doesn't pay overtime so I've made a conscious effort to get my allocated work done to never stay late over a weekly average not give the company my time for free because they don't deserve it. so many other people I know give them so many free hours.

reading this back we're on similar concepts, I jus took work hard to mean go above and beyond when I truly think that's bad advice, even when angling for a promotion

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Low-Cauliflower-5686@reddit

You have to wave your hands around and shout out what you are doing to be visible

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Ok_Mathematician4038@reddit

Agree with the sentiment but not really in your first corporate job, if you want to get promoted early then you should go above and beyond a bit

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caketreesmoothie@reddit

maybe we've just worked in different corporate environments, but working hard hasn't equaled a promotion in my experience. the best way to get higher roles and pay is to get experience and job switch. the concept of staying with companies long term and working your way up is outdated now

I'm also very anti corporate tho I'm desperate to get out of this office I'm just waiting for the job market to recover a bit

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Barkasia@reddit

the concept of staying with companies long term and working your way up is outdated now

It has very rapidly come back in vogue given the difficulty people are having finding a job to begin with, let alone switching upwards.

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Ok_Mathematician4038@reddit

Oh I totally agree that job switching is the way and also hate corporate. But the best time to job switch is after a promotion even if it is small, at least in my experience

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ChunkyLover500@reddit

Also avoid controversial subjects such as politics sex, religion etc. Just nod and change the subject if you have to say anything at all

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HonestViking@reddit

When people ask how your weekend was, just say it was in a range from "OK thanks" to "Really good thanks" and anything in between. The most detail I'll give is something like - "tidied the shed" or "got the barbeque out!".

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Low-Cauliflower-5686@reddit

Bit like myself, I've been away but I answer a, a quiet weekend

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mattcannon2@reddit

"how are you"

"Not too bad" / "living the dream" / "just peachy"

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kilgore_trout1@reddit

lol - please don't pay too much attention to this one OP. Just be yourself, within reason your new work colleagues will probably want to try and get to know you a bit more, talking about your homelife and asking other people about theirs is a great way to develop good work relationships.

Obviously try to read the room a bit, and don't just blab away when everyone else is working and not talking but also don't be afraid to try and get to know people.

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HonestViking@reddit

Yeah my comment was a bit jokey. I constantly overshare at work, hence why I made this comment. I can't help it. I once worked at a place where my boss (and his boss) never, ever gave away anything personal more than "good thanks", and it was one of the reasons I quit that place. It was TOO corporate and impersonal. It was creepy. But rule of thumb, like the other poster said about cocaine in the shed, you might wanna change "Great thanks, I went to Fabric for my mates birthday!" to "Great thanks, went to a birthday party and it was a bit of a late one"... but then one day you'll realise a colleague at work also loves Fabric and then you can discuss it in private on the regular hahaha

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Huge-Brick-3495@reddit

This right here.

They don't need to know that the shed was full of cocaine 👍

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HonestViking@reddit

ROFLLLLL

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sameoldkit@reddit

You'll be fine, you can ask for help - lots of people have anxiety about a new job and gathering the information might help you. It's not unusual to take a while to settle in. If it's a corporate job, you can definitely seek support from HR - it's what they're there for. You might be surprised how helpful they can be. You got the job, the company should support you and help you feel comfortable. If the temperature is too hot/cold, you can ask office support to change things (if in a big office). More context would be helpful, do you have any questions?

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WitShortage@reddit

Take a notebook & pen. When you get taken around the office and introduced to people, draw a little map of where you are, and where they're sitting when you're introduced. Even in a largely hotdesk environment, people sit in the same place day to day.

In meetings, draw the meeting room table and as intros are done, right name & job title in the space where the person is sitting. Even if that information only lasts for the meeting, it'll help you pin down who is who. Don't be afraid to write notes about people as much as you do about what they say. "talks a lot," "interrupts people," "people listen to this person" etc.

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KoorbB@reddit

Work hard, be patient with the corporate bullshit and just be nice to your colleague’s. That’s enough.

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DanceBiscuits83@reddit

To start with, keep the conversation about work as much as possible. Ask questions like 'what does your role involve?' or 'what's your team focusing on this week?' or 'how will we be working together?'.

If things get non-worky, don't talk about politics, sex, relationships, drugs/booze, or religion. Even if others do (they already know each other and know what's acceptable - you don't). Stick to holidays, weather, sports, food, pets, TV/films, and hobbies.

You don't need to be a chatty person to be liked or respected - let others do the talking if they're already sociable and conversational.

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ezkitten@reddit

Im autistic too and have worked corporate roles - generally people dont mind if you come across a bit odd as long as youre competent and not rude

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olorinestel@reddit

On your first day, go with the intention of eating lunch out, rather than bringing your own packed lunch.

Your manager/team may be taking you out for a welcome lunch that day. If not, ask them for recommendations on what is good nearby (even if you just end up getting a meal deal).

After day 1 - feel free to bring your own lunch if you like (except for days with scheduled team/client lunches)

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abradubravka@reddit

Going to sound silly but don't ask permission to go to the toilet.

Seen a lot of people straight out of school doing this and it makes me want to dissolve. 💀

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FindingPresent2164@reddit (OP)

I know this one! But it’s other stupid stuff like this I’m worried that I’ll do by accident

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olorinestel@reddit

That said - don't get up in the middle of a meeting to go to the toilet (unless it is an absolute 100% emergency - in which case, politely excuse yourself).

I've worked with a few juniors who just upped and left and it is NOT a good look.

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KittyBeans90@reddit

Don’t call people cunts.

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AirlineSevere7456@reddit

Unless on the way out

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Quirky-Possibility52@reddit

Genuinely advice that a contractor failed to follow in my last job.

He didn’t return.

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PorkAmbassador@reddit

However, prick and dickhead are fine, I have found.

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MainGeneral4813@reddit

Not to their faces anyway. Also, make sure the teams call is ended before you start swearing.

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henansen@reddit

Some tips from the corporate world:

- If you walk into unfamiliar territory, natural instinct can be to speed up and look like you know exactly where you are going. Do the opposite, intentionally move slowly to get your bearings and not move rashly

- Anytime you are writing a piece of communication, check it with the question 'would i be happy with my CEO reading this message of mine'. If the answer is no, rewrite it. You don't have to be corporate jargon, but you do need to be positive and professional in most comms

- Be curious in colleague's roles and day job, it's a great skill for career growth

Good luck!

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PhobosTheBrave@reddit

Be polite and kind. Smile when you pass somebody, hold doors open.

Don’t chat shit about others, don’t swear or be explicit around people who don’t know you. Don’t bring up politics or contentious topics.

Do the above and find people you like and connect more with. After that you can relax more once they know you’re a good egg.

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Evacuation_euphoria@reddit

Great advice! It would generally be good if everyone had this list in mind when they start a job, or just generally going to work.

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disasterly213@reddit

I know it’s old and tired but just try to be yourself. You’ve survived this far interacting with the world you should be fine. Be good to people and uphold your responsibilities that’s all you can do. Congratulations and good luck!

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Boboshady@reddit

My main advice - and this is based more on my own experience than anything - is that they can be quite political environments, and it's possible you'll work with some people who will quite gladly stab you in the back to further their own career (or save their own asses). You get around this purely by being professional - the very things that protect you, such as being polite, diligent, well-documented, organised etc. - are exactly the traits that will see you do well.

TBH - the same applies in any work situation 😄

Corporate work can be a little more formal, is all - stronger hierarchy and expectations around knowing your place, but they're also great environments to flourish in, so know your place, but don't be afraid to shine a little.

Avoid, at all costs, any familiarity, until you are actually very familiar with your co-workers and the situations you are in. No one got fired for being polite and curteous, but people get fired all the time for being too chummy.

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OlParky@reddit

Ten years in corporate taught me this: most colleagues come and go you won't miss them once they're gone.

Take your time settling in. Don't overshare just to win people over. Get a feel for who's open to conversation and who isn't. In my current role I've been there a month one colleague took three weeks to open up, another has barely spoken to me at all.

Work can be a great place to meet people, but at the end of the day, you're there to do a job. Be yourself and you'll find your people.

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palebluedot365@reddit

Two options:

Mask/fake it - be confident, chatty and engaging. Make a great first impression. This will be at the expense of your long term wellbeing, but you can probably pull it off for a few years.

Be authentic - don’t be rude obviously, but just be a little more reserved. Get to know people gradually. Yeah people might think you’re “quiet” for a while, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

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don't just hide in a corner.

Don't be too loud.

Don't assume they want to be your friend.

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